Once per Day

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 10
Chapter 19
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Victor's Spell Index I
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Victor's Spell Index II
Chapter 18
Victor's Spell Index III
Intermission: The Sword Wizard
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25

Chapter 1

Crimson clouds rolled around me, and with a gesture, they parted like a curtain granting me a view of the capital city that had so foolishly refused my demands of tribute. With a thought, a bolt of red lightning struck the tallest tower of the castle in the center of town. An explosion bloomed from the point of contact, and flaming motes went spiraling out, catching thatched roofs on fire. A cry of terror rang out and the populace scattered like ants in fear of me.

"I see you!" I bellowed as my flying mount circled above the smoldering city. I jabbed a finger at one of the fleeing townsfolk below. "ZAP!" A bolt of lightning flew from my fingertip and turned the hapless peasant to ash. I cackled and stood up in the stirrups of my saddle.

"Cower, you fools!" I roared, thrusting my hands out. "Victor Fremont has come! Bow before me or be destroyed!" The peasants froze and looked up at me in fear before sharing a look and slowly crawling to their knees and bowing in unison. I smirked and shook my fist.

"Perfect! Once more!"

Beep beep beep beep.

I blinked and snorted, scanning the ceiling above my bed and then looking over at the screeching and blinking clock on the little table beside my head. Slowly, my mind caught up with my waking body, and with it came memory of reality.

Especially the fact that I wasn't an evil wizard.

"Aw, man," I sighed. With a grunt, I threw my legs over and sat up. I smacked my clock to shut it up and rubbed my eyes before slipping on my glasses. As I blinked and adjusted to the waking world, I glanced at my clock again. Still two hours before I needed to head to work. I could sleep in a little more.

Or.

I looked across my bedroom at my TV stand, where my DVD player sat unplugged, and my copy of Fellowship of the Ring lay. I might not be able to hurl magic in real life, but for a little while, I could indulge in the next best thing.

Yeah, I'm going with 'or' this morning. I slid to my feet and grabbed the remote off my nightstand. Clicking the TV on as I approached I paused at what came on.

The pony show.

The magic purple unicorn and her friends were scurrying up to some kind of hedge maze before a weird lanky mishmash.. thing popped up.

I scowled and quickly changed the channel to AV. Never would I ever spend thirty minutes on that program. My bud Jeremy had told me the show was fine, and I certainly believed him.

But this was personal, and some wounds never heal. Grunting, I unwound the cords from my DVD player and hooked it up.

The way was barred, and my adversaries were nearly upon me. Glancing back over my robed shoulder, I sneered at the line of foes rolling my way. Their armored shells rattled and poisonous fumes followed them in thin streaks. Returning my attention to the glowing red arcane ward blocking my exodus, I thrust a hand towards it.

"Change!" I hissed, reaching out with my will and summoning up but a fraction of my vast, eldritch power. Nothing happened for a moment, but then, to my immense satisfaction, the glassy device shifted green, permitting me to escape. I smirked and relaxed in my seat. Until I glanced to the side and saw the cop sitting in the lane next to me watching me make an ass of myself.

I felt blood rush to my face and then jumped as the first car in the line behind me caught up and laid into its horn. The cop visibly laughed as I drove off. Thank God the sheer number of people on this planet meant I'd never see him again.

Just a few minutes later, I pulled into the university employee parking lot. I checked my watch and saw that I was still fifteen minutes early. I snapped my fingers. God, I was good. Reaching over and grabbing my lunch bag, I swept my car door open and made my way inside.

The lot was unusually quiet this morning, but that just meant the chances of nothing urgent happening inside were higher than average. I reached into my back pants pocket and pulled out my ID just as I reached the door. I swept it over the scanner which beeped in response and unlocked the door.

As I pushed inside and scanned the hall within, I spotted a familiar balding figure in an argyle sweater vest standing with an annoyed look while studying his clipboard and leaning into the earpiece by which he received calls from all across campus.

"Mornin' Mr. Crane," I said as I approached. He jolted and whirled around, nearly dropping his clipboard as he did. His expression softened as soon as he saw me.

"Ah, Vic! Great timing," he desperately replied in his sharp nasal voice. He pointed with his clipboard down the hall. "There's a big spill in lab fifteen. Nothing toxic, just staining. And the night cleaners didn't bother changing the trash in the third auditorium." I huffed and nodded.

"Straight into it today, huh? On my way," I replied and hurried to the supply room.

I pushed the door open with my back and peered over my shoulder, spotting both the spill in question and the two who'd probably called it in. Will and Jake, a chemistry team who.. Funny, I wasn't sure what they really did here. I also wasn't really sure if Jake was qualified to be working with the kinds of chemicals they had on that table. He was dressed in the same ratty hoodie and loose jeans he always wore and still had that dopey, anxious look on his face.

Will at least looked ready, dressed in a yellow jumpsuit with a gas mask resting on his shaven head. He turned from Jake to leer at me annoyedly before jutting an open hand at the spill across the room.

"Thank you. Victor," he said curtly before shaking his head and whispering something to Jake, who scratched his chin and nodded.

"What'cha cooking today, boys?" I chirped as I rolled my cart into position. Jake glanced up and smirked.
"A real game changer, that's what," he said with a low chuckle.

"Just- just stay over there, Victor. Thanks," Will demanded with a raised hand. I shrugged and went about my work, taking my mop and bucket off the cart before spraying the thick puddle of blue whatever it was. Mr. Crane had said the stuff wasn't toxic, so my multipurpose cleaner shouldn't have had any wacky interactions.

Noticing there were pieces of a broken beaker in the puddle, I donned gloves, crouched, and carefully picked the larger bits out before-

"Psst! Hey!" I stood up and looked over at Will and Jake who were carefully measuring some reddish powder in a small dish.

"What's up?" I called. They both glanced up at me. We stared at each other for a moment before Will shook his head expectantly. I furrowed my brow, at which he rolled his eyes and they returned to their work. I followed suit and collected the last of the glass.

"Hey!" I shot up again and glared at the two chemists. Neither paid me any mind as Will glanced at his partner before snatching a bottle out of his hand and quietly reprimanding him. "Over here, you idiot!" I blinked and turned. The rest of the lab was empty.

"Down here! In the puddle!" I blinked again and looked down at the puddle. Slowly, I crouched again and stared at the fluid. All I saw was my reflection. Same brown hair and faint stubble, glasses, and weird jumbled dragon tattoo.

Oh. That's new.

"Hello," the tattoo greeted before slithering around and off of my face.

"What?" I quietly replied, watching the figure stroke its beard and stare back at me.

"Hm, a bit scrawnier than usual, but you'll do, all things considered," it muttered before bowing. "Allow me to introduce myself! I am Discord, Spirit of Chaos, and if you will allow, your humble patron." I stared blankly at the figure in the puddle. My brain finally caught up and gave me the realization that the figure was a completely different color from the fluid it appeared in. While my reflection was a dark blue like the puddle, this thing was more natural.

Well, about as natural as it could be. But, something about this thing was familiar. Very familiar. Where had I seen- WAIT.

"You're from that pony show," I quietly hissed, jabbing my finger at the puddle. Without a doubt, he was the same mishmashed thing I'd seen on the TV today. He recoiled and blinked before smirking.

"I believe so, yes. Ain't interdimensional overlap fun? Leads to creative types coming up with all kinds of wild-"

"Fuck you, man! Your show killed 'Dan Vs.'!" I snarled. He recoiled again and frowned.

"Pardon?"

"Fuckin' loved that show," I huffed. The snake thing rolled his eyes before grunting.

"Will you just listen? I have limited-"

"Course that just confirms I'm hallucinating," I added, scanning the glossy image. "And the stuff I'm cleaning here really is toxic." He paused and glared at me for a moment.

"No one calls Discord a mere trick of the mind. Not when he's actually gracing them with his presence, anyhow," he spat with a sinister look in his eyes, just before his expression shifted to smug. "I might not be there physically, but your world has enough uncertainty running through it that I can work my magic. Like this." His eyes flashed briefly, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Huh," I heard off to the side. "Never seen it turn that color before." I looked up to see Will and Jake recoiling from one of the beakers at their station. Will scowled and snatched a bottle from Jake's hand. He scanned it for a moment before rolling his head with exasperation.

"You added two and a half milliliters, not two, you idiot," he spat, jabbing the bottle at Jake, who blinked and turned to him.

"S'at bad?" He murmured. Then, the beaker exploded, unleashing a pure white cloud of smoke that quickly began filling the room.

I quietly sat, munching on the sandwich I'd prepared for lunch and staring at the 'Spirit of Chaos' leering back at me in the glass window across from where I sat. Just passed him, I could see the firefighters, police cruisers, and fucking unmarked black vans that had the building surrounded. I looked to the side and down the hall to the main foyer where teams of guys in suits were stomping about.

Suddenly, Mr. Crane passed into the hall and approached with an exasperated look. I swallowed my mouthful as he plopped onto the bench next to me.

"That gas must've been pretty serious for them to get the feds in here," I huffed. "Any sign of Will or Jake?"

"None. They're going to be sending an officer over in a minute for a statement from me," he huffed before dragging his hand over his face and head. "Apparently, those two were preparing drugs."

"You serious?" I huffed, shaking my head in bewilderment. "How the heck did they even get in here?"

"You got me!" Mr. Crane squawked. "Three whole months they were using our equipment!" He leaned forward onto his knees and pointed at me.

"You're lucky you were crouched so low when their concoction blew up!" He declared.

"You're telling me," I responded, shaking my head. A whistle split the air down the hall. One of the feds was waving down at us. Mr. Crane sighed and stood up, patting me on the shoulder before he turned and left. I turned my attention forward to the window, where the so-called spirit was leering at me, occasionally checking an oversized sundial on his wrist. I finished my sandwich before standing up and approaching the window.

"So," I began after a moment.

"So," he replied, resting his chin on his lion paw. "You ready to listen? I am still on limited time here." I smacked my lips and sighed.

"Shoot," I replied and waved my hand. He snorted but stood up straight.

"Mr. Fremont, I've chosen you to offer a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," he began, bowing with a sweep of his arm. He glanced up at me with a curious look in his eye. "Something I know for a fact you'll love." I smirked and rolled my eyes before folding my arms.

"Oh yeah? And what-"

"Magic, of course." I paused before rolling my eyes again.

"Damn, you're good," I leaned against the glass. "So what? You offering?"

"But of course!" He replied with another bow.

"In exchange for what?" I pressed, inspecting my nails. He laughed in response.

"Oh-hoh! I do so enjoy when mortals know they're being manipulated," he pressed against the glass with his paw and claw spread out. "It's simple. I grant you the magic you desire, and you let me bring you through to my world." He looked me up and down with one eye and a manic gleam.

"Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"Kinda does." He withdrew and gave a thoughtful hum.

"Well, in that case, let's just say it's for my amusement, hm?" He gave a hopeful smile. I nodded with pursed lips.

"Let's just say I'm not interested unless you talk straight." His face sagged and he groaned.

"Oh, come on, now," he groused. I backed up and shook my head before looking off down the hall.

"Nah, I-" My jaw hung slack and my breath hitched.

"What?" Discord asked, leaning against the glass to try and see.

Can't be.

Ain't no way.

There, at the end of the hall, talking with Mr. Crane, was the cop from earlier. While he was writing down Mr. Crane's account, he slowly looked up and saw me. He smirked at Mr. Crane and pointed my way, asking him something. Mr. Crane looked my way as well and nodded before gesturing back to the whole space they were in. The cop's smile widened and he slowly nodded before saying something else.

Mr. Crane nodded back and turned to me. "Vic! Come over here!" My jaw clenched and I glanced at the cop, who was watching me with an expectant smirk.

I turned back to the glass and leaned against it with both hands. "I accept. Get me out of here. Now."

Discord blinked and looked off to the side where Mr. Crane and the cop were before shrugging. "Works for me. Hang on!" He raised one claw and snapped his talons. I was blinded as a dazzling light erupted from the point his talons touched each other. When my sight returned, I noticed several things had changed.

First off, I was in a small clearing in a dense, humid forest.

Second, I noticed some birds and black butterflies frozen in the air around me.

Third, I noticed Discord, in the flesh, and looming over me.

"Welcome to Equus, Mr. Fremont," he said with a grin.

"Uh-"

"Hold that thought," he said swiping his claws across my head. He grabbed my hands and placed a limp noodle with the words I was about to say written on it. "We need to get you acclimated to your new environment first."

I glanced at the end of the noddle, which read 'What?' As I did, he pressed the tip of his talon into my forehead. With a twist of his wrist, he snapped back and smirked. Before I could say anything, I was nailed by a whole mess of sensations.
I groaned hard and screwed my eyes shut before folding over and falling to my hands and knees. My skin was tingling like my entire body had fallen asleep all at once and my stomach was doing backflips. To make matters worse, my head was throbbing and my teeth were all aching. I curled into a tight ball and moaned in misery as the sensation rolled all over me.

"Don't worry, Mr. Fremont. It'll be over in a moment, and what you'll be left with will surely make up for it," Discord declared, firmly patting me on the back which only intensified the discomfort. Despite how desperately I wanted to tell him off, sure enough, the pain subsided after a few seconds.

In fact, it vanished so suddenly, I barely remembered how bad it had felt. I panted and mumbled as relief filled my being in its wake, and slowly I flopped onto my side.

"Holy shit," I huffed.

"Indeed, but wait till you see this," Discord replied. I opened my eyes to glare at him but was instead stunned by the change that had taken over the glade around us. Everything was suddenly more vibrant and colorful. The air was also cleaner and had a pleasant, almost sweet smell to it. I slowly sat up and scanned the forest around us.

"What the hell happened?" I asked.

"Your body has adapted to the sudden influx of magic, is all," he replied, pinching the back of my shirt collar and hoisting me to my feet. "And thanks to me, you also have the ability to channel that magic." I looked at him for a moment before realizing what he was saying. I looked down at my hands and blinked as there was definitely some kind of faint light moving along my veins. And as I focused on that light, I could feel the power it carried with it.

"You mean," I quietly pressed. He nodded.

"That's right, Mr. Fremont. Genuine magical power, right at the tips of your-" I cut him off with a triumphant laugh.

"Awesome! How I do?" I demanded, eagerly wiggling my fingers and scanning the glade for something to explode. He raised an eyebrow and held up a thin booklet that he studied for a moment.

"It looks like you just need to memorize one of these, which includes the means for releasing the spell itself," he replied before handing the booklet to me. I snatched it up and scanned the page which was full of weird shapes and letters that almost seemed to shift around the page. Before I could complain though, a few of them lined up and I was able to make sense of it all.

"Oh my God, magic missile," I huffed.

"Good choice," Discord quietly chortled. I narrowed my eyes and focused on the line of symbols, but couldn't help but notice some of the others were still blurry and mobile.

"Why can't I read all of these?" I asked, flipping a few pages to find more illegible script.

"Your simple mortal brain isn't accustomed to the arcane enough yet," he replied, reclining in the air and checking his wrist-mounted sundial with a mildly anxious look. "As you improve, the rest should be clear. But will you just pick one and-"

"Yeah, yeah, got it. Alright!" I clamped the book shut and scanned the woods around us. Spying a single tree out of the rest, I grinned and raised my hand. I focused on the spell I had in mind and watched the symbols associated with it faintly appear and float around my hand. Then, all at once and with a little mental nudge, they leaped into my palm, and an arrow of silvery-blue light appeared. The magic missile shot out and nailed the tree with a squeal like a firework followed by a bang.

I cackled with delight as a chunk of the tree was blown clean off. "Hell yeah!"

"Good show," Discord declared, clapping his talons.

"I'mma do it again!" I thrust my hand forward and focused, only for nothing to happen. I paused and blinked before trying again. Again, nothing happened.

"Ah! Apologies, I forgot," Discord snorted, snatching up the booklet from my hands. He flipped through it before nodding and returning it to me, tapping one paragraph in particular. I furrowed my brow and read the passage before blanching.

"I have to memorize them as many times as I want to cast them?"

"Bingo. Keep reading," he snickered. Doing as he instructed, I felt my blood chill and I couldn't help but slowly look up at the tree I'd blasted.

"Only one per day?" I squeaked.

"At your level, yes."

"Buh?"

"So, be sure to practice! Next is two spells per day, you lucky dog!" Discord said before falling into a series of wheezing cackles. I was faintly aware as he slid the booklet and a few others into my arms.

"Buh?"

"Anyhow, the rest of the details are in these. I recommend you read them all," he declared, patting me on the back. "Or don't. I'm not your dad." I slowly looked up at him. He looked back at me with a cool, self-satisfied grin.

"Hwa?"

"What I would also encourage you to do is consider relocating," he firmly grabbed my head and turned it before cupping behind my ear. "Hear that?" I froze as I could now hear faint howling in the distance.

"What's that?" I murmured. I was nearly toppled over as he pressed his face into the side of my head.

"Local wildlife. I'm all out of time you see, so my spell for slowing down time is running out, and they have picked up your scent," he chortled. My eyes widened as he withdrew. "Not mine though, since I'm not really here. I'm in the process of being turned to stone. Again." I frowned and looked at him in bewilderment only for him to nod sagely.

"Yes, sadly, this is the end for yours truly," he draped his arm over his eyes. "Once again, the brilliant artist is stifled by the cruel acts of the willfully ignorant and tasteless!"

"I-"

"No no!" He silenced me, clapping his paw against my face and clenching his claws against his chest. "Do not weep for me! But remember me, always, and create in my stead!" He withdrew his paw and slithered into the air. I slowly reached after him, accidentally dropping my booklets as I did.

"Wait-"

"Farewell, my beloved apprentice! And good luck," he blew a kiss at me as he slowly broke apart into flower petals. "Know that I am with you always." And with that, he was gone. The petals he turned into fluttered on the wind and vanished into the trees. My jaw hung slack and I scanned the air he had just been in.

Slowly, my eyes fell to the ground and I retrieved my booklets. There were seven of them in total, and while they once had titles, those had been crudely marked out with heavy black ink. The art on each cover was still intact, but that was of absolutely no comfort to me.

"Fuck," I finally gasped. Just then, something snapped in the bushes nearby and I jumped. Scanning the woodland around me, I saw nothing. However, the howling I'd heard previously had grown louder. Closer. "Fuck."

I tightly gripped the booklets and took off as fast as my legs could carry me.

Author's Note

Chapter 10

As I slowly slipped back to the waking world I was bombarded with a battery of thoughts and one overbearing sensation to combat them all. For starters, there was the fact that we probably weren't nearly as safe here with the cult as I initially believed. Nettle had pointed out the clear division amongst the congregants between those like Orgnar seeking to conquer Equestria, and whatever the hell Sash and the rest were after.

Then there was Pseudo. He, all by his lonesome, was a problem if only for the fact he gave us all the creeps.
We'd briefly considered hauling ass out of this place, but there were a few issues there. For instance, actually escaping unseen when there was only one bridge out of this flooded valley. Secondly, the cult might give chase, and there was no way in hell Honeysuckle wasn't still out there.

We'd agreed there wasn't anything more we could do last night and so at my suggestion, the three of us invoked my special ability which was, once again, the most potent and relevant ability for just such a situation.
Attempt to sleep off our problems.

Turns out it was the right call as while all of yesterday's issues were right there waiting for me, my head was clearer now, and I had the benefit of the comfiest pillow I'd ever owned. The softness of it washed over me and wrestled my worries to the ground for a near-flawless victory by pin. I sighed with contentment and rolled my head into said pillow.

"Good morning, Avatar," it said.

"Mornin' Sash," I replied, sitting up and rubbing the back of my neck. Genuinely the best night's sleep I'd had in ages. "I see what Nettle was talking about." Sash flailed his legs as he attempted to roll to his hooves.

"I wish I understood it, but regardless I'm happy to help, Avatar," he grunted before hopping off my bed. "So! What's on the schedule today, sir?"

"Where's Nettle and Sneaky?" I asked once I realized we were alone.

"Ah, they scampered off about half an hour ago," he explained. "Sugarplum came and told them our sect of the Children was hosting breakfast in the southernmost cavern."

"Ah," I hummed and furrowed my brow. "Who's Sugarplum?"

"She was the mare attending you during our journey, you remember?" He said. I snapped my fingers and nodded.

"Right! Gotcha," I looked down at him and then at the stack of books on my nightstand. Pseudo had said there was something neat I missed in them, and I needed to select my spells for today anyhow. But, that just reminded me. "Pseudo wanted to talk about whatever his plans are now that I'm here." Sash tapped his hoof and shook his head.

"Ah-hah, unless I'm mistaken, Avatar-"

"Just Victor, please," I interjected, waving my hand. The sheep paused and frowned for a moment before nodding.

"Alright, Victor. Unless I'm mistaken, he said tomorrow or the next day," he continued, adopting a wry smile as he spoke. "In truth, there's no telling when that creature will be ready to discuss his plans with you. He relies on hidden and esoteric methods to determine when the time is right for such things."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he doesn't decide himself. He lets chaos decide for him," he explained and I furrowed my brow.

"How's he do that?"

"Oh, I couldn't say!" He replied with a chuckle. "But it always seems to happen at just the right juncture, so whatever it is must work!"

Pseudo rattled the pair of dice in his hands for a few seconds before casting them upon his desk and examining the results with a nod.

"Twelve six-sided die rolled," he grabbed one of the dice and quickly rolled it. "Three times. Looking for.." He reached into his robe and pulled out a single bit which he quickly flipped, caught, and slapped on the desk. Lifting his hand he nodded at the face of the coin.

"A sum greater than," he sighed as he pulled open one of his desk's drawers and drew out a bag of dice. Fishing out a fistful of them, he hastily cast them upon his desk and began counting the result of those which hadn't rolled off the desk. "Thirty-five. Let us begin."

He swept away most of the dice he'd thrown, leaving behind exactly twelve, and these he scooped up and then rolled. He leaned over his desk and scrutinized them before repeating the process two more times. Then he sighed in satisfaction.

"Not today, then," he clapped his hands and raised them in the air. "Praise chaos."

"Alright, so, I guess I just need to wait on him?" I grumbled, scratching my head and grabbing my books. "How's he keep things running like that?"

"Well, he doesn't really lead us. We mostly gather around individuals who are the most vocal or bold about agreed ideas," Sash explained with a shrug and a smile. "Orgnar and his cousin Yendrek for instance are the fiercest proponents for waging war against Equestria, so the rougher and more violent creatures here flock to them." I leveled a frown and my eyes shifted as I mulled over his words. A thought and possible answer to at least one of our problems suddenly popped into my head as a result.

"Okay, but what's stopping them from just, I dunno," I glanced at the door to make sure we weren't being listened in on before whispering. "Killing the other groups or killing Pseudo and taking over the whole cult?" Sash nodded in response.

"I'm not sure Pseudo would be opposed to that," he explained before tilting his head with a thoughtful frown. "He's very, er, go with the flow is how I've heard him described." I raised my eyebrows as a scheme began to form.
"So-"

"But I don't believe even Orgnar is stupid enough to try that," he added, shaking his head. "Part of why we believe Pseudo is a prophet of change is the things we've seen happen to those seeking him harm." He gave a hearty laugh and pointed a hoof.

"For example, there was this rough and tumble dragon who was eager to overthrow the Dragon Lord and attempted to kill Pseudo when he would not take action," he leaned forward with a wink. "A dust cloud rolled in just as he tried to breathe fire and he inhaled it before choking to death." I stared at him silently for a few moments as my scheme dissolved into nothing.

"Huh," I finally huffed. Before I could sink deeper into fear of whatever the hell Pseudo was, Sneaky and Nettle walked in. Sneaky had a plate of pancakes carefully balanced on her back, while Nettle came empty-handed.

"Sleep well? You missed breakfast," he asked, looking between me and Sash. "Sheep is good, yes?"

"Yes, very," I enthusiastically replied, drawing a blush from Sash. I raised an eyebrow as Sneaky hopped on her bed and scooted her plate beside her. She smiled until she saw me staring and then spread her wing between me and the plate.
"I'm not sharing," she said with a snarl. I held up my hands and shook my head.

"Hey, that's fine, but maybe you'd be willing to share if you learned anything while you two were with the rest of the gang?" I offered. Sneaky raised an eyebrow but kept her wing up.

"Most of the creatures we ate with think you're just the best thing since sliced bread, for starters," she explained with a snort, her expression twisting to a smirk. "A lot of them ran into issues with Equestrian high society specifically before they ran into that Pseudo creep."

"Creep!" Sash huffed, shaking his head in disapproval. I leveled a scowl at Sneaky who shrugged in response. Just behind me, I heard Nettle loudly recline on his bed with a sigh.

"Anyway, they're all convinced you're going to help them 'right the wrongs their social betters have wrought' and all that," she added taking a bite from her pancakes. Once she swallowed she continued. "I think you were aware of all that already though. I told you that plenty of Equestria's important ponies are jerks and get away with awful stuff, didn't I?"

I nodded and turned to Sash. "Yeah, and you mentioned something similar about the Children of Change," I said, scratching my chin. "Guess noble folk fucking over the common folk is pretty damned common." He recoiled with a scowl.

"Believe me, I know," Sash replied with a bitter grunt. "I was the head of the Vanhoover Executive Bureau of Administration, and worked directly under Baron Truffles." Sneaky and I shared a look.

"You were a noble?" She asked.

"Technically, no. Legally, yes," Sash explained with a sad smile and a nod. "I was granted my office by Baron Truffles' father, Celestia rest his soul. I've worked between the citizenry and the nobility for years, and done what I could to mitigate the less than savory actions the latter group has attempted to perform on the former." I leaned on my knees closer to him.

"So, why're you out here and not back in Vanhoover?" I blinked. "Wherever that is."

"Well, as I said, I did what I could to mitigate things, but," his expression turned even and his stare grew distant. He was silent for a few seconds. "I've come to realize the limitations of my office in that regard." Again, Sneaky and I shared a look but he spoke again before we could press.

"Here, however, we have a chance to make real and effective change," he declared stamping his hoof. "That's why I've granted Pseudo the greater share of my savings to fund this operation." A change swept over the sheep suddenly and his eyes turned steely as he paced the room.

"Orgnar and his ilk don't care about the common folk. They only desire power for themselves," he spat and shook his head with an angry bleat. "That is not the sort of change I seek. I seek to provide liberation if not justice to those my peers have trampled upon! Justice for the wrongdoings they have endured for far too long!"

He whirled around and jabbed his hoof at me. "For that, I have turned my back upon high society! For that, I gladly relinquish the small fortune I made while in office!" He nodded firmly and locked eyes with me. "For that, you have my unwavering support, Avatar. For Pseudo has confirmed you to be the key to all of these things." I stared at him in stunned silence before looking up at Sneaky. As Sash's attention was locked on me, he didn't see the grimace she was recoiling with. I cleared my throat.

"Uh, well-" But I was cut off as the unicorn from the cave, Sugarplum, came bursting into our room.

"Avatar!" She cried. "Orgnar and the warriors have returned!"

The courtyard was a practical riot as the entire cult had filed out to see the return of evidently one of the strongest members of the group. By the time we emerged, the whole congregation including Pseudo and another moose even larger than Orgnar had formed a semi-circle around the returning warriors. As if sensing our appearance, Pseudo turned and motioned me over to his side where Orgnar and the other moose were. As we approached, Psuedo also swept his hand at the rest of the cult and they all quieted down, allowing me to hear the conversation being held.

"The Avatar left you behind," the other moose grumbled, before glancing over his shoulder and seeing me. He paused for just an instant before turning back to Orgnar. "At the behest of that sheep." I furrowed my brow and looked at Pseudo who's eyes were forward. Orgnar snorted at the other moose's words.

"Don't be ridiculous, Yendrek! The Avatar's escape was my goal all along, for which I would have gladly given my life," he declared with a triumphant laugh. "But the fact that we managed to escape as well is surely also a sign of providence, Cousin."

"How did you manage to escape?" Pseudo asked holding one hand out. "I was under the impression you were in the custody of the Elements of Harmony." Orgnar smirked and winked at me.

"The Element of Magic thought she was clever and dared to match wits with me," he explained. "She made a grave error in doing so." I felt a change take hold of Pseudo and turned to see him share a look with Yendrek, the other moose.

"Explain," Yendrek demanded. I turned to see Sneaky, Nettle, and Sash at my side, the last of whom had his eyebrows raised in surprise. Orgnar chuckled darkly and nodded.

"She challenged me to a game of riddles, and agreed to let us go free if I won," he replied bearing a confident grin. "I stumped her with the classic, Cousin." Pseudo grunted and gently clasped his hands together.

"You did not ask her what you had in your pocket," Yendrek pressed with a firm frown.

"I did!" Orgnar boasted.

"Despite the fact we do not wear pants," Yendrek added, at which Orgnar paused and pursed his lips.

"Hum, you know? She said the same thing," he murmured before smirking again. "But all the same she surrendered immediately and let us all go!" My jaw dropped while Sash groaned and threw a hoof over his eyes. The cult all around us began whispering and murmuring at Orgnar's revelation.

"Interesting," Pseudo declared. I quickly pulled out my spell books and began flipping for my spells. Yendrek audibly groaned and shoved Orgnar.

"Cousin, I swear if we weren't blood," he grunted before jabbing a hoof at a griffon and then sweeping the same hoof skyward. "Get up there and have a look-see."

"What's the problem?" Orgnar muttered.

"It is possible they released you know you would lead them here," Pseudo explained.

"What! Don't be ridiculous!" Orgnar laughed.

"That was what I said," a diamond dog beside him murmured, drawing an angry glare from Orgnar.

"And I said keep quiet, fool!" He spat. I shook my head and focused on my magic.

Sleep, an easy one.

Magic Missile, another easy one.

Shield, which would make me super durable for twenty minutes.

And finally, Wizard Lock, my first second-level spell and effectively a stronger version of the Hold Portal spell. Since there're actually a few doors here, it seems handy, especially since it has no time limit. Granted, a magic user three tiers stronger than me can ignore it completely and I had a feeling Twilight Sparkle probably counted, but it'd still hold her non-magic-using friends at bay. And there was no way in HELL a dual-classing, sword-and-spell-wielding bitch like Honey was a better wizard than me.

I hoped.

"Intruders at the pass!" The griffin yelled, causing panic to sweep over the crowd and Orgnar.

"I see the hand of Chaos in this," Pseudo hummed, placing his own hand on Orgnar's shoulder. The shocked moose turned to face him. "How many soldiers did Equestria send to secure you?" Orgnar's eye widened and his ears slowly flopped back.

"I see," Pseudo hummed and held up one hand at me. "Avatar, with me if you please." I turned to Sneaky and Nettle.

"Go get our things ready," I whispered before spinning and dashing after Pseudo. He led the way to a stone ramp up to the top of the fort's wall where we both leaned on the battlements to spy what the griffin had seen.

At the far end of the valley and across the bridge was a gathering of little armored ponies with more slipping through the pass every second. I glanced back at the courtyard and compared the two groups visually.

"I think we've got them outnumbered at least," I murmured, noting that Nettle and Sneaky had made it back inside. Yendrek was giving orders to the warriors while Sash was in an argument with Orgnar.

"But many of our adherents are not warriors, and even less are capable magicians," Pseudo replied, tapping me on the shoulder. "And of course, the Elements of Harmony are there." I turned and scanned the army forming at the other end of the valley and spotted the ponies in question after a moment.

"Shit," I huffed. "I think-"

"Do you have a spell of protection prepared?" He suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Do you have a spell of protection prepared?" He repeated. I paused and furrowed my brow.

"Yeah?"

"Activate it," he said firmly. I stared at him for a moment and he turned to me. "Activate it."

"Why?" I asked. The only response I received was a sigh before all the air was shot from my lungs. I let out a wheezing gasp and clenched my jaw as I was thrown from the wall into the open air and then driven upwards.

"Gotcha now!" I heard a raspy voice cackle and felt something squeezing me from either side of my stomach. Turning my head as best I could realized I was being tackled through the air by the blue pegasus from Twilight's pack. She had her hooves locked around me and was hauling me at high speed away from the fort.

And right toward Twilight and Honeysuckle.

Gritting my teeth, I flipped on my shield and began hammering my magically protected elbow into the side of her neck. She grunted and strained and finally began to lose her grip, but by then it was too late and I found myself plunged into the ground, where she tumbled over me and slid away. Scrambling to my feet, I was immediately surrounded by a ring of spears.

"Shit," I hissed, slowly turning and bracing to just charge through the ring. As I did, the ring parted slightly and a certain pair of unicorns and their friends came trotting in to just beside where the rainbow-maned one had slid.

"Give it up," Twilight demanded. "The barrier might save you from the guard's spears, but I can still pin you!" I grimaced and my eyes darted between her and her friends, all of whom wore determined glares leveled my way.

Except Honeysuckle, who smirked and drew the sword I'd stolen which she then jabbed at me.

"Thought you were clever, but you see? All your schemes have come to nothing," she hissed with a low chuckle. I bared my teeth and scanned the crowd trying to think of something before I looked back at the fort, pausing at what I saw.

"Hey, don't act like he's the only reason things have been so tough!" Rainbow grumbled, calling my attention back to Twilight and the rest. They were all glaring at Honeysuckle, who recoiled and looked between all of them.

"Indeed! If you hadn't lost your composure we might have arrested this hooligan days ago!" The white one chided.

"You did not hear the things he was saying!" Honeysuckle replied with a desperate tone. She scowled and jabbed her sword at me again. "He is a horrible, vile little thing." Before I could retort, and boy howdy did I have a doozy prepped, Honeysuckle squeaked and recoiled. We both turned to see the orange one with the cowboy hat, who had just smacked her in the head.

"You calm down, Missy," she demanded with a snort before leveling a glare my way. "Ain't gonna have you draw this chase out again."

"I-!" Honeysuckle tried.

"Nope," the orange one interrupted.

"But!" Honey tried again.

"Nah." Honey pouted and looked away with a humph. I smirked and shrugged.

"Hey, let's be fair," I said, causing the orange one to raise an eyebrow. I gestured toward the bridge. "I think the chase is getting drawn out anyhow." She and the rest recoiled before scowling at me.

"Nice try," Twilight growled, lighting up her horn. "We aren't falling for that again."

"Incoming!" One of the guards yelled. Twilight's horn sputtered as she blanched and turned in tandem with her friends to see Orgnar, Yendrek, and plenty of other pissed-off creatures stampeding down the bridge. They'd been in such a hurry that one of the moose had actually blown part of the gate off and into the water. I smirked and immediately thrust my hand at Twilight, unleashing my sleep spell on her. As the runes leaped from my hand and spread across the crowd in a cone knocking out a handful of guards immediately, she and her friends all recoiled and strained against its effects like Honeysuckle had back in the jail.

"You-!" Twilight grunted, attempting to light her horn. If she had a counter for my spell, I wasn't waiting to find out and turned before plunging through the harmless circle of spears. "Stop him!" The guards were helpless to prevent my charge, but as I turned to rush for the bridge, my legs were magically pulled out from under me and my vision was obscured.

"NOT THIS TIME!" Honeysuckle screamed with all her might as she locked herself around my head. I stumbled and fell into the lake. Just before we both plunged under the tide, I heard Honey gasp. "Oopsie!"

We were tossed around by the flow of the lake into the dark cave opposite the side of the valley with the waterfall. Despite practically drowning us both, Honeysuckle refused to release me, keeping me blind and off-balance. So, far faster than I would have figured, we found ourselves vanishing into the darkness of the cave.

Some unknown span of time passed before we were suddenly spat up against a rough, sandy patch of mostly dry ground. Finally, Honeysuckle uncoiled from me and tumbled to my side as we both braced against the ground and hacked up the water we'd been breathing.

"I hate you with all of my heart," she gasped and gagged. "I want you to know that."

"Coulda fooled me with how tight you were hugging me," I gurgled, blinking and thanking God that her grip on my face had kept my glasses from floating away. Removing them and roughly wiping them on my sleeve, I got a look at the place we'd been dumped.

There was a crack in the ceiling above us through which light was streaming and reflecting off the moist cave walls. By that, I was able to get my bearings and see Honeysuckle coughing and sputtering a few feet away, as well as the portion of the fort's gate that had been hurled into the water. Her mane tunic sagged off of her and she shook her head roughly before glancing up at me.

"Maybe you should call it quits, Honey," I said with a smirk. "You're a little washed up."

"You think. You are. Funny," she panted, magically squeezing water from her mane.

"Your mom thought I was hilarious," I replied, slowly dragging myself to my feet.

"Vile. Little," she quivered and hissed, thrashing her head left and right as a rumbling growl built up and finally exploded into a shrieking roar.

"Oh-hoh-HOH! Definitely hit a nerve with that one!"

"Let's see how many nerves I can hit," she hissed and rolled her jaw before spitting off to the side. She scowled and looked me up and down before speaking again. "Dweeb."

The rushing of the water was the only sound that followed for a few seconds as she leveled a confident smirk at me.
"Huh?" I finally huffed, fixing her with an incredulous leer.

"You heard me, Nerd," she added, her smirk growing with every word. "Dork. Poindexter. Four-eyes."

"Are you joking?" I spat.

"Oh, you wish. I'm just calling it as I see it," she chuckled and shook her mane. "Which is about half as much as you must see with those big dopey window panes."

"I-"

"No wonder you've got such an oversized snout. How else could you hold up those things?" That did it. I recoiled and began choking before folding at the waist and falling into a cackling fit.

"Wh-! Why are you laughing?!" She demanded. I fell to my hands and knees before clutching my stomach. "What?!" I attempted to respond, but all that came out was stammering and more laughter. Honeysuckle snarled and whipped her sword out before stabbing it at me.

"Stop laughing! I am insulting you!" She yelled. I howled and beat my fist against the ground. I heard her sword rattle as she shook with indignation. "You horrible little-"

Croooak

We both flinched. Despite the tears in my eyes, I met Honeysuckle's and we turned in tandem to look further back along the cave we were in. Slowly, a huge, lumpy pale red toad with giant black bushy eyebrows knit together came slapping into the light.

"Quoi?" Honey squeaked. The monster croaked again and then opened its mouth. Fast as lightning, its tongue shot out and smacked me in the back. My shield rippled from the impact and the thing recoiled with a grimace.

"Holy shit!" I screamed, rolling over and hurling my magic missile at it.

The spell struck it in the belly, which gave like jelly and caused the monster to raise its eyebrows in surprise. The beam of light pressed further and further into the monster deforming its entire body until, suddenly, with a springy rubbery noise, its belly snapped back out and the spell shot back, nearly sheering my head off as it passed. I cried out and tumbled to the side.

"The hell was that?!"

"It is resistant to being pierced!" Honeysuckle replied.

"That wasn't piercing! That was magic!" I argued, scrambling to my feet and searching for something else to use against it. Honey groaned and stamped her hoof as she aimed her sword at the monster.

"Enfoiré! Will you just-" The creature croaked again and shot its tongue out. Rather than strike either of us directly, it worked its tongue around us like a snake or a noose and then crushed us together. "HUagh?!"

Honeysuckle's sword flipped through the air as we were dragged toward the monster. We both struggled but couldn't break free of its tongue, managing only to get my arm and her foreleg free. As I gripped the loose sandy ground, Honey began beating her hoof against my chest.

"Do something!" She screamed as the monster croaked happily. I struggled and looked around again before seeing the floating gate piece again. An idea popped into my head.

"Grab that door piece!" I screamed. "Use your magic!"

"Why?!"

"Do it!"

"Imbécile!" She yowled. She strained and reached with her magic, hauling the wood out of the water and all but hurling it at me. "Take it!" I managed to grab it just as the monster heaved and we were snapped towards its gaping maw.

It was a long shot, but nothing in the book said the door I magically locked had to have a frame. I thrust the door piece down passed my feet as the toad yanked me into its maw, and just as the piece passed its lips, I cast my Wizard Lock. The runes rolled off my hand and took on the shape of tiny versions of me with little toolkits. They rapidly hammered magical nails into the edges of the door before all turning and giving me a thumbs up. The door froze in place and held firm against the lining of the monster's throat.

The thing paused and blinked before its tongue unfurled and it tilted its head forward, allowing us to flop out. We both let out a grunt as we hit the ground, but we scrambled to our feet and hooves before scurrying back from the thing. We watched it together as it closed its mouth and frowned thoughtfully.

Then, it began hacking and clamping its mouth open and close. It slapped the side of its mouth, started licking the air, and continued hacking. It slowly reared back on its hind legs and flopped its forelegs in the air, hacking all the while as it slowly tumbled back. It rolled over and leaped into the water before sinking down and vanishing.

I fell back onto the ground and sat there as we both panted, eyes locked on the water where the monster vanished.

"What did you do?" Honey gasped.

"Wizard Lock," I replied.

"This means nothing to me," she muttered.

"Yeah, well-" I paused. My entire body had been drenched. I was drying out now, sure, but I had been completely submerged. I jumped to my feet and rushed away from Honey.

"What are you doing now?" She demanded. Ignoring her, I reached into the back of my belt and-

"FUCK," I roared as I pulled out seven soggy and ruined little books. I tried to wring them out but only succeeded in crumbling them further. I grimaced and suppressed a groan as the source of my power all but disintegrated between my fingers. I grit my teeth and moaned, praying that just like how they'd reappear if I misplaced them, they'd restore themselves too.

"I don't suppose you have something that will let us slip through that hole in the ceiling or back under the water?" Honey asked, trotting up beside me. I grunted and shrugged at which she hummed. "Well, guess we get moving then."

"Moving where?" I asked, turning to see her scanning the darkness the monster had emerged from. "I don't have anything to light the way, you know."

"We can use my horn for light, imbécile," she retorted, lighting up her horn as she spoke. She then stepped further away and paused. Her horn's light revealed a passageway along the water, but she just stood there and stuck her head up, pivoting her ears for a second before nodding. "The air is flowing this way. There should be an exit." She gestured me to follow and I frowned before doing so.

"How do you know that?"

"Officer's training," she explained with a shrug. "Of course, it wasn't a critical class, but I still wanted to make sure I excelled in all categories. Seems I made the right call."

I followed Honeysuckle's lead as we wound up following the underground river for a while. Eventually, it dipped under a rockface, and we were stuck traversing the tunnels. Despite this, she paused every now and again and felt the air again. Each time, she immediately carried on and despite my anxiety, we eventually saw light.

"Oh, thank God!" I cried and strode toward the light.

Shwing

Before pausing and looking down to see her glaring up at me with her sword aimed at my belly. As my shield had vanished well before we made it this far, I held up my hands which in hindsight was a mistake as she drove the sword closer in response.

"Uh-"

"Your barrier is gone and you are out of spells for today, right?" She more declared than asked. "Why else would you have to rely on me leading us out?" I swallowed hard but said nothing, which drew a grim smile from her face. She stepped to the side and snapped her sword toward the exit.

"March," she ordered. "Slowly." I did as she said and carefully walked passed her. Once she was behind me, I felt something slip from my belt. Looking back over my shoulder, I saw to my shock all seven of my books firmly rolled in her magic.

"So they do fix themselves," I mentally gasped. Of course, this revelation was too little, too late.

"And I'll just be holding on to these for now," she purred before scowling and stabbing her sword at me. "March!" I did as instructed and we stepped out into the badlands. She took a few steps forward and scanned the rocky expanse before nodding her head and urging me on.

"That way. We are heading to our rendezvous point," she ordered. "I set it on the off chance we all got separated during the raid."

"Oh, aren't you just the cleverest little thing," I grumbled as I continued walking.

"Merci," she chirped. We continued quietly for several minutes until we reached a dead tree set between three boulders. "Sit." I did as she ordered at which she smiled and gently tapped the top of my head with the flat of her blade.

"Good boy," she said. She kept her sword level with my belly but was otherwise completely still. Every little adjustment I made as I sat there she mirrored in some way with her sword, but still remained perfectly still. Despite that, however, she seemed to be straining. Not to hold her sword or her posture, no.

To hold back her laughter.

Every few seconds, she quietly snorted and her smile was constantly quivering as if any second now, she was going to erupt into a cackling fit to match my own from a short bit ago.

"Having fun?" I grumbled.

"An absolute jamboree, oui," she hissed with a giggle.

"Lieutenant!" A familiar voice came which caused me to groan. We both turned to see everyone rolling up to us, including Honeysuckle's goons. Two of them, at least, neither of whom looked too chipper.

"'Allo! Bonjour!" Honeysuckle cheered and nodded her head at me. "Look at what I caught!" Twilight sighed in relief as she and the rest of the ponies they'd attacked the fort with made it to us and surrounded me.

"Great work! The second you two disappeared, we started a retreat," she said, fixing me with an even stare. "That sleeping charm really threw off our offense plan." I swallowed at her tone.

"Well, seems like everypony made it out regardless," Honeysuckle replied, scanning the group as they aimed their spears my way. She paused. "Where is-"

"Turnip's gone AWOL," Snowpea squeaked, causing Honeysuckle to gasp.

"What? Why?" She asked. Twilight stepped up and shook her head.

"We can discuss that later," she said firmly before nodding at me. "We have a villain to bring in and a cult at our backs." She trotted up to me with her friends at her side. They fixed me with a set of sharp glares before Twilight's shifted to a friendly smile.

"Hello!" She chirped. I flinched and looked around before waving meekly.

"Hi?"

"That was a neat spell you used back there!" She laughed before her smile darkened. "I think I've got something similar."

"Ah-" Was all I could get out before her horn lit up and blasted me. I snorted and thrashed attempting to hold my hands up in defense, but found I couldn't move them very far at all. Blinking, I looked around to realize I was in another jail cell and my hands were locked in chains hooked to the wall I'd been sat against.

"He's awake," a voice declared. I looked forward to see no less than twelve pony guards outside my cell's bars. One of them, the speaker, turned to the one at the end of the line. "Alert the princess." The other guard saluted before galloping off out of sight.

"Shit."

Chapter 19

"Celestia?" Luna called as she poked her head through the private spa door. She hummed upon finding her sister, who was reclining on her back in a wide pool filled with steaming, bubbly water. Her head was rested on a silky pillow on the edge of the pool with a damp rolled cloth over her eyes. Beside her, to Luna's concern, was an open bottle of wine and a half-full glass.

"Over here, Lulu," the elder alicorn called back, spreading one of her wings out of the water as she adjusted her posture with a sigh. "Care to join me? The water is sublime." Instead of answering, Luna frowned and sat beside the pool, considering the wine and her sister.

"Would you care to talk about it?" Luna offered, causing Celestia to adjust the cloth on her eyes and fix her sister with a weary leer. Despite having mostly recovered from her brief bout with Blackbeard to the point she was mobile again, Luna was still a full head shorter than she should have been and her mane still lacked its ethereal qualities. Altogether, she looked almost identical to how she'd looked in the years just before their ascension to the throne.

The sight filled Celestia with nostalgia and brought a warm smile to her features as she sighed and rolled over to face her sister better. "Oh, just frustrated."

"About Fremont?" Luna asked, tilting her head.

"About Fremont," Celestia hummed with a snort before squeezing the cloth with all her magical might. "Sixty-six years ago we finally figured out which familial line in Equestria was tied to Princess Amore and sixty-six years we've been carefully cultivating their children to one day replace her." She bared her teeth as the cloth was condensed into a tighter and tighter ball.

"And he comes along and just sweeps it all away," she all but hissed, her horn flashing briefly as the cloth shrunk further and vanished from sight. Blinking, the sisters considered the space where it had been before the air began to vibrate and the water began to ripple toward that side of the pool. "Whoops." With another flash of her horn, Celestia banished the microscopic singularity she'd made into another dimension.

"Well on the bright side, he hasn't altogether removed Cadance from the empire, so she might still be able to steer it towards remaining on friendly terms with Equestria," Luna said before spreading her wings with a confident smirk. "At least until I've recovered enough that we can consider dealing with him directly." Celestia sighed and rested her chin on her pillow.

"Based on Caddy's letter, I don't think that would be ideal," she murmured. "The crystal ponies genuinely seem to idolize him to an extent, and so they wouldn't take us stomping in and obliterating him all too well." Luna closed her wings and rubbed her chin.

"If that's true, wouldn't the ideal course of action be to reveal his mischievous and untrustworthy side to them?" She offered, drawing a nod from her sister.

"I've considered that and have F.R.O.W.N on standby to help with dispelling the lustrous lens they view him through," she explained before closing her eyes. "But with Blackbeard still on the loose, Goldflame and his schemes, and the recent devastation of the Whole Grain Barony, it, well." She raised one wing just barely out of the water and began gently stirring the pool.

"Sadly I think it might be best to leave Mr. Fremont in the empire. At least then he's easier to keep track of," she said before jolting with a bitter laugh. "Oh yes! And the Alicorn Amulet, which we only just found, has gone missing." Luna winced at the revelation as Celestia fixed her with an exhausted smile.

"Apparently, the bit-pinching shopkeeper who'd promised it to our operatives for a small fortune sold it to some hooded stranger for, by our estimates, not even half of what he demanded, while we were busy consolidating the funds," her smile wavered and she flopped down again. "The sight of all the coins right in front of him was too much to pass up, he claims." Celestia conjured up another cloth and draped it across her entire face with a weary sigh. Luna wilted at the sight for a moment before clearing her throat.

"Well," she murmured, gently patting her sister with a wing. "At least Discord hasn't broken free yet?" Celestia quietly grunted in response with a shrug. Silence followed for a few moments, only to be broken when Celestia shot to a sitting position and ripped the cloth from her wide, shaky eyes with a hoof. She stared ahead for a moment or two before narrowing her eyes and turning to Luna.

"He hasn't?"

Discord's head was drooping off to the side of his petrified body, gently snoring when a light filled his chamber. Grumbling quietly, he yawned and smacked his lips before looking up to find Celestia and Luna standing before him, the former of whom had a towel around her lower body and a second balled up around her mane. He blinked and recoiled with a snort.

"Do you two make a habit of just sneaking up on people unannounced?" He accused, fixing the pair with a wry smile in response to their sharp glares. "Honestly, what if I hadn't been decent?"

"You're never decent," Luna shot back. Before Discord could respond, Celestia stepped closer, looking him up and down. His body was still petrified from the neck down.

"What?" Discord murmured, drawing Celestia's eyes to meet his own. Wordlessly, she extended a wing and plucked a single feather from it with her magic before floating it up to his nose. Discord's eyes widened and he strained to pull away. "Ah, I see! Torture is it? And to think I thought better of you! You expect me to talk?" He grunted as he twisted and craned his head every which way to no avail. After a brief and fruitless struggle, the tip of the feather arrived and began tickling the inside of his nose.

"No! Ah! Stop!" He wailed, struggling again to pull away only for Celestia to grasp his entire head with her magic and hold him still. He screwed up his face and groaned with his eyes going progressively wider before finally reaching up and frantically sweeping his claw and paw through the air, tripping over himself and tumbling away as he did. Celestia narrowed her eyes and Luna gasped as the stony body of Discord moved freely, allowing him to squirm away and rub his irritated snout.

"He's free?!" Luna cried, causing Discord to pause and consider himself and then the sisters. The three stared at each other for a few seconds, with Luna maintaining a look of shock, Celestia an unimpressed, critical glare, and Discord a wide-eyed uncertain frown. Finally, he meekly shrugged.

"Surprise?" He offered, causing Luna to glare at him, matching her sister.

"How long have you been mobile?" Celestia demanded. The spirit wilted with a defeated sigh.

"Since my new prodigy stole the throne from your darling little niece," he replied, before perking up with a grim chortle. "You know, I have to admit! He-"

"That was half a week ago," Celestia interjected, causing Discord to recoil. Rising to his full height, he looked off to the side and tapped his chin before counting off on his claw.

"Yes, I suppose it was," he finally agreed with a shrug.

"Why are you still here?" Celestia asked, tilting her head. Luna looked between the two as Discord hesitated for a few seconds. Eventually, he blinked and scowled at the pair.

"Oh! I see!" He huffed, stepping to the side and revealing a second Discord who glared at the sisters as he pulled a zipper on the first Discord's back, causing his stony shell to drop off like cloth. It and the second Discord disappeared in a flash, leaving the first to throw his hands up with a humph. "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted! I'll-"

"You could have been out there causing all kinds of chaos this whole time," Celestia explained, gesturing to him with a hoof. "But you chose to stay, and more perplexingly, you chose to hide the fact you were free." Discord froze at her accusation, and she tilted her head again.

"Why?" She added, drawing a curious look from Luna as well. Discord stood stock-still for a few seconds before slowly groaning and folding his arms.

"Fine. If I'd let slip that I was free you'd just send Twilight and her band of gremlins to petrify me again," he huffed.

"Obviously, but that doesn't really explain anything," Celestia said with a nod. A faint smile worked its way onto her features when she noticed an even fainter blush appear on the spirit's face.

"Well," he grumbled, tightening his arms around himself and murmuring. "I- If I-" He clicked his teeth and paced to the side for a moment.

"If I ran off or you sealed me up again, I-" He growled and bared his teeth, avoiding the sister's gaze as they watched him strain. "Wouldn't- Be able-" He clenched his eyes and sharply huffed.

"To talk with Fluttershy anymore," he hastily concluded before whirling around and throwing his claws up. "So I pretended to still be stuck. Is that a crime? Am I being detained? Am I free to leave?" He fixed the sisters with a scowl. Luna considered him with shock while Celestia's smile widened and she nodded.

"I see," she hummed, before offering a thoughtful look to the spirit. "Well, if keeping up with Fluttershy is your desire, have you considered simply not putting yourself in a position where we need to seal you up?" Luna smiled at her suggestion before Discord blanched with a squawk.

"What? Turn over a new leaf? As if!" He snorted with a wave of his claw. He turned away with his arms folded. "I'm the Lord of Chaos! Turning over a new leaf would mean giving up all the freedom and most of the power I've enjoyed up until now!"

"Which is different from pretending to be stuck in stone and sitting here in the dark, how?" Celestia retorted with a hum of agreement from Luna. Discord blanched again.

"That's," he murmured, holding his chin with a thoughtful expression. "That's a fair point."

"So?" Luna pressed. He furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes for a few seconds before groaning and throwing his arms up.

"Fine! You got me," he huffed, locking his claws behind his head with a hum. "New leaf it is." The sisters shared a smile before Discord moaned, throwing his head back as he did.

"Guess I'll have to talk to Winston about retiring," he murmured, rolling his head as he spoke. "That's going to be a mountain of paperwork." Celestia blinked and furrowed her brow.

"Who's Winston?" She asked, frowning when Discord waved his claw.

"Meta-cosmic bureaucrat. Nobody for you to worry about," he retorted. She raised an eyebrow and shared a look with Luna before nodding.

"Very well, but I know who we are worried about," she said, offering the spirit a smile. "And I know who you could handle as a way to prove to Twilight and the rest that you're sincere." Discord raised an eyebrow and slowly glanced down at the sisters. Celestia hummed a laugh and held a hoof up to him.

"I certainly am willing to take this development at face value, and I think we both know Fluttershy will as well," she explained before winking at him. "But they might-"

"Teach is a bit complicated, I'll be honest," Discord interjected, adopting a thoughtful smile. "He asked for 'a body that wouldn't fail him no matter what he bears it against,' and I was feeling generous after seeing his final performance in his world." Celestia winced slightly as he seemingly quoted the human with a perfect impression of the man.

"So it's not as if I can just magic him away," Discord added with a shrug. "That'd technically be his body failing him." The sisters both frowned at his explanation.

"Yet the Elements still bound him?" Luna mused with an incredulous look.

"Friendship trumps Chaos, as loathe as I am to admit it," Discord replied with another shrug.

"Very well," Celestia huffed, choosing to refrain from smirking at his admission. "Well, what about Victor Fremont?" The spirit's eyes lit up and he donned a sinister grin that caused the sisters to recoil.

"Ah! I wasn't feeling as generous with him, especially since he annoyed me while I was already irritated after your student managed to pull her friends out of my carefully cultivated depressive funk," he explained with a grim chortle. He bent forward to Celestia's eye level and nodded. "To that end, don't worry! The Fremont problem will solve itself soon enough." Celestia's wings bristled at his words.

"What do you mean by that?" She demanded.

"Which means," he replied, standing up straight and smiling. "I've technically already done what you asked!"

"Discord, what did you mean by that?" Celestia pressed. Instead, Discord turned away and clapped.

"Oh-hoh! Fluttershy will be so proud when she hears what a big help I was!" He snapped his claws at the sisters. "Thanks for the easy brownie points, Best-friendia. Ta-ta!"

"Discord!" Celestia demanded a final time before the spirit vanished completely, leaving behind a bouquet of yellow and blue flowers. She sighed hard and hung her head as Luna picked up the bouquet and examined it for a moment.

"What did he mean by that?" She asked, sniffing the flowers gently and drawing an annoyed leer from her sister.

Following my ascension to the throne, there'd followed a bit of a celebration. The crystalline equines called it the Crystal Faire and said it was a national holiday first established by the first empress, Princess Amore, during which the love and unity of the silly little ponies was renewed and fed into the Crystal Heart, keeping it strong for another year. Now, why she went by princess when she held the office of empress, I dunno, but regardless it turned out that my sudden appearance and liberation coincided with the actual date the Faire was supposed to fall on.

Sombra had banned the festival during the seven years he ruled the empire and so it was doubly welcome this year. I'd initially assumed he banned it to keep the Heart weak, but it turns out he banned it cause it was funny. Most of his misdeeds were motivated by his personal amusement, apparently.

Regardless, the Faire had taken a day to set up, another day to occur, and finally, a day for everyone to wind down. It was now day four of the Rule of Fremont, and according to Ivoryhoof the night before, it was time to get to the brass tacks of my rule.

And so, I found myself sitting at the head of a long, crystal table, full of shifting multicolored lights, with Sash at my right hand and a particularly pissed-off pink pony princess at my left. For contrast, Sash looked positively stoked. He had several folders laid out before him and was carefully reading through one while occasionally sipping from a mug of hot coffee he'd ordered. While everyone else had enjoyed the festival, he'd busied himself preparing for the coming responsibilities of running the Empire.

Because God and he both know I ain't got a clue what to do. However, I had a suspicion someone else also knew that fact.

Glancing at Clar- CADANCE! Sash said her name was Cadance. Glancing at Cadance through the corner of my eye, I was met with one of the top five hate-filled, murderous glares I'd ever seen. For who was apparently the 'Princess of Love' it was one hell of a contrast and a slight mark of pride as a villain that I could manifest such an expression without even really trying.

"So, how you doin'?" I offered, drawing an uneasy hum out of Sash.

"When are you gonna let Shiny out of the dungeon?" Cadance demanded.

"When I get your word he's not going to try to kill me or Scuttle," I replied with a shrug. He'd flipped out on me for taking the throne because he's an antidemocratic little shit, and then he'd flipped out on Scuttle for being a changeling because he's a racist little shit. Based on her groan of frustration, she and he were perfect for each other.

"Why do you even care about the changeling? Do you just not know what they are?" She spat, confirming my suspicion. Then she perked up. "Oh, scratch that! You probably don't." She leaned forward as I raised an eyebrow and she gently rubbed my hand with a hoof.

"Sorry! I forgot you were an alien from another dimension," she cooed with a pitying smile before tilting her head. "Hey! I got an idea!" She clapped her hooves together and donned a doe-eyed smile.

"Rather than waste your time here, why don't we get you back to Equestria so some nice unicorns can work on getting you home?" She offered with a seemingly genuine and sweet tone. "I'm sure your family and friends are awful worried about you." I screwed up my face with a shrug.

"Eh? Probably not," I replied, causing her expression to fall. "Didn't really have many friends and wasn't all that close with my family." While Cadance threw her head back with a groan, Sash perked up at my response.

"Really?" He asked, so I turned my attention his way.

"Yeah, I moved out when I was nineteen to get away from Dad's conspiracy sermons," I explained, frowning at the memories of birds being spy robots, the sun being a giant orbiting laser designed to blast dissidents with cancer, and Reagan secretly being an alien warlord. The jury was still out on that one. "I lucked out 'cause the brother of the shift manager at the store I was working at needed a cleaning guy at the university he worked in." I took a breath, now remembering the initial fears I faced following leaving home and how much of a Godsend the university had been.

"Paid almost double what I was making back then and with a little saving, frugal living, and being named in my uncle's will, I managed to afford a single-bedroom apartment on the edge of town," I said with a sigh before fixing him with a mildly manic smile. "Sure as heck don't hold a candle to my new duds though! That mattress in my room is fucking ten feet across!" Not to mention the fact the crystal floor of my suite fucking lit up and was temperature controlled. And the view, my God.

In any case, Sash chuckled at my glee while Cadance grunted. "Awesome! I'm sure your friends'll be stoked to hear about it when you get home!" She chirped, drawing another shrug from me.

"Nah, didn't really have many of them either," I replied, causing her eye to twitch. I furrowed my brow and tilted my head up in thought. "I mean, Jeremy next door and I were cool, but that was about it." Cadance fixed me with an even, drawn expression and slowly blinked.

"How'd an antisocial loser like you manage to become the ruler of the literal kingdom of love?" She asked with no small amount of sauce in her voice. I hummed, brushing my knuckles against my shirt, suddenly finding myself in my element, and therefore, braced for battle.

"I think it's the charming spectacles and the adorable sheep sidekick," I retorted, inspecting my nails and ignoring Sash's squawk of surprise. Instead, I fixed Cadance with a small, smug grin. "And the fact that my competition was criticized for, and I quote 'trying too hard to look the part,' while simultaneously 'lookin' like an oversized candy arrangement.' Subtlety is in, baby." I finished my retort with a wry smile leveled her way. In response, she held her even stare for a few seconds before fixing me with a narrow-eyed, venomous smile that caused my own grin to widen.

Before our battle could escalate and leave her pony princess pride even more polluted, Ivoryhoof came trotting in with a fully laden saddle bag, drawing our attention his way. "Good morning, Your Highnesses! Good morning, Sash!"

"Ah! Good morning, old chap!" Sash chirped in response, shuffling his papers into a neat stack.

"Mornin' Senator," I replied.

"Hey," Cadance groused. She winced with a quiet groan as Ivoryhoof trotted right past her and sat beside Sash, before placing his bags on the table.

"I hope you all got some rest because now that the Faire is over, we've got work to do!" He declared, retrieving several folders from his bag. He slid one to each of us before opening one for himself. "These dossiers cover most of what Sash and I discussed we'd be tending to as well as our ideal timeline for getting these tasks done!"

"Ah!" Sash huffed with no small amount of delight as he dug into the folder. "How nostalgic!"

"Alright, let's see here," Cadance murmured as she did likewise.

"Hm, yes, quaint," I mused with my lips pursed as I scanned the first page and got stuck on the first line. Lotta 'ergo ests' and shit in this one. Glancing up, I saw Sash was already several pages ahead while Cadance was smirking without looking directly at me.

"Having trouble?" She quietly cooed. I leveled a scowl her way before Ivoryhoof spoke up.

"Do you have some input on what I've presented my Emperor?" He asked. Blanching, I turned to see that he and Sash were seemingly finished and looking at me expectantly.

"Uh," I murmured, drawing a snickering snort from Cadance. Then, from nowhere, inspiration struck and I held up one finger. "Excuse me for one moment." Ivory tilted his head slightly but nodded.

"Of course. Hurry back!" He replied. I bowed my head to him before scooping up the dossier and scurrying out of the room, ignoring Cadance's stifled chuckling and Sash's confused leer. Slipping through the door and out of sight, I sat down on the floor and drew my magic tome before searching for a few spells.

"Shit reads like a whole other language and it's technically all one thing, so, here's hoping!" I said, quickly preparing a casting of 'Read Languages.' As soon as I did, I unleashed my spell which lit up the pages and scrambled the letters until they were dumbed down enough that I could make sense of them. In fact, it dumbed it all down enough that I was able to breeze through it and get the gist of what was inside. With a smirk, I strode back into the room where Sash and Ivoryhoof were having a muted conversation and Cadance waited with a smirk aimed my way.

As I entered, the former two turned my way and I thrust my arm forward. "This all seems fine! I have nothing to add!" I declared, returning to my seat and folding my arms with a curt, confident nod. "Let's get started immediately." Sash and Ivoryhoof looked at me in confusion as I fixed Cadance with a smirk. She blinked and looked between me and the dossier, narrowing her eyes as Ivoryhoof cleared his throat.

"Alright! So-" Cadance cut him off with a raised hoof.

"What's it say on page six?" She demanded.

"The Senator is proposing a method for reinvigorating our agriculture sector which was devastated by Sombra's mass crystal mining activities," I replied, brushing my knuckles against my chest. My spell had turned this into 'Sombra make farm bad so he dig rocks better. We fix farms.'

"Page two?" She pressed, tilting her head.

"A rundown on the Empire's general infrastructure," I explained with a snort.

"Which is what?" She all but hissed, drawing a curt laugh from me.

"The empire is divided into ten districts which are themselves divided in two," I said, tinting my fingers with a sage nod. "The larger sector is residential while the smaller is bureaucratic and closer to the palace. And of course, the main roads heading out from the palace are what divide the districts from each other." My spell had turned this into 'City chopped into ten chunks. Each chunk have two chunks. Little chunk close to castle government stuff. Big chunks further away where pony live. Road go between chunks.'

Sash hummed at my explanation as I fixed Cadance with a smug, expectant leer. She held her narrow-eyed glare for a few moments before averting her gaze.

"Fremont," she quietly hissed. Ivoryhoof blinked and gently shook his head at the two of us.

"Well! Whatever that was aside, Princess Cadance bringing up the Empire's infrastructure is a good place to start!" He declared, tapping his dossier. "As the last elections were supposed to happen just before Sombra invaded, it's about time we considered holding a new set." I nodded in response, as not only was this included in his handout, but it had also come up just before the Faire.

Each district had a senator and the two halves of each district each had a magistrate. Every two years, two senators and ten magistrates were elected by the populace and presented to the emperor or empress. They'd then select one senator and two magistrates for each district. Once that was decided, the magistrates would form small councils for their individual parts of their district and stabilize the lowest foundation of the Empire's government, granting the populace an office to hurl their needs and wants at, ensuring everyone was happy and healthy.

And as Ivoryhoof had said, Sombra had done away with the elections almost immediately. This isn't to say he didn't look into what the ponies needed to be happy and healthy, no sir. It just meant that when he found out, he made sure to do the opposite.

What a guy.

"How soon can we organize another election?" I asked, thumbing my dossier which was now illegible again. "What do we even need to make it happen?"

"Ah-hah! If you'll follow me to page four, I think I've got an answer for you!" He responded, turning in his dossier while I shot Cadance a wry smile.

"Way ahead of you," I cooed, causing her to glare.

Turnip scanned the glittering city behind him and the rolling verdant hills before him before whistling. "I gotta say, this is one heck of an upgrade," he chirped with a short laugh. "Definitely worth all the ice and snow to get here."

"Yeah," Sugarplum quietly replied. Noticing her tone, Turnip turned and saw his sister sitting and considering one of the many overgrown and poorly tended fruit trees that filled a long, carefully lined orchard not too far from where they'd walked. The sight called back memories that were sadly nearly lost after so much time away from home. Humming, he trotted up beside her and sat down, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Uncle Nectar'd love this place. Especially if he got a chance to work at those things," Turnip assessed.

"Yeah," Sugarplum replied. A silence followed as the pair watched some newly arrived teams of crystal ponies who began examining each tree. Following along, Sash the sheep appeared with a scroll and began writing something down. "I owe Mr. Fremont an awful lot." Turnip hummed and tilted his head.

"I dunno if he sees it that way," he said, casting a glance back at the palace in the distance. "But I'm right there with you." Sugarplum looked up at her brother who offered her a smile.

"I don't want to imagine where you'd be if it weren't for him," he said, drawing a smile out of her as well. The two shared a hug before returning to watching the surveying team in the distance.

Despite the Crystal Heart driving the horrible weather away, the night sky was still cast in a dazzling aurora that seemed to almost weave among the highest towers of the palace and then cast its light through the crystal structure like a prism. As a result, the nightscape from the balcony Honeysuckle sat upon was an absolutely gorgeous sight, almost hypnotic as the shimmering lights gently flowed across the sky.

So hypnotic and relaxing in fact that Honeysuckle found herself leaning against the balcony railing, resting her chin atop it as she observed the sky. Slowly, her eyelids drooped, lower and lower, until finally-

"Ah!" She yelped, jolting herself awake and to her hooves. Quietly panting, she stamped her hooves a few times before trotting at a mild jog around the balcony. As she exercised to ward off sleep, her ears caught the sound of more hooves approaching.

"Lieu- Honeysuckle?" Snowpea called as she and Violence appeared in the door, causing their former superior to stop her activities and wave at them.

"Bonjour, I'm here," she called, giving the pair her full attention as they joined her on the balcony. Only then did she notice they were in their armor. "It's awfully late. What are you two up to?" Snowpea hummed, smiling up at the aurora as she replied.

"We're looking for the changeling. Emperor Goober wanted to ask her something, but nopony's seen her," she said before looking at Honeysuckle and tilting her head. "Any ideas where she went?"

"We've been searching all day," Violence added. Honeysuckle blinked and furrowed her brow.

"Her?" She huffed. The pair shared a look before Snowpea meekly nodded.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," she offered, drawing a hum from Honeysuckle.

"Très bien, but more importantly, what do you mean Emperor Goobèr?" She snorted before fixing her with an incredulous smirk. "Don't tell me you two are doing what he asks?" The pair shared another look, this one more uneasy.

"I mean, yeah? Why?" Snowpea murmured, tilting her head again. "Aren't you two working together now?"

"Hah! Barely, and only when I permit it," Honeysuckle laughed, shaking her head at the suggestion. "But we're certainly not allies."

"Oh," Snowpea said, her head hanging at the declaration. Violence furrowed his brow before curtly nodding.

"Permission to speak freely," he requested, causing Honeysuckle to sigh.

"Go on," she said waving a hoof at him.

"What exactly are you doing, Ma'am?" He immediately asked. Honeysuckle recoiled at his question.

"Quoi?"

"You've escaped from the situation in Canterlot, but what now?" He pressed, shaking his head gently. "Private Snowpea and I followed you this far out of respect for all your hard work." He frowned and cast his gaze to the ground.

"But now you're saying you're not even really allied with Victor Fremont?" He looked back up at Honeysuckle. "Forgive me but I'm just a bit confused about what the plan is." Snowpea scrunched her muzzle before looking at Honeysuckle expectantly.

"I-" Honeysuckle grimaced and looked off to the side. It was a few seconds before she continued, and then shook her head as she did so. "Désolé, I wish I knew." A quiet rolled over the balcony as Violence considered his former superior for a short while. Raising his eyebrow at her when she stifled a yawn, he nodded.

"Well, we're still with you regardless, but until you do know I see no reason not to cooperate with Victor Fremont," he declared, drawing a grimace from Honeysuckle and a smile from Snowpea. "As for you, beg pardon, but perhaps you should get some sleep? As you said, it is very late and unless I'm mistaken you are not under any orders from anyone." Honey recoiled again and looked at the pair for a moment. Finally, she grunted and waved her hoof.

"Bien sûr. Good luck with your search," she declared before turning away and sitting down with her gaze turned skyward. Violence bowed his head before immediately withdrawing, while Snowpea lingered for a few seconds with her eyes locked on Honeysuckle. Eventually, she slipped away as well, leaving the grimacing unicorn alone. Once she was alone, Honeysuckle snorted and kicked at the ground. "'Get some sleep' he says. Like it's so easy. I had enough of a nightmare when I was snared by that trap, thank you very much."

She glared at the aurora for a little bit, failing to avoid dwelling on her recent experience with the dark magic door that had cast her into a nightmare. However, despite wincing at the memory, she then recalled how she'd been rescued. As she remembered the event in full, she found herself slowly looking upward at the highest tower.

Where he was.

Fixing the suite's window with a glare, she eventually grunted and stepped back inside.

I snapped awake and nearly tumbled out of bed. "FU-" And then fell into a coughing fit. I hacked for a little while longer until whatever gunk was bugging me finally broke up. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and sat panting and forcing myself to cough a few more times just to make sure my windpipe was clear. "Fuck."

Once I'd caught my breath, I brought my palms to my eyes and rubbed them down my face before reaching for my water glass on my crystal nightstand. Finding it empty, I smirked, put on my glasses, and slid out of bed. The second my feet touched the floor, the whole thing lit up in a nice, calm blue hue. It wasn't too bright, so it didn't hurt to look at, and more importantly, it immediately warmed up in the spots where I stepped.

Chortling quietly, I looked across my suite. It was pretty bare save for the absolutely fuck-huge bed, but it still kicked ass. Especially thanks to one other magical feature.

Waving my hand at the cloudy quartz sheet that fit across the entire wall, it gently hissed before splitting into countless thinner strips which then collapsed in on each other as the whole thing swept to the side, revealing my view. The nightly aurora was back, and the city below my room was glittering in response to it. Just like my floor, it wasn't too bright as to be annoying and when contrasted with the night sky around the aurora, created something like finding a dark cave full of shimmering treasure.

I basked in the sight of my city for a few moments before turning to the other primo feature of my room: The private bathroom, complete with crystal everything, and a fucking massive bathtub. Yeah, this sure was an upgrade from the old one bedroom on earth.

Filling my cup in the sink and taking a few drinks as I strode back to bed, I finally sighed aloud, and I mean really loud, once I sat down.

"May I take that to mean you are still awake?" A voice came from my door. I paused and fixed the door with a scowl.

"What do you want, Honeysuckle? Your mother and I are busy," I called back as I adjusted under my massive comforter which I think was made from clouds or something. To my surprise, I didn't receive so much as a grumble in response. I raised an eyebrow at the door.

"May-" She finally said. "May I come in?"

Huh.

"Uh, sure I guess," I replied. A brief silence followed before she opened the door and slowly stepped in. She looked around the room for a moment before straight at me. I adjusted in my bed to sit up and leer at her. "What do you want?" She frowned slightly and hung her head then approached the side I was closest to.

"I have a request," she quietly said, still with her head down. Oh, this should be good. I smirked and lay on my side with my hand supporting my head.

"And what would that be?" I cooed. She winced and averted her gaze entirely.

"Could you-" She flinched and took a shallow breath. "Could you cast it again?"

"Cast what again?" I hummed, tilting my head into my hand.

"The spell you used to save me. From the nightmare door," she replied, causing my smirk to vanish.

"Why? You planning on searching for more evil traps?" I asked, rubbing my chin with my thumb. "Cause I think the Heart already-"

"Non. I," she winced so hard her head drooped. "I want you to use it to-" She went quiet for way too long.

"To?" I urged.

"To make the nightmares stop for a night," she squeaked as soon as I did.

Woah.

I sat up slightly and furrowed my brow while she continued to look away. "What nightmares?"

"The ones that I'm scared-" She snapped her mouth shut and looked up at me. As I looked at her in surprise, her lip twitched. "The ones I'm scared of having if I go to sleep." I blanched and blinked as my head swam a little from her explanation.

"Oh," I finally huffed, before shaking my head, causing her to grimace. "Well, sorry, but that spell doesn't work like that. Like, I don't think it'll keep your nightmares away, it just keeps evil things away."

"Nightmares are pretty evil," she argued with a curt nod. When she spoke again, it was with a much lower tone. "These ones definitely are."

"I mean," I was about to retort when I considered her point. Was that true in Pony World? "That aside, I don't cast it on other people, I cast it on myself and it like, surrounds me in a protective aura." I shrugged at her with a sigh. She considered me for a moment before hanging her head.

"Can I sleep here then?" She whispered too quietly for me to hear. I leaned closer.

"What's that?"

"Can I sleep in here then?" She said, louder this time and still with her head down. "Just for one night?" A very uncomfortable quiet followed as I considered what she'd just asked, during which time I pulled back my blanket and sat up on the edge of my bed.

"How bad are these nightmares?" I finally gasped out.

"They-" She paused with a grunt. "Often keep me awake, like I said."

"How often?" I pressed, leaning on my knees with my hand on my chin.

"I haven't-" She cleared her throat as her response initially came in a squeak. "I haven't gotten a proper night's sleep in nine years." Once again I found myself sucker punched. As I considered if her words were even true, something popped into my mind. Something from a ways back, when I'd first met this semi-psycho little horse. Something Nettle had said.

Scary sword pony very attentive. Not sure when she sleep. Hear her throughout night.

"Is that," I attempted to say as I reeled from all of this. "That's why you were able to fight off my sleep spell?"

"I am accustomed to fending off sleep, oui," she murmured with a nod. I drew my hand over my head with a huff.

"This explains that and a whole heck of a lot of other stuff too," I said with wonder.

"Victor." My amazement was doubled when I processed that she'd used my first name. "Please?"

Huh.

With a sigh, I looked over and pulled my spell book from my nightstand, causing her to look up at me. I read over the spell she was referring to before frowning. "It's not that I'm not sympathetic. For once, I am," I glanced down at her with an eyebrow raised. "But I dunno if this spell will help." She frowned for a moment before shaking her head.

"I'd like to at least try," she replied, causing me to nod.

"Alright," I said, preparing the spell. Boy howdy was she lucky I'd only used Read Languages a few times today and no other spells.

"If it doesn't," she suddenly added, the confidence in her voice all but vanished. I locked eyes with her bangs as she scrunched her muzzle. "If it seems like it's not working will you wake me up?" I frowned and considered my spell book for a moment.

"Uh, sure, I can try to keep an eye on you," I said before glaring at her. "But I'm not staying up all night for you. You're getting like an hour of monitoring, tops."

