"Well, there she goes. Oh, I really hope this works."
"Me, too. They really were good friends before this whole… Sunset Shimmer unpleasantness."
"We all were."
"True. Honestly, it’s almost embarrassing how easily we were all turned against each other, dissuaded from even talking to one another and… oh! They’re actually talking! That’s a good sign!"
"Oh, good. Honestly, I was a little worried. They can both be a little stubborn."
"Hmmm… Spoken like someone in the know, you know? Like someone who knows a little more than they’ve let us know that they know, if you know what I mean."
"Pinkie, keep it down, please. I’m trying to watch thiiiis."
"…"
"What? There were rumors that they were dating before they, ah, weren’t; and I’m interested to know if that was true, that’s all."
"Mm."
"Oh, no! Are they arguing again?"
"Unlikely, darling. They’ve always been competitive. I think they’re just being a little over-enthusiastic in their apologies."
"Maybe they’re having an apologize-off?"
"I… don’t think that’s a thing, Pinkie."
"It could be. 'No, I'm sorrier!'."
"Ooh, they look a little bit upset now…"
"Oh, no! This was a bad idea! What was I thinking? Thi- Ahhh! They’re trying to bite each other’s faces off!"
"…they’re kissing, darling."
"Wait. What?"
"Yep! K-I- smooch! smooch! -I-N-G. What kind of alternate universe did you fall here from?"
"Eh, heh, heh…"
"Admittedly, it’s more, er, passionate than is typically allowed on school grounds-"
"Depends on where VP Luna is."
"-but yes. I suppose this means they were dating. Vindication, I suppose."
"And now they’re back to arguing! And now they’re back to kissing again. Huh. That’s a really complicated relationship. You know what’s not complicated? Cupcakes. Cupcakes don’t ask questions. Cupcakes understaaand."
"Where did you get th-? Actually, never mind. Forget I said anything. "
"Mmm. Twilight? Flutters? Want one?"
"I'll… pass, this time."
"No, thank you."
"Eh. Your loss. Ok, they're grabbing each others’ hair. I think they’re friends again! Yay! Pocket confetti!"
"Ack-!"
"Bleh! Pinkie… I…"
"…"
"They aren't-?! … They are!"
"O- oh, my…"
"Eeeyeah… didn’t have that on this morning’s bingo card."
"How vulgar."
"Wait, what? What’s happening now?"
"You really don’t see them sticking their hands down each other’s skirts?"
"Oh. Right. Of course. That."
"…"
"What?"
"Please don't make me explain this, darling. There's no easy way to say ‘they're having angry, public make-up sex’. … Mmh. Maybe there is."
"Nah. Look at that concentration, that focus, those narrowed eyes and rapid movements. This isn't make-up sex; it's a competition."
"A what."
"I've seen this kind of thing before. First one to cum, loses. Ooh! That makes it more like a cum-petition, am I right? Heeheehee!"
"Sometimes I worry about you, Pinkie."
"…Do we just, let this happen? I mean, I understand that some po- er, people need to work things out their own way, but, I mean…?"
"I don’t think we should stop them, no—I certainly don't want to get involved—but this is rather awkward."
"This is the strangest apology I’ve ever seen."
"Mhm. Good thing no one else is around. They'd get detention, at the very least. Possibly even expelled."
"Exp-?! Oh, no, no, not that, anything but that! Maybe we should stop them."
"Nah. They're in the zooone now. The final stretch. And I don't just mean Rainbow’s party cave around Applejack's fingers."
"Eep-!"
"Ugh! Pinkie, really!"
"What? It's natural! You can't tell me you don't rub one out every now and again."
"Pinkie."
"You never flick your bean?"
"Pinkie…!"
"Polish your pearl?"
"Really, now."
"Mash your muffin?"
"Oh, my…"
"Do a little self-servicing? Host your own downstairs light switch rave? Make some clam chowder?"
"Why are you like this?"
"Spin some records? Do some finger painting? Ring the downstairs doorbell?"
"Darling, Fluttershy’s face is currently resembling an overripe tomato, and if Twilight understood half of those euphemisms-"
"I-"
"-hers would be, too. It is unbelievably uncouth to discuss this. I don’t care if we’re all adults here, there is a time and a place for it and on school grounds is not it."
"That’s not a nooo!"
"This is not up for discussion."
"…"
"No. Pinkie, no. Stop looking at me like that."
"…heeheehee..."
"Mmgh… Fine. I know you've got one more dirty throwaway line in there just dying to come out, so, just, go ahead. Say it."
"Maud does butt stuff."
"Ah, yes. There we go. A prime example of a thing I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing."
"Wait. What's that noise?"
"Ooh, I think Rainbow is about to lose!"
"I don't think any one of us has won, really."
"Ack-! She just bit her!"
"Ahh, don't worry. She likes that. Look, see? Applejack's holding her head there, against her chest. And she's still fingering her, by the looks of it. Yeah, Rainbow’s still twitching! Wow, that must be some orgasm she gave her."
"I don't know who appointed you the official play-by-play announcer for exhibitionists, but I can't say I'm a fan of the decision."
"Awww, now they’re cuddling! Cuddles are good! I guess all is forgiven."
"That’s good, because I’m not sure if I’ll ever quite feel clean again."
"Squeak!"
"Oh, they're coming back over here. Act casual."
"…"
"Cas- Take the sunglasses off, Pinkie!"
"Hey, y’all. Somebody, and I think we can all guess who, told Rainbow Dash that my bake sale had been moved to a different day. Dash showed up with all the softball team and thought I'd canceled on her!"
"So, you're looking to dethrone Sunset Shimmer and become Princess of the Fall Formal, huh? Gotta say, I'd really love to see that happen. I'll totally help you out! All you gotta do is beat me in a game of one-on-one."
"Ah. And, uh, by one-on-one, do you mean… uh… the thing, with the fingers, and…"
"In soccer, you pervert. First to five goals wins!"
"Wait. Pervert? Me?! You just… and Applejack-!"
"Ha! One-zip! Come on, New Girl! Get your head in the game!"