"Merci," she sighed as I set the book aside and scooted back to where I'd been sleeping. She considered me for a moment before mumbling. "How- Close do I-"

"I'm casting the big one that covers ten feet," I said, folding my glasses and setting them on my stand. "So snooze wherever you like."

"Thank goodness," she gasped before trotting around to the opposite side of the bed and hopping up. Finding a spot a comfortable distance from me, she curled up with her back to me. I raised my hand to unleash my spell. "Have you cast it yet?"

"Yep," I replied as the golden aura washed across the whole bed.

"Good," she sighed. I rolled over with my back to her before pausing and rolling back to keep an eye on her. Propping up on my elbow again, I watched her for a few minutes as she just sat there, breathing.

"Thank you," she eventually whispered.

"Sure."

Chapter 2

My arm was aching, but I didn't dare lower it or drop the brick I was holding with it. The clearing around this ruined castle I'd found had been quiet, but my eyes remained wide and alert. From my spot behind one of the weird low thrones deep inside the castle, I carefully scanned the room around me.

I hated camping for this exact reason. No telling when and where wild animals might strike, like dad always used to say. 'Course, he also firmly believes that birds are spies for the government, so that kind of called a lot of his wisdom into question. Narrowing my eyes, I slowly crouched lower and set the brick down before hiding completely behind the throne.

Grumbling, I glared at the booklets Disfuckinguy had left with me which I had leafed through a few times since finding this place, between bouts of threatening the nothing around me with my brick. The titles might have been inked out, but the art, credits, terminology, and by God, the suggestion of needing 'Gary Gygax's Chainmail®' for combat told me exactly why my magic was so fucked up.

"Mo'fucking grognard ass chaos god, leaving me with D&D ZERO edition ass powers," I spat, shaking my head with a mournful sigh. "Couldn't even have made me a fucking Elf or something? Give me a cool special race power or some shit?" I let out a full breath as a moan and rubbed my eyes.

After a moment, I glanced back out and at one of the broken windows. The sun was still up but was much lower than when I'd arrived, which brought to mind a new set of problems. I was stuck in a ruin in the woods with no idea how far to the nearest patch of civilization, barely functioning magic, and it would be nighttime sooner rather than later.

"Oh-hoh my God, I'm going to die," I muttered, sagging back down against the throne and holding my head in my hands. Seriously, I'd take being a Halfing at this point. Pretty sure they were good at sneaking regardless of edition.

Wait.

I set my brow and cast a severe glare before rising to my feet.

"Yes, of course. How could I forget?" I slapped the booklets against my hand and paced. "I am an American man, born between 1981 and 1997!"

I thrust my empty clutching hand into the air. "I! Am a Millenial! I! Have the most potent and relevant ability for just such a situation!" I slowly crept onto the floor and lay my head on the booklets. I closed my eyes and sighed. "'Attempt to sleep off my problems.' Hell yeah."

The moon was in its place high in the sky, casting its pale light onto the castle garden. And all without a hint of the celestial body trying to rapidly switch places with its fiery counterpart. Just further confirmation to the average citizen that all was right after such a trying period, as well as confirmation that Celestia's duties were over for the day.

And so, she found herself in the garden, staring up at the moon before turning her attention to the petrified form of her old adversary sitting just before her. The new Element-bearers had certainly done a number on him. As opposed to when she and her sister had defeated the spirit ages ago, his face was frozen in an expression of shock and fear, not of mirth.

But she herself drew no mirth from this. Instead, she sighed and looked up a the moon.

"You know, there was a time not too many centuries ago when I would have continued research into a means to permanently be rid of you, just as Luna and I did when we first overcame you," she tilted her head. "A part of me believes you were aware of that."

Her eyes drifted to the statue of Discord. "You must be wondering what changed," she added, turning her attention fully to the statue. "Well, initially, the loss of my sister and the sudden trials that came with ruling this land alone devastated both my spirit and my ability to freely delve into such deep arcane secrets as destroying you would necessitate." The princess cast her eyes down as her mind wandered to days long passed. With a deep breath, she managed a smile.

"More recently, however, I've had a more positive worldview reinforced," she looked up at the statue's eyes. "I now firmly believe that anyone is capable of changing for the better if we only seek the means or individuals to help them."

She stood and took a few steps closer. "Believe it or not, I do envision a day when you can walk free amongst the rest of us," she declared, eyes locked with the statues. Humming, she turned and made her way to the castle. "Maybe someday."

"Sooner than you think."

"What?" Celestia gasped, whirling back around. She gazed in shock at the statue, mouth agape for a moment before she clenched her jaw and scanned the garden. Her eyes darted left and right and she leaned close to the ground. Regardless, she was still alone with the petrified spirit. She huffed and carefully studied the statue one final time before returning inside.

I groaned and slowly rolled onto my side. "Alrighty. Tried sleeping on stone, and on a mattress," I murmured as I rubbed the aching point between my shoulders. "Yeah, I'm a mattress guy." I let out a hard sigh and peeked around the thrones to see the sun was only now touching the horizon. I rubbed my face and sat up.

"At least my head's clearer," I muttered before blinking. I pointed at the window I'd looked at earlier before tracing my finger to the one on the opposite wall, through which the sun was now shining. I beamed and pumped my fist. "Yes! Slept all the way through to morning!" I paused and leaned forward to stare at the window.

"I think? Is that east?" I frowned and looked between the windows. "Does it still rise and set normal here?" I licked my front teeth, which definitely felt like I'd slept an entire night. My rumbling aching stomach tore me out of my thoughts.

I had to find food and water.

I grumbled and scooted forward to sit between the two thrones and rubbed my eyes. I was in a forest, there had to be something edible out there. Fuck if I knew how to identify what was and wasn't poison though. I sat with my hand curled against my chin when it hit me.

"Right. New day, new spell," I huffed and lay back to grab my booklets. "Let's see if anything in here can help." I sighed and scanned the names of the spells I could read, but nothing seemed especially useful.

Magic Missile's great and all, especially since we ain't using dice here. The spell tore a chunk out of a pretty solid-looking tree, so it could probably kill most of whatever's out in the woods. But only one of whatever's out in the woods. If I knew the first thing about hunting and skinning, it'd be great. I, however, remained a city boy.

I scanned the other options available to me, reading what the script claimed each spell did.

"Oh boy! 'Read Languages,'" I cheered. "My fucking favorite."

"'Ventriloquism.' OOOooh!" I grunted and hissed through my teeth. "'Sleep' is always a classic." I clicked my teeth a few times and was ready to commit the sleep spell to memory until I read the description of the spell just above it.

"Charm Person. Spell applies to all two-legged, generally mammalian figures near to or less than man-size, excluding all monsters in the "Undead" class, but including Sprites, Pixies, blah-blah-blah," I narrowed my eyes and focused on the end of the script. "Creatures who fail to resist come completely under the influence of the Magic-User until the charm is dispelled or they break free. See also, dispelling magic."

I slowly blinked and traced my finger over the chart that followed, showing that creatures of average intelligence could attempt to break free once every two weeks, and stupider things were even worse off. I traced my tongue against my teeth in thought.

"Would that work against a wild animal, though?" I said aloud. I curled my lip and hummed. "Charm Person, so.."
A crash from somewhere nearby snapped me out of my musings. I sat holding my breath and looked at the door but saw nothing. Instead, I heard what sounded like someone talking to themselves. I scowled.

"That sounds like a person," I mentally declared before committing Charm Person to memory and creeping to the door. I poked my head out and carefully looked up and down the hall. The voice was coming from the left and around another corner. I swallowed hard and began creeping that way, my casting hand raised in a twisted claw.

My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. My lips were drawn back with trepidation, setting my face in an anxious snarl. Slowly, I tip-toed, until I saw yellow light fill the hall and corner. Immediately after that, it appeared.

"Easy money! Heh heh heh," the thing quietly cackled before it turned the corner and we got a proper look at each other.

A pony.

One of those ponies. With grey fur and teal hair, but still one of them. It also had a pair of bags hanging on its sides under its wings and a flickering metal lantern in its teeth. This last thing however was discarded as its jaw dropped and the lantern fell with a clatter.

"W-w-what the heck are YOU?!" She, cause I was pretty confident that was a girl's voice, cried. I set my brow and sprang forward a step with a guttural yawp.

I thrust my hands at her and unleashed my spell. The symbols laced together like a series of chain links and snapped out, ensnaring her limbs and head. She screamed and dropped to the floor, covering her eyes with her hooves. The chains rolled over her for a moment before vanishing.

I kept my hand raised but slowly leaned closer to see if it worked or not. After a moment, she peeked out from her hooves and stared at me.

"W-what did you do?" She blinked and slowly inspected herself. I frowned as she stood up and looked over her entire body before scowling and glaring at me. "What did you do?!"

"I.. Don't think she's charmed," I thought. Looking her over, still with my hand outstretched, it hit me.

-spell applies to all two-legged,-.

"Fuck you, Gary," I quietly huffed.

"Huh?" She exclaimed and recoiled.

"I have placed a curse upon you!" I roared, channeling my best curmudgeonly wizard voice. Her expression fell and her ears pressed against her skull.

"A c-curse?" Bingo. I took another step forward and clutched at the air, shaking my hand as I did.

"That's right! An evil curse that will-" She gasped and her wings snapped out.

"NO! Don't tell me! Please don't tell me it's a curse that'll turn my hooves into marshmallows!" She squealed, quivering as she stared at me in terror. I paused, hand still raised, and stared at her.

"EXACTLY THAT!" I hissed. Her expression fell and her pupils shrank before she started bawling.

"NO! ANYTHING but that!" She wailed, falling to the ground and covering her eyes with her hooves again. "I LOVE marshmallows! I won't be able to resist eating them! NO-ho-hooo..." She began sobbing in earnest and making me feel like an abject bastard.

"Aw, shit," I mentally groaned. My arm drooped as I scanned the corridor, thinking of what to say. I narrowed my eyes and stood up straight.

"Worry not, small horse!" I declared, causing her to sniffle and look up at me. "For my curse will only take effect if you disobey me!" Her ears twitched for a moment and she perked up slightly.

"Disobey you?" She murmured, sniffling again and gulping. "Well.. w-what do you want?" I sneered down at her.

"I dunno, I didn't think I'd get this far," I mentally murmured. Externally, however, I thrust my hand at her again, causing her to squeak and hug the floor tighter.

"I am attempting to reclaim the greater score of my lost eldritch power, stolen from me in days long since passed!" I bellowed. "You will assist me in my endeavors." She blinked and shivered, but said nothing. I gestured to the hallway.

"By coming out here alone, you have proven yourself a bold and resourceful creature! You will be an invaluable asset to me!" I raised an eyebrow and adopted an aloof posture, leaning away from her with my arms folded. "And the rewards for your aid shall be great!"

"Rewards?" She repeated, springing to her hooves with literal sparkles in her eyes. I blinked and slowly nodded.

"Yes, for I am nothing if not a generous overlord. To those deserving anyway," I hummed and looked her over, presenting another sneer. "So, what shall it be? Do you join me? Or spend the rest of your days fighting against the instinct to gnaw your own sugary hooves off?" She wilted at my enunciation and looked down at her hooves. She swallowed and slowly nodded.

"Okay, whatever you say," she replied with a sigh. I smiled as wickedly as I could manage. Based on her reaction and nervous smile, I must've done a damned good job.

"Excellent! This way, slave!" I turned and began leading her back the way I'd come, mentally scrambling to figure out what in God's name to do now.

Author's Note

Every spell used or mentioned so far is a legit D&D 0e spell and yes, Charm Person is exactly that cracked.

Chapter 3

I sat upon one of the thrones with the pony's bags on my lap. She sat just before me on the dias, looking up at me anxiously as I rifled through her bags.

"So, uh, what do I call you?" She nervously asked. I cast a glare at her before narrowing my eyes, causing her to shrink away and swallow.

"Victor," I replied. She blinked and sat up.

"Oh. Well-"

"Or Master Victor, if you know what's good for you," I added, still in my wizard voice. Her expression soured and she sighed grumpily. I returned my attention to her bags. They were mostly empty save for a half-full metal flask, a wrapped oat cake, and a little satchel of metal tools, including a well-used file, and a pair of thin hooked metal rods.

"What're these for?" I demanded, looking over her tools. She looked up and then jolted.

"Oh, you know," she laughed nervously. I raised an eyebrow and she wilted. "Breaking locks 'n stuff." I raised an eyebrow and hummed as I returned the tools to her pack.

"Tell me your name, servant," I demanded.

"Sneaky Salvage," she mumbled, looking off to the side. I managed to hold back a laugh.

"I," I cleared my throat and rubbed my face. "I see. And what were you doing here, Sneaky? Before I came along and gave you renewed and exemplary purpose, I mean."

"Tryin' to make money," she quietly replied, pawing at the ground as she did. "The princesses left a bunch of stuff here that nopony's ever grabbed. Valuable stuff. That's why I left so much space in my bags." I hummed and rubbed my chin.

"You in debt or something?" She screwed up her face and gave me an incredulous leer.

"No?" She scoffed. I shrugged.

"So, what do you need-"

"You serious?" She snorted, looking me up and down. "I dunno how weirdo evil magic monsters see things, but if you ask me you can never have too much money." I pursed my lips as she spoke.

"More money means less work, and if it's easy money that's even better," she added with a proud smirk. Then, she sighed and her expression drooped. "Like what this place was supposed to be." I hummed and nodded.

"Fair enough. But if this place is so easy, how do you know no one else hasn't looted it already?"

"Most ponies respect the princesses too much to plunder their old home," she explained with a shrug and nodded her head back towards the door. "Others are scared off by the traps that fill most of the halls here." I blanched and raised my eyebrows.

"Traps?"

"Yep! Every passage besides the main one I was trotting down is allegedly trapped," she replied and looked me up and down critically. "Except whatever tomb you crawled out of too, I guess. Where'd you say you came from again?"

"The woods," I hissed enigmatically, causing her to shiver. "And I took the main hall, too. So, I didn't notice any traps. Are any of them.. Deadly?" She squinted and tilted her head.

"Probably? Why, is that-" She blinked and then smiled sweetly before petting my leg. "Don't worry, Master! You just follow me if we explore more of this place!" She stood up and turned, presenting the side of her rear leg. On it was a tattoo of a stylized red eye with a coin in its pupil.

"I've got a talent for spotting stuff, so I'm great at spotting traps!" She declared, doing a spin before winking at me. "I won't let any of them kill you!" I smirked and leaned forward, pointing right at her nose.

"You better not, and to clarify for my curse's sake, that's an order," I replied. Her sweet expression melted immediately, and she stamped her hoof.

"Dang it! I hate you!"

"HA!" I barked and waved my hand. "And in any case, I'm more concerned about finding something to eat than filling my pockets." I held up and examined the cake she'd brought.

"Doesn't seem like you packed enough for two, so! First, we're going foraging. Since you're so good at spotting stuff, I'm sure we can find something." Sneaky let out a hearty groan and threw her head back.

"C'mon! I don't wanna work!"She desperately squealed. "There's probably something edible in the kitchens!" I frowned and looked up at the door.

"How long has this place been abandoned?" I asked. She recoiled and scrunched her muzzle before averting her eyes. That was kind of telling.

"Well," she stared off for a moment before perking up and raising a hoof. "Hey! The princesses use magic for everything! They might've preserved some stuff with their magic!" She gave a hopeful smile and brought her forehooves together in a pleading gesture. I hummed and eyed her critically before slowly nodding.

"Alright. We'll give that a shot," I replied causing her to sigh with relief. I rose from my seat and thrust my hand forward. "Lead the way!"

"Pitfall," Sneaky chirped, trotting along without a care. She skipped to the side and then carried on, and I crept after her, following her path exactly. Then she immediately skipped to the other side. "'Nother pitfall!"

I squawked and nearly stumbled into it before catching myself and hurling myself against the safe wall. I looked up and down the stone corridor she was leading me.

"Why are there so many-" I cried out as she kicked my legs out from under me. As soon as I hit the ground the wall I'd been leaning against swept up on a hinge, revealing a metal slide into darkness.

"Careful!" She chided with a wink as the wall slipped shut again. "That wall's a trap, too."

"Thank you," I growled through a forced smile.

"You're welcome," she replied before gasping. "But gee! You're sure having trouble keeping up with how tall and clumsy you are! Maybe you should consider crawling?"

I huffed and rolled to my hands and knees. "Fair. And maybe you should consider giving me more warning about all of these?" I glanced back over my shoulder. "And again, why are there so many? I thought princesses lived here?"

"Yep! That was like a thousand years ago, though," she explained as she continued leading and scanning the path ahead. "From what I hear, Celestia and her sister liked to prank each other way back when."

"'Prank' is definitely a word for it," I huffed as I began crawling after her before realization struck. "A thousand years?!" She jumped from my volume and cast a bewildered look my way.

"Y-yeah? What about it?"

I snarled and jabbed a finger at her. "A thousand years is a pretty damned long time for any kind of preservation." She blinked and then gave a bashful smile.

"True," she hesitantly began before shrugging. "But they're both still alive so their.. Old spells.. Might still be working?" Her smile brightened briefly but wilted in the face of my furious scowl. However, my own expression softened as I considered her words.

"Still alive?"

"Y-yeah?" She murmured in response, before casting a critical look my way. "Everypony knows they're immortal or something. Where'd you say you're-"

"THE WOODS!" I yelled and thrust my hand at her, causing her to cry out. "LEAD ON!"

"Okay!" She angrily squealed before stomping down the hall. I crawled after her, mulling that revelation over. Immortal rulers? What the heck was going on in this show? And as a wizard, could I get in on it?

Questions for later.

For now, I followed Sneaky's lead. It wasn't too long before we came upon a door that she pushed open, revealing a dark, dusty room. Sneaky pulled out her lantern and lit it, revealing a long stone table on which a ton of cooking supplies, like a cutting board and knives, as well as a cast iron stove, and wall-length empty shelves.

I scanned the room after rising to my full height and then scowled at Sneaky. She retorted with a nervous smile before blinking and looking past me.

"Ha! See? Told you!" She declared and pointed behind me. I turned and saw the top shelf just behind me had a shimmering glass case, inside of which sat some seemingly still-fresh carrots.

"Huh," I muttered before scowling and pointing at it. "Go grab 'em."

"Huh?" She grumbled. "Why?"

"I don't trust like that," I replied. She groaned before fluttering up to the shelf and grabbing the case. She hauled it to the table and set it and her lantern down, allowing me to get a look at it.

"Happy?" She groused. I frowned and looked over the case. It was shimmering just like the script in my book, which kind of hinted at it being magic. But what were the chances of this magic being another hilarious prank by the psycho sisters?

"Try one," I demanded. Sneaky blinked and rolled her eyes before popping the case open and grabbing a carrot. She bit into it and made a show of chewing it at me.

"Mm! Mm! MMmmm," she grumbled and swallowed. "Happy now? Cause I'll gladly eat 'em all myself." I frowned and slowly nodded as I took one myself.

"Acceptable," I declared. "Excellent work, Sneaky." I scanned the rest of the room and hummed.

"Water's still an issue," I mumbled. A heavy metallic thunk drew my attention to the table.

"I got water in my flask," Sneaky declared, sliding her flask to me. I hummed and carefully took a drink as she hopped passed me and made for the door. "I'm gonna see if I can find the little filly's room."

"Hurry back. See if you can find me something to brush my teeth with while you're at it," I said.

"Sure thing!" She chirped as she trotted out. I paused before realizing my mistake.

"And if you do find something, don't you dare do anything to it! That's an order!" I yelled after her, earning a roar of frustration in response. Humphing, I took a seat on the table, pulled my books from the back of my belt, and began idly munching my carrot.

Discord had mentioned when we parted that I should practice with my magic, but how exactly was I supposed to do that? I figured if my magic was ripped from these books, the answer probably lay within. Flipping through, I quickly found something that fit the bill.

"Experience points are awarded by blah-blah-blah, prime requisite, meh-meh-meh," I read aloud, tracing the lines with my finger. "Defeat monsters and obtain treasure. So, if I get money and kill shit, I'll get better magic, huh?"

Before I could give it more thought, Sneaky came bursting in, scaring the shit out of me, and slammed the door shut. She looked up at me with a crazed, desperate face. "It's Honeysuckle! She found me!"

"Who?" I stood and asked. Before she could answer the door swung open and a team of three ponies in golden armor flew in, dog-piling her.

"Got you!" One cried.

"Freeze!" Another demanded.

"Stop resisting!" The last added.

"I didn't do it!" Sneaky screamed.

I watched in stunned silence as they scrambled on the ground with Sneaky, managing to force a set of manacles on her forehooves. For her part, Sneaky managed to kick one of the guys, of which there were two, in the nose, sending him sprawling. This wasn't enough to save her and she was quickly pinned.

"You're finished, Sneaky!" The girl guard spat as she yanked her bags off.

"Victor! Help!" Sneaky screamed, snapping me out of my stupor and drawing the trio's attention to me.

"What the heck is that?" One asked.

"Some kind of monster!" The guy who'd been kicked gasped, still lying on his back.

"Lieutenant!" The girl cried, shooting a look back the way they'd come.

"Uh," I began before the sound of rattling metal cut me off. Turning to the door, I watched a unicorn pony enter. This one was white with poofy black hair that covered its eyes and was clothed in a coat of silver scales under a golden tunic, with a sheathed rapier hanging at its side.

"Honeysuckle," Sneaky hissed, struggling in vain against her captors. 'Honeysuckle' was focused solely on me. "Get her, Victor! Use your magic!" The three ponies gasped, while Honeysuckle just subtly tilted her head.

"It has magic! Lieutenant, be careful!" One cried. Honeysuckle hummed quietly and took a few steps towards me before standing with her sword side away from me. She looked me up and down and adopted a faint sneer.

"You'd better watch it!" I howled, raising my hands at uneven levels like a pair of claws. I held my books away from her, which caused her to momentarily glance at them. "You heard her! I wield power you cannot imagine." The three armored ponies fearfully squeaked. Honeysuckle remained stalwart. I grit my teeth and slowly drew one foot back, bracing to run.

"I'll blast the flesh right from your bones!" I hissed and crouched to point at her. "I will carry you along a whole new spectrum of pain, you dull-"

Shwing.

I shivered as little flecks of blood were spattered across her unmoving face. My eyes slowly drifted to the left, where her sword was outstretched, held up by a weird, faint bubble that was colored the same as the light emanating from her horn. Then, my eyes drifted back to the right, where my right arm was outstretched.

And missing its hand. And leaking a lot of blood.

I squeaked, dropped my books, and slowly dropped to my knees, clutching my stump.

"Wooo," I huffed and began hyperventilating. A single hoof step drew my attention forward to see her pointing her sword at my throat. I fell back and swallowed hard before gasping and mumbling. Then, I managed to find proper words and held up my good hand. "Choose peace?"

She shook her head with visible disgust before whipping her sword around and nailing me in the head with the pommel.

Chapter 4

I shot to a sitting position with a scream before leaning back on my hands and letting out another scream. I flopped over and clutched my right arm, looking at my twitching, freakishly pale hand which was currently sparking with pain.

"Hey, the goober's awake!" I snarled and looked up to see one of the ponies who grabbed Sneaky, the orange one specifically, smiling at me through a set of iron bars that went from wall to wall of my cell and sat about three inches off the floor. "Hi, Goober!"

"Whu?" I muttered, looking between him and my hand.

"Lieutenant Honeysuckle said we should stitch that back on and use some of our healing salve on it so you don't bleed to death," he replied as his two cohorts trotted into view. The other guy was a dark red, while the girl was a very light blue. Other than that and their voices, their armor made the three fairly identical.

"Oh, how nice of her," I grumbled, wincing as I noticed that I couldn't actually move my fingers or feel them. "Why can't I.."

"It got cut off, Goober. It'll take a month at least before it starts working right again," the girl explained, fixing me with a concerned look. "You got off pretty lucky with her, you know."

"What'd I do?" I groused.

"Aiding and abetting a criminal, for one," she replied. I threw my hands up.

"I literally just met her! How was I supposed to know?"

"And you threatened the Lieutenant with magic of an unknown, possibly illegal, nature," the red guy added, earning a nod from his comrades. I gulped and shifted my eyes left and right.

"I just thought it'd be funny to pretend to be a wizard for a little while!" I cried. "Is that a CRIME?"

"You threatened to blow up an officer!" The girl screamed. I stammered and gasped.

"I.. thought she was just pretending to be a guard!" I screamed back. "I thought we were all in on the joke!"

"Imbécile," a french sounding voice spat. I recoiled and turned to see Honeysuckle shaking her head again as she trotted in with Sneaky and.. Some kind of lean, jittery-looking dogman in tow by a pair of ropes. Sneaky had a muzzle locked on her and shot a desperate look my way. I glanced from her to Honeysuckle.

"You're French?" I grumbled. She paused and turned her head at me, but said nothing. I grunted and crawled to the bars and reached through in a pleading gesture. "Hey, listen-"

Her horn lit up, and I heard her sword gently click from its sheath. I scurried back from the bars with a nervous laugh.

"Okay, I know we got off on the wrong foot- Hoof!" I held up my hands, but she said nothing. "But you gotta believe me, this is all just a misunderstanding!" She stared at me through her hair for a hard minute before turning and pulling her captives along.

"What, you don't-"

"Non," she immediately declared.

"I don't speak French!"

"Imbécile."

"Oh, but I got that one," I hissed. She whipped around and slammed her hoof against the bars.

"Get this one as well. Be quiet, or the next thing I cut off will be much lower and far more precious," she declared with a subdued sneer. I shivered and scooted back from the bars. She withdrew from the bars as well and humphed. "Good boy. Behave until we can get you to Canterlot in a few days."

"Where-" I cut myself off and clenched my jaw with a wide frown. She actually smiled at me and snorted.

"It is the capital, where you shall be questioned about those illegible magic books and then given to the unicorns for study," she explained drawing a shiver from me. "You are quite the unique specimen. This is largely the only reason you are alive." I swallowed hard as she turned and tossed the rope she was leading Sneaky and the dogman(Oh my God, stealing that band name) with to one of the other ponies before trotting out of sight.

The other pony pulled the pair to two separate cells across from mine, where she removed the rope from around their necks. The dogman was perfectly amicable and just sat down once in his cell, but the second the rope was off her, Sneaky attempted to bolt only to be tackled by the other two guards.

After a very brief scuffle, she was thrown into her cell and the door was locked.

"Alrighty, we'll be back later with your dinner you three," the girl guard chirped as the three slipped out. There was a metallic clatter and then we were left in silence. I crawled to the bars and peeked as best I could down they came before turning to my prison mates. Sneaky shot me a hateful glare, while the dogman just stared at me with his beady yellow eyes.

"Hi there," I said with a wave. He waved back and I weakly smiled. "What's your name?"

"Nettle," he replied in a thick, rumbling voice. "Ponies arrest me because I beat rich pony's head and take his suitcase."

"Hi, Nettle," I greeted with a wave of my right hand, immediately regretting it. I massaged the point where it was reattached and inhaled sharply.

"Hope it snaps off!" Sneaky spat. I turned to her and she ground her teeth. "What the heck happened to your magic?!"

"I need my books for that," I grumbled, drawing an angry whine out of her. "Look, I'm sorry, alright?"

"Oh! You're sorry, are you?" She humphed. "If I hadn't bumped into you and you hadn't cursed me, I could've seen Honeysuckle's ambush coming!"

"I panicked!"

"MEH-MEH-MEEEEH!" She mocked before pacing in place and curling up on the floor. "Hope they vivisect you." I moaned and rubbed my stomach at the thought.

"What that?" Nettle asked.

"They cut him up while he's alive like Griffins do," Sneaky replied.

"Gross simplification, but not what I mean," he pointed into my cell. "That." I raised an eyebrow and turned to see my books piled on my cell's floor. I gasped and swept them up.

"What the hell?! I thought she said she took these?!" I squawked. Sneaky jumped to her hooves and at the bars of her cell.

"Do something!" She demanded with a squeak. I clicked my teeth and looked up at her.

"How long was I out?" She frowned and fixed me with another glare.

"Why's that matter?" She smirked and snorted. "What, can you only use your magic once per day?" She laughed aloud until she saw my face.

"I hate you so much," she moaned as she buried her face in her hooves.

"That very inconvenient," Nettle added.

"You're telling me," I murmured, scanning the book until I heard the door rattle open. I quickly slipped the books under me and sat with my hands folded.

"Dinner!" The girl guard called as she and the others came trotting in with a plate each. They slid the plates under the gaps of our bars and managed to fit a mug of water between the bars themselves. I was suddenly reminded of how little I'd eaten upon spotting the warm diced potatoes they offered. I quickly pulled my plate to me.

Or at least, I tried to, as I grabbed at it with my right hand and instead just limply dragged my hand across it, drawing a giggle from the girl.

"Need some help eating, Goober?" She asked sweetly. I frowned and grabbed the plate with my good hand.

"No, thank you," I replied, looking up at her as I collected and sipped my water. "But could you tell me your name? And maybe how long I was knocked out?"

She smiled and nodded. "I'm Snowpea, that's Turnip, and that's Incredible Violence."

"Hi!" Turnip, the orange one, greeted.

"Sir," Incredible Violence, the red guy, hummed.

"And you were out cold for a couple hours there," Snowpea continued. "We had enough time to haul you out to Ponyville as a matter of fact!"

"As well as recapturing the thief, who escaped during your transit, and bringing in this brigand," Violence added, nodding his head at the other prisoners. I hummed as I stuffed a few potato pieces into my mouth.

"Sho, mhat tim-"

"Ah-ah! No talking with your mouth full!" Snowpea chided.

"Mm," I grunted and swallowed. "Sorry. What time is it?"

"Much better," she replied with a nod. "It's going on six now." I rubbed my chin and glanced at Sneaky and Nettle, but before I could ask anything else, the door slammed open. Honeysuckle came stomping in and immediately drew her sword and leveled it at me through the bars.

"Where are they?" she spat.

"Huh?" I squeaked with my hands up as she hovered her sword up to my face, forcing me to lean back.

"Fils de pute!" She snarled. "The books, you dog! What have you done with them?!"

"Insensitive," Nettle grumbled.

"What are you talking about?" I quailed, which only drew another angry snarl out of her. "I've been locked in here and unconscious for hours!"

"Lieutenant?" Snowpea interjected, drawing the sword pony's glare her way.

"He's done something with them. The magic books," Honeysuckle spat, still with her sword dangerously close to my flesh. She began gently twisting it at me, drawing a nervous murmur out of me. Snowpea shared a look with her fellow guards before humming at the angry pony.

"I thought you said his magic came from the books? How could he-"

"I don't know!" Honeysuckle screamed, snapping back to me. "And he's going to explain!" She jabbed her sword at me causing me to fall onto my back.

"Lieutenant, maybe they just got stolen while we were tracking down Sneaky or the bandit?" Violence asked, causing her to frown. "Besides, if he had access to his tomes, wouldn't he have used them already?" She tilted her head up in thought and actually withdrew her sword for a moment, before baring her teeth and thrusting her sword at me again.

"Unless he can only invoke their power once per day, and is just waiting for dawn," she hissed. I croaked in shock.

"HOH," Sneaky barked.

"That silly," Nettle laughed.

"You hear that, Lieutenant? Even the diamond dog knows that's ridiculous!" Snowpea laughed. Honeysuckle inhaled through her nose and then partially blew her bangs out of the way, before locking a single hazel eye with mine. I shivered under her gaze, but after a moment her hair sagged into place again and she lowered her sword. I let out a sigh and relaxed as her sword drifted away.

Tink

Then blinked and looked over in horror to see she knocked over my mug with a flick of her sword, spilling my water all over the floor. I looked up at her aghast to see her wearing a smug smirk as she sheathed her sword.

"That wasn't very nice, Lieutenant," Snowpea murmured as her superior trotted past her.

"Nevermind. We must find those books. Come!" She barked. After a moment, and a shared look, the three marched out after her. As soon as the door slammed shut behind them, my eyes drifted to the dark, moist patch on my cell floor.

"Sword pony very scary," Nettle assessed.

"You have no idea," Sneaky replied. I humphed and pulled out my books.

"Don't worry. I've got something in mind for her."

"Breakfast!" Snowpea chirped as she and her cohorts came trotting in with plates. I glanced up at Nettle and Sneaky before standing up.

"Hey, Snowpea?"

"Yes, Goober?" She replied before gasping and dropping the plate balanced on her back. "Where did you..!"

I shrugged and leafed through my books. "Magic." She whimpered and whirled around as her cohorts looked on in terror.

"LIEUTENANT!" Snowpea screamed. After a moment, the door slammed open and Honeysuckle came stomping in, immediately casting a hateful glare my way and pausing when she saw what I was doing. I smirked at her.

"Enfoiré," she huffed and drew her sword as fast as lightning. My brain was faster for once, though.

"SLEEP!" I roared, thrusting my hand at the whole group. The runes galloped off my arm, stampeding forward like little sheep and then vanishing into their heads. Snowpea and her friends immediately dropped, but Honeysuckle let out a feral snarl and clenched her teeth so hard I heard them creak.

Her horn flickered and then dimmed, at which point her sword dropped, but she stayed upright. She began panting and hissing and stamping her hoof. I flinched and looked at Sneaky who wore a horrified expression. Returning my attention to the seething pony just outside my cell, I winced and swallowed before enacting my plan b.

"Go to sleep, go to sleep~," I sang, slowly creeping close to her. Miraculously, despite the look she shot me, her movements slowed and she began to droop. "Close your big bloodshot eyes~." She huffed and slowly slumped over. I smirked and crouched just at my bars.

"You're a dope, and you're a nut~. And I hope you don't wake up~," I added and then tilted my head to hear her softly snoring along with her subordinates.

"You did it!" Sneaky quietly cheered.

"How's that for magic?" I smirked and reached through the bars, managing to grab one of their belts and- "UH."

"What?" Sneaky asked. I scanned the group and then looked at her in dread.

"They don't have the keys on them." Sneaky blinked and her ear twitched, but she managed a big happy smile. She hummed happily and slowly sat down, rolling her head back and forth. "Sneaky?"

"Mhm?"

"You good?"

"Mhm!" She took a deep breath and her face contorted to an expression of pure rage. Just before she unleashed whatever vitriol she had planned, Nettle stepped forward.

"Scary sword pony asleep. We go without fear," he declared and then burrowed into the floor of his cell, vanishing from sight. Sneaky and I shared a look before I heard a scraping under the floor of my cell and Nettle suddenly burst through. He waved me in and then burrowed back down. As I stared in wonder, a similar scene occurred in Sneaky's cell. She was less bewildered and shot him a glare.

"Why didn't you do that before?!" She hissed, at which Nettle shrugged.

"Scary sword pony very attentive, not sure when she sleep. Hear her throughout night. Now, she very asleep," he retorted, scratching at his ear before hopping down the hole he'd made. After a moment more, he suddenly popped up through the floor between our cells. "We go."

He pulled himself out of his hole and went waddling away out the door. Sneaky and I stared at each other in stunned silence for a moment before she bolted down her tunnel and popped out, bolting for the door and making a show of leaping over and sticking her tongue out at Honeysuckle as she escaped.

I stood up, double-checked that I had all my books, and followed suit, crawling down the surprisingly smooth tunnel Nettle had made and then standing up at the exit, discovering it came to about my waist.

After hauling myself up, I looked down beside Honeysuckle and saw her fancy sword. With a smirk, I tucked my books in the back of my belt and scooped it up with my good hand before running for the door.

Immediately outside the jail hall, I found Sneaky and Nettle rifling through a set of chests alongside one wall beneath several racks of spears in a wide flat office. Nettle glanced up at me and pointed at the wall.

"Sword nice, but spear easy and good. Maybe better for wizard," he declared. Sneaky poked her head up from the chest she was half buried in.

"Sword?" She murmured before noticing the sword I'd taken. She gasped and then adopted a sharp grin. "Nice~, that outta fetch a real tidy price!"

"Really?" I replied, glancing down at the sword. "I was just being petty. How much you think it's worth?"

"It's an heirloom sword from one of those hoity-toity Canterlot families, so a couple of thousand bits, easy!" She declared, at which I whistled.

"Wow. I don't know how much a 'bit' is, but that's-" I blinked and scanned the room, which was now flashing all sorts of colors.

"Wizard scary, too," Nettle grumbled, drawing my attention to the pair, both of whom were looking back at me in shock.

"What?" I asked as the flashing subsided.

"Why were your eyes doing that?" Sneaky murmured. I furrowed my brow and looked around.

"So, that wasn't just me, huh?" I quietly asked. I continued to just scan the air for a moment when realization hit. My eyes darted to the sword which Sneaky had just appraised as being pretty damned valuable, which reminded me of the last thing I read in my book before we were captured. Setting it down, I pulled out my book and searched for my list of spells. I found the sleep spell again and tried to memorize it. After just a moment, I saw the runes lock in place around my hand as normal, at which I beamed.

"Victor?" Sneaky called and my eyes snapped up to her.

"Two a day, bitch," I declared with a sinister smirk. She recoiled with a look of cold fury, while Nettle just shook his head.

"'Scuse you?" She demanded in a tone that caused me to wilt.

"N-no, I mean, uh.."

Crack

"Huh?" The gardener pony peeped, looking up and whipping his head around, searching for the source of the noise. He frowned and scratched his head under his flat cap before snorting and continuing to water the flowers around the ugly statue housing the perfectly sealed-away Spirit of Chaos.

That is until, by chance, he glanced up at the statue and noticed the thin, but still noticeable crack forming up the statue's right leg, the sight of which made him set his watering can down with a frown.

"Whuh-oh."

Chapter 5

I licked the inside of my freshly cleaned teeth and sighed in relief. Among the loot my pals found in the jail, we'd plundered some spare and unused military kit, including some extra bags we'd loaded with food, coins, and fresh toiletries, like my shiny new toothbrush. Of course, Sneaky was more focused on valuables, and Nettle had an eye for tools of violence, but between the three of us, we managed to pack a decent bit of supplies for our travels.

Speaking of.

"Where the hell should we even go?" I asked as I adjusted the packs hanging on my left shoulder. I glanced toward the town we were carefully skirting the edge of. Despite our efforts, a few of the local ponies were casting looks our way.

"Anywhere but here. Honeysuckle'll be awake soon and she'll be combing this whole place!" Sneaky replied. "She'll probably be sending word to Canterlot, too." Nettle grunted and pointed ahead.

"I know place, maybe one week away on road," he declared, picking up the pace slightly to begin leading us. "Maybe not most ideal for pony and wizard, but at least that mean ponies might not think to look there." I nodded and followed along, but Sneaky let out a groan.

"Please tell me it's not a cave," she pleaded.

"No. Low-cost hotel," Nettle replied, at which she perked up.

"Oh! That's not so bad." Nettle smiled for the first time since we'd met.

"You say because you not know," he chortled, which caused Sneaky to wilt. "Cave maybe better. We see how you feel later." I hummed at his words before noticing the suitcase he was carrying. In addition to the stack of spears he collected, he insisted on grabbing the case.

"So, what's in the suitcase?" I asked, drawing his attention briefly my way.

"Not know. Haven't opened."

"So, why do you want it so bad? You robbed a noble for it, didn't you?"

"Just rich pony, not very noble," he grunted before casting a critical eye towards the town. "But realize there not much difference in big pony cities. Only steal suitcase to punish rich pony."

"Punish him?" I murmured, at which he growled.

"Rich pony laugh at me, then tell bodyguards to attack. I smash them then beat his head. Take suitcase to punish further."

"Makes sense. But damn, he really just tried to have you assaulted for no reason?" I huffed. Sneaky snorted and shook her head at my question.

"That tracks for any noble pony, Victor," she declared with a sour frown. "A lot of them can get away with all kinds of garbage, cause a lot of them run things on the princesses' behalf all across Equestria since they can't be everywhere at once."

"Man, and I thought this place was just a cuddly kid's cartoon," I muttered, glancing towards the town as we passed onto a main road heading south.

"What?" Sneaky asked. I glanced down at my pale, recently-severed hand instead of answering.

"Then again, guess it wasn't very cuddly or kid-friendly for that psycho to slice off my squeezing hand, huh?" I sighed and adjusted my bags again. "Well, we live and learn." I grunted as I walked into Nettle, who had stopped marching suddenly.

"Hey! You're those three creatures Ms. Honeysuckle arrested!" A she-pony.. Mare! That was the word. A mare just ahead on the road spat. Nettle, Sneaky, and I shared a look before I cleared my throat and offered her a smile.

"We, uh, made parole," I explained.

"What's parole?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Yeah, and why do you have all that stuff?" Another more masculine voice added. I blinked and looked around to realize we were gathering a small audience of nervous and or pissed off looking little ponies. Turning to my cohorts, who gave me an equally bewildered pair of looks, I sighed.

"Fucking, sleep," I groused as I hurled my spell at the small crowd.

The doors to the throne room swept open, revealing the anxious faces of Twilight Sparkle and company. The unicorn galloped in ahead of her friends to the center of the room where her mentor was waiting.

"Thank you all for returning," Celestia greeted with a slight bow of her head as the group came to stand before her. "I know you were preparing to return home, so I offer my apologies for immediately calling upon your aid once again."

"Aw, it ain't nothin'. Least you caught us before we was on board the train!" Applejack replied with a chuckle before shaking her head. "But, shoot, we just sealed that varmint Discord a few days ago! How's he already breaking free?" The rest of the mares nodded at her question, looking expectantly at the princess.

"Indeed you did," Celestia replied with a hearty, frustrated sigh before adopting a severe expression. "I fear that Discord, just before you imprisoned him, summoned an Avatar of Chaos." The mares shared a look while Twilight recoiled.

"A what?" She muttered. "I've never heard of such a thing." Celestia's horn lit up and a small set of scrolls materialized beside her.

"Discord has summoned a being and granted them a small boon in exchange for linking himself to them. As they grow in power, so too will the bonds keeping him sealed weaken," she explained, unfurling the scrolls and handing them to Twilight after looking them over. "Had I not received this report from Lieutenant Honeysuckle in Ponyville, I might have only suspected such a development. These, however, all but confirm it in my mind." Twilight took the scrolls in her magic and began to read them aloud.

Incident report addendum S.S 105. C

Peculiar speaking biped discovered in the company of wanted thief Sneaky Salvage during initial arrest. Believe to be sapient subspecies of great ape. Officer unequipped to make accurate assessment.

Proclaimed ability to use magic, but managed to incapacitate before biped could demonstrate in a manner suggested to be violent. Additionally, seven thin books were in its possession containing strange arcane symbols officer was unable to translate. Suspect that books are a magical device the biped managed to activate.

Relocating biped to Ponyville criminal holding. Requesting transport to Headquarters for questioning and study.

Lt. H.

Incident report addendum S.S 105. D

Books confiscated from unidentified biped mislocated. Officer suspected biped, but suspicion deemed insubstantial after internal discussion with unit.

Theft likely, but no signs of infiltration discovered. Biped remains in custody and pacified. Do not believe this to be genuine, but suspicion deemed insubstantial after internal discussion with unit.

Requesting Thaumaturgic Recon specialist for further investigation of missing items.

Lt. H.

Incident report addendum S.S 105. E

Biped and cohort Sneaky Salvage at large.

Biped discovered to be in possession of missing items mentioned in S.S 105. D and incapacitated unit with unknown spell. Several articles removed from barracks and jail. Itemized list included. All articles of class B or lower with one exception of a fleeting, yet personal value to Officer.

Biped and thief escaped by main Ponyville road, heading south according to witness reports. Biped utilized similar spell to incapacitate several citizens. Individuals were otherwise unharmed. Testimonies collected prior to Report.

Requesting permission to pursue escaped biped and thief. Requesting permission to enact lethal force on biped per Rare and Dangerous Creatures protocol DCCA 19-92-M.

Lt. H.

Upon finishing, Twilight brought a hoof to her chin in thought. "An unidentified bipedal creature capable of magic?" She murmured with wonder. Celestia nodded and turned to face the rest of the group.

"Indeed. Luckily, we seem to have caught this avatar while they are still weak. If you can apprehend them, we may be able to remove the link they share with Discord," she declared with a firm, solemn nod.

"Why don't we just blast them with the Elements?" Rainbow tilted her head and asked. Celestia hummed in response.

"I suspect this creature is not entirely evil, but simply misguided or was perhaps misled by Discord. It would be a shame to use the Elements against them without confirming their ill intent," she declared but then wore a far more severe and critical expression. "However, I will trust that to your discretion. I do not deny the likelihood that this creature agreed to Discord's pact due to malice." The girls all recoiled at her expression, but after sharing a look, all smiled with confidence.

"You can count on us, Princess!" Twilight declared, puffing her chest out, the sight of which drew a smile from her mentor.

"Thank you all. Lieutenant Honeysuckle will be in Canterlot by day's end to make a full report visit and her cousin, Duke Blueleaf. She is not yet aware of the true nature of this creature," Celestia added, pacing before the group. "She and her squad will be pursuing the escaped thief, who they believe is still in the creature's company. Thus, it could be to your benefit to all travel together. Again, I shall leave this to your discretion."

Honeysuckle's eyes were locked on the painting hung above the unlit fireplace within the dim, wood-paneled lounge. It presented a scene of a white earth pony stallion with a black mane and beard leading a plucky army of ponies across the Crystal Mountains amid a terrible snowstorm that said stallion was weathering with heroic resolution in his eyes.

"Impressive, is it not? I only just had it commissioned," came a voice that drew her attention to the door where Duke Blueleaf stood leering with pride at his portrait and a bandage wrapping his scalp.

"It is very well painted. Just a shame it only reflects fantasy," Honeysuckle replied.

"Fantasy! The nerve," he snorted, trotting up beside her and thrusting a hoof at the portrait. "This perfectly encapsulates my courage, my dynamism, my-"

"Lack of any experience with the military?" Honeysuckle interjected, drawing a choking stammer from the duke. "As I recall, you flunked all your classes at the academy." The blustering stallion whipped his head around to glare at her, but she maintained her even expression. After a moment, the duke's face softened, though still with a hint of contempt.

"I hope you didn't come all the way here just to insult me," he declared, looking her up and down. "You find my bag?"

"Oui," she replied, at which the duke smiled bitterly, scanning the dark room.

"So, where-"

"It was stolen again. By the same brigand, I believe," she interjected, again drawing a series of startled exclamations from the duke. "If you hadn't demanded I not report the fact you were robbed, and that I deliver it personally and secretly, I could have had a courier deliver it." At that, the duke gnashed his teeth with a hiss.

"Absolutely not! Those peasants in the guard might've gone through my private things!" He shrieked before flinching from his volume and glancing over his shoulder at the door. Honeysuckle rolled her eyes in response.

"Bien sûr. Well, lucky for you, I believe the brigand is traveling in the company of another quarry of mine. So, I might be able to secure your secret bag for you." The duke smiled warmly and let out a sigh.

"Meno male! You had me worried there-"

"Unfortunately, I will be in the company of Twilight Sparkle and her associates." And with that, all warmth vanished from his face.

"Cazzo! WHY?!" He roared.

"They are being sent after an ape that was in the company of Sneaky Salvage. I am not certain why, as I believe I could apprehend her and her ape on my own now that I-"

"Then tell the princess that! Che cazzo stai a fa?" He spat with an annoyed and desperate shake of his head. Honeysuckle adopted an angry sneer in response.

"While I have the option to pursue them with only my unit, I am thinking that if the princess believes the situation warrants the deployment of the Elements of Harmony, then I am in no position to argue," she huffed. "I have no interest in compromising national security to do you another favor."

"Che palle," Blueleaf groaned, biting his hoof and scanning the wall before turning back to his cousin. "C'mon, can't you just-" He paused and tilted his head one way, then the other, getting a look at both of Honeysuckle's sides. She realized what he was doing and immediately recoiled with a gulp as his eyes locked on her face.

"Where is it?" He asked with a near imperceptible hint of mirth. She recognized it immediately, however, and grimaced in response. He smiled. "You lost it?"

"Non, it was stolen!" She desperately retorted, stamping her hoof. "I did not-"

"Well! Non ti preoccupare, dear Cousin! I know how important it is to keep secrets!" Blueleaf chuckled, taking a few steps forward to lean into her face with a smug grin. "Which is why I'm going to keep this a secret from your father." Honeysuckle grimaced again with a barely contained whine.

"And uh, in exchange, I'm sure you can, ah, repay in kind?" He gave an expectant, smirking leer. Honeysuckle snarled her lip for a moment or two before looking off to the side.

"Bien sûr."

"Aha! Meraviglioso," the duke chirped with a pleased chortle as he turned and strode out of the room. Left alone, Honeysuckle bared her teeth in a frustrated sneer before uttering a quiet sigh and staring up at the painting on the wall.

Chapter 6

I hate camping.

Across the four days of our trek, I found myself continually reminded of that fact. Now, as I sat upon a hollowed-out stump I was lucky enough to find after last night's hastily prepared giant fuck-off alligator monster failed to agree with me, I was reminded of that fact again.

"Oh, you not worry wizard! I smell meat! No smell bad!" I quietly grumbled, trying to take my mind off the cramping in my gut. I folded over and rested on my knees with a groan. Whatever this place was Nettle was leading us to, at least it was an actual hotel. With beds, and walls, and properly cooked food. And proper plumbing.

Reaching down between my feet, I grabbed one of my books. It hadn't been there a moment ago, but it became apparent during our journey that Discord had done me the courtesy of binding the books to me. Now, whenever they were out of sight, they simply popped up right where I could reach them. That was especially convenient at that moment since it gave me something to read.

"Alrighty, let's see," I murmured. Besides digging around for more information on how magic works for me, I'd also peeked at how much cash I'd need to improve said magic as well as how sharp an improvement I'd find.

Honeysuckle's heirloom sword must've cleared two-and-a-half grand since twenty-five hundred was the amount of 'gold' I'd needed to rank up. Luckily, bits counted, but I had to get ahold of a grand total of five thousand to proceed, at which point I could handle three first-tier spells and finally access the second-tier. But only one per day.

Maybe the angry French horse had a few more swords I could swipe? Thoughts for later.

For now, with those numbers safely in mind, I began scanning the spells I would take for today. Magic Missile was an immediate choice after last night and our encounter with the gator monster that wound up becoming dinner. While Nettle's spears only managed to scratch it, my magic was able to blow most of its skull off, allowing him to stab it in the brain.

So yeah, instant high-impact exploding death spell is going right on the list. But what to take for number two? Charm Person was all but useless since we'd only seen wild animals or talking four-legged folk.

Protection from Evil sounded tempting as it claimed to provide a shield against attacks from evil creatures and enchanted things. But the exact definition for 'enchanted' being unclear and the fact we hadn't really met anyone 'evil' sort of undercut it.

Read Magic, Read Languages, and Ventriloquism could suck my dick. Sleep was a friend I trusted with my life. Detect Magic wasn't very useful on the road, and the same for Hold Portal, which should be called 'Lock Door.'

That just left Light and Shield. The former creates light, who'd'a thunk? The latter put up a barrier around me. How sturdy it was, I didn't know, but it specified that it was pretty solid protection against getting shot. I clicked my teeth as I mulled it over. How likely was I to get shot out here? That thought caused me to glance around the woodland I was sitting in, which instilled in me a deep-seated feeling of vulnerability. I gulped and quickly memorized the spell before finishing up my business. Luckily, we'd stolen toilet paper from the guards back in Ponytown, so I wasn't stuck with the nightmare scenario of using leaves, but that did raise another question in my mind.

I glanced down at my books as I tightened my belt. If I tore out pages from these, would they restore themselves? If they were burned or otherwise destroyed, would they still pop up? There was only one way to know, and that was a path I wouldn't walk willingly.

So, with a grunt of mild discomfort from the continued cramping in my stomach, I slipped my books into my belt and returned to our camp. Passing through the brush, I spied the little clearing around the stone bridge we'd camped beside. The hunk of mostly charred gator meat lay right where we'd left it beside our unlit fire, with some bites gnawed out of it. The dogman culprit was currently taking a dip in the narrow river that ran under the bridge.

Sneaky meanwhile was lounging on her bedroll, pigging out on a crate of apples that I don't recall us ever bringing with us. She noticed me as I approached and waved before scowling and scooting the box closer to herself. I chuckled tossed my books onto my bedroll and picked up my soap.

"My stomach's bugging me too much, anyhow," I declared to her before approaching the river. "Where'd you get those, though?" She swallowed her mouthful with a hum.

"A wagon came by, so I distracted them with small talk while Nettle swiped 'em," she chirped. I laughed aloud and began washing my hands.

"Can't help but break the law, huh?"

"Said the big ugly slaver to the cute little pony," she retorted with a humph. I frowned and glanced back at her before shrugging.

"Yeah, fair enough," I replied. As I carefully cleaned my hands, a process made challenging by my healing hand like so many other tasks, Nettle erupted out of the water. He stood up straight as a statue and strode out a few feet from me before taking a breath and shaking his whole body.

"Watch it!" Sneaky cried, covering her eyes with a hoof and her apples with a wing. The diamond dog sighed and scratched his fur with a nod.

"We make good time. Be at hotel in day and a half, I think," he hummed as he ambled up to the meat and ripped a chunk out of it. I nodded as I shook my hands dry and laid on my bedroll. "What wizard do to ponies anyway?" I tilted my head to look at him as he gnawed his food.

"Guilty by association," I explained at which Sneaky stuck her tongue out at me.

"And how you two meet?" He pressed, sitting down and looking between us. I glanced at Sneaky who let out an annoyed huff.

"Well, I was using Discord's chaos as a cover to make some easy money," she explained, biting another apple. "By the time the Elements of Harmony blasted him, I already had a pretty decent stash hidden, and decided to try looting the Castle of Two Sisters." She scowled at me and hucked her half-eaten apple at me, which smacked my shirt harmlessly.

"Then, I bumped into him and he placed a curse on me to make me do what he says," she added with a growl. I smiled at her as Nettle nodded.

"Chaos spirit have something to do with me, too," he explained, jabbing his thumb at the suitcase he stole. "I was hunting and fell into hole above me. Dropped in front of rich pony's house. He find me and, well, you know rest."

"Guess that makes three," I replied, drawing their attention to me. I shrugged. "Discord's the whole reason I'm here in the first place."

"Oh, of course he had something to do with me find you," Sneaky groused with a roll of her eyes. She let out a miserable sigh. "And I was so sure I'd avoided drawing his attention, too."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better the situation he dropped me into wasn't ideal for me either," I explained, rolling to lie on my back.

"Right, you mentioned needing to recover your lost power," Sneaky muttered. I blinked and glanced at her.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Not good to lie. We relying on each other, not lying on each other," Nettle said firmly. I stared at him blankly and stammered, drawing a shrug from him. "Things smell different when lying or scared. You should tell truth. What Discord do to you?" I blanched and shifted my attention between him and Sneaky, who was glaring intently at me. Finally, I sighed.

"He, uh, summoned me to this planet and gave me my magic," I explained, lying on my back again. "He just didn't tell me exactly how it worked and then just ditched me in the middle of the woods." Nettle hummed with a nod, but Sneaky shot to her hooves.

"What?! So that whole spiel about 'recovering your lost power' was a load of horse-apples?!" She cried, emphasizing her words with a shitty impression of me. I shrugged in response, causing her to groan and flop over. "What'd I do to deserve this?"

"Stealing," Nettle hummed.

"Shut up," she grumbled.

"So, what you think?" Nettle asked with a subdued laugh. I wore a wide frown as I scanned the structure before us, while Sneaky stood with her jaw hanging and a quiet croaking noise in place of a response.

The hotel was a sight to behold for a world like ponyland. It was entirely one level and was shaped like an L. The space between us and the building seemed to have been cleared of grass, paved over with stones, and then let to overgrow. The beige walls were chipping, and I could spy the rooms along the arm of the building, but all the windows were boarded up, and there was trash everywhere.

As well as-

"Is that a skeleton?" Sneaky squeaked as she scurried and hid behind my leg. Sure enough, in the middle of the paved space was a skeleton of some kind of horned thing. A minotaur maybe? Don't know if those exist, but it certainly fit the bill. I hummed and tapped Nettle on the shoulder.

"So, about that cave?" I asked with a hopeful smile, at which he just laughed and waved his paw.

"Not worry. Minotaur get stabbed trying to rob hotel. We safe here," he explained before taping his chin. "I think." He shrugged and began waddling towards one of the doors at the end of the building's arm, over which there was a sign reading 'Reception.' I took a deep, cleansing breath before following him, and Sneaky softly sobbed before trotting after me.

The door to the reception room slid open, revealing a wide booth with a dead potted plant at its corner, and a polished tile floor that circled the booth to another room. Standing signs pointed to both paths leading to the dining area. The booth itself had a rack of keys on its back wall, as well as an equal number of brass funnels with pipes that seemingly stretched to the floor. On the booth's counter was a rusty call bell, a stack of menus, and a whiteboard with a grid pattern drawn on it.

On the other side of the counter, reading a book while reclining in a chair, was a normal pony with a mottled green coat and a yellowish-orange mane that was kept in a ponytail. The sight of a pony wearing such a hairdo was momentarily perplexing, but I elected to push my questions aside and just tapped the bell.

"Heh," the pony replied before turning the page of his book. I raised an eyebrow as his focus remained on what he was reading. I glanced back at my companions before ringing the bell again, twice in fact. "Oh-hoh! That's silly."

I frowned as he continued to read. Glancing back at my companions again, Sneaky was just as bewildered as me, but Nettle wore a knowing smile. I scowled and began hammering the bell, at which the pony just flicked his ear and turned another page.

"HEY!" Sneaky suddenly screamed, causing him to yelp and flop out of his chair. He shot back up and clambered against the counter with a glare.

"Hey yourself! Don't sneak up on me like that!" He spat at which Sneaky's jaw dropped and I gasped in exasperation.

"I rang the bell!" I retorted. He blinked and looked at the bell with wonder.

"Oh, that's what that was! Phew!" He chuckled and shook his head. "I thought my tinnitus was acting up!" I flinched and glanced back at Nettle as the pony composed himself.

"Anyhoo, welcome to Misery! Where we love company!" He chirped, stamping his hoof against the counter. "What can I do to you?" I shook my head and sighed.

"Alright, well," then realization struck. "Do to?"

"Yeah, I've been encouraged by my legal advisors that the phrase 'do for' implies service, which implies a positive exchange from the business to the guest," he explained with a solemn nod. "Which isn't always true at Misery, you see."
"What do you mean by that?" I choked out and raised my eyebrows. "Is there something wrong with-"

"Not at all! We're perfectly safe here in reception," he chuckled, raising one hoof and whispering to me. "It's the rooms that wig me out. Especially number twenty-eight. Oh! And the laundry situation." I stood gobsmacked, so Sneaky gulped and peeped up.

"What's wrong with twenty-eight?" She asked. The pony grimaced.

"Uh, well, for starters, we never built a room twenty-eight," he explained, turning and pointing at the funnels on the wall. "But I get calls from the guy in twenty-eight every night at midnight complaining about the gnawing, the burning, and the dripping." Sneaky squeaked a series of laughs that slowly drifted into sobs as she curled up on the floor. I took a breath and shook my head in a slight daze.

"What's the laundry situation?" I murmured. He hummed with a nod.

"Some cultist weirdos have occupied the laundry pool. So, I have to recommend you not wash your clothes down there." I drummed the counter with my fingers, glanced down at the quietly weeping Sneaky, and then up at Nettle.

"Least guards not come here," he offered.

"Aha! Another guest nowhere to turn due to legal trouble?" The desk pony exclaimed, drawing my attention back to him. "Yeah, we get that a lot. Exclusively, in fact." I fixed him with a weary glare before shaking my head.

"Can we get a room? A clean one?" I asked. Sneaky moaned and beat my leg weakly, causing me to nod. "And unhaunted?" The desk pony perked up.

"Sure thing!" He reached over, grabbed a key from the wall, and slapped it on the counter before pointing at the funnels again. "In your room, you'll find a funnel like those which you can use to call us anytime for any concerns you might have!"

"Awesome," I muttered as I grabbed our key, before noticing a critical detail. "It's not labeled?" He blinked and gasped.

"Oh yeah! Security measure," he chuckled, turning to look at the rest of the keys. "That way if we ever get robbed again, the crook won't know which key goes where!"

He hummed and studied the wall as I removed my glasses and rubbed my eyes. "Got it! You're in number five!" He whirled around and tapped the counter. "You should be able to find it easy! Just follow the doors till you come to one with a feeling of looming dread!" I fixed him with another stare as he paused and rubbed his chin.

"Or was it 'smell like moldy bread?'" He hummed before shrugging. "I don't remember! Folks can be so panicky when they leave complaints." My glare remained strong before I shook my head and turned to collect Sneaky, who went limp as I scooped her up.

"Are we gonna die?" She murmured as I slung her gently on my shoulder.

"Nah, I think we're safe," I grumbled, following after Nettle who was already through the door. "Though, I think I preferred having Honeysuckle threatening to stab me to death."

"Oh, you folks been in mortal danger?" The counter pony asked. I stopped and turned to shrug at him.

"Yeah, more or less."

"Oh-hoh! I know the feeling," he chuckled with a shake of his head. "Let me tell you! Just yesterday? I had to clean the public bathroom." My lip twitched as I stared at him.

"You fucking with me?" I demanded. He smiled and laughed again.

"Yeah, you got me," he shook his head. "Of course I didn't clean that place. I'm not that bold." I felt an increasingly sour glare form.

"I feel like you're making light of the peril we're in."

"Ah, so you have seen the public bathroom?"

"We're heading to our room now."

"Go ahead! I won't stop you," he gasped and stamped on the counter. "Ah! And before you ask, that does not constitute an act of negligent bodily harm. Already checked."

Author's Note

So, the full list of spells Vic could be taking for anyone who missed it and cares and doesn't have the dnd 0 spell lists handy.

Protection from Evil
Detect Magic
Read Magic
Read Languages
Ventriloquism
Hold Portal
Light
Shield
Magic Missile
Charm Person
Sleep

Chapter 7

Two beds, plenty of privacy from the outside, and a functioning shower! Granted, said shower made a noise like a squealing pig when we first turned it on, but after the initial blast of black water, it was peachy! All in all, our room was way better than expected, though I lacked Nettle's faith in how clean the beds were and elected to just toss my bedroll atop one of the two. And so there we were, for the first time in about a week sleeping in proper shelter.

At least two of us were. Sneaky was already pissed about only having two beds, but the sudden impact of a pair of hooves into my stomach told me something else was amiss. My eyes shot open to find her an inch from my face with wide eyes and her ears pressed back.

"There's. Somepony. Out. Side," she quietly hissed with a desperate squeak, clenching her teeth and looking anxiously at the door. I blinked and glanced over at the door, listening for a moment. Sure enough, whispering was coming from just outside that immediately jolted me fully awake.

I sat up, grabbed my glasses from the table between the beds, and reached over to wake Nettle.

"They not trying to break in," he whispered, waving his paw over his shoulder at me. "Hear them out there for long while."
"But are they doing?" I hissed back, glancing back over my shoulder.

"How should I know? They being very quiet. I am very tired." I frowned and carefully stood up before creeping to the door and pressing my ear to it.

"How should I know?" I heard someone quietly hiss. "Snippy left his post as soon as he saw the guy!"

"Maybe we can break into reception and see which keys are missing?" Another asked just as quietly.

"Are you kidding? Have you seen the skeleton?" The first retorted. "Even Orgnar is skittish about causing trouble here."

"The High Priest did say this place had lots of unstable energies," the second added after a moment. "So, what do we do?"

"Until we can confirm if the Avatar is here, we need to keep waiting for that report from Canterlot," the first replied with a hum. "So, I don't see why we can't just wait and watch for our potential Avatar while we're at it." There was a stifled clack like a hoof stomping the ground.

"That's what I was saying! Why didn't you stick up for me with Orgnar?" The second voice demanded as both began to trail off, as though they were leaving.

"Cause I knew he'd keep throwing a fit unless we had a solid reason to keep hiding by the laundry pool," the first explained just before both were out of earshot. I sighed in relief as they departed and returned to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Sounds like it was those cultic weirdos the receptionist mentioned," I explained, which caused Sneaky to whimper.

"What the heck did they want?" She asked, at which I shrugged.

"Heard them mention something about an 'avatar' I think," I replied laying back on the bed with my arms folded. "Dunno if they were even looking for us specifically." I grunted in shock as she slammed her hooves into me again with another panicked look.

"What do we do if they are looking for us?" She demanded. "We need to get out of here!" I blinked and flicked her on the nose, and she scuttled off me with an annoyed squawk.

"Bad idea," Nettle added with a sigh. "We leave walls, they can attack from anywhere. We safe here, more or less."

"So what do we do?!" Sneaky cried, rubbing her nose and glaring at Nettle.

"I 'unno, but if you keep screaming and keep me awake, I beat your head," he replied plainly. Sneaky wilted and gulped before looking at me. I shrugged and pulled myself back onto my bedroll.

"He has a point about safety, at least. If nothing else, they've only got one way in to get us," I said, replacing my glasses on the night table. "We can plan for this in the morning. I'll be able to grab spells for whatever we decide to do, too." I pulled part of my bedroll back over myself and draped my arm over my eyes. After a few moments, I heard Sneaky sigh before the bed shook slightly as she curled up to go back to sleep.

Morning had come at last, and despite the apparent danger we might've been in, I had managed to sleep through the night. Despite her protests, Sneaky carefully peeked through the door to see if we were being watched. After just a moment, she slammed the door shut and zipped under the bed I was sitting on.

"Nopony's out there!" She squeaked. I winced as she punched my ankle. "Now, think of something!" I grunted and folded my bruised leg up under myself before looking up at Nettle, who was inspecting the points of his spears.

"What magic you have?" He asked. "Not sure if they after us, but best prepare for worst." I hummed and flipped open my book.

"Appropriate to this situation? Let's see," I murmured. "The missile spell I blasted that gator with is good. Uh, Protection from Evil, maybe?"

"What's that do?" Sneaky asked, creeping out to look up at me.

"Makes a magic circle around me that protects from enchanted creatures and evil things and magic," I explained, rubbing my chin with the heel of my bad hand as I scanned the other options. Sneaky rolled to her hooves and reared up on my knees with a desperate smile.

"They not here and maybe not evil," Nettle retorted, drawing an angry leer from her. He leveled his spear and inspected its shaft. "Missile only shoot once, and we not know how many out there." I grunted with a sigh.

"That's true. You think the receptionist might know how many there are?" I asked, looking back at the door.

"Maybe. You want to ask?" Nettle replied with a stern, even look. I met his eyes, then glanced down at Sneaky, who wilted and darted back under the bed.

"Well, it's better than sitting here blind, I guess. Either of you want-"

"Good luck," Nettle replied immediately, shoving his spear into my hand before rolling off the bed to grab another one. I blinked before looking down at the teal-colored tail sticking out from under the bed.

"What about you?" I asked before yelping as she firmly kicked my heel. Rising to my feet with a skip to avoid a second jab, I grumbled and stumbled towards the door. "Fine, but if I die, I order you to mourn me for the rest of your life."

"Hate you," she hissed, at which Nettle chuckled quietly. I took a breath and propped my spear against my chest as I carefully pulled the door open. Scanning the lot and finding nothing, I quickly exited the room and shut the door. Swallowing, I leveled my spear as best I could and began creeping towards reception, eyes darting around and skyward as I moved.

As I neared my destination, I spied the sign pointing toward the back of the building through a narrow hall. Down that way was the path leading to the laundry pool. I pressed against the side of the passage and slowly peeked around the corner. I could see some distance away a fenced-in area near the tree line with a gate hanging wide open. The fence was especially tall, so I couldn't see anything it hid.

Seeing no movement, and taking a few breaths, I braced and then dashed for the door to reception which I threw open with my shoulder before diving to the side. I laid on my back with my spear aimed at the door for a moment or two, before slowly sitting up and peeking out the door.

Still nothing.

I let out a hearty sigh and approached the reception desk, only to find it vacant. Frowning, I looked up when I heard humming coming from around the corner where the dining area was. Making my way back, I found the reception pony humming to himself while he swept with a heavily frayed broom. As opposed to our first meeting, he noticed me quickly.

"Hey! You're not here for breakfast are you?" He asked as I stepped into the dining area. What had once been black and white tiles and charming red tables with white chairs were now all dull and grey from dust.

"No?" I replied, scanning the room further. Towards the far end was a glass door through which I could see the laundry pool's fence. On either side were more dead potted plants, and along the rightmost wall was a coffee bar and a swinging door labeled 'keechun.' The reception pony nodded at my response.

"Nopony ever is. Usually, they're running because of breakfast. The royal guard got called out here once over breakfast. Heck! Our old chef had to flee to the country over breakfast," he laughed as he hurled his broom away and sat on the dirty floor, looking up at me with an even smile. "So, what can I do to you?"

"I have some questions about those cultists you said occupied the laundry pool," I explained, pointing my spear at the backdoor.

"Yeah, I've got a few questions myself. For instance, if they're one of those that all drink poisoned juice, do they need catering?" He retorted, tapping his chin as he spoke. "And how do they keep their robes so white? Despite hanging out near our laundry pool!" I forced a smile.

"Right. Do you know how many are out there?"

"Nope! I only saw the big one, his two pony chums, and that pegasus they've got spying on all the guests!" He replied with a smile. I groaned and looked at the distant fence with apprehension.

"Big one, huh?" I murmured. Just then, a ding came from the front desk. Then another. And another. I glanced down at the reception pony, who still had his attention on me. I frowned and waved my hand at the front desk. He tilted his head before gasping in realization and jumping to his hooves.

"Wow! Two room rentals at once? What is this, the forties?" He laughed as he galloped back up front. I watched him vanish around the corner before scowling. What were the chances whoever was around that corner was with the cult? I crept up to the wall behind his booth and craned my head around the corner to listen, and-

"We are looking for a trio of miscreants. A pegasus, a diamond dog, and a hairless bipedal ape," a familiar French voice declared, sending chills up my spine and sparks of pain along my bad wrist. "You will give us entry to all the rooms in this facility so we may search for them."

"I will?" The reception pony retorted still in his chipper voice. There was a pause before he spoke again. "What makes you think they're here anyway?" I carefully set my spear down and fished out my book.

"We encountered some traders along this road a day or so ago who reported having some goods stolen by these criminals," Honeysuckle explained, causing my jaw to drop before I stifled a grunt of anger. "And you are aware that denying entry to a royal guard is illegal, yes?" I swallowed as I quickly memorized the shield spell and then the sleep spell. Like Nettle said, the missile spell only shot once, and there was no way she was here alone.

"Ooh, that's neat! What law is that?" The reception pony asked.

"Equestrian Civil Code 11-F-291," Honeysuckle spat with a smug tone.

"Huh, that's funny. Pretty sure that's a regulation on the length and width of urban carrot patches. Just a sec!" He said, causing me to pause in shock. I heard a lot of clatter coming from his booth before he sighed and slammed something heavy down. "Yep, says right here, 11-F-291 limits the boundaries of urban carrot patches to no more than-"

"This guy actually knows his stuff, Lieutenant," Snowpea interjected.

"Trou du cul! Why do you have a book on Equestrian law?!" Honeysuckle screamed. I choked back a laugh of relief at her frustrated tone.

"Because I'm a responsible citizen who would hate to run afoul of the law," he replied. "Is there a problem?" A palpably tense silence followed and held the room for a moment as I locked the sleep spell in.

"I'll take that as a no," he finally declared. "Welp! You're free to rent a room and hang out for a bit, at least until you can get a class B warrant to search premises out here for you!" After another brief silence, I heard a heavy huff.

"I think we'll do just that. Snowpea, handle this worm. I shall send the request."

"Yes, Lieutenant," the hapless subordinate replied, just before I heard a door slam shut. Snowpea sighed hard. "Sorry about that. She's a little testy right now."

"Well, she's come to the right place! Just one night at Misery and I guarantee you'll forget your troubles!" The reception guy chirped. "Chiefly since you'll have a dozen more dire ones, minimum, at least according to our reviews in the paper." I let out a quiet sigh before creeping as quickly as I dared to the backdoor with my book tucked in my belt and a tight grip on my spear. I gently pulled the door open and scanned the area outside.

There was an overfilled dumpster to the left of the door, but other than that the coast was clear to the opposite end of the little hallway I'd seen earlier. I stepped out and turned my attention and spear to the dumpster before walking back towards the hall.

"Stop right there!" Came a command that made me jump. I whirled around and immediately blasted the voice's owner with my sleep spell. I blinked and frowned at the sight of a pair of little ponies in white robes, now snoozing in a little huddle with each other just at the mouth of the hall.

"Damn," I grumbled. I scanned the area around me but saw no one else. I considered the pair for a moment, and then my spear. I grimaced as I looked between my weapon and the pair.

"I think I know what you're thinking and I wouldn't recommend it," came another voice from behind me, which was far less surprising than the sudden weight on my shoulders and knife against my neck. I held up my bad hand and dropped my spear while pondering how far away from my skin my shield spell would be conjured.

Turning my head as far as I dared, I was met with the partial sight of a little yellow winged pony draped over my shoulders with a knife in their mouth. They gestured with their eyes toward the laundry pool, and when I hesitated, I felt the edge of their knife bite into my jaw.

With a whimpering grunt, I nodded carefully before marching towards the pool. As I walked, I occasionally stole glances at my captor, who was studying my face carefully like a cat eying up a mouse. As I passed through the gate to the laundry pool, I was met with a wild scene.

At one end of the fenced-in space was a set of white stout tents in which a dozen little ponies and half that many other creatures were gathered. I noted a single diamond dog, what I thought was a griffin, two bipedal cat things, a pissed-off-looking sheep, and the big guy who was lounging on his side until he noticed me.

I wasn't super familiar with all the different kinds of wildlife in the woods, so I wasn't sure if he was a moose, an elk, or something else entirely. But he was huge and the only one in the crowd without a robe on. In the center of the area was a murky pond with a clogged up stream feeding in from the woods.

All eyes snapped up and locked on me as I was urged onward. The big guy raised an eyebrow and then snorted before rising to his hooves and stomping forward to meet me. The other figures all followed behind, forming a circle around us and looking at me with wonder.

"This is him, huh?" The elk rumbled in a harsh voice more akin to a rock slide. Without counting his giant, sharp antlers, he still loomed over me and considered me with an expression of thinly veiled contempt. I swallowed and felt the pony on my shoulders hop off.

"Yep!" They chirped after hiding their knife away. "He weaved some kind of charm on Dangle and Dust Bunny around the back of the hotel." The elk snorted and nodded his head to the side. As soon as he did, the cat things ran passed, presumably to collect the two I'd put to sleep.

"Strange magic, huh?" The elk muttered, beginning to pace around me. I scowled and immediately threw down my shield spell. I watched the runes sweep over me like a cloak before clinging to my body like a membrane. The entire group gasped and withdrew a few steps, except for the big guy, who grinned at the display. Despite not knowing how durable it was, the shield made me feel more confident and I turned to look the elk up and down.

"So, who the hell are you?" I demanded.

"Orgnar Skull-trampler," he replied with a smirk and waved a hoof at the rest of the group. "We are the Children of Change, here looking for the Avatar of Chaos."

He looked me up and down as I scanned the group before he laughed. "And, I do believe-" He was cut off by the ear-piercing sound of a cat being skinned. Maybe even two. We all froze and turned towards the gate, where one of the two cat people Orgnar'd sent off was lying, clutching their leg, which was streaming with blood.

And looming over them, unseen eyes fixed on all of us and bloodied rapier already drawn, was Honeysuckle.

"I thought this looked like a good place to hide," she purred as she swept her sword through the air and carefully trotted towards us. I swallowed and took a step back while the cultists split up and began to surround her. Orgnar snorted angrily and began to approach her.

"And who the Hel are-" He was cut off again and shivered with a hearty groan before slumping over. While I didn't see what happened, the mortified faces of the cultists who then stumbled back were very telling. Honeysuckle stepped over him and hopped down right before me as Orgnar rolled over, revealing a serious-looking gash across his face which he was clutching with his hooves.

"So, where oh where are your little friends?" Honeysuckle chirped, gently twisting her sword point first at me. She hummed and raised her hoof slightly. "Oh yes!" My shield warbled and glowed as the point of her sword was suddenly jabbed into my face. I blinked as I realized her sword was bending slightly against my barrier.

"And while we're at it, where is my mother's sword?" She added with a firm tone and a snarled lip. I considered my shield for a moment before shrugging.

"Left it in the room with them," I slapped her sword away, causing her to recoil ever so slightly. "So that was your mom's huh? Was she also a blood-thirsty psycho, or was the dumpy piece of tin foil the only thing you inherited from her?"

Suddenly, I was sent tumbling and landed on my back. Despite the impact, I wasn't dazed or anything, and so I was able to quickly glance down and see a shimmering bubble around my leg matching the color of her magic. Though, I noted that my own shield was glowing just under her magical grip.

"How-" was all I could get out before Honeysuckle leaped at me.

Just as she dove in, sword whirling like a flash of lightning, I kicked my free leg out and met her snout with my heel. There was a warbling boom and a crack and her sword went spinning off to the side, free from her magical grip. Honeysuckle was knocked up on her hind legs and sent skidding away with her head thrown back.

I gasped in surprise before realizing the aura of my shield was glowing around my foot, implying the shield had added some extra oomph to my kick. As I let out a curt laugh in relief, I heard the gentle click of a pair of hooves against the stone. Looking up, I realized all eyes were on Honeysuckle and myself, and their faces were fixed with anxious dread. Even the elk seemed taken aback. Honeysuckle was back on all fours and her head was hanging. Her mane had lost its poofiness, and completely obscured her features, but did nothing to hide the small drip of blood pittering from somewhere on her face.

Slowly, she raised her head to look at me, revealing both of her eyes, which were wide and steely, and her slightly bleeding nose. She rolled her jaw and then spit at me. Looking down at the blood wad, I noticed the unmistakable shape of a broken tooth. I wilted for a second before meeting her eyes.

"Yeah, sucks getting something taken off, don't it?" I managed despite myself. She adopted a grim smile and hummed something between a growl and a laugh.

"I'm going to make the thief watch what I do to your dead body," she spat, drawing a gasp from several onlookers. I, however, had heard worse on the internet. Thus, I was prepped with a response.

"Can't be as bad as what she watched me do to your mom last night," I quipped with a shrug. Several things happened in the instant that followed. For starters, her expression plainly said I'd struck a nerve. Confirmed and noted for later. Secondly, I found myself hurled sideways by magic, despite my shield. Thirdly, Orgnar let out a wheezing yell as I was smashed into him.

While my barrier protected me so I didn't even feel dizzy from the speed I was whipped through the air, he was not so lucky. Last I saw, the guy was sent sprawling into the fence, which he crashed through and then laid on his side with a heavy, gurgling coughing fit.

Finally, as I continued to be swung, mowing down anyone unlucky enough to be in reach, Honeysuckle began to unleash a torrent of hissing, frothing, very offensive-sounding words. My barrier quivered and warbled as I was slammed into cultists, stone, fencing, and then suddenly several trees. I blinked and realized she had dragged me into the woods at some point during her rampage.

"Release your shield coward! Say it to my face!" She shrieked as she plowed me through most of an oak tree. She whipped me around and dragged me forward to her eye level as the tree cracked and then fell over. She sat glaring death into my eyes, panting as strands of rage-driven drool dripped from her snarling maw. I smiled back and relaxed in her telekinetic grip, cupping my chin in my hands.

"Somebody's cranky. You wanna talk about it?" I chirped. Her entire body began to quake, and I learned at that moment that despite being covered in fur, ponies could still turn red and then purple from a mix of anger and lack of oxygen.

"Lieutenant!" Came another voice. Honeysuckle gasped and whipped her head around. I followed her gaze and recoiled at what I saw.

"Well, well, well," I chortled with a scowl, drawing a frown from the newcomer and all her friends.

"What the heck is going on here?" The magic purple unicorn who killed Dan Vs. asked. She looked me up and down. "Is that the Avatar?"

"Huh?" I exclaimed, looking back over my shoulder and then back. I blinked and then brought my good hand to my chest. "Who, me?"

Chapter 8

"This was supposed to be a quiet morning," Celestia groused in a low tone. Her wings twitched and bristled as she stood glaring into the garden. The guards anxiously looked between her and the figure they'd surrounded as the princess growled and stepped into the center of their formation. "Luna and I were going to have breakfast to celebrate her regaining the power of dream-walking."

"Well! You can hardly blame me for tearing you away from that!" Discord chortled. "After all, I neither called for you nor stripped your sister of her favorite means of stalking ponies leading to the circumstance in which its return is a cause for celebration!" He smirked and tilted his head, both actions require a visible effort on his part.

For while his face and features were no longer set in stone, the rest of his body up to the base of his skull were still petrified. Celestia scowled at the spirit before circling him and inspecting his form. Discord attempted to track her as best he could but after losing sight of her, he laughed instead.

"It seems my star pupil's managed to make some alarming progress! Especially when compared to the last one," he chirped, drawing a grunt from the princess as she reentered his field of vision. The spirit grinned at the sound. "Ah, but the less said about that lunatic the better, hm? You know, I didn't think to bring it up while I was free! How has your wing mended, may I ask?" Celestia paused and glared up at his face while he studied her side. The guards murmured nervously and looked amongst themselves in bewilderment.

"It certainly looks to have healed just fine, but is there any lingering discomfort?" His lips peeled back to a thin, toothy smile. "I recall you obligate corporeal types experience tremendous duress when something is removed after all." The wing he was eyeing bristled again, seemingly on reflex this time.

"I'm curious why you haven't begun wreaking havoc," Celestia curtly declared. Discord hummed and attempted to crack his neck to no avail.

"Well, it seems despite being at liberty to speak, much like an agitated arts student, my capacity for action ends at words," he let out a mournful sigh and frowned. "I presume the greater scope of the Element's effects on me are still in place."

"How fortunate for us," Celestia replied, managing a smile before nodding at the guards. "Relocate him to the lower caverns."

"Oh! And here I was trying to make up for the lack of small talk you were missing with Lulu!" Discord grumbled as a trio of guards tentatively crept up and plucked his stony body from the base he rested upon. The entire circle slowly splintered to help escort the spirit away, many sparing a final glance at the princess before departing. All except one, who remained behind.

Celestia frowned once the two were alone and cast her gaze south toward the fields and forest beyond Ponyville, in the direction Lieutenant Honeysuckle believed the Avatar had fled. The unicorn in purple officer's armor stared off that way as well, though with a much more severe expression.

"It seems I have underestimated this devil," she murmured.

"You don't think Twily and her friends are in danger do you?" The unicorn asked. Celestia considered his words for a moment before shaking her head.

"No. Of course not," she finally declared. "Your sister and her friends have the Elements. What could that devil hope to do against their power combined?"

Thirty-seven minutes prior.

"I told you my squad and I could handle this low-life!" Honeysuckle yelled with a noticeable hint of hesitation. I glanced between her and.. Fuck, what was her name?

"We don't know what he's capable of!" Uh, she declared, taking a step forward and thrusting a hoof at me. "I don't understand why you're being so-"

"S'cause I stole her momma's flimsy fencing foil," I interjected. Honeysuckle glared death my way, uttering a low snarl through clenched teeth which matched the creaking crackle of my shield as she attempted to strangle me magically. I returned a smile as her efforts had no effect beyond getting her in arms reach.

I swept my arm into her head, sending her sprawling with a squawk as my shield warbled from the impact. Her spell was cut and I hit the ground before scrambling to my feet, my attention immediately turned toward Amazing Shela and her trusty companions, all of whom were taken aback by my maneuver.

"You would strike a lady?!" The white unicorn with curly purple hair squealed. I barked a laugh and thrust my good hand at them like a claw.

"I'd do far worse! And she's no lady!" I feebly clutched my bad hand at Honeysuckle, who weakly snarled at me while rubbing her horn. "The vicious little monster sliced off my hand within seconds of laying eyes on me!" The white one gasped, drawing my gaze back to the group, most of whom were shocked by my words.

"She.. She did what?" Shela murmured. I grinned darkly and crouched at them.

"Well, it seems there are numerous elements at play you aren't aware of," I chortled before thrusting my arm and pointing toward the trees just behind them. "For example!" The entire group whipped around to see the nothing I was gesturing to, allowing me to immediately whip around and bolt as fast as I could run.

"Stop him!" Honeysuckle screamed as I tore through the woods back to the hotel grounds. Just before I broke free from the treeline, however, I heard a whoosh, a warbling thud, and a heaving grunt as my shield flashed across my vision. Casting a glance back, I saw the blue rainbow-haired one on the ground just behind me shaking her head and then glaring at me. Then there was a crackling pop and my legs were yanked out from under me.

"No fair!" I heard the blue one yell as I fell over. "I slammed him as hard as I could!" I rolled over as best I could to see my leg snared in Shela's magic, while she herself was looking me over with a severe expression.

"He's got a magical shield that's warding against physical force," she assessed as her friends came galloping up. "But I've never seen a shield spell built like this."

"You've also never seen THIS!" I yelled as I drove my free knee into her-

"Hush," she ordered, locking my other leg down and folding it over the other. I gasped in discomfort as she forcibly rolled me over just as her friends encircled me. "It's resistant to magic too, but unlike most shields, it doesn't keep simple telekinesis from grabbing it. See?" She punctuated her explanation by dragging me closer.

"Is, uh, that normal?" The orange one asked, rubbing her head under her hat while looking me over.

"It's definitely weird," Shela declared before shaking her head and fixing me with a stern expression. "But enough about that. What did you mean when you said she cut your, uh.. whatever off?" She waved her hoof over me. I grunted in frustration as I struggled against her hold.

"I-"

"Don't listen to him!" Honeysuckle cried, drawing their attention over to her. She stood looming just outside their circle, looking between each of them and still rubbing the side of her horn. "He threatened me while he was in possession of an unknown set of magical artifacts, and his actions since then have proved my assessment-"

"Fuck you! You came in stanced up and ready to fight!" I spat, drawing a gasp from a few of Shela's friends.

"Language!" The white one yelled.

"Fuck you, too!" She recoiled with an indignant huff while the blue one punched my shield.

"Hey! Don't talk to Rarity like that!" She demanded.

"Make me!"

"CHARGE!" Came a roar from a familiar rumbling voice. All of us turned toward the hotel to see Orgnar and some of the larger cultists, especially the dog and griffin, rushing toward us. "Free the Avatar!"

"Yeah! That's me!" I yelled back, pumping my fist in their direction.

"Merde," Honeysuckle growled.

"Wha- Hang on!" Shela cried, raising her hooves and wilting at the sight of the charging elk. Her yellow pegasus friend let out a squeak and hugged the ground while the blue and orange ones shared a look before charging the cultists.

"WEEE! Crazy moose fight!" The pink one hollered before bounding towards Orgnar with a feral roar. She and the hulking creature slammed into each other and to my lasting shock fell into a slugging match. The blue and orange pair zipped by and crashed into the rest of Orgnar's team. The griffin and the blue one locked hooves and claws before tumbling into the air, while the orange one produced a lasso with which she snared the diamond dog's left arm, and the two began a tug-of-war.

The larger ponies Orgnar'd brought slid to a halt before turning to tackle the orange one, but were blasted down by Shela's magic, which alerted me to the fact she'd released her hold on me. As she and her unicorn friend galloped over to help their friends, I rolled onto my hands and knees before scrambling away.

"Lieutenant! Keep the Avatar restrained!" Shela cried just as she joined the brawl. I choked out a groan as I felt the grip of a certain someone's magic around my ankle.

"Where do you think you're going?" Honeysuckle demanded as I was dragged toward her and flipped onto my back. I grunted in annoyance as she pinned me with just her magic and kept her distance.

"I was thinking of paying your mom a visit," I replied. She smiled and shook her mane.

"You're going to have to try harder than that to get me again," she chuckled.

"Guess that's another thing you never inherited. Cause she was plenty easy." And just like that, I was horizontally mobile again.

"Fils de pute! You think you can just say these things? ENFOIRÉ. I WILL-" and that was the last coherent thing I heard her scream as the sound of splintering wood and earth rolling around my shielded head became deafening. I folded my arms in thought as she swung me about, pondering how I could get her to release me. As I whirled through the air, I blinked as I noticed a large purple blob filling my vision before it suddenly vanished. Turning to try and get a look at what it might have been, my jaw dropped in shock.

"Hey, Honeysuckle?" I called.

"-AND THEN, just when you think it's finally safe to have yourself a little nap? You perhaps begin thinking 'Oh! I was so wrong about her!'" She replied, holding me up in the air and chuckling darkly. "Then I will let the spiders in!" She fell into a hearty cackling fit but continued holding me up, allowing me to really take in what she'd done.

"Christ on the cross, lady," I muttered as I scanned our immediate surroundings.

"What?" She grumbled, turning to see what I was looking at. "Oh."

All around us, for dozens of feet in a near-perfect circle, the forest was shorn down to stumps. And within that circle lay the moaning, crumbled forms of the cultists, including Orgnar.

"Oooooh," Honeysuckle moaned, slowly wobbling and collapsing onto her side. I couldn't blame her and, in fact, was a bit shocked myself.

'Cause, in addition to the cultists, Amazing Shela and company were also laid the fuck out.

"OOOOOOOOOOooooh," she squeaked again for good measure, slowly covering her face with her hooves. I grimaced in discomfort at the scene and scratched my chin.

"Yeah, I feel like that one's gonna be tough to explain," I declared. She uttered a noise somewhere between a gurgle and a sob. Before I could offer any further insight, I blinked as my vision was suddenly an explosion of color. As it subsided, I laughed and clapped. "Aw, shit! I think you using me to kick all their asses counted! Thanks, Honeysuckle!"

"Hwha?" She asked. I nodded with another laugh before pulling out my book and double-checking.

"Yeah, my magic gets stronger when I get money or treasure, but also when I kill stuff," I explained, nodding as I looked over the passage. "Or at least, that's how I read it previously. It just actually just says 'defeat.'" I smirked and looked over the ruin she had wreaked.

"Yeah, they look pretty defeated to me," I hummed and crouched to pet her back with my bad hand. "So hey! Thanks for the help, Darlin'."

"Ooh," she gurgled. "I may be ill."

"In the head? There's no 'may' about it," I replied before withdrawing and starting for the hotel. "Anyhoo, I'll send your cronies to find you and help you clean up."

"Going to kill you," she groaned with her face buried in her hooves. I paid her threat no mind and walked on, with a skip in my step and my eyes scanning for what to use next. A third first-level spell and a single second-level! Jeezaloo, how much were Shela and her friends worth? And more importantly, since they weren't dead, could we make this a weekly thing? Give 'em time to recover from the head trauma and all.

"Goober!" I looked up to see Snowpea and her buddies standing in my way and looking all serious. She took a step forward and stomped. "Stop right there!"

"Honeysuckle needs help," I replied waving back at the woods, and to the scene said angry French horse had caused, which was all well in sight. The three gasped and shared a look before Snowpea fixed me with an angry glare.

"You've got something to do with this!" She accused. I shrugged and pushed past them, an act made easy by my shield. The three gasped as they were repelled by my magic and quickly scurried out of my path. Really have to wonder how long this thing lasts.

"Probably! Not much you can do now though," I laughed. Just then, I saw my barrier shimmer and then vanish. Oh. What was that, twenty, twenty-five minutes? We'll call it twenty. I anxiously looked back over my shoulder at Snowpea and company, who luckily hadn't noticed the spell end, and were instead sharing a look of trepidation. After a moment, Snowpea glared at me and snorted.

"You aren't gonna get away with this! Just you wait!" She turned and galloped off, leading her fellows to their boss. I finally exhaled and then bolted. I rapidly cleared the ruins of the laundry pool and ran toward the passage to the front lot, but suddenly the dining room door flew open and a pair of white-robed ponies came galloping out to cut me off.

"Avatar! Wait!" One of them cried, revealing them to be one of the two I blasted to sleep earlier. I ran up and stood before them.

"No time. Honeysuckle's going to recover from her shame any minute now," I retorted, casting a nervous glance over my shoulder.

"Yes, the guardsmare, of course. Please, come with us! We have a plan!" The other one pleaded before grabbing my pant leg with his teeth and pulling back toward the dining room door. Looking that way, I saw a few familiar faces from the laundry pool looking back at me with similar pleading expressions. I grunted and finally sighed before lumbering to the door.

As the three of us slipped inside, I saw that the rest of the cult, mostly ponies with the exception of the sheep, was now gathered there. A few of them were curled up on the floor, wincing and nursing their sides or heads where Honeysuckle had slammed me. However, as I entered the room, all eyes were drawn to me.

"It's him," one whispered.

"Orgnar did it!" Another cheered.

"We need to get him back to the badlands!" The sheep bleated, slowly rolling to his hooves before wincing and collapsing. Before I could say anything, the reception pony burst through the kitchen door.

"Great news! I found some rat poison we could mix in your punch!" He chirped, holding up a leaking bottle with both hooves.

"We're not that type of cult!" One of the ponies hissed, at which the receptionist slowly set the bottle down and nodded.

"Hey, that's fair! But are you the type of cult that's gonna pay for the laundry pool you all smashed up?" He tilted his head and queried. The pony wilted and the rest averted their eyes. I grunted and waved at him.

"Do you take valuable heirloom swords?"

"We surely-durly do!" He replied with a little dance.

"Right. I'm going to be checking out soon, so we'll discuss it then," I explained before grabbing one of the least dusty chairs and sitting down.

"Works for me!" He chirped as he returned to the kitchen. Once he was through the door I cast a glare over the cult.

"So, what do you want?" I demanded. The entire group hesitated and shared a look before the sheep cleared his throat and slowly sat up.

"We are the Children of Change. We are gathered with the singular purpose of seeking a better station in life where our homes have failed us, either by accident or design," he explained, struggling and then trotting up to me. "Our prophet and high priest spoke of an Avatar summoned by the Spirit of Chaos, who we might convince to aid us in our quest."

"And you think that's me?" I hummed, leaning on the table. He and several others nodded fervently.

"Yes! Even discounting the strange magic, you look exactly like what he described!" The sheep declared, looking me up and down. "It has to be you." I rolled my head back, mulling over his words.

"Okay, so, assuming you're right, what then?" I held my hand out toward the door. "Cause I've still got a band of unconscious magic horses out there and one seriously pissed-off officer and her cronies to worry about."

"Ah, you mean Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Harmony?" He asked, blinking and looking at the door in wonder. Twilight, that was her name. "Orgnar actually bested them?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, no. Honeysuckle went berserk and laid Twilight and Orgnar's entire group out."

"O-oh," he sighed. For a moment, all eyes were on the door before someone gasped.

"Hey! If they're knocked out, let's just go tie 'em up!" They cheered. Several others gasped in realization and cried in agreement with their plan. I grimaced and shrugged.

"Two issues I see with that. First, they have magic, so I don't know how effective just tying them up will be," I explained. "Second issue is again, Honeysuckle."

I slipped my book free and shook it at them. "I've got a spell that can put her to sleep, but when she wakes up, again, she's got magic." A contemplative silence fell over the group for a few moments.

"We could," one of the ponies quietly began, swallowing before continuing. "F-finish them off." Some of the other ponies shivered at the suggestion and the sheep went paler than he already was. I clicked my teeth and sighed hard.

"Well," I began. Before I could continue, the door to the kitchen swung open as the reception pony came trotting out.

"Hey, folks! Couldn't help but overhear!" He chirped, trotting to the center of the room before sweeping his hooves over the crowd. "Going to have to ask you to not murder the national heroes while they are on the premises. A cult's ritualistic suicide is one thing! But if you go killing somepony important, folks might think poor of us!"

"You have a skeleton rotting in your front lot," I squawked. He blinked and looked over his shoulder.

"Really? Uh-oh, thought I cleaned that up," he whirled around and took off toward the front of the building. Again, silence fell over the group and I flipped open my book, scanning the new tier of spell I had access to. As I read on, the sheep cleared his throat.

"Well, perhaps it would be best if we," he hesitated and rolled his head back and forth. "Brought you to the fort?"

"What's the fort?"

"It's our home for the time being, where the rest of our members are waiting," one of the ponies explained. "It's very well hidden! If we leave now, I don't think they'll be able to track us!"

"What about your friends who got knocked out?"

"They know where it is," the pony retorted with a shrug. I frowned and shook my head.

"Sure, but are you just going to leave them behind?" The sheep scoffed in response.

"It's just Orgnar and his goons. Who cares?" He declared. Several voices rose in agreement. "He's only on our side cause he thinks the Avatar will aid him in conquering Equestria."

"Huh," I huffed, leaning back in my seat and folding my arms. "Well, I barely know the guy, so it's no skin off my back. But there is one more thing I need to consider!"

"Yes?" The sheep asked, tilting his head. I leaned forward, jabbed a finger at him, and fixed him with a withering glare that caused him to hug the ground.

"I need to make sure you aren't lying."

The sheep, named Sash it turned out, hugged the floor of our hotel room with his eyes darting between me and Nettle. The dog was glaring hard at him and had been ever since I explained the situation and had Sash give his side of things. The rest of the cult was already mobile and waiting further south for either all of us or just Sash.

I turned to Nettle. "Well? Time's kind of against us here." He narrowed his eyes and sighed hard.

"Not lying. I still not like the idea."

"Me neither!" Sneaky shrieked, flying up and punching me between the shoulder blades drawing a grunt of pain out of me. "You were supposed to find out how many of these guys were out there, not get all buddy-buddy with them!" I rolled my shoulders with a wince before turning to her.

"That was my plan. Then Honeysuckle showed up and things escalated, weren't you listening?" She nickered and landed on the bed with a scowl.

"Sure have. It sounds like it's not enough for you to have me bound with a curse, you want to surround yourself with a bunch of cronies too!" She grumbled, curling up and pouting off to the side. I rolled my eyes with a huff.

"Again, that wasn't my plan for today. But if Nettle says they're not lying," I gestured to him and then to Sash. "And they say they're on our side, I say why turn up our nose at such a choice opportunity?" Sneaky jabbed a hoof at me.

"Cause they aren't on our side, they're on yours!"

I recoiled and shook my head. "What's the difference?" She flinched and fixed me with an incredulous glare. I shook my head again and crouched on one knee to meet her at eye level. "Sash, wait outside." He hesitated but did as requested after a moment. Once the door shut behind him, I continued, clearing my throat and adopting my evil wizard voice.

"Free reminder, but when I enslaved you I promised rewards in exchange for your service. That should tell you I intend to take care of you as best I can," I pointed at Nettle, who stood with his arms folded but an otherwise unreadable expression. "And you've been a major help, so I'd like to try and return the favor."

I rose to my feet and pointed at the door. "This little band wishes to make themselves useful to me, so I wish to make them useful to you," I added, turning and unfurling my arms at the two. "So, if you will allow, that is what I propose we do. Unless you have another plan for escaping Honeysuckle and the Elements of Harmony here and now." Both shared a look for a few moments, during which time I cracked open the door to scan the lot, ignoring Sash as he looked up at me nervously.

"And if you do have another plan, please speak up," I said, turning back to the two of them. Nettle was nodding slowly in thought, while Sneaky had me fixed with a glare. "I don't know how long until Honeysuckle recovers from her shame or how long until Amazing Shela and friends are back on their feet." I scanned the lot one more time before closing the door.

"Remove the curse," Sneaky spat, drawing Nettle and my eyes to her. She was on the floor right beside me with a firm frown. "Remove your curse and I'll go." I frowned back and folded my arms.

"And how do I know you won't just run?"

"How do I know you actually have my best interests at heart?" She retorted. I raised an eyebrow and looked from her to Nettle, who met my eyes with his arms folded and a shrug. I sighed and nodded.

"Alright," I began, holding my hand out and waving it over her. "I release you from my spell." She blinked and stared at me for a moment before frowning and looking herself over.

"How do I know it worked? I don't feel any different," she declared. I rolled my eyes and nudged her with my leg.

"Don't hit my leg, that's an order," I said. She stared at me in confusion for a moment before jolting in realization and doing exactly as I told her not to, with perhaps way more gusto than was necessary. I stifled a squawk of pain and fell over, my hands locked around my shin.

"You actually did it?" She said in amazement. I responded with a wheezing wail as I rolled, holding my leg. "I- Wow, okay."
I heaved a breath and weakly nodded. "We good?" I squirmed to look up at the pair who were sharing a look before they turned to me.

"Yeah, I think we're good," Sneaky replied, to which Nettle gave an assenting nod and grunt.

Honeysuckle scanned the hotel's dining room which had been repurposed as a temporary holding chamber for her captives. The giant moose that led the attack glared back at her and strained against the chains binding his limbs. Why the hotel had so much rope and chains she couldn't care less.

Instead, she turned back to the receptionist at her side. "A wagon will be along in a few hours to collect them and deliver compensation for the room Twilight Sparkle and company are recovering in and for the damages," she sighed and shook her head. "Ça alors, what a headache."

"Ah, don't worry about the pool!" The receptionist chuckled, patting her on the back to her unrestrained annoyance. "We had a guest give us a pretty hefty tip as he and his friends were checking out."

Honeysuckle bristled and inhaled sharply through her teeth. "Oh, yes, and I'm certain this guest wasn't the fellow I was looking for, hm?" She cast a bitter smile at the receptionist as he hopped into his booth and fished around for something.

"Who knows! Maybe it was them, but no way of proving that now!" He laughed, at which Honeysuckle let out a low chuckle of her own. "But hey, whoever he was, he must've been pretty rich! Look at this thing!" Honeysuckle rolled her eyes and glanced at him as he withdrew, holding up her heirloom sword with his teeth.

"Hretty hrool, hruh?" He asked. The lieutenant stared at him in silence for a few moments, during which time he began to sway from holding the blade upright. Finally, her ear twitched and she managed a response.

"Quoi?" She squeaked.

Chapter 9

"More water, Avatar?" One of the unicorn cultists offered, hovering a jug up to me with her magic. I waved the jug away and continued reading through my list of spells as I sat stooped over my book with a furrowed brow. Using Shield as a base, I was able to estimate how long each spell would last roughly, and after testing with my Light spell I confirmed my metric was more or less on point.

Of course, some, like Light, lasted longer the higher level my overall ability was, but regardless I could now predict how long any given spell would function.

"Did you find me anything to write with?" I asked the cultist, who beamed and hovered a scroll, quill, and ink to me.

"Sure did!"

"Kickass," I declared, unfurling the scroll and attempting to write down my calculations, scooting my lantern closer as I did. My right hand still wasn't a hundred percent, so my writing was a little sloppy. "How're Sneaky and Nettle doing?"

"Uhm," she murmured and went quiet. Looking up from my work, I saw she was looking back at the rest of the camp. We'd holed up in a shallow cave which the cultists had spread some tarps on the floor of before busying themselves making things more comfortable for the three of us.

For instance, Nettle was asleep with Sash being used as a pillow and Sneaky was being carefully fed some grapes while having her hooves filed and mane gently brushed. My personal attendant turned back to me with a smile.

"I think they're doing okay," she said before scrunching her muzzle. "They definitely seem to be enjoying the benefits of your status all of a sudden, considering how grumpy they've been up to now."

"Looks that way," I replied, returning my attention to my writing. I felt a warm, giddy feeling work up through my chest and couldn't help but grin as I scribbled. I might've been banged up, sliced up, on the run, and hiding in a cave, and my magic sure as hell was still a pain in the ass, but there was an energy to sitting here by lamplight and using an old-fashioned ink and quill on a scroll. A wizarding energy that was reinforced by the knowledge this wasn't just for fun, this was genuine warlock work.

"Oh yeah," I chuckled as I set my writing tools aside. "It's all coming together." I blew on the written ink and set the paper aside before reclining on my bed roll. My back was aching, but once I was lying flat I let out a sigh as the pain slowly rolled away.

"How long until we're at your guys' fort?" I asked, removing my glasses.

"Oh, it's not far, just well hidden," she responded, scooting closer as she spoke. "We should get there by a little after midday tomorrow."

"Fantastic," I declared, draping my arm over my eyes. My private corner of the cave was momentarily silent save for the hushed conversations the cultists were having with each other until my assistant cleared her throat.

"Uh, Avatar?" She murmured.

"Yeah?"

"Uhm," she murmured again and hesitated long enough that I put my glasses back on to stare at her. She was looking off toward the cave's entrance before turning back and meeting my eyes. "You are going to help us, uh, change things, right? Make 'em better?" I raised an eyebrow and slipped my glasses back off.

"Sure," I replied, once again covering my eyes with my arm. She took a quiet, shallow breath and sighed.

"Great! I, uh, I'm looking forward to it!"

"Yep."

"Yeah!" Following that last exclamation, silence gripped my corner of the cave for a few moments. "I'll, uh, let you get some sleep, then!"

"Thanks," I huffed. After another moment, I heard the gentle sound of her hooves clicking against the stone and I peered out from under my arm. I could faintly see her blurry shape as she withdrew from my company and returned to the rest of the group before she seemed to wander past them to the cave mouth and sat away from the other blurry shapes. Covering my eyes again, I frowned and took a deep breath which came out in a heavy sigh.

I shielded my eyes from the sun with my bad hand as I scanned the horizon. An arid, blasted wasteland like this would've been miserable back home, but here in Pony World, even a craggy dusty place was something to behold. All the sandy shades of brown and withered yellow patches of grass were in vibrant pastel colors, and the towering spires of raw rock seemed almost deliberately sculpted given how I was pretty sure natural rain erosion wouldn't cause what seemed to be wide slabs of stone resting atop far, far thinner pinnacles of rock.

Then again, I hated camping and never traveled much, so what do I know?

I whistled at the sight and continued to take in the view. "Sure is something."

"You think, so?" Sash asked as he stood beside me on the precipice overlooking the badlands. He grumbled after a moment. "Just looks like a bunch of rocks and hot weather to me." I took a step back from the ledge and turned to him.

"Well, we'd better hurry up to your headquarters and get out of the sun then, huh?" I offered, looking toward the group waiting for me back on the rough path we were taking down into the valley below. Sash trotted along beside me as we returned.

"Excellent idea, Avatar! Oh, it's been weeks since we've been home!" He chuckled.

"Weeks?" Sneaky said once the whole group was moving as she and Nettle were beside me again. She looked over the whole troop with a frown. "What were you all doing for weeks?"

"We were waiting on some information from Canterlot," Sash explained. "Somewooly the High Priest made contact with a few years ago who believed he had found a lead on the Avatar's location a little over a month ago." I choked and stumbled, drawing gasps from the cult and then a squawk from Sneaky as they nearly trampled her to come to my aid.
"Avatar, are you alright?" Sash cried. I waved them back as I steadied myself.

"I'm fine!" I huffed, glancing up at Sneaky and Nettle before looking down at Sash. "You said he found a lead a month ago?

"On you, yes!" He chirped with a smile. His head tilted as I fixed him with an incredulous leer. After a moment, I looked up at Sneaky, who was scowling my way until she must've realized the issue as well. She blinked and her eyes went wide, darting between Sash and me.

"Well, uh," I cleared my throat. "Great that you're all so, uh, attentive!" I whirled around and continued the trek to the valley.

"Oh, thank you, Avatar!" Sash replied as the cult followed my lead. "We aim to please." I cast an anxious look back at Sneaky who was creeping along after us with just as nervous an expression.

Our journey took us off the beaten path that cut through the badlands and deep among the crags and jagged canyons of the area. If there were any secret signs or special markings used to navigate, they were well hidden, and I rapidly found myself at the very back of the column with Sneaky and Nettle as the cult led us on.

As we passed into a tight canyon, Nettle sniffed at the air and quietly pointed to hard-to-make-out figures leering down at us from the rocks above us. They vanished just as quickly as we noticed them, but as we marched, I occasionally glanced upward and spotted them each time.

After thirty or so minutes, the canyon spilled out into an even lower valley, hemmed in on all sides by rock, with a natural waterfall filling a shimmering lake that flowed into a dark cave at one end of the valley. Directly across the lake from where we entered was a comparatively small stone plateau on which was built a high sandstone wall. I could see from where we marched that it encircled a courtyard and several caves cut into the larger rock face. A plank bridge extended over the lake to the construction, which must've been the fort.

"Ah, home at last!" Sash happily bleated. He trotted up to the bridge and began waving the group onward. "Quickly, everywooly! Quickly!" The cult gleefully began scrambling across the bridge, but Sneaky, Nettle, and I lagged behind. Sneaky fluttered up beside my head and nervously peeked over my shoulder at the line ahead of us.

"So, how long ago did you say Discord summoned you?" She quietly asked.

"Literally the day before we met," I replied just as quietly, waving at Sash with a smile when he looked back at us, seemingly to make sure we were following.

"How long ago was that?" Nettle pried once the sheep was no longer paying attention.

"Way less than a month ago," Sneaky squeaked, gnawing her hoof as we drew near to the fort. Nettle hummed and nudged me.

"So, you maybe not the Avatar they want?"

"Maybe," I muttered.

"They not seem to know that, though," he declared, causing Sneaky and I to share a look and then glance at him.

"True!" We declared in tandem. We all turned forward as we passed through the front gate and into the courtyard where twenty or so creatures of all sorts were gathered and now directing their attention toward us.

The yard had several shacks, lean-tos, and tents thrown up all around, with unlit communal firepits dotting the spaces between them. The rockface was not only full of cave entrances but I could now see ladders, ropes, and pullies decorating the surface, as well as dozens of eyes peeking out at us from the caves.

One of the yard denizens, a moose like Orgnar, stepped forward from the crowd and scowled at us all as Sash trotted forward.

"Our mission was more of a success than we could have imagined!" He cried to the entire congregation before whirling around and thrusting his hoof at me. "Behold, brothers and sisters! The Avatar of Chaos! Just as the High Priest described!" The crowd studied me as the group who led us here parted to give them a fuller view of me. I shared a momentary look with Nettle and Sneaky before clearing my throat.

"Greetings," I said in my best wizard voice, taking a slight bow and then stepping forward. "I-"

"Where are Orgnar and the other warriors?" The moose demanded, causing me to stumble. A few of the larger cultists in the yard stepped forward to either side of the moose, and Sash frowned and glared over his shoulder at the guy.

"The Elements of Harmony were hot on the Avatar's hooves, and we came to blows with them," he explained, causing the moose to narrow his eyes. "We were forced to withdraw while Orgnar and the others kept them at bay."

"You left behind Orgnar behind?!" One of the large cultists, a cat person, yelled.

"He one of the strongest in the group!" A diamond dog screamed, throwing his paws in the air.

"You lousy sheep," the moose grumbled, huffed a gout of steam from his nose.

"How's the Avatar going to conquer Equestria without him?" A yellow unicorn with a scar hissed.

"Wait until Yendrek hears this!" Someone further back laughed.

The entire fort, including the group that had led us here, fell into a mass argument all at once. Lots of hooves and claws were jabbed my way and insults aplenty were sent flying. Some dashed forward and seemed to come to Sash's defense, but just as many went to the moose's side. Despite the difference in size, Sash actually stomped up and yelled up at the moose who'd been staring him down, which only seemed to enflame the anger felt on both sides.

As Sneaky, Nettle, and I stood back watching the scene unfold, the shouting increased and suddenly someone cried out as a sword was drawn, followed by other weapons on both sides.

Then, it all stopped.

I recoiled at the sudden silence and my head swiveled as I looked over the group. All eyes were toward something at the far end of the courtyard and slowly, the entire group parted ways. After just a moment, the cult had split in two, giving way to a tall robbed figure who strode forward, slowly turning its head left and right before looking at me.

A tense quiet held the courtyard before Sash scurried into view. "High Priest! This is the Avatar you spoke of, isn't he?" The High Priest looked down at the sheep before back at me and then stepped up to me.

He was tall, meeting me at eye level despite having a slight hunch in his posture, and his white robes completely obscured his frame. Despite them, however, I could see the shape of his legs, which were crooked like Nettle's or a satyr's. There was also a bushy white tail that swept out behind him, adding to my confusion about what the hell he was.

His face gave no answers, as it was hidden under a hood and behind an elongated bronze featureless mask, through which only his pale glowing blue eyes were visible. Said eyes were locked firmly with mine and I felt a tingling chill fill the air the longer we stared.

"Interesting," he finally said in an even, thick, almost German-sounding voice. "I am Pseudo. Avatar, let your friends and us two speak privately." One of his sleeves slowly raised and a single grey-skinned claw swept back the way he'd come. He took a single step away from me, offering me passage, but his eyes remained locked on me and unblinking.

I shivered with every breath before breaking our stare-off and looked at Sneaky and Nettle, who seemed just as uncomfortable as I felt. Nettle adjusted his grip on his suitcase with a quiet sigh, while Sneaky swallowed and hid behind me. Turning back to Pseudo, I found he had remained completely still.

"Sure," I finally gasped.

Pseudo had escorted us to a private chamber in the caves, all of which were illuminated by a mix of lamps and glowing yellow crystals. How much of the cave system was natural and how much was carved out manually I wasn't sure, but the chamber we were sitting in definitely seemed deliberately designed. Most caves didn't come out square with perfectly square doorways separating them from the rest of the system, after all.

In any case, as far as caves go, if the whole place was like this room they had a pretty swell setup, though Pseudo's chamber was an outlier as it didn't actually have a door. It was way cooler in the caves than outside for one, and the fluffy sofa Sneaky, Nettle, and I were sitting on hinted that they'd hauled furniture into the place. Pseudo sat in one of the three dark chairs across a solid block of stone between us seemingly used as a table.

He hadn't really said or asked much since we entered the room, only if he could take a look at the books Discord left me. If he doubted my status as the Avatar, he made no sign of it, and just read through each of the seven books in silence. Finally, he hummed quietly and closed the last of the set.

"Interesting," he stacked the books on the table, tapped them, and looked up at me. "Have you read all of these?" I took a shallowed breath as I leaned forward to grab them with a shrug.

"Well, things have been kind of hectic, so I really only focused on the spells in them, so," I glanced down at the books as I set them in my lap before shrugging at him again. "Not entirely?"

"I encourage you to do so, Avatar," he said, nodding his head. "Very interesting what the Spirit deigned to grant you."

"Uh, will do," I replied. His eyes darted to Sneaky and he held out a hand at her.

"And what is your relationship with the Avatar?" He asked. She wilted and swallowed.

"I-I, uh-"

"I enslaved her with my magic," I said with a wave of my hand and an eye roll. "She has her uses, just ignore her." I heard Sneaky quietly sigh in relief as Pseudo's eyes were back on me and he nodded again.

"Ah, I see. Very prudent, Avatar," he said with a quiet laugh before turning to Nettle. "And you?"

"We escape captor by ponies together," Nettle replied before I could say anything. He had his suitcase firmly tucked under his arm and had kept his eyes locked on the priest since he first appeared.

"Interesting," Pseudo hummed before pointing at the suitcase. "May I see what you have in there?" I turned to Nettle who narrowed his eyes and clutched the case with both paws.

"I'll give it right back, I promise you," Pseudo offered. As I looked between the two, that tingling, icy feeling returned. I heard Nettle murmur before he carefully set the case on the table. Pseudo pulled it toward himself and spun it before opening it. Nettle and I shared a look, but before I knew it, he'd already closed it and slid it back to Nettle. "Thank you." Nettle and I shared a look again before he reached over and grabbed it. As Nettle clutched the box, he paused and pressed his nose to it. After a moment he withdrew and gave Pseudo a sideways leer. I turned to Sneaky whose eyes were wide and locked on the priest.

"It's always a delight to see chaos at work," the priest declared. "Such disparate parts, brought together by happenstance, and yet without their unity our Avatar might never have been delivered to us."

"Huh?" I huffed. He held his hands out in response.

"We are the Children of Change, and I am our prophet," he began. "I am gifted with eyes that can see the cords of fate, even as chaos plucks at them." He reclined in his seat with his hands folded.

"In my old age, I have learned to discern meaning from the madness, by which I have led this gathering for some years now. I can see the touch of chaos upon all of you, and I discern that had you three not met," his eyes drifted over us. "Our quest for the Avatar would have failed." I tensed up and glanced at Sneaky and Nettle.

"Well, uh, here I am!" I finally said, at which Pseudo laughed and rose from his seat.

"Yes, and I've gotten a look at you three now," he declared, clapping his hands a few times. The faint sound of hooves clicking against stone came in response. "I am certain you are weary from your journey and trials. For even the chosen may be afflicted, yes?" He bowed and swept his arm toward the door.

"I shall speak to the Children, and assure them of your authenticity," as he spoke Sash came trotting in with a smile. "Go now and rest. Tomorrow, or perhaps the next day, we shall convene and discuss the work we must do together Avatar." I looked from Sash to Pseudo.

"Hey, uh, you can call me Victor," I said. The priest hummed with a nod.

"As you will," he rolled his hand at Sash. "Please." Nettle, Sneaky, and I shared a look before rising from our seats and following Sash out of the room. Just before I rounded the corner into the hall, I glanced back at Pseudo to find he was standing straight up and staring back. Again, a chill struck me right until I broke the line of sight.

"Seems to have gone well!" Sash chirped as he led us through the caves. He began asking questions and saying all sorts of praise, but the three of us said nothing in response. Eventually, he delivered us to a room with four beds and an actual door much like most of the other chambers we'd seen. "I'll have the rest of your luggage delivered soon! Make yourselves comfortable!"

The sheep pulled the door shut as he withdrew and we sat down on a pair of beds, Nettle across from Sneaky and myself. We sat in silence, listening to the click of Sash's hooves as he slipped away before we spoke.

"He steal something from my case," Nettle growled. "Not sure what, but smell was different."

"He did it while you two weren't looking," Sneaky explained with a quaver. "I barely saw his claws cause of how fast he did it, though."

"This may have been a mistake," I declared. Sneaky gasped.

"No!" She exclaimed with her hoof over her mouth before punching my shoulder.

The sun had fallen below the rim of stone that surrounded the valley, casting the entire fort into a heavy shadow and the courtyard was now lit by poles holding up the same sort of crystal that lit up the caves. On a wooden balcony that extended from one of the higher cave mouths, Pseudo scanned the valley below before continuing to read the letters he had before him on the balcony rail. The entire structure rattled suddenly and he turned back to see a hulking, bearded moose stepping out onto the balcony with him.

"Good evening, Yendrek," Pseudo said, returning his attention to the letters. "Did you enjoy your hunt?"

"Didn't find nothing," Yendrek huffed, shaking his head with a snort before quietly chuckling. "Had to split one of the boys' skulls when he got uppity, though. So that was a barrel of laughs."

"All of which explains the lack of fanfare for your return," the priest mused. Yendrek lumbered forward and sat beside the priest before huffing.

"I heard the sheep found our Avatar," he said before scowling down at the courtyard. "As well as a chance to stab Orgnar in the back." Pseudo gently shook his head.

"One of those sentences is true. This fellow isn't the Avatar," he said, still reading the letters. "Not the Avatar, anyway. Just another being, summoned and imbued with power."

"Whoever he is, he abandoned my cousin to the Equestrians," Yendrek said, spitting over the side of the balcony. "Can I kill him?"

"Quite easily, I believe," Pseudo replied and waved a hand. "But I ask that you not. He may still be of use." The moose grumbled but nodded, before raising an eyebrow at the priest's letters.

"What are those?"

"This is the intelligence my associate in Canterlot had gathered for me, which the dog in the summon's company had for some reason," Pseudo explained, leafing through and scanning the stack again. "My contact managed to discern the Avatar's location from Celestia's nephew, who is apparently a very nosy lad, and very talkative when drunk."

"Nosy?"

"According to my contact, when he was a colt he pressed her, asking about a faint scar along her side," Pseudo turned toward Yendrek as he spoke. "The side the Avatar cleaved her wing from." The moose raised his eyebrows before adopting a smirk.

"And she told him?"

"She showed him," Pseudo declared, turning back to the letters and drawing one from the middle of the stack out. "I believe her time bereft of her sister made her dote on the lad, him being one of her few remaining family members, after all." He scanned the letter he'd drawn for a moment before nodding.

"Ah-hah, speaking of, should our false Avatar fail to meet expectations, we do have an opening to collect the genuine article."

"And that is?" Yendrek pressed, at which Pseudo presented the letter with his finger over one line in particular.

"Her adopted family will be having a wedding soon," he explained as the moose read the line and slowly grinned. "And my contact has learned of certain third parties who will turn that event into quite the fiasco. A perfect opportunity for us to invade, I believe."

Chapter 11

Time was against her, as always.

The Avatar had just been abducted right before her very eyes, the warriors were about to engage the Royal Guard outside, and everyone was in a panic—everyone except for Pseudo, as usual, and the Avatar's friends.

But only because they'd left the courtyard before everything happened. And so, unsure what else she could do, Sugarplum found herself galloping as fast as her legs could push her toward the Avatar's room to find his friends. Luckily, she caught up with them before they'd made it to the room.

"Wait!" She cried, causing the diamond dog and pegasus to jolt and look back at her. Sugarplum slid to a halt and leveled a desperate look at them. "Where are you going? The Avatar needs help!" The dog hummed while the pegasus threw her head back with a groan.

"Crud," she sighed. "Where is he?"

"One of the Elements tackled him off the wall and flew him away!" Sugarplum declared. The pair recoiled and shared a look.

"Welp. Win some, lose some," the pegasus shrugged and turned to leave, followed by the dog. Sugarplum's jaw dropped.

"Win some, lose.. You're a pegasus! You gotta fly after him!" She pleaded.

"And do what? He's caught and cooked," the pegasus replied without turning. "It's not like I like the guy, you know? Plus, I'm not under his curse anymore!" The pegasus laughed and continued with a skip in her step.

"Very sad, but nothing to be done," the dog added, waving back at the stunned unicorn. "We go. Goodbye." Sugarplum stood aghast at the pair and blinked. Watching them walk away while she stood powerless to stop them caused her ears to swivel and her heart to race.

She'd been here before. At least this time, there was something she could do, and so she scowled and drew in a full breath.

"Just a pair of COWARDS," she screamed, causing the withdrawing pair to flinch and look back at her. "You're just as bad as the nobles!" The dog furrowed his brow while the pegasus recoiled and her wings snapped out.

"Hey! How dare you?" She screamed back. "Do you-"

"Shove it!" Sugarplum added before whirling around and galloping back the way she'd come, fighting off the tears in the corners of her eyes. It hadn't been much, but she'd found the strength to do something just then, and knew she couldn't lose the emotional momentum she'd managed.

As she burst back into the courtyard, she immediately rushed for the gate, ignoring the calls of Sash and her other few friends in the Children of Change. Clearing the gate and flying along the bridge, she saw the battle that had erupted. Despite everyone's fears, the warriors were actually pushing the Royal Guard back up the pass, though the guard had split into two groups and were now attacking the warriors from two fronts.

Scanning the valley as she galloped, she saw no sign of the Avatar, but spied the Elements in the midst of the cult's warriors, duking it out with Orgnar and Yendrek. She scowled and charged that way, but stopped when she noticed a guard charging at her.

She set her hooves apart in a low stance and scraped the ground, reading to impale whoever it was with her horn, but once the lone guard was closer, she gasped.

"Sugarplum?" He cried.

"Turnip?" She squeaked. The two locked eyes, completely oblivious to the battle happening nearby.

"What are you doing here?" Turnip asked, trotting closer to Sugarplum. "Why aren't you back home with Uncle Nectar?"

Sugarplum froze at his question and her ears snapped against her skull. Turnip frowned and took a step closer, but before he could say anything, Sugarplum began heaving as a miserable expression overtook her. Turnip recoiled before scrambling to pull her into a hug as she stumbled over and fell into a sobbing fit.

"Hey- What-" He tried, unable to collect his words as the mare screamed and clutched him tight.

"This little pony has been away from home for too long," came another voice which somehow overcame the sounds of Sugarplum's wails. Turnip looked up and froze at the sight of a tall, bipedal thing in white robes with a face hidden behind a metal mask. The thing stretched an arm out and pointed toward the battle. "Head that way and wait thirty seconds. The pass will be open then." Turnip blinked and looked the way the creature was pointing and then back.

"None here will welcome you in that uniform, and I cannot imagine she can handle watching another family member die," the creature explained, at which point Sugarplum's cries intensified. Turnip's jaw hung slightly as he looked down at the sobbing mare and then back at the creature.

"Turnip!" Yet another voice called. He turned to see Snowpea and Violence just behind him with spears leveled at the creature. "What are you doing? Who is that?" He blinked, looked down at Sugarplum, and then frowned with a grunt.

"Sorry, Snowpea," he huffed before slipping the weeping mare onto his back and rushing the way he'd been directed. "Hold on, Sugar!"

"-Then, I woke up here," I finished, leaning back against my cell wall and shrugging. The big, white, winged unicorn with the crazy magic hair nodded thoughtfully at my story. My eyes drifted from her to the lines of angry guards she had at either side, including the one who'd been assigned to guard my books.

Since I woke up, I'd caught on to a few things even before the magical princess popped up. Someone realized my books were magic and would return to me if I misplaced them, so someone came up with a clever solution for that. Instead of taking my books away, they kept them in the same room, where I could still see them. To my immense frustration, it was obviously working.

The book guard who was idly trying to read one of my books, and having no luck if his bewildered expression was any sign, noticed I was staring and then slapped it shut before glaring at me.

"Well, Mr. Fremont, that certainly sheds some light on a few details in Lieutenant Honeysuckle's initial reports I was curious about," the princess declared, drawing my attention back to her. Since she'd arrived and demanded I give a complete account of my time since arriving, she'd worn a serene, even expression. Now though, her face was slightly harsher and judgy. "There is another thing I must ask, however."

"What's that?" I huffed.

"You failed to elaborate on the pact you made with Discord," she explained. "Specifically, what it was he asked of you and what you hoped to gain from the exchange." I winced at her words. Somehow she was already aware of the fact that Discord had summoned me from another world and given me my magic. I assumed she knew something about the whole Avatar business, but she was the first person to declare that my power was also given by the All-mighty Fuck-head. I shrugged.

"He said he could give me wizard powers," I replied. "He didn't say what he wanted and then he fucked off."

"Watch your language!" One of the guards shouted. I stuck my tongue at him, causing him to recoil, and then glare at me with an angry nicker. Sel, uh.. Selma! That was it. Princess Selma frowned at my explanation with a hum.

"'Wizard powers?' What does that mean?" She asked. I frowned and my eyes shifted left and right since I was only barely sure of the answer myself.

"Magic?" I finally replied, haltingly. "Power to study my books and throw spells and shit?" Before the guard could chastise me again, Selma raised a wing at him.

"Fine, but what did you intend to do with such power?" She pressed. I frowned harder and slowly shrugged with my hands.

"Uh. Be.. A wizard for a little while?" I declared. She recoiled with her jaw open.

"One of the greatest magical patrons on this plane offered you a contract, with no declared expectations of service or payment, and you accepted it purely to play at being a magician?" She exclaimed with an incredulous glare. "Without any plan or long-term scheme for what you would do with the power he provided?" I blushed and shrugged again.

"I just thought it'd be cool," I muttered.

"Beg pardon?" She gasped.

"I thought it'd be cool," I repeated. "Isn't that enough?" She sat with her jaw hanging and her wings bristled. Then, suddenly, she sputtered, choked, and began cackling. I flinched at the sight as she stomped her hoof and brought the other one up to her mouth. The guards seemed just as shocked at the display, which lasted for a good minute and a half. Finally, she coughed a few times and paused, letting a few final giggles escape before sighing.

"You are very amusing. I am satisfied," she nodded and turned to her guards. "With the exception of Private Clipper, you can all go." All of the guards except the one holding my books recoiled, and the princess leaned to the guard in the fanciest armor.

"Send for the item we discussed, if you wouldn't mind," she added.

"But Princess!" He cried. "We can't leave you unguarded with this villain!"

"Oh, he's mostly harmless," she replied drawing a frown from me. Harmless. "Off you go!" She gently slapped his back with a wing. He and the rest shared a look before slowly filing out. Suddenly, Selma hummed and raised a hoof.

"Oh, wait just a moment! Lieutenant, please forward this reprimand to Captain Stern," she said, conjuring and hastily filling out a scroll before floating it to one of the guards. "I believe Mr. Fremont's account alongside what Twilight told me supports what she has feared about our dear Lieutenant Honeysuckle's temper." The guard saluted before they resumed their exit.

"Ah, this has been a relief. When I first discerned that Discord had summoned an Avatar, I feared the worst," she said, raising a hoof with a happy smile. "But! While you are perhaps a tad unkind and have a disturbing willingness to engage in unlawful activity, I do not believe you to be an out-and-out villain, Mr. Fremont." I rolled my eyes at her assessment.

"Yeah, well, maybe you should deal with your upper class before you go pointing fingers," I pursed my lips and shrugged. "Or horns, or whatever." She tilted her head.

"Would you care to elaborate what you mean by that?" She asked. I held up my hand and pointed at my fingers.

"These things are called 'fingers,'" I explained and rolled my hands at her. "Pointing fingers means-"

"No, not that," she said holding up her hoof and gently shaking her head. "Your comment on the upper class." I hummed and nodded in realization.

"It's been a recurring theme for a while. I keep bumping into folks who tell me that the ruling class of this place is generally corrupt and awful," I shrugged and gestured at her. "Sneaky told me the nobles get away with stuff 'cause you can't be everywhere, for instance." Private Clipper raised his eyebrows and looked up at the princess, who nodded thoughtfully.

"I see," she said with a smile. "Thank you for clarifying." I blinked and tilted my head slightly.

"You don't seem shocked to hear that," I said and to my enduring astonishment, she shrugged.

"That's because it's true," she said plainly. I stared at her blankly for a bit before shaking my head in disbelief.

"Oh, okay," I huffed and frowned at her. "Yeah, I guess sicking mutilation-happy psychos on the innocent takes precedence over dealing with that."

"Forgive me, Mr. Fremont, but what would you have me do?" She asked, holding her hoof up as she spoke. "I am referring to the corruption of the nobility, to clarify."

"Something? Anything?" I offered.

"Ah, very well thought out," she replied with a subdued giggle. She cleared her throat. "If you will allow, I believe I'd best explain how this land is structured, seeing as you are an Outworlder." I motioned for her to go on, and adjusted my sitting position.

"You've probably realized during your short time here that there are three forms of pony, not counting the form I take. These are the three tribes," she began. "Equestria came to be a single nation when those three tribes unified. When that first occurred, a unicorn princess named Platinum was nearly thrust into the office of monarch for the new country." She held up a hoof.

"However, the princess' aid, Clover the Clever, believed that having a unicorn rule over the other tribes would eventually lead to reigniting segregationist sentiments which ponykind had only just overcome," she smiled with a nod. "So! It was presented to and voted upon by the leaders of all three tribes that Princess Platinum would use her authority and resources to fulfill a peace-keeping duty rather than governing, while each tribe would have its own regional rulers, all of whom would convene and work toward a greater good for the whole country." I scratched my chest and furrowed my brow as she spoke.

"As time passed and definitions became clearer, the Princess would settle disputes between territorial rulers, ratify and offer new laws or policies for the whole country rather than just individual territories, as well as act as supreme commander of the Equestrian military only in times of war," she continued, her hoof swaying back and forth as she named each article of the office's duties. "At all other times, the princess would only have a contingent of guards, levied from the territories of Equestria but which do not in number exceed the policing and defense forces of those territories. Are you still with me?" She tilted her head with a warm smile.

"Yeah?"

"Excellent. Now, while in ancient times the rulers I have so far referred to were themselves ponies of quality character, a sad result of their families becoming entrenched in their positions of authority is an increasing propensity to abuse that authority among their younger generations, who in turn pass that propensity to their juniors," her smile turned sad and she sighed. "So, it should not be a surprise that after several thousand years, those families have become what we find them to be." I squinted and grimaced.

"Sure, but-"

"If I were to act against any one family, the others would invariably perceive it as an overstep of my authority, especially given that I am not technically of a noble house myself," she added causing me to flinch. She nodded. "My sister and I were granted the office in gratitude for our efforts to protect the country, but in truth, we were not even born in Equestria." She looked up as if in thought.

"To avoid antagonizing the other families, we would have to present evidence of any misdeeds to them and to the public, and this I assure you I have attempted to do when I have become aware of injustice," she looked down at me with another sad smile. "But it is a sad truth that the further away from Canterlot you go, the more time certain individuals who will go unnamed have to hide proof of their misdeeds." Her smile was replaced by a sour glare.

"Or, in some cases, even help other families hide their corrupt actions in exchange for favors," her mildly angry expression flipped back to a smile. "Did you know there is actually quite the complex web of political ties born from such arrangements?"

"Sure, but why not just blow them up?" I shot back, shrugging as I spoke. The guard gasped and recoiled, but she just smiled. "I heard you move the sun, so that's gotta be easy by comparison." She laughed in response.

"Oh yes, terribly! But it wouldn't solve anything," she said, shaking her head. "For starters, as I explained, the Canterlot contingent of guards is equal in size to any other contingent throughout Equestria. Thus, any conflict, even one in which I exert my own power, would be drawn out somewhat." She spread her wings and held up her hoof.

"During that time, rumors and lies would fester and spread, and before you know it, the populace has been convinced that my actions were born of greed and malice rather than altruism for their sake," she shook her head with a sigh. "Such is the sad state of things. Many ponies who live under one lord or lady never hear of the misdeeds of their neighboring nobles, and thus presume it is a unique affliction they are troubled by." She smiled again and looked me up and down.

"I am not surprised that, during your brief stint as an outlaw you learned of this from other outlaws. After all, anyone who would realize how widespread an issue this is would quickly find themselves run out of town, if you follow my meaning," she said with a wink. "And there is another issue with that line of thinking, Mr. Fremont." Seeing me furrow my brow, she continued.

"Once one begins to use violence to solve their problems, I have found they can practically never stop. Once you open that door, you must continue down that path, forever," she looked down at her hooves as she spoke. "Every life taken is a loved one for whom vengeance will be sought. Every stallion destroyed is somepony's son or father." There was a pause and she looked off to the side.

"That is no way to secure the lasting peace I desire," she finally said. After another moment, she turned back to me with a smile. "Rest assured, I have something of a plan for dealing with my misbehaving little ponies."

And then her smile was gone.

"But I'm afraid that's not a story for the likes of you," she said firmly. I swallowed and heard the sound of the jail door opening just out of sight. The squeak of a few wheels followed. "I have heard your case, and I determine that while you are not entirely the villain I feared you could be, neither are you entirely innocent." She rose from her sitting position and took a step to the side as a pair of guards wheeled something in.

"And even setting your actions aside, there is an element at play I do not believe you are aware of," she added as my jaw dropped.

"Oh, hello, my star pupil!" Discord chirped as the guards propped his mostly petrified body up. "Excellent work so far!" I sat dumbstruck and slowly looked at Selma for answers.

"As you have gained power in whatever means you may, you have also steadily undone the spell keeping Discord imprisoned," she explained, causing Discord to snicker and me to hold my breath. "As I said, I do not believe you were aware of this, but it remains a fact all the same." I exhaled hard and rubbed my forehead. I looked up and met Discord's smirking face, which I countered with a glare.

"I am willing to offer leniency to you, Victor Fremont," the princess added, drawing my attention back to her. She was now wearing a severe look with her head held high. "However, you must agree to let us sever the connection you share with Discord, which I do not believe we can do without your consent. Such is the nature of such pacts." I frowned and looked back at Discord, who wagged his eyebrows at me.

"What'll that do to me?" I asked Selma. She nodded and extended a wing at Discord.

"You will be restored to your nature before you entered this pact with him," she explained.

"That means no more magic!" He added, causing me to gawp. Selma nodded solemnly, and I felt my head spin.

"I can't go back to being just Victor," I desperately gasped. I held my hands out to her and shook my head. "Things might've been a pain getting used to, but this shit's still magic! You can't just take it away!" I stood up, much to the guards' annoyance, and tried to approach the bars, only for the chains to hold me back.

"Isn't there any other-"

"No, not unless he alters your contract," she interjected. I huffed and held my head. "There is more to life than sorcery, Mr. Fremont."

"Easy for you to say, Ms. Moves-the-sun-with-her-mind," I grumbled, stalking back to my corner and shaking my head. A pause followed, and I peered back to see her looking at me with an unreadable expression. I also saw Discord with a big dumb smirk and his eyes darting between me and her.

"Tell you what," she finally began, closing her eyes as she spoke. "I have some things I must attend to. You stay here and think it over for a little while and in a few days we'll see how you're feeling then." She nodded at the guards who began to wheel Discord away.

"Farewell again, my beloved student!" Discord called. I sank down to the floor, brought my knees to my chest, and just stared ahead. I saw Selma's shoes step up to the bars.

"I'd hate to keep a thinking being locked up forever, Mr. Fremont," she said, bending down to meet my eyes with a sad smile. "But as with many other creatures I have encountered, if you will not allow us to break the spell binding you to Discord, you leave me with no other option."

Celestia stood in thought once the dungeon door was closed behind her. The four guards in the hall with her awaited her orders for what to do with the partially petrified spirit also beside her.

"He may not be as dreadful as the last chap, but he has the same sickness that plagues many of his kind," Discord declared, causing Celestia's wing to bristle. "A hunger. It's one of their most amusing qualities. You should see what they got up to less than a hundred years ago!" She looked over to see him tilting his head up in thought as best he could.

"Well, hm. You know, I think for them it was less than a hundred, but for us, it was closer to several hundred years ago," he offered her a wry grin. "Time dilation is such a tricky thing to keep track of across whole universes."

"Indeed? Well, what do you know about this Pseudo he spoke of?" Celestia asked furrowing her brow and looking down the hall. "Or the Children of Change, for that matter."

"I 'unno," Discord replied plainly. "Didn't have any worshipers back in the day. Most ponies offered me screams and tears as tribute rather than prayer." Celestia nodded with a hum.

"I see. I'll have the guards bring you some of that custard you like," she declared before waving the guards on.

"Oh goody!" The spirit cheered as they wheeled him away.

The painting was even more obnoxious a sight than before. Honeysuckle grimaced and shook her head as she studied the crude display, and was almost relieved when Blueleaf came skipping in. She smiled at her cousin and stood to greet him, keeping her sword side aimed away from him.

"Dear, dear Cousin Honeysuckle!" He cheered, shaking his head with mirth as he stood beside her. "It is so good to- Where's my case?" His expression fell as he looked her over and then turned about, scanning the rest of the room. Honeysuckle snickered and brought her hoof to her mouth.

"Oh! You know? I think I forgot to grab it!" She gasped before shrugging. "Whoopsie!" Blueleaf's jaw dropped and he wheezed.

"WHOOPSIE?! Sei scema?" He cried, causing her to smile. He frowned and then offered a cruel grin of his own. "Maybe you forgot our little deal?" Honeysuckle grinned wickedly and quickly whirled to present her side, drawing her sword in the process. Blueleaf recoiled with a gasp.

"What deal was that?" She asked with a venomous giggle as she wagged her sword through the air. Blueleaf sputtered and stammered before freezing and leaning to look passed her. Honeysuckle lowered her sword and tilted her head at the display.

"Yes, I'm curious what arrangement you two had as well. But that can wait." Honeysuckle tensed up at the voice from just behind her and dropped her sword. Blueleaf smirked at her before stepping to the side and bowing.

"Uncle! Wonderful to see you!" He chirped as Honeysuckle scrambled to pick the sword up and replace it in her sheath. Her ears swiveled nervously as the sound of hooves clicking against the floor approached.

"Blueleaf. Tu me dégoûtes. Leave," the stallion declared as he stepped into Honeysuckle's peripheral vision. Blueleaf hesitated and his expression fell. Fortunately, his hesitation kept the stallion's attention on him, allowing Honeysuckle just enough time to slip the sword into her sheath. She stood at attention and watched as Blueleaf wilted under the stallion's gaze and then slunk away, leaving the two alone.

The stallion, who wore a crimson coat with a short line of medals on his breast, was a white unicorn with a stiff, straight black mane with a few grey stripes, that covered his right eye and hung off that side of his head. Beneath his nose was a curling black mustache, and his one visible eye was hazel, just like Honeysuckle's. And just like Honeysuckle's, it was piercing and seemed set in a permanent, hateful glare.

"Daughter," he said firmly.

"Papa," Honeysuckle replied.

"Explain yourself," he pressed. Honeysuckle tilted her head, but before she could ask, he presented a letter with his magic. He spoke again, but his words came as a low growl. "This was just handed to your superior, who passed it along to me." She flinched and took the letter, reading as far as the first line before gasping. Her father closed his eyes and shook his head with a growling sigh.

"I told you, if you intend to play at a stallion's office, you'd better not make a fool of yourself," he said, casting a critical leer upon his daughter. "But it seems not only did you not listen to a word I said, as usual, but you chose to make yourself a hindrance." Honeysuckle choked and stomped her hoof.

"That's not-!"

"Quiet," he said, causing her to stumble. "Collect yourself, calm that temper, and explain." Honeysuckle swallowed and stood up straight with a deep breath.

"The creature we brought in went out of his way to agitate me, and-"

"And you gave in to its provocations?" Her father scoffed. "Unbelievable." Her jaw dropped before setting in a snarling frown.

"He insulted mother!" Honeysuckle yelled and stomped her hoof.

Thwack

"You will not use her as an excuse," her father spat, lowering his outstretched hoof, though Honeysuckle did not turn her head back. "Then again, perhaps this is her way of testing you, eh? Seeing if you're good enough?" He took a single step closer and leaned toward her ear.

"Do you think you passed her test?" He quietly demanded. "Do you think this behavior made her proud?" Honeysuckle frowned but didn't answer right away. Her father tilted his head and raised his eyebrow.

"Non," she sharply answered.

"Non," he repeated just as if not more sharply. He withdrew and looked her up and down. "Give it to me." Honeysuckle recoiled with a gasp, at which her father narrowed his eyes. The sight caused her to wilt and clench her teeth, and after a moment her head drooped low and she unhooked the belt holding her sheath and sword on. She hovered the sword to her father who roughly snatched it with his own magic before turning and making for the door.

"Attend this disciplinary hearing with your superior, and then we shall see if your little period of playing pretend is up or not," he spat as he trotted away. "And I will see you at dinner."

Honeysuckle sank to the floor. Her ears flicked as she listened for anyone, to make sure she wasn't being spied upon. Once she was satisfied she was well and truly alone, she grunted quietly and looked up at the tasteless painting her cousin had put up, displaying himself as a champion of the Equestrian military.

Chapter 12

I rhythmically tented my fingers as I reclined on my throne and cast a withering glare upon my guests. None of the five men dared look me in the eye and remained in the kneeling posture they'd adopted since arriving. However, one of them dared glance up at the trio of silk-clad elven women I had lounging around my throne.

For this with a flick of my wrist, he was immediately flash-fried. His peers recoiled in terror as one of my elves laughed.

"Excellent shot, my lord," she cooed. I turned to her with a snort.

"Thank you-" I paused as just beyond her was a blue, winged unicorn with crazy, ethereal hair and a puzzled look on its face as it looked me up and down. I shook my head and gestured at it. "Whose horse is this?" It recoiled with a feminine gasp.

"Horse!" She, I was pretty sure, snorted. "The nerve!" I recoiled with a frown but then blinked and looked around. I realized all at once that my throne room was completely featureless and fringed with a white, blurry haze.

"Oh," I groaned, as memories started rumbling to the forefront of my mind and causing the room to warble like jelly. "Man. Can't even be free from you fucks in my dreams."

"Rude," she spat. I leered at her with a raised eyebrow and she rolled her eyes, seemingly guessing my thoughts. "I'm quite real, you crass buffoon. I am Luna, Princess of the Night and guardian of the dreamscape." Her wings snapped out and the entire throneroom washed away from her, leaving us in a hazy void. She fixed me with a sharp glare.

"And I would have words with you." I tilted my head and scanned the void, making a full turn before coming back to her.

"This is a dream, right?" I asked, fixing her with an expectant look. "My dream?" She nodded with a firm grunt. I nodded back and pressed my fingers to my temples, focusing on what my dream had just looked like. I clenched my teeth and strained. She knit her eyebrows and turned her head slightly.

"What are you doing?"

"This is -hn- my dream, so I -hrrrn- maintain the right to keep it how I want!" I replied, still with my fingers pressed to my temples and straining. She rolled her eyes with a sigh and lit up her horn. A cool feeling washed over my brain and the dreamscape shifted to match my mental image. We were back in my throne room with myself back on the throne.

And her changed into the shape of a female elf. She blinked and looked over herself with a bewildered face as I folded my arms.

"Alright, much better," I chortled and nodded at her. "Go on with your words." She fixed me with an incredulous leer before rolling her eyes.

"Very well. I have come unbidden on behalf of my sister, who you were interrogated by earlier this evening, to inspect your unconscious mind," she explained with a hand on her hip. She waved her free hand and a weird, floaty feeling washed over me. I reeled and exhaled hard, holding my head as the room spun around me. "Fear not. I am simply ensuring you do not fall into any nightmares while we speak." I huffed and shook my head.

"Yeah, okay. You nail me with that a few more times and we'll talk as much as you want," I said with a subdued and merry chuckle causing her to perk up.

"You are willing to speak? Excellent. My chief question is simple," she approached the side of my throne and leaned on it before fixing me with a curious leer. "Why are you so reluctant to relinquish your pact-born arcana even if it means remaining imprisoned?"

"Oh, this again?" I grumbled and huffed before propping my elbow on my throne's arm and resting my head in my hand. "Look, I don't expect either of you to really get it, but I've lived a pretty average life if I'm being charitable." I pinched the fabric of the dreamed-up robes I was wearing and traced my fingers along it, enjoying the feel of it.

"It's just kind of frustrating to go from nobody and utterly mundane and boring to actually having something fantastic in every sense of the word and," I grimaced and hummed. "Getting told you have to give it up." She pursed her lips and brought her hand to her chin for a moment.

"At least in Equestria, a creature such as yourself is hardly mundane or boring," she offered, leaning down to look me in the eye. "And given time I'm certain you would rise to become far from a, as you say, 'nobody.'"

"You're certain, huh? Congrats, but I don't have that kind of hope," I snorted with a smirk. "I might be an oddity in your place, but once people get to know me, they'll-" My smile vanished as I caught myself. I screwed up my face as I searched for the best way to word what I was thinking. After a period of silence, she tilted her head and I snapped my fingers.

This was a dream, after all. And I could shape it how I wanted.

"Here, hold on," I said, rising from my seat. I clenched my eyes and dug deep into my memories. It didn't take long to find what I was looking for and when I opened my eyes again, I laughed. "Awesome, it worked." I sat back down, though now my seat was a comparatively plain if comfy common fold-out chair, attached to a long row of identical seats. I patted the one next to me and gestured to Luna who scanned the dimly lit hall we were now in.

"What is this place? A theater?" She asked before sitting and focusing on the curtained stage at the end of the hall. Slowly, the rest of the seats were filled with shadowy and poorly defined human shapes.

"Yeah, watch," I replied pointing at the stage just as the curtain drew back. "Used to see this guy when I was a kid." She sat with her hands folded on her lap, observing as the stage was suddenly filled with smoke that slowly settled to the ground. Suddenly, a pillar of smoke spun up at the very center of the stage and was swept aside like a sheet, revealing a tuxedo-clad man with a red cape in its place.

"Welcome again, my friends!" He began in his boisterous, booming voice, as he did every show. He rolled his hand through the air and to the right before thrusting his open hand up. As he did, bright sparks leaped from his fingers and coiled into the air before vanishing. Then, just as the room went dark again, several bursts of multi-colored light exploded from the points the sparks had vanished in without making a single sound.

Until a few seconds later, when the entire theater rumbled with a series of booms and pops followed by applause.
"Very flashy," she appraised, shielding her eyes from the lights.

"Yeah, I think that's why my eyes are so bad," I replied before laughing. "Worth it though."

"And who is this fellow to you?" She asked as he fell into his normal routine, first by pacing the stage and explaining the dangers of electrical discharges to the human heart.

"Rudolph the Undying. Best stage magician I ever saw," I explained as he hopped off the stage and grabbed one of the electrical cables that were always conveniently exposed before sinking his teeth into it. The lights flickered and there was a droning buzz as he made a show of being electrocuted. I frowned and shrugged. "Of course, ironically he died of lung cancer like eight years ago, but you know." He threw the cable down and thrust his arms upward, spewing smoke from between his smiling teeth as he did so. We watched the highlights of his show that had been burned into my memory for a few minutes before I realized I had conjured this up to make a point. I'd simply gotten caught up in the show like I had when I was younger.

But that didn't matter too much, since he reached the end of his act. He crumpled the knife he'd just pulled from his throat up like paper and tossed it away before turning to address the audience.

"Well, I'm afraid I must leave you again. Remember my friends! Do good and strive to be remembered!" He roared, thrusting his arms to either side. "Remembered at least once a day!" He swept his right arm down with a bow and in the same motion, his cape fell to the ground and he was gone. The audience of shadows began to applaud, but Luna hummed and turned to me.

"Those words must have stuck with you," she declared. I blinked and looked up at her since I'd unintentionally been leaning on my knees with my head held by my hands.

"Huh?"

"Their clarity in your memory speaks to their impact," she explained, fixing me with an even stare. I frowned with a shrug.

"Oh. Well, I dunno about that, but listen," I leaned back and gestured at the stage. "Rudolph up there definitely did leave an impact on me, and not just my eyes. He was charismatic, fun, flashy, confident, all that stuff." I frowned and sighed.

"When people know me for me, that's," I hesitated. "Just not what they see." The theater began to melt away, leaving us sitting on two chairs in a hazy void again.

"I can fake most of that stuff, but I can't keep the act up forever," I added before sitting forward. "Magic though? Even if it's just once a day, that sticks. That keeps people thinking. Keeps people coming back and talking about me."

"Helps them remember you?" She offered, now leaning on the arm of her chair with her head braced against her hand. I furrowed my brow and shrugged.

"Sure?" I replied before waving my hand. "That aside, you can't look at someone who does stuff like Rudolph, or even what I've managed in the past week or so and say they're 'nobody,' you know?" She knit her eyebrows and looked off to the side for a moment before standing up.

"May I?" She asked, gesturing to the void. I blinked and scanned the void before sweeping my hand at her. She nodded and spread her arms out, causing the void to change to a sunny lakeside, while the two of us were now sitting under a tree. She was also a pony again, to my audible disappointment. "There. Now, I believe I understand you a little better. You believe your magic is necessary for your ability to 'define yourself,' yes?" She sat down beside me and swept a wing across the ground, leaving behind a pile of smooth stones.

"Uh," I chewed on her suggestion for a moment before slowly nodding. "Yeah, something like that." I grabbed one of the stones and hurled it at the water.

"Yes, alright," she hummed. "I think I can empathize somewhat." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are you familiar with what transpired between my sister and myself?" She asked and I shook my head. "It was an age ago, but I felt overshadowed by her in, well, every regard." She stared into the water's surface, studying her reflection.

"I felt unwanted, unneeded," she said with a steadily developing scowl. "Uncared for." In an instant, her mood changed and she offered me a smile.

"So, I reinvented myself and," and just like that, she was scowling and gloomy again. "Made poor choices, suffered for them, and was banished." She looked away and into the distance, as I mulled over what she was saying.

"In the end, and only recently relatively speaking, I learned how mistaken I was with my original assessment and could move beyond it," she added before tilting her head and looking at me. "Perhaps you too have made an erroneous assessment about yourself?" I recoiled at her sudden query before scoffing.

"I'm gonna go with nah," I replied, waving my hand. I fixed her with a weary leer. "Dunno the full story with you, but I know myself pretty dang well. And how little I, myself alone, have to offer." I grabbed another stone and hurled it.

"Alright. Regardless, my sister told me you aren't half the villain we imagined you might be, and so it was my hope I could attempt to," she paused and studied the water for a moment. "Well, I hoped if her assessment was true, I could convince you to at least reconsider choosing imprisonment over experiencing what this world has to offer." I frowned and turned to her and she did likewise.

"I hope you at least acknowledge the danger Discord poses, and thus the danger your magic poses," she asked.

"Yeah, and don't get me wrong, the guy's an ass," I sighed, leaned against the tree, and locked my hands atop my head. "But like, c'mon! There's gotta be some kind of compromise." I frowned and studied the empty white space on the fringes of the little lake she'd created.

"I cannot say for certain. We have encountered an Avatar of Chaos only once before," she explained, picking up and shooting a stone out like a bullet with her magic. It struck the water at just the right angle to not even make much of a splash. "Magical experiments upon him following his capture as well as knowledge regarding pacts between higher entities and mortals produced the only information we have to go upon." I leaned forward on my knees and looked at her in surprise.

"Experiments?" I murmured. She shook her head and raised a hoof.

"Nothing cruel, I promise. Simply a few scrying spells and aura readings upon his form," she explained, at which I hummed and relaxed against the tree. Her expression fell as I did. "Though, there were many ponies who demanded cruelties be done upon him."

"That bad?" I asked. She nodded with a dark glint in her eye.

"During his brief stint raising Tartarus within our lands, he engaged in all manner of wickedness. Robbery was his preferred misdeed, but he also performed," she stared off for a few seconds before speaking again in a restrained tone. "Torture of the most unspeakable sort." I recoiled with a sharp exhale.

"Christ," I grumbled, shaking my head. She considered me with a small frown for a moment.

"You and he are quite unalike. You, despite your immorality in certain respects, seem to acknowledge the sapience of our species," she declared before looking off at the water again. "He did not."

"Your sister doesn't seem to care," I retorted, rubbing my wrists as the sensation of the chains binding them in the waking world started to come through. Luna lit up her horn and the sensation vanished completely.

"There are a great many things she agonizes over, but does not let it show," she said with a quiet sigh.

"Right, like doing nothing about the rampant corruption," I said with a scoff. "She says she's got some kind of plan, but didn't feel like sharing." Luna paused and gently rotated a stone in her magic before responding.

"We've spoken of that a few times since my return. Especially after," she paused again before the stone shot out into the water. "My actions, things seem to have escalated despite her best efforts." She stared with an unreadible expression at the spot where the stone vanished.

"She hasn't said as much, but she forgets I can walk the realm of dreams again," she finally said with an even tone. "Her subconscious tells a very different story from what she presents in the waking world." I leaned forward on my knees and she turned to meet my eyes.

"I believe the ponies' reactions to my deeds a thousand years ago have left an impression upon her. While I was not present for any of it, I've since learned that several festivals celebrating my banishment took place, at least one of which is still practiced," she laid her head on her hooves. "And all this despite there initially being only rumor and hearsay about what occurred those many centuries ago." I rubbed my chin and frowned.

"She mentioned something that I think tracks with what you're saying," I rolled my wrist as I spoke. "Something about the little horses buying propaganda about her if she takes action or something." She offered a weary smile and a snort.

"Precisely that, though I wonder if that is an entirely accurate assessment of what would occur or simply what she fears or has been convinced would happen," she took a deep breath and grumbled. "If my sister has one flaw, and that is a generous downplay, it is that she feels inclined to bear her fears and doubts in secret." She raised an eyebrow at me.

"It does lead to her appearing," her mouth sat open for a moment before she closed it as if considering her next words. "Distant, even to her family." I frowned and leaned my head against the tree in thought. As I did, there was a low, droning, metallic rattle and a deep, bassy voice that rolled out over the dreamscape. I furrowed my brow as Luna rose to her hooves.

"Truthfully, I am surprised she has not had any lingering anxieties about her conversation with you," she declared, helping me up with her magic. "You are perhaps less well-spoken and cleaner-shaven, but there is no denying you are the same species as your predecessor."

"Yeah, well, keep digging in her dreams. I'm sure you'll find something about wanting to skin me alive," I sighed, drawing a laugh from her.

"I leave you to your dreams and imminent awakening, Victor Fremont. Once again, I encourage you to reconsider if it is worth remaining locked away," she said, causing me to groan. She brushed my back with a wing. "There is much to experience in this world beyond the walls of your cell. For instance, in just a few days our niece, Mi Amore Cadenza will be wed to Captain Shining Armor." She beamed at the news, but I just shrugged.

"Never cared for weddings, personally."

"Ah-hah, in this we are alike, but this event promises to be unique," an eager light washed over her face and she leaned in to whisper. "We've received word of an external, and as of yet unknown enemy seeking to invade the city, perhaps even during the ceremony. All very exciting, I must confess. Farewell!" She spread her wings out and the entire dreamscape expanded away, leaving me floating alone in a dark void.

The rattling and voice slowly gained clarity, and I blinked before sitting up. I yawned and scratched my chest before raising my eyebrows at the ponies standing at my bars.

"Morning, Goober!" Snowpea chirped. "Time for breakfast!"

"Hello, Mr. Fremont," Twilight greeted warmly, yet evenly.

"Rise'n shine, prisoner," Clipper ordered with his back turned to me as he collected my books from the night guard. I blinked and looked between the three of them before my eyes slowly drifted to the other pony present.

"She's on temperament conditioning to help her master her temper," Twilight explained, nodding at the pony in question. "Part of that is going to be helping keep you fed and cared for while you're in the dungeon until you come to your senses." A Grinch-like smile worked its way across my face.

"Really~," I purred, slowly eyeing up Honeysuckle who had her mane drawn in a bun and hairnet, while her face was drawn into a wide, toothy smile that contrasted her wide, hateful, glaring eyes delightfully.

"Yep! And while she does that," Twilight continued, taking the books from Clipper who quietly whined and hung his head in response. "I am gonna take a look at these." I would have objected, but the opportunity presented to me here was simply too rich to ignore. Snowpea unlocked the cell and Honeysuckle came trotting in, carrying a platter with a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of milk on it.

She roughly dropped it in front of me. "Ahem." Before wincing at Twilight and carefully picking the platter up again and gently setting it down.

"Enjoy, Goobèr," she growled through her clenched, smiling teeth, before turning to leave. I cleared my throat and held up my right hand.

"My good hand was cut off. Makes eating a little challenging," I said once she leered back at me. She paused and her eyes widened, but her smile remained.

"Excuze-moi? What are you implying?" She growled. Snowpea anxiously looked between the two of us, while Twilight was engrossed in my spell book with a furrowed brow.

"I'm saying I need some help eating," I said with a shrug, waving my right hand and letting it go limp. "After you sliced off my good hand." There was a rattling, grinding sound as her smile widened further than seemed healthy.

"You still have the other one," she offered in an even, but deadly tone. "Unless you're asking me to cripple that one as we-"

"Lieutenant," Twilight interjected without looking up and in a thoroughly annoyed tone. Honeysuckle wilted with a sharp hiss before fixing me with a defeated glare. I pursed my lips and hung my head slightly, which caused her to grumble and Snowpea to bite the side of her hoof. After a few moments, Honeysuckle paused, looked at the ground, and then smiled again before approaching. She sat down in front of me and grabbed a spoonful of oatmeal with her magic.

"Say 'ah,' Goobèr," she hummed, hovering the spoon to me. I smiled and vocalized as asked, right until she crammed the spoon all the way into my throat. "Oopsie-daisy! My mistake."

"You-" I hacked, causing her to suppress a giggling snort. "You did that on purpose!"

"You can't prove that," she purred, gently twisting the spoon in the air.

"Lieutenant, don't do that on purpose," Twilight murmured, tilting her head to and fro as she studied my book. "'Interpret Arcana?' Is that what it says?" I paused and leaned around Honey to look at her in surprise. Clipper was leaning over her shoulder to scan the page she was looking at.

"Can you read that stuff?" He asked.

"Kind of?" She muttered. "The characters in the script are shifting around, but I can kind of gauge the meaning since that is staying the same." I swallowed as she continued to scrutinize the page before she sighed and shook her head.

"It's too bad Discord bound these to you, Mr. Fremont," she said returning the books to Clipper who beamed and greedily snatched them. "I'd love a chance to examine them with some of my research equipment, but we can't risk taking them out of your sight." She fixed me with a critical eye for a moment. I frowned at her until Honeysuckle began jabbing me in the cheek with the spoon, then I turned to glare at her.

"Say 'ah,'" she said sweetly, still jabbing me. "Gimme another shot, Goobèr." Twilight laughed at the display.

"Right, you enjoy breakfast, maybe we'll talk later," she declared making her way to the door.

"Bye, Miss Sparkle! Enjoy the wedding!" Snowpea chirped with a wave. Twilight nodded with a big happy smile.

"It's not for a few days, but I'm definitely looking forward to seeing my brother again after being away for so long," she replied before waving and leaving us be. I frowned as she vanished and sat staring at Clipper as he attempted to read my books to no avail. Then, realization hit.

"Is Shaggy Armlock her bro-" Then I gagged as Honey crammed the spoon even further down my throat.

"Whoopsie! My mistake."

Pseudo scanned the pristine, alabaster city in the distance through his spyglass. Even from this distance and with his sight filtered through the glass lens of his tool, his eyes caught the hidden threads of causality that followed each and every one of the guards patrolling the walls and towers, like strings on puppets. A few threads were pulled taut and uniquely thin as if they were set to snap at any moment.

Humming to himself, he lowered his spyglass and scanned the gigantic magical shield encasing the entire place. The shield too had a thread. And it too was taut and about to break.

"Soon," he declared, handing the spyglass to Sash at his side. The sheep took the device and slipped it into his saddle bag, jostling the long knife he had in the process. Sash considered the blade for a moment before shuddering.

"None of you are warriors," Yendrek declared, drawing Sash's eyes to him. The moose stood on Pseudo's other side and was considering the shield with an even glare. "I have to wonder what you hope to accomplish here." Sash frowned and glanced at the ponies beside himself.

"We hope to liberate the Avatar!" He cried, causing Yendrek to turn to him after a moment. "And we might not be as strong as the much revered Moutain Saints and the great Yendrek, but even if your whole clan was gathered here, you couldn't hope to take on all of Canterlot and Celestia!" Yendrek raised an eyebrow and then snorted. Despite that, Sash held his ground and glared up at the moose until Pseudo waved his hand between the two.

"Conquering the Sun and Moon is of no importance," he said. "We simply have to find and invade the hidden chamber they are keeping the Avatar in." Sash and Yendrek shared a look before turning to the ponies beside Sash. One in particular tilted his head, causing his armor to rattle.

"Hidden chamber?" Turnip repeated and shook his head. "I'm pretty sure they'd just stick him in the dungeon, and I can take you there."

"I assure you, neophyte, our Avatar is hidden," Pseudo said, his eyes still locked on the city. Turnip blinked and shared a look with Sugarplum. He winced at the sight of her hoof wrapped around a spear-haft.

"How're we gonna find him then?" She asked without noticing Turnip's attention.

"I have my means, but it can wait," Pseudo explained, waving his hand again. "For now, we must wait for that shield to dispel." Yendrek hummed and considered the city and then the camp of cultists lower on the cliff they were hiding on. The entirety of the Children of Change had gathered and were now waiting anxiously without fires to alert the enemy of their presence or ward off the chilly mountain air.

"How long will that be, do you think?" Yendrek pressed, at which Pseudo tapped him on the shoulder and gestured at the city. The moose looked forward and recoiled.

"Soon," Pseudo hummed as a swarm of tiny black creatures gathered over Canterlot like a storm cloud.

Chapter 13

Snowpea and Clipper stood outside the bars of my cell, their eyes shifting back and forth between Honeysuckle and myself as we engaged in a test of strength.

"Now, now, Goobèr," Honeysuckle mewed as I struggled against the magically floating toothbrush. "We have to get your teeth clean."

"I can handle it!" I gasped, gripping the instrument of terror with both hands. "My right hand's working fine again! Honest!"

"Oh, it's no trouble! Don't tell me you're still skittish about yesterday?" I glared at her, squinting the eye that had been jabbed and splashed with stingy toothpaste. "I told you, it was a spontaneous earthquake! Happens all the time."

"Lieutenant, there wasn't-" Before Snowpea could finish her statement, the entire dungeon rumbled. The four of us froze and looked at the ceiling, from which a few specks of dust and pebbles fell. After a moment, Honeysuckle stamped her hoof.

"HAH!" She shouted, jabbing her hoof at me. Clipper, Snowpea, and I stared at her as she held her triumphant pose for a few seconds before she flinched and ripped her hairnet off. "Right. Private, stay with the prisoner. I think whatever that was supersedes this directive."

"Yes, Ma'am," Clipper replied with a salute. Snowpea and Honeysuckle moved for the door to my cell and I held my hands out.

"What about breakfast?" I pleaded. Honeysuckle laughed aloud as she and Snowpea galloped out of sight. I grunted a sigh and shook my head. Clipper sat down and continued to try and read my book, screwing up his face and turning it over as I rolled onto my back.

He and I sat in silence for a few minutes as I thoughtfully drummed my stomach. Then, like lightning striking me in the brain, a thought appeared.

"Want me to explain it to you?" I casually offered. I saw Clipper pause through my peripheral and looked up at him, raising both eyebrows. "You seem pretty curious is all."

"Nice try, Pal," he snorted, clapping the book shut and stacking it with the others. "I know you're not allowed to have them."

"Sure, but I can read the symbols to you through the bars," I said. He pursed his lips and looked down at the stack. "Or not. No skin off my nose. I need to physically hold them to use 'em, you know?" He paused and tilted his head.

"Really?" He asked. When I nodded he furrowed his brow and studied the stack for a few moments. Finally, he nodded and approached the bars with my spell book. He opened it and pressed it against the bars. "What's this say?" He gestured to one line and I restrained a smirk upon seeing he'd opened to the second-tier list.

"That one is," I hummed and pursed my lips as I scanned the list for anything useful. "Levitate. It makes the caster float up at a slow pace and keeps lifting them for around an hour or so." He leaned forward slightly and squinted as he tried to read the shimmering runes.

"Huh. That's kinda dumb," he murmured before adjusting the book and looking at me. "What about the line under it?"

"Phantasmal Forces, which makes really convincing illusions," I explained, smirking as I found something especially handy. I quickly memorized and unleashed it.

"That's neat. And the next one?" He asked before jumping as my spell took hold, and I ripped the chains holding me back from the wall. Before he could escape, I snapped forward and seized him through the bars, hefting him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Strength. Greatly increases the caster's muscle mass," I explained with a dark grin, flexing one arm which strained the fabric of my short sleeve and caused him to squeak. "You follow me?"

"Heads up!" Rainbow shouted, calling everyone's attention skyward where more changelings came raining down from high above where the protective shield had once been. The girls swerved out of the dive-bombing creatures' path, continuing their mad gallop to the tower at the opposite end of the plaza.

"Guess you were right about Cadance," Applejack declared, leaning her head forward to catch up to Twilight. Once they were neck and neck, she gave the unicorn a remorseful smile. "Reckon we owe you an apology." Twilight shook her head in response.

"Forget about it! We just need to clear a path to the Elements!" She declared, glaring ahead at the rapidly expanding wall of changelings sneering and jeering as she and her friends approached.

"Right!" The rest yelled back. However, just as their unified cry rang out, the six slid to a halt as the line of changelings was suddenly engulfed in green flames which rolled up and left behind a horde of the girls' exact doubles.

"What the heck? How'd they do that!?" Rainbow gasped.

"They're changelings, remember?" Twilight replied, adopting a low stance and aiming her horn at the horde.

"They're changelings, remember?" The countless Twilight doubles added. She recoiled for a moment before scowling.

"Don't let them distract you and don't get separated!" She said taking up her stance again. Her friends nodded firmly and did likewise. Except for Fluttershy, who was so busy anxiously scanning the horde that she was the first to notice the looming shadow being cast over the plaza.

"What's that?" She nervously asked. Before anyone could respond or turn to her, there was a sudden eruption of debris and ichor as something huge and heavy slammed down into the changelings. Recoiling from the sight, the ponies gasped as a large bearded moose slowly stood to his full height, easily three times their size.

"Drat, just a batch of bugs," he rumbled, shaking his beard and grinding one of his gargantuan hooves into one of the creatures he'd crushed. The ponies and changelings all stood aghast at the beast as he hummed and scanned the entire plaza with an even, casual leer. "Guess I just gotta keep stomping till I find the real set, huh?" The changelings all bared their teeth while Twilight swallowed at his threat. Then, the moose took a single breath through his nose and let it out in a bone-shaking howl that was immediately followed by him sweeping his antlers low.

Despite the open battle taking place between the royal guard and the changeling invaders, the entire lower city paused as the horn-like roar echoed out from the castle's plaza. Changelings and guards alike cast a fearful glance toward the castle before steeling themselves and resuming their brawl.

The combination of chaotic happenings also meant none of them immediately noticed the motley band of mismatched creatures who came trotting right through the main gate of the city.

"Heavens above! Did you hear that?!" Sash quailed, his knife dropping from his jaws in the process.

"Sounds like Yendrek's laying into something," Orgnar replied with a snort before turning to the rest of the cult. "And that's where we need to be! Follow me!" The moose let out a comparatively weaker roar before charging toward the castle.

"Yendrek? How do you know that?! He ran off before we even made it to the gate!" Sash demanded, spinning about as many of the cult's warriors nearly trampled him to follow Orgnar. "And where's Pseudo?! He said to attack the city and he'd meet us inside!" The sheep let out an exasperated groan as he was ignored.

"Unbelievable," he muttered. However, before he could grumble more, a hissing buzz croaked out from behind him. Turning with a shiver, he wilted at the sight of a changeling diving through the air at him, only for it to be stabbed through the belly and driven to the ground with a spear.

"Grab that knife, Sash," Turnip ordered as he twisted and dislodged his spear. The stallion turned to the smaller cultists who hadn't followed Orgnar, and pointed at the unmoving creature beside him. "Changelings have tough shells so aim for the eyes and underbellies!" The ponies and single sheep around him swallowed at the sight but nodded and clutched their simple wooden spears and knives anxiously. Sugarplum looked over the group before stepping beside Turnip.

"You did this a lot while you were away, huh?" She asked with a severe quaver, avoiding looking directly at the changeling.

"This? No," Turnip replied, shaking his head and gesturing at the body. He took a short breath and adopted a confident smile. "But I've tussled with plenty of brigands since I left home. Just follow my lead." His smile wavered and gave way to a scowl as several distinctly nonchangeling yelps filled the air.

Turning, he saw Orgnar trample his way through a small circle of royal guards who were then pounced upon by the diamond dogs and griffins following the moose's wake. He winced and turned away, clenching his eyes shut as his fellow guardsponies were cut down. He suddenly felt all the weight of his armor, like when he'd first signed on a few years prior.

"Turnip?" His eyes shot open and he turned to meet Sugarplum's teary, uncertain eyes. She couldn't help but glance past him at the violence taking place, but her eyes kept snapping back to him as though he was an anchor amidst the chaos around them both. Scanning the rest of the group nearby, their eyes told a similar story.

"Aw, heck," he thought with a grimace. "I really don't have the luxury to hesitate anymore, do I, Uncle?" With that thought, he took a deep breath and furrowed his brow.

"Just follow my lead," he reiterated before turning and charging. He kept his eyes forward and his spear balanced on his shoulder, never once stopping to look back. And after just a moment, the sound of many following hooves met his ears. While Orgnar and his butchers were storming along Main Street, where plenty of ponies and changelings were fighting, Turnip banked right and led his group along the southeastern wall.

The fortification wrapped toward the mountain and where it met the rockface, there was a narrow stair leading up to the castle plaza. Turnip hadn't been involved with the Children for long, but he'd picked up that if anyone had an idea of where Pseudo had run off to, it would, unfortunately, be Yendrek.

"Least we'll show you up by beating you there, Orgnar," he thought with a bitter smirk. As the wall circled inward, he turned his head to make sure no one had been grabbed by any lurking changelings or guards. Luckily, as he expected, the fighting was focused toward the center of the city, and there wasn't anyone-

"Turnip?"

"Corporal?"

He jolted and slid to a halt before looking forward to find Snowpea, Violence, and the Lieutenant standing in his path, all wearing identical surprised expressions.

"Wha-" Was all he could utter before he was bowled over by the train of followers he'd been leading.

"What?" He heard Honeysuckle squawk over the groans and gripes of the pile resting atop himself. "You are in cahoots with these villains?" He scowled and grunted before prying himself free and staring her directly in the bangs.

"I am now after what I heard happened to Uncle Nectar," he replied, panting. He frowned and glanced back at Sugarplum, who managed to poke her head out from the pile but was too dazed to realize what was happening. "What Equestria let happen." Honeysuckle leaned her head back with a hum while Snowpea and Violence shared a glance.

"You've mentioned him. He was caring for you and your sister after the accident, yes?" Honeysuckle asked. When Turnip firmly nodded she tilted her head. "What happened to him?" Sugarplum jolted and averted her eyes at the question, while Turnip scowled once again, though with more fire in his eyes than previously.

"It happened after Baron Whole Grain convinced me to sign on with the guard to cover some of the farm's debt."

Despite the battle roaring through the city, Pseudo was unharmed. Changelings who attempted to tackle him crashed into each other in the air or were skewered by thrown spears. Guards who tried to stop him were themselves beset by changelings who any onlookers would have sworn weren't there a moment prior.

Even the stampede of panicking townsponies once he reached the castle did not hinder him. In fact, upon getting a look at him, the already terrified ponies parted around him or fell to the ground and cowered. And so, as chaos consumed the city, the prophet waded through to the castle like a stone splitting the flow of a river.

Rounding a corner for no reason other than a slight breeze from an open window pulled his robe in its direction, he passed a pair of changelings who were holding down and restraining a guard, who thrashed suddenly and kicked one of them in the eyes, sending them sprawling and clutching their face and forcing the other to redouble their efforts to pin him. The trio were so distracted that they completely failed to notice him as he slipped up and bent to quickly snatch a ring of keys off the guard in one swift movement.

Sliding the keys around the ring, he held up one in particular and hummed before turning to the door he'd just arrived at and passing inside. He found a long natural rock passage that sloped down and was naturally decorated with faintly glowing ruby crystals.

There was no plan. There never was. Chaos would provide or it would not.

"Well now, this is a surprise," Discord hummed as Pseudo rounded a corner for no reason other than a crystal in the corner itself shimmered and caught his eye.

Today, it provided in spades and Pseudo approached Discord with his head bowed and his arms stretched to the side.
"It is an honor to see you in person, O Spirit," he declared. Discord beamed and raised his head in pride as best he could.

"Yes, yes it is," he replied, basking in the reverence for a few moments. Or perhaps a few minutes. Eventually, he opened one eye and looked over the creature before him. "You are an interested specimen. Were you born this way, or?"

"An inherent gift, yes," Pseudo replied, still with his head bowed and in the same posture. "Perhaps an echo of your actions in the distant past is responsible, but I cannot say. Instead, and I beg your pardon, I must make a request."

"Shoot," Discord hummed.

"Within this city is hidden your first Avatar, sealed in stone as you partially are now," the prophet replied without looking up, causing Discord to raise an eyebrow. "I know where he is kept, but lack the power to-"

"Hold out your paws," Discord hummed. Pseudo did so immediately, at which point Discord snorted and gurgled before spitting into his palms. "There. Apply it like a salve. Off you go!" Pseudo carefully cupped his hands and bowed his head deeper before withdrawing. He quickly and carefully wandered on through the caves. Despite the bends and twists he came across, he never once looked back or hesitated, at least until he came to a long corridor, where a single white-coated pony stood, driving a crowbar into the stone itself.

"C'mon," he grunted through his teeth which were clamped on the bar. "C'mon."

"Your correspondence suggested it was magically sealed and required a key," Pseudo declared as he approached. Blueleaf yelped in panic and tumbled over, covering his head with his hooves as the crowbar clattered to the ground and produced an echoing clang through the caves. After a moment, long enough for Pseudo to approach and stand over the pony, Blueleaf peeked out and then shot to his hooves.

"Lord Pseudo!" He gasped, looking the creature up and down. "How- When-" He gasped and shook his head.

"My letters to you were stolen, how-"

"Chaos provides or it does not. Haven't you learned?" Pseudo interjected. Blueleaf adopted a disgruntled expression and sighed.

"Fine, whatever," he muttered before kicking the wall he'd been prying at. "Well, anyway, with all the chaos happening up there in the city, I figured I might as well see if I can get the big boy out." He beamed up at Pseudo.

"But, since you're here now, you must have some idea how we can get in!" He declared. Pseudo extended his pinkie and let the ring of keys slide to the ground.

"Chaos provides or it does not. Try the long one cover in the spirit's spit," he replied. Blueleaf recoiled from the ring with a heaving gag.

"Covered in WHAT?"

"I believe you wanted an opportunity to prove how bold you were to the country, despite failing Equestria's officer's curriculum," Psuedo offered, tilting his head. "Surely this is not enough to dissuade you from your goal?" Blueleaf's jaw dropped before he adopted a firm scowl and bared his teeth at the prophet. Pseudo maintained his posture and said nothing as the pony glared at him, until finally with a grimace and a disgusted grumble, he carefully picked up the key ring with a shiver.

Turning to the rock wall, he aimed the ring with his teeth and manipulated the key with his hoof, guiding it to a specific divet in the stone he'd been prying at. As the key's teeth made contact, the rock itself seemed to peel back revealing a large door made from a single piece of crystal and held fast by a large, golden lock right where the key was touching.

Blueleaf twisted the whole ring with his head and the lock let out a heavy clunk. The door shimmered and crackled with magic, causing the pony to yelp and dive back leaving the key in the lock. Pseudo watched with an even stare as the crystal door slowly slid inward on its own. Just beyond was a little cave, mostly bare except for a single statue set in the very center.

Stepping inside, Pseudo gently laid his palms upon the statue and applied Discord's spit as instructed. Blueleaf recoiled with visible disgust, before stepping into the room after him. At first, when Pseudo withdrew, nothing happened. But then cracks began to form. There was no sound, and instead, it seemed like the stone was crumbling away like sand, gradually leaving behind a creature who fell forward and caught himself on his hands and knees.

The creature coughed and heaved for a few moments before breathing quietly. Blueleaf's jaw hung open slightly and he quietly gasped at the sight.

"Welcome, O Avatar of Chaos," Pseudo declared with a deep bow. The Avatar froze before looking up at him and then rising to his full height.

The Avatar was a head or half-head taller than a minotaur, but just as broadly built. He was dressed all in black with a collection of knives and other things stuck in his belt, though the buttoned shirt he wore was split apart, exposing his bare chest and the lattice of poorly healed scars and odd-looking pockmarks that decorated his body. With one notable exception his bare face, neck, and arms were a deep, leathery tan compared to his paler chest, but were just as scarred and his left arm bore a swirling blue mark up its length.

His eyes were dark and sunken, matching the rest of his face which despite no longer being petrified seemed frozen in a perpetual and loathsome sneer. His entire head was framed by a vast and natted mane of blue-black hair which flowed down into a beard that was twisted into several tight locks.

But then there was the exception to his face. The left side was mostly free of hair and was colored a harsh, patchy red as though a hot iron had been raked across or pressed against his head at some point before his imprisonment. Despite how painful it looked, he seemed completely unfazed and even reached up to scratch at the scalded patch without flinching.

"And who the Devil are you?" He demanded with a shockingly warm and inviting voice.

"I am Pseudo, and I have set you free," the prophet explained, maintaining his bowed posture. "I expect nothing in exchange. Do as thou wilt." The Avatar looked him up and down before humming.

"This I do much appreciate, Pseudo," he replied tilting his head slightly. "You wouldn't happen to be associated with that infernal serpent, would you?"

"If you refer to Discord, then yes," Pseudo replied evenly. The Avatar scoffed and shook his head.

"Knew it," he chortled, scratching at his burn. The Avatar snorted before laughing and tapping the side of his face. "I tell you, I have been burned several times before, by flame and by exposure." He turned to Pseudo and nodded with a smile.

"But that alabaster witch-horse did leave an impression upon me. This shall be peeling for days," he laughed heartily before suddenly going silent and locking eyes with Blueleaf who wilted at the attention. The Avatar pointed at him. "You, Sir, seem most abjectly out of place compared to this miscreant. What is your name, my son?"

"Blueleaf, uh, sir!" The younger stallion replied before clearing his throat. "M-may I ask yours?"

"Blueleaf! Hah! I like that," the Avatar chortled, rubbing his chin and nodding. "Bluueleafff. A very good mouth-feel with that. Here is my thought process. I have just shy of one million names, most of which won't mean anything to you, Blueleaf. So! We'll use the one I perceive has the best harmony with your own. How about that?" Pseudo watched on in silence Blueleaf tilted his head.

"H-harmony?" Blueleaf murmured.

"Sure! Yours starts with a b and an l, mine starts with a b and an l!" The Avatar declared, sweeping his arms out. "Yours has two syllables and so does mine!" He paused and screwed his face up in thought for a few moments before shrugging.

"Mine has a color, yours has a color," he grinned wickedly and bent at the hips to meet Blueleaf at eye level. "A match made in heaven! Do you follow me, my son?"

"Ah, I think? W-what name was that again?"

"Ah, Blackbeard, if you please," he replied with a noise somewhere between a venomous growl and a deep mirthful laugh. As Blueleaf managed a meager smile in response, Blackbeard drew a long wooden pipe from his belt and clasped it between his smiling, crooked teeth.

Author's Note

Chapter 14

Sash nervously glanced from the gathered cultists to the guardsponies Turnip was relaying his story to and then up at the sky, where changelings, pegasi, and a few griffins were still doing battle. He anxiously bit his hoof but said nothing. The cultists for their part sat in a loose semi-circle behind Turnip as he paced and explained what had happened to Sugarplum once he left home. One of the mares had a hoof gently upon his sister's back, as she hid her face under her own hooves and quietly wept.

"Good gracious," Honeysuckle finally gasped, shaking her head. "I-I'm so sorry." Turnip grunted and sat on the ground.

"Not your fault," he murmured with an angry scowl. Honeysuckle frowned and glanced at her two other companions. Violence had removed his helmet and held it to his chest with a reverent glare aimed off to the side, while Snowpea stood with a hoof to her mouth and her eyes clenched shut.

"'Bad Teeth,' hm? I've heard that name before," the lieutenant hummed before turning back to Turnip. "Well, I might not have had anything to do with it, but I think I can come up with a few things we can do in response." The stallion shook his head.

"We already have a plan, Lieutenant," he replied, standing and fixing her with a steely glare. "We're going to bust Goober out of the dungeon, and get him back to the fort in the badlands." Honeysuckle's lip twitched at his words.

"Once we're there, Pseudo will guide our next steps. He swears things will be better for us both then," he added with a firm nod. Honeysuckle took a sharp breath and clenched her teeth for a moment before sighing.

"I," she screwed up her face and grunted. "I offer my sincerest condolences, but when it comes to that foul creature, I just can't-"

"The heck's going on here?" The entire gathering jumped and looked up to see a trio of armed guardsponies approaching from further up the path Turnip had been guiding the cult. At their head, in purple plate armor with golden fringes was a severe-looking pale yellow pegasus mare, who sneered at the gathering, and especially Turnip. "I thought you went AWOL, Corporal?" Turnip shivered under her gaze, while Snowpea, Violence, and Honeysuckle stood at attention. The mare stepped away from her two companions and fixed Honeysuckle with a firm glare.

"And you have some explaining to do, Lieutenant," she declared. Honeysuckle swallowed and saluted.

"Captain Stern, Ma'am!" She lowered her hoof and resumed her stiff posture. "Corporal Turnip was just explaining himself, Ma'am. His uncle was-"

"I could've guessed as much. But who cares about that?" Stern groused and rolled her eyes. "What I want to know is, what the heck are you doing up here?" Honeysuckle's mouth opened and closed as she processed the question.

"Quoi?" She finally replied.

"Quoi?" Stern repeated in a high-pitched voice to the amusement of her companions. Snowpea and Violence shared a look but maintained their posture. "You heard me, Lieutenant. You're supposed to be nannying that thing in the dungeon until further notice." Honeysuckle furrowed her brow and turned her head slightly.

"The city is under attack, Ma'am," she explained in a perplexed tone. Stern snorted and rolled her eyes.

"And you think that excuses you for abandoning your post?" She huffed before smirking at her companions who smirked in response. "Boy oh boy, wait till Goldflame hears this." Honeysuckle swallowed and murmured.

"Wh-what does my father have to do with this?" She asked with a barely restrained quaver. Stern offered a purse-lipped smile and tilted her head.

"Not much, just figure he'll be thrilled to hear I'm putting forward the request to have your contract terminated and a dishonorable discharge slapped on your record is all," she explained, causing Honeysuckle to blanch, Violence to wilt, and Snowpea and Turnip to gasp. Sash meanwhile scowled and adopted a firmer posture. "He was pretty danged opposed to keeping you in this long anyway, but hey! Princess was adamant about giving you a second chance." Stern shrugged while Honeysuckle stammered.

"Great job spoiling that, Moneybags," one of the other guardsponies chortled. Honeysuckle snarled and glared at him.

"I told you not to call me that," she hissed, stepping toward him before relaxing and turning to Stern with a frown. "Captain, you aren't serious? I don't-" She squeaked when Stern jabbed her in the chest with a hoof.

"Dead serious, Rich Girl. You upper-class types are all the same. It ain't bad enough that you're trashing civil society, you all think you're hot stuff and gotta roll into my military and gunk up the works," Stern said with a tone of thorough contempt before donning a bitter smile. "I'll grant you this! You're smarter than most of the dregs we get." And then her smile was gone.

"But a pampered brat is a pampered brat," she punctuated her words by jabbing Honeysuckle again. "Brat." The lieutenant slowly shook her head in disbelief.

"I-"

"It's a dang shame I'm not in Captain Armor's office," Stern mused turning away from her before casting a glare back over her shoulder. "If it was up to me, we'd've barred you from ever taking the exams once we saw how inept that cousin of yours is." Honeysuckle shuddered with a growl.

"Do not compare me to that imbécile," she hissed, stomping toward the captain and jabbing a hoof at her. "I am a warrior like my mother." Stern raised an eyebrow and the two glared at each other for a few moments.

"Yeah? Well, unless you're eager to take up mercenary work or banditry," she finally replied, leaning forward with an even, annoyed expression. "Not anymore, you're not." Honeysuckle maintained her glare for a few seconds more before whimpering quietly and withdrawing with her ears back.

"Please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," she pleaded, turning her head away. "Do not do this. Please." Stern raised and tilted her head with a smirk.

"You can beg better than that," she declared. Honeysuckle grimaced, and clenched her eyes shut. When she opened them after a moment, she found herself looking directly at her shocked subordinates. Snowpea's eyes darted between her and the captain while Violence held his even stare on Honeysuckle. She grimaced again and looked at Stern, who wore an expectant smirk.

Honeysuckle whimpered and then hugged the ground, pressing her horn to the street.

"Please," she begged quietly. "Please, don't. Please." A heavy silence gripped the street for what felt to her like an eternity. She clenched her eyes firmly and braced to plead once more.

"Yeesh, what kind of warrior debases themselves like that?" One of the captain's companions chortled. Honeysuckle's eyes shot open and her head snapped up in shock. Stern was looking down at her with a wide, cat-like grin.

"Well, she did say she took after her mom," she said, looking back at her companions with a snort. "Maybe that's what Flame saw in her." Honeysuckle's eyes widened and her jaw hung slightly. Stern hummed and rocked her head back and forth.

"Anyhoo, I recommend you find someplace to scurry off to. This is an active warzone, and while I don't have time to arrest you, I'd hate for you to get hurt, Princess," Stern said with a mirthful laugh. Then she gasped in realization. "Oh-hoh! Speaking of~, daddy dearest told me what he'd rather you be doing right now instead of taking up space in my battalion." She bent down beside Honeysuckle's head.

"Wanna hear it?" She quietly asked before inching closer and whispering into Honeysuckle's ear. The unicorn's eyes widened at her words and the captain withdrew to her full height. "Ain't that a treat? Guess you can look forward to that, huh?" She laughed before fixing the cultists with a sharp glare, causing all but Turnip and Sash to shudder.

"As for all of you, I recognize those dumb robes," she suddenly snapped to a low stance with her wings spread, revealing them to be equipped with vicious-looking razor blades. "So, if you're looking for a fight, step on up." The group wilted at the sight and whimpered as she scanned them.

"No? Well," she relaxed her wings and turned away. "Count yourselves lucky we've got orders to hold the road further up." She and her followers began trotting away back the way the three had come.

"So if any of you are keen to get hurt, you know where to find us!" She called as they slipped further and further away. Sash took a few steps forward, tracking the trio as they left with a firm glare, while Turnip, Snowpea, and Violence shared a look and moved to Honeysuckle's side. The unicorn lay on the ground with her head raised and a tight, tiny frown on her face.

"Lieutenant?" Turnip said.

"Que dois-je faire?" She desperately croaked. She heaved a breath and looked up at him. "What do I do?" Turnip flinched and his eyes darted around as he searched for a reply.

Then the entire group jumped again, as a resounded boom roared from the castle. Casting their attention upward, they all watched in abject shock as one of the upper turrets fell free as if it had been blasted off from the rest of the building.

Chrysalis hummed in delight at the encased and dazed form of Celestia her changelings were currently adhering to the wall high above the stage where Cadance and Shining Armor were set to take their vows. Now, the pink alicorn and Spike stood glaring with her hooves glued to the floor by green slime and her fiance just beside her with a dazed, hypnotic light in his eyes. The largest drone buzzed away from the rest and tilted its head to and fro before looking down at the queen.

"A little to the left!" She ordered.

"You're not going to get away with this!" Cadance cried, at which Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Twilight and her friends will-"

"Will what?" The queen purred, fluttering up to the alicorn with a tilted head. "According to my changelings, whoever those annoying robed cretins are, a few of them have actually targeted little Twilight Sparkle and company."

"They're attacking Twilight?" Spike whimpered, clutching his claws together. "Why?"

"Who knows? Who cares," Chrysalis tittered, bending forward and raising Spike's chin with a hoof. "Because in the end they will all be destroyed!" She cackled and swept her foreleg out at the changelings above.

"Go forth! Feed! Destroy!" She commanded. The bug-like creatures hissed and chittered before zooming through the open windows and into the city below. Chrysalis took a deep breath as a warm smile graced her features. Cadance recoiled with disgust as a melody began to drift through the room.

The changeling queen rested a hoof on the window sill and smiled down at the city, where her changelings were busy terrorizing the locals.

"~This day has been just perfect~" She began.

And then the door to the hall was kicked open, causing the melody to halt with a single, sharp discordant thunk. All eyes snapped to the doorway where three creatures stepped in. One was a pony, another was a robed figure like those attacking the city, and the third.

The third was something huge, hairy, and dreadful.

"Now that is a charming assessment to which I offer but a single amendment," the larger creature chirped as he led the other two in. Once he reached the center of the room, he wagged one of his great, tanned claws at the encased alicorn high above. "That one and I have some unfinished business." Chrysalis hissed and stepped away from the window.

"What in the world are you supposed to be?" She demanded. The creature smirked and brushed his knuckles on his chest.

"Amicable for first impressions, I suppose. But you keep talking and we'll see how quickly that changes," he replied, a toothy smile spreading across his face. "But as for who I am, that would be Blackbeard." He suddenly bent sideways at the hip and beamed down at the pony.

"Right, Bluuueleaf?" He chortled. The pony wilted and swallowed.

"Y-yessir!" Blueleaf whimpered. Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at the two and then glanced at the robed figure, who said nothing and simply stared back.

"Blackbeard, hm?" The queen hummed before fixing Blackbeard with a sharp glare. "You clearly don't realize the peril you are in."

"Likewise," he laughed. Chrysalis snarled and stomped her hoof.

"Any other clever quips before I find myself with slightly less annoyances?" She hissed, tilting her head as a fang-filled smile spread across her face. The creature stared evenly at her for a moment.

"Fewer," he finally replied. Chrysalis' eye twitched and her expression transformed all at once to a twisted, snarling hateful glare as she leaped toward Blackbeard. Blueleaf cried out and dove away, while the robed figure took a few steps to the side.

The creature held his hands out to either side as the queen thrust her horn at him and unleashed a massive blast of magic that screamed forward and completely consumed the creature before rolling back to the throneroom doors. The air was charged and crackled in the attack's wake and thick black smoke filled the air.

Chrysalis landed just before where Blackbeard had been and stuck her nose up with a humph, before shifting her attention between the robed one and Blueleaf, the latter of whom hugged the ground in fear, drawing laughter from the queen. Cadance clenched her eyes and turned her head away while Spike nervously chewed his claws.

Then another laugh drew all their attention forward, where Blackbeard stood unphased, with his thumbs in his belt, as the smoke dissipated, revealing a scorched trail along the floor as though the beam had split on contact with the creature.

"How?" Chrysalis gasped. His response came in the form of his hand clenching around her face and then wrenching her from the ground. With one mighty tug, he swept her back and hurled her away. The changeling queen plunged through an open like a bolt and sailed on for a period after that, leaving behind three faint rings of disrupted air in her wake. Seconds later, the room rattled with an ear-splitting kaboom which shattered all the window panes.

While everyone else hit the ground, clutching their ears, he smirked and leered through the hole he'd made at the sight of a tower the queen had smashed into being snapped off from the impact. Then, his attention slowly drifted to the cocooned alicorn hanging above.

"Whoa-hoh-ho," I hummed, leaning through the window to get a better view of the huge chunk of castle that just got blown off somewhere higher up. A drawn frown came to my face as I watched the huge hunk of masonry fall to the city below and smash a couple of houses in before I whistled and turned away. "Crazy how not my problem that is. Where was I?"

I paced back to the center of the kitchen, where all the, and I hate to admit it, cute little pony maids and butlers were sleeping in a cute little pile after I nailed them with my spell. The weird-ass bug horses were.. An acquired taste as far as looks went, but they had some aesthetic value, I guess.

I sat with a grunt on the big, food-laden table they'd been scrambling around when I barged in and scooped up a handful of the huge ass cake beside me.

"Lesh shee," I hummed with my mouthful. I might not have had my notes anymore, but I still remembered roughly how the math worked out for each spell.

So, I knew my Strength spell would keep me buff for a staggering eight full hours. Solid as all hell and more than made up for the fact I'd already blown my only second-level spell for today. After blasting this group with Sleep, I still had two more first-level spell uses today. For safety's sake, I doubled up on Sleep, but I'd yet to choose my last spell.

"Missile or shield. Missile. Or shield," I hummed. One of the maids nearest to me stretched her legs with a demure little squeak before curling up again. I jabbed my finger at her with a hiss in my wizard voice. "Don't distract me, Wench." She furrowed her brow and sat up with a grunt.

"Wha'dju call me?" She groggily demanded before slowly blinking her eyes open. I choked and bent forward, carefully caressing the top of her scalp and drawing a happy hum from her as she leaned into my hand.

"Shh, back to sleep," I whispered. "Back to sleep." She hummed again and slowly curled up on the floor before snoring after a few seconds. I withdrew and blew a puff of air in relief. Then I blinked when I saw one of the weird bug horses hovering in front of me with my books in its teeth. I narrowed my eyes and slowly pointed at it.

"Where'd you come from?" I demanded in my wizard voice. The thing pointed its leg at the window I'd been leaning out of and left open. I hummed and nodded slowly. "I see." We stared at each other for a moment.

"Relinquish my tomes," I demanded. It shook its head and grabbed them with its hooves.

"Heard from the guards while I was disguised and spying on everybuggy that these are the source of your power," it chirped in a feminine voice before fixing me with a smirk. "I've been looking for you all morning so I could get them to the queen." I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head as I prepared to huck my sleep spell.

"The queen? Who-" And then I sprung up and thrust my hand at her. To my immense surprise, she managed to shoot toward the window faster than my spell and then darted upward once she was outside. I screamed through my teeth and rushed for the window, noting that the little magic sheep the spell took the form of bounced back to meet me and wrapped back around my hand. "Oh, thank God."

I stuck my head out the window and peered up to see the bug scurry into a window two floors up. I grimaced and ran for the door, grabbing the spear beside it that I'd stolen from Clipper. Casting aside my natural, warlock instincts, I embraced my inner cave-man and stomped down the corridor with both hands on my spear, pointing it straight ahead.

"Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" I grunted, rounding a corner where three little unicorns with flowers in their hair looked up at me in shock. I raised the spear above my head. "WAAAGH!" All three screamed and then bolted back down the hall, where I spied a wide staircase. Thus, I chased after them, screaming all the while until I reached the stairs. Once there, I moved to ascend to the next floor, but the three also turned and stampeded upstairs.

I groaned and took a breath before resuming the chase, finding to my simultaneous relief and annoyance that not only did the stairs wrap back around and continue up for a few more floors, but the three ponies also wrapped around and continued up.

Once we reached the floor I was pretty certain the bug had slipped into, the three slid to a halt and their heads darted left and right, seemingly without realizing I'd caught up to them.

"Which way?!" The minty green one cried. I leaned forward and peeked to the right, where I saw the bug dip through a large double door. I pointed to the right.

"That way," I offered. The three paused and looked at me, before looking right and humming in response.

"Good idea!" The minty one chirped.

"No problem," I chirped back. Then the three wilted, shared a look and took off screaming again. I rolled my eyes and braced to follow at a much more casual pace until the door the bug zipped through exploded outward. The three ponies slid to a halt again with looks of horror.

"It's a trap! He tricked us!" The minty one cried. I ignored her as I watched the bug go sailing out through the window, leaving behind my books which fluttered and then settled on the ground.

"Oh, nice," I hummed, raising my spear and slowly approaching the door. The three ponies looked at me in horror, hugging each other and sinking to the ground as I approached before clenching their eyes shut as I passed them by. I raised an eyebrow and paused as I heard heavy footfalls coming from around the corner.

Then he appeared.

A really big fucking guy.

"Holy shit," I gasped. He paused and turned to look at me in bewilderment.

"Aye?" He hummed in a pirate accent. "Who's this now?" Another drawn frown worked its way across my face as memories of my talk with Luna suddenly popped up. Specifically about the other human she'd encountered once upon a time.
Pseudo stepping out just beside the guy just confirmed it all.

"You must be the other avatar, huh?" I huffed, keeping my spear level. The guy recoiled slightly and something slumped off his shoulder and hit the ground with a thud. Glancing down, I saw it was a dazed and weary-looking Selma.

"Other avatar?" He hummed turning to Pseudo with an annoyed leer. A little white pony creeped out and peeked at me from behind the big guy.

"Is it so surprising that Discord would seek to replace you once you were sealed in stone, O Avatar?" Pseudo replied with a slight bow aimed at the big guy.

"I suppose not," he hummed, turning back and looking me up and down. "And what do you intend to do with that?" I frowned and glanced down at my spear before relaxing and holding it upright.

"I uh," I cleared my throat and gestured to the ground beside him. "I just want my books, man."

"'Man?'" He snorted, bringing his hands to his hips. "Do you know who you're speaking to, Lad?"

"Uh," I huffed and glanced over my shoulder at the three cowering ponies behind me before back at him. "No?" He offered me a dark smile and leaned forward.

"Does the name Edward Teach mean anything to ye?" He asked, and I jumped.

"What, like Blackbeard?" I gasped.

"Precisely," he hummed, raising an eyebrow. And suddenly, the hair, the voice, the alleged robbery and torture, it all clicked.

"No shit!" I cried, grabbing the side of my head in surprise. "How- When- Holy shit!"

"So you have heard of me!" He replied, throwing his head back with a laugh. Pseudo and the pony shared a look but said nothing.

"You're the pirate! Oh my GOD," I shook my head in shock and held my hands out. "You're supposed to be dead!" A sour glare fell over his face.

"Says who?" He spat.

"I, uh, I mean, history!" I gasped, still reeling it all. He recoiled in surprise and then furrowed his brow.

"History? What do you mean?"

"History! Like, eighteenth-century books and shit!" I cried, throwing my hands up and then scrambling to catch my spear as it rolled from my grip. His eyes darted about as he processed my words.

"Eighteenth, eh? What year are you from then?" He finally asked, scratching his chest. I huffed and shrugged.

"Twenty-twenty-three," I replied. His jaw dropped slightly and he stared at me in wonder for a moment before beaming and holding his chin.

"Two-thousand and twenty-three?" He gasped. "That's a few hundred years off. How's that possible?"

"The Spirit works in strange ways exclusively," Pseudo replied.

"I'll say!" Blackbeard chortled, shaking his head. "And you're saying I'm in the history books?"

"Yeah," I huffed, looking him up and down. By God, it's really him. "Bro, you're the Blackbeard."

"The Blackbeard!" He laughed and slapped his knee before shoving Pseudo. "The Blackbeard!" He took a deep breath and then fell into a roaring fit of laughter. I couldn't help but just look at him in wonder. Discord had plucked a literal and famous pirate out of history just for kicks. The pirate. The guy all pirates are modeled after. Discord grabbed him and set him loose in Ponyland.

And then he settled for me.

A weird, hollow feeling washed over me, and I found myself leaning on my spear as Blackbeard laughed. After a moment, he sighed and shook his head before leering at me.

"Blueleaf. Fetch the lad his books," he said, shooting me a warm smile. I flinched and furrowed my brow, while the pony beside Blackbeard looked up at him in confusion.

"Uh, please to repeat?" He said in an Italian accent. I narrowed my eyes.

"I said, fetch him his books," Blackbeard said, still with a smile. "He-" His smile vanished and he leaned over to look past me.

"Ah," he sighed. I looked back just in time to see a huge bug horse with crazy, weblike hair smash through a window at the end of the hall and come screaming toward us. I stumbled over in surprise as it screeched past me toward Blackbeard.

And I swear to God, the man reached out, caught it out of the air, and then SUPLEXED the thing into the fucking ground.

Which then caved in, taking him, the pony, the bug, and Selma down with it. Pseudo just stood and leaned over the hole Blackbeard had made as the pony screamed.

"Interesting," he hummed, snapping his hand out and sweeping my books out of the air as they had been kicked up by the impact. While I stood in shock, Pseudo approached me and held the books out to me. "I was under the impression from our discussion that these would magically return to you?" I blinked and looked at the stack.

"God damn it," I huffed before snatching them. Several lasers suddenly erupted up out of the hole, followed by Blackbeard's laughter and the pony's screams. "What, uh, what's the plan with him?"

"For now, he is set on dragging Celestia into the city center and cutting her head off," he explained, leering over his shoulder at the pit. "After that, we shall see."

"Huh," I muttered, before looking up and realizing Pseudo was walking away. "Hey-"

"Farewell, Mr. Fremont," he said before hopping over the pit and carrying on down the hall. I watched him walk for a moment until another boom rumbled from below and I felt the ground beneath me crack.

"Shit," I huffed, glancing back to see the ponies had long since fled. "Gotta get outta here."

"Watch your heads!" Turnip yelled as the group scurried along the alley after him. He paused and studied the air above them. "I don't even see any changelings or anything. What happened at the castle?"

"I don't know, but let's just focus on avoiding being squished, yes?" Honeysuckle at his side replied. She kept her attention forward as the group neared the end of the alleyway.

"I wonder if Stern got caught in the rubble," Turnip idly mused as he and Honeysuckle poked their heads out, scanning the street. "It came down right on where she was marching." Honeysuckle grunted in response before looking toward the castle.

While the plaza was still full of changelings and guards, they all seemed to have paused in shock at the sight of the turret's collapse. The changelings especially seemed taken aback, and many were sharing anxious looks while a few others were flying toward the castle.

Then the moose came flying down. Plural. Orgnar and Yendrek both suddenly fell into the center of the plaza, the former taking the fall much worse than the latter, though Yendrek was noticeably cut, bruised, and burned. As he stood to his full height, he was suddenly slammed all the way to the ground by a multicolored streak of light.

"And stay down!" Rainbow Dash panted as she bounced off and hovered above the pair. A flash of purple light went off just beside the group, revealing the other Element bearers, all of whom, like Rainbow, seemed worn out. The changelings and guards all recoiled at the sight, though a few of the former snarled and prepared to charge them.

"They beat Yendrek?" Sash gasped.

"This is a shock?" Honeysuckle replied, continuing to scan the area. "He should not have challenged them all at once. Regardless, look there." She pointed toward the far end of the city and over the rooftops at the elongated shape of an airship's balloon.

"If you intend to flee the city, that might be your best bet," she declared, turning to the cult. Sash furrowed his brow and hummed, while Turnip turned to Honeysuckle.

"Sure, but what about you?" He asked. The unicorn hesitated and frowned at his question, turning her gaze to her two remaining underlings who responded with looks of concern. Before she could even think of a response, however, another boom shook the city. Then, another.

And another.

And then, something exploded out of the side of the castle and came sailing toward the street the Element bearers were on. All eyes turned skyward as a scream, a roar of frustration, and a bellowing laugh filled the air just before the thing revealed itself to be the peculiar shape of a human with a pony clinging to his back, an alicorn in his right hand, and a changeling queen in his left. These last two he had outstretched toward the ground as all four fell.

And so when they hit the ground, the alicorn and changeling took the worst of the impact.

"The queen!" Several changelings screamed.

"Princess Celestia!" Several guards and the Elements screamed.

"Blueleaf! It's time!" The human roared, rising to his full height, dragging a coughing and cringing Celestia up by the mane. "Get an axe!"

"Heuough," Blueleaf moaned as he fell from the giant's back. The cultists all stared in shock as nearly every creature outside the alley converged on the human at once.

"What the heck?" Turnip gasped.

"Is that Goober?" Snowpea squeaked.

"I don't think so," Sash murmured.

"The princess," Honeysuckle fumed, drawing their eyes to her just before she took off. "The princess is in danger!"

"Hey! Wait!" Turnip cried. The unicorn ignored him and bolted toward the human who began laughing as the ponies and changelings closed in. To her horror, he yanked Celestia up and swept her around himself, smashing several of his attackers out of the air at once, including Twilight and two of the Elements. All of these were sent careening away from him, a sight which caused the rest to cry out and freeze in place.

Except for Honeysuckle.

She clenched her teeth and lowered her head, spying a sword lying on the street as she charged. She swept it up in her magic and leveled it at the villain, who noticed her and smiled. Then, once she was in range, he swung the princess back at her.

Honeysuckle sprung over the princess and snapped her sword down onto the human's hand, only for it to spring back off. Her eyes widened at the sight, but then as the human snapped his other hand forward, she dragged her sword back and across his palm. Rather than blood, sparks erupted from the point of contact and he closed his fist around the blade, causing her to gasp.

"Well now!" He chirped, releasing Celestia and snapping the sword in half. "This one seems to have her wits about her!" He bared his teeth in a dark smile and brought his other hand down in a fist. As Honeysuckle ducked to the side, she gasped again and hit the ground, narrowly dodging his leg which swept back like a cobra. The human giggled and slammed his fist into the ground where Honeysuckle had rolled away from. Rolling onto her hooves she brought her half-broken sword up and shook her mane out of her eyes before tying it in a hasty braid with her magic.

The monster in human shape chortled and adopted a low stance. All the creatures who had previously tried to attack the monster looked on in shock as the two circled each other, allowing the changelings to pull their queen away and the guards to do likewise.

Honeysuckle narrowed her eyes as she scanned the villain, before locking eyes with him. He kept his smile and tilted his head. Snorting, she sprang forward and sliced her sword at the monster's chest.

Or so it seemed.

As he swung his hand out to snatch the sword, she sprang upward and whipped the sword back, safely out of his grip. Then, twisting her head so hard she turned in the air, she plunged the broken sword into his eye.

"HAAHG!" The monster cried out, stumbling back with the sword stuck in place.

"She did it!" A guard cried. Then the monster laughed again. As Honeysuckle landed she whirled around in shock to see the creature grinning at her.

"Damned clever, girly," he purred, tilting his head to present the closed eye she'd stabbed. "If I was wearing armor going for soft spots would be the thing to do." He opened his eye and the sword fell free, revealing it had no effect.

"But I'm not wearing armor, am I?" He laughed.

"Quoi?" Honeysuckle gasped. Then she flinched as the monster was immediately upon her. He brought his leg back and hurled it forward, and Honeysuckle stuck her hooves out in response. She managed to catch his leg, cushioning the blow.

And then she was gone. The creatures around the human scanned the street in shock.

"What happened?" A guard squeaked.

"Lieutenant?" Another whined.

"Did he teleport her?" Someone asked.

"And here I thought only pegasi flew," the human purred, drawing everyone's attention to him. He was leaning back with one hand cupped over his eyes and was scanning the sky. When they all followed suit, a chill ran over them.

For Honeysuckle's part, she stared blankly with her legs out stretched, unsure what she was seeing. It certainly looked like she was spinning slowly through the clouds, and it certainly looked like Canterlot was far, far below. But that all had very unfortunate implications for what came next.

"Quoi?" She squeaked as she began falling. Falling fast. A deep shudder rocked her whole body and she found herself unable to act. "Mother."

After falling for far too long, the city came racing up to meet her. She clenched her teary eyes shut and then..

She felt the wind get punched out of her as her entire body was engulfed in warm, springy cloth. After sinking into whatever she'd landed in, it snapped and bounced her out at an awkward angle and she sailed sideways through a second-story window, where she tumbled, rolled, and finally crashed painfully into a wardrobe.

Reeling from the entire thing, she held her head up and saw the airship balloon she'd spied just minutes earlier through the window. Then with a grunt, she blacked out.

Victor's Spell Index I

1st level

Detect Magic: Ten minutes. I detect magic. Wow.

Hold ~~Portal~~ Door: some weird metric times ten minutes. Locks the door. Stronger magic users, super strength, and some specific spells can just open it, so that's great.

Read Magic: I can read the magic writing on a thing. Singular. One reading. :)

Read Languages: >:( One reading.

Protection from Evil: Sixty minutes. Surrounds me with a magic circle that keeps out attacks from 'enchanted' monsters and gives resistance to attacks and stuff from all evil creatures. It'll also hurt them if they enter it.

Light: Some weird metric plus my power level times ten minutes. Makes a silly little ball of light almost as bright as daylight.

Charm Person: If I meet something with two legs, chances are I can nail 'em with this and make them my slave. Forever. Or until they break the spell. They get one chance every so often based on how smart they are. Average cookies get one try every two weeks.

Sleep: Best in class. Puts a group to sleep for eight full hours.

Shield: Twenty minutes. Love this one. Unbreakable* shield that's even more unbreakable* against missiles. Useless against magic.
*May not be entirely unbreakable. Not eager to find out.

Magic Missile: Fuck that guy, BOOM. Point and shoot.

Ventriloquism: Twenty minutes. Lmao.

2nd level

Detect Invisible: Sixty minutes. I can see invisible things, but I still can't see Honeysuckle's friends so I guess it doesn't work on things that don't exist.

Levitate: Stupid metric plus power level times ten minutes. Lifts me up and doesn't stop until the time runs out.

Phantasmal Forces: Lasts as long as I concentrate. Makes illusions convincing enough that they can hurt people who fall for them.

Locate Object: I can know the direction of an object of which I know the dimensions, color, and all that. IF it's in range and the range is based on my power level plus a stupid metric. Hate it. Oh, but I can find stairs just fine! The book says so! If they're in range.

Invisibility: Lets me irradiate Honeysuckle's big dumb hair. No, just kidding, it makes me or the thing I cast it on invisible. Neat thing is it lasts until broken by something else or by me 'attacking' which could mean a lot of things.

Wizard Lock: See Hold Portal. Locks the door, but forever. Same rules for what can just open it apply. Kinda cool.

Detect Evil: Twenty minutes. I can sense evil thoughts or intentions in creatures and objects? It specifies that poison is neutral, so ???

ESP: One hundred twenty minutes. Weird one. It says I can detect the thoughts (if any?) of whatever lurks behind doors or in the darkness. So, do I need to put up a door first then I can read minds? Huh? Lead blocks this spell.

Continual Light: See Light. This one lasts till I tell it to go away.

Knock: Magically opens doors, even those locked by my own Hold spell.

Darkness: Sixty minutes. Fills a space with total darkness. 'Infravision' is made useless by it, I guess. The Light spells counter it.

Strength: Eight hours. More muscle. Feels good.

Web: Eight hours. Weird one, but kind of neat. Creates a big web. You have to be really strong to slowly struggle free and it gets tougher the weaker you are. Highly flammable.

Mirror Image: Sixty minutes. Makes a set of perfect images of myself that do exactly like me. If one gets attacked it vanishes.

Magic Mouth: Makes a literal mouth appear on an object that will relay a message from me when certain conditions are met. Can't be longer than twenty-five words. It lasts until the message is given.

Pyrotechnics: Sixty minutes. Needs existing fire, Gandalf the Grey style. I can take the fire and make firework-like effects or a bunch of smoke. It uses up the fire source.

Author's Note

Was planning this for a bit since the list only gets longer from here and they can't all be introduced naturally.

Been dealing with some deep seated and all encompassing melancholy for the past two weeks, but it's mostly over now. The meat of the next chapter it is already done, so it's coming very soon. If not tonight, then in a day or two.

Chapter 15

Twilight stood in shock beside her friends and the still-dazed form of Celestia, as she and the entire square of creatures who had just moments prior been at each other's throats all stared skyward.

The distant shape of Honeysuckle seemed to hover among the clouds for a few seconds before plummeting down and vanishing behind Canterlot's skyline. The ponies and changelings all watched the poor doomed unicorn fall before slowly their attention returned to the hulking, smirking, black-haired beast that had launched her.

To their hesitant relief, the monster continued to look skyward at the point where Honeysuckle had vanished with a proud smile instead of turning his attention to any of them.

"Twi? I think we're gonna need the Elements," Applejack suddenly murmured to her shocked friend beside her. Then, the monster's eyes suddenly snapped to her and their friends. Slowly, his head turned to face them directly.

"Elements you say?" He hummed, sweeping one foot before the other and slowly stalking toward them. Twilight swallowed hard and fixed him with a determined glare, something her friends matched. Save for Fluttershy, who cowered behind the other five. "You wouldn't happen to be referring to those delightful little gemstones Their Majesties employed to seal Discord and myself, would you?" He stood just before the mares and leaned over them at the hips with a disturbingly warm smile. Twilight huffed an anxious breath before stomping her hoof.

"That's right! We're the Element Bearers now," she declared, firmly glaring into his eyes. "And we'll use them to stop you again!"

"You tell 'em Twilight!" Rainbow cheered.

"Yeah! We've faced way scarier guys than you!" Pinkie added. The human pursed his lips in a frown and slowly rubbed his chin as his eyes trailed off to the side.

"Ah, I see. Now, that is an issue. For you see, I find myself disinclined to allow those little trinkets to be used upon me again," he screwed up his face and stood up straight, clearly deep in thought, before shaking his head with a hum. "So, I suppose I'll just have to break your necks to stop that from happening." The girls all froze at his words and he waved his hand, shaking his head again and taking another step closer.

"I know! I know! But please believe me, it isn't personal," he offered a quiet chortle before fixing them with a dark smile. "If it was, I assure you, I'd deal something far more gruesome and prolonged upon ye." Before any of them could retort, Rainbow gasped and shot to the side, barreling Twilight over which saved her from the monster's hand that had suddenly snapped down and clamped shut on the air where her head had just been.

"Look out!" Rainbow yelled as the human brought his other hand back in a fist and hurled it forward at Fluttershy who wilted and froze under his gaze. Despite being toppled over, Twilight clenched her teeth and blasted the monster with all her magical might. His fist made contact with her spell, which folded in and bubbled up, sending ripples of magical light through the air and casting the villain's features in an eerie glow that accentuated the manic, evil look in his eyes.

Despite the nightmarish visual, the collision of claw and spell managed to hold back the monster as he and Twilight struggled against each other. The villain ground his backfoot into the paving stones of the street until they cracked while Twilight was forced to hug the ground for leverage as the pair strained.

Seizing the opportunity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack leaped to either side of the human and then hurled into his head and knees respectively. The combined surprise attack knocked him off his feet and allowed Twilight's spell to blast him back. The unicorn gasped as she cut her beam and then rose to her hooves as the girls watched the spell carry the villain away.

Until he pivoted in the air, caught himself on one foot, gripped the spell itself, and wrenched it to the side where it exploded into the street. He stood up straight with a wide, toothy smile and giggled quietly.

Twilight's jaw dropped for a moment before she adopted a steely expression and jabbed a hoof at the guards.
"Get the princess to safety!" She demanded before leading the charge against the villain who stomped forward in response.

"Blueleaf! Don't let her get away!" He roared as he dashed. The pony in question slowly sat up and blinked.

"Whu?" He murmured.

"Traitor!" One of the guards bellowed as she and a few others hauled Celestia away. "You'll get yours, Blueleaf!" The stallion furrowed his brow and slowly looked around while the changelings collected their queen and fled as well.

"Cazzo? What did I do?" He muttered as the Element-bearers and human slammed into each other.

"Sweet mercy," Turnip gasped as the battle exploded with renewed energy.

"Lieutenant!" Snowpea screamed before galloping toward where Honeysuckle had fallen with Violence at her side.

"Hey! Wait!" Turnip called before grunting and turning back to the cultists and his sister. "Well, what-" He paused at the sight of Sugarplum, who was staring straight ahead with wide, terrified eyes. Looking back, Turnip saw her gaze was locked on the other human.

"Sugarplum?" Sash said, reaching forward and gently shaking her. The mare shivered and blinked before turning to look between the sheep and her brother.

"You okay?" Turnip asked. His sister's ears snapped back and her eyes darted, seemingly on instinct, to the crazed human fighting the Elements in the street. Then she blinked and turned her full attention that way before gasping and thrusting her hoof forward.

"Look! The Avatar!" She cried. The whole group turned in the direction she was pointing, and sure enough, the human they were more familiar with was entering the fray. Though, plainly not of his own volition.

"Is that Princess Lu-" Turnip began before wilting. "Whoa."

Nettle had once told me spear good. As I stomped through the halls of this dopey princess castle, I believed him. Despite being a wizard (and God did that feel good to say) some deep part of me was tickled by the feel as I bounded on with my spear pointed forward.

"Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!" I chanted.

"Victor Fremont?" A familiar voice suddenly interrupted. I stopped and whirled around to see Luna emerging from a passage I'd just passed. She fixed me with a perplexed look as I felt blood rush to my face.

"Hey," I replied, clearing my throat and standing up straight. "What's, uh, what's up?"

"I was awoken from my slumber by the noise of battle, and as I descended from mine chamber, I spied you galloping down the hall," she explained as she approached. I coughed into my fist and she looked me up and down again. "How did you escape?" I froze and my jaw opened and closed as I searched for an excuse. Finally, I snapped my fingers and gave her a smile.

"I pretended to be a bar of soap and gave your guards the slip," I declared and swept my hand out to her. She blinked twice. "Eh? Eh?" She shook her head slowly.

"I am sorry, Victor, but I am in no mood for jest," she declared, spreading her wings and lighting up her horn as I wilted. "Sleep now." Shit.

"Before you do anything drastic!" I yelled, stumbling back and holding up a hand. "I think you should know that Blackbeard's free." She paused and a look of horror washed over her face.

"How do you know that name?" She more gasped than said. Jackpot!

"Cause I met him," I replied with a nod, slowly taking a few steps away as she stood frozen in shock. "He's free and heading outside to decapitate your sister." She tensed up and turned to look out the window, at which point I turned and took off like a bolt of living lightning.

I streaked down the halls and around the corners and then dove through an open window, landing in a convenient bush that cushioned my landing and allowed me to roll to my feet and continue my sprint unhindered.

That would have been cool and I know I could have pulled it all off.

Instead, the second I turned I was frozen and encased in a magical membrane the same color as Luna's horn.

"I hope for your sake you were not simply deceiving me," she declared, dragging me back and tilting me to meet her at eye level. There was a quiet fury in her eyes as she glared. "Otherwise, I will avenge myself upon you before dealing with the enemy outside these walls." I swallowed hard and she turned to face the window.

"So, let us investigate the veracity of your claim. Together," she said before taking a deep breath and throwing the window open with her magic. "HUZZAH!" My eyes widened as suddenly the open sky was visible above me before it spun away and the castle slid into view, followed by an old medieval-looking city. Well, medieval if you don't count the more modern-looking shops. And the crazy bug horses skittering along the building walls and roofs.

And the blue-winged unicorn dragging me through the air in a wide circle. Dragging me very quickly through the air, I should add.

"My. brraains," I strained to say against the g-force. "Are going into my. FEET."

"Your species is strange and fascinating indeed, but come! Point the villain out to me, Victor Fremont!" She demanded. The last thing I heard was her gasp just as my vision started to go hazy from all my blood being pushed into my toes. Then she stopped and I heaved as the world spun and most of my stomach contents bounced up to the roof of my mouth.

"There he is! You spoke the truth!" She cried, wrenching me about and forcing me to look downward.

"HuLAAaaug," I gurgled as all my fluids settled. Even as my vision returned, we were still high above the city so I could only barely make out little dots in the streets below. One little dot seemed to really piss her off, however, as she took over at top speed toward it.

"Have at thee!" She shrieked. We came to a halt much sooner this time, but my vision was still dark. Strangely, as I again recovered from the rattling ride she'd taken me on, I saw the sun high above us, still illuminated, though the sky all around it was dark. I also then realized I'd been dropped onto the ground, allowing me to tilt my head back to see several sights that did nothing for my zonked-out and rattled brain.

First was Blackbeard. He had one foot on Twilight's rainbow-haired friend, his left arm had the orange one in a headlock, his left hand had the white unicorn by the tail, and he had Twilight by the horn in his right hand. The pink one had her teeth clamped on his beard, while the yellow one was cowering.

All of them were looking back at Luna who was slowly drifting back into the air and bathed in a white light, like the moon. In fact, the light coming off her was incredibly hard to look at due to how bright it was, but so long as I focused on just her at its center it seemed strangely tolerable.

"This again, eh?" I heard Blackbeard chortle. Then Luna snapped her horn forward at him and the light sprang forward and shrank to a single point.

Thwink

Blackbeard tensed up and clenched his teeth hard, inhaling with a sharp hiss as he released the ponies and brought his elbows back reflexively where the tiny bead of light had impacted.

"Ooooh, still stings," he groaned as the sun's light filled the sky again. There was a rumbling boom then, as Luna slammed into him sending him rolling down the road. Luna beat her wings and turned to face Twilight.

"Twilight Sparkle! Contain Victor Fremont while I-" She stumbled and moaned aloud, and her hair almost seemed to deflate.

"Princess?" Twilight asked as she and her friends stood up and hurried to her side. Luna held a hoof to her head, and she seemed to shrink before my eyes. Again, none of this helped my still rattled brain.

"I believe," she began, haltingly. "The effects of the Elements are still-"

"Look out!" The rainbow-haired one yelled. They all jumped and looked just in time to see Blackbeard hurl himself in, and slide just passed Luna in a damn pose before hurling himself back elbow-first into her face and driving her to the ground.

"Sick," I mused groggily as the group began fighting again.

"Victor!" Another familiar voice cried as a bunch of figures suddenly surrounded me.

"Huh?" I blinked and looked up to see Sash looking down at me along with a bunch of the cultists. And Turnip, for some reason.

"It's us! We came to rescue you!" Sash declared as they helped me to a sitting position. My stomach lurched and my eyes went blurry. "Are you okay?" I moaned before looking at him.

"Fine. How've you been?" I asked. He paused and his eyes darted about.

"I've.. Been alright, I suppose," he replied.

"Good," I said with a weak nod. The cultists shared a look before Sash jostled me.

"Victor, I'm not sure where everywooly else is, but we have an escape route planned," he said pointing a hoof off to my left. "There's an airship this way!" I slowly looked in that direction but saw only shaky shapes that might've been buildings.

"Well," I huffed before looking at him again. "Let's get over to it, and then take a five-minute break." He blinked and recoiled slightly with his head tilted.

"Uh, alright, Victor."

Her hooves just weren't working.

No matter how hard she galloped, she never got any further. Canterlot was still all around her, the dense, heavy rain clouds were still boiling above her, and the gate was still miles away beyond which she could see the sun.

"Richgirl," one of the shops on her left jeered.

"Moneybags," the lamppost on her right added.

"Richgirl."

"Moneybags."

"Richgirl."

"Moneybags."

"Burden," the storm overhead boomed suddenly, though the jeers and taunts of the city around her continued quietly. "Hindrance."

Honeysuckle stumbled and tripped as the words rained down. Once she hit the uneven paving stones, she hid her eyes under her hooves.

"My little curse from the heavens. Sleeping on the job, are you? Of course you are, you lazy filly. I should never have let you join the guard. You shame this family and that uniform," the storm continued. An icy chill danced across her neck. "What would your mother think?"

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"On that at least, we can agree," the storm rumbled. "Very sorry indeed." The sky crackled and rumbled with lightning, and Honeysuckle clenched up tight, bracing to be struck.

But the bolt never came.

Instead, she blinked and sighed hard. Her eyes darted around the room she'd crashed into after her fall. Rolling to a sitting position, she sat and panted, shaking her head to clear it of the dream she'd endured.

"Every time," she croaked and clenched her eyes shut. "Merde."

"Lieutenant!" A call came from outside, causing her to shudder before perking up. Hastily wiping her eyes with her tunic she peeked out the window she'd crashed through. Down below, searching the airship dock was Snowpea and Incredible Violence. The sight of her two subordinates eased the tension in her chest, as it usually did.

But there was still a weight on her shoulders. Something she couldn't ignore. Not anymore.

"If she has me discharged, I'll have to live here again," she quietly mused, scanning the city through the window. "I'll be stuck under his hoof again." She grimaced and sighed hard.

"Not that I was ever very far from that point regardless," she turned as Snowpea called out to her again and began pacing the room. She idly kicked some of the broken boards she'd smashed in and scanned the wardrobe she'd crashed into, pausing at what she saw.

A wedding dress, crumpled on the ground.

Her ear twitched, and the thunderous voice from her dream rumbled in her memory.

"Lieutenant!" Snowpea cried again. Honeysuckle turned and leered over her shoulder at the window. Straight across from where she'd landed, she saw the balloon of an airship. Approaching the window, she looked at the vessel and then the open air beyond. Though the room she was in was dark, the sun's light was visible just through the window and bathed all the land beyond Canterlot in its warm glow. Taking a deep breath and setting her face in a determined frown, she nodded and leaned out the window to call to Snowpea.

Then she froze at the sight of the airship's gangplank and the creatures who were boarding the vessel.

"Fils de pute," she hissed.

I'd never been close to a proper ship before, so stepping up the walkin' plank onto the deck of this blimp was pretty neat. Landlocked Midwest boys represent.

"We've looked all over the dock, but can't find the lieutenant!" Snowpea squealed as she and Violence followed us on deck.

"Oh no, not Honeysuckle," I said evenly as I scanned the ropes holding the balloon down. "Oh no, I'm so. Sad." I turned to Sash with a shrug.

"My life's just," I frowned and shrugged even harder. "Better now. I don't know how I will cope." The sheep blinked and tilted his head at my words but said nothing.

"Goober, please!" Snowpea begged, rearing up and pawing at my shirt. "Help us look for her!"

"No," I said, walking toward the big wheel and letting her flop off. "Anyone know how to make this thing go?"

"Oui," came a voice. I sighed sharply and turned to see all the cultists looking from me to Honeysuckle as she stepped onto the deck of my ship. Least the walkin' plank was already out.

"Lieutenant!" Snowpea cheered as Violence wiped his forehead with a hoof. "You're okay!" Honeysuckle regarded them warmly and nodded at Turnip who seemed taken as taken aback by her presence as the rest of the cult. Then, she looked up a me.

"Okay is relative," she said, slowly approaching me. I folded my arms as she stood before me. A tense silence held the deck as the noise of Blackbeard's scuffle echoed through the city.

"I had a bad dream," she finally said with a slight shrug. "Maybe it's a bit silly, but I choose to take it as a sign of what I need to do." I smiled at her.

"Aw, neat! Was it one of those fun ones where you're like falling from a tree or something?" I asked and pointed toward the sheer drop-off of the dock. "Cause there's a cliff over there you can walk off." She glanced back that way for a moment before fixing me with a subdued sneer.

"Let me come with you," she declared more than asked. My jaw hung slightly with a wide frown.

"No?" I asked more than declared.

"Ple- Yes," she hissed.

"Naah~," I jeered, slowly shaking my head. She bared her teeth with a growl.

"You," she grunted and shook her head before fixing me with an annoyed leer. "Look, isn't it enough that I'm asking? Isn't that humiliating enough?"

"You're implying there's a condition in which I'm willing to let your psycho-ass travel with me," I replied, leaning forward to jab a finger at her. "And so long as I have a choice, that's not happening." She snarled her lip at me and very briefly lit up her horn as if she was reaching for her sword which was missing. When she couldn't find it, her horn dimmed and she glared up at me through her bangs for a moment.

"Choice, huh? Well, consider this; You need somepony who knows how to drive this ship," she declared. I blinked and looked around at the cultists, all of whom recoiled at her declaration.

"Oh! Uh, that's a good point," Sash said after a moment, rubbing his chin and looking over the group as well. "I don't think anywooly here is trained to operate an airship." My stomach lurched for an all-new reason.

"Correct. But I can offer instruction and get us moving." My eyes snapped down to Honeysuckle's smirking face. "Standard officer's training, Goobèr." I held my breath as we stared at each other, but then I exhaled as a sharp chortle and looked passed her.

"Turnip? Snowpea?" I said through a clenched smile. "You guy's're trained too, right?" Snowpea squeaked quietly at my tone, but Turnip cleared his throat.

"Uh, yeah, but not in officer's stuff," he replied with a bashful smile. "Sorry." As my smile wilted, a boom rolled through the air. Turning, we all saw as..

Well, part of a building came sailing down one of the roads before flying off the side of the cliff.

"They're coming this way!" Someone screamed. I frowned harder and glared at Honeysuckle who retorted with a sharp glare of her own. She even took the time to blow her bangs out of the way.

"Sugar? You okay?" Turnip suddenly asked, drawing both of our attentions his way. Sugarplum was just beside him and staring towards the fighting with a haunted look in her eyes.

"He reminds me of-" She paused and shook.

"What?" Turnip pressed, wrapping a leg over her shoulders. She whimpered and hugged up to him.

"Bad Teeth," she whispered. A change overtook the whole deck and everyone, including Honeysuckle darted around to look in Blackbeard's general direction.

"Yeah, uh, now that you mention it," Sash hummed, swallowing hard. "At least, based on rumors." I blinked and looked Blackbeard's way as well before facing Sash.

"Who?" I asked. He shook his head and faced me.

"We'll explain later. Now, what about Ms. Honeysuckle?" He frowned and gestured to the city. "I'm certain we'll meet Pseudo when he is ready to be met, but time is not on our side, Victor. We need to get you out of here." I inhaled through my teeth and glared down at her. My spells raced through my mind, but none of them would help here.

Besides blowing her up, but then we'd still be stuck. It'd be funny as fuck, though.

"You're fucking lucky you're four-legged," I growled with a heavy sigh, and waved my hand at her. "Welcome aboard." She hesitated before smiling.

"Merci," she replied and then spun around to the whole group. "Alright! All of you do exactly as I say!"

"He has Princess Luna!" Rarity screamed as she grabbed another brick to hurl at the human. "Again!"

"Correct! Now, watch this!" The villain cackled as he gripped her by the belly and then hurled her like a javelin at Rarity. The unicorn screamed and dove out of the way as Luna shot by and then stabbed into the ground horn first.

"Ouugh," the alicorn moaned as her body went limp. At the same time, Rainbow slammed into the human with all her might, causing him to stumble forward as she bounced off and tumbled along the road until she came to rest beside Twilight and Pinkie, the former of whom was attempting to pull the latter out of the street after the villain buried her up to the neck. With one push.

"Jeez! It feels like I'm bucking a brick wall behind a mountain of steel! How solid is this guy?" She griped, laying on her back and scowling up at the monster. Twilight huffed and shook her head.

"Extremely. Discord must have given him some degree of invulnerability along with all that strength," she said, fixing the villain with a sharp glare as he spun on his heels, scanning the whole group. "Those burns and what Luna did earlier make me think it's not total, however."

"We're still going to need a whole heck of a lot of magic to bring him down though," Applejack replied as she came up beside the trio with a serious limp and groaning quietly from having half a building slammed into her. "If only we could get to the dang Elements."

"Or if we had something just as strong!" Pinkie replied, springing up out of the ground in a triumphant pose. The other three considered her for a moment before Twilight scowled.

"Like what?" She demanded.

Spike anxiously looked back over his shoulder at the window for a moment before returning his attention to Cadance's hooves. Once Chrysalis and Blackbeard had vanished, he had a chance to use his claws to cut his way free and was now doing the same to Cadance.

"Al. Most," he growled as he chipped and scrapped, until finally- "Got it!" Cadance sprang free and leaped into the air.

"Great work, Spike!" She cheered sweeping the drake up and hugging him tight before turning to her fiance with a concerned look. Setting Spike down she rushed to Shining Armor and grabbed his face with her hooves.

"Shiny, I know you're in there," she begged, touching her horn to his with tears in her eyes. "Please, speak to-" Shining recoiled and shook his head with a snort before smiling at her, the green light completely gone from his eyes.

"Oh, hey, Candy Corn. What's up?" Cadance stared at him in shock for a few seconds.

"Wh-" She began before rolling her eyes with a groan, pulling Shining into a tight hug, and muttering in a begrudging tone. "C'mere."

"Fuck was that?" I squawked, whirling to look back at the city in the distance. The entire thing now had a big, pink, heart-shaped dome over it that seemed to be expanding. Due to its contrast against the sky, I could make out countless little dots being flung in every direction as if launched by the dome itself. All the cultists looked back that way along with Honeysuckle and her two cronies.

"Seems like something akin to the Elements of Harmony," Honeysuckle mused. "They must have secured them and used them against that beast."

"Good for them," I grumbled, leaning on the rear railing and staring at the weird phenomena for a few seconds. Finally, I returned my attention to the ship. Turnip was at the helm, with Sugarplum and Honeysuckle right beside him giving orders to the rest of the crew. A few of the cultists were below deck working the engine, but most were topside for lack of anything better to do. Once we started rolling, Honey'd confirmed that we just needed to stay alert and keep the engine roaring and we'd be fine.

I sighed and turned to Sash, who had stayed at my side the entire time everyone else was getting us airborne. "So, what now?" He looked up at me and then at Turnip.

"Well, the plan was to get you back to the fortress in the Badlands," he explained before casting a nervous look back at the city. Doing likewise, I saw it was still encased in its Valentine's-Day-themed dome. "But we were also hoping to speak with Pseudo for confirmation about what to do."

"Well, we might as well head that way," I replied with a shrug and scratched my head. "He'll probably pop up at some point. And besides, I'm assuming that's where Sneaky and Nettle are waiting, right?"

"Pardon?" Sash huffed. I frowned with a shrug.

"My friends? Pegasus and big Diamond Dog guy?" I gestured with my hands and shrugged again. "I mean, I'm assuming if they were part of the rescue team they'd have stuck with you." He considered me for a moment before wilting with a sad frown.

"Oh," he finally replied and shook his head. "No, Victor, they left." I flinched.

"What?" I gasped. "Why?" Sugarplum looked back at me with an angry frown.

"Nettle said there was nothing to be done and Sneaky said she didn't even like you," she spat. "And since she wasn't cursed anymore she could just leave." I slumped against the railing and stared at the deck while I digested her explanation.

"Oh."

"Victor?" Sash said, nudging my leg slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Are you-" I cut him off and waved my hand.

"Yeah. I'm fine. We-" I hesitated and grimaced. "I mean yeah, I deserve that. Evil wizard, y'know?" I rubbed the back of my neck and raised an eyebrow.

"Win some, lose some," I grumbled.

"Sneaky said that too," Sugarplum added causing me to pause.

"Yeah," I whispered. After a few seconds of silence, I noticed they were all staring and I stood up straight. "Hey, I've been snoozing in a dungeon for the last while. You mind if I see if there's a proper bed somewhere below?" Sash furrowed his brow but nodded and stepped aside. No one else moved to stop me, and so I descended from the helm deck and made my way to the captain's cabin. Inside, I found plenty of bookshelves and a nice desk, as well as a real comfy-looking bed that I immediately took a seat on.

I sat with my mouth open and my brow furrowed. But my mind was drawing a blank. I really wasn't sure how to feel.

They

They left.

Win some, lose some.

I could kind of understand Sneaky since she never hid her feelings and I had enslaved her the second we met. But Nettle?

"We relying on each other, not lying on each other," he had said at one point. I adopted a firm, even look as I processed the past few weeks.

"Guess it was just a necessity thing," I quietly murmured. "Or a me thing." A miserable grunt escaped my chest as I uttered the words and I sank back into my new bed. For a few minutes, I lay and listened to the quiet rumble of the engine before turning my head and spying my books lying beside me. I wasn't sure if I'd misplaced them at some point and they'd appeared there or if I instinctively set them aside. Didn't matter either way.

Pseudo had said there was something in here I missed. Considering he was able to read them at all while even trained unicorns like Twilight had issues, I didn't really doubt he was right, but what could even be inside?

Hopefully, something to keep my mind occupied.

Setting aside the one I'd been drawing all my spells from, I opened one at random and began carefully reading it from the beginning. Three minutes was all it took to find something.

"Holy shit."

Blackbeard grunted and with an effort wrenched himself out of the tree he'd impacted and uprooted upon landing. Rolling to his feet, he swept his feet side to side as he stepped forward through the crowd of other creatures that had landed with him.

"Well, my son," he began as he reached down and patted Blueleaf's belly. "A bit rough, but believe me when I say it beats having the sun dropped on you and then being turned to stone." Blueleaf squeaked in response but remained stock still on his back, staring up at the sky with wide, terrified eyes. Blackbeard chortled quietly and considered Canterlot far, far in the distance. He cupped his hand over his eyes and took in the sheer distance they'd all been thrown.

"I suppose revenge will have to wait," he murmured.

"Revenge?" Blackbeard looked back over his shoulder at the bearded moose who was struggling to his hooves. "I could go for revenge." The other moose beside him attempted to stand as well but collapsed back onto his side.

"Cousin? Did we fail?" Orgnar asked with a wheeze. Yendrek looked Blackbeard up and down before turning to his cousin.

"No, not yet," he replied, scanning the rest of the creatures around them. "I think things went pretty well, actually."

"And you are?" Blackbeard demanded, drawing the moose's attention back.

"Yendrek of the Mountain Saints, ally to Pseudo who I believe you are acquainted with," Yendrek declared, fixing Blackbeard with an inquisitive leer. "It seems plain to me that you are the genuine Avatar he spoke of."

"I believe so," Blackbeard replied with a quiet chuckle. "Which means what to you?"

"It means you are our best bet for toppling the corrupt authorities of Equestria and establishing our own dominion," Yendrek said with a firm nod. Blackbeard beamed and folded his arms at the moose's words.

"Ah, Libertalia, is it?" He said before laughing at Yendrek's perplexed expression. Blackbeard swept his arm across the dazed horde around them. "Fine enough! We'll see what we can accomplish, but first, let's get this rabble in order!" He marched forward, heaved Blueleaf over his shoulder, and gently punched Yendrek on the side as he passed him.

"No proper pirate colony got anywhere sleeping all the time," he added with a wink and a dark chortle before stalking into the host of dazed creatures and violently dragging them to their feet, paws, or hooves one at a time.

Ignoring the cries of her changelings, especially those too injured to hide, Chrysalis blasted one of the boulders that littered the valley she and her horde had been hurled into. With a feral scream, she stomped and fired several beams into the air before whirling about and glaring at the mountain far in the distance.

"So. Close," she hissed. One of the still mobile changelings poked his head out from behind the fallen and rotting tree he'd taken cover behind while the queen seethed. Seeing that she was no longer hurling death with reckless abandon, he dared to spring out of his hiding place and approach her.

"My queen, what are your orders?" The drone asked, failing to draw her attention for even a split second. "Our casualties are numerous, and-" Chrysalis suddenly snapped toward him causing him to hug the ground in fear.

"Wah! Waaah! Ooo hoo hoo!" Chrysalis whined before fixing the drone with a big, dopey, purse-lipped frown and then scoffing with a scowl. "Get over yourselves, there are more important issues at hoof! How am I supposed to conquer the other hives and unite our race without all that extra love energy to feed us and them?" She growled and her wings twitched as she returned her attention to the mountain in the distance.

"So close," she quietly hissed. "You'll pay for this Blackbeard."

"I feel so bad for Princess Luna," Fluttershy mused as Twilight led her and their friends down the cave corridor. While Applejack and Rainbow marched at a slower pace due to the bandages fastened tight around their bodies, Pinkie bounced along, joining Rarity in inspecting the shiny crystals decorating the walls. "I can't believe the Elements left her so weakened."

"It can't be helped. At least Princess Celestia is up and moving again, and can take care of her," Twilight replied with a frown, pausing for a moment when they came to an intersection.

"Perhaps, but she certainly seems to have her hooves full this time," Rarity replied once they got moving again. "Those horrible bipeds, wrecking Canterlot and stealing that aircraft." Twilight offered a solemn nod and looked back at her as they approached the subject of their search.

"Yeah, well, the good news is while she's dealing with the aftermath of all that," she turned forward and fixed the figure before them with a steely glare. "We can take the initiative on dealing with those two."

"Well hello, everypony," Discord purred, rocking his head as best he could. "Nice of you to finally drop in." The rest of the ponies shared an anxious look as Twilight glared at him.

"He's already part of the way free?" Rarity huffed, bringing a hoof to her mouth. "I thought we'd have more time." Discord hummed a laugh as Twilight shook her head.

"No, the princess told me he's been at this stage since she first realized he was getting free," she explained, causing the girls to blink and consider the spirit again.

"And he's been stuck down here all alone like this?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yep. Since Princess Celestia realized what was happening with that Avatar guy," Twilight replied. Fluttershy furrowed her brow and met Discord's smirking face with a look of concern.

"That's," she began, quietly. "That's been a little bit."

"Indeed it has and it's been just dreadful down here all alone," Discord moaned, tilting his head back with a wistful sigh before pursing his lips and then smiling at the ponies. "Well, save for the guards bringing me my meals." Twilight scowled and jabbed him in his petrified leg.

"Discord, you made both of those avatars causing all this trouble, so I want answers," she accused, causing the spirit to raise an eyebrow. "Where would both of them go now that they're free?" Discord squinted one eye in thought.

"Made is a very strong word, Ms. Glint," he nodded. "I prefer enabled." Twilight recoiled with a sour glare.

"What did you call me?" She demanded with a huff. Discord raised both his eyebrows with a gasp.

"Oh dear, you haven't the scarcest idea of your own family history, do you?" He said, his face rapidly shifting to a smug leer. "Has Celestia been keeping that a secret from you, too?" Twilight's friends shared a look as she tilted her head.

"Are you referring to Great-Times-Sixty-Grandma Evening Glint?" She asked.

"Ah-hah, she does pay attention," Discord chortled with a happy nod. "Gold star for you!" Twilight rolled her eyes and jabbed him again, making a hollow 'tink' noise as her hoof struck his stony body.

"Whatever. Just answer my question! Where would either-"

"I'unno. Keeping tabs on constructs and summoned beings is too much work," Discord said with a sage nod. At Twilight's annoyed glare, he paused and pursed his lips. "Though, if you set me free I'd be pleased as pudding to summon something to keep tabs on them for us!" He paused again with a more thoughtful look.

"Of course, then I'd need something to keep tabs on that, and then one to keep tabs on him, and," he narrowed his eyes and grimaced for a few seconds before giving Twilight an inquisitive leer. "Ms. Times-Sixty, you're good at tables and projected numbering nonsense, yes? I'll need your help organizing all the tab-keeping creatures if we're going to make this work." Twilight threw her head back with a groan.

"Unbelievable. We'll figure it out ourselves," she spat, shooting him a final glare before turning to leave. "C'mon, girls."
As they all slipped around the corner, Fluttershy cast a concerned glance back at the spirit. In response, Discord wagged his eyebrows at her for a few seconds until she, with a sad hum, departed as well.

Celestia stood on the balcony just outside the throne room, watching as the moon slowly rolled into place before she cut her spell and let the astral body's natural inclinations take over. With a sigh, she turned her head to look at the tower her sister was fast asleep in. As if it wasn't bad enough that two Avatars were now on the loose, Luna had nearly exhausted her magical core to its breaking point trying to stop one of them.

"Rest well, Lulu," Celestia mentally prayed before returning inside. She slowly stepped to the center of the room where she stood in silent thought with her eyes cast down. "It was supposed to be a happy day for Cadance. For all of us." She was drawn out of her thoughts when the door cracked open.

"Princess, the heads of several families wish to speak with you," a guard declared.

"Oh, wonderful," she groused, taking a deep breath and bristling her wings before nodding. "Let them in." The door shut behind the guard, granting Celestia just a few seconds to compose herself. As a result, she turned and faced the sextet of scowling and visibly annoyed ponies with a smile. Two were mares, both pegasi, one green and the other blue, one was an earth pony with a dusty brown coat, and the other three were all unicorns. Of these, two were identical with yellow coats, while the last was the most severe of the bunch and had a white coat with a black mane.

Each pony was exceptionally well dressed, though the white unicorn stood out due to the row of medals pinned to his red overcoat.

"Good evening, everypony," she chirped. Scanning the group, she masked the immense feeling of relief that washed over her. With one exception, none of them had any family in the guard nor any property within Canterlot itself. And of course, that one could hardly claim to care about his family in the guard. "How are you all doing? I hope today's events didn't cause any of you much alarm."

"Much alarm? The capital was invaded!" The blue mare cried.

"Yes, it was," Celestia replied with a sage nod before offering a smile. "And we repelled the invasion before our foe could properly secure the city." The mare rolled her eyes and scowled.

"The fact that it happened at all is deeply concerning, Your Majesty," the brown stallion grumbled. "And then there's this business about another sealed creature managing to escape."

"And the Elements of Harmony are, as we speak, making preparations to respond to this escape," Celestia retorted. She raised a hoof and adopted a serene, even expression. "I feel I must remind you we live on a very magically rich continent. Mishaps and monsters are as common as the cold." The ponies all shared a look save the white unicorn and Celestia swept her hoof out with a smile.

"But I ask you all to take heart. Despite all that has transpired, Canterlot still stands," she added. "Furthermore-"

"The city stands, but for how long?" The white unicorn suddenly interjected, causing her ear to twitch. "You failed to prevent this attack. You failed to handle Discord's escape before he set the world all topsy-turvy."

"The Long Night of recent memory cost a small fortune to get all the clocks fixed!" One of the twins added.

"And I paid for the airship one of those freaks stole!" The other twin cried, stomping his hoof. "Let's not forget that!" Celestia's smile didn't waver, but before she could reply, the brown stallion shook his head.

"It's obvious you are no longer able to perform the one action for which you and your sister were given your thrones," he spat with a firm nod. "And so, I along with these others now openly declare a vote of no confidence." Celestia's breath hitched, though she didn't let it show. She regarded the group with a cold, even expression.

"Are you certain now is the time for this?" She asked after a few seconds, at which the stallion scoffed. "As you've said, currently there are a few villains who-"

"Regardless of what shape these threats take, it's clear we're in no worse shape with you on the throne or not, Celestia," the blue mare declared. Celestia considered her for a moment before humming and scanning the whole group. Her eyes kept settling on the white unicorn, who was staring right back at her with more steel in his eyes than the others.

"You then? And what are you up to," she asked herself before closing her eyes and attempting to pry at the group with a serene expression.

"I understand your concerns, and while it saddens me, if this is how you wish to proceed, I will make the arrangements with the other families," her eyes slowly opened and locked onto the unicorn. "But have you considered what will happen if the vote passes? Neither my sister nor myself have named or produced an heir."

She smiled and tilted her head. "It would take months, maybe even years to find a replacement." One of the twins nodded in response and raised a hoof.

"According to tradition, in the event of the throne being vacant, the former ruler's nearest blood relation from the three tribes would take the throne," he said before pausing for a moment as if he was finished. A brief, almost unseen glance from the white unicorn caused him to clear his throat with a nod. "And considering Cadenza is an alicorn, and adopted besides, that presents only one option." Celestia's serene mask completely shattered and she recoiled with a hearty scoff.

"Blueblood?" She squawked. "You can't be serious?" The twins both shrugged in tandem.

"Why not? He's your nephew, give or take a few generations, so I'm sure you've raised him well enough," one of them said. Celestia's jaw hung loose in disbelief, at which the green mare stepped forward.

"We've already discussed this at length, and our dear Goldflame has some input to offer," she declared with a smile before nodding at the white unicorn. Goldflame nodded and brought his hoof to his chest.

"As a sign of confidence in the young prince, I offer my daughter's hoof in marriage," he declared. Celestia recoiled again, though she immediately set her face in a critical leer.

"There it is," she thought. "There's what you're playing at." She considered Goldflame for a moment before something clicked and she smiled.

"I see! Well, that is interesting to hear," her smile turned venomous. "And where is Lieutenant Honeysuckle?" Goldflame hesitated, but she was the only pony who would have noticed.

"Considering the events that have transpired today, it should not be too surprising that she is not present. She was apparently assaulted by that demon you allowed to go free," he declared with a scoff and nodded his head back at the door. "No doubt she is among the injured in the infirmary. I will visit her as soon as this meeting is over."

"Apparently assaulted, hm?" Celestia thought, completely failing to mask her feelings and smiling wide at the unicorn. "You don't know where she is at all, do you?" Goldflame met her eyes for a few moments before breaking eye contact. Celestia's smile darkened.

"Well, I'd hate to keep you. I've heard your complaints and your declaration and will have Ms. Inkwell put forth the necessary notices to the other families so we can resolve this quickly," she declared with a nod.

The private garden of Goldflame estate was one of the only properties still illuminated when the clock struck twelve. As the moon sat at its highest point, the five ponies who'd joined Goldflame in confronting the princess basked in its light while enjoying the amenities their host had left them with.

"This wine is divine," Lofty Heights, the green mare, purred as she sipped from her glass, holding it with both hooves before sliding down and curling up on the outdoor sofa she, Jupiter, the other pegasus, and Basket Weaver, the brown stallion, were sat upon.

"According to the label, it's imported from that one country!" Mirror Sheen one of the twins chirped as he inspected the bottle and paced the patio. "The one with the bipedal cats!" His brother, Mirror Shine, sitting in a chair across the table from the sofa, groaned and shook his head.

"Don't mention bipeds around me please," he begged before throwing his head back with a moan. "I can't believe that thing stole my ship!"

"You were donating it to the military anyway!" Juniper said, waving her hoof at him. "Not like you were going to use it." Shine scowled at her.

"That's-" He was cut off when the door swung open and Goldflame came trotting outside. He snatched the bottle from the other twin in his magic and began pouring himself a glass.

"She isn't in the infirmary," he declared. "And a few eyewitnesses hiding near the dock saw her embark with the biped who stole the airship." He threw back his glass as his cohorts cried out in horror before arguing with each other.

"I told you we should have waited!" Sheen managed to yell at Goldflame over the others. "Waited until you had her locked up in her room! WHY did you make us move now?!" Goldflame sighed quietly and glanced back at him.

"This was the first time she's been back in Canterlot in months, and the first time she messed up enough to be discharged," he explained before staring into his empty glass. "Alongside the invasion, the timing was too pristine to pass up." He grimaced as Juniper's reflection appeared in his glass over his shoulder.

"You say that like it excuses you. This entire scheme relies on us having somepony we can control who can corral Blueblood!" She spat, jabbing a hoof at him. "Your girl's the only one old enough who's still single, Goldflame. At least in this circle." The group stopped arguing and turned their aggression on him.

"Yeah! And not only did you let her run off and join the guard, but now you let her escape the city altogether!" Weaver yelled, stomping his hoof on the table. "You said you were going to get her discharged and back in Canterlot! Months ago." The earth pony ground his hoof into the table with a glare. However, once Goldflame turned to face the rest of the group, he wilted and relaxed in his seat.

"I am aware of all of this, and have been working to do just as I said," the unicorn declared, setting his glass down. "And I intend to bring my wayward spawn back to Canterlot one way or another just in time for her and our dear prince to be wed and take the throne." The five shared a look before Mirror Sheen cleared his throat.

"How're you gonna do that?" He asked. Goldflame raised an eyebrow and pulled a note from his coat, presenting it to the twin.

"Whole Grain forwarded a contact to me for just such an occasion in exchange for our good graces once we have things ordered. I'm heading to Dodge City to meet said contact now," he explained as Sheen's eyebrows raised and an eager smile broke across his face. Goldflame considered the rest as they huddled behind Sheen to try and read the note as well. "You are all clever. While I am away, do what you can to keep the pressure on Her Majesty while keeping Blueblood free from the leeches skulking our fair city."

A three-day train ride found Goldflame annoyed and striding with his personal guards along the dusty road of Dodge City. The pair of swords rattling on his sides ensured that, even if he was alone, the riff-raff of the underdeveloped little village would give him a wide berth. As a result, he quickly found the ugly little building where Baron Wheat had promised he'd find who he was looking for.

Stepping up off the dusty road and having one of his guards push the swinging door open, he stepped inside and narrowed his eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the dark room within. Before his sight returned, his senses were assaulted first by the untuned racket that must have passed for music coming from what sounded like a record player, then by the smell.

Goldflame had expected the lower class this far out to have a unique odor about them, but this was something different. Once his vision was clear, he understood why. There was hardly anyone inside, save for the waiting staff, the bartender, a single table with four ponies at one corner, and another table with one patron at the complete opposite corner.

Unique was the kindest word that came to mind, and even then only by necessity of not wanting to offend the creature.

Goldflame wasn't certain the creature was natural, as it looked more like something some mad sorcerer would have conjured up to mock the gods. It was bipedal and furry like an Abyssinian or Diamond Dog, and that was fine. But the issues came from its fur, first off. It was as if there were multiple layers of the stuff all with different thicknesses and rigidity. If that was all, it could be excused, but its claws suffered from something similar. As the creature carefully wiped its mouth with a napkin, its strange claws, which seemed to have a single dog nail in the center of each digit with three cat talons surrounding them, were clearly visible.

The sight of its claws drew Goldflame's eyes up its arms to its body which was hunched in two places and had several scaly, bony plates growing over its vital regions.

Finally, its head and its face. It had a squat skull and overly large cat-like eyes, set under soft, drooping lids, and thick hanging jowls on either side of its squished muzzle which only served to accentuate its teeth. Each tooth was sharp and round like a dog's, but there were splinter-like little fangs that sprang up between each tooth in irregular bunches like porcupine quills.

Taking in the sight of the creature, Goldflame considered the heavy coat, hat, and mask hanging beside the door before approaching the table the beast was sitting at.

The entire corner of the building was vacant save for the creature. Even the waiting staff seemed reluctant to pass too close. When Goldflame approached the creature's table he understood their reluctance and where the smell was coming from.

"Where did you get that?" He asked, gesturing to the steaming lobster the creature was eating. "I do not believe they serve meat or fish here." The creature paused as he prepared to rip one of the crustacean's claws off before regarding Goldflame with a subdued smile.

"Didn't use to," he said in a rough, raspy voice. He set down the claw he had and folded his claws together. "But I started haulin' 'em in myself. Told 'em how to prep it and gave 'em a real shiny tip to make 'em do it. Been a regular thin' ever since." The creature inhaled sharp and then let out a heavy, body-shaking laugh.

"Course, I reckon I was just havin' fun," he cackled quietly, wagging his claw at the bartender. "That there chef bout near had a fit when he realized y'cook 'em alive." The creature smiled wide and Goldflame looked back to see the pony bartender glaring and shaking his head.

"I see," Goldflame hummed before returning his attention to the creature. "You are the one they call Bad Teeth, yes?" A change took place and the creature's smile wavered for a moment, though his eyes now bore a dark, malicious glint.

"Shoot, not to my face," he declared, sucking a shallow breath through his teeth. "And not more than once. Call me Double." Goldflame paused as the creature stared at him.

"I understand you have a talent for tracking individuals," he finally said.

"I understand them words means you got someone in mind," Double retorted, relaxing back in his seat with a close-lipped smile.

"My daughter, Honeysuckle," Goldflame replied, gesturing to one of his guards who approached and set a photo on the table. "She is late for her wedding." Double jabbed the photo with a claw and rotated his paw to look at him.

"Aw, right perty thing there," he hummed and pursed his lips. "Y'got somethin of hers? Somethin personal? Hairband, sock, anything?" Goldflame removed one of his swords and presented it to the creature.

"She wore this sword often," he explained as Double grabbed the sword with both hands. "She believed it belonged to her mother." Double hummed in response and turned it over. Slowly, he brought it to his nose and began inhaling along the length of its scabbard. He paused, furrowed his brow, and sniffed the air at Goldflame. Frowning, he resumed sniffing the sword for a few seconds before humming with a nod.

"Aw right, that's her I think," he sighed and set the sword on the table. "How much?"

"How much do you desire?" Goldflame asked.

"Your whole fortune. Every last coin," Double said plainly. Goldflame squawked and recoiled.

"What! You cannot be serious?" His eye twitched when the creature laughed aloud.

"Reckon nobody told you, you outta have a sum in mind when speakin' with me," he chortled and winked at the pony. "I'll give you a second chance, old top." Goldflame glared at Double for a moment before nodding at the sword.

"This sword will fetch a fair price," he said. Double grimaced and scratched his chest, rocking his head back and forth.

"Sho'nuff, but I'm hafta find someone willin' to pawn it off to," he said with a half yawn. "Let's say I take the sword now and when I get her back to you you pay me five hundred minotaur drachs."

"I only deal in bits and gems," Goldflame retorted with a shake of his head. Double grunted and rolled his eyes.

"Shoot, eight hundred pony bits then," he said, sliding the sword to the side and leaning over his plate. "Square?"

"Bon," Goldflame replied with a nod. He watched as Double nodded back and began cracking the shell of his meal. "When will you be leaving?" Double paused and looked at him wide-eyed, making a display as he violently ripped the shell of his food apart and then scraped its flesh against his bizarre teeth. After a few seconds of open-mouthed chewing, he swallowed hard and licked his teeth.

"Soon as I polish off this here sea roach," he replied, holding eye contact and tearing into his lobster again. Goldflame winced at the noise it made before nodding and turning to leave. Once the ponies were gone, Double relaxed and cleaned his claws with a cloth before resuming his meal in a more reserved fashion. His eyes drifted to the photo he'd been left and a grim smile worked its way to his face.

Discord rocked his head as best he could, humming quietly to himself as he counted the sparkling crystals all around them. Finding himself lost in the rhythm of the song he'd invented he smiled and closed his eyes.
Then his eyes shot open with a gasp.

"A harmonic tune?" He cried and his eyes darted around as realization crept to the forefront of his mind. "With proper timing, rhythm, and measures? By the Outer Gods, I am going crazy down here." He sighed miserably and began attempting to scramble the notes he'd been humming before the sound of hooves clicking against stone met his ears. Looking up, he smirked at what he found.

"Well well well! The littlest Element-bearer," he jeered as Fluttershy approached with a basket in her mouth. She paused and set it down in front of him before looking up to meet his eyes.

"Uhm, actually I'm the second oldest after Rarity," she explained before gasping and waving her hooves. "Oh! Don't tell her I said that, please."

"My lips are sealed, but I warn you I am a phenomenal ventriloquist," Discord replied. He glared down at her impatiently. "What do you want?" She blinked and gently pawed the ground.

"Well, everypony else is busy with a lot of stuff I don't really understand," she smiled up at him and gently nudged her basket. "So, I figured I'd come and keep you company for a little bit." She opened the basket and began removing a pair of wrapped plates with something nice smelling on them, and a deck of cards. Discord furrowed his brow.

"Why?" He demanded as she set everything out and unfurled a plate of warm cookies that caught his eye.

"Well," she began, slowly. "I think you were mostly joking, but it seems pretty lonely and dark down here." She considered the cave for a moment before offering him a frown.

"I wouldn't want to be stuck down here alone," she added before smiling and gesturing to her things with a hoof. "So, yeah! I brought some snacks and some cards we could play with." She recoiled with a quiet gasp.

"Uhm, well, I guess you can't really hold them without your claws," she murmured, tapping her chin. Then she blinked and regarded her hooves. "But I don't have claws either, so it probably balances out!" She looked up at him with a wide smile, presenting her fore hooves as she did so. Discord considered her for a few seconds, before sighing and smiling.

"I see."

Chapter 16

Celestia took a delicate sip from her tea, enjoying its warmth which complimented the sun's light that was beaming through the windows of the private sitting chamber she'd asked Twilight and her friends to meet her in. Of course, despite the cozy atmosphere of the room, it was tinged with an anxious air as the princess' words hit home for the five younger ponies present and gathered around the low table with her. Five, as Fluttershy had politely declined the meeting for some reason.

"They- They can't just do that can they?" Rainbow demanded with an uncharacteristic quaver. Her head whipped back and forth as she looked around the table for an answer from her friends. "Like, I didn't think it was legal to try and kick the princesses out!"

"That's sadly just a simplification," Twilight murmured in response, her eyes cast down at the table and her ears pressed against her skull. "And sadly, yes, what they're doing is legal." Rainbow recoiled slightly and slowly sank in her spot. Celestia hummed, drawing the ponies' attention back to her.

"Now that the heads of at least three noble families have declared 'no confidence', the other families must all come to Canterlot," she explained, managing a serene smile despite everything. "That in and of itself will take time, and once they arrive the process of deciding whether or not the throne should be vacated will also take time." Pinkie gasped and shot up before jabbing a hoof in the air.

"That means we have time to find a way to stop them, right?!" She cried, at which Rainbow blinked and then beamed.

"Yeah! What she said!" She added. With the exception of Twilight and Applejack, all eyes again turned to Celestia. The former still had her head hanging, and the latter had her attention locked on Twilight. Celestia meanwhile hummed and nodded.

"In a manner of speaking," she said, drawing hopeful smiles from the ponies. She tilted her head in thought as she continued. "Though, I am not entirely blindsided by this turn of events. I have a few contingencies I can pursue." Twilight's ears perked up at her words and she looked up at her mentor. Before she or anyone could ask, however, Celestia continued, rising from her seat.

"In the meanwhile, I would like you to focus your efforts on apprehending the Avatars of Chaos," she explained with a solemn nod. "Regardless of what happens to Luna or myself, those two must not be allowed to run rampant." The girls stared at her for a moment before sharing a determined look. They all rose from their seats as well and lined up beside each other.

"If you think that's the best course of action, you can count on us," Twilight declared.

"Darn straight," Applejack added before rubbing her chin. "But, uh, there bein' two of 'em and all, don't reckon you have a notion which one we should, uh, get after first?" She fixed the princess with a hopeful look. Celestia smiled at the six before tilting her head back in thought. Her eyes drifted left and right a few times, and her wing bristled once. Finally, she nodded and faced them again.

"Of the two, I believe Blackbeard to be the greater threat," she replied with a severe look that the girls mirrored upon hearing the villain's name. "Mr. Fremont is a relatively new arrival to our world and despite the loose following he has gained, I do not believe he has had time to establish himself or gain enough knowledge of our world to be as serious a threat."

"-When used by at least one or more individuals who represent the stated Elements of Friendship, the power of the Elements will enable them to produce a single, unstoppable spell effect," I read aloud, my hand slowly dragging down my chin as I nodded. "The effect of this spell is virtually unlimited, but a wise, or perhaps petty redacted may prefer to tune its effects to match the exact intention the individuals were attempting to achieve." I snorted a quiet laugh at the wording. Even though this was one of the 'newer' entries, it still matched what I'd expect from this kind of book.

"Examples include having the target simply leave the vicinity if the desired effect was to get rid of them, but not destroy them outright. Huh," I rested my head back against the headboard of my bed. "Yeah, okay. I can work with that." Setting my book down with the others beside me, I reached over to the sandwich I'd been brought a few hours ago. Once again, I was in real wizard hours and had forgone simple mortal needs in favor of study. Sash hadn't appreciated that statement when he delivered my food, but he was but a mere sheep. And he also couldn't read what my books said.

As I munched on my food, I leered at the set of books that I'd largely neglected until we left Canterlot and mentally chastised myself for that. Even Discord had instructed me to study them all carefully, so it wasn't as if I had a solid excuse. I'd just been too focused on the immediate gratification and use that came from just the spells. Then again, who trusts Discord to know what the best course of action is at any given time?

I don't know how much all this information would have helped me days ago, but then again hindsight is twenty-twenty. And I do get the feeling if I had known all this garbage that I might've been a little overwhelmed and fumbled at a critical moment.

After all, having a Monster-Manual-styled catalog of, well, every living species and monster as well as several high-profile named individuals and an entire book mostly dedicated to the countless magical tools and gizmos lurking in the world is quite a bit of information to digest. Even now that I'd decided to only focus on reading on the Elements of Harmony, the jewels, not the ponies since they apparently either weren't important enough or weren't powerful enough on their own to get their own entries, it was still a lot to take in. And I still hadn't checked what the rest of my books had, cover-to-cover.

Granted, like with everything else Discord had given me, there were some quirks. For example, where the writing was obviously intended to reference the 'Dungeon Master' or 'Referee,' it instead said redacted. There was also an immovable sticky note firmly adhered to the page with the Elements that read 'Fingers crossed this is patched out in the fifth edition! Still not as bad as the Rainbow in first, however.' Whatever that meant.

A knock at my door followed by the voice of Sugarplum drew me out of my musing. "Avatar?"

"I am delving into deeper lore and do not wish to be disturbed," I replied, wiping my mouth with my thumb.

"Oh! Sorry. I just wanted to tell you we made it home," she replied. I hummed and nodded, finishing the last of my food before carefully stacking my books together.

"Excellent, thank you. I'll be out in just a moment," I called back.

By the time I made it onto the deck, the cultists were already disembarking. The ship was brought down to hover just inside the fort wall, and the gangplank was extended to the wall itself. I leaned over the edge of the ship opposite the fort wall and scanned the courtyard. Despite not being vacant for all that long, there was a hefty layer of dust and sand built up over everything, and the gate was still broken.

"We aren't going to be here permanently. We're just waiting for Psuedo to return," Sash said, drawing my attention to him at my side. He leered down at the courtyard with a weary expression. "Now that the Equestrian government knows about this place, we're going to have to find a new hideout."

"Lucky for us we nabbed that airship!" Turnip called from the edge of the gangplank. "That'll make the move way easier." Sash nodded at him as he and his sister disembarked. Sugarplum looked back at me with an unreadable expression before dipping out of sight.

"In any case, please make yourself comfortable Av- Victor, in your old room or otherwise. I'll send somewooly to let you know when Pseudo returns," Sash said, offering me a smile.

"Gotcha. Thanks, Sash," I replied. With that, he bowed and made his way for the plank. I lingered for a moment and looked down at the yard again. The cultists began spilling out and heading for the caves. All the little shacks and such that had been here previously were gone, and the piles of debris in a few places suggested they'd either collapsed or been deliberately torn down.

Watching the cultists and studying the old fort wound up holding my attention for longer than I intended. As I leaned and rested on the ship's railing, Sneaky and Nettle popped up in my mind, specifically their absence. I once again mulled over the fact they'd cut ties and dipped the moment they had the chance to, and found myself wondering 'Why?'

With Sneaky it still kind of made sense, but then again, the memory of our talk at that awful little hotel popped up. Hell, the memory brought with it a dull ache in my knee from where she'd nailed me. I held my chin with one hand and furrowed my brow.

Even if I granted Sneaky the admittedly reasonable desire to be done with me despite my show of trust and sincerity, what about Nettle? What had I done or not done to make him willing to cut ties?

And all of this led me to wonder about the cult.

They were firmly in the ride-or-die camp for me, but that was because they believed I was some weird society messiah or something, and therein came a glaring issue. You don't just go and upset the balance of the wider world without having to trade blows with the people profiting off that balance. I hadn't even managed to play nice with someone who'd upset that balance without getting hurt, how the hell could I make the kind of changes they believed I could?

And when they realized I couldn't?

"What are you going to do now, Goobèr?" I nearly jumped out of my skin and whirled around to see Honeysuckle beside and staring at me. I caught my breath and scowled.

"My plans and intentions are beyond your ken, creature," I hissed in my wizard voice. She snorted and screwed up her face.

"Uh-huh, is that why you had that ditzy, lost look in your eyes a second ago?" She asked causing my eye to twitch. She huffed and glanced down at the courtyard. "I still find it utterly bewildering these wayward souls think you're going to solve anything for them." A chill danced up my skin and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Maybe I'll surprise you. I haven't really had a chance to get started," I spat, at which she tilted her head. Glancing down, I saw Turnip and Sugarplum making their way inside. "Still don't know who Bad Teeth is, for instance." She hummed and slowly nodded with a palpable sarcasm.

"Bien sûr, bien sûr. And he's a monster if you actually care," she explained with a grunt before making her way to the gangplank. "Where he came from I cannot say for sure, but there are rumors." I furrowed my brow and moved to follow her.

"Such as?" I pressed. She glanced over her shoulder at me with a thoughtful hum.

"A few other lieutenants believe he was abducted as a pup from some Diamond Dog hole and mutated by unicorn academic wizards," she explained as we descended from the wall before fixing me with a smug leer. "Like the ones I was going to give you to, actually." I hummed and nodded with a slight shrug.

"Not as bad as what I gave your mom last night," I retorted. She froze right as her hooves touched the soil and clenched her teeth.

"Vile, little-" She shuddered and huffed. "Just go talk to Turnip or his sister if you care, Dork."

"Will do," I chirped, striding past her and waving back as we parted ways. "See you, Honey! Try not to get lost or hurt, 'cause God forbid you make me happy."

"If my continued survival is such an irritant, then I shall endeavor to ascend to Alicornhood, Goobèr," she called back. "Just for you." Having read about Alicorns and their immortality and power, the thought of Honeysuckle achieving such a state sent an icy chill across my entire hide.

Suppressing that dark image, I made my way into the cave system. Slipping by the starry-eyed other cultists and only having to ask for directions once, I quickly found Turnip and Sugarplum having a hushed conversation and turning into one of the little rooms.

"Excuse me," I said once I arrived at the entrance to their room. They both turned and looked at me in surprise.

"Avatar?" Sugarplum squeaked.

"Hey, what's up?" Turnip asked. I stepped inside, idly studying their space as I did. It was just a simple little room with two beds and not much else, not even any chairs, so I stood with my arms tucked under each other.

"Sorry to bug you, but I was looking to get some details on who this 'Bad Teeth' weirdo is, and I heard you'd be able to help me out," I explained. Turnip jolted and Sugarplum's ears snapped back before she shook and then tumbled over. I flinched as she whimpered and blinked away tears that began to form. "What-"

"You! Go find Victor!" Sash commanded before the pony he was ordering split off and galloped down a separate corridor. Sash continued hurrying to the courtyard and upon emerging, he found the rest of the Children of Change gathered around their high priest. Sharing a look of relief with his two remaining companions, the sheep trotted down to meet him. As he approached, his fellow cultists parted and he quickly found himself looking up at the high priest.

"Pseudo!" Sash cried.

"I have come to collect a few things from my office which may or may not be useful," the tall creature said plainly. He looked up at the caves dotting the cliff. "I also suspected Blackbeard may have been directed to this place. It does not seem so, however." Sash paused and looked about at the other cultists, only then noting the anxious and confused stares they were sharing.

"What about Blackbeard?" One of the ponies who'd followed Sash asked. Pseudo glanced down at him.

"He is the Avatar and I will be attending him," he replied, raising one hand. "Or I will not. Death follows him closely, so survival is not guaranteed." Sash wilted.

"Attend- What are you saying?" He huffed.

"I am saying that Victor Fremont is not the Avatar I sought," Pseudo said with a wave of his hand. "He is an Avatar, certainly, but he is tainted." Sash's jaw dropped and through the corner of his eye, he saw the shocked expressions of his fellows.

"Tainted?" He murmured.

"I could have told you that," Honeysuckle chirped from somewhere amidst the crowd. Sash shot a glare in her direction before looking up at Pseudo again.

"There is within him a sickness that I perceived from the moment I laid eyes upon him," the priest explained. "It is far too common a thing in thinking beings, and has no place in an Avatar I follow." Pseudo raised both hands and closed his eyes.

"Blackbeard is free from this thing. He does as he desires from the moment he desires it," he added clenching his hands together and bowing his head. "Id given flesh. Chaos on two legs. The safety of those who follow him is not even guaranteed. Who better to carry the title and my loyalty?" He held his hands out to Sash and tilted his head, causing the sheep to stammer.

"You- I don't understand," Sash huffed recoiling a few steps and shaking his head. "How can somewooly like that build a new-"

"It was never my intention to build anything," Pseudo said with an uncharacteristic sharpness that caused Sash to bristle. "But I also saw no reason to dissuade you from such perceptions. You are, as they say, a useful idiot." Ice crawled across Sash's skin as Pseudo's words hit, and the tall creature's eyes took on a cavernous, void-like quality. Though they were the same blue spheres they'd always been, the vacancy, the apathy, and the indifference within them were now all too visible to the sheep. The entire gathering shuddered and looked between Sash and Pseudo, as the change in the pair's bond was felt by all.

Then, as Pseudo snapped his attention up and away from Sash, they all turned to see Victor emerge from the cave, led by one of the ponies who had been accompanying Sash. The human's eyes were uneasy and his brow was tightly knit. As he approached, his gaze briefly passed over Pseudo before locking onto Sash, who slowly turned and quietly gasped before murmuring at the human.

"Victor, Pseudo is-" Victor cut him off with a shaking, raised hand. He paused and seemed to catch his breath before pointing at Pseudo.

"I'll talk to you in a minute, okay?" He hastily asked.

"No. I am collecting my things and leaving," Pseudo said plainly. Victor tilted his head slightly as Pseudo swept his arms out and faced the crowd. "As always, you are encouraged to do as you please. But I do not go with the bespectacled magician." He finished his statement by staring back at Victor, who fixed him with a perplexed leer for a moment before shaking his head.

"What the fuck ever, you weirdo," he spat and waved his hand drawing a gasp from the crowd. Pseudo recoiled at his response but said nothing as Victor approached and knelt near Sash's eye level. "Listen, you're tuned in to things, right?" Sash blinked and furrowed his brow, still reeling from Pseudo's declarations.

"Huh?" He quietly huffed. Victor rolled his hand and shook his head as he searched for the words.

"Like, you know how noble guys work, and all that?" He asked. Sash's eyes darted slightly before he slowly nodded, a gesture Victor mimicked. "Cool, uh." He bit his lip and rolled his hand again.

"If I wanted-" He hesitated and stared off to the side. "If I wanted to hurt one. Like really ruin him." He sucked in a breath and met Sash's uneasy eyes.

"Do you think you'd have an idea for how to do so?" A tense quiet fell between the two, during which time Pseudo slipped away. Finally, Sash swallowed and nodded.

"Ah, it- It depends. Who are you referring to?" He murmured and tilted his head. Victor nodded slowly and glanced back over his shoulder at the caves.

"She said his name's Whole Grain," he replied before meeting Sash's eyes again. "You know him?"

TWO YEARS PRIOR

"Happy birthday, Sugarplum!" Sugarplum flinched, as the moment she'd opened her door to get ready for breakfast, her uncle, Nectar, had popped up and all but shouted in her face. Blinking, she looked left and right down the short four-door hall her room was in. Seemingly, the little two-story farmhouse she'd lived in for many years now was undecorated, confirming her suspicions and adding to her confusion.

"It's not my birthday," she murmured, fixing her uncle with a perplexed stare. The green, yellow-bearded earth pony blinked and then recoiled.

"Aw, shoot, my mistake!" he huffed, taking a step back before whirling around and holding something out to her. "Well, guess I'd better give you this to keep you from telling your brother I got my days mixed up when he gets home! That'd be embarrassing." Sugarplum looked down and smiled before taking the fluffy stuffed sheep doll her uncle presented.

"Thanks, Uncle Nectar," she replied with a giggle before the two shared a hug. They held each other for a few moments, during which time Sugar's smile faltered and her eyes drifted to the now vacant room beside her own. "I miss him." Nectar sighed quietly and nodded.

"Yeah, I miss him too," he replied before pulling back and holding her chin with his hoof, offering a smile. "But he's only got a two-year contract. He'll be back before we know it." Sugar took a shallow breath and nodded, managing a smile in response after a moment. Both of their happy expressions wavered when a knock came at the door, however.

"Ah, I'll get it," Nectar said with a grunt, gesturing to the bathroom door as he began to descend the stairs. "Breakfast ain't ready yet, so go ahead and get cleaned up." Sugarplum nodded, but lingered for a moment, considering the little stuffed sheep in her hooves. Giving it a squeeze she slipped back into her room and set the doll on her pillow before heading for the bathroom. Before she made it, however, she heard Nectar stifle a shout. Curiosity got the better of her and she crept to the top of the stairs and peeked down.

Nectar was still at the door but had pulled back a few steps, allowing the local governor, Baron Whole Grain, two of his guards, and a tall thing in a heavy coat and smiling mask to step inside. Despite the mysterious looming creature's presence, it was the sight of the thin and sneering orange unicorn baron that unnerved Sugarplum.

"You said you'd forgive that dang road tax if I let you ship Turnip off to the guard!" Nectar whisper-yelled, stamping a hoof at the baron. "For cryin' out loud, I practically sold one of my dang foals to you!" Whole Grain snorted and brushed a hoof against his coat pocket.

"He was your sister's, not yours," the baron hummed, drawing an angry growl from Nectar, at which the tall creature stirred. One of the creature's arms slowly slipped into its coat, but the baron held up a hoof. "And since you brought him up, let's talk about young Turnip, hm?" The baron began pacing around Nectar who tracked his movements with a scowl.

"He's in a very good position right now. Nice and safe in central Equestria," Grain purred with a slow nod. "He's fortunate they didn't deploy him somewhere dangerous, like to the border or the Crystal Mountains. But that's no coincidence, Nectar. That's my doing." Once he was in front of Nectar again, the baron turned to face him with an even glare.

"I could very easily pull a few more strings to reverse what I've done for him, you know," he added. Sugarplum quietly gasped as Nectar's jaw dropped. While the two stallions held each other's attention, Sugarplum noticed the tall creature seemed to glance up her way for just a moment.

"You're a liar," Nectar finally spat, retreating a step. "You can't-"

"Are you willing to bet his life on that?" Grain chortled. A tense silence followed for a few seconds.

"You ain't forgave nothing," Nectar murmured, looking at the baron in disbelief. "You just wanted a darned hostage." Grain pursed his lips with a hum as he turned to the door, his entourage parting as he made his way.

"Think what you want, so long as part of your thoughts are on how you're going to pay what you owe," the baron paused just at the door, casting a sneer back at Nectar. "And if selling this land is too much to bear, well." His eyes drifted up the stairs and briefly fell on Sugarplum before she ducked out of sight.

"You could always sell the other one," Whole Grain added with a laugh. Several hooves and the heavy footfalls of the tall creature followed and then the door clicked shut. A painful silence followed, during which Nectar uttered a heartfelt groan. Slowly, Sugarplum peeked back out to see him sitting just before the door with his head hanging. However, as if sensing her, he perked up and looked up at her, managing a weak smile once their eyes met.

"I'm sorry Turnip and I had to come live with you," she squeaked, causing Nectar to jolt and jump to his hooves.

"What?" He squawked as he began trotting up the stairs to her. She averted her eyes and wiped on with a hoof.

"If you didn't have to pay for our schooling and food and all that when we were growing up-" She was cut off when Nectar made it beside her and pulled her into a hug.

"Naw! You hush up," he curtly demanded, holding her tight. Sugar clenched her eyes and threw her forelegs around his neck in response. "I'll figure something out. That old grump's just mad I didn't sell him this farm years back." The pair held each other for a few minutes before finally parting and sharing a smile. Then, Nectar nodded his head at the stairs, leading the way to the kitchen. Once there, Sugarplum sat at the table while Nectar dug into the fridge.

"But how're we gonna pay off the road tax? If we pull any wagons into town, the baron'll charge us for it again," she grumbled, fidgeting as she glanced through the window at the rows of trees and the vineyard they'd tended. "So we can't even sell the stuff we're growing." Nectar kicked the fridge shut as he carried a jar of pickles in his teeth. Once he arrived at the table, he set the jar down and sighed.

"And my hip's still aching so I can't run the farm on my own," Nectar replied. Sugarplum sat with her head resting miserably on the table, and she winced slightly when a pickle suddenly rolled over and bumped her nose. Blinking and looking up at her uncle's smirking face, she tilted her head. "Yep. It's a real pickle, alright." Sugarplum stared evenly at him for a moment before averting her eyes with a quiet snort and a smirk. Grabbing the pickle with her magic she took a bite from it and looked off to the side at the kitchen's calendar. There was a big red circle on it, indicating when the Summer Sun Celebration had been.

"What about the princess?" Sugarplum suddenly asked, turning to look at Nectar who blinked in response. "Doesn't she have stuff set up to help ponies in need? Can't we write her for help or something?" Nectar paused and rubbed his chin.

"Now that you mention it, I'm pretty darn certain this is what the day court is for," he hummed, rolling his head to and fro in thought. "Folks coming up to Canterlot and approaching the throne with their problems and such, you know?" Sugarplum tensed up at his words and the hopeful smile that formed on his face.

"Do you think we could do that?" She squeaked.

"Shoot, we could try!" Nectar replied with a firm stomp.

The next morning, Sugarplum pulled the door to the farmhouse shut with her magic before trotting up beside her uncle, who marched forward with a poorly masked wince. He made it as far as the fence gate before stopping to adjust his saddlebags with a grunt.

"You okay?" Sugar asked as she trotted just ahead of him. Despite his nod, she frowned and grabbed at his bag with her magic. "Here, let me take your bag." He waved a hoof at her.

"Aw, I'm fine. Don't worry about me," he grunted, hastily standing up straight and taking a firm step forward. "Come on, can't miss our-" Sugar tilted her head before turning to see what he was staring at, wilting with a squeak at the sight of the tall creature who had visited the day before, standing a dozen feet up the road. Except for the farm's little orchard and vineyard, the road was free from any shrubs or trees, making the thing's sudden appearance all the more frightening. There was simply no place it could have been hiding up until she noticed it. And something that tall and menacing would've been easy to spot from the front porch, Sugar thought.

The creature's masked head gently swayed left and right as if it was studying the pair carefully, and Nectar took another step toward it with a huff.

"Mr. Bad Teeth, right?" He demanded, causing the creature to pause. After a few seconds, it rumbled and nodded. "Baron said I had a month and a half, and we ain't hauling nothing but our rears, so what in Tartarus do you want?"

"Reckon I want to keeps an eye on ye since that's the sorta thing I was hired t'do," Bad Teeth replied with a voice that sent chills up Sugar's spine. He nodded at their bags. "Where you two off to?"

"Ain't none of your darn business," Nectar spat. Bad Teeth traced one of his claws along the hem of his coat before sweeping it back and sticking one talon into his belt from which several nasty and scary-looking tools were hanging.

"I can make it my business," he replied, at which Nectar glared and Sugar whimpered. "Or hers." That addition caused Nectar to wilt with a grunt.

"Alright! Alright, fine," Nectar huffed, shaking a hoof at the creature. "We're heading to Canterlot." Bad Teeth hummed with a nod, closing his coat and folding his arms.

"Canterlot, huh? What for?" He asked before jolting and waving a hand at the pair. "Nah, that's fine. Think I can guess."
As some clouds rolled in, casting the spot in heavy shade, Nectar recoiled and furrowed his brow. "What-"

"Good luck t'you!" Bad Teeth chirped with a laugh.

And then he was gone.

The pair of ponies flinched and looked around for any sign of the creature, but all they saw was the farm and grass and all they heard was a slightly heavy breeze that rushed by. Sharing an anxious look, Nector swallowed before adjusting his bag and leading the way down the road just as the clouds rolled away, lighting the road up and revealing the heavy shadow of something soaring high above and away from the pair.

During school, Sugarplum had read a lot about Canterlot and the School for Gifted Unicorns. While she didn't have the magical talent to attend the magic academy, the descriptions had always captured her imagination. The tall, alabaster towers topped with purple and gold spirals, the paved and polished brick roads, and the lush gardens and parks tended by the best earth pony magic Equestria had to offer, all working together to present some kind of fairy tale wonderland.

She never could have imagined how quickly her first visit would sully her view of the city. And yet, as she took a deep breath and heaved out a sigh, scanning further up the hall of the castle and at the line she and her uncle were stuck in, she certainly found herself wishing she was anywhere but in Canterlot.

"Shoot, I figured if we got here at the crack of dawn we'd be one of the first to see her," Nectar groused, rearing up to peek further ahead and drawing annoyed glares from the other ponies present. "Look at this line."

"Do not attempt to jump further ahead in line," came a sharp command, causing Nectar to jolt. Whirling around, he met the stern eyes of a royal guard who'd popped up beside him and Sugarplum.

"I wasn't! I was just checking!" Nectar retorted. The guard said nothing in response, at which Nectar shook his head before sharing a weary look with Sugarplum. From there, they waited in silence as minutes turned to hours and they slowly inched toward the courtroom door. All the while, the guard remained right beside them, drawing an occasional annoyed leer from Nectar.

Eventually, the mare just ahead of them slipped inside the courtroom. Sugarplum blinked before gasping. "Uncle Nectar!" She turned and jostled her snoring uncle whose head was slumped off to the side. He jolted with a snort before looking at her with tired, red eyes. "We're next!" Blinking, he looked forward.

"Shoot! We're next!" He cheered. The pair shared an eager smile, before facing forward. After just a few minutes, the doors swung open and the mare who'd gone in ahead of them came trotting out with a smile. The pair shared a smile again and moved to enter.

Only for a well-dressed pegasus with a monocole to trot right passed them. As they both recoiled the doors shut on them and Nectar gasped. "Hey! We were next in line!"

"Lord Taproot is a member of the governing class. Civilian grievances are secondary," the guard just beside them declared. Sugarplum wilted with a whimper at his words.

"But!" Nectar squawked.

"I don't make the rules, Sir," the guard replied. Nectar's jaw dropped before setting in a firm snarl.

"Fine. Guess we'll wait," he spat, sitting with his forelegs folded. Sugarplum looked at him wearily before looking at the window across from the throne room door. The sun was now beginning to inch toward the horizon.

Sugarplum sat curled up on her bed in the cheap hotel they'd rented, watching her uncle angrily pace to and fro. He grunted and kicked over his bag. "Fifth darn day in a row! Figure that Taproot fella'd be all grievanced out by now!" Nectar shook his head with a grumble before looking at his bag and whispering to keep his niece from hearing him. "Heck, we ain't gonna have enough to pay for the tickets home at this rate." Sugarplum's ears snapped back, but she pretended not to notice. Fortunately, a knock at the door drew both of their attention away from their situation.

"Great. What now?" Nectar muttered as he went to answer. Pulling the door open, he blinked and fixed the sheep in a suit waiting outside with a confused leer. "Can I help you?" Sugarplum sat up and tilted her head at the sight as the sheep removed his stout top hat and bowed.

"Good evening. My name is Sash, I'm head of the Vanhoover Executive Bureau of Administration under Baron Truffles. I've seen you making your way to the day court every day this past week," he explained, reaching into his coat and presenting his identification to Nectar. The stallion looked at the card and back at Sash who shook his head with a frown. "And I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you've come here for nothing. Taproot has no intention of ever letting your story reach the princess." Sugar gasped quietly as Nectar recoiled. The two shared a look before Nectar peered outside and then urged the sheep inside. Once he was clear of the door, Nectar shut it and faced him.

"The heck do you mean?" He demanded. Sash nodded and loosened his tie.

"I'm here on official business myself, which has made me privy to certain," Sash explained, a scowl steadily forming on his face. "Dealings the common pony is not aware of. Such as that between Taproot and Whole Grain."

"The baron?" Sugarplum murmured, at which Sash nodded again.

"I'm not sure why, but he's requested Taproot interrupt your attempts to meet with Her Majesty for as long as you remain in the city," he replied. Sugar and Nectar both froze at his words and the sheep turned to fix Nectar with a sorrowful look. "Mr. Nectar, the guards are watching for you and reporting your continued presence to him." Sugarplum stopped breathing for a few moments as a tense silence gripped the room. Nectar slowly shook his head and stammered before muttering something.

As the two continued speaking, despite her uncle's voice becoming increasingly frantic and annoyed, she barely heard what either was saying over her own racing heart and the ringing in her ears. Her mind flashed back to the guard who had always popped up beside them and waited the whole day with them. Had he been doing that to flag them out of the rest of the crowd?

"So what the heck do we do?" Nectar finally groused, managing to draw Sugar out of her own head. "Just- Just give up?" The stallion huffed and sat on the floor with a dazed, weary expression.

"I can't say. I cannot approach the princess about this without risking my office," Sash murmured, shaking his head. "But I had to do something. I hoped at least making you aware could be of some help." He frowned and looked between the two.

"I'm very sorry," he finally added. Nectar's head slowly sank as silence again gripped the room.

"Why-" Sugarplum hiccuped, drawing their attention to her as she fidgeted and winced. "Why's this allowed to happen?" She sat up and shook her head. Nectar trotted over and hopped up beside her before pulling her into a hug.

"Why can they do something like this?" She whimpered and sniffled. "I- I don't get it." She sobbed quietly and leaned into her uncle as Sash averted his eyes.

"All this over a dang road tax," Nectar quietly hissed. Sash perked up at that and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Road tax?" He repeated. Nectar nodded with an angry light in his eyes.

"The baron placed a tax on wagon traffic on his roads," he explained, offering a shrug to the sheep. "It's pretty recent, but it's still made selling our produce a pain. Pretty much we're having to pay three times as much what we're selling for, you know?" Sash furrowed his brow and scanned the floor in thought for a few moments. During that time, Sugarplum stopped crying and looked down at the sheep as he hummed to himself.

"All regional laws and tax codes are submitted to Canterlot," Sash finally said before fixing Nectar with a determined look. "If I were to get you into the records, do you think you could help me find this road tax?" Nectar recoiled slightly before sharing a look with Sugar.

"Well, maybe? Why?" He slowly replied. Sash narrowed his eyes with a firm nod.

"Because in law precision matters."

Despite how far from town Nectar's farm was, it was still the baron's duty to keep all roads in his realm tended. As a result, it was either a miracle or an act of spite that Sugarplum had found the only uneven part of the road for probably several miles. With a little effort, Sugarplum managed to pull the barrel-laden cart over the bump in the road, and she gasped in relief when the whole thing rolled free again. "There we go!"

"Nice job, Sugar!" Nectar cheered from a few steps ahead before a guilty look fell over his face again. "You sure I can't-" Sugarplum waved her hoof, stumbling a bit before catching herself and continuing to pull the cart.

"No, I got it! I got it!" She chirped. "You gotta rest your hip, especially after getting stuck waiting in line from dawn to near dusk for the past week." Nectar blushed and averted his eyes before nodding with a grunt. Once they were side-by-side again, he turned and the pair trotted along together. Looking further down the road, they paused and shared a look before lowering their heads and continuing on.

As a result, after just another minute or two they came to a stop right before Baron Whole Grain and his entourage, including Bad Teeth, who were blocking the road.

"Mornin' Baron," Nectar grumbled.

"Nectar," the baron hummed in response. The unicorn fixed him with a critical leer before pulling an official-looking paper from his coat with a sigh. Sugarplum recognized the ribbon hanging off it as being from the bank and her breath hitched. "I am impressed you managed to find somepony willing to cover your debt." She sighed in relief and a smile broke across her face.

"Sash! You actually did it!" She cheered mentally. Her subdued jubilation was cut off when the baron smirked.

"But I hope you're not going to be relying on miracles like that in the future. Especially if you're going to keep letting yourself get penalized hauling your goods to town." Sugarplum felt an eager jolt dance up her spine as she and Nectar shared a look. After just a moment, her uncle stepped forward.

"Penalized? How you figure?" He asked, causing the baron to raise an eyebrow and gesture to their cart.

"The road tax?" He said plainly. Nectar nearly leaped before jabbing a hoof at him.

"Oh! Well, good thing this here ain't a wagon. It's a cart," he quipped.

"It has two wheels instead of four! That's the legal definition!" Sugarplum hastily added, eagerly tapping her forehooves as she spoke. Nectar paced to the side as he continued.

"And according to your law, it's wagons that get taxed," he whipped around at firmly tapped the side of the cart. "Not carts."

"Cause carts are classified as recreational vehicles in Equestria law!" Sugarplum cheered.

"And are thus tax-exempt regardless of the contents they're carrying, so long as they do not violate Equestrian Civil Code 12-D-300," Nectar added.

"Which is a regulation on alchemy stuff!" Sugar squealed.

"And we're just hauling peaches today," Nectar finished with a huff and a firm, hopeful grin. Grain's guards all recoiled at the legal display the pair had presented, while Bad Teeth stood with his head tilted and the baron maintained an unimpressed glare. However, none of them said anything.

After a few seconds, Grain turned to look back down the road and then turned again to look the way the pair had come. Narrowing his eyes he turned to Bad Teeth and gestured at him. The creature paused before grunting and pulled his mask up slightly. Sugar winced at the barest sight of his unruly maw of fangs as he seemed to sniff at the air in a few directions. Afterward, he pulled his mask back down and shook his head, drawing a sigh from the baron before he turned back to Nectar.

"How much?" He asked. Nectar hesitated before furrowing his brow and looking at the cart for a moment.

"Couple barrels-"

"No. For the farm," Grain said curtly. Nectar recoiled and then glared at him.

"Ain't for sale," he replied, causing the baron to growl and shake his head. At the same time, Bad Teeth drew his coat back, which caused Sugar to shiver.

"You're the only one-" the baron began.

"Who still owns his land, yep," Nectar interjected. A brief pause followed as the baron stood with his eyes shut.

"I'm trying to be nice, Nectar," he said with audible restraint. Nectar snorted and shook his head before stomping forward a few steps and jabbing a hoof at the baron. The guards didn't respond, but Bad Teeth tilted his head as one claw slipped inside his coat.

"Uncle Nectar?" Sugarplum squeaked.

"You call nearly driving me and my niece into poverty nice?" Nectar spat, jabbing his hoof again. "You call holding my nephew hostage nice?" The baron's eyes shot open and he adopted a warm smile.

"Yes," he said, leaning forward with his eyebrows raised. "And for your consideration?" His expression fell.

"Shoot him."

SNAP

CRACK

Sugarplum shivered as Bad Teeth's claw suddenly whipped up and then back down faster than she could really see, and despite it not making much sense, it felt like the noise that suddenly split the air had been slower than whatever it was he'd done.

Now, the creature stood with a sling hanging from his claw and his mask's eyes locked onto her own. The baron moving forward and making an effort to step over something in the road was what snapped her out of her stupor.

"I don't know where you two got your shiny new legal education from, but here's some extra credit for you," he said once he stood right in front of her. As he spoke, his guards stalked forward and surrounded her cart.

"Little mudrakers like you don't make the rules. We do," Grain said with no small amount of venom in his voice and gaze. "When we demand you sell something to us, you sell and thank us for giving you the chance to at least earn something from the exchange." He took another step closer causing her to recoil until she bumped against the cart which was now held in place by the guards as they unloaded it.

"There was a time when we just took from your kind, you know," the baron added before pulling back with a solemn nod. "But these are civilized days, and I prefer amicability." He tilted his head at her as she shivered before humming.

"Ah yes, and no one will ever believe you," he declared. At the same time, Bad Teeth began chortling as he adjusted his coat.

"Reckon bandits and monsters roam these parts all the time, you know?" The monster offered.

"Precisely," Grain replied with a smile that vanished as he turned to scan the countryside. "I have designs for my realm which your uncle has impeded for long enough." The guards stepped on either side of Sugar and heaved the harness off of her before hurling the cart over. Slowly she sank to a sitting position and her eyes drifted down. Just past the baron's hooves, she saw her uncle's unmoving body and she hiccupped.

"I hope for your brother's sake you won't be so obtuse. I'll be along tomorrow to discuss a fair and reasonable price," the baron added before turning and leaving, followed by the guards as they carried her cargo away. She sat staring at Nectar for a while. Time seemed to sit still with her until finally she was suddenly and violently wrenched forward by her horn. With a scream, her eyes were forced upward to look at Bad Teeth's smiling mask as the monster loomed over her.

"And hey! If this has all got yer brain clouded and you ain't sure what to do?" He began before pulling out a sling stone and gently pressing it between her eyes. "I'm happy to help you clear your head. Anytime." She shivered under his gaze before he finally released her with a hearty chortle and lumbered after the baron. Once she hit the ground she covered her eyes and face with her hooves and howled.

Chapter 17

Sugarplum quietly grunted and rubbed her eye in an attempt to drive off the exhaustion of another sleepless night. Across the kitchen table, missing the suit she'd remembered him wearing when they first met a year prior, an equally weary-looking Sash sat reading the year-old bill of sale she'd handed him moments prior.

"Five hundred bits," the sheep all but gasped, shaking his head and looking at Sugarplum in disbelief. "That's- You can't be serious?" Sugar shrugged weakly as she retrieved the bill with her magic.

"I didn't know what else to do. He said if I didn't sell the farm to him, he'd," she winced and her ears shot back. "Hurt Turnip." A heavy silence fell over the kitchen until Sugar sighed and looked through the window behind Sash.

"My first month's rent pretty much ate all the money he paid me anyway," she murmured as Sash glanced back through the window as well. Where once had been a flourishing, if modest, orchard was now a wide stretch of bare earth and mud. "He told me I had to rip down all the trees and start making bricks and junk. So that's what I've been doing ever since." She rested her head on the table as Sash furrowed his brow.

"Does anywooly else know about this?" He asked, turning back and fixing her with a frown that only worsened when she shook her head.

"I haven't been to town in months. He has carts roll around to sell food and stuff," she explained. "I think he does that so I don't have any reason to leave home." Sash hummed and tapped his chin.

"That explains how empty Berryplenty was when I passed through on my way here," he grumbled. "He must have a similar operation working across the whole barony." As Sash sat in thought another period of quiet fell across the room, broken only by the quiet ticking of the kitchen clock and the occasional squawk of a crow passing by the window.

"He said if I won't work I'll just be evicted, so I can leave whenever I want," Sugar finally said before shifting in her seat and covering her face with her hooves. "But I won't have a home anymore if I do." Sash raised an eyebrow slightly and hummed.

"Well, and I'm sorry to say this, maybe that wouldn't be so bad," he quietly replied. When Sugarplum peeked up at him, he hopped down and trotted up beside her. "Sugarplum, I've recently made contact with a group of ponies and other creatures who've gone through similar, if not as heartbreaking, circumstances. That's why I came to find you and Nec-" He hesitated and looked away as Sugarplum winced and buried her face again. Clearing his throat, he tapped his hoof twice.

"Anyway, their leader has plans to help them all, and after speaking with him, I gave up my office to lend them my aid," he continued, managing to draw her attention after a moment. Once they locked eyes, he fixed her with a determined frown. "If you come with me, we can't reverse what has happened but-" He scowled off to the side and took a shallow breath.

"But we might be able to make it right."

Sitting at Pseudo's old desk, I flipped through my monster manual searching for an entry that had caught my eye initially which would be huge for the scheme I had in mind. According to Sash, the Whole Grain Barony, besides sounding like a knock-off breakfast food company, had spent the last five years steadily becoming monopolized. The baron had bought up all the land belonging to his subjects before renting it back to them. While scummy, this wasn't too strange as far as medieval or even modern society went, but he took it a step further.

Sash had learned that, since he owned the land, the baron had been cutting into the crop yields of the farms renting his land in addition to demanding rent. Some families, like Sugarplum, had even been compelled to tear their fields down and begin quarrying or face eviction, with certain laws or peculiar policies being handed down to enforce the change. Additionally, some ponies who complained or refused wound up arrested either for 'squatting,' or for some other drummed-up charge, and were then carted away.

Then there was the 'Yield Office.'

Per the baron's request, this office patrolled the barony, taking skewed inaccurate censuses which were then handed off to higher court officials, ensuring that as far as Canterlot was concerned, the needs of the lower class were being met. This was all plenty frustrating enough on top of what Sugarplum told me happened, but the motivation behind it, as was apparent to Sash and therefore, me, was vastly stupider.

The baron had been building a citadel. A multi-tiered, alabaster, Minas Tirith-ass citadel. The food and crops he'd been scraping off his subjects were all being used to not only stock this citadel but also to feed the teams of workers he kept, which were collected from the dissenting ponies he'd been having arrested.

Sash was privy to all this due to his connections to Truffles, but there wasn't anything in Equestrian law outlawing what the baron was doing. The compelled labor of criminals was perfectly legal, after all, and the baron was insistent that his citadel would majorly boost his realm's value. So, even if Celestia had decided to peek out from her ivory tower and send some dumb office pony to check in on him, I wasn't convinced the baron would face any repercussions. Legally, he was peachy.

"Parasprites," I murmured as I found the entry I'd been looking for. "Found in the bleh-bleh-bleh, reproducing by eating, so even one can become meh-meh-meh." I nodded as I digested the passage.

Because Evil Wizards don't give two shits about legalities.

"Yeah. You'll do."

The nitty-gritty details would still require some finesse on my part, but a plan was already forming in my mind. I suppose I could have just turned invisible, snuck inside his citadel, and blasted him in his sleep.

But to be honest, that seemed too easy. Death was too easy.

I wanted this silly little pony to live to regret everything he'd done.

"I found it," I declared, leaning back in my seat and fixing Sash, who sat just across the desk from me, with a firm stare. "Continue."

Outside the fortress walls and across the bridge, Honeysuckle sat staring into the lake water, gently tracing her hoof across the water's surface. Beside her, she held her suit of scale mail in her magic and idly peeled the scales up before letting them fall back into place, producing a gently clinking noise that harmonized with the gentle ripple of the lake.
Her two companions behind her had remained in their armor, however, and shared a look before Snowpea took a step forward. "Lieutenant?"

"I'm AWOL, so I don't think I can use that title anymore," Honeysuckle replied, causing Snowpea to flinch.

"Uhm," she paused and looked back at Violence who wore an uncertain expression before turning back to Honeysuckle. "H-honeysuckle?"

"Hm?" Honeysuckle turned her head slightly, though her attention was still on the water.

"What do we do now?" Snowpea pressed, causing Honeysuckle to pause. Her attention drifted from the lake to her companions and then to the airship hovering above the fort. Along the wall, a few of the bolder cultists stood staring back at her with determined glares. Finally, her eyes fell upon her armor, specifically the golden tunic she wore over it and the crest of the sun emblazoned on its chest.

"If you two return immediately, you should be able to convince them that you were abducted while attempting to retrieve me," Honeysuckle finally replied, letting the armor drop from her grip before returning to idly stirring the water. "You could blame that on me as well, now that I think about it." Snowpea recoiled before darting beside Honeysuckle.

"Return? We can't leave you on your own!" She cried.

"Why not? You didn't ask for any of this," Honeysuckle replied with a shrug. Snowpea scrunched her muzzle and looked out toward the lake.

"Well," she murmured before shaking her head. "Neither did you." Honeysuckle met her eyes for a moment before scowling and looking away with a huff. Snowpea flinched at her reaction before hearing someone step just behind her. Turning, she sighed at the new arrival.

"Hey, Goober," she muttered.

"Hey, heard you were all still here. Glad to see it," Victor replied, standing with his arms folded and an expectant leer. He looked looked past Snowpea at Honeysuckle. "Less thrilled about the fact you're naked." Honeysuckle recoiled before looking at him in confusion.

"Quoi?" She huffed. The two stared at each other for a moment before she snorted and shook her head. "Whatever. What do you want?"

"Need your help with something," he replied, drawing a grunt from the unicorn.

"Hah. Why on earth would I-" Victor waved his hand and turned away.

"Fair point, never mind," he declared as he strode for the bridge. "I was just under the impression you cared about Sugarplum, seeing as she's Turnip's sister and all." Snowpea's ears shot back and her attention darted between Victor and Honeysuckle, the latter of whom sat up straight.

"What?" Honeysuckle demanded.

"The thing I need. It's for Sugarplum," Victor replied, waving his hand back at her without looking. "But since you don't care, it's fine. I'll figure something else out." Honeysuckle's jaw dropped.

"You- I-" Her attention flitted from Snowpea to Violence and then to cultists on the wall. And then finally, to Victor, who was still striding away. And whistling. The sight and sound just struck her funny and she snarled her teeth before jumping to her hooves and galloping after him. "Fils de pute. Wait a minute, you!"

The noon sun lit up the entire clearing around the Whole Grain estate, allowing the baron to scan his property from the highest point of the Whole Grain Citadel. The structure was wrought from common brick painted white and covered a space comparable to Canterlot itself. Even though only three of the expected six levels of the citadel were complete, and though all but the lowest level was so far just a large ring with nothing inside, it still towered over the clearing and made the baron's mansion three miles away seem even smaller by comparison.

The beaming rays of the sun were practically dim in comparison to the look of pride beaming from the stallion's face. But this was of no comfort to the ponies hauling carts laden with building material along the ramps and scaffolds that filled the interior of each ring, especially those leading the construction effort, who were gathered on the topmost ring away from the baron and having a hushed argument over the blueprints he'd commissioned.

"Look out!" A cry echoed up from the lowest level, followed by the sound of a scaffold giving way and a cart full of bricks tumbling below, crashing into the roof of one of the flimsy shacks the workers were kept in at night. The fore-ponies leading the operation paused their dispute to glance down into the depths before one of them shot the others a smug glare.

"Told you," he spat. "The bricks are too big."

"And I told you," the mare beside him spat back, jabbing him in the chest. "Take it up with him." She stuck her nose up and trotted away with a humph as the others shared a look before glaring at the baron, but they all wilted when the pegasus mare in the red dress just behind him shot a glare back at them. Once they dispersed she turned forward and fixed her husband with an annoyed leer.

"Regardless of what happens to the rest of Equestria, my family will persevere," the baron quietly purred, an unabashed, prideful sneer firmly adhered to his face. He swept his hoof toward the countryside. "And so long as the world keeps spinning, those peasants outside this citadel will benefit from it." He took a giddy, shuddering breath and briefly pranced in place before drawing the plans for his citadel from his coat and looking over them with wonder and stars in his eyes.

"Once it's complete, anyway," he hummed, tracing his hoof over the design. "A magically powered and automated farm! A cloud-gathering machine to turn clouds into drinking water! Not to mention the defensive applications!" He giggled and scooted toward the edge of the wall, leering down at the vast number of bricks. At the lowest point, a few teams of pegasi were applying a slightly off-white paint to some of the bricks.

"Every stone will soon have the best magical defenses applied to it. The rest of Equestria could collapse to war or another reality-warping freak, but this citadel will still stand!"

"Once it's complete," his wife replied, with an unimpressed tone.

"Once it's complete!" He parroted.

"And once you've paid it off," she added.

"And once I- Bah! Don't bother me with that," the baron shot back, waving a hoof at her as he rolled up the plans. He turned toward her with a smug grin. "Goldflame and his pals are about to fulfill their crude little scheme. Once they do, I won't have to worry about the artisans I've commissioned for all this." Returning his attention to the wall, his eyes drifted to his mansion in the distance—soon to be abandoned once his new home in the citadel was complete.

"And even if their plan falls through, I still have the family trust," he quietly mused.

"What was that?" His wife demanded, stepping up beside him.

"Nothing!" The baron chirped, looking off to the side with a smile. As he did, he blinked and watched as a small, pink, winged ball with big, bug eyes landed beside him. He recoiled and jabbed at it with his hoof. "What's this ugly thing?" The thing retreated from his touch and took to the air again, just in time for the baron's wife to notice it and gasp.

"That's-!" Before she could continue, a pegasus guard erupted up from the lowest interior level.

"Baron! The food storehouse is infested!" She cried, drawing a squawk from the baron as his wife hissed and swatted at the colorful bug.

"What?! How?! I paid to have them fumigated!" The baron cried.

"The bugs're getting through holes popping up all through the lowest level!" The guard cried back. "And as their eating they keep splitting and making more of themselves!"

"What?" The baron paused and his ears swiveled. "What's that rumbling?"

THREE WEEKS EARLIER

"Good luck and don't die!" Honeysuckle chirped from the ship as Sash and I made our way to the hill. "Celestia forbid you make me happy."

"Derivative," I called back. According to the book, this part of the 'Macintosh Hills' was riddled with low-lives and diamond dogs. As we approached the hill I'd spied out from the airship, I could already see I'd chosen wisely: Plenty of dogmen just like Nettle were milling about, washing cartfuls of shiny rocks and dirt in the stream that split through the clearing before their hill. As we drew near, a few of them paused and glanced up at me before gesturing to the others. An anxious smile fell over my face as I slipped on my Shield. Sash swallowed hard and looked up at me.

"I-I trust you, Victor, but," he cleared his throat and looked ahead. "Why exactly are we attempting to make contact with these diamond dogs?"

"Besides dealing with his citadel in one go, the baron probably keeps his money somewhere on his property, doesn't he?" I asked back, maintaining my confident strut as a few dogs vanished into a hole in the side of the hill.

"Well, yes. Most nobles do keep coins and other treasures within their homes," Sash replied, before nervously bleating as a team of armed and armored dogs came stomping out toward us. "Though that's all usually for show. Most families keep the vaster sum of their wealth in the bank." I hummed at his explanation.

"Great. Display or not, we can have these guys help us steal it all," I said, coming to a stop as the spear-wielding guards barrelled toward us. "Diamond Dogs can smell out gems and riches and shit, according to my book."

"Oh! I see," Sash hummed before raising a hoof as if to ask something else. Before he could, I gently pushed him behind me with my leg and took a breath just as the points of the guards' spears arrived mere inches from my chest.

"Stop! Who you?" One demanded.

"What you want?" Another snarled.

"No solicitors!" A third added.

"Not interested in Sun Pony Church either!" A fourth put forth.

"That still soliciting!" The third growled, nudging his compatriot. "Me say that already!"

"I know! Just being thorough!" The fourth spat back before nodding firmly. "Moon Pony Church fine though."

"Agreed!" They all shouted before fixing me with a set of firm glares.

"So?" The first demanded. I stood with my hands up, my eyes darting from one to another for a few seconds before clearing my throat.

"Afternoon, gentlemen. I have a proposition for the leader of your colony," I explained, causing the third and fourth dogs to growl and clutch their spears tighter. "And if he doesn't like it, my sheep friend and I will come work in your mines for you." Sash swallowed hard and hugged the ground as the quartet paused and shared a look.

"Slaves good," the third hummed.

"Go against Moon Church teachings though, I think," the fourth mused.

"Who cares! Take them to Leader!" The first roared before they surrounded us and began urging us forward. I shared a look with Sash, who looked like he was about to have a panic attack, before focusing forward. We were guided into the dimly lit tunnels and through the host of lounging and digging dogs who watched us with curiosity.

Eventually, the tunnel opened up to a low cavern with a huge pile of gems and raw gold in the center. Just before the pile was a big flat stone, surrounded by guard dogs in crystal armor with shimmering crystal swords. On the stone itself a stout, bulldog in crystal armor with golden hoops hooked into it, sat with an unimpressed glare on his face. We were stood before the impromptu throne as the leader of our group waddled forward and whispered in the bulldog's ear, who grunted in response.

"Solicitors, eh?" He snorted, folding his bulky arms and raising an eyebrow. I shared a nervous look with Sash before taking a shallow breath and holding a hand out to the dog.

"You're in charge?" I queried. He growled and pounded his fist against his leg.

"Yes. I am the biggest. I am the strongest! I-"

"What about him?" I asked, pointing over his shoulder. The dog flinched and turned and all the others followed suit. During their moment of distraction, I waved my hand at him. As I did, my spell rolled out like when I'd attempted to cast it on Sneaky weeks ago. The chains of 'Charm Person' snapped out and stuck to his body, holding firm and then vanishing.

"Who?" He murmured as he turned to face me, though with a noticeably less hostile expression. I smiled and waved my hand.

"Sorry, must be seeing things," I said, clapping my hands and leaning forward. "Anyway, I have a proposal I'd like you to hear."

"Interesting! Do share, friend," he chirped, beckoning me closer.

"Evacuate! The foundation's giving way!" A pegasus guard repeatedly screamed as he zipped up and down, ensuring that each level could hear the command over the thunderous racket of the citadel as the ground it was built upon began to shift.

"Where are my engineers?!" Whole Grain cried, kicking and flailing his legs as his wife descended the outside of the citadel with him in her hooves. His head whipped about to his wife's annoyance as he scanned the shaking superstructure. "Don't let my work go to waste! Find a way to keep it stable!" As he screamed a guard flew down beside him and saluted.

"My Lord! The engineering team and guards have already evacuated, but there are dozens of prisoners unaccounted for!" He reported, at which the baron kicked his legs at him.

"Who cares about the missing ones?! Take the ones who are accounted for and keep the citadel from sinking!" He bellowed. His wife grunted and adjusted her grip before glowering at the citadel.

"I don't think it's merely sinking, dear," she said, drawing his attention to her. "It appears to only be falling on one side." The baron recoiled as best he could.

"What?!" He cried before looking at the citadel. Sure enough, and strangely almost as soon as his attention was fixed upon it, the entire structure began to lean more and more to one side as the very earth beneath it caved in. Slowly, the upper portion cracked and began to slide away from the lower portion until the entire construction crumbled. Down at ground level, dozens and dozens of ponies who'd only just escaped were sent stampeding for their lives as countless tons of brickwork fell to the earth. The baron's jaw and whole body hung limp in his wife's grip. "My- My dream."

"Is that an airship?" The guard murmured, snapping him out of his stupor and drawing his attention to his house, above which an airship sat hovering.

"Whuh?" He squeaked.

ONE WEEK PRIOR

I uttered a prolonged, wheezing grunt as Honeysuckle whirled me around herself at high speed in an exercise she claimed was to 'get a feel for my size and weight.' Whatever it was, the motion wasn't causing me any distress.

It was the occasional glimpses of what came next. She brought me to a sudden stop and approached the edge of the airship, drawing worried murmurs from the cultists crewing the vessel.

"Honestly, if you had led with the fact your plan involved this sort of thing, I would have been much more involved from the beginning," she cooed, looking over the side at the courtyard far, far below.

"Just-" I grunted as she hovered me into position. "Just try to spin me as much on the way down."

"Silence! A blade does not command its master," she spat, drawing an annoyed hiss from me.

"You-" Before I could argue further, she leaped drawing a gasp from me. As we began to descend, she snapped me to the side and positioned herself over me, making sure she could see my face as we fell with her atop me like a surfboard. I glared death at her to counter her smug grin as she leaned into me, confident that if my shield didn't save us both, her 'superior fitness and quadrupedal bones' would allow her to walk the fall off. A claim that left me thoroughly tempted to not actually cast my shield before we tried this.

Within seconds, I saw the peak of the cliffs surrounding the fort race past and I braced and clenched my eyes shut. All signs pointed to this working, and I'd tested free-falling from shorter heights already. But this was still pretty extreme so-

"So? Still alive?" Honey chirped, causing me to open my eyes. She was now simply lying on top of me with an expectant leer. "'Cause that's about the altitude we'd be working with." Looking around, I saw we'd hit the ground and left a decent-sized dent in the earth.

Sighing in relief, I raised a thumbs-up to her.

I braced again as we impacted against the roof of the baron's mansion. Besides the fact the surface we landed on caved in, the only difference from our practice rounds over the last week was Honeysuckle was wearing a ninja-looking disguise over her armor. Oh, and the fact that when we fell through the roof, we were met with screams from Whole Grain's guards.

"What in the world?!" One wailed.

"Who are you?!" The other squealed. In response, Honeysuckle hopped and swept me out and held me aloft.

"Cower fools!" I roared, thrusting my hands up. "For I-" And then Honeysuckle dashed forward, whipping me around like a bat and sweeping the pair aside. I blinked and looked over at the unconscious duo who'd slammed into a bookshelf before going limp.

"I was doing a thing," I grumbled before sizing up the rest of the room. It seemed we'd landed in a library with very little in the way of finery to loot. "Nothing here, unless you see something I don't." In response, Honeysuckle hummed before galloping toward one of the two doors leading out.

"Non, but if Whole Grain is anything like the nobles in Canterlot, he'd keep his vault this way," she explained as we burst out into a hallway. She rushed along for a moment before coming to a stop and shaking me to get my attention. "And along the way." I raised an eyebrow and turned to see a fucking stack of gold bars in a display case between two windows.

"Tight," I replied before casting Strength on myself, smashing the glass and hurling the bars outside. The bars sailed for a good distance before finally touching down. I jabbed an arm forward. "Onward!" Honeysuckle purred a laugh before charging.

"Besides the opportunity to abuse me, I'm surprised how into this you are," I quipped with my arms folded before we came to another display case, this time with a big ass diamond.

"There are many things about me you don't know, Goobèr," she explained as I expelled the treasure. "Among them, my own feelings about what high society does to the common pony." As she spoke, I watched the unattended treasure outside suddenly slip into a hole in the ground and could see a similar hole where the gold had landed, a stray parasprite or two fluttering out of either hole, probably some of the only survivors after the rest got caught in the citadel's collapse.

"Fair enough," I replied just before she bolted down the hall. We repeated the process twice more before a door ahead of us swung open.

"I told you heard something! INTRUDERS!" One of the guards cried before a cluster more attempted to stampede through the door, getting stuck on each other in the process. Honeysuckle dashed forward and swung me around before lining me up like a pool cue and snapping me headfirst into the lot of them. The leader let out a gurgling grunt as they all tumbled back.

Whirling me back and hurrying along she glanced up at me. "How much longer will your shield last?" I hummed and looked around ahead of us before reaching out and snagging a clock off the wall as we raced. Studying it for a second before throwing it away, I nodded.

"Ten minutes, I think," I replied with my arms folded. "But I've got another one prepared just in case."

"Plenty of time," she chirped, looking ahead. "Especially since we're here." Turning my attention forward, I saw we'd arrived at a large, intricately carved double door. Before I could do anything, Honeysuckle reared up and then hurled me forward with all her might to the point she nearly flipped over. I smashed the door to pieces and tumbled along the floor before slamming into another display that fell atop me.

"Whoopsie!" Honey chirped after me. I glared at her before heaving the display off and rising to my feet. Looking around I huffed at the sheer opulence on display. The entire room was not only huge but was something akin to a museum loaded with gold, gems, and valuable-looking art pieces. Looking back the way we'd come and seeing a window, I smirked before grabbing the sturdy vase that had been on the display I'd smashed into.

"Here's hoping most of this can survive the fall," I declared.

"Don't forget that," Honeysuckle said, trotting up beside me and pointing a hoof to a large metal safe at the side of the room.

"You know the combination?" I asked as I took the size of the thing in. It was nearly as tall as I was and equal in width to its height. Whatever was inside had to be hella valuable if he kept it locked up.

"No, but I know an imbécile who can magic himself strong enough to throw gold bars like cardboard," she retorted. I pursed my lips and sized up the safe with a slow nod.

"Good point."

"Not as good as the one I gave your father last evening," she declared with a confident laugh. I felt my face scrunch up and fixed her with a look that caused her confidence to wilt away in an instant. "No good?"

"No."

ONE WEEK LATER

"-And by the time we'd escaped the dust clouds and debris, the ship was already shrinking into the distance!" Whole Grain cried, drawing nods of mild sympathy from three of the four ponies around him. The fourth, Goldflame, who owned the garden they were all seated in, remained ambivalent, even as his peer threw his head back with a wail. "My realm: infested. My entire vault: plundered. My life's work: ruined!" Grain sunk from his seat to the patio stones and lay on his back with a leg draped over his eyes.

"My stockpile: devoured! My labor force: depleted!" He groaned and quietly sobbed for a moment. The other four shared a look for a moment before he shot to his hooves with a sigh. "So, yes, I just had to get away from home for a while while my staff gets this all cleaned up." He brushed his chest with a hoof and shook his head. The others relaxed in their seats once he was upright.

"Must've been those awful 'Mountain Saints,'" Juniper grumbled, bristling her wings at the name and turning to Goldflame. "I thought we had the guard wipe those thugs out ages ago?"

"We did, though Yendrek was spotted amongst the party that raided Canterlot," Goldflame replied, reclining in his seat and stroking his mustache with his magic. "There was only one other moose spotted, so it certainly seems like their clan hasn't recovered."

"Thank the Maker," Lofty Heights huffed, shaking her head. "And also why I don't think they had anything to do with it. How in Equestria could they sink something that huge with so few numbers?" Grain nodded vehemently at her.

"Exactly. And my manor guard got a look at the creature who raided my home, and it was certainly no moose," he clenched his teeth with a growl. "Bipedal, mostly hairless, and exhibiting supernatural durability and strength." His expression softened to an expectant sneer as he turned to Goldflame, whose eyes darkened at his words.

"Sound familiar?"

"Blackbeard, hm?" Goldflame hummed before scowling. "And no doubt that contemptible nephew of mine helped him plan this." Basket Weaver furrowed his brow and tilted his head.

"But I thought it was the other biped who stole the airship?" He mused drawing an annoyed snort from Goldflame.

"Imbécile, you think there is only one in this world?" The unicorn spat, causing the earth pony to wilt. "Blackbeard has clearly not been idle and stole it before accomplishing this raid. Unless you wish to imply that this cowardly other biped would do something so bold."

"Yeah, and I recall hearing Honeysuckle managed to cut the other guy's hand right off," Lofty added, shaking her head. "So it clearly can't be him." The group considered Blackbeard's actions for a moment before the doors opened and Grain's wife stepped into the garden, drawing a beaming smile from the baron.

"Ah-hah! There she is. Come, my beloved! Sing sweet music to me," he purred as he dashed to her and lovingly nuzzled her, at which she offered only an annoyed leer. "Were you able to speak with the head of the equestrian bank? Did he understand my letters were stolen?" She brushed him back with a wing and nodded as she stepped to the seating area.

"Yes, I actually had a very productive conversation with him. Things have just been a bit hectic at the bank since, apparently, nearly a hundred small trust accounts were opened and then closed over the last week," she explained as the baron followed her. He and the others recoiled at her report.

"A hundred?" Goldflame murmured, furrowing his brow. The baron's wife hummed and turned to her bewildered husband.

"Speaking of, the family trust has been depleted. Completely. In fact, we're overdrawn by over sixty thousand bits," she said plainly, causing every ear to twitch and everyone's coats to bristle. All eyes were wide and locked on her. "What's more, the withdrawals were made with your signature on every letter." Every jaw dropped and silence held the garden. After a few seconds, the baron's wife hummed and continued.

"Strangely, said signature was missing when they presented the documents to me, so we were all very bewildered," she added, gently tapping the patio with a hoof before shrugging. "In any case, things are still hectic at the bank right now." Once more silence fell upon the garden and held its grip until the baron fell over, stiff as a board, and banged his head on the patio.

ONE WEEK PRIOR

LESS THAN TWO HOURS FOLLOWING THE RAID

We'd landed the airship just north of the Hayseed Swamps, as planned. To my immense relief, Bogdon and his small army of diamond dogs were actually waiting for us, alongside the pony prisoners they'd helped escape from the collapsing citadel via their burrows and tunnels they'd spent a few days preparing at my request.

As I prepared to disembark, I couldn't help but notice the cultists who were crewing the vessel all looking at me with a renewed air of admiration. But among them all, Sugarplum stood out, due to the fact I couldn't really read her expression.

But her eyes were firmly locked on me as I stepped off the ship and approached Bogdon, who stood a few dozen feet off with a wide smile as his boys divided up the treasure I'd removed from the baron's house. As I drew near, he chuckled and stepped up to greet me, firmly taking my hand in a shake before patting my back.

"Thanks for your help," I said, gesturing to the treasure. "I trust all that will suffice as payment?" I narrowed my eyes and glanced at the small crowd of ponies off to the side.

"And there was no funny business about letting all the ponies free?" I added, fixing him with an incredulous leer. He laughed and slapped his thigh.

"Correct on all accounts, my good wizard!" He shot me a toothy smile and shook his head. "For the life of me, I can't remember why I ever agreed to work with a runt like you, but I'm glad for it!" His smile darkened and he jabbed me in the chest with a claw.

"If you ever need help with a scheme like this, you know where to find me," he said with a grim laugh.

"I'll keep that in mind," I quietly hummed in my wizard voice as we parted and he waddled off to his warband. I stood eyeing up the freed prisoners who were looking at me anxiously, when Sash came trotting up.

"Shame we didn't get to keep any of that treasure. It would have been useful for getting ourselves properly established," he said with a sigh. I reached down at patted his back.

"True, but hey!" I leaned closer and whispered in his ear. "Didn't tell Bogdon about the safe, did we?" I gestured back to the ship, where the safe stood hidden under a tarp. Sash considered it for a moment before smiling.

"Very true. Shall we see what's inside?" He offered. Standing up, I moved to lead us back to the ship when a few of the ponies stepped forward.

"Hey!" One cried, drawing my attention. Once our eyes met, he looked me up and down before glancing off at the diamond dogs who were now departing. "You're- You're the guy responsible for this, aren't you?" A smile broke across my features and I held my hands out in a sagacious pose.

"Correct," I replied with a warm chortle. The ponies all considered me for a moment before the one speaking scowled.

"Who the heck do you think you are?" He spat, causing me to blink and my smile to fade. "Do you know what the baron'll do to my family for this?" To the crowd's credit, only a few began echoing his sentiment.

That didn't help my mood, though, especially as a mare stomped forward and actually jabbed a hoof at me.

"Yeah! If don't work, our families will-"

"I didn't ask," I spat back, causing her to flinch. Folding my arms, I looked over the whole crowd with an annoyed expression. "Look, I heard what the baron did to just one little pony and it pissed me off. So, I set all this up just to fuck him over." A weary, toothy, sarcastic smile came over my face.

"You wanna get incensed on his behalf, be my guest," I said, waving a hand dismissively at them, before sweeping my hand at the ship. "But I tell you what, whatever's in that safe I stole has to be pretty damned valuable." The crowd looked toward the ship and then back to me as I took a few steps forward, tapping my chin as I continued.

"Maybe valuable enough for you to get your families the hell out of his territory if they mean that much to you," I shrugged with a wider smile before leaning forward at the hips to loom over the pair that had initially spoken up. "But if you try and make me the bad guy in this? If you try and spoil the good time high I'm riding after fucking that prick over?" An exasperated giggle slipped from between my teeth causing the pair to shrink under my gaze.

"I might slip back into the highly volatile headspace I was in leading up to this and give you something to bitch about," I stared down at them for a few hard seconds, during which time the pair hugged the ground tighter and tighter, and the stallion's eyes began to tear up. Finally, I snapped back up to my full height with a shrug before immediately turning for the ship. "Food for thought."

I was halfway to the ship before I heard a set of hooves trot up behind me, and glancing back I saw Sash looking off to the side with an uncomfortable expression.

"Like I said; whatever's inside the safe might be able to help them too," I offered, turning my attention forward. Sash hummed and seemed to perk up a little.

"Yes, of course," he replied after a few moments, long enough for us to make it to the deck. I approached the safe and yanked the tarp off before sweeping my arms back.

"Bear witness, all of you!" I roared in my wizard voice before seizing the handle. "My arcane might!" the cultists gathered in a circle a safe distance around me as I heaved. And heaved. And then braced my foot against the rim of the safe and heaved some more. Then braced my other foot so I was standing sideways on the safe and heaved some more.

"He's gonna pull his paw off at the seam where you cut it," I heard Snowpea whisper.

"One can hope," Honeysuckle replied. I clenched my teeth and heaved again, finally drawing a metallic pop from the safe before I fell flat on the ground. I held the plucked-free handle and mechanism up in Honeysuckle's direction.

"Hah," I weakly chortled. The gentle creaking of the safe opening revitalized me and I rolled to my feet before pulling it all the way open. I gazed wide-eyed and eager at the contents behind the safe door and gasped at what I found.

A big fat stack of paper.

Not dollar bills. Nah, just some cruddy documents. A lot of them, sure, but still just some documents. A whole safe for some papers. Pulling the stack out, I glowered at them with a heavy grumble and slowly shook my head. I couldn't really make sense of what all was written on them.

"Well, this is worthle-" But then Sash gasped and leaped up to snatch the entire stack from my grip. Laying it on the ground he scanned one, then flipped it aside and scanned the next and then the next.

"Letters of credit! My word!" He cried, quickly and dexterously flipping through the entire stack like a deck of cards before beaming up at me. "It's his entire credit stack!"

"Letters of credit being?"

"As good as gold, if they're legitimate and filled out properly," he chirped, slipping one letter my way and tapping the seal on its lower half. "This seal proves these are official Equestrian Banker's notes! You fill out here and here with the amount you wish to withdraw, and so long as the signature of whoever owns the account you're withdrawing from is present, that amount of bits is taken from their account and given to you!"

"Some families have whole stacks ready-made for quick distribution," Honeysuckle added, considering the stack with uncharacteristic astonishment. "Typically during big projects like the one Whole Grain was performing." I hummed and rubbed my chin at the pair's words before Sash groaned.

"Ah, drat. The fool didn't sign these. We could have easily performed some grand bank fraud with these if he did!" He shook his head with a sigh. "I could whip up some numbers on these easily enough, but the bank tellers are experts at identifying forged signatures." I raised an eyebrow and continued rubbing my chin.

"All we need is the guy's signature, huh?" I thought and drew my spell book. My spells were mostly spent, but tomorrow I could try all kinds of things. Heck, even if I couldn't do anything with these things, I could always just go Charm Bogdon again and take his money.

For now, though, I preferred not to rob potential allies, especially when diamond dogs were as close to orcs as a guy could get in silly ponyland. Searching my book, I found a spell I thought might have some application here.

PHANTASMAL FORCES
Vivid illusions of nearly anything the caster envisions for as long as the caster concentrates unless touched by some living creature.

I narrowed my eyes and pondered if what I had in mind would work as I beat the book into my hand, drawing everyone's attention to me. If it did, it would be a pain in the ass to pull off the way I envisioned. But the spell said anything the user envisions.

Worth a shot.

"Sugarplum!" I called. In an instant, she'd darted forward to stand before me, followed shortly after by her brother with both their saddle bags on his back. Sugarplum stood looking up at me with that same, even expression she'd worn the whole day. "You said the baron bought your land, right?" She hesitated and slowly nodded.

"Uhn, yes," she replied.

"You wouldn't happen to have a copy of the agreement would you?" I pressed. She hesitated again before looking over herself and then trotting in place as if looking for something. Turnip tilted his head before slipping off and handing her bags to her at which she beamed and began digging in them.

"Yeah, actually," she replied, finally fishing out and handing the paper to me with a slight frown. "I- It's petty, but, I didn't want to ever forget what he did."

"Well, well," I purred as I sized up the baron's signature at the bottom. "Thank God for pettiness."

AND THEN

I was getting pretty good at mediation, apparently. The handful of cultists and rescued ponies who'd come with me to the wooded outskirts of Baltimare (I think was what Sash called the city) on this little test drive were having a collection of hushed conversations nearby, but I was able to drown them out and hold my focus.

I sat with my eyes closed and gnawed my thumb as we waited, both due to nerves that I was violently struggling against, and due to the pounding migraine I'd brought on by holding the image I had in my mind this whole time. I'd spent two days practicing holding the spell at a distance and found to my immense satisfaction that so long as the actual portion of the letter where Whole Grain's signature wasn't disturbed, my illusory copy of his signature wouldn't vanish.

And the spell never said I couldn't imagine up several things at once. Plus, even if this plan failed, it wasn't like I was the one who'd be arrested for attempted bank fraud. A real win/win, if you're me.

My eye twitched as I heard a pair of hooves gently creep up to my side. Even with my eyes closed, I had an idea who it was and what that meant, but I held my focus just to be safe.

"Victor?" Sash said, drawing a hum from me. "They've returned." I sighed and released the illusion before flopping onto my back and rubbing my eyes with a groan.

"Did it work?" I grumbled, massaging my thumbs into my temples. Sash didn't reply, but I heard a few more hooves approach and peeked between my fingers to see some of the ponies I'd sent into town standing over me. "Well?" The six of them shared a bashful look before one, the mare who'd jabbed her hoof at me in fact, gently pawed the ground and slowly nodded.

"Yeah, they bought it," she explained with her ears back. She meekly gestured at Sash who now wore a relieved expression. "Like the sheep said, we just told them we were part of the baron's construction team and were collecting payment now that our contract's up." I took a deep breath and let out a heavy, triumphant sigh.

"So, you've all got your little accounts set up and can take out the money now?" I asked, draping my arm over my eyes and adopting a weary smile.

"Yessir," she replied, drawing a hum out of me. "We'll all be able to get our families out of the baron's territory now, I'm pretty sure."

"Great," I sighed, embracing the moment and relaxing. After a few seconds of silence, I sat up with a groan and moved to stand. "Alright. Let's go collect the next batch and-" At my full height, I dusted my hands off, pursed my lips, and blew a huff of air.

"Do it again tomorrow," I murmured, already feeling the impending migraine coming on.

"At a different city, preferably," Sash offered, drawing my attention to him. He leaned toward me with a wink. "Too many withdrawals from the same branch might raise a few eyebrows."

"Good point," I replied with a nod, thinking for a moment. "Philadelphia?" He blinked and raised a hoof.

"Ah, Fillydelphia," he retorted with a knowing grin, earning a scowl from me.

"Fuck off."

PRESENT TIMES, ELSEWHERE

SCANDAL IN CANTERLOT, SIGNS OF IMPENDING ECONOMIC FAILURE?
Following the heinous looting of the Whole Grain Barony by forces led by Blackbeard and Blueleaf more on page 5!, it was discovered that a perplexing clerical error had left the already grieving baron destitute and in debt.

Our investigation has determined-

"Pseudo," Blackbeard grumbled as he scanned the newspaper for a second time, still rocking gently in his chair behind his desk while the rest of the bar outside his private and quiet room partied on. The human had exchanged his tattered old outfit for something more modern and now wore a white silk tunic under a flowing red coat with golden fringes. The only other being in the room slowly strode to his side, and once there he snapped the paper toward him. "What do you make of this? Page five, specifically."

Pseudo took the paper and read the full article carefully as the pirate sat with an annoyed frown. Finally, Pseudo hummed and returned the paper to him. "It seems they've mistaken Victor Fremont for you," he said plainly, drawing a huff from Blackbeard.

"Or Victor Fremont is using my name to commit all manner of mischief without any of the blame falling upon him," Blackbeard groused, looking over his desk and reaching for the little golden bell upon it. "Shameful."

"Do you intend to do something about this?" Pseudo asked as the pirate hammered the bell before reclining again.

"Maybe. Maybe not," Blackbeard replied, rubbing two fingers together. "Might kill him later, but we'll see. For now, I've got a burgeoning colony to tend to. Lots of hopeful little miscreants to speak with." He smiled as the door opened and one such miscreant came trotting in.

"For instance! Who might you be, little lady?" He asked once the pony was seated across from him. She was about to reply when she noticed Pseudo and froze up. For his part, Pseudo said nothing and merely stared back, keeping the pony stuck for a few seconds until Blackbeard glanced between the two and then leaned forward. "Oy." The pony jolted and looked at him before clearing her throat.

"Sneaky Salvage, Mr. Blackbeard, sir," she replied with a slight bow, causing Blackbeard's eyes to light up and a smile to split his features. Sneaky cleared her throat again and donned a meager smile, but before she could say anything further, Blackbeard leaned forward.

"Sneak-" As he attempted to repeat her name, he folded and uttered a drawn-out wheeze that slowly morphed into a heaving, coughing, laughing fit. He beat his palm against his knee as he cackled and nearly fell out of his seat.

Victor's Spell Index II

The airship captain's cabin was quiet for a moment.

Sitting on my bed while I sat on the floor, Sash rubbed his chin with one hoof while the other slowly rocked one of the beads of his abacas back and forth. "So, disregarding the bits we gave to the prisoners," he murmured, squinting one eye and tilting his head back. Even though this was chump change compared to the escapade I'd just performed, it was still nerve-wracking waiting for him to finish. Sort of like waiting for Christmas morning.

After a moment, he nodded and began working his abacas again, faster this time. "Now, you agreed to only take one share of the money for your personal use, while we hold back the rest for use by the Children." I slowly nodded and leaned forward. He paused, narrowed his eyes, and tapped two beads backward before slowly nodding and grabbing the quill beside him with his teeth. Carefully applying some ink to it, he wrote down his calculations and then considered them. After somewhere between a few seconds and forever, he nodded. "Yes, I believe that's right." I sprang forward and snatched the paper from him and read it.

My breath hitched and my palms began to sweat. "That's a lot," I huffed.

"Indeed it is," Sash replied before smiling and then recoiling. "Victor?" I blinked the dancing lights in my eyes away and turned to him.

"Yeah?" I asked. He looked at me in bewilderment for a moment before adopting an incredulous leer.

"Are you- Your eyes were-" I gasped and waved my hand.

"Right, right, right!" I scrambled and pulled out my book before hunting for the page on leveling up. Once I found it, I narrowed my eyes. "Gold to experience ratio, uh. I think I'm level-" I grimaced with a wide frown.

"Six?" I hissed through my teeth. I gave Sash an uncertain look which he matched as his eyes darted left and right.

"Is that good?" He finally asked.

3rd Level

Fly: My power level plus some weird metric times ten minutes. I can fucking fly!

Hold Person: My power level plus six times ten minutes. Victims who fail to resist are frozen in place until the spell ends. I can use it on up to 4 things, but if I focus on just one guy it's way harder to resist. Surprise! It doesn't work on four-legged things. Getting sick of you and your 'horses ain't people' xenophobic bullshit Gary. ~~You win this time Honeysuckle.~~

Dispel Magic: Ten minutes. Stops magic for as long as this spell lasts. Doesn't work on magical items. It also has a weird-ass limiter on magic used by stronger spell casters than me based on the 'ratio' of difference between us. Basically, if they're like twice as strong as me, this only has a fifty percent chance to work.

Clairvoyance: One hundred twenty minutes. A weird one cause it apparently functions like ESP in the Level 2 section, but it lets me 'visualize rather than merely pick up thoughts.' I don't know what the difference is.

Clairaudience: Fuck both of these spells, cause this one works as above but lets me 'hear rather than visualize.' ??? I can apparently cast it through a Crystal Ball, so ????

This confusing shit is making me think the Satanic Panic wasn't that big a deal.

Fire Ball: Scratch that. We're so fucking back. The only weird thing is it has a duration of ten minutes. Haven't had a chance to test it, cause Sash won't let me try aboard the ship. It allegedly hits stronger the more powerful I am.

Lightning Bolt: We've never been more back. This one gets stronger the more powerful I am as well, but apparently if it hits something before it's fully extended it will bounce back. Yikes.

Protection from Evil, 10' Radius: It's just Protection from Evil, but with a wide space and lasts twice as long. Neat.

Invisibility, 10' Radius: It's Invisibility but with a wider space and only lasts for one day. 'Infravision' can still see whatever I cast this on, apparently.

Infravision: Speak of the devil. Lets the recipient see infrared light waves for one full day.

Slow & Haste: Noting these down together cause they're just the inverse of each other. Slow lets me slow down up to 24 creatures in a broad area. Haste does the opposite. These spells counter each other and last for thirty minutes each.

Protection from Normal Missiles: One hundred twenty minutes. Subject becomes immune to missile weapons, like arrows and shit. Normal ones. That's sick as fuck, but it's really fucking funny to me for some reason. Normal missiles. Would an ICBM count as normal? They're pretty normalized back home. Hm.

Water Breathing: One hundred twenty minutes. Gee, I wonder what this one does?

Explosive Runes: Wild. I place a rune on a thing, like a book, parchment, map, whatever. If someone other than me reads whatever the thing is, the rune explodes. I can remove them whenever I want, and magic users stronger than me can attempt to remove them. I suddenly feel a mighty urge to write Honeysuckle an apology letter for all the mean things I've said about her mom.

Rope Trick: Sixty minutes plus my power level times ten minutes. I can take a length of rope and throw it into the air where it will hang. I and up to three others can then climb it and vanish into a pocket dimension at its top end. I don't know what happens if we're in there when the spell ends, but apparently, if the rope is pulled down while we're climbing it, we'll fall.

Suggestion: If the creature fails to resist this spell, it will do what I say when I cast the spell. The suggestion itself must be short and simple and I can't just make them off themselves. However, this one seems like it works on any creature. For one week, at least.

I knew you had it in you, Gary!

Monster Summoning I: Sixty minutes. Lets me summon three to six weak, weedy little monsters to help me. I need to consult the monster list to know for sure what all I can call. They do their best and do as I tell them, but vanish when the spell ends or they are killed. The I in this one's name does catch my attention, however. Kind of directly implies there are better versions waiting down the road.

Oh, and it takes the monsters ten minutes to actually pop up for some reason. Maybe it literally calls them from my surroundings? Gotta consult the monster book.

Chapter 18

Blueleaf moved with a furious purpose in his eyes and disregarded the annoyed sneers from the minotaurs guarding the door to Blackbeard's private office. Rearing up and slamming his forehooves into the door to force it open, he paused to adjust his bicorn hat and sash before striding inside.

"Commodore! Commodore!" He roared, kicking the door shut behind him. Scanning the room lit by the light from its open window, he quickly spotted the man he was hunting for on the little balcony connected to the room. "Blackbeard!" The man's shoulders slumped as he uttered a cheery sigh before he swung about and faced the stallion with a smile.

"What is it, Blueleaf?" He purred, leaning against the balcony railing and casting his gaze skyward. "I was contemplating the three deaths before you burst in." Blueleaf stomped toward him before pausing once he was at the threshold of the exterior door.

"The what?" He muttered after a moment of consideration. Blackbeard hummed a laugh, still with his face turned upward.

"The three deaths," he replied. "It's something that a comrade of mine once proposed." Finally, he looked down at Blueleaf and extended a hand as he spoke.

"A fellow endures three deaths in the end," he continued, counting off with his fingers. "The death of the body, the death of the image, and the death of the self." As Blueleaf furrowed his brow, Blackbeard rolled his hand at him.

"The first you're probably familiar with, it's when your flesh gives out," he explained before offering a strangely grim and mirthless chuckle. "And believe you me, I'm keenly familiar with that one." His smile turned dark as a pause followed, though Blueleaf didn't seem to notice the change and just looked at the pirate expectantly. Finally, Blackbeard's expression softened and he waved his hand.

"The second happens when they drop you in the ground or at sea. When, finally, the image of you is hidden away in your final resting place," he explained before barking a curt laugh and leaning close. "Though, personally, I've plundered enough crypts to know there ain't much final about most resting places!" He laughed in earnest as Blueleaf's eyes darted left and right. Finding he was laughing alone, the pirate cleared his throat.

"Bit of humor for you. Anyway!" He held both his hands up for emphasis. "The death of the self occurs long after you're well and truly dead." He bent to one knee and pointed a single finger at Blueleaf.

"It's when a man's name is spoken for the last time," he added with a firm, low tone before sweeping his hand in a cutting motion. "Forever." Even though, as his vacant expression conveyed, Blueleaf plainly hadn't followed most of what had been said, the pony's ear twitched and he recoiled slightly. Blackbeard let another pause hang in the air as he raked his fingers through his namesake.

"This colleague of mine believed it's that last death that, well," he shrugged and offered a strangely somber expression. "That's when a man is gone." He took a heavy breath before standing to his full height and adopting a smile.

"This recent nonsense with our dear imposter simply reminded me of something that scrawny git said when I first met him," he said before chuckling and sweeping one arm out. "A few hundred years off, and they're still talking about me!" He threw his head back with a laugh as Blueleaf furrowed his brow.

"Guess in one way at least, I really am immortal, ain't I?" Blackbeard chortled, folding his arms and grinning at the pony. Another silence followed.

"Commodore, I must protest to some of your new hires," Blueleaf finally declared, drawing the mirth from Blackbeard's face and a groan from the man himself.

"Must you?" He sighed, rolling his head before fixing the pony with a wry, weary smile.

"I must! One of them is the loathsome hound who assaulted and robbed me within recent memory!" Blueleaf declared with a stomp. He waved his hoof back at the building with an expression of disgust. "He came along with that Sneaky Stumble mare, or whatever her name is." Blackbeard's face lit up as he spoke.

"Ah! So he's an experienced highwayman, then? Excellent!" He declared, clapping his hands, to Blueleaf's shock.

"No! Not excellent!" He cried, adjusting his sash and firmly nodding. "I cannot abide that ruffian being involved in this operation!" A pause followed as the two locked eyes. Finally, Blackbeard shrugged and drew a knife.

"Well! Feel free to kill him yourself, if you feel so incensed!" He said, slipping the blade into Blueleaf's sash. The stallion froze at his response.

"Bwuh?" He squeaked as Blackbeard picked him up with one hand and turned him around before scooting him inside with his foot.

"Until then, go and fetch Yendrek. Alongside Vane's vain philosophies, I was thinking we have enough numbers to begin the next phase of our plan," Blackbeard said before snapping his fingers and pointing at the pony. "And Miss Salvage has already proven herself an asset, mind you! She's delivered me intelligence on an easy target she learned about shortly before coming here." Blueleaf blinked and looked back at Blackbeard who was now looking south with a wicked light in his eyes.

"Hippogriffs from Mount Aris trade at a port a few days south and east of here," he added with a grim chortle.

Rarity threw her head back with a cry of alarm that filled the whole throne room. "An entire noble house bankrupted in one fell swoop!" She cried, shivering as she considered the scale of what had occurred. "What a dastardly action!" She looked up at Celestia, who stood just before her and the other Element-bearers, but had her gaze cast off to the side at one of the stained-glass windows. Twilight furrowed her brow and glanced up at the window, which depicted the construction of Canterlot, before turning to her friends.

"Dastardly is right. But, and I hate to say it, this does work to our benefit in one regard," she offered a weak smile to the princess, who blinked and returned an inquisitive leer. "The baron will be tied up for some time as he attempts to remedy his financial situation." Celestia furrowed her brow as Twilight shrugged meekly.

"Meaning the gathering of all the noble families will be delayed as well," she concluded, to the quiet murmurs of her friends. Celestia glanced to the side for a moment before humming.

"Yes, that is a silver lining, though I hate to consider the personal benefits such tragedies award," she replied before taking a quiet breath and shrugging her wings. "And perhaps as the baron works with Canterlot over the coming months, his position and stance towards my sister and I will be swayed before the nobles convene." Despite everything, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight perked up, while Fluttershy hummed and tilted her head slightly.

"Discord mentioned something like that. He thought it was awfully funny that one of his, uh, 'Agents of Malignance' would wind up helping you so much, Princess," she said before wincing and blushing when she realized what she said. Looking around, she saw all eyes were on her and she wilted as Celestia was the only one smiling.

"Can't believe you're still spending time with that weirdo," Rainbow grunted, shaking her head and waving a hoof through the air. "Especially since pretty much everything that's happening is his fault one way or another!" Fluttershy wilted harder as the others murmured in agreement.

"Well-" Celestia hummed a laugh and stepped closer, spreading her wings as she did.

"Now, now, the fact that Fluttershy is willing to showcase such empathy with one of our foes is not something to deride," she declared, drawing all eyes to her. She considered the smaller ponies before nodding sagely. "Discord remains snared, and if his amicability with her is any sign, who knows?" She faced Fluttershy and winked.

"We may find he comes around sooner or later," she added, drawing a smile from the yellow pegasus after a moment. Nodding again, she considered the other ponies present. "Let's continue to focus on the bright side of things, shall we?" As the others offered her a set of determined smiles, Pinkie sprang up.

"Yeah! Like how we finally have a solid lead on that hairy old bully!" She cried, punching her hooves in the air. "And we know he's flying now, so we know to look up instead of down!" Then, she paused and narrowed her eyes before rubbing her chin.

"Oooh, unless he knows that we know he can fly, and now he's going to be focusing all his piratey business-" She gasped and stamped her hoof. "UNDERGROUND! The LAST place we'd look!" She adopted a critical leer and glared at the tiled floor, searching the grooves between each tile. The others watched her for a moment before Twilight cleared her throat.

"Well, I don't know how true that is, but Pinkie's right! We have a heading!" She declared before nodding at the princess. "We'll set out immediately, Princess!" With a nod of her own and a wave of her wing, Celestia watched as the ponies bowed and then all but stampeded out of the throne room, leaving her alone.

Again, her attention drifted to the stained-glass relief of Canterlot's construction before she sighed heavily and conjured up the morning's newspaper. Reading the front page story again, her expression fell.

"Well, Mr. Fremont, despite my initial assessment, you are a willy one," she quietly said as her eyes drifted across the page. "And I don't appreciate you placing me in a position in which I must see the misfortunes of others as a positive." Closing her eyes with a hum, her horn lit up and the paper burst into smokeless flames and vanished completely. She turned and began to ascend to her throne.

"So, I hope wherever you are, you appreciate me diverting the girls," she said once she was halfway up the stairs as a wry grin worked its way onto her face. "Let's see what else those disaffected souls can convince you to do." Before she could continue, the door burst open and a guard came rushing in. Turning, she fixed him with a surprised look as he bowed.

"Your Majesty, it has returned!" He cryptically hissed. Celestia paused and blinked for a few moments.

"It?" She repeated, causing the guard's ears to shoot back. Her head swiveled as she searched her thoughts. "It. It. What are you talking about?" She fixed the guard with an annoyed, expectant expression as his jaw dropped. After a moment he coughed and rolled a hoof at her.

"The uh, Cadenza affair?" He replied. Celestia tilted her head before squawking and nearly tumbling down the stairs to the guard's alarm. Steadying herself, she stood sputtering and snarling.

"Oh for the love of- Now?!" She all but roared, causing the guard to hug the ground in fear. Celestia stomped down the stairs, hissing as she descended. "Sombra you slack-jawed, snaggle-toothed little-" Once her hooves touched the floor she threw her head back with a chesty growl before blowing a full breath through her lips. After a moment of silence, she considered the terrified guard with a weary expression.

"Well! At least we are prepared, hm?" She more declared than asked as a weak smile came across her face. Then, as the guard stared at her in silence, her wings snapped out as she adopted an even cheerier look. "And let's look on the bright side: Cadance acquiring her birthright could be a major boon during such trying times."

With my open book in one hand and my eyes locked on the page I'd just found and spent a few minutes reading, I stepped down to the deck of the airship where Honeysuckle and her chums were shacking up.

"Hey, Honeysucks. What do you know about the Crystal Heart?" I looked down at her in the hammock she was lounging in. Beside it, Snowpea and Violence looked up at me in mild horror as Honeysuckle sat with her belly up and her head thrown back. After a second more, she slowly looked up at me as well, her mane parted so both her eyes could lock with mine.

"Excuse moi?" She replied. I pursed my lips and read the entry in my book again.

"What do you know about the-" She grunted and waved her hooves at me, adopting a narrow-eyed, sour expression.
"Non, non, I heard that," she said, rolling forward to sit up as best she could. Shaking her head her mane remained parted as she again locked eyes with me. "What did you call me?" My attention remained on my book.

"According to my books, the Heart's supposed to be an emotion-fueled magic item, like the Elements, right?" I pressed, rubbing my chin. I saw some of the other critters dwelling on his deck out of the corner of my eye, looking between me and Honeysuckle.

"Uh-uh! What did you just call me?" She hissed, standing up and causing the hammock to swivel. I offered her an inquisitive leer as I tapped my chin.

"Do you think if we got our hands on it it'd be able to go head-to-head with the Elements?" I asked, causing her to fall into a sputtering, hissing, snarling fit which caused the the hammock to finally spin out from under her. As she hit the deck with a shout, Snowpea winced before looking up at me again.

"Why're you worried about fighting the Elements, Goober?" She asked as Violence helped Honey to her hooves. The cultists nearby began whispering to each other and some trotted off to other decks. I huffed and brought a hand to my chest.

"Oh, pardon me! I was under the impression we just launched a huge ass act of terror against the State of Equestria, which is defended by the Elements, is all," I retorted, causing Snowpea to recoil. I frowned and tapped my book. "Anyway, according to my book it was hidden away in the Crystal Empire like a thousand years ago or something." Now that Honey was on her hooves and glaring at me through her bangs, Violence and Snowpea shared a look.

"Yeah, that's right. But uhm," Snowpea cleared her throat and offered a meager shrug. "The Empire itself vanished a thousand years ago too. I think." She furrowed her brow and looked off in thought.

"You think?" I murmured, causing Honeysuckle to groan and shake her head.

"Much of Equestrian history from that period was lost, so some things aren't well known to the public," she sighed before brushing her chest with a hoof. "But if you know where to dig in the Canterlot archives, or if you're an officer, you can learn all kinds of lesser-known legends." I hummed and nodded before folding my arms.

"And where does the Empire and the Heart stand?" I pressed. Honeysuckle shrugged as she climbed back into her hammock.

"Hidden in the north, vanished a thousand years ago, and currently being monitored for its predicted return," she replied once she was settled, kicking one of her hooves at me once she was lying on her back. "There's an entire northern regiment dedicated to monitoring the area where it disappeared." I drummed my fingers against my chin.

"Could be worth a peek," I offered. "God knows we can't risk returning to the fort."

"Can't we? We can at least pass by to see if it's being overrun by guards," Honeysuckle retorted, tilting her head. "Which would be a better plan than trudging through the frozen north, might I add." I smiled and leaned close.

"That's a good point! Allow me to retort," I snapped my fingers at her. "Captain gives orders on the ship." She snorted and donned a wry smile.

"You'd barely make private," she spat. I pulled back and began to make for the stairs. As I did, I noted the cultists were mostly dispersed, though a few regarded me with a familiar hopeful expression.

"My ship," I called back. "Makes me captain."

"And I command the crew on how to sail," Honeysuckle contended, causing me to pause halfway up the stairs. I turned and wildly gestured at her.

"That just makes you," I paused and frowned as I searched for a title. "Chief- Sailing- Director." I nodded firmly before resuming my ascent. As I marched for my private quarters, I saw the crew whispering amongst themselves. Mainly, each little group of ponies was listening to one of the cultists who had been below decks just a few moments ago, during which time they'd heard my questioning and therefore, guessed my intentions.

With a quiet huff, I pushed through the door to my cabin and closed it behind me. Once it was shut, I turned to meet Sash's concerned eyes from atop my bed where he was waiting.

"So?" He demanded quietly. I smiled and nodded.

"Word's spreading like you said, I think," I explained, shaking my book at him. "Not only did I hint at where we were going but I also dropped that I've got eyes on a magic item that could let us defend ourselves against the Elements of Harmony." I stepped to just before him and folded my arms.

"So, that should quell those murmurs of uncertainty you've been hearing," I said with a confident nod and a smug grin. He took a deep breath and sighed with a smile.

"Excellent! Excellent work, Victor. And again, I do apologize, but three whole days of simply drifting around without any proper course, well," he grimaced before offering me a shrug. "It does get creatures antsy, I'm sure you understand. Now, where did you hint that we were heading?" I nodded and sat down beside him.

"Yeah, according to Honeysuckle the thing is up north," I explained jutting a thumb in the direction I thought was north, before clapping my hands and wagging a finger. "Oh! Added bonus was I got to show up Honeysuckle in front of the gang while I was at it!" I snickered and fixed him with a cheery smile. His own expression was one of mild horror, however.

"What's up?" I asked.

"How far north?" He demanded with a tone more dire than I'd ever heard him use.

A dire tone wasn't the only new thing I'd heard Sash utter. Seemingly, the word 'scruff' is a sheep swear that covers a wide array of profanity, but Sash was attentive enough to ask for my species' version of 'mother fucking dumbass.' Considering, as he made certain to press upon me alongside his hooves into my chest, that the frozen north was a vast empty wasteland of snow and ice and freezing temperatures all year round, that endured week-long night cycles followed by twelve-hour day cycles, and so it was just about the worst place to venture, I empathized with his frustrations.

He'd settled down a little when I revealed we were looking for the Crystal Heart. As he put it, if we could get our hands on it, that'd be huge for doing the whole 'new and better society' thing everyone's been after. But then he remembered what he'd learned during his tenure amongst the upper class, which had allowed him to study ancient history. A few cross-checks with my book hadn't helped his reignited concerns, either.

The Crystal Empire, which was more of a city-state than anything, had been ruled by a cousin or something of Celestia's back in the day. She was overthrown and murdered by an evil unicorn named Sombra, who had a fucking entry in my monster book. Being able to see that he was physically an average unicorn didn't help when I saw the array of special powers he had as well as what he did to people. The book was kind enough to let me know he cast spells as a 15th-level wizard. For comparison, Celestia and her sister were level 18 and 16 respectively. How much those numbers matter for unicorn wizards, I hadn't a clue. But they matter to me, and so I was very scared.

The only consolation to myself and to Sash was the fact the book specified Sombra was pure evil, and thus very susceptible to Protection from Evil 'and similar spells.' Whatever that bit meant.

With that narrow assurance, as well as the muddy hope that the Empire hadn't even returned yet and so we were going into the frozen north for nothing, Sash had departed to prepare the crew and let me prepare my spells for the coming expedition. And prepare I most certainly would. According to the book, I was a proper 'Magician' now. Cause Gary thought it'd be cool to give levels names to go with the number.

You win this time, Mr. Gygax.

Anyway, as a Magician, I was up to four first-level spells and two second and third-level spells. Each. My power grows, my skill increases, and my legend unmatched. Hopefully. And I mean I really hope. If I actually understood how my Clairvoyance spell worked, I might've been able to spy on Celestia and others to see what they were saying about me after what I just pulled. As I didn't know how the spell really worked, I really only had my cult to work off of.

So boy howdy, wouldn't that be just the funniest thing? I leave this huge impression on all of them and get them all hyped up for me only for us all to freeze to death in the fucking snowy north.

Before I could muse on that possibility or on what spells to prepare, a knock came at the door.

"Enter if you dare," I bellowed. A familiar, frightened squeak came in response and I groaned. "I was joking. Come in, Sugarplum." The door creaked open and I sat up on the edge of my bed, setting my books aside. Sugarplum nervously poked her head in first before slowly stepping into the room once I'd beckoned her closer.

"Hi, uhm, Mr. Fremont," she said once she was right in front of me. She had something folded upon her back which she kept glancing back at.

"Hello, Sugarplum," I replied, folding my hands and leaning on my knees. "Did you need something?" Her ears shot back and she didn't answer right away. When she did, she sat down and removed the thing from her back with her magic.

"I know it's probably wrong of me to say, but," she hesitated and scrunched her muzzle. "Thank you for-" I raised an eyebrow as she took a breath and finally got the words out.

"What you did to the baron," she hastily added, with no small amount of shame in her voice. I smiled and gently patted her head.

"Hey, don't worry about it," I replied, tipping her chin up to look at me. "And if you feel that bad, just remember: I'm the evil wizard." I smirked and tapped her nose.

"You're just caught up in the whirlwind of malevolence that is me," I declared, drawing a quiet giggle from her.

"Well, however you want to put it, I wanted to give you something," she lifted the folded thing up to me. It was slightly fuzzy and brow with some obvious stitchwork all over it. "It's not much, but since we're going somewhere cold, and I know you like to stay up reading your magic books, I made this for you." I furrowed my brow as I took the thing and unfolded it, at which point I recoiled.

"I heard those old unicorn wizards wear stuff like this to keep warm, so," she offered as I inspected what she'd given me. "Yeah!"

It was kind of cruddy. It was a little uneven in places, especially at the sleeves. And hell, I wasn't even sure if it was entirely my size.

But this little pony had just given me my first honest-to-God evil wizard robe. She'd even stitched on a simple, but effective, spooky skull on the chest.

"Awesome," I finally declared, turning to her with a smile. "Thanks a million, Sugarplum." She beamed at my response.

"You're welcome," she giggled as I continued appraising my robe. "Let me know if it's warm enough! I don't want that cough to get any worse. It must be pretty dusty in here, 'cause I heard you through the door last night!"

"Yeah, yeah, drafty," I idly replied, still taking in the sight. "Damn, thanks again, Sugar. I really appreciate it."

Honeysuckle reared up on the railing before the helm. "The wind has died down! You three! Check our envelope! Break off any ice that has formed!" She yelled, jabbing a wool-wrapped hoof at three of our pegasi, who shared a look and a groan before zipping up to the balloon and out of sight. I huffed and tightened my robe before glancing up at the balloon.
"You sure I can't-" Honeysuckle whirled around and thrust her hoof at me.

"Non! I already told you, any fire magic could burst the whole thing!" She declared before turning her attention forward with a snort. "Imbécile." Wincing, I looked back over the deck where only half of the crew was present, with the rest hiding inside as it was their turn to warm up outside of the frigid air.

Using the fortune we'd stolen we were able to send a few teams of ponies into some smaller settlements along the way and have them purchase supplies for our journey. Now at least, with everyone given a proper set of winter clothing, we wouldn't freeze to death, and we had some navigation tools Honeysuckle could use to keep us from losing our way. But freezing to death and still being fucking cold were two very different things. Currently, Turnip and Sugarplum were on deck together, taking Violence and Snowpea's post, while Sash, the only creature who wasn't miserable due to the cold, was doing his best at the helm.

"Six degrees south! NOW!" Honeysuckle suddenly barked, causing the poor guy to jump out of his wool. He did as ordered before shooting me a nervous glance. Wincing again, I looked over the deck to see similar expressions of unease aimed my way. "Fix your face, Goobèr." Furrowing my brow, I turned to Honeysuckle, who kept her eyes forward.

"They're looking to you for stability," she said. "You dragged them out here. The least you can do is appear confident in your decision." Considering her and her words for a moment, I turned forward and glanced down at the crew. At that moment, the pegasi returned and landed on deck, where two of them began stamping their hooves to shake some of the frost off before all three looked up at me.

Taking a shallow breath, I furrowed my brow and cast as confident a glare out to the horizon as I could before scanning the wasteland around us. Through the corner of my eye, I saw them still studying me and so I made my way down from the helm to the front of the ship, scanning the horizon all the while. As I paced toward the front, Turnip and Sugarplum moved to intercept and join me.

"You know, back when I joined the guard, the other recruits said the northern watch was more of a punishment than a job," Turnip said before craning his neck to look out over the snow and ice. "Definitely see what they meant now." I hummed in response, causing a small gout of steam to waft through the air from my nose. Before I could say anything though, a rumble rolled across the deck.

"Brace yourselves! The wind is picking up again!" Honeysuckle roared. I hissed through my teeth and tucked the hood of my robe tighter around my head. As the crew scrambled and huddled together at their stations, I squinted against the sudden burst of frigid air that blasted across the deck. In doing so, I spotted something glittering in the distance and leaned forward to get a better look.

Through the snow being whipped through the air, I could definitely see a tall, shimmering shape far away around which the heavy clouds seemed thinner.

"Hey! Look that way!" I cried, turning to the helm and pointing out what I was seeing. "What is that?" The whole crew hurried to my side of the ship and looked at what I'd spotted. After a moment, Honeysuckle shook her head.

"It's just the sun bouncing off the ice!" She replied.

"Sure, but doesn't that mean there's a hole in the clouds over there?" I shot back. She considered me for a moment before nodding.

"Good point! Hard to east!" She barked at Sash. When we didn't immediately begin to turn she snapped around and glared at him. "Hard to-!" I furrowed my brow and looked at Sash as well, who was turned to the opposite side of the ship with his ears back and his face drawn in a wide-eyed frown. Blinking, I slowly looked that way as well.

"Protection from Evil," I immediately declared, throwing my hand up. My hand glowed golden for a moment before the air around me shimmered with a similar light. Now surrounded by my divine nimbus of power, I nervously approached the opposite edge of the boat, drawing everyone's attention as I did.

"What the heck is that?!" Someone cried once their eyes fell upon what Sash had spotted. And if I hadn't read my books, I might've been just as lost as him. Instead, I faced the looming, rumbling cloud of darkness that completely hid the entire horizon on its side with only mild pants-shitting terror.

"Sombra," I called to the cloud. The cloud rolled in on itself for a moment before a smirking, faintly-equine shape swelled forward and two green eyes lit up. A sharp, jagged red horn burst from the clouds followed by a bellowing cackle. His eyes fell upon me and I pounded my chest. "Give it your best shot." His grin wavered for a moment, so I decided to press my luck.

I flipped him off. "Bitch." His eyes lit up and his horn crackled before he plunged toward me face-first with a bone-shaking roar. I didn't even have time to clench my eyes before he made impact. I did however have time to gasp in relief when my evil-warding shield flashed and he threw himself back with a howl of pain. His cloudy shape rolled back with him and then snapped down to ground level where it vanished from sight under the wind-whipped snow.

Panting and clenching my hands, I slowly turned back to the crew, all of whom, Honeysuckle included, had me fixed with looks ranging from abject shock to teary-eyed despair. A few were even passed out on the deck. Sucking in a breath, I thrust my arm toward the shape in the distance.

"Hard to east."

Even as we drew near to what steadily revealed itself to be a crystalline city that Honeysuckle and Sash quickly declared to be the Crystal Empire, my eyes were constantly glued back the way we came. The snow continued to rush through the air giving the no-doubt angry unicorn wizard plenty of places to hide, and I found myself zoning out as I kept mistaking dark spots in the storm for him.

I had two more Protection from Evil spells and one ten-foot protection spell prepared. If nothing else, I could hold him at bay if he tried to attack us head-on again, but the guy was a wizard.

And I had no idea what else unicorn magic users could pull off.

Fortunately, as the book had implied about the guy, he was a schemer and cautious. He preferred to lay traps and only engaged his enemies when he was confident he had the advantage. As my spell had proven that we were better defended than he first assumed, I hoped that he was hanging back and observing us, giving us time to locate the Crystal Heart and hopefully kill him with it.

And my second level 'Locate Object' spell would hopefully speed that search up. Hopefully.

Damn it, how many evil wizards find themselves relying on hope and the power of love? I should be the one other people are hoping and praying about and using hokey touchy-feely magic powers against!

"This is bullshit," I grumbled.

"What?" I blinked and turned to see Sash beside me. He tilted his head. "Is that another human curse?"

"Yes."

"Ah, I'll keep that in mind," he hummed, before gesturing with a hoof. "Anyway, we're about to begin descending, Victor." Looking toward the front of the ship, I saw we were now right on the fringes of the city. In fact, we were actively crossing a sort of invisible threshold where the snow and wind seemed to die down in a perfect sphere around the city.

The crystal streets and buildings were still dusted with snow and frost, but it was gentler compared to everything we'd seen so far, and a faint glow from the sun was visible through the clouds. How daylight worked here when, as Sash had said, the rest of the area endured a full week of night, I hadn't a clue.

Chalk it up to hokey magic gobbledygook.

At the center of the whole place was a massive tower made of, you guessed it, pure crystal and no doubt the object I'd spotted from afar. What was cool was the fact that, now that I'd noticed the tower, I realized the entire place was set up like a big ass snowflake with how the streets spread between the blocks of buildings.

"Dollars to donuts that's the palace or whatever," I declared.

"I think you're right," Honeysuckle called back as she stepped back onto the helm deck. Her gaze lingered on the structure for a moment before drifting to me. "Might be a good place to hole up for the time being."

"Agreed," I idly replied. A silence followed. After a few seconds, we shared another look and then noticed Sash looking between us with surprise written on his face. After another moment of silence, Honeysuckle whipped around and marched to the lower deck while I focused on the approaching city.

"Dork," she spat.

"Your mom," I replied. Sash sighed quietly before joining me in observing the city.

After a few minutes, we had set the ship down and were disembarked and making our way down one of the snow-dusted crystal roads toward the tower. Though there was still a chill in the air, it was way more bearable here than in the wasteland outside. Every so often, I glanced back to see if I could spy any looming clouds of shadow but saw only snow.

"I can't believe you were right. The crystal city's real!" someone chirped, drawing my attention to the cultists following my, Sash's, and Honeysuckle's lead. I quickly found the voice's owner, a pink pegasus with bright yellow eyes that were darting all around as we passed between a few smaller rock buildings. I smiled and brought a hand to my chest.

"I always aim to please, little lady," I replied, causing the pony to pause and turn to me before furrowing her brow.

"I'm a guy," he spat. I choked and stumbled before looking at him in horror. Scanning the rest of the group, most of them wore expressions of shock and a few of severe disappointment. Except for Honeysuckle, whose attention was firmly locked on our surroundings as she marched on without us. I cleared my throat and meekly gestured at the guy.

"Fuck. Sorry," I murmured, at which he snorted and trotted right past me. I stood there for a moment as everyone else walked around me, with one hand over my mouth and my face hot enough to ward off the cold. Eventually, I overcame my soul-crushing embarrassment and ran to catch up with the rest of the group. By now we were well and truly inside the city and hemmed in on all either side by increasingly tall crystal buildings with the tower looming in the distance and growing closer every second.

"Wait," Honeysuckle suddenly snapped, holding up a hoof and causing everyone to freeze, allowing me to make it to the front of the group.

"What's up?" I quietly asked once there. She scanned our surroundings before humming and lowering her hoof. Blinking, I looked up and saw what she'd noticed.

Slowly, one by one, we found ourselves surrounded by a large crowd of ponies. Unlike most ponies I'd seen, these ones seemed universally depressed. It was strange; they seemed to have an almost glossy sheen to them, but it was dull and grey, like poorly stained glass. What's more, there wasn't a single ear that wasn't pressed back, and they all had their eyelids half closed as they looked at us with uniform and vacant stares.

"Huh," I murmured, glancing back at our group who huddled close together and looked out at the others with trepidation.

"I don't think they mean us harm," Honeysuckle quietly said, drawing my attention back to her as Sash came up beside us.

"Even if they did, they don't look like they have much fight in them," he added. At that moment, one of the new ponies, a glossy yellow pony with a full-on greaser-style pompadour, stepped out from the crowd and approached us.

"Who- Who are you," he said in a near whimper before wilting. "Are you with him?" Guessing who he meant, I frowned and folded my arms.

"They are with me, Victor Fremont," I replied, raising an eyebrow. "And who are you?" The crowd murmured amongst themselves as the forepony winced.

"I'm Ivoryhoof, I was," he paused and then winced hard, holding one hoof to his head. After a moment he blinked and shook his head. "Somepony important, I think." I shared a look with Sash before nodding.

"Hello, Ivoryhoof. And who are they?" I gestured to the crowd, causing Ivoryhoof to blanch.

"You-" He sighed quietly before pointing at some of the others. "Uh, well, that's Amberlocks, that's Dandygloss, that's-"

"No, no, damn it," I huffed and waved a hand. "I mean in general. Who are all of you?" A look of relief washed over his face and he nodded.

"Ah. We're, well," he hesitated and frowned slightly before shrugging. "The Crystal Ponies of the Empire, Mr. Fremont." I recoiled slightly, but Honeysuckle spoke before I could press him.

"How long have you been here?" She asked. He sighed again and rolled his head.

"Well, my mother-"

"I meant the lot of you," she corrected.

"Oh. Uh, forever, I guess?" Ivory replied with a shrug. He looked over the crowd as he continued. "Most of us were born here before-" He froze and shivered.

"Before he came," he all but whispered as a similar dreadful vibe washed over the crowd. Scanning them, I saw a few hugging the ground or each other. Honeysuckle meanwhile slowly shook her head.

"The Empire vanished a thousand years ago," she said, taking a step closer to Ivory and glancing at the crowd. "You've all-" She paused and then locked eyes with Ivory.

"You've been here this whole time? Alive?" She finished with a curt huff, drawing a look of shock from Ivory.

"A thousand years?" He gasped, shaking his head. "I don't-" Again, he winced and held a hoof to his head. A few other ponies in the crowd mimicked his action. Oh cool, magic gobbledygook. I leaned to Honeysuckle and pulled Sash close.

"They must've gotten caught in the magic that vanished the whole place," I whispered as the crowd recovered from whatever mind-fuckery was done to them. Sash and Honey recoiled at my assessment before the latter looked over the crowd.

"That's," she paused and shook her head. "Awful." I shrugged and stood up before stepping past them, sweeping an arm out and drawing the crowd's attention.

"Hear me, Victor Fremont the Great and Powerful!" I roared in my wizard voice, causing some of the crystal ponies to quiver. "Sombra is no friend of mine, and I have come to this city seeking the means to dispatch him once and for all!" Ivoryhoof and a few others recoiled at my proclamation, and several gasps and lively whispers sprang up. I stepped forward again and pointed at the tower.

"My companions and I shall sojourn to yonder palace to prepare the next steps of our quest! I beseech ye to select one from amongst yourselves to treat with my representative while we hunt!" As the crowd took in my declaration, I leaned to Sash and whispered. "Do you mind handling these guys while we search? Maybe see if any of them have an idea where the Heart is?" He blinked before adopting a wry smile and nodding.

"Sure thing, Victor."

The inside of the crystal tower was much warmer and so the cultists began to disrobe from their winter gear before huddling into little groups all around the foyer. As they did, I took a breath and held my hands to the heavens to unleash my 'Locate Object' spell, focusing on the details of the Crystal Heart as my book had presented them. My hands glowed and then the light pinged out to like twenty feet, maybe. I dunno, distance estimations of weird magical light are hard.

Especially since I was more frustrated when nothing happened.

"And," I sucked in a breath and groaned. "Wherever it is it's out of fucking range. Great." I let my arms drop and slap against my legs.

"So what do we do, Avatar?" Looking over at the cultists, some of whom were still shivering from our trip, I hummed and rubbed my chin. My gut told me that some clue to the Heart's location was here, we just had to find it. There was no way this huge ass tower didn't get used back in the day by Sombra. Towers and wizards go hand in hand, I don't care what species you are.

"Okay," I murmured, looking around the foyer and eyeing up the exits. As I did, my eyes fell upon Honeysuckle who was relaxing beside Snowpea and Violence and a grimace worked its way onto my face. Making my way to her I huffed. "Alright, as much as it pains me to suggest this, why don't you and I go search the castle for the Heart or anything else useful while everyone else warms up and relaxes?" She recoiled slightly and tilted her head. I rolled one hand at her as I continued.

"I've got one more locate spell prepared that we could fire off if we come across something suspicious, but more importantly, I've got a shield prepped and, well," I sighed and gestured to her, causing her to perk up.

"Ah, you're giving me the option to smash your head into things as hard as I can?" She purred before rolling to her hooves with a little bow. "I accept your offer with grace and humility." Snowpea frowned and looked up at me.

"Just the two of you?" She murmured, drawing a shrug from me.

"When my shield's up, we're pretty deadly as a pair, so I'm not too worried about us," I wagged a finger at her and Violence. "But you two and Turnip are pretty competent yourselves. That's why I want you three to keep an eye on everyone else. If something happens, I'm sure you can handle it." She scrunched her muzzle before finally relenting with a nod that I mirrored.

"We'll be back," I declared before setting off with Honey, who giggled quietly as she followed.

"My my, he's actually using his head for once," she said with a snort. "And I thought that honor was reserved for me."

"Your mom, actually," I replied, drawing a hiss from her. Despite our banter, we carried on from the foyer and I found myself admiring the tower's interior. It really seemed like the whole place was built from a single, giant piece of crystal. The windows, the chandeliers, the blasted open door, the framed-

Wait.

"Quoi?" Honeysuckle murmured as we both turned to inspect the destroyed crystal door. On the other side was a library with dozens of tomes ripped from their shelves and hurled to the ground. As I braced to fire off my shield spell, Honey inspected the scorch marks on the door. "This is fresh."

"Sombra probably threw a fit or something way back when, and since the city just reappeared it only seems fresh," I offered, scanning the room and the ceiling. Somehow, my explanation offered me no comfort, especially as Honeysuckle hummed with an unsure tone.

"Well-" Just then, we heard some gentle humming coming from the hall and whipped around. Before I had a chance to raise my shield, Honey snatched me up by the legs and brandished me like a club.

"Wait! Wait!" I cried.

"Non! This is what we trained for!" She retorted, taking up a stance. Before things could escalate, the pink pony from earlier appeared in the doorway. We both froze as he turned into the door and recoiled at the sight of us.

"Uh, hi?" He squeaked, meekly waving a hoof. Honey and I both sighed in relief, though my sigh turned to a squawk of pain as she let me drop.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded. "We told you all to wait behind. Did something happen?" He flinched and scrunched his muzzle before snapping his wings and closing them.

"Oh, well," he murmured and then perked up. "I figured you could use some help!" By now I had made it back to my feet, and Honey firmly shook her head.

"Non. Return to the others unless something happens," she ordered. The guy wilted and turned away with a whimper. I sighed and stepped forward to stop him.

"Hey, I know I said it earlier, but genuinely, sorry about, uh, you know," I offered with a shrug. He blinked and tilted his head. "Sorry." He considered me for a moment before smiling.

"Aw, don't worry about it big guy! Everypony makes mistakes," he said brushing my leg with his wing. "I'm a big mare, I try not to hold on to grudges." I paused. A few seconds of silence passed, during which time he tilted his head again.

"Mare?" I pressed, furrowing my brow. He recoiled and blinked.

"What?" He squeaked. Turning to Honeysuckle, whose attention was firmly on him, I folded my arms and fired off my shield. As if sensing the shift, I was again swept off my feet and then snapped through the air. The whole room spun by in a blur and when I stopped, I had the imposter pinned against the wall hard enough to crack it. They squealed and wheezed before going limp and falling to the floor. Once there, yellow flames rolled up their body, revealing one of those crazy bug horses I'd seen at Canterlot.

However, this one had a yellow underbelly and eyes compared to the green ones I'd seen back in the city.

"A changeling!" Honeysuckle cried, working me like a lever to pin the creature. "From a different hive than the one that attacked Canterlot, too." The changeling hissed and struggled in vain against me.

"You'd better believe it, you dirty grazer!" It hissed. "I serve Queen Apterygota, not that buzzy loon, Chrysalis!" I exhaled hard as the thing kicked and scratched against my shield.

"Man, I was worried Sombra had crept up on us somehow," I sighed, before glaring at the bug. "Fuck do you want? And be quick before I fireball your ass." It fixed me with a smug leer.

"You don't scare me! I braved the frozen north alone to find the Crystal Heart! You think some lanky weirdo and his unicorn hussy can spook me?" It spat.

"HAAaaah?" Honey wailed. I meanwhile, nodded in understanding.

"Oh hey, we're looking for the Crystal Heart too," I declared. "Small world." The changeling's eyes went wide.

"How'd you know that's what I was after?!" It squealed, before wilting as Honeysuckle leaned almost nose to nose with it.

"Because you told him, imbécile," she growled. "Goobèr, let's kill them." I waved a hand at her.

"In a minute," I tapped the changeling on the head. "The fuck do you want the Heart for?" It hesitated but whimpered upon glancing at Honeysuckle.

"Oh, Queenie. Please forgive me!" It sobbed. "The Crystal Heart's supposed to be an infinite love battery. If we got our hooves on that, we'd be able to feed our hive and leverage its power against the others!" I blinked.

"Huh?"

"Changelings eat love. That's why they developed magic that lets them disguise themselves, so they can replace a pony's loved ones and feed on their love," Honeysuckle grumbled, drawing a long frown from me.

"Creepy," I declared before inspiration struck. I tapped the changeling again. "If you eat love, can you sniff it out?" It blinked and tilted its head.

"Uhm, kinda yeah?"

"Cool," I declared before hurling my 'Suggestion' spell at them. As my hand swept out at them, a line of garbled words flowed out in a line that shot them straight between the eyes. "I'm Victor Fremont and you're going to help us find the Crystal Heart." As I spoke, the garbled words shifted to match what I was saying before sinking into their head. They blinked and then smiled.

"Okay!"

"Huh?" Honey murmured, looking between me and the changeling who was now smiling cheerily. Catching on to what I'd done, she lifted me up allowing the creature to scurry to its hooves. "How long have you been able to do that?"

"Recent development," I explained.

"Hm," she replied. Now that the changeling was upright, I turned to them.

"So, hey, what's your name? And what the fuck were you trying to accomplish by sneaking up on us?" I asked. They perked up and brought a hoof to their chest.

"I'm Scuttle! I was about to sneak into the palace when you all arrived, so I was watching you from the shadows," they declared, adopting a creeping pose as they did. "When you made it to the palace, I crept away and found a secret passage!"

"Really?"

"Yep! It was thin, but I could smell the scent of a whole lot of love coming from it. So I was going to trick you two into leading the way in case there were any traps!" They added. Honeysuckle and I shared a look.

"Secret passage huh? Good place to start," I assessed before thrusting a hand at Scuttle. "Lead the way."

"Okie-dokey!"

Boy howdy, did we give the cult a scare when we came traipsing back through with a changeling since the foyer was the quickest route back to the throne room where this secret passage was located. Despite their protests, Honey and I still followed the critter on our own, and soon found ourselves standing before a big, ominous black rock throne and looking down a spiral staircase into a vast, deep pit.

"Crazy huh?" Scuttle asked.

"I'll say," I replied, examining the crystal that composed the stairs and pit. "It's completely different from the rest of the tower."

"Must be dark magic. If any place was going to be trapped, it'd be here," Honeysuckle replied, eyeing the staircase warily. I was eyeing the stairs too, but for a different reason.

Shit was steep and long. Fuck that noise. House Telvanni for life. Ground walkers get out.

Scooping up my unicorn hussy, and bug friend, I cast fly on myself and began to glide down. And I was now officially tapped out on third-level spells. Worth.

"Since when can you fly?" Honeysuckle demanded.

"Since I saw how long this wack-ass staircase was," I replied. She considered me for a moment before looking a the stairs, which were still going. And going. And going.

"Ah, très bien," she finally said. Shortly thereafter, we touched down. I sighed with satisfaction as I set Scuttle down and dropped Honeysuckle.

"What would you do without me?" I mused, pondering the vast distance we'd descended.

"Would you like an itemized list?" Honeysuckle growled. "Becau-" I clenched my eyes shut and grimaced.

"Ah-hah! See? Traps!" Scuttle cried. Slowly, I opened one eye and turned to see Honeysuckle inches away an open door filled with some spooky, shadowy crud. She was stock still and from this angle, I could see her eyes wide open with a greenish tint. Humming and preparing to write her off as k.i.a, I heard her murmuring.

"Non," she whispered, flinching as she did so. "I- I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." Rubbing my chin as she whispered and whimpered, I considered the void she was staring at from a safe distance. Humming and rocking my head back and forth, I finally sighed with a nod.

"Protection from Evil," I declared, lighting myself up and running my warded arm through the void. The void screamed.

Fingers crossed I won't ever hear that again.

At any rate, the shadow shrunk in on itself and then vanished with a ghoulish whisper, revealing a passageway to a bright, white crystal chamber with another staircase going up. As soon as the void had vanished, Honeysuckle gasped and stumbled back before whipping her head around and panting.

"You good?" I asked, causing her to jump and look up at me. After a moment, she looked at where the darkness had been and then back at me.

"That was a magical trap?" She panted. When I nodded she did likewise before swallowing and looking at me again, still breathing hard. "You saved me?"

"Yeah, guess so," I shrugged, considering where the shadow had been. "The fuck was happening to you?"

"Ah," she squawked. Turning, I saw her stammering and looking every which way but mine. Finally, she cleared her throat. "A nightmare. Just- Just a nightmare." I nodded and looked at the space again. Literal doorways to your worst nightmare definitely tracked with what I'd read-

"Thank you." I blinked and looked down at Honey who was still averting her gaze.

"Mr. Fremont! Look!" Scuttle cried. Turning, I saw in the doorframe where the spooky void door thing had been, was a four-legged figure in a cloak, lying on its side. "There was a pony in there!"

"They must've been the one running that spell," I grumbled. Scuttle carefully inched up to the pony.

"Really? I thought Sombra set all these up," they said, leaning forward to get a better look at the figure. "They look like they're out cold." I hummed and slowly crept closer as well.

"Sure, but who's to say he didn't have someone running his traps while was away?" I replied. Honeysuckle stepped past us both and hopped over the pony. "And they probably got knocked out when I killed the spell."

"I'm not sure if your spell would cause that," Honey said. Using her magic she pulled back the pony's hood and then jumped back with a shout. "This is-!"

"What's up?" I asked, reaching down and pulling back the pony's hood, revealing a red mane with a yellow streak. My hand was snapped back by Honey's magic.

"That's Sunset Shimmer! She's a rogue unicorn trained by Celestia herself!" She cried. The news of who'd trained this specimen sent a chill up my spine and I all but flung myself back. Scuttle meanwhile just inspected the pony closer.

"Sunset Shimmer? I've never heard of her," they muttered.

"Every guard in Canterlot and beyond knows her!" Honeysuckle explained, her attention rapidly snapping from Scuttle to Sunset. "The princess offered a three million bit reward for her capture!"

"Damn," I huffed before considering the unconscious unicorn. Pondering her helpless state for a moment and then her value, I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips. "You think we could-"

"Wha.." the unicorn murmured as she stirred, clenching her eyes before opening them and looking around in a mild daze.

"Shit," I grumbled, quickly backing up from the mare. She rolled onto her belly and looked around.

"Where- Where am I?" She murmured, blinking and rubbing her eyes which were a sharp, stingy red. "Where's Celestia?"

"Back in Canterlot, presumably," I offered before adopting a more confident posture and my wizard voice. "And you're in the presence of the All-powerful Fremont." She paused and looked back at me. Swallowing, I gestured to my companions.

"And company." She blinked again and looked at Honeysuckle and Scuttle, the former of whom shivered at her attention. After a moment, Sunset glanced at me again with an incredulous look.

"Who?" She asked. Before I could respond she waved her hoof. "Never mind, forget I asked." Rising to her hooves she scanned the chamber above us and paced the floor, allowing me to slowly creep past her to Honeysuckle and Scuttle.

"This is the Crystal Palace," she murmured before grimacing. "Damn, I must've run into one of Sombra's traps. And after being so careful opening that passage, too." She grumbled and stared at the floor for a moment before looking back at us.

"Did you break me out?" She asked, furrowing her brow.

"Yes," I quickly replied as I pulled Scuttle closer to me and Honeysuckle. "So you owe me."

"You sure about that?" She shot back.

"No," I retorted with a wide frown, drawing a smirk from her.

"Good answer," she declared.

"Speaking of answers, can I ask you something?" I asked, causing her to crack her neck with a hum.

"Only if you don't mind the answer coming in the form of me blasting your face off if the question ticks me off," she explained before fixing me with an annoyed glare. Honeysuckle of all creatures squeaked in response, which was all the confirmation I needed that I shouldn't press my luck this time.

Instead, I scooped up Honey and Scuttle and shot straight up the second staircase. As we raced upward, I cast a glance back down to see the tiny yellow terror peering back up at us. To my eternal relief, instead of doing.. Whatever the hell a professional unicorn wizard can do, she turned and disappeared back through the door.

"What in the world was she doing here?!" Honey cried.

"Whatever the fuck she wants I'm guessing," I replied.

"Très bien," she gurgled, clenching her legs close to herself. At that moment, Scuttle gasped.

"Hey! You smell that?" They squealed. Honey and I shared a look before glaring at them as they looked up above us. "I think we found it!" Turning my attention upward, I saw the exit of the staircase and aimed for it. Slipping through, we found ourselves at what must've been the tip-top of the entire tower if the open sky around us was any indication.
And there, floating right in the center was a big old rock matching the description of the Crystal Heart.

"Hell yeah!" I cheered as we hovered in place.

"We found it!" Scuttle squealed, kicking her legs with glee.

"Let's grab it and flee this horrible place!" Honey demanded. Nodding, I flew straight for it and let Honey reach out and snatch it from its resting place.

As soon as she grabbed it, the entire floor flashed a dark grey, and then a cage of black crystals sprang up to surround us. But as I was already speeding toward the edge of the roof, I smashed into them and my evil warding spell shattered them.

Yeah, go fuck yourself, Sombra. You and your wacky fun house antics.

All at once, the frozen wasteland around the Crystal Empire was rolled back like a scroll as a massive, pink bubble sprang up from the palace at the Empire's center and spread all the way to the city's fringes. In place of snow and ice, green fields and flowers and trees sprang up as if by magic, and the sun shined upon the entire realm brighter than it had in a thousand years.

But beyond the barrier, the land was still frigid and snow-blasted and dark. And atop one frozen glacial peak, an armored black unicorn stood, glowering at the Empire's sudden revival. Taking a heavy breath that he released in a growl, he firmly nodded.

"Alright, you foul-mouthed poltroon," Sombra spat. "We'll see how well that ward of yours is when I-" He paused and frowned.

"I hurl a big rock at you," he pursed his lips. "A really big rock." He narrowed his eyes as he glared at the city again.

"Several really big rocks at you."

Who woulda guessed the Heart could cause such a transformation? Not only was the city shining and glittering in the midday sun, surrounded by vibrant green fields as if we weren't in the middle of the frozen north, but the crystal ponies themselves, and even my own cultists now had a magical, glassy sheen over them.

I seemingly didn't receive an invite to the shiny festival, however, and remained unchanged.

That didn't stop the crystal ponies from rallying around me in the city square, cheering for me like I was the best thing since sliced bread. They'd even gone to the trouble of hauling out a big ass seat for me to lounge upon as they heaped praise upon me for my daring rescue of not only their city but the Crystal Heart as well.

It was all so gratifying that I almost completely forgot about Sunset Shimmer, who seemingly vanished after I'd lost sight of her. Nearby, as the cult was also at the center of the celebration, Honeysuckle sat with her head on a swivel, scanning the entire congregation with anxiety. Just beside her, Scuttle lay gently snoozing, having apparently gotten her fill from the initial burst of 'pure love energy' or whatever it was the Heart did upon activating.

As I considered her sleeping form, Sash came trotting up to me with Ivoryhoof. "Victor, Senator Ivoryhoof here has just proposed something I think you'll be thrilled to hear!" He said with no small amount of glee written on his face. Taking a step back, Ivoryhoof bowed his head to me.

In addition to cleansing the dreary miasma that had gripped the whole town, the Heart had also cleansed the fog clouding the crystal ponies' minds, allowing many, like Ivoryhoof, to remember exactly who they'd been before Sombra appeared.

And as Sash had said, in Ivory's case, he was a senator and therefore one of the highest-ranked ponies present, a fact reinforced by the crowd going silent as he spoke.

"Master Fremont," he said upon rising. "I believe I speak for the whole Empire when I say we are in your debt." He began to pace before me, seemingly addressing the crowd as he spoke.

"When Sombra came and usurped the throne, we were cast into an age of darkness that seemed without end," he gestured to me with a hoof. "And you have liberated us of that." A brief chorus of cheers rang up.

"Unprompted and without any promise of repayment, you braved the dangers of Sombra's citadel and stole back that which provides our home with life," he added, gesturing to the Crystal Heart and palace. With another round of cheers, he fixed me with a smile. "Therefore, I would like to propose-"

"What is going on here?" A voice suddenly split the air and the crowd. Ivory blanched and whirled around as a pink alicorn came marching through the crowd. She looked around in bewilderment before locking eyes with me, at which point my heart sank. She glared hard at me. "What the heck are you doing here?" Oh no.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Ivory demanded. The alicorn blinked and glanced at him before looking around and seeing all eyes were on her. Adopting a more confident stance with her wings spread, she addressed the whole crowd.

"I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and I have come to liberate the Crystal Empire and reclaim the throne of my ancestor, Princess Amore!" She declared to the audible surprise of the crowd.

Celestia's niece. Called it. Frick.

Before I could bolt from my seat, Ivory cleared his throat.

"It's a little late for that, no offense Your Majesty," he retorted, causing her to tilt her head. He then gestured to me. "Master Fremont already liberated the Empire and we were preparing to give him the throne."

"Huh?" She huffed.

"Huh?" I croaked. She and I shared a look of shock as a pony from the crowd sprang forward.

"It's true! This whole place was covered in ice and darkness until like, thirty minutes ago!" He cheered, pointing to the Crystal Heart. "Master Fremont found the Crystal Heart and returned it to us!" Mi Ame whatever, I'mma call her Clarice, blanched at the guy's assertion.

"You're kidding," she all but gasped, looking at me in horror as her wings drooped. "But- I- He-"

"But if you're really a descendant of Princess Amore then, hm," Ivoryhoof hummed, tapping his chin. "That does complicate things." He paused and turned to face her.

"If it's true anyway, and you're not just trying to ride on Master Fremont's coattails," he added with a suspicious glare that caused Clarice to recoil. Sash sprang forward between the two.

"If it is true then there's still no issue!" He exclaimed, waving a hoof at her and then me. "Not if she serves as more of a national icon while Victor serves as the proper administrator of the nation!" Clarice's jaw continued to droop as Ivory and the other crystal ponies murmured at the notion. Sash meanwhile winked at me before facing Ivoryhoof again.

"Yeah! That could work!" Ivory chirped. That proved too much for the pretty pony princess.

"No! Absolutely not!" She screeched, stomping her hoof and making everyone jump. "Celestia would never stand for that! This creature is a criminal! He escaped from Canterlot after causing all kinds of chaos." She stomped toward me, causing me to shrink into my seat with my hands up.

"Because he is an agent of chaos, summoned by Discord himself to do evil!" She declared, jabbing a damning hoof my way. "And Celestia has been seeking him to have him arrested!"

"Are you saying Celestia is going to invade the Empire?" Ivory gasped with a hoof to his chest. All at once, the fury in Clarice's face melted and she looked at him in shock. Then the rest of the crystal ponies peeped up.

"She already did when Sombra was around," one offered.

"That was just to get Sombra!" Another contested.

"Yeah! And Fremont isn't anything like him!" Someone added.

"He brought the Crystal Heart back!" Someone sobbed as they fell to the ground and covered their face with their hooves. "Is she really going to-"

"No! Absolutely not! She would never! She wants to help the empire grow, not go to war with it, even over a weirdo like him!" Clarice cried, desperately waving her hooves in rejection of the question. My eyes lit up and I took a deep breath at her assertion, however. "What I meant was-"

"I accept your offer with humility and grace," I declared, thrusting an arm out. "I will be your emperor." The effect was immediate as the ponies all recoiled before looking at each other, then jumping and cheering. Clarice meanwhile recoiled doubly hard and then stared at me with wide eyes and her jaw hanging ever so slightly slack.

Author's Note

Victor's Spell Index III

Dear Diary,

I went blind a little from all the flashing lights. I guess becoming Emperor of the Crystal Ponies(first decree, they are now the Crystalline Equines. Way less lame.) on top of finding the Crystal Heart was worth a bump in power or two.

I'm now level nine and am a sorcerer. I have four first-level spells per day, three second-level spells per day, three third-level spells per day, two fourth-level spells per day, and one fifth-level spell per day. I also have a pounding headache from the flashing lights and coughed myself awake this morning from how dusty my new room is.

Oh, and Clarice's husband, Rusty Hauberk is in time out in the dungeon. He tried to blow me up and then tried to blow up Scuttle, cause he a racist ass.

Anyhoo! I finally feel well enough to transcribe my bullshit! Wee!

4th Level

Polymorph Self: 6 plus my power level times ten minutes. I can turn into whatever I want, but apparently, that doesn't include the 'combat benefits' of whatever I turn into. It gives the example of turning into a dragon and only being able to fly, not breathe fire. For once, I'll take it.

Polymorph Others: I can, and did, turn Honeysuckle into a frog. It lasts until dispelled, so three hours later I got an earful in French. Worth. There are some notes that turning something big and tough into something small and feeble doesn't necessarily make them feeble. Once again, I'll take it.

Remove Curse: It removes a curse. Useful, but kind of plain.

Wall of Fire: Conjures a big ass wall of fire that lasts until I stop concentrating on it. The heat alone is apparently too much for weaker creatures to bear so they can't even get close. I can make it appear as an actual wall or a circle.

Wall of Ice: Conjures a wall of ice six inches thick and otherwise just as big as the Wall of Fire.

Confusion: For one hundred and twenty minutes, this spell inflicts severe confusion on a small number of creatures. This number gets bigger the stronger I get. The confusion inflicted is severe enough to cause them to confuse friend for foe.

Charm Monster: Charm Person but it works on everything. Additionally, it can hit multiple targets if they're weak. Finally.

Growth of Plants: I can make.. plants grow big and wild. To the point they become impassable. Cool? Lasts until dispelled by magic.

Dimension Door: A limited teleport spell. The range isn't huge, but who gives a fuck?

Wizard Eye: Lasts sixty minutes. A more useful form of ventriloquism. I send out a magic eye to spy on things a moderate distance away. The eye is invisible and I can move it at a reasonable pace even after sending it to a spot. Hell yeah.

Massmorph: Macbeth looking ass. Lets me magically disguise up to 100 'man-sized or smaller' creatures as woods or orchards. Unless the spell is dispelled by magic or my command, the disguise is pretty much perfect. Crazy.

Hallucinatory Terrain: I can magically hide 'terrain' or create illusory terrain. Hills, swamps, woodlands, things like that. The illusion breaks as soon as someone touches it. Nifty.

Ice Storm: For ten minutes, I conjure an ice storm that rains painful hailstones upon anyone caught inside. It's not super huge or anything, but the hailstones are big enough to leave some serious bruises by my estimate.

Fear: Anyone who fails to resist this spell flees from me as fast and as far away as they can get for sixty minutes. As they should.

Monster Summoning II: Works just like the weaker version but now it summons stronger things. Tight.

Extension I: Increases the duration of 1st to 3rd level spells by 50%. My god.

5th Level

Teleport: I think we skip this one. It doesn't really have a range limit, but what it does have is details on what happens if I try to teleport to a place I'm unfamiliar with. Examples include arriving where I want, only ten to a hundred feet in the air. Or arriving and I'm halfway in the ground. Or I just explode immediately. Familiarity lessens the chance of these things happening, but still, ick.

Hold Monster: Hold Person but it works on everything. Finally.

Conjure Elemental: Lets me conjure a living body made of air, water, fire, or earth. I can only conjure one of each type during any one day and it remains until dispelled or destroyed. However, if I don't concentrate on controlling it, it will beat my ass. Awesome. I love getting to this level of magic and there's still bullshit like that. Thanks, Discord and Gary.

Telekinesis: For sixty minutes, I can move stuff with my mind. Weight limit goes up in conjunction with my power level. Fuck you, Honeysuckle, I can use myself as a sword now.

Transmute Rock to Mud: Over the course of ten minutes this spell turns earth, sand, and rock to mud. Not magic mud. Just mud. Could be funny for a prank or two.

Wall of Stone: Conjures a big ass, two-foot-thick wall of rocks that lasts until dispelled or destroyed.

Wall of Iron: See above, but it's thinner and made of metal. It also only lasts for one hundred twenty minutes. Pondering using this to block Honeysuckle's door for the full duration. And by pondering I mean, just did

Animate Dead: I consider myself an even-tempered man, not given to outbursts, and in control of my emotions. Therefore, I must proclaim that I reacted to finding this spell with reservation and tact, regardless of what anyone says. This spell lets me make zombies and skeletons. Obviously, I need bodies, but still. There is no max limit, but I can only animate so many at a time. There's no bullshit and they just do what I tell them. They last until dispelled or destroyed. I am the Dark Lord. Now I just have to find a reasonable supply of dead bodies that won't scare the ponies. Preferably ones that don't smell.

Magic Jar: I'm also a Lich. I can put my soul into an object, leaving my body behind, and can then jump from that object to another body to possess it. If the body I steal is killed, I just return to my 'jar.' As cool as the concept is, we skip this one cause there's a lot of catches. For instance, if the 'jar' is destroyed while I'm inside, I get 'annihilated.' Not killed. Annihilated. I don't want to find out what that means in practice.

Contact Higher Plane: Once per week, lets me seek the advice and knowledge of beings inhabiting higher planes of existence. There're apparently twelve planes of existence and the higher I dig, the more 'yes/no' questions I can ask. So, I could ask a being from the seventh plane of existence seven questions. However, the higher you dig, the higher the chance of immediately being driven insane. If that happens, I'm stuck in crazy mode for a number of weeks equal to the level of the plane I talked to.

Passwall: Lasts thirty minutes. Creates a hole in solid rock about ten or so feet long.

Cloudkill: Lasts sixty minutes or until strong wind or fucking trees dispel the cloud. In any case, creates a moving, poisonous vapor cloud. The book specifies the cloud is heavier than air, so it sinks instead of floats, but apparently maintains the shape it shows up in.

Feeblemind: A spell apparently only used against magic users that lasts until dispelled by magic. If they fail to resist, it zaps their brain and makes them stupid. Pretty funny.

Growth of Animals: Make animals giant-sized for one hundred twenty minutes.

Monster Summoning III: Stronger monsters, but only one or two of them depending on their strength.

Extension II: Same as the weaker version, but also applies to 4th level spells. Fuck yeah.

Intermission: The Sword Wizard

Goldflame maintained the same even glare he always wore as the purple stallion in the floral shirt across the table from where he sat roared with laughter. For a moment, he found some humor in the fact that the pony's squealing cackles were almost a pitch-perfect match to the cries of the seagulls swarming the coastline outside the private cabana they'd met in.

But he had no patience for humor. "Salt Spray," he said. The pony hacked a few more laughs before panting and waving a hoof.

"Okay! Okay, okay," he heaved and shook his head, wiping an eye, before shaking his head again. "Not okay. Give it to me again?" He fixed Goldflame with a mirthful smile that caused his eye to twitch.

"I would like you to offer Whole Grain financial assistance during-" Goldflame narrowed his eyes with a growl as Salt Spray fell into another laughing fit. "And by I, I of course mean we." Salt snorted and waved his hoof in response.

"You and your spooky secret society," he said with a sigh before signaling to one of the serving ponies waiting outside. As they approached with drink-laden trays, he fixed Goldflame with a smirk. "Listen old top, you've already got my vote and those of over half of the other families unless I'm mistaken." After letting Salt Spray retrieve his drink, Goldflame waved away the serving pony as they offered one to him.

"Why in the world do you care about getting Whole Grain back on his hooves?" Salt asked before slowly tipping back his glass and savoring its contents.

"Because the convention requires all of us to be present," Goldflame explained, looking off to the side and considering the bustling trade port a short walk away. A few sails were visible at the docks as well as dozens of wagons pulling into the port and journeying away. "The longer he is stuck scrambling to find funds the longer we must post-pone the convention." Salt Spray sighed warmly as he set his glass aside, before snapping a hoof at his guest.

"So let him take the aid from Canterlot!" He said with a curt laugh, causing Goldflame's eyes to snap back to him.

"If we do that, then she controls the flow of wealth and can potentially stifle him further," he retorted. Salt screwed up his face at the assertion before huffing a breath through his lips.

"Oy, oy, oy. Paying off his bill is a very large ask, chum," Salt Spray grumbled.

"And the rewards for answering my request will be great," Goldflame countered, drawing a snort from his host.

"You keep saying things like that," Salt Spray said, rolling his eyes. "But you know, I only agreed to this nonsense because of the respect I have for your family." He gestured to the port in the distance with a smile.

"I've certainly never had any issues with Celestia's government outside of the fact she's an outsider," his smile was then fixed upon Goldflame. "She's certainly kept my shipping lanes safe." Goldflame's eyes were cast down as he considered his words and for a brief period, only the waves and gulls could be heard.

"Well, what do you think about that Fremont creature or Blackbeard?" He finally asked, raising an eyebrow at Salt. "Will she keep you safe from them?" Salt jumped to his hooves and jabbed a hoof at Goldflame.

"Hah! Fremont is holed up in the north and nopony's seen Blackbeard since Canterlot!" He declared with a smug nod, that drew a quiet grunt from his guest. Salt stood up straight and brushed his chest with a hoof. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some fine gentlecolts from Mount Aris to treat with." He turned and began to trot toward the port. Goldflame sighed quietly before hopping out of his seat and slipping his sword back onto his hip.

"Hippogriffs, hm?" He pried once he came up beside Salt Spray, who beamed in response.

"Yes indeed! They harvest pearls from the ocean floor and-" He was cut off when a thunderous boom shook the air. Turning his attention toward the port, where the sound had come from, he blanched at the sight of a small building being hurled out into the sea. As the two stallions looked at the sight in wonder and horror, a cry rang up from the port.

"It's Blackbeard!" It declared, causing Salt's ears to snap back and him to slowly sink to his haunches.

"Bl- Wh-" He whimpered as the port erupted into chaos, as a myriad of creatures beyond the monster himself made themselves known. "Why?" He turned to look at Goldflame for guidance, only to find his guest striding toward the port alone.

"Look at these pearls! We're rich!" Sneaky gleefully squealed as she erupted from one of the large chests that were being hauled up onto the docks. Nettle, one of the diamond dogs carrying her laughed as she flopped back into the pile, giddily kicking her hooves as she sank almost out of sight.

"Yes, ma'am! Quite a haul!" Blackbeard cooed as he paced with his hands on his hips, surveying the docks and the port. All the local workers had fled, leaving only him, the creatures he'd brought along, and the hippogriff traders currently tied up before him—These he eyed with a toothy grin. "Though not half as valuable as what we really came here for."

Nearby, Yendrek perked up and nodded at the six moose he had been quietly speaking with, not counting Orgnar who was helping haul chests from the ships. Blackbeard considered the moose for a moment before bending down to one knee, to meet the head hippogriff at eye level. As he did, Blueleaf came trotting up, polishing one particularly large pearl he'd plucked from their collection.

The hippogriffs winced at the pair before their leader glared at Blackbeard. "What do you want, demon?" The pirate hummed a laugh before reaching out and clamping his hand atop the hippogriff's head, drawing an anxious grunt from him.

"Here is my proposal, my son," he began, gently jostling the poor creature. "You let us hitch a ride, in secret and undercover, on these lovely little tubs of yours so we can see that isolated, easily defended island of yours up close, and we'll let you lot live, eh?" The hippogriffs blanched at his suggestion, drawing a laugh from the villain.

"Who knows! We might just be able to offer some vital input on the future of the place while we're at it," he said, at which Blueleaf hummed with a nod.

"Yes, yes! Like turning it into the capital of our glorious republic!" The pony mused, causing Blackbeard to look at him in wonder.

"Hey, now there's an idea!" He said, raising an eyebrow and grinning wickedly at the hippogriffs. "Wonder where he got that from?" The hippogriff leader swallowed hard as the entire band of thieves now seemed to be eyeing him with sinister expressions. Except for the mare who was lounging in their stolen pearls, and the stallion who suddenly slipped into the circle of villains and fixed the pony beside Blackbeard with a glare.

"Blueleaf. Tu me dégoûtes," he said, causing the whole group to flinch and then look at him in shock.

"Un-" Blueleaf stammered, retreating from Goldflame's sudden appearance. "Uncle?"

"Uncle?" Blackbeard repeated, considering the new arrival with curiosity.

"Goldflame," one of the ponies in Blackbeard's company quailed. "The Sword Wizard."

"The dragon-slayer," another hissed.

"He's the one who led the attack on our home while you were away," one of the mooses whispered to Yendrek, drawing an angry growl from him.

"What's he doing here?" Sneaky squeaked, pulling the lid of the chest she was in almost entirely shut.

"He smell familiar," Nettle offered, his paw immediately drifting to the knife on his belt. "In very bad way." The entire ring of thieves watched Goldflame with a mix of dread and anger as he strode right up and stood before Blackbeard.

"You must be Blackbeard," he said, looking the crouching pirate over. "Salut." Blackbeard bore an even stare against him for a moment before narrowing his eyes.

"You seem somewhat familiar; have I threatened you before?" He offered.

"Non. Despite my profession, I try not to make a habit of meeting the same thug more than once," Goldflame responded, drawing a snort from Blackbeard. The two stared at each other for a few seconds before Goldflame spoke again. "Even if I had the time, I can't really say I care why you are here. I will instead comment that your presence here grants me an opportunity to make a point to a wayward associate of mine." He turned his body slightly, so that his sword side was away from Blackbeard, and lit up his horn, grasping his sword with his magic.

"To that end, I offer you the opportunity to leave here of your own accord. Or else, I will toss you out," he declared, causing Blackbeard to flinch and then lose his balance. "You and your little rout. C'est quoi?" Catching himself with one hand, Blackbeard considered the pony with his mouth slightly agape and thorough surprise written on his face. Then it all shifted to a grim mirth as he rose to his full height.

"Oh-hoh! Well, I'm just shaking," he chortled before bending forward at the hips toward Goldflame. "May I make a retort?" Instead of waiting for a response, he brought his right arm across his chest and then swept the back of his fist across Goldflame's jaw with all his might.

At least, that was the intention.

Instead, he stood for a moment with his arm stretched back following his swing and then slowly lowered it, while fixing Goldflame with a critical leer. The pony's sword was drawn, though he hadn't seen when it was pulled from its sheathe. To say nothing of the fact the pony hadn't seemed to dodge his attack at all, and wasn't, well, splattered by it.

There was also another problem. Blackbeard held his right arm up to inspect it, at which point the sleeve of his coat fell free, having been cut during his attack, revealing a bloody gash across his forearm that began dripping down off his elbow.

"That's a new one," Blackbeard mused as he clenched and unclenched his hand.

Three spear-wielding diamond dogs erupted from the ground around Goldflame, while a pair of paws burst up and grabbed his rear hooves, holding him in place. As the three armed dogs lunged at the pinned pony, he set his brow and weaved his sword around him in a rising spiral, catching the points of their spears and transfixing them above himself.

Before they could properly process what had happened, he yanked his sword down and raked it across the bellies of all three before snapping it down and thrusting it into the dirt. As the three spear-wielders dropped their weapons to clutch their wounds, the claws holding him in place tensed up for a moment before relaxing as the entire dog underground went limp.

Drawing his sword up and moving forward, he scanned the port around him, ignoring the countless dead and dying that now littered the street. Blackbeard was still missing after he'd used the brute's own might against him to hurl him into the sea. The sight of such a feat, alongside all the bloody cuts he'd managed to give the pirate, had demoralized at least half of the thieving band who were now fleeing for their lives off in the distance.

"Got you!" A griffin screamed as she sprang at him with a pair of long knives from under an abandoned shipping wagon.

Half but not all.

Taking a single step back and turning to face her, he leveled his sword and thrust it at her. The point met one of her knives straight on, allowing him to force the claw holding it back and spoiling her aim with the other knife. She squawked and tumbled in on herself, allowing him to sweep his sword down and back, opening her throat in one motion. As he spun around, searching for more challengers, he paused. From the three moose he'd felled before the rest fled, he spied one rising to his hooves.

The hulking specimen panted and winced as he nursed the puncture wound in his side, allowing Goldflame to get a better look at him.

"Ah, Yendrek, right?" He mused, drawing the beast's attention to him. "We missed you last time." He rested his sword on his shoulder and approached the injured moose, who huffed and spat at him.

"You murdered my daughter," Yendrek growled, at which Goldflame paused, tilting his head back in thought.

"Yes, I think I know who you are speaking of," he finally said with a nod. "Do you intend to apologize?" Yendrek recoiled at his question.

"What?" He huffed. Goldflame shrugged.

"It was your fault such a foul little thing came into being, after all," he said without a hint of malice. And before Yendrek could fully comprehend his words, Goldflame snapped forward. The moose tensed up and clenched his teeth before slowly slumping to the ground. Once he hit the dirt, Goldflame withdrew his sword from between the moose's eyes. Flicking the dirtied blade through the air a few times, he scanned his surroundings again.

As he did, he paused upon noticing a black tail sticking out from among the piled chests the brigands had abandoned just beside the sea. Raising an eyebrow he approached the pile and then kicked one aside, drawing a yelp of horror from his nephew, who curled up on his back and met his eyes with terror.

Wordlessly, Goldflame turned his blade in and leveled it at Blueleaf's throat, drawing a gasp from the younger stallion. "Uncle! Wait!" He quailed, waving his hooves but otherwise remaining frozen. "You wouldn't! We're family!"

"You say that like it means something," Goldflame replied before shooting his blade forward. Blueleaf's coat bristled and his face went paler than normal. But before the attack could hit home, the water just beside the pair burst up, spraying the pair. After recoiling, they both looked up and blanched at what they saw.

"Ah-hah, there it is," Blackbeard purred with a healthy degree of malice in his voice. He was halfway out of the water, leaning with one hand on the ground and the other balled on the tip of Goldflame's sword. "Got you figured out, Boy." Goldflame gritted his teeth and strained to pull his weapon free or push it through the villain's palm to no avail, at which Blackbeard tilted his head.

"Can't stab through? 'Course you can't," he chortled, slowly drawing himself out of the water completely, revealing his numerous cuts had already sealed themselves shut. "Not when the only reason you cut me is 'cause of how fast you're sawin' this blade back and forth. And you can't pull that motion off like this, can ye?" He laughed in a manner more wicked than Blueleaf had ever heard which, when coupled with the look of unease on his uncle's face, snapped the pony out of his fear-induced stupor.

"Sawing?" Blueleaf murmured. Blackbeard laughed and leaned on his knees, tensing his fingers and causing the sword to bend.

"Aye. Much like how a fella can't just cut a tree down in one go," he explained, circling a finger at Goldflame. "This little pony was sawing his little fencing toy across my skin faster than the eye can see. Sword-wizard, indeed!" With a curt laugh, he bent his wrist and Goldflame's sword shattered down to the hilt, causing him to lurch back with a shout.

Goldflame gritted his teeth and considered his ruined weapon before looking up at the looming pirate.

"So! Now that we've established that, shall we start again?" Blackbeard asked as he hurled the little bit of metal he still had aside. Goldflame recoiled and then retreated a few steps before glancing at the bodies he'd felled throughout the port.

"And will the two of you plunder this town all on your own?" He asked, fixing Blackbeard with a determined glare. "I'm certain Blueleaf would make an excellent pack mule, at least." Blackbeard frowned and tilted his head.

"What?" He huffed, before looking up and around. His jaw dropped, but as he considered the carnage he flinched upon seeing the last of his band retreating off in the distance. He threw his hands up with an oath. "Aw! Jaysus, how's a man supposed to pillage backed by a batch of ball-less belly-achers?" He shook his head at Blueleaf before turning back to Goldflame, pausing and then whirling around in search of the stallion who had disappeared completely.

"Where- Fie! C'mon, Blueleaf," he spat, scooping up his companion and one of their plundered chests before taking off after his gang. "Get back here you swabs! I got him on the ropes! Come back! Libertalia, damn it!"

As the pirate shrank away in the distance, Goldflame pulled himself up off the edge of the dock just enough to see if he was gone. Confirming he was, he hauled himself all the way up and sat before taking a deep breath.

"Enfoiré," he huffed. He looked all around himself at the decimation that had taken place and at the hippogriffs still sitting tied up not too far from where he was resting. Then his ear twitched at a very faint creaking sound from behind him and he turned just in time to see a chest click shut. Narrowing his eyes, he dragged the chest closer with his magic and threw it open.

"Ah, one of Blackbeard's," he mused upon locking eyes with Sneaky, who sat shivering with her legs tucked into herself. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "I wonder what stories you have to tell?"

Chapter 20

Pseudo held the squirming and bloodied pony firmly with one hand while twisting the severed timber wolf claw to his hoofless foreleg. Just behind him, Blackbeard tore his attention from the small clusters of injured and terrified creatures filling the valley around him to look at his mystic assistant's handiwork. He hummed in approval, drawing a long puff of smoke from his pipe as Pseudo traced his fingers around the seam where the claw met the pony's leg.

"So, you can stitch folks together, eh?" Blackbeard mused, raising an eyebrow as Pseudo released the pony, who anxiously examined his new claw before Pseudo urged him to stand. "No thread?" The pony stood up and trotted in a small circle, before raising and clutching his claw with a wince. He then nodded at Pseudo who returned the gesture and stood to meet Blackbeard's gaze before the pair moved to the next injured party

"It is an innate gift for my kind, though now likely a lost art. The first of my race was a purely elemental being and formed itself a body from rock and stone," he explained as they walked. "As our kind grew, we learned to manipulate the subtle bonds holding our forms together, and thus learned to make changes as we wished or needed." The pair reached a moose who sat with a vacant expression cast at some point many, many miles away and with a red bandage tightly wound across his side.

"At our height, other species would seek out our best mystics to have them heal or mend them," Pseudo added as he removed the bandage and began working his magic upon the deep gash cut into the moose's side. "Even unicorns who had their horns severed believed we could aid them." Blackbeard narrowed his eyes at the comment.

"Believed? So you couldn't?" He asked, leaning forward to meet the stunned moose's eyes. Pseudo clapped his hands before rising and moving to the next victim.

"Oh, we could. But a unicorn's horn is unlike a natural appendage, like that fellow's claw," he explained, gesturing to the pony he'd just mended who was now experimenting with his new appendage by grabbing and throwing a few stones. "A horn is calcified magic, in essence. If it is destroyed entirely, a new one must be made using material drawn from one who shares blood with the subject." He paused for a few moments, drawing a curious leer from Blackbeard.

"Otherwise, the protrusion will be purely decorative," Pseudo finally added before glancing back at the pirate. "You said you were assailed by Goldflame?" Blackbeard hissed a wisp of smoke through his teeth.

"Aye, that's what he called hisself," he groused, stomping up beside the prophet. "Blueleaf called him 'Uncle.' You know the name?"

"I am acquainted," Pseudo replied.

"How well?" Blackbeard pressed with a hum as he inhaled more smoke. "Well enough to know where the bastard might've slinked back to?"

"Canterlot most likely," Pseudo offered with a hand on the chin of his mask. Blackbeard grunted at the suggestion, drawing a nod from the prophet. "But I also know of a private villa his family keeps outside the city, near the northern Everfree."

"As fine a place to start as any," Blackbeard replied with a hearty sigh, before swinging his fist-clenched pipe at the rest of his followers who were too distraught or wounded to notice. "Whole crew's been bawling and squawking since that little jack rabbit got the drop on me. I aim to prove to them it was just a fluke."

"As you wish," Pseudo said with a nod before looking off toward the north. "I wonder how his daughter is doing?"

As I slowly drifted back to consciousness, I was immediately aware of something off. There was a weight on my chest. A warm, ball-shaped weight that was quietly breathing.

"Fuck's sake, Honeysuckle," I groused, wrestling my arms free of my blanket to grab my glasses.

"She's still asleep," the shape replied, causing me to pause. Looking down at my chest, I saw a blurry yellow figure looking back at me. Then, looking to my left, I saw a blurry white figure curled up a few feet away. As the gears in my head spun out, my glasses suddenly slipped onto my face, aided by a golden magical bubble. Slowly I looked up to see Sunset Shimmer sitting on my chest with a knowing smile aimed my way and one of my books hovering in front of her.

I froze at the sight, and in response, she returned to, as I assumed she had been previously, reading my book. "She's going to be out cold for a while," she said, turning a page. "I think she really needed the rest." As I swallowed, she snapped the book shut and smiled my way.

"Which gives us a chance to chat," she added, nodding back at the bathroom door. "In private." My eyes darted to the door and back to her before narrowing. I wrenched one of my hands free and pointed at her.

"Know this, creature," I hissed, causing her smile to vanish. I clutched my hand in a claw at her. "If you lay so much as a single hoof upon me, I will-" She carefully and deliberately extended a hoof and gently rested it upon my outstretched hand.

"Do what?" She asked, jutting her chin at me. I could feel that my face was frozen in the snarling scowl I was speaking with right up until she made contact. When my brain finally caught up, I cleared my throat, clamped my mouth shut, and gently gripped her hoof.

"Honk, honk," I said, giving it a squeeze before snapping my hand back under my blanket. She withdrew her hoof as well and fixed me with an unimpressed leer. Seconds later, she shut the bathroom door behind us as I scrambled and curled up away from her in the corner. "What do you want?" She eyed me carefully before smiling.

"I've never seen a creature quite like you before," she said before stepping just before me and sitting down. "So I decided to do some snooping among your followers." I shivered at the thought she was evidently skulking around the cult this whole time.

"You've got a talent for screwing things up, huh?" She said, nodding at me with a smile that caused me to curl up tighter. "I think I can appreciate that." A few seconds passed in silence.

"Huh?" I finally managed. Her smile widened as she looked me up and down before she gestured at me with her hoof.

"You just slid right in and screwed up Celestia's whole plan for the Crystal Empire, seemingly without even meaning to," she said with a nod. "I like that." A drawn frown worked its way onto my face and I tilted my head away from her.

"You do?" I asked, at which she nodded again with a curt laugh. "Why?"

"'Cause I've more or less decided to spend my days screwing up everything Celestia's trying to pull off," she said with a snort and a tone that suggested it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh," I brilliantly replied. I narrowed my eyes at the sight of her. Her smile seemed sincere and warm, so I decided to tread unsafe water. "Is that why she has such a huge reward out for you?" When I saw the warm light in her eyes vanish and get replaced by something dark and malicious, I tensed up.

"Kinda. It's also 'cause I know too much," she replied, still with a smile. Then she shrugged. "And I was born wrong."

Well, bitch, you ain't killed me yet, so-

"Man, I'm sorry, but uh," I cleared my throat and looked off to the side with a meager shrug. "It's not super often the answer to a question I asked answers nothing at all." Even looking away, I could feel her eyes locked onto me with an intensity that betrayed how fake that smile she was wearing was.

"You know what? Fine," she finally replied, scooting closer and leaning to forcibly meet my eyes. "I've learned plenty about you by hypnotizing your followers. I don't mind sharing some things about me." I audibly shuddered as she gently rested a hoof against my knee.

"As a sign of trust," she added with an absolutely bitter smile. I recoiled slightly and grunted.

"Trust. Right," I huffed with a nod. She purred a laugh before sitting up and sighing.

"I got picked out for my magical talent at a young age and was whisked off to the upper league of the School for Gifted Unicorns," she began, her bitterness and malice melting away into that genuine, warm energy she had moments ago. "I got to train under Celestia herself." She began to pace away from me.

"Yeah, I'd heard something like that from Honeysuckle," I murmured as I sat up.

"She gathered a whole bunch of little unicorn fillies and told each of us that we were special," she continued, seemingly ignoring my comment. Her eyes were cast down, but she still wore a smile. "She taught us all about magic and politics and junk, just like how she taught Cadenza." She paused once she was on her second lap pacing the bathroom.

"She practically raised a few of us," she said in a low tone before her smile vanished and her eyes narrowed. "But it wasn't 'cause she actually loved us or anything. It was all a scheme." She clenched her eyes shut and jerked her head to the side.

"She was looking for a very specific little filly who was related to some hoity-toity old mare from ages ago," she continued, enunciating her words with a snarky, venomous tone. "Some special little filly who had proper noble blood in her veins." She reared up and waved her hooves this time before she whirled around, stomped a hoof, and jabbed the other at me, causing me to flinch.

"And when she finally found her? Suddenly, the rest of us were given oh-so-convenient assignments to other parts of Equestria," she spat in an increasingly violent tone. When she continued she first spoke in a tone that seemed to be a mockery of how Celestia sounded. "'Where our talents would be most beneficial.' Yeah, and it definitely had nothing to do with giving her more time to dote on her new favorite." She snorted and shook her head. She stood there staring off to the side for a little bit, giving me time to find my courage again.

"Why'd she want-"

"To be her successor," she snapped in an even tone, still staring off. "She wanted to groom one of us to appreciate all the values of friendship and harmony and all the other crap she's so proud of so that Equestria would finally have a natural noble ruler who actually cared about the common pony." She finally turned to me with a weary, angry smile.

"Then there wouldn't even really be much the noble houses could do to interfere with all her plans for improving the quality of life for everypony," she sucked in a deep breath and heaved it back out. "Something like that, I guess." She suppressed a bitter laugh, almost flinching as she did so.

"Heck, she's even got this scheme for helping her little darling ascend to alicornhood," she added causing me to violently recoil. She nodded at my reaction. "That was the last straw for me." Before I could fully digest that Celestia had another super-duper pony in the works somewhere out there, Sunset growled and began pacing again.

"All the research and time and effort I spent learning about the transformation, just to find out she's practically engineering it for her golden girl," she growled, glancing at me as she continued stomping around. "I told her to her face how it made me feel. All of it." She paused for a moment and barked a laugh.

"I guess she panicked and thought I was planning to spill the beans on her plan to all the nobility," she stuck up her nose with another unhappy smile. "Hence the big bounty to have me restrained." The news of Celestia's up-and-coming superweapon had shaken my unease away for the moment.

"Why would it matter if they found out?" I asked, sitting up.

"I dunno. Maybe they'd try to have her golden girl killed before she became immortal?" She huffed with a shrug. I held my chin as I processed all of this.

"How'd you find all this out?" I idly pressed, mulling over if the Crystal Heart would be enough to defend me from whoever the new alicorn was. A noticeably long silence was my only answer. Looking up, I saw Sunset staring past me. Glancing back, I saw the rising sun through the bathroom window.

"I made her tell me. Explain it to me," she nearly whispered, drawing my attention back to her. She was still staring out the window, but God as my witness, there were tears in her eyes. "I finished up my special assignment way faster than she expected." She clenched her eyes with a giggle.

"I was really eager to impress her, you know? So I tried really hard," she added, pausing as her voice broke. Man, I just woke up. She stood there for a minute with her eyes shut before finally clearing her throat.

"I made it back and found another unicorn, just as skilled as the rest of us, but instead of being sent out to who-knows-where, she was right there at her side," she explained, huffing a sigh. "I might not have given it much thought if I hadn't seen Celestia's face." Her red, angry eyes opened halfway and she glared off to the side.

"She," her mouth worked for a moment before setting into a tight snarl. "She looked like she'd been caught cheating." The snarl overtook her entire face and she resumed pacing with angry little stomps.

"She tried to tell me that the special assignments weren't just a distraction. That they really were important," she shook her head. "But I didn't buy it. And even if it's true, I don't care." She glared over her shoulder at me.

"I gave everything to her. The best years of my life, spent trying to make her happy," she turned to face me fully, stomping up and enunciating her words by jabbing me in the chest. "And in exchange? I get passed up. Overshadowed. Ignored." I furrowed my brow as I held a hand to my chest.

"All for some ditzy, anti-social, less talented reject of a unicorn who happened to be born in the right family," she spat, shaking her head slowly. "Sparkles, Glimmers, Shimmers, Shines, and Flashes. All of us technically related to Evening Glint by some metric or other, but only one of us direct enough to appease some stuffy nobles." She stood with a firm glare fixed at the bathroom tiling, allowing me to rub my chin in thought. After a little while, she sighed and her expression softened.

"Anyway, I've been roaming around ever since, letting all my bitterness eat away at me. I almost got picked up by the Platinum Ponyhood at one point," she said with a laugh and a look of mild disbelief. "That was- That was kind of the point I realized I needed to do more than just wander and seethe, since even those guys were picking up I was ticked."

"Picked up by the what?" I asked, furrowing my brow. She waved her hoof at me.

"It's a bunch of old-fashioned unicorn extremists," she muttered, shaking her head. "I was angry, but I wasn't stupid enough to blame nonunicorns for everything bad that happened to me." A familiar malicious smile came to her features.

"But that doesn't mean the experience didn't give me a few ideas. Extreme ideas," she fixed me with a sinister leer. "I've been looking for a way to really screw up her plans and thought I might find something here that could do the trick, especially since getting Cadenza's fat ass on the crystal throne was another long-term scheme of hers." She turned to me fully and invaded my personal space, forcing me to retreat until my back pressed against the tub.

"And then I find you," she whispered, pinning her hooves to my shoulders. "And what do you do?" She tilted her head with a manic glint in her eye.

"You screw up her plans. Royally. Without even really trying," she leaned forward with her smile widening. "Then I do some skulking and asking around among your followers, and I find out that's pretty par for the course for you." Her eyes brightened as we touched noses.

"So, you know what I'm thinking?" She demanded with a way too eager tone.

"No?"

"I'm thinking we should be friends," she revealed, causing my frown to widen. "Best friends. So we can screw her plans up." She tilted her head to touch her horn to my forehead.

"Together."

"I don't-" Before I could retort, she hopped back with a humph.

"You're not so awful and twisted and evil that you'd reject a pretty mare's offer of friendship, are you?" She asked, fixing me with an incredulous leer. "Some creatures might react pretty poorly to such a brazen act." Her horn lit up briefly and I felt my skin heat up for an instant. Rather than humor her antics with a response, I sat with my uneasy frown fixed upon her. Eventually, she leaned in again.

"So?" She tilted her head one way and then the other. "Bud-dy?"

Risk assessment.

Sunset Shimmer: Wildly psychotic. Wildly powerful. Full scope of her abilities: unknown.

Pros: She fucking hates Celestia, not me. We can use that!

Cons: She's a redhead with outspoken and verbose homicidal tendencies rather than the usual subtextual.

Assessment: It's too early in the morning for this shit.

"Okay," I slowly replied. When her smile turned warm, I reached out and gently patted her shoulder at which she closed her eyes. "Buddy."

"Mm, don't touch."

"Okay."

Honeysuckle murmured and rolled her head into the soft pillow she'd claimed in the middle of the night. Her murmuring turned to a happy sigh as she stretched her legs out and craned her back, basking in what had been the best and only full night's sleep she'd had in ages. Smacking her lips, she slowly opened her eyes before glancing over her shoulder.

"Goobèr?" She called.

"Is that what you call Vic? That's pretty cute," Sunset replied, as she was sitting where Victor had been the night before, with one hoof under her chin and studying Honeysuckle with a reserved smile. Honeysuckle blinked and allowed a lingering silence to pass between the pair.

"Quoi?" She finally squeaked.

"That's cute, too," Sunset replied.

I strode down the hall, unaware of anyone I might've passed along the way as I was too engrossed in my spell book. I'd left Sunset alone with Honeysuckle so I could 'patrol the realm' as I'd put it. She'd agreed and settled into my bed, deciding to read my tomes to pass the time until I returned and we could begin scheming together, she said.

"Shield, obviously. Polymorph Other," I murmured as I hastily set up my arsenal. I grimaced as I remembered Sunset was probably a top-tier unicorn. "What are the chances she can resist Charm Monster?" Of course, this was all purely precautionary. I wasn't planning to tussle with the new crazy unicorn. The last one only uses her magic for swords and she took my hand. This one uses magic for magic things. I don't want to know what she can take from me.

My hope was Sunset wouldn't blame me for the fact my books were bound to me and so probably snapped right out of her grip as she was reading them. If she did, well some friend she was! And that's exactly how I'd put it to dissuade her from blowing me up.

The chances of it working were greater than zero, I was pretty sure.

"Hi, Mr. Fremont!" Came a chirp that managed to snap me out of my focus.

"Hey, Scuttle, we were looking for you," I said upon spotting the happy little bug-horse at my side. "I was going ask you to lie low since we were going to be releasing Rusty the Racist." She, I was pretty confident, waved a hoof.

"Oh, that's fine! I doubt he'll be stupid enough to try anything once he hears this!" She buzzed her wings and clapped her hooves. "Mr. Fremont, she's coming!"

"Who?" I tilted my head and she leaped up almost to my chest height.

"Queen Apterygota! I contacted the hive about everything that happened and she said she wants to meet you!" She cheered. I slowly blinked and raised my eyebrows.

"Huh?" I huffed, slowly nodding at her. She clapped her hooves again.

"The queen of my hive! She's on her way to meet you!" She explained. My eyes shifted around as I processed her announcement.

"Is that-" I cleared my throat as my voice broke. "Is that good?" Scuttle recoiled with a snort.

"Of course it's good. How could it not be good?" She replied, shaking her head. "She's the queen! She can't do anything wrong!"

"Oh, cool," I assessed with a sage nod, before bending down to pet her head. "Hey, go find Snowpea or Violence or Sash, okay?"

"Okay!" She chittered before scuttling away. Once she was out of sight, I stood up straight and dragged my hand down my face.

"Fremont!" Came a yell followed by a series of stomps. As my hand left my face, I adopted a severely unamused frown. Turning towards the voice's origin, I raised an eyebrow as Cadance came right up to me and jabbed a hoof. "My guards delivered the supplies we brought from Canterlot to your sheep assistant, as we agreed."

She narrowed her eyes and stood on the tips of her hooves to glare at me. "Where's. Shiny." I maintained my leer before cracking open my book.

"Yeah, I got your shiny, right here," I said, memorizing and rapidly casting Light right in her eyes. She recoiled and began frantically blinking before her ears snapped back. I pushed past her and marched back the way I'd come initially. "When you're done being blind, go talk to Sash." I spent the rest of my return trip muttering and grumbling to myself until I finally made it to my door.

Knocking twice and pushing it open, I leaned in with a sigh. "Hey, Sunset?" Then I blinked as Sunset beamed back at me, gently petting a tightly curled Honeysuckle right in front of her.

"Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques," Honey quietly sang with her body so tightly packed that her face was completely hidden. "Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?"

"What's up, Vic?" Sunset chirped. What the fuck is today?

At any rate, I stepped all the way inside and shut the door behind me. "Okay. You mind if I cash in on our friendship real quick?"

"How you mean?" She asked, tilting her head.

"What can you tell me about Queen Apterygota?" I asked, causing her to purse her lips in thought.

"Isn't that one of the Changeling Queens?" She asked back.

"Is it?" I huffed with a bewildered shrug. She nodded in response.

"Pretty sure. We learned about changeling society during Celestia's tutelage but we also got more details on the bigger names among changelings," she explained, tilting her head again. "Why?"

"She's on her way here," I groaned, locking my fingers behind my head as I paced the room.

"Why?"

"I dunno," I muttered before turning to her and fixing her with a hopeful smile. "I was hoping a clever little thing like you could give some ideas."

"Ding-ding-dong. Ding-ding-dong," Honey interjected, still tightly curled.

"Especially since my previous knowledge tap is currently stun-locked," I added. Sunset tapped her chin with her free hoof.

"Hm, Apterygota, Apterygota," she hummed and then nodded. "I know Chrysalis hates her."

"Is that good or bad?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at which Sunset shrugged.

"Neutral. Chrysalis hates all the other queens," she said, raising her hoof at me. "And before you ask, there's five in total, one for each hive." She gasped and jabbed her hoof at me.

"Oh! She must be coming for the Crystal Heart," she declared with a bright smile. "She could feed her hive for basically forever if she had access to it." I heaved a groan.

"Aw, c'mon! I just got that thing!" I yelled, throwing my hands up. "What do we do?"

"We count our blessings it's not Ecdysis or Apolysis," she snorted, offering an uneasy grimace. "The latter is by most estimates the oldest living changeling and manipulative as they come. The former won her throne by ripping out the throat of the previous queen." I blanched at which Sunset nodded and gnashed her teeth at me.

"With her teeth," she whispered before shrugging. "Allegedly." I fixed her with an unsettled frown for a moment before it turned angry.

"You know all this but can't tell me anything about the only relevant changeling?" I spat.

"Sorry, Buddy. She's careful and reclusive, so nopony really knows much about her," she replied before humming with a nod. "We did find out that she completely relocated her hive to a more remote region of the changeling-occupied badlands if that helps." I flinched and furrowed my brow.

"Wait, what? Why?"

"Near as we can tell it was to get away from the other hives," she sat up, removing her hoof from Honeysuckle who immediately tensed up and then rolled away. "So hey! Maybe she's a pacifist?" There was a gentle thud as Honey hit the floor and then rolled under the bed. We both pondered her retreat for a moment before Sunset spoke again.
"If not, I think you might be able to take her," she declared, sending my head spinning.

"What?" I gasped.

"What level are you?" She asked, tilting her head and flash-freezing my brain.

"What?" I squawked.

"I was reading your books while you slept and got a pretty good idea of how your magic works," she explained, holding a hoof out to me. "So yeah, what level are you?" I stood gazing at her in stunned astonishment. Amazingly, despite how gobsmacked she'd left me, I was reminded of my time in Canterlot's prison system when Twilight popped up and was able to interpret some of what my book said. Thinking on it, Sunset had mentioned getting passed up for another, less talented unicorn by Celestia.

Suddenly, a vast sum of things clicked into place and allowed my brain to start ticking again.

"Level nine," I finally replied, drawing an appreciative hum from her.

"A sorcerer, right? Nice," she mused rubbing her chin. Her head swayed to and fro before she winced. "So, eh. It'd be close. But, you won't be fighting her alone." I blinked as she stood up and approached the edge of the bed with a confident smile.

"If it comes to that," she added with a curt nod. "Break out your books and let's start going over some battle plans for how best to approach fighting a changeling queen." She leaned forward with a warm smile.

"Together." I stared at her in wonder for a few seconds before finally nodding.

"Sure."

Chapter 21

The pair of worker ponies scratched their heads as they considered the bare foundation where one of the port's shops had been before Blackbeard showed up. Sharing a look, they shrugged and one pulled a potted sapling out of their cart and set it down on the foundation. With a nod, they carried on appraising damages and repairing them as needed.

Despite the shock Blackbeard's attack had provided, the fact the port hadn't been completely destroyed and most of its residents had been unharmed meant complaints were fewer than might be expected. But fewer is still greater than zero.

"This humidity is ruining my mane!" Rarity complained with a whimper as she fanned herself. Applejack and the other Element bearers nodded in agreement.

"I hear ya. It's hotter than heck out here!" She huffed, wiping her brow. She looked around the port at the worker ponies. "Why'd that fella have to cause a ruckus down here?" Before anyone could provide insight, the door to the port's management office swung open and slammed against the exterior wall. Turning, they watched Twilight step outside with a scowl.

"Well, Darling, I can't say that expression gives me much hope," Rarity hummed, drawing a snort from Twilight.

"The port's owner is refusing to give me any more details than what he gave the guards," she explained.

"What? Why not?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head.

"Dunno, but I'd bet Goldflame has something to do with it," Twilight mused, rubbing her chin in thought. Rainbow was the first to respond and did so with a groan.

"Jeez, I get Discord can't just poof this guy away for whatever stupid reason," she griped before turning to Fluttershy. "But can't he at least poof us right to him?" Fluttershy gasped and shook her head.

"Oh! He couldn't do that today," she explained, adopting a small smile. "He said he had a very important interview to conduct now that he's retiring from being the Lord of Chaos." Rainbow rolled her eyes, but Twilight perked up.

"An interview? What, some kind of 'meta-cosmic bureaucracy' thing?" She asked. Fluttershy blinked and looked away for a moment.

"Uhm," she hummed and slowly nodded. "I think so! He just said it was important." Twilight wilted at the ambiguous answer before shaking her head.

"Good for him," she muttered before nodding at the girls. "Well, we at least already had an idea which way Blackbeard was going. Woulda been nice to know how many of his buddies were still in fighting shape, but oh well!"

"Thanks again for agreeing to this interview Mr. Discord!" Bally Hoo, the pegasus president of the Equestrian Economic Times newspaper chirped. Despite his crooked bow tie, greasy, slicked-back mane, and single golden tooth all giving him the appearance of a sleazy, used wagon salespony, the stallion was head of the premier source for breaking news in the world of print. He finished setting up his writing material on the table between himself and his interviewee who had also taken the liberty of teleporting their table into the middle of a lake, much to the astonishment of the Ponyville denizens on the shore.

"Oh-hoh, no, Mr. Bally Hoo! Please!" Discord chortled, wagging a paw at the journalist. "The pleasure is all mine! I just love the panic your headlines tend to induce." Bally smirked at the spirit.

"What can I say? I know how to capture the imagination," he said with a wink before grabbing a quill with his wing and dabbing it in ink. "But for now I'll settle with capturing your own words! So! The Discord is retiring, eh?"

"Yes! It is unfortunately true!" Discord said with a dramatic sigh as he draped an arm over his eyes. "I have seen the jingling keys used to keep the ignorant and immature masses complacent and welcomed the love of friendship into my heart!" Bally nodded vehemently as he wrote down everything the spirit said.

"You do have a way with words, Sir," he said with a hum before jabbing a hoof at Discord. "Was there a particular event or perhaps individual who assisted in spurring this sudden change of heart?"

"Oh, I'll never tell," Discord chortled with a claw to his chest before he fixed Bally with a sideways leer and nodded behind him. "He, however, is a notorious whistleblower." Bally raised an eyebrow and turned to see Discord, in a trenchcoat, looking left, then right before leaning down to whisper.

"It was Fluttershy," he said with a nod, drawing a bright smile from the reporter.

"Ah hah! One of the Elements?" He snapped his attention back to the first Discord with a malicious smirk. "Do you perhaps share the fears of some of our readers that the Equestrian State employs the Element's magic as a form of brainwashing to coerce and cultivate ideal behavior patterns?"

Discord adopted a wide frown and blinked at his question. "Do you readers really-?"

"They could," Bally offered.

"Then yes, it keeps me awake at night," Discord confirmed with a nod, drawing a wicked chortle from Bally as he frantically scribbled down a few things. His hoof shot up and pointed at Discord.

"On the topic of coercion, seeing as you're leaving the title behind, willingly or otherwise, what happens when a Lord of Chaos retires?" He asked as he continued writing down not only the spirit's words but his own spin and embellishment.

"A whole lot of bother, that's what!" Discord snorted, folding his arms as he spoke. "Literal mountains of paperwork handed to me in the middle of a cosmic, timeless void!" He paused and shuddered hard.

"And Winston made me do it all by claw!" He hissed before squinting with a shrug. "Of course, the retirement party was an absolute blast, but that barely made up for it."

"Vastly fascinating that even at the higher levels of conceptual and divine governance, some things stay the same," Bally replied finally satisfied with what he'd written and looking up at Discord. "But what happens to your office now?"
Discord tilted his head. "Pardon?"

"Office, title, whatever you want to call it!" Bally pressed, waving a hoof. "My question is will there be another Lord of Chaos to take your place?"

"I 'unno. As far as I know, I'm the only one that's ever existed, and I turned in all my credentials," Discord said with a shrug, before reaching into his chest and pulling out a wallet. Unfolding it revealed a picture of himself with a big red prohibitive stamp smashed on it. "I'm banned from transdimensional travel or meddling for the next two epochs, so it's not as if I can pop in and check what they're going to be doing."

"Interesting, interesting," Bally said as he considered the picture. He pursed his lips and leaned back with a raised eyebrow. "They say you're responsible for those two super-powered bipeds currently mucking things up across the country."

"Correct," Discord replied plainly, earning a smirk from Bally.

"And I'm sure our readers are dying to know," he chortled, jabbing a hoof at Discord. "Who'd win in a fight, Fremont or Blackbeard?" The spirit laughed.

"I 'unno! But it wouldn't end well for whatever postcode they duked it out in," he chirped.

"A solid assessment! Next question!" Bally replied with a wave of his hoof.

About an hour after learning that we were soon to receive a changeling queen, I sat with my quill waiting to jot down any spells Sunset named as she paced the floor of my room with my spell book and monster book. Her head snapped from one to the other as she processed the information each presented and filtered it through her own knowledge base. Behind the end of my comforter which was hanging off the edge of my bed, I could feel Honeysuckle's curled-up form pressed up against the back of my leg. She'd fallen back asleep after the scare Sunset gave her but had used her magic to keep my legs pinned, seemingly to prevent me from leaving the two alone again.

On my nightstand was a platter of donuts and coffee Sunset had demanded while she disappeared to collect something she said would be important. One donut with sprinkles on it was snatched up in her magic and pulled to her waiting maw as she nodded at my books.

"She'll definitely be too strong for any mind control type spells you've got right now," Sunset mused before taking a bite from her treat, drawing a nod from me as I began jotting down her thoughts. "In fact, the fewer 'save or suck' spells you prepare, the better." I jolted and looked at her in shock.

"How do you know that term?" I squawked. Rather than answer, she pulled back her cloak and levitated a glass ball to me.

"Now, I took the liberty of making this for you from a chunk of the palace," she said dropping the ball into my lap.

"Sick crystal ball," I whistled, looking it over.

"Thanks, Buddy," she replied mirthlessly as she continued studying. She nodded her head towards the ball. "Now, you can use this to read her thoughts if she starts a fight."

I blinked and looked up at her in surprise. "I can?"

"Clairaudience, remember?" She urged. When I didn't respond, she looked at me and discovered my bewildered face, which she countered with an annoyed leer. "C'mon, Vic."

"I dunno! I'm not trained in this shit!" I cried, throwing my hands up and then scrambling to catch the ball as it rolled.

"Okay, okay!" She said, holding up a hoof. She shook her head with a sigh before magically pouring herself some coffee. "Want to know something fun?"

"Lay it on me, sister," I retorted, grabbing a donut for myself. She took a sip with a strained sigh before nodding and shaking my spell book.

"I'm like ninety percent positive Polymorph Other can override a changeling's natural transformation magic," she explained before fixing me with a smile. "So! You can lock down her ability to shapeshift!" Her smile widened when I adopted a steadily widening frown.

"Fun, right?" She purred before holding up a hoof and shaking her head. "But I'm going to be honest, I don't think you'll be able to like, you know, turn her into something and keep her like that. I think it'll just keep her in her normal form, understand?" She gave me an expectant look, at which I slowly nodded.

"Friends are nice," I mused quietly, earning an earnest and happy nod.

"Aren't they?" She chirped, tilting her head before shooting me a critical glare. "You practiced Telekinesis at all?"

"No, why?" I asked, immediately regretting the question when she opted for a very tactile demonstration of the answer. By magicking my fingers and painfully spreading them.

"'Cause it lets you do things like this," she replied, returning her focus to my book. I blew hard through my lips and she released me, rubbing her chin with a hoof. "And at your level, you can apply a heck of a lot of force, too."

"Noted," I squeaked, clenching my aching hand into a fist and rubbing it against my lips. She blinked and considered me for a moment before blinking again and focusing on my book.

"Sorry," she said quietly. Her ear swiveled my way and she furrowed her brow. "Kind of-" She grunted.

"Kinda forgot a lot of sociability-type stuff since I've been on the road for so long," her eyes narrowed for just a brief moment before she looked back at me. "And alone. I didn't break anything did I?"

"No, I don't think so," I sighed, rubbing my hand with my other one. I raised an eyebrow at her. "We're gonna have to work on that." I blinked and looked down when a maintained snickering broke the silence.

"And I got to make friends with a magic lady who doesn't immediately try to cripple me," I said, yanking the comforter up to reveal Honeysuckle, who had a hoof clamped over her mouth as she chortled. "You wanna come say hi?" She flinched and looked up at me and then Sunset.

"Non! Non!" She cried, curling up and scooting further back. "Ne me tuez pas!" I smirked at her before looking up at Sunset who held a hoof to her snout as she snickered. Suddenly, the door to my room rattled as someone beat against it.

"Emperor Fremont, you may want to come outside sir," Ivory called. "The Crystal Heart's barrier has been triggered." Sunset and I shared a look before all three of us exited and followed Ivory outside.

The Heart was pulsing like it did when we first recovered it, a sight that gave some degree of comfort to the crowd of crystal ponies gathered on the plaza outside the palace. However, all eyes were skyward as the faint pink energy field the Heart generated was ignited and shimmering. Before I could ask, the entire thing vibrated for a moment.

"That's the fifth time," Ivory huffed as I scanned the barrier.

"What the hell was that?" I murmured.

"Yes! How do you care for that, you knave?" Sombra bellowed with a malignant cackle before leaning off the snowy cliff he was perched upon and jabbing a hoof at the barrier-encased city far in the distance. "Have another!" His horn crackled with dark power and a massive black crystal erupted from the cliffside before snapping off and sailing through the air at the city.

The second it made contact with the barrier however, it disintegrated harmlessly. Sombra hummed a laugh that gradually grew to a full and hearty guffawing fit before he sputtered and coughed a few times. Shaking his head and clearing his throat, he considered the unfazed city with an even frown for a few moments.

He smacked his lips and then squinted, holding a hoof over his eyes. "Is that-" Before he could ponder what he'd seen further, the snow behind him crunched and he whirled around. "Who goes there?" There, on the cliff with him was a hooded pony whose horn was visible and lit up, providing a small amount of illumination to the snowy vista.

"King Sombra, Ruler of the Crystal Empire, Master of the Dark Arts, and Shining Standard of Unicorn Supremacy," the newcomer greeted, bowing close to the ground. "It is an honor, my lord." Sombra nodded sagely in response to the fellow's words.

"Who dares address me with the appropriate degree of reverence?" He demanded. The stallion rose and held his hoof out, presenting a silver badge depicting a sharp triangle piercing through a feather and a leaf.

"I am a representative of the Platinum Ponyhood, a band of adherents seeking to restore Equestria to its once great state," he explained as Sombra considered the badge with a purse-lipped leer. "An era when unicorns reigned supreme and all other tribes cowered in humble subservience." The perceived implication of slavery caused Sombra to perk up.

"Verily? I can respect the ambition," he said with another sage nod before raising an eyebrow. "What does this have to do with me?" The visitor bowed and gestured to the city in the distance.

"My lord, you conquered the Crystal Empire and enslaved its lowly populace an age ago," he offered.

"Correct," Sombra replied.

"And though the ignorant princesses made no effort to understand your genius, we in the Ponyhood have firmly believed you did this for similar motives that we ourselves hold," the stallion continued, taking a step closer and bringing a hoof to his chest. "You saw the lowly state unity between the tribes brought Equestria to and were seeking to found a proper state for unicorns by unicorns." Sombra slowly squinted both eyes and raised his eyebrows. Blinking once, slowly, he looked off to the side and then the other.

"Yeeesss," he slowly replied before nodding just as slowly. "Yes, precisely that." The pony took another step and bowed his head.

"And for this reason, my lord, we welcome your return," he added and from his low stance he leered up at the dark unicorn. "We wish to discuss our plans with you." Still with his squinted expression, Sombra nodded.

"Elaborate," he urged. The pony beamed briefly before offering a hoof.

"My lord, why settle for just the Crystal Empire," he said gesturing to the city and then to the landscape beyond it. "When you could have all of Equestria?" A change overtook Sombra at that moment, as his eyes went wide and sparkled. He held his surprised expression for a few moments, to the concern of the hooded pony, before he relaxed into a smug, smirking leer.

"You son of a harlot, I am interested," he finally declared.

"Looks like it's over," I murmured, scanning the barrier above with a hand over my eyes. Humming, I turned to face Ivory, Sunset, and Honeysuckle, the latter of whom was standing with Ivory between her and Sunset. "Maybe we should round up some volunteers and go-"

"Mr. Fremont!" Scuttle chirped as she suddenly popped up behind me, causing me to jump out of my skin.

"Jesus!" I cried, whirling around to glare at her as she beamed up at me.

"She's here!" She squealed, frantically prancing in place. I heard Sunset hiss behind me as my heart skipped a beat.

"How?" I murmured, as my skin tingled from a rapidly developing cold sweat.

"Magic!" She chirped, still prancing.

"As a wizard, I call bullshit," I snarled, slowly dragging my hands up and locking them on top of my head. "I haven't had time to-" A gasp from the crowd drew my attention upward. As soon as I looked up, the plaza was filled with buzzing and a half-dozen armored changelings with yellow highlights like Scuttle were swarming toward the palace.

At their head, trotting along the road with her head held high and an even look on her face, was a tall alicorn changeling with a mess of yellow, faintly glowing hair that looked almost like lichen or moss which was long enough to wrap around her shoulders almost like a shawl and was fixed into two thick braids. Atop her head just behind her crooked horn was a little black crown with tiny golden beads on each point. As it matched the rest of her chitin's shade, I wasn't sure if it was natural or not.

As the crystal crowd parted nervously for her, she approached me directly, standing a few feet away before looking me up and down.

"I am Queen Apterygota," she greeted in a buzzing voice. "And I have come to treat with you, Emperor Fremont." I furrowed my brow and considered the swarm of changelings that landed and lined up behind her. Scuttle beamed up a her queen and then back at me, but I folded my arms as a few dots suddenly connected and more importantly, a plan formed.

"Why were you banging on my bubble?" I demanded, causing the queen to blink and tilt her head.

"Pardon?" She murmured, at which I rolled my eyes and drew my books.

"Someone was banging on my bubble," I explained as I scanned for Polymorph Other and locked it in. "Then you walk in." To my relief, she began stammering and sputtering, giving me time to find a few more spells as I pretended like I was waiting for an explanation. Out of the corner of my eye, Sunset beamed for just an instant before stepping right beside me and glaring at the queen.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about," Apterygota murmured, holding up a hoof. "Genuinely, it wasn't us. I ordered my changelings to stay close to me as we entered your city." I raised an eyebrow and pursed my lips as I locked in a few of the classics like Magic Missile and Shield.

"Perhaps your Crystal Heart simply reacted to our arrival?" The queen offered looking around nervously as Sunset narrowed her eyes.

"Perhaps," I replied.

"Emperor Fremont, what is going on?" Ivory suddenly asked, drawing my attention to him and then the rest of the crowd who were looking at me nervously. I nodded my head towards Scuttle.

"Our guest contacted her queen, who then invited herself to come speak with me," I explained loud enough for all to hear. "I'm very sorry, Senator, but I genuinely didn't have time to alert anyone." Ivory's jaw hung open slightly as he considered the changelings and their queen. Apterygota blinked at my words before her ears shot back and she averted her eyes.

"Ah," she murmured, slowly nodding. "I see. I beg your pardon, Emperor." I looked at her for a moment as she brought a hoof to her chest.

"Circumstances being what they are, I-" She paused and nodded again. "Acted with more haste than is fit. Your suspicions make sense now. I beg your pardon again." I snapped my book shut and shared a look with Sunset who wagged her eyebrows for a near imperceptible moment.

"What circumstances are those?" I asked as I turned back to the queen.

It occurred to me as Apterygota stood before my throne that I'd yet to actually hold a royal audience or whatever it's called, where I'm on my big, cool-ass crystal throne and people bring their wants or whatever before me. Some of the more influential members of the Children of Change were gathered as well, forming with Senator Ivory and Sash a sort of privy council to the events unfolding before us.

I got so lost in appreciation of the moment that Sash, who was standing beside me, noticed and gently smacked my hand on my armrest. Blinking, I straightened up and returned my focus to the queen. Honeysuckle, who stood on the opposite side of my throne snorted at me.

Sunset had teleported away just before the meeting began, claiming she had forgotten something important.

"All my life I have sought only one thing: The security and longevity of the hive in which I was born," she explained, bringing her hoof to her chest and fixing me with a sincere and firm look. "I have strived to ensure we are guarded against all outside threats and have sought the means to provide my changelings with the love they need to survive." Her expression soured and she looked off to the side.

"In recent years, both of these tasks have been thwarted thanks to the actions of my rival queens," she added before hissing quietly. "Especially Chrysalis." I raised an eyebrow as she turned back to me.

"When I learned of the foolishness she sought to accomplish by attacking Canterlot, I recalled all my changelings who had hidden within Equestria," she said, shaking her head with a dour look in her eyes. "Her failure was anticipated, but even had she succeeded the land would become desolate and drained of all love." She took a shallow breath and nodded at me.

"And as she has failed, I do not wish to run afoul of whatever measures the Equestrians have taken to avoid another changeling incursion," she hung her head and looked back at the small group of changelings standing to one side of the room. "As a result of all this, we were forced to sustain ourselves on our love stores, which would be drained by year's end." I nodded and considered the changelings as well, especially Scuttle who waved at me.

"And so you sent out Scuttle and presumably others to find a new source of food," I said at which Apterygota scrunched her muzzle.

"Uh, no, actually," she said in a strained tone, fixing Scuttle with an incredulous leer. "She ran off on her own after I told her not to." I blinked and glanced at Scuttle again, who now stuck her nose up with a proud smile and brushed off her chest with a hoof.

"But now I'm glad she disobeyed, for she has inadvertently found what we needed; Love, in an endless supply, sourced from that magical artifact fueling this city," Apterygota said before fixing me with a warm smile and half-lidded eyes. "And more importantly, what we need is currently in the keeping of an intelligent, rational, and competent creature, such as yourself." I furrowed my brow and adopted a tight frown as she took a few steps closer with a hoof to her chest.

"Emperor Fremont, I beseech thee," she added, bowing her head. "Permit my hive to integrate into your empire and you shall have my eternal gratitude." I tilted my head back and raised a finger, opening my mouth to speak when the throne room door suddenly slammed open.

"Absolutely not!" Candycorn screamed as she stomped in and pushed past the changeling queen, who recoiled in shock. Cadance shot a venomous glare my way. "And how dare you hold a meeting concerning the future of-"

"Polymorph Other," I said, leveling my finger at her and shooting her with my spell. A double helix-shaped beam of light drilled through the air and struck her dead on, coiling around and through her before shivering and then dispersing in a burst of pink light. Cadance's eye twitched as I frowned at the fact she'd evidently resisted my spell.

"Did you just try to turn me into a toad?" She asked in a low, caustic tone. I slowly brought my hand up and gently swept it at her.

"Restrain the hysterical unicorn princess," I ordered, causing my cultists to share a nervous look before slowly surrounding her.

"Hey!" She barked as she looked around at them.

"Now, what's your problem?" I demanded with a sigh. She clenched her teeth at me.

"She's a-" I held up a hand, cutting her off.

"If your complaint is she's a changeling I'm gonna flashbang you again," I said causing her to choke and then clamp her mouth shut with a thoughtful frown. I then pointed just behind Apterygota. "And if he doesn't stand down I'm gonna turn him into a toad." Everyone turned and saw Shining Armor, in full dorky armor, looming behind Apterygota with a spear hooked under each hoof and a third clamped in his mouth. When he saw everyone was looking he blushed and dropped his weapons before clearing his throat.

Cadance groaned and glared at me. "You-"

"What is happening?" Apterygota murmured, looking up at me.

"Racism," I replied.

"No!" Cadance argued.

"Yeah," I contested. Apterygota considered the prince and princess for a moment before gasping.

"You're Princess Cadance," she murmured, recoiling as the princess turned to her with a, to my frustration, softer glare. "I- I did not realize you were here." The queen turned to face Shining Armor and her at the same time.

"Please, you must believe me. I do not seek to do any harm," she said, bowing her head at them. "I only wish to provide for my hive." The pair shared a look.

"Chrysalis wanted something similar," Shining said with a humph. Apterygota let out an annoyed snort.

"So she claims," she replied, rolling her eyes before adopting a soft frown. "But do you really believe she actually cares about her hivemates?"

"I 'unno, maybe?" Cadance groused.

"I don't either, but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt," I declared, rolling a hand at the queen. "At least on that particular topic. I haven't decided on your request, however." Cadance shot me another glare as the queen nodded my way.

"I understand. Is there any way I can convince you?" She asked, tilting her head. I reclined in my seat with a hum.

"I think-" Before I could answer fully, the sound of hoofs galloping toward me drew my attention forward. Sugarplum shot through the open door and passed everyone else before darting up to my throne and hiding behind my legs where she curled up in a tight, quivering ball. I leaned forward to look down at her with everyone else. "Sugarplum? What's wrong?"

"E'nin' folks," came a voice with a thick southern drawl. Looking up, I saw a tall, bulky guy in a heavy black coat, a metal mask, and a wide-brimmed hat. He slowly stalked into the room, his feet making heavy thumps with every step. "Hope I ain't interruptin' nothing proper and detrimental."

"Who are you?" I demanded with a furrowed brow.

"Call me Double," he replied. Apterygota stepped out of his way as he took her place in the center of the room. Cadance and Shining shared a look as the cultists murmured amongst each other. The changeling queen retreated all the way to her armored unit which formed a defensive line between him and her.

"Okay, Double. The fuck do you want?" I demanded again, leaning forward more to hide Sugarplum from him. Honeysuckle gasped quietly.

"You're-" She murmured before recoiling as Double jabbed a claw at her. I winced at the crooked, spiny nature of his hand.

"That one there," he said without actually looking at her. "Her daddy needs her home right quick." I recoiled and looked at her for a moment before sweeping my hand at her.

"Okay, well, see you later, Honeysuckle," I huffed, causing her to choke.

"What? Non!" She screamed, whirling around to rear up on my chair. "I refuse!" She leaned close and whispered through clenched teeth.

"Victor, that is Bad Teeth. I'm sure of it!" She hissed.

"Huh?" I quietly gasped before considering the guy and Sugarplum's trembling form. I pursed my lips with a nod and reclined, preparing to blast the guy. "Welp, sorry, Double. I think she's busy tonight."

"I ain't asked you that," he retorted, grabbing what must've been his belt through his coat and adjusting his unseen pants.

"And I ain't considered your stance on the issue," I spat, waving a hand at him. "Get lost before I let the candy-colored alicorn unleash her racist husband upon you."

"Hey!" Cadance cried. Double fell into a controlled, yelping fit of laughter.

"Oh, that's a mighty awful threat, right there!" He squeaked before leaning forward at the hips. "Allow me to retort." Seemingly, I'd grown either sharp enough, reflexive enough, or just antsy enough that when something just wrong is visible to me, I can throw my Shield up mostly on reflex. I think this because my vision was suddenly obscured by Bad Teeth snapping right up to me. He hurled his claw forward and it slammed against my Shield with a resounding thud.

I jumped hard enough that my glasses flew off, before tensing up and gasping as he tilted his head to look me up and down. "Holy shit," I heaved. Then, we locked eyes. I didn't even have time to consider why his were glowing red.

"He's been petrified!" Sash screamed as the monster withdrew his claw and considered the human encased in stone. As the throne room fell into a panic, Apterygota stamped a hoof.

"Dang! Welp, who's next in line for the throne?" She huffed, looking around and then fixing Cadance with a wide, hopeful smile. "We can still work something out, right?" The alicorn blinked at the changeling before a series of cries drew her attention back to the throne.

"Somewooly stop him!" Sash yelled as Double locked a claw around Honeysuckle's neck. The unicorn kicked and heaved and lit up her horn before Double snapped his free hand out and clamped a dampening ring upon it.

"Hey! Put her down!" Cadance yelled, pushing passed the terrified cultists and jabbing a hoof at Victor. "You can keep the ugly lawn gnome, but she didn't do anything!"

"Never said she did," Double chortled as he fixed the struggling unicorn under his arm. His coat shifted and he reached inside it before drawing a very well-crafted sword. "But her daddy needs her back and is paying pretty well to get her." Honeysuckle strained and gasped when she saw the sword.

"Give me that!" She screamed, reaching for the sword.

"Hush up," Double demanded. He bent his free arm and a quill shot out of his elbow, through his sleeve, and stuck in Honeysuckle's side. The unicorn squealed and then shivered before going limp. As Cadance recoiled and then took a step closer, Double's coat suddenly shifted again and a pair of long branch-like appendages burst out the back before unfolding into a pair of huge bat-like wings.

Cadance spread her own wings in response before another set of hooves hitting the floor cut through the tension of the room.

"Hey, what'd I miss?" Sunset asked with her mouth full as she trotted into the room with a platter of donuts. She blinked and considered the whole scene before leaning to the side to get a better look at the petrified wizard. Wiping her mouth with a hoof she pointed at each individual as she named them. "Okay, so did the new guy petrify Vic, did the queen petrify Vic, or did Cadenza petrify Vic?"

"Sunset Shimmer?" Cadance gasped, blinking and shaking her head as her wings drooped. Seeing her visible distress, Shining trotted up beside her and began gently petting her back. "I'm so- I'm so mad? Why is she- Here?"

"Probably Fremont's fault," Shining whispered.

"Yeah," Cadance desperately huffed, slowly sinking to a sitting position and shaking her head. "I just wanted to be the Princess of the Crystal Place, Shiny."

"I know. I know," he replied. Sunset ignored the pair as she looked Double up and down.

"You seem familiar, have I robbed you before or something?" She asked, tilting her head. Double recoiled slightly as his wings drooped before he chuckled.

"You're Celestia's old pupil, ain't ya?" He hummed, tilting his head as another long quill slowly extended from his elbow. "The one worth all that cash?" Sunset tilted her head back and forth a few times before gasping.

"Oh wait! I know you!" She chirped, pointing a hoof at him and carefully setting the donut platter down. "You're number ninety-nine! From Dr. Plum's stock!" Double went still at her words.

Sunset pursed her lips as she considered the monster. "I thought you got relocated to a preserve for rare and endangered animals after F.R.O.W.N cleared his mansion?"

"Got loose," Double replied in a dire tone.

"Neat," Sunset chirped, wagging her eyebrows. A silence fell between the two for a few moments. "You gonna depetrify Vic?"

"Reckon I'm not," Double replied. "Reckon I might eat your face instead." Sunset gasped, bringing a hoof to her mouth.

"Oh no! Don't do that," she cried in a sarcastic tone, throwing her head back with her hoof over her eyes. "I beg you! Be gentle." Everyone jolted when Double's coat began rattling. Turning they saw the monster was shivering violently with his head bent forward and his claw clutched as if he was in pain. Double brought his claw to his head and panted before leveling a glare at Sunset who retorted with a smirk.

The monster hissed before spreading his wings and, in a single beat, shot into the air and through one of the crystal windows. The room stared at the window he'd flown through for a few moments before turning to Sunset who hummed a curt laugh and then picked up the platter with her magic.

"Anyhoo, I brought the donuts!" She chirped, presenting the tray.

Author's Note

Sorry for the lengthy delay despite the copious free time I've had during December, I've just had too much fun writing Cutter.

Chapter 22

All of my joints were tingling, like when it's really cold out and it seeps into your bones. As a result, I sat on my throne, clenching and unclenching my toes and fingers as I rubbed my arms against each other. Huffing, I considered the pony lying on her back on my lap with a self-satisfied grin she'd earned after magicking me out of my stony prison.

Fuck you, Discord. Your bitch-ass needed like a whole sixty-step plan to get free. My bitch-ass just needed a semi-psycho redhead to get free.

Tautology.

"Hey, Buddy?" I said.

"Yeah, Buddy?" She hummed.

"I appreciate you, you know that?" I huffed.

"Aw, thanks!" She purred. At that moment, Apterygota cleared her throat, drawing my attention to the throne room. As I'd only been stuck for a minute or two, it was largely the same as when I'd last seen it with only Honeysuckle being missing and Sugarplum nestled up against my leg.

"So! Now that Emperor Fremont has been released, may we continue negotiations?" The changeling queen asked with a toothy and hopeful smile shot my way.

"You were ready to cozy up with Cadenza!" Sash yelled, jabbing a damning hoof her way. She recoiled and her eyes darted side to side.

"Well excuse me for being so practical and adaptive! I thought the emperor was dead!" She gasped before fixing me with a nervous smile.

"Have you no shame?" Sash grunted, shaking his head.

"Have you no mind your own business?" She spat.

"Hey!" I yelled causing them both to flinch and turn to me. I looked over the whole gathering with a furrowed brow. "We just had a freak break in and turn me to stone. I think that takes precedence over a lot of other shit." Cadance snorted a giggle at my words while Sunset waved a hoof.

"That was just number ninety-nine," she scoffed. "He's easy to scare off."

"He's who?" I pressed.

"Number ninety-nine, from Dr. Plum's stock," she pressed back. Shining hummed and rubbed his chin at her assertion.

"You said that earlier before you scared him off," he murmured before sharing a look with his wife. "I guess if that's true that confirms all the rumors about Plum."

"Who's Plum?" I asked, looking around and seeing some of my cult, including Sash, as well as Cadance all seemed unsettled by the name.

"Dr. Plum was a unicorn who specialized in genetic junk," Sunset explained as she began batting at the hem of my robe with her hoof. "He cultivated molds and plants that became the foundations for healing salve and other miracle cures." I hummed as I gave her my full attention.

"But once he started getting more funding, he embezzled a lot of it into a series of private compounds which were guarded by private security," she continued with a shrug. "Nothing wrong with owning property, but he turned around and converted his compounds into secret labs where he could experiment without supervision." I blinked at her explanation and looked up when she gestured to the window Double had flown through while I was petrified.

"That weirdo was one of his experiments," she added. "He spliced the genes of a whole mess of creatures and grew monsters like that in big vats. Most of them died really quick, but a couple survived, obviously." I exhaled hard at her words, dragging my hand over the back of my head.

"Honeysuckle mentioned something like that," I murmured. "Him being a kidnapped diamond dog or something." Sugarplum squeaked and huddled closer to me, so I reached down and gently scratched between her ears.

"Nope! He's completely homegrown!" Sunset chirped, stretching out before curling up. "He also has the features of dozens of monsters, like the cockatrice, which is how he turned you to stone."

"What features let him move so fucking fast?" I snorted earning a grim smile from her.

"Necrotic tissue stolen from the graves of some of the fastest pegasi in Equestrian military records," she said, earning a grunt of discomfort from Cadance. "Plus the wings of a dragon." She gasped and shot a hoof up.

"Oh! He can also breathe fire, and like what he did to Funnysuckle, he's got spines to deliver toxins produced in glands all over his body," she declared, but Double's features took second place to something else she'd said.

"What'd you call her?" I gasped, fixing her with a bewildered leer.

"What? She's funny," she said with a shrug before crooking her hoof and pursing her lips, then speaking in an outrageous accent. "Hon hon hon baguette and all that." I found myself heaving as I struggled to hold back my laughter. Unhinged or not, that just cinched her as a friend for life.

"How'd you scare him off like that?" Sugarplum asked as she suddenly reared up on the arm of my throne. Sunset considered her for a moment before smiling.

"According to the investigators and the handlers who cared for him after the raid, back when he was being cultivated in Dr. Plum's Canterlot compound, the second he was sentient enough to feel pain, the doctor began reassuring him before every experiment," she explained, her words taking on a grim tone that visibly unsettled Sugarplum. "He promised him he was going to be gentle." Having recovered from my fit, I huffed hard at the implications of what she was saying.

"So, predictably, due to how bad Plum treated his creations, he associates that word with the trauma he endured," she added, causing Sugarplum to wilt slightly before she blinked and scowled. Sunset nodded up at me. "Pretty messed up, right? Anyway, that's part of why Celestia wound up declaring Plum a category five and sent F.R.O.W.N to clear his compound and kill him." I blanched and looked at her in shock.

"She had him killed?" I asked in utter amazement.

"Tried to, but he escaped," she said before tilting her head at me. "You don't know about F.R.O.W.N?" I furrowed my brow and shook my head.

"I've never even heard of that," Shining replied, sharing a look with an equally confused Cadance. "Are they associated with S.M.I.L.E?"

"Yep, though even S.M.I.L.E doesn't know about them. Instead of tracking, capturing, or destroying monsters, they deal with individuals," Sunset explained, gently kicking her rear hooves against the arm of my seat. "The name stands for 'foul reconnaissance operations when needed' and they only get deployed to deal with more mundane villains. They've clashed with the Platinum Ponyhood a few times and they tried to arrest me a few months ago when I was helping this cultist chick up in the mountains get set up." While there was a lot to unpack with what she'd just revealed, I found myself rushing back to a time before I'd ever come here.

Back to when the silly pony show was just a silly pony show. A cartoon. As a result, I clamped my hands over my eyes and threw my head back with clenched teeth.

"I- I fuckin' hate-" I strained as I dragged my hands down and rubbed my eyes. "You guys literally have a stupid pony C.I.A division named 'Frown and Smile?'" I sat there, pulling my hands down and staring at the ceiling for a few moments as everyone looked at me in confusion.

"So yeah, enemies of the public who present a very real threat to the long-term stability of the country get F.R.O.W.N dropped on them," Sunset finally added, returning her attention to the others.

"And yet so many of the upper class run rampant, trampling the rights of the average citizen," Sash huffed, shaking his head. "So a fat lot of good they do, hm?"

"I know, right?" Sunset snickered. "Pretty sure she thinks if she just starts killing noble ponies left and right it'd lead to worse results in the long term, but who cares about that?" I was still reeling and seething about the pony C.I.A, but Sugarplum yanked on my sleeve and snapped me out of it.

"Victor?" She murmured with a sorrowful look on her face. "I- I know you don't like Ms. Honeysuckle, but he took her." Her ears snapped back and she shook her head.

"He can't be planning anything good with her," she added with a whimper. "Can we-" I screwed up my face with a grunt.

"Yeah, you're right on all accounts," I said, rubbing my eyes again. "I don't like her and he's got nothing wholesome planned." I hummed a sigh as I sat in thought for a moment. Eventually, I nodded.

"He mentioned her dad," I murmured before pointing at Sash. "Sash, go find Violence or Snowpea. They might know where the guy lives." He nodded and trotted off to do as I asked, so I turned to Apterygota.

"You asked what you could do to convince me you were genuine or whatever, right?" I asked, causing her to blink.

"Yes," she said slowly before tilting her head. "May I presume-"

"Gimme a hand with this and I'll consider us square," I confirmed with a nod. "Deal?" She beamed before bowing low.
"Thank you, Emperor Fremont," she declared. Cadance fell into a predictable sputtering fit.

"You don't have-" Before she could cry more, I pointed at her and yelled.

"Aw! You guys hear that?" I said, drawing everyone's attention. "Celestia's niece doesn't want to rescue a kidnapping victim!" The cultists and Ivory all gasped.

"Scandalous," Sunset purred.

"For shame," Ivory spat. Cadance's jaw dropped as she looked around before settling on me with a scowl.

"I hate you with all my heart," she growled.

"Yeah, join the club," I huffed, waving a hand.

Her entire body ached but the point where that monster's quill had stabbed her hurt worst of all. It seemed to be the point from which all the dull pain that wracked her body originated and she thanked Celestia when she could finally move enough to massage her side. As she slowly recovered and her head stopped spinning, she realized to her horror that she was back in her old room.

In Canterlot.

Honeysuckle rolled to her hooves and then flopped over from the motion. "Merde," she huffed, straining to stand up again. "Come on." With a mighty exhale, she stood up straight and then blinked as she panted. Then her door swung open and she tumbled over again. Looking up with muted horror, she watched her father trot in with a pitcher of water which he set down right in front of her.

"Drink," he demanded, his tone and expression full of disdain. She wilted at his gaze before considering the pitcher. "That wretched thing who calls himself Double overloaded your body with toxins to disable you, and this will help purge them entirely." She grimaced before taking the pitcher in her magic and drinking. She groaned and reflexively raised her foreleg as her side tingled in response. Goldflame nodded at the sight.

"Good. You have a wedding to attend, after all, so we can't have you disoriented," he declared causing her to sputter and cough as she dropped the pitcher. Gasping, she looked up at him in shock and he nodded. "To Prince Blueblood. We made the arrangements while you were-"

"Non! I will not!" She yelled with as much fury as she could muster in the face of her father.

"You will," he shot back, as the fury she mustered still didn't amount to much. She wilted for a moment before struggling to her hooves and glaring at him.

"I won't! I'm not some doll or bartering chip for you to play with!" She spat.

"That's all you've ever been," he said evenly without a hint of contempt.

"Maybe to you! But I don't live under your roof anymore!" She jabbed. "I joined the Royal Guard and escaped!"

"And yet here you are," he hummed. She hesitated before snarling her teeth.

"And I'd rather die than stay," she hissed. A tense silence followed as the two stared each other down. During that time, Goldflame's one visible eye burned a hole clear to Honeysuckle's soul. But when she still didn't falter, he huffed.

"Bonté divine, but where is this courage coming from?" He wondered, shaking his head. "You weren't this bold before you fled Canterlot with Fremont."

"That's because I heard what you planned to do with me," she hissed before recoiling with a grunt. "Marrying Blueblood!" She looked off to the side with visible disgust before glaring at him.

"That was the final straw for me," she declared, taking a daring step towards him. "I won't let myself be used by you." She shook her bangs out of the way fixed him with a furious glare and jabbed a hoof into his chest.

"I am a warrior, like my mother," she spat, craning up to his face. "Not your plaything." Another heated silence fell between the two. Finally, Goldflame tilted his head forward to look her right in the eyes.

"I lied," I said cooly. Honeysuckle flinched for just a moment and he nodded.

"When you were a filly and asked me if a filly could join the guard, I panicked. I saw the light in your eyes when you spoke of those armored buffoons, and I knew what you were dreaming of," he said, his tone even and low. "I couldn't allow you to slip free of my grasp, and so I made a mistake." He took a step toward her, forcing her to retreat.

"I told you your mother worked with the guard and was killed during a vicious battle with some outlaws," he said, his unblinking eye locked on hers even as her bangs fell back into place. "I hoped that finally hearing the story of how your mother died would rattle you and quash that silly idea utterly." Her rear ran up against the wall as he finally cornered her.

"It emboldened you," he hissed, his tone unchanging, his eye unblinking. "So, I did the next best thing. I tried to break you. Tried to make you give it up, by force." He tilted his head to the side as she shrunk away from him.

"The training I put you through was cruel by design. I knew that even most agents in S.M.I.L.E couldn't handle it," he knelt down to remain at eye level with her as she hugged the floor away from him. "To my eternal frustration, you did and wound up excelling as a result." He finally broke eye contact and looked to the side at her wall of awards she'd earned during her education.

"If your chosen path didn't frustrate my plans, I might have been proud," he hummed. Before she could recover, his attention fell upon her like a hammer. "But I remembered myself and so instead sought any means to have you decommissioned." He leaned in close.

"All this to reiterate that I lied to you," he whispered. "Your mother was no warrior. She died during childbirth. Yours." Honeysuckle suppressed a whimper as he leaned even closer.

"You killed her," he declared, slowly shaking his head. "She was no warrior. She was no guard. She was no hero." He tilted his head against hers as she shivered and curled up tight away from him.

"She was a housewife, and up until you took her from me, she was the light of my life," he added with a venomous and murderous tone. He loomed over her as she hid her face under her hooves.

Eventually, she managed to squeak an argument. "Her- Her sword-" Goldflame snorted in response and shot to his hooves.

"It's one of mine, you idiot. I held it up as a goalpost for you to work towards back when I hoped I could beat your dreams out of you," he grunted shaking his head, before looking down at her in disgust. "And I do mean that. Idiot." He huffed hard and shook his head.

"One of my greatest reliefs and yet greatest shocks was discovering that at no point during your career did you ever look into Twinberry's life," he said as he paced away from her. "If you had you might've discovered the truth upon finding no record of her in the Guard's archives." He paused and looked back at her.

"Or maybe at some point you did?" He mused, tilting his head. "Maybe you've known all along and have just been in denial?" He pranced back to her side and leaned in close.

"Maybe that's why you had such a temper?" He chirped, tilting his head this way and that as she cowered from him. Finally, he stood up and cracked his neck. "Whatever the case, now you know the truth. If you still want to emulate her so badly, then be a good girl for Blueblood like she was for me." He raised an eyebrow as he glared down at his daughter. After another silent period, she grunted and shot to her hooves, whirling around to glare death into his face.

"You're lying," she sobbed. He smiled.

"For once, no!" He beamed, leaning in close. "But while I will have you on house arrest until the villa is ready to host your wedding, feel free to check the archives. I'll have your guards notified it is permitted." He tilted his head as he slowly began to back away from her.

"I encourage you to do so," he hummed before whirling around and trotting out of the room. "If only because seeing it in writing with your own eyes might finally extinguish that annoying flame I failed to put out."

Once she was alone, without bothering to shut the door behind him, Honeysuckle collapsed in a sobbing heap.

A pair of bluebirds flitted into the castle garden and landed in a tree directly above the outdoor table Celestia and her nephew were seated at. The pair looked up at the birds before Blueblood hummed a laugh.

"Well like I was saying, if nothing else, Goldflame's co-conspirators have been doing me favors!" He chirped as he took a sip of the coffee he'd requested. "They've been keeping the other families away from me, so I've been able to relax the act a little, even in public." Celestia's smile wavered and she stared into her tea.

"Sweety, you know you don't have to do that," she sighed, earning a snort from the younger unicorn.

"Says you," he huffed before throwing a hoof up. "But look at what's happening—Even despite my projected belligerence, they're still finding a way to use me to kick you out." He threw himself back against his chair and shook his head.

"If I'd known Goldflame hated his daughter so much, I would've just thrown the towel in and settled down years ago," he grumbled. After just a moment, Celestia perked up.

"You could still do that, you know," she offered, earning a look of confusion from her nephew. "It'd be quite the adventure! Prince Blueblood, next in line for the throne by one metric or another, runs off with some commoner mare to escape the stresses of nobility!" Blueblood blinked as Celestia nodded sincerely.

"Goodness, we are in trouble if you're making jokes like that," he murmured, causing her to giggle.

"You used to make those jokes, too," she replied, batting the side of his head with a wing.

"Only when I wanted to annoy you," he retorted, waving her wing away. "I'd never leave you all alone."

"And I love you for that," she giggled before looking up and considering the recently reoccupied tower her sister was sleeping in. "But I'm not alone anymore." Blueblood smiled at her words before wilting when she grimaced for an imperceptible moment. As she turned, he followed her gaze and wilted harder at what he found.

"Hello, Goldflame," Celestia chirped as the older unicorn came trotting up, flanked by castle guards. The two guards saluted as Celestia waved them away.

"It may interest you to know that Honeysuckle has been located and returned to me," Goldflame said once the three were alone. Initially, his gaze fell solely on Celestia, who returned his harsh glare with a smile. Then, he turned to Blueblood with a bow. "As such, Prince, we have begun preparations for your wedding. Congratulations."

"Ah-hah," Blueblood huffed, grabbing his cup and clearing his throat. "Great."

Celestia tilted her head. "Have you told anypony else?"

"Of course," Goldflame replied, raising an eyebrow at her. "And I have her under constant watch to ensure she isn't abducted again."

"Very good to hear," Celestia chirped with a nod, before fixing him with a strange, sharp sort of smile that made Blueblood wince. "I'm sure you must have been worried sick about her so this must be a stark relief for you." Goldflame and she locked eyes for a few moments.

"Sure," he finally hummed. Celestia held her smile for a moment before something more genuine to Blueblood's eyes lighted upon her features.

"Well! Was there anything else?" She asked as she sipped her tea.

"Non. I simply believed it best to be the first to tell you," he replied.

"Of course! Thank you, Goldflame," Celestia said, nodding his way. "Give Honeysuckle my best." Blueblood watched the older unicorn turn and trot away for a few moments before sighing hard.

"Oh boy," he grumbled, shaking his head. "Sorry, Aunty."

"Oh, it's not your fault," she sighed, brushing him with a wing. When a few moments passed without her saying anything further, Blueblood looked up and then recoiled.

"Are you-" He paused as her eyes snapped to him from the scroll she had been considering with a severe look. It was black with a silver wax seal.

"He and I both know what he is, even if he's managed to hide it from the public," she replied in a firm tone as she turned the scroll over in her magic. "So he and I both know I cannot allow him any closer to the reins of the country. And Discord already told me in private he thinks it's too funny to step in." She stared hard at the scroll for a minute or two before snapping the seal with her magic. The second it broke, the entire scroll went up in flames before crumbling to a puff of pitch-black smoke that slithered into the air in a thin, almost imperceptible stream. Blueblood swallowed hard at the sight as Celestia took up her tea cup.

"He's left me no choice," she murmured as she sipped.

For a few minutes, the only noise following the cave-in was the gentle dripping and trickling of the stream of water that managed to slip through the debris pile. Eventually, another noise filled the tunnel and a flash of light filled it as a pony in thick black armor, complete with a helmet that completely enclosed her head, appeared out of nowhere and landed on her back.

"Ow. Crud," Sundown groaned as she slowly rolled to her hooves, considering first the debris she'd been buried in and then the moist tunnel she found herself in. "Sewers. Okay." She huffed and jostled her helmet, adjusting the breathing filter, and tapped the red gemstone lenses over her eyes until they lit up again. Now able to see thanks to the gem's magic, she examined the pouches lining the belt of her armor. Sighing hard in relief that her equipment wasn't damaged, she began trotting at a brisk pace down the tunnel, when the magic piercing in her ear jingled.

"Sundown, come in," a familiar voice said in a buzz. Sundown sighed hard and tapped the side of her helmet.

"Sundown here. I lost consciousness," she reported as she rounded a corner scanning the tunnel up and down. "Currently underground in a sewage canal." Her ear twitched under her helmet with a gurgling caught her attention further up the way she was trotting. Regardless, she continued trotting down the path she'd chosen.

"Understood. We've been trying to reach you for five minutes," the voice reported. "We just received our next assignment. Another category five." Sundown grunted at the information as she finally caught sight of the gurgling's source. Ahead in the tunnel were a dozen or so ponies who'd been reported missing over the last three months. Now, they were milling about with a glazed look in their eyes and horrible, infected bite wounds littering their bodies.

"Another one? Dang," Sundown huffed as she trotted right into the midst of the small horde, causing them to slowly shudder and turn toward her. "What, did Dr. Plum manage to release the virus he was working on while I was knocked out or something?" She kept up her pace as the infected ponies shambled after her, and only paused once when one she hadn't seen rose up from the sewer water and tried to grab her. She caught herself on her rear hoof and pivoted back and around the zombie pony before continuing on.

"Nope! It's Goldflame and the Ponyhood," the voice chirped, earning a snort from Sundown.

"Finally. Why'd she make us wait this long?" She asked as the zombie ponies hissed and screeched after her just before turning down an intersection out of their sight.

"He's too high profile and experienced from his days as the head of S.M.I.L.E," the voice explained. "We've got three-quarters of the intelligence committee working on a plan to get him. You're first on the docket to do the job." Sundown glanced up as she found she was now trotting under a grating through which the sun was shining.

"Gee, thanks," she huffed as she followed the grate.

"What's your current status?" The voice demanded.

"I was in Plum's garden, dealing with his monster attack dogs. One of them had some explosives wired onto it that went off when its vital functions ceased," she paused as she came to a deep pit that was open all the way to the sky. "At least, I think that's why it exploded. Still operating under magic conservation level two." She glanced up and down the sides of the pit until she spotted a spire of the castle she'd been infiltrating.

"Ah-hah! I'm at point seven dash b five!" She declared before turning and trotting along the rim of the pit.

"Copy. Relaying to the extraction team," the voice reported. "Any eyes on Plum?"

"Negative. Most of the infiltration was undetected until his hounds sniffed me out," she said before pausing as she spotted a service ladder for Plum's bipedal monsters.

"Jeez, even through your suit?" The voice asked as Sundown retreated from the ladder and the hulking, bloated, former-diamond dog that stood guard at the ladder.

"Yep," she reported, lighting up her horn and drawing the monster's attention. "Hold on. Big guy and a bucking ladder." The monster shambled to its paws, gurgling and squelching as it did before turning toward her fully. Sundown scraped her hoof against the floor, causing the monster to shudder a growl before it sprang toward her with alarming speed. Just before it was upon her, she teleported right past it and began pulling herself up the ladder with some effort.

"I'm clear," she strained as she awkwardly scaled the ladder.

"How many charges do you have left to place," the voice asked.

"Three," she huffed once she was out of the pit before drawing a package from her belt. "Deploying one now." She tossed the package into the pit before turning and hurrying toward the castle. She was now in a wide stone courtyard, filled with more infected ponies and other creatures ambling about.

"Good. Hurry up. Your extraction team reported the explosion and are worried they might've been spotted," the voice reported. "They're pulling out in three hundred seconds. Magic conservation lightened to level four."

"Copy," Sundown reported just as she made it to the steps leading inside the castle. At the top and above the door on a balcony, a tall, lean, and pale purple unicorn in a bloodied lab coat emerged.

"So! Agent of F.R.O.W.N!" Dr. Plum screamed, rearing up and jabbing a hoof down at her. "You think you can-" Before he could rant, she snapped open another pouch, drawing and rapidly unfolding a specialized crossbow, before shooting him. The doctor threw himself back with a gurgling scream.

"I found Plum. Bolt deployed, throat shot," Sundown reported, before embracing her relaxed magic restriction and teleporting up to his body. She leaned over the writhing pony for a moment until he went still. "Expired."

"Good work. Deploy the last of the explosives," the voice ordered.

"Roger," she chirped as she continued inside.

Bally Hoo spun in his swivel chair as he examined the report his insiders had just delivered him.

"A high-profile wedding with the potential to change the line of succession to the throne!" He cried before snickering. "Hoo hoo hoo! What a scoop." Across his desk, his assistant tilted her head.

"Mr. President, whatcha mean 'change the line of succession?'" She asked before Bally Hoo leaped atop his desk and knocked the ceiling-high stacks of papers there aside.

"It's pretty obvious to me what this is really about!" He cried, jabbing a hoof at her and sweeping it to the side. "I'll explain it once we're on our way to the wedding!" He chuckled grimly as he began pacing the desk.

"Which means if you want details you'd better get to work securing us an invitation!" He declared as he rubbed his chin in thought, earning a salute from his assistant.

"Right away, Sir!"

Chapter 23

The secluded garden of Goldflame's Canterlot manor was once again host to a gathering of those few Equestrian Elites who had aided him in propelling his schemes for seizing the throne. For once, however, the mood was jubilant and the manor's staff were run ragged as they scrambled to meet their guests' requests for sharper and fancier drinks.

"Here's to the Golden Age of Equestria!" Lofty Heights cheered, beating her wings as she thrust her glass into the air.

"Hear, hear!" Mirror Sheen replied as he and his brother clanked their glasses together, causing the latter to beam.

"And to the Golden Age of our Pocket Books!" Mirror Shine added, offering a bright smile to the other four ponies present, all but one of whom cheered at his declaration. However, Goldflame, being the odd one out, wore a dour and severe expression as he leered down at the wine glass held in his magic. The sight caused Shine to frown and tilt his head. "Something troubling you?" The elder unicorn blinked and considered his guests who now turned their attention to him. Scanning each of them, he again looked into his wine before taking a careful sip. Holding it behind his lips he donned a brief, almost imperceptible grimace before carefully spitting the wine back into his glass.

"We are not across the finish line yet," he replied as he set the glass on the arm of the chair he stood beside before wiping his lips and the inside of his mouth with a cloth. As the other elites recoiled, he slowly scanned the staff hurrying around the garden. When none of them paused or returned his look, he shot a severe glare at his guests. "In the event I am late to the wedding for any reason, it is to carry on as planned." The others shared a look before considering their own drinks and slowly emptying them onto the floor, much to the audible alarm of one of the maids who then threw her head back with a groan and trotted off to the inside of the house.

"You, ah, expecting much interference?" Weaver hummed as he now also scanned the garden with an anxious look. Goldflame snorted with a nod in response.

"Considering they believe without me they will be able to thwart us, yes," he explained before shaking his head. "However, so long as you keep to the charter I have provided, even in the event of my death, we shall be victorious." He grunted and cast an annoyed look off to the side.

"On that topic, there is a chance I will be late regardless," he huffed before raising an eyebrow as the maid returned with a cloth. "I have to go to Stalliongrad to speak with a prospective business partner."

"Pardon me," the maid whispered as she carefully hugged the ground to begin cleaning the spill. Ignoring her, Goldflame hummed and leered at the rest of the house staff.

"A fairly rash and impatient fellow, I'm told. Very eager to learn the ins and outs of my field and unwilling to listen to any of my associates," he continued to scan the staff as he spoke, but none of them paid him any mind. "Shouldn't take more than a week. As I said, the wedding carries on even if I do not return in time." His eye suddenly fell hard upon his guests, causing them to shiver.

"If she escapes again, one of you will answer for it," he added in a dire tone. The four ponies swallowed hard and nodded vehemently, causing him to smile before making his way inside. The four co-conspirators shared a look, but once he reached the door threshold he hummed and turned back to them. "Ah, and don't forget our new friend if Fremont elects to cause trouble." Lofty, the Mirrors, and Weaver all tilted their heads in confusion, but Juniper perked up.

"Ah! Yes, of course," she chirped before giving a salute. "Thanks for reminding me!" Goldflame gave her a nod before turning and disappearing into the house. The four ponies sighed hard before sharing a look and then carrying on with their celebration. Once the maid had finished cleaning the floor, she carefully bowed to each of them and trotted back inside.

As soon as she cleared the door she turned and made her way to the laundry room. As she moved, she studied the paintings adorning the walls, taking each instance where she did to carefully glance back the way she came. When she finally turned into the laundry room and dropped the dirty rags into the laundry basket, she again peeked behind her to make sure she was alone. Satisfied, she slipped a little grey crystal from her mane that was hidden behind her headdress. Setting it on the floor, she spun it a few times until it began to glow and quietly hum.

"Got something," she whispered into the gem. "Oh, and the concentrated nightshade didn't work." The gem continued to hum for a moment before a voice slowly hissed out.

"Great," the voice grunted with a distorted sigh. "So?"

"He's going to Stalliongrad, and- HYEK!" The maid tensed up and then slowly turned her head with a pained expression. There, just behind her and on the other end of the sword currently driven through her back and out her chest, was the master of the house.

"Minty?" The voice in the crystal called. Minty the Maid winced and tried to respond, but only managed a quiet squeak. Goldflame fixed her with an unimpressed expression before he twisted the sword once and slowly drew it out of her. The maid tensed again before gasping quietly and dropping to the ground. As Goldflame considered the glowing stone, a hulking biped slowly stalked in behind him.

"Minty?" The voice pressed with a more urgent tone. In response, Goldflame bent his head down to the crystal.

"Goldflame," he replied before stamping his hoof on the crystal, shattering it. He took a shallow breath, looking over the dead mare beside him before nodding his head back at the biped. "Clean this up then return to your post. Burn her, eat her, I don't care. Just get rid of it." He waved a hoof at the corpse before trotting past the monster.

In response, Double chuckled quietly as he rubbed his chin. "Well, shoot, Old Timer, that's awful dirty," he hummed before reaching down and seizing the dead mare by the head with one claw. "Had a feelin' I liked you!" He chortled quietly as he effortlessly heaved up the body and hid it under his coat before making his way out as well.

Through the train car window, far below the distant shape of the family villa was visible. Every minute that passed, it crept closer and closer and with it, the looming threat of what would happen just days after she arrived. Honeysuckle took a deep, shuddering breath as she studied the villa before scanning the open fields in every direction beyond it.

Ordinarily, she'd think they granted her plenty of opportunities to escape. However, as she scanned the fields, she couldn't help but take notice of the dark shape flitting to and fro amongst the clouds, a constant and overbearing reminder of the guardian her father had ordered to keep watch. Clenching her eyes and turning away from the window she returned to staring blankly at the private car she'd been granted.

The other seats were all empty, but she knew that on the other sides of the doors letting into the other cars, there were guards standing watch. Not Royal Guards, no. Private security from her family's holding in Canterlot, here to ensure the future royal couple and the staff attending them on this trip made it to the villa safe and sound.

Meaning they worked for her father.

Meaning if they caught her trying to slip from her car, they'd drag her right back.

Ordinarily, she'd be confident of her ability to overpower any one or even two of them. In fact, at her peak, she could probably take over the whole train on her own.

But she was as far from her peak as she could get and every second that passed let her dwell on her father's words. And the longer she did that, the defiant and confident fire she'd cultivated across her life seemed to miraculously grow dimmer.

Sucking in a shallow breath she hopped out of her seat and began pacing the cabin floor. As a result, when the train carrying her to her fate rattled hard, she stumbled a little. Righting herself, she paused and considered the front of her car and then the back. Slowly, she crept to the rear door and peeked through its window. Sure enough, on the inside of the door of the opposite car was an armored pony.

But there was no one between either car.

Slowly, she carefully slid the car door open and all at once the cabin was filled with the rushing of wind on which the rumbling noise of the train came flooding in. Stepping out onto the platform connecting the two cars, she considered her surroundings. The train was currently descending from Canterlot's mountain and so on one side was a sheer rock face. On the other was a vast and certainly fatal fall.

She grunted as she considered either side as well as the speed the train was moving. Craning her head around the side of the car facing the mountain, she gasped when she saw the waterfall that flowed down from the mountain approaching.

"Bien!" She hissed, preparing to jump. No sooner had she crouched at the edge of the platform, than a heavy thud slammed down on the roof of her car, causing her to flinch. A moment later, a thick shadow fell over her as something loomed above the spot she stood upon. The shadow shifted to match the fluttering of the shape's flowing coat which itself matched the fluttering of her heart. Shortly thereafter, the waterfall rolled past, spraying the platform with cool mist as it slipped by. For a brief moment, the flame inside her had been reignited.

And just as quickly it was snuffed out again.

With a renewed sense of despair, Honeysuckle slowly considered the rocks as the train sped along. Before she could ponder the thought of jumping anyway, the door to the next car slid open and she jolted. Turning, she was met with the surprised face of Blueblood.

The prince looked at her in astonishment before noticing how close she was to the edge of the train. Clearing his throat he slowly held up a hoof. "I understand this situation isn't exactly ideal, but," he murmured and shook his head. "I still don't think that's the best way of handling it." Honeysuckle grunted and turned away.

"Why in Equestria do you care?" She huffed. After a brief moment, she groaned and grimaced at him. "Don't tell me. Can't wait to get your hooves on me?" Blueblood recoiled and furrowed his brow.

"No, actually," he sighed stepping out onto the platform. Just behind him, Honeysuckle spied the guard leering out at the pair of them. "If it were up to me this wedding wouldn't be happening." Honeysuckle scowled at the guard who smirked back, at which point Blueblood grunted.

"Er, no offense," he said with a weak chuckle. The words hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Huh?" She murmured. Blinking, she slowly shook her head. "Since when do you- Who are you?" Blueblood offered a weak and wary smile.

"Augustus Maynard Blueblood," he declared with a shrug. "Same as always." He squinted one eye and tilted his head back.

"Granted, I've spent some years cultivating a-" He grimaced with a nod. "Shall we say, repulsive reputation?" His smile became firmer as he spoke.

"Very useful for making schemers aiming for the throne think twice about trying to marry their daughters off to me," he paused and considered the guard behind him for a moment before whispering. "The ones who care about them anyway." Honeysuckle recoiled causing him to jolt and wave his hooves at her.

"Ah! Sorry, I-" She held up a hoof and shook her head.

"Non, non," she sighed before hanging her head. "It's true." At that moment, a heavy woosh split the air causing them both to flinch. Looking up, they saw nothing and then shared a look. Honeysuckle looked Blueblood up and down for a moment before considering the guard again. Then, she nodded her head back at her car before returning inside.

When Blueblood followed and the door was shut, he sighed. "I'm not sure what he hopes to gain through this," he huffed, shaking his head as the pair sat down beside each other.

"I think he thinks if we are married, he can use me to steer you," Honeysuckle quietly replied, turning to leer at the window and the sky beyond it. "And since you'd be the one in charge, well."

Blueblood furrowed his brow and shook his head at her words. "Why would you listen to a thing he says?" Honeysuckle stared off for a minute before replying.

"He frightens me," she finally and quietly said. "Deeply." The prince recoiled at her response before sulking.

"Ah," he sighed with his ears snapped back. "My aunt mentioned she has her- suspicions about your relationship." Honeysuckle snorted and shook her head.

"They probably fall short of reality," she grumbled. Silence held the car for a few moments. "I really thought I was finally free of him." Her head drooped and dragged her whole body down until she was lying on the floor.

"And yet here I am," she murmured. Blueblood looked at her sadly for a moment before humming and lying down beside her.

"Well, here's not so bad," he offered with a weak smile. "I might lead folks to believe I'm highly disqualified for my upcoming position, but!" He gently nudged her shoulder, drawing her attention to him.

"I think I can manage to do you some favors anyway," he added with a nod. "I certainly know enough to be able to keep him as far away from you as possible, for instance." Honeysuckle perked up and tilted her head at him.

"Really?" She asked, earning a nod from him.

"Certainly!" He chirped before pausing. He considered her for a moment before smirking. "Assuming he makes it back from his business trip, anyway." He weakly chuckled causing Honeysuckle to recoil.

"Makes it back?" She murmured.

"You were a lieutenant, yes?" Blueblood asked, at which she nodded. "Ah, so you know about S.M.I.L.E?" When she nodded again, he grinned wickedly and leaned close.

"But what about their secret step-sister?" He pressed.

The Fields of Eastern Prance, Western Equestrian Territories

Four Days until the Wedding

At one end of a vast and deep canyon, across which the Equestrian Railway ran, a pair of unicorns, one yellow and the other pink, in matching black button-up coats sat waiting inside one of the countless thick bushes that decorated the landscape. One had a pair of binoculars held in her magic as she scanned the opposite end of the canyon along the train tracks while the other scanned the bridge crossing the canyon.

"Our operative in the train system got the seating arrangements fixed," the pink binoculars mare said, smirking as a train slowly rolled into view, speeding towards the bridge. "As you can guess, he'll be in one of those upper-class private cars at the back." She nudged her partner and gestured to the train.

"But! He's the only one in his car. All the other hoity-toity types had their tickets screwed up and either missed this train or are further up than he is," she added as the other mare beamed at the approaching train.

"Aw, that's a shame. I wouldn't mind catching a few pieces of collateral," she declared as the train arrived at the far end of the bridge. The pair slipped inside the bush. "So, he's really fine with her getting hitched even if he croaks?"

"I dunno! I mean the wedding's supposed to carry on with or without him, so," the pink mare shrugged as they focused on the train. At that moment, from one of the other bushes, a grey pegasus shot forward and vanished on the opposite side of the train.

Inside one of the train cars, alone with just his personal guards, Goldflame sat with his head reclined on a pillow and his eyes shut. The captain of his squad sat directly across from him with his tongue stuck out as he scanned the newspaper he held up in his magic.

"Five-letter word for awful?" He asked, drawing a grunt from Goldflame. At that moment, a rattling boom echoed through the cabin followed by a shrill metallic squealing noise. Goldflame shot to an upright position as he and the captain looked out the window in surprise.

While the rest of his guards murmured or rushed for the doors, Goldflame magically yanked the window open and jerked his head through it. Looking back the way the train had come, he discovered his car and the four behind it were now crawling to a stop atop a bridge. Turning his head the other way, his eyes went wide upon spotting a grey pegasus waving at him from the platform of the car his had previously been attached to as it and the rest of the train cleared the bridge.
"Merde," he hissed before diving back inside and rushing for the door, pushing past his guards as he galloped. Before he made it, however, the entire car lurched and was thrown into the air by an explosion.

Outside, the pair of mares who were leading the operation watched as the explosives they'd planted along the underside of the bridge collapsed the entire structure in a fireball. The last few cars of the train that had been left behind were violently shoved upward by the explosion before being sent tittering into the canyon below. As they beamed at their work, the yellow mare narrowed her eyes and pointed.

"Oup. There he is," she declared. Down below, a certain white unicorn shot forward through the door of the car he'd been riding in. For a moment, he seemed to be flying, by as he darted through the air and the falling debris it became apparent he was galloping across the debris itself and using it as a pathway to safety. Suddenly, he leaped and twisted, hurling something toward the cliffside below the mares. Glancing down they saw it was one of his swords which then stabbed into the rockface. Seconds later, the unicorn himself slammed hard against the side of the cliff just above the sword. As he slid down he snapped over and clamped his teeth onto the hilt of the sword, and then hung there with a frayed and furious look in his eyes, both of which were visible now.

"Oooh!" Both mares balked, recoiling for a moment before the yellow one smirked and shook her head. "That's not a surprise." Goldflame wrenched his body up and perched upon his sword before sitting and panting. He considered the fiery wreck of the car he'd been in as it vanished into the abyss below before glaring up at the mares. They shared a smirk before turning to the field behind him.

"Alright! We've got like ten minutes before he scales the cliff. Let's get our perimeter set up!" The pink one declared. At her command, from the bushes all around the field, thirteen other uniformed ponies, including the pegasus who'd detached the train car, suddenly appeared, dragging equipment and weapons with them. Among them, a pony in a suit of heavy black armor appeared with a special helmet and mask held in her magic. She gave a nod to her commander before donning the headgear.

"Get the cannon rolled in!" The yellow mare ordered, gesturing along the edge of the cliffside. "Razor wire there and there!"

Sweetleaf Family Villa, Central Equestria

Day of the Wedding

Perhaps as a symbolic gesture or perhaps as a method of allowing and encouraging rapid response to any monsters that might slink out of the woods, the Sweetleaf villa had been built within sight of the Everfree Forest. Certainly, for three generations at least, the heads of the family had made use of that proximity to execute their duties as defenders of Equestria to great effect.

Befitting its potential purpose, the villa's grounds were enclosed in a stone wall of about ten feet, with four gates at the cardinal points of the wall. Within the wall, a set of four tiled paths split the grounds into four as they led up to the house at the center of it all. The house was two stories with a red tiled and sloped roof, but there was a flat platform atop the center of the roof on which previous heads of the house had perched to spy out at the forest in the distance.

Facing south, there was a wide rounded balcony that stretched from one corner of that side of the house to the other and provided a shaded porch in which much of the wedding's proceedings were set to take place. The musicians were set up atop the balcony and were currently playing a quiet piece, setting the austere mood of the ceremony as the guests milled and mingled. Seats were arranged on either side of the path that led up to the porch, and either quadrant of the yard had been decorated to serve a specific purpose: One side held the food, and the other held the registry and gift table. Each quadrant was carefully patrolled by family guards and atop the platform above them all, a mysterious, masked biped in a long coat stood watching.

Celestia considered the stranger with a distant and even frown. Her frown turned to blinking annoyance when she was suddenly and rapidly flashed by a camera hoisted up by Bally Hoo's assistant. Fixing the mare with a frown as she trotted away to snatch photos of the other attendees, Celestia sighed hard and then slowly trotted to the food table where her nephew was currently sitting, staring off with a sad frown.

Once she sat beside him he perked up for just a moment before sighing hard and adjusting his bowtie. "You sure you couldn't, I don't know," he murmured, nodding his head up at the sun before sulking again. "Pull the sun down and maybe discreetly start a fire?" Celestia chuckled and brushed his back with a wing.

"Oh, I could," she replied. "But I shouldn't." At that moment, the musicians went silent, drawing their attention to the doors beneath the balcony, out of which an old, bald unicorn stallion in flowing black robes emerged. He stood at the center of the porch and cleared his throat before drawing a set of cards from his robe and mouthing the words as he read them.

"Unbelievable they aren't letting you lead the ceremony," Blueblood groused.

"Very believable, unfortunately," Celestia replied before hugging her nephew. He returned the gesture before she urged him forward with a wing. "I think you'd better go ahead." Blueblood sighed hard with a nod before trotting off. The sight of him caused the guests to all make their way to their seats. As they did so, one of the serving staff approached the food table and began depositing a few extra plates from the kitchen.

"Any word?" Celestia quietly asked.

"Negative," the serving pony replied as he carefully slid the items onto the table. "He must have escaped." Celestia grimaced at the report.

"Unfortunately. Even with Sundown assisting and the element of surprise, I advised that fifteen agents might not be enough," she sighed quietly and tilted her head back, staring at the sky. "I pray otherwise, however. If we let them ruin a vital piece of infrastructure for nothing." She furrowed her brow for a moment when she realized the biped atop the house was gone.

"Not to mention," the serving pony replied with a hum as he moved to leave the table. "Their failure to report it would have a very unhappy connotation."

"Somepony mention reporting?" A newcomer suddenly asked causing the serving pony to jump. Turning, Celestia saw the smirking face of Bally Hoo as he pushed past the serving pony to her side. "How are doing, Princess?" The server scowled at him before trotting away and Celestia nodded with a smile.

"Quite well. It is a happy day, after all," she replied as the musicians picked up with a wedding march, drawing her attention forward.

"For you?" Bally pressed with a hum.

"It's not about me," Celestia replied with a quiet laugh.

"Hm," Bally hummed slowly nodding his head, before fluttering up to her eye level and smirking. "Well, since you brought it up, I notice a distinct lack of our host, the fellow who this is about." Celestia grimaced for an imperceptible moment before fixing him with a confused frown.

"Pardon?" She asked, drawing a wider smirk from the stallion.

"Goldflame," he replied, wagging his eyebrows. "The leader of the little coalition attempting to usurp you."

"Usurp me? Goodness! What a peculiar thing to think," Celestia gasped, shaking her head.

"What else would you call it?" Bally huffed, tilting his head and still smirking. Celestia giggled quietly and gently patted him on the head with a wing.

"Calling for a vote of no-confidence is hardly an attempt at usurpation," she replied, raising a hoof with a sage nod. "And I would urge you to remember that regardless of what happens today, the vote is not decided yet!"

"True! But~," Bally landed and fixed the crowd of guests with a suspicious leer. "If it were a conspiracy to claim the throne then seeing this presumably vital step in said conspiracy come to fruition would certainly give confidence to those voting in a way that behooves said conspiracy." He turned back to Celestia with a wide grin.

"Many of whom I note are present now," he added, at which point his assistant suddenly slid into view, holding up a camera and fixing Celestia with an expectant frown. The princess glanced at the pair before shaking her head.

"I think you read too many of your own drama pieces," she huffed before rising and making her way to her seat. The pair watched her for a moment before sharing a look and trotting to their own seats. By the time the princess and the journalists were seated, the musicians' performance swelled. Against tradition, but as necessitated by the shape of the house, a train of guards and flower mares suddenly appeared around the eastern corner of the house.

As the flower mares threw flower petals, slowly and with her head hanging Honeysuckle appeared, fully adorned in her wedding dress. Behind her were a pair of mares helping carry the trail of her dress and behind them were four more guards. Celestia grimaced at the display, watching with another even frown as the mare made her way to Blueblood's side. Her nephew offered a weak smile to his fiancé who made no motion in response. As the guards lined up at either side of the cover porch and the flower mares lined up on either side of the soon-to-be-weds, the stallion leading the ceremony beamed and nodded. As the musicians slowly finished their song he spoke.

"Gathewed fwends," he declared causing Celestia to balk. "We awe gathewed hewe today to cewebwate the howy matwimony of these two wove stwuck ponies." He held a hoof to his chest with a wistful look on his face as Celestia slowly blinked.

"Ah! Wove! A cownowstone of our society!" He swept his hoof to the ground and shook his head. "Fow without wove, whewe would we be?" He beamed again but then frowned.

"Is that a twee?" He asked, tilting his head. Suddenly, a tree slammed into him lengthwise and roots first. The stallion vanished as the uprooted arboreal missile slammed straight through the spot he'd been standing and then on through the door to the house. The entire crowd jumped and a few screamed before all eyes snapped back the way the tree had come.

There, slowly stalking down the path toward the house, was Blackbeard. In his right hand was a pipe he was smoking from and in his left hand was the strange biped who'd been keeping guard atop the house. His fingers were fully enclosed around the creature's neck and the creature was completely limp. Taking a long drag from his pipe, he held up and rattled the unresponsive thing.

"Caught this errant pup sneaking up upon me," he hummed, tilting his head to fix the creature with a sideways smile. At that moment, Lofty Heights fixed him with a firm frown before spreading her wings and bolting forward from her seat and vanishing through the destroyed door. "All by his lonesome, too. A good joke!" Blackbeard heaved a plume of smoke out as he held the creature close.

"Shame I'm in no mood, hey, boy?" He hissed before unfurling his fist and letting the creature fall to the ground. The crowd fell into anxious and terrified whimpering as the pirate stalked forward again, beating his pipe against his leg. "Where's Goldflame?"

"Not again," Salt Spray whispered as he slowly curled up in his seat and tucked his hooves over his face. Before anyone could respond to the pirate's question, Lofty appeared on the balcony.

"Stop right there!" She screamed, drawing everyone's attention. "Look who we have!" She thrust forward another mare who was currently bound tight with ropes. Blackbeard beamed at the sight.

"Oh, there you is, Sneaky," he chirped, tilting his head with a chortle. "Thought you died."

"Blackbeard! Help!" Sneaky screamed as she thrashed. Lofty recoiled and looked between the two.

"Blackbeard? That's not Fremont?" She murmured. Blackbeard furrowed his brow at the question at which point Lofty gasped. "Oh, right. The beard. Whoops." The pirate looked her up and down before snorting.

"Is this supposed to be a hostage negotiation?" He demanded, shaking his head. "Because I'm afraid I just don't have time to care." Sneaky whimpered at his declaration as Lofty swallowed hard.

"Uhm," she managed before Blackbeard raised his hands and took a few steps forward.

"Now, granted, once I've settled my business with Goldflame, I'm pleased as pie to break every bone in your body over her!" He declared, causing the pegasus to wilt and turn pale. "But please understand, a man has to have priorities." At that moment, a single hoof clicked on the ground before him. Slowly, his eyes drifted down until he locked eyes with the hoof's owner.

"Oh-hoh," he purred as Celestia stood before him with a firm and even look. "Hello, you." A tense silence fell between them that gripped the entire crowd, during which time the guards managed to recover from their initial shock and began taking up positions in a wide perimeter around Blackbeard. The pirate hummed and stroked his beard.

"Well! Now, I be placed in an awful spot," he gestured to Celestia and then to the house. "To settle my quarrel with ye, or t'pursue my far fresher quarrel with the unicorn I trod all the way up here to catch." He fixed her with a wry smile for a moment before frowning when she just continued to stare.

"Hello?" He murmured, leaning in. Celestia blinked and then recoiled slightly.

"Ah, apologies," she huffed, shaking her head. "It's been a frustrating series of weeks, and I zoned out for a moment. What were you saying?" Blackbeard balked at her words before snorting and waving a hand.

"Ah, not important," he declared, leaning in at the hips with a grim smirk. "Mainly since I remembered something special about you!" He winked at Celestia as she raised an eyebrow.

"You always did have a soft spot for collateral," he whispered before standing upright and shouting. "Get to work, boys!" At his command, a host of creatures came spilling over the walls and through the gates, once against drawing cries of panic from the crowd. A few guests who were capable of doing so attempted to escape into the air only to be cut off by pegasi or griffins. At least, they seemed to be pegasi and griffins.

In truth, almost every creature that appeared at the pirate's order was stitched together amalgamations of a few different creatures. Some were ponies with lion or wolf claws, some were moose with extra legs or antlers. A diamond dog appeared who had the lower body of an Abyssinian and the agility to match as he slinked and slithered with cat-like grace, and a unicorn with a manticore's oversized jaws suddenly teleported into view. Their sudden arrival, freakish appearance, and unnatural power said appearance seemed to grant them allowed them to overpower the guards and cow the guests into terrified submission.

As Celestia considered the scene unfolding around her, she noted that Honeysuckle was still standing with her head hanging beside Blueblood, who for his part was anxiously positioning himself between her and Blackbeard, though his head was whipping left and right as a pair of ponies with timberwolf claws were stalking closer to him.

"Where's Pseudo?" Blackbeard suddenly asked, drawing her attention back to him and the earth pony beside him.

"Slipped away, like he does," Blueleaf sighed as he scanned the villa.

"Eh," Blackbeard huffed with a shrug. Behind him, an ordinary diamond dog suddenly appeared and waved.

"Hello, Sneaky," he called.

"Nettle! Help!" The captive pegasus screamed.

"Blackbeard!" Another voice screamed, causing Celestia to sputter and hang her head.

"Okay," she sighed. "That's good at least." The pirate furrowed his brow and turned to see Twilight and the other element bearers galloping in after him.

"We finally caught up with you!" She cried.

"Huh?" He murmured in response.

"Nice. Saucy, pictures," Bally Hoo demanded.

"Yessir, Mr. President!" His assistant chirped before snapping pictures of the entire scene. The pirate and the purple unicorn glanced at the pair for a moment before locking eyes again.

"You been following me? Since when?" Blackbeard demanded with a huff.

"Since you trashed Canterlot, you big jerk!" Rainbow spat, causing him to snort.

"Ah. Determined, eh?" He chortled before sweeping his arms across the villa and taking a step to the side. "Well, what're you gonna do now? Take a look around ye." Twilight and the others paused and considered Blackbeard's followers, many of whom now had guests at knife or claw point, and the six of them flinched.

"Shoot! That's low of ya, fella," Applejack hissed.

"No fair, cheater!" Pinkie added, springing in the air to kick her hooves.

"Pirate" Blackbeard retorted with a smirk. He considered Celestia for a moment before furrowing his brow as she seemed to have zoned out again. Then, he held up his hand and shook his head. "Listen! I'm just here for that rat, Goldflame." Twilight recoiled at his words and glanced at Celestia who snapped out of her mild daze to leer annoyedly at the pirate.

"He and I have a score to settle," Blackbeard added as he paced in a narrow circle. "So, if you'll just-"

"What score is that?" Goldflame huffed as he slowly trotted up and around passed the element bearers. Blackbeard paused and slowly smiled as he turned to face the old unicorn who offered a weak nod at his second in command. "Ah, and Blueleaf? Tu me dégoûtes." Blueleaf recoiled at his uncle's words.

Celestia grimaced hard at the sight of Goldflame, especially his sword which was drawn and already bloody. Granted, the rest of him was in rough shape as well. His clothes were torn and charred, his mane and mustache were frayed, he had heavy bags under his eyes and he was drenched in sweat and covered in cuts and bruises. The old unicorn leered miserably back at her before fixing Blackbeard with a wry frown.

"Truth be told, I was coming back here to send a message to Stalliongrad," he hummed, slowly glancing across the entire villa. At the sight of him, many of Blackbeard's followers wilted, granting some of the guests a chance to scurry away. "I intended to check on the wedding before doing so." Goldflame's eyes locked with Celestia's.

"I was accosted by the most unusual bunch," he added with a low tone, tilting his head at her. "They seemed quite insistent on claiming my life." Celestia's eyes narrowed for a moment as he spoke, especially as he smirked.

"I managed to overcome them with some effort," he said, winking. "And hopefully before they were able to make contact with whoever was responsible for sending them after me." He took a breath and then heaved it out before furrowing his brow and tilting his head to look past the princess. Turning, she saw he was now looking at Honeysuckle, who at some point had collapsed and was hiding her face with her hooves. Returning her attention to Goldflame, she scowled as he took another, deeper breath and then sighed warmly. A change seemed to overtake him and he appeared to be revitalized as he fixed Blackbeard with a defiant smirk.

"Well? En garde," he urged, wagging his sword at him. The pirate balked for a moment before smirking and rolling up his sleeves. Twilight and the others shared a look before taking up a unified stance. Celestia hummed before bristling her wings and lighting up her horn, slowly scanning the brigands around the villa who weren't demoralized yet.

Then the daylight shifted from a clear and warm shade to a harsh and brown hue. Again the crowd fell into panic which was only intensified when a long, jagged, black shadow crept across over the western wall and into the yard. As it slithered across the yard, little black crystals shot up in its wake until it finally stopped and a larger specimen rose from its end. Atop this last crystal stood a grey unicorn in metal armor with fiery red eyes and a jet-black mane. The unicorn scanned the horrified crowd for just an instant before jabbing a hoof at the utterly astonished Goldflame.

"You! Goldflame, correct?" He demanded. When no answer came, he raised an eyebrow and nodded. "You look like the picture they gave me. How dare you?" Twilight balked at the new arrival and turned to Celestia before frowning when she saw the alicorn's head hanging and her wings drooping. More astonishingly, her mane had cinders dancing through it.

"Oy! I recognize him!" Blackbeard laughed, pointing up at the newcomer and nudging Blueleaf. "Hah! He's that silly little crystal boy!" The newcomer gasped and scowled at Blackbeard.

"Silly little-? Who dares-" He narrowed his eyes before adopting an even, if annoyed frown. "Oh, it's you." Blackbeard giggled and wiggled his fingers in a greeting. While many of the guests were cowering, either alone beneath their seats or in huddled piles, Bally Hoo and his assistant remained stalwart.

"King Sombra?" Bally hummed, rubbing his chin with a hoof.

"Who's that President?" Saucy asked, snapping pictures of the terrified crowd and the new arrival.

"The ancient tyrant of the Crystal Empire!" Bally declared, waving a hoof at Sombra. "A thousand years ago he was one of the many villains and foes that Celestia and Luna elected to simply seal away and deal with later rather than destroy utterly as I covered in my report: 'Ease of Today, Torment of Tomorrow! The Procrastination of Modern Equestrian Royalty'!" Saucy hummed with a nod as she snapped a picture of Sombra. Strangely, and perhaps on instinct, Sombra struck a pose the instant the camera flashed before returning to scowling at Blackbeard.

"I was wondering why he didn't show up alongside the Crystal Empire," Bally hummed, tilting his head. "But why is he here?" At that moment, Goldflame sighed hard and Sombra returned his fury to him.

"Nopony snubs King Sombra!" He bellowed, shaking a hoof at Goldflame. "Not you, nor your pathetic little Platinum Pony-whatever!" Goldflame recoiled as the weariness of his recent trials began to show on his face again. Sombra scoffed and shook his head.

"Some Grand Master you turned out to be!" He humphed, sticking his nose up with an indignant snort. "You can't even be bothered to attend a guest!"

Goldflame snarled and shook his head before hissing in an exhausted squeak. "I was stranded over a hundred miles from Stalliongrad! You expect me to-"

"Trot the whole way? Yes!" Sombra shot back with a damning jab of his hoof.

Goldflame ground his teeth and shook his head as he blinked in exhausted exasperation. "You-"

"Goldflame!" Bally cried, drawing the unicorn's attention to him. The journalist was still focused on Sombra but now had a steadily growing smirk. "You two are in cahoots?" A chill danced across Goldflame's back and snapped him back to full consciousness. As if sensing the unicorn's realization of his mistake, Bally beamed and rolled a hoof toward Sombra.

"And Mr. King Sombra-" He began.

"That's King Mr. King Sombra!" Sombra bellowed back.

"Apologies! King Mr. King Sombra, what was that you were saying about the, er, Platinum Pony-whatever?" Bally urged, pulling out his notepad and fixing the tyrant with an expectant smirk. At that moment, Celestia paused and adopted a purse-lipped frown.

"Oh! Listen to this!" Sombra huffed, jabbing another hoof at Goldflame. "These miscreants come and tear me away from my well-formulated ploy for revenge so they can sell me this scheme of overtaking all of Equestria in one fell swoop!" Bally nodded vehemently as he wrote down the tyrant's every word. Sombra suddenly turned into smoke and slithered down before rematerializing right beside Bally.

"Now, I'm all in favor of swooping, especially of the fell variety," he added, waving a hoof dismissively at the utterly stunned Goldflame. "Regardless of the Tribalistic motivations behind it! But when I'm told I must wait on their Grand Master to come and give me directives, well!"

Sombra uttered a firm snort as he shook his head. "I simply can't stand by and-"

"The Grand Master of the Platinum Ponyhood, is that right?" Bally asked, holding up a hoof.

"Huh? Oh, yes. Him," Sombra replied, pointing a hoof at Goldflame. "He expected me to wait in their secret lair for him to come along and give me directions on how to proceed with our conquest of Equestria." Sombra barked a cry of discomfort as he shook his head.

"Honestly! To think-" He then fell into a lengthy spiel, during which time Goldflame's eyes became unfocused. His ears, however, picked up the whispers being uttered by his guests.

"Goldflame's with the Ponyhood!" Someone hissed.

"He's a dirty Platter!" Another added.

"Holy smokes, we're working with a tribalist extremist!" Juniper squeaked.

"I feel dirty," Mirror Sheen grumbled.

"Ah, well, I mean," Mirror Shien giggled nervously. "The money'll still be good, right?"

Then, Goldflame blinked and saw Honeysuckle, sitting upright. The moment she saw he was looking, she smirked and his teeth gnashed hard together. For his part, once he was finished writing down Sombra's spiel, Bally Hoo donned a thin-lipped smile as he leered at Goldflame.

"Oh hoh! This is rich!" He finally declared before clapping his hooves. "Saucy! Get pictures of the idiot!"

"Which one?" Saucy asked as she raised her camera.

"Good question!" Bally hummed, rubbing his chin before thrusting a hoof in the air. "First Goldflame, then King Mr. King Sombra!"

"Wrong! Me first, then Goldflame!" Sombra argued. Before she could begin snapping pictures, all the pony's ears swiveled and everyone turned toward the sound of another set of steps clicking against the tiled path. There, sprinting and panting through the west gate, came Victor Fremont.

"I object!" He screamed once he was clear of the gate, thrusting a defiant and pointing arm toward the alter. He stood there panting with his arm raised before he slowly took in his surroundings and let his arm sag. "Shit, I didn't time that right at all, did I?"

"You?" Blackbeard chortled.

"You!" Sombra spat.

"You," Goldflame growled.

"Him?" Honeysuckle gasped.

"Me?" Victor huffed, bringing a hand to his chest.

Chapter 24

Goldflame marched solemnly and with an inner fury bubbling just below the surface. As he strode along the road to his family villa, his ears swiveled and scanned his surroundings for the mare who had been pursuing him for the last few days—The mare who had kept him from being able to catch so much as a minute of sleep without fear of her falling upon him.

His joints ached and his hooves burned, matching the stinging sensation dancing across his coat from the cuts and scrapes he'd suffered fighting off the assassins Celestia had clearly sent after him. But he'd long since adapted to living with pain and so he knew countless mental strategies for coping to the point the mild discomfort he now felt motivated him and kept him moving.

In fact, he was so adapted to drawing strength from pain, that the thought of seeing Honeysuckle's horrified face as he entered the villa also invigorated him and managed to force a smile on his face. Said smile vanished as soon as his eyes fell upon his family villa and the forest not too far south of it.

Furrowing his brow, he paused and scanned the tree line. He rubbed his eyes and tilted his head before scanning it again.

"You're not seeing things. There seem to be more trees at the forest's edge than is natural," a familiar voice suddenly quipped, causing him to jolt. Whirling around and snapping his sword out of its sheath, he glared hard at the creature who'd snuck up on him.

The tall creature loomed behind him, its face obscured by a metal mask and its body obscured by long white robes. Goldflame hesitated, looking the thing up and down before it reached up and removed its mask and hood.

"You," he hissed, immediately recognizing the flat grey face, the cool blue and faintly glowing eyes, and the snowy white mane framing it all.

"Director," Pseudo said with a bow. "I owe you my thanks." Goldflame grimaced at the tall creature as he stood up to his full height.

"Had it been any other operative of Equestria's monster hunting corps that captured me, I might not have been granted the honor of seeing the Avatar of Chaos," he explained, tilting his head and offering the unicorn a subdued smile. "How is she, may I ask? Did she mature healthily?" Goldflame recoiled before hissing through a toothy grin.

"Ah," he hummed, gently sweeping his sword between the two of them. "So that's it, hm?" He pointed his sword at the smiling creature.

"You're here to try and spoil my plans?" He demanded, raising an eyebrow. "Doubtlessly as part of your bizarre devotion to instability and madness." Pseudo shook his head gently and raised a claw.

"No, truly I just wished to see you again and offer my thanks for your part in all that has happened, but I can tell you this," he replied bearing his teeth in a grin as he gestured toward the villa. "If you enter the grounds of this house, your plans will be laid bare and rendered moot regardless."

"Bien sûr, bien sûr," Goldflame said with a sage nod as he leveled his sword. He offered a narrow smile to the creature. "And I certainly believe you!" His sword suddenly slipped up and pressed against Pseudo's chest.

"Just as I believe you would have nothing to do with said rendering of my plans," the unicorn added with a sharp frown.

"I would not," Pseudo said, shaking his head before leaning in, causing the sword to bend slightly. "But my words mean little to you."

"Indeed," Goldflame replied before straightening his sword and plunging it straight through the creature's heart. Pseudo tensed up a little but his face remained unchanged even as a thin stream of blood began to run along the length of the sword impaled in him.

Goldflame twisted his sword and then dragged it out producing a wet squelch as it slipped free. He looked Pseudo in the eyes and then tilted his head when the creature remained standing. After another moment he huffed and gently poked him again, causing him to slowly slump back and hit the ground.

The unicorn considered Pseudo's body for a moment before turning and leering back at the villa. He narrowed his eyes when he spied out the shapes of a few dozen creatures creeping up to the walls and then entering his house. Snorting, he flicked some of the blood from his sword before trotting on toward the villa.

I took a few calming breaths as I peered through the trees at the fancy house in the distance. To my surprise, shortly after I made it to the edge of the forest, I saw none other than Blackbeard strolling up to one of the entry points with Double in a one-handed chokehold. Luckily, his presence would actually be pretty useful for what we were going to attempt.
We just needed to nab Honey and get out, after all, and that brick shit house of a historical figure was sure to cause enough of a disturbance to let us pull it off.

The leaves and bramble behind me crunched, signaling Sunset's approach. Turning, I gave her a nod. "Alright, is everyone ready?"

"Yep. I don't think we were noticed either," she replied with a nod, stepping right beside me to peer at the house. "Good call on us landing in and approaching from the forest." She frowned and raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're probably going to want to fumigate the lower decks of the airship once we're done though," she added, earning a hum from me.

"Good call, but circumstances and all that," I replied before adjusting the bands holding my robe up—I'd fixed its ends to hug my legs so I could actually run and move without too much trouble. Sunset watched me for a moment with an even expression.

"Hey, Vic?" She finally said.

"Yeah?"

"If Goldflame can see you be ready to kill him," she replied, causing me to pause.

"What?" I murmured, fixing her with a confused look. "I mean, Snowpea made it pretty obvious that Honey hates the guy, but what do you mean?" Her own expression hardened.

"I'm serious is what I mean," she pressed, raising a hoof. "If he can see you, you're within his reach." She furrowed her brow and looked to the side in thought.

"In fact, you should have one of your protection spells active the second you cross the villa's threshold," she hummed before shaking her head at me. "But above all else, if he can see you, you need to be ready to kill him." She locked eyes with me and spoke in a severe tone I wasn't used to hearing from her, even given the short time we'd known each other.

"He's bad news. Way bad," she warned, considering the villa again. "Before he retired S.M.I.L.E had a one hundred percent success rate in anomalous creature repulsion and capture operations." Her eyes snapped back to me.

"After he retired, that percentage dropped to thirty percent for three years while they worked to bolster their ranks and make up the difference," she said causing me to recoil slightly. She took a step closer and rested a hoof against my leg. "Brace yourself for that, okay?" I glanced at the villa, in which there were now signs of some kind of skirmish before I nodded at her.

"Sure," I replied.

My brief talk with Sunset just before I came charging toward the villa in hopes of pulling off one hell of a dramatic entrance flashed across my mind as the haggard and furious white unicorn who must've been Goldflame came speeding toward me. If he hadn't been coming straight on, I wasn't sure I'd have been able to see him move at all, but I could swear I saw the air distort around him as he flew toward me, sword outstretched.

I barely had time to get a spell or two in mind before he was right in front of me, and I almost didn't have time to fire either one off before his sword snapped out and stabbed me right in the chest.

Or so his dumbass thought.

In reality, while his sword was nestled firmly in the illusory fake I'd conjured with Phantasmal Forces the second we locked eyes, my invisible ass slipped around and grabbed his sword by the hilt. Sensing the contact, he recoiled with his jaw hanging. I smirked, causing my fake self to do likewise as I reached forward and slapped my palm on his open mouth.

"Shia-kazing!" I roared as I unloaded a fireball right in his mouth. As a result of my Invisibility spell breaking by the attack, his eyes lit up, metaphorically at first, and then very literally, just before a meaty boom erupted from inside his jaws. As the crowd of guests screamed, fire spilled out and covered his entire head in smoke and I yanked my hands back, leaving a wispy trail of flames as I did so.

Something strange happened then. I might not have noticed had the rest of the yard not suddenly gone silent, but seemingly everyone was focused on the explosion that had just taken off Honey's dad's head. Even Celestia was currently standing with her mouth agape. Blackbeard however was folded over cackling, which I took as a point of pride.

Goldflame was standing, however, which I thought was strange considering I'd blown his head up. He swayed for a moment before slamming one of his forehooves down in a manner that seemed hauntingly similar to back when Honey'd first arrested me and I magicked her to sleep.

Then he hissed out a chestful of air and the smoke was dispersed. The sight of him caused the goons Blackbeard had brought to shiver, and most of the crowd either collapsed or took off for the exits.

His eye was closed, but he was still very much alive. I use the singular this time as, while his mane was gone, his right eye was too. Most of his face was. The teeth he still had were exposed due to the sides of his mouth and his lips being blown off. His half-charred tongue worked for a moment before his somehow still intact jaw clamped shut and he heaved a gout of hot steam from his throat. Then his eye slowly opened and he looked up at my illusion.

"Huh," I murmured, causing his eye to then snap to my now visible ass. Following my gut's insistence that proximity to him was a bad idea, I Dimension Door'd across the grounds away from him. The high-pitched shriek I now associated with his sword whipping through the air proved I'd made a good decision.

The second I reappeared, I threw up a Shield and turned just in time to see him rocketing toward me. I raised my hand and prepared to hit him with another spell but then Blackbeard suddenly leaped between us and cocked his arm back. Goldflame let out a gurgling growl as he slid to a halt, giving him a narrow chance to roll aside as Blackbeard's fist came crashing down like a meteorite. The tiles under us cracked and then exploded out in a wave of earth, throwing me off balance. Luckily, however, as I was sent sprawling, I managed to avoid the sudden spear of black crystal that shot forward through the air I'd previously been inhabiting.

"You're mine!" Sombra yelled as he turned to smoke and rolled towards me. I looked over at him in shock before-

"Master Victor! Help!" I jolted at the familiar voice that now drew my attention to the second story of the house. There, alone, I saw Sneaky's head hanging off the side of the balcony with the rest of her clearly tied up. "It's me! Your first and favorite servant!"

"Sneaky?!" I squawked. Just then, a shadow fell over me.

"Die!" Sombra bellowed as he reformed, with a half dozen spikes of black crystal forming out of the darkness that flowed from him.

"Ah! Magic Missile!" I screamed, thrusting my hands at him. To my surprise, three bolts of magic shot up and nailed him in the face, causing him to recoil with a squeal. He threw himself back, kicking his forelegs as the magic scorched his face, causing his spears to dissipate just before he fell onto his back at which point he rolled around with his forehooves hooked onto his face.

"Aw, this is perfect! They're all bunched together!" I turned again to see Twilight and company lined up. The purple unicorn's horn lit up and from her saddlebags, the Elements of Harmony came floating. I choked and then hit myself with Haste and Fly, before lurching to a sitting position and then bolting into the air.

"He can fly?!" The pink one squealed as the six looked up in surprise.

"Heads up!" The rainbow-headed one yelled, snapping their attention back to earth just in time for them to scream and scatter out of the way of Sombra, who Blackbeard had taken and hurled at them. I sighed hard once the threat of their bullshit friendship powers was momentarily neutralized, but as I turned to look down at Honeysuckle, who was sitting under the balcony looking at the entire scene in shock, I lurched again.
Goldflame was in the air with me.

My haste spell and superior flying ability were all that saved me as I sped backward away from him. I swear to God, the air around him seemed to dim from the flash of his sword scything through where I had just been. I continued to fly back toward the forest as we had originally planned, pausing for just a brief instant to consider him as he fell. I picked up speed again when he lighted upon the corner of the villa roof and then shot toward me, sending roof tiles scattering in his wake.

Despite my magically enhanced speed, he was able to keep up with me until he finally arched toward the ground, at which point he began bounding across the open field after me. Every step seemed to propel him dozens upon dozens of feet, and my shield began to reverberate as I crashed through branches and trees. Regardless of the debris that began to fall and act as a sight block, he kept after me, somehow able to predict my flight path even when I dipped closer to the ground and began darting through the thick underbrush.

During a particularly lengthy period where the plant life had obscured us from one another, I touched down and darted toward the meeting spot.

There, I hugged one of the trees and peeked around it, looking for any sign of him. The whole forest was quiet and I swallowed hard, praying to whoever would listen that he hadn't figured out what was wrong.

Suddenly, I was slammed into the tree from behind, drawing a shocked gasp from me. I barely had time to glance behind me and adjust before being stabbed right through.

"Imbécile, I don't need to see you to track and kill you," Goldflame rasped with some difficulty as he stood, reared up with his forehooves pinned against my back and his sword crammed into me. "I can hear your panicked breath and your claws. Quivering."

"That- Ah! That's why he asked me to draw your attention, imbécile," I hissed with a grim smirk. Goldflame recoiled, as Victor suddenly lit up in yellow flames, revealing a changeling. His sword was stabbed right through one of the changeling's chitin holes allowing them to slip free harmlessly before zipping skyward, leaving the shocked and angry unicorn behind. Slowly, Goldflame clacked his exposed teeth together with a hiss before slowly turning and looking around for any sign of Victor.

Then he paused as the trees suddenly vanished, leaving behind a sight that caused him to recoil.

The Frozen North

Outskirts of the Crystal Empire

Four days prior

I shuddered against the frigid wind screaming across the plains outside of the crystal city. Even with the winter gear atop my robe, the stark contrast between the magically protected city and the rest of the north was jarring. Just ahead of me and providing the light by which I was able to navigate, Sunset suddenly stopped.

"Ah-hah! Here we go," she declared, lighting up her horn and producing a yellow flame she then sent out and weaved across the snowy field ahead of us. The snow continued to fall, rapidly covering up her work, but it still granted a momentary glimpse at what we'd found.

"Jesus," I gasped, both from the cold and surprise at what she'd led me to. "Sure are a lot of them." I scanned the icy field before us, glancing back the way we'd come and shivering a little from how easy it would be to get lost. The field was nestled between two towering peaks, but the constant snowfall hid them from view until we were right between them.

"Due to the frigid nature of the region and the constant snow storms, it was near impossible to recover them all after the battle with Sombra and his goons back in the day," she explained with a nod. "These were left behind as a result." I huffed hard and nodded back.

"They'll do."

MASS MORPH

LEVEL 4

This spell can conceal up to one hundred men or one hundred near-man-sized creatures as false woods or orchards until dispelled either by command or magic.

ANIMATE DEAD

LEVEL 5

Animates one to six corpses per level of the caster. Animated bodies remain animated and obey the caster until destroyed or the spell is dispelled.

Goldflame's eye darted left and right as he took a low stance, bracing for the approaching horde of who knew how many stiff and rotten zombified ponies. The armor they wore was rusted, but the design and faded emblems still visible confirmed in his mind these were the remnants of an ancient platoon that served Celestia and Luna one thousand years ago.

Where Fremont found them and how he revived them, he couldn't guess nor muster the strength to care. For now, they were in his way and the intent to kill was plainly written on their sunken and blackened faces and in the blue lights that made up their eyes.

He considered leaping over them, but frustratingly, a few zombified pegasi lurched into the air and began circling above like vultures. More distressingly, a few of the unicorns managed to tilt their heads at his sword and the magic holding it up. Then, they lit up their horns and grabbed rocks or fallen branches with their magic.

"Merde," Goldflame hissed in a throaty rumble.

"I almost got skewered!" My changeling companion complained as we flew through the forest towards the rest of the rescue team.

"You knew what you signed up for!" I shot back as we dived down to the clearing where the airship was resting and the rest of the team was waiting. Snowpea, Violence, Turnip, six of our burlier cultists, twice that many changelings, and Sunset all stood on the deck of the airship watching the treetops for us and then jolting upon spotting us.

We dove down and landed on the deck in the midst of them and I turned while gesturing in the direction we'd come from. "Alright, Goldflame's been isolated, but we're not out of the woods yet," I declared. "I'm pretty sure Double's dead, but the place is a lot livelier than I expected. Namely, Twilight and the other Elements were there." The ponies and changelings all wilted at my words, but Sunset furrowed her brow.

"Was Celestia?" She asked in an even and low tone, causing me to pause.

"Yeah. She- She was," I finally replied. Her eyes fell to the deck as a tense quiet fell over the forest. Before I could say anything, however, a weird, tingling explosion rang through the air like a metric ton of glass smashing to the ground.

"The heck was that?" Turnip gasped as all eyes snapped in the direction of the villa.

"Blackbeard probably," I sighed, adjusting my robe with a shrug. "Or Sombra. They're both there, too." An anxious squeak rang up from the group as they all looked at me in horror. At the very least, the revelation snapped Sunset out of her brooding.

"Oh, goody! Well, that should give us some cover," she declared with a curt laugh before fixing me with a firm look. "What spells do you still have left?"

"A second Magic Missile, a second Shield, Darkness," I explained, counting the spells off on my fingers. "And Telekinesis." She recoiled at my reply.

"That's it?" She huffed.

"Used the rest trying to kill Goldflame," I explained.

"Ah, fair," she hummed with a nod before giving me a confident smirk. "Alright, let's go."

"Bitch!" Blackbeard roared as he tumbled through the air, only to stop suddenly and then be hurled higher this time. "Gonna strangle you!" Celestia darted up in tandem with the pirate, circling a safe distance away from him before lighting up her horn again and snatching him by the ankle.

"Going to stick my thumbs in your eyes and hold on until you are DEAD!" Blackbeard howled as she wrenched her whole head, heaving him further into the air as the pair cleared the clouds. "Stop it!"

Miles below in the villa, the Element-bearers ducked and dived around the hail of black crystals Sombra had blasted at them shortly after Celestia pulled Blackbeard off of him.

"Come on! While Celestia's juggling Blackbeard this is our chance to take out Sombra!" Twilight yelled over the panic of the crowd. In response, Sombra hissed and turned to smoke before billowing up and towering over them to scan the villa.

"Get away from me! Where's the bespectacled buffoon?" He roared. Just beyond him and under the balcony, Blueblood continued to tug at the train of Honeysuckle's dress.

"Come on! We need to get inside!" He begged, glancing around anxiously as Blackbeard's minions chased the guests around, and counting his blessings none of them had approached the pair. Honeysuckle continued to stare off in the direction her father had flown.

"He came for me?" She murmured, causing Blueblood to flinch.

"Who, Fremont?" He huffed before glancing in the direction the wizard had flown. "I guess! Now, come on!"

"Wait!" Another voice squealed, drawing his attention to the edge of the balcony above, where another mare was sitting with her head hooked down to look at him. "Take me with you!" The voice and sight snapped Honeysuckle out of her stupor and she glanced up at the stranger.

"Sneaky Salvage?" She huffed, causing Sneaky to scowl.

"I wasn't talking to you!" She spat. "You keep staring off into space!" Blueblood glanced between the two for a moment and raised a hoof as he prepared to speak, but before he had the chance, a resounding and tingling boom erupted at the center of the villa's yard, heralding the appearance of a massive cloud of reddish black smoke that sparkled and swirled much in the same way Sombra's shadow form did.

All eyes fell upon the new cloud as it rumbled and crackled before slowly sinking to the ground revealing a hooded figure. Many of Blackbeard's followers bolted for the exits at the sight, followed by most of the wedding's guests, but Bally Hoo and his assistant leered eagerly at the sight.

Then, the figure stepped toward Twilight and threw its hood back, revealing a blue unicorn with a nearly white mane. "Twilight Sparkle," the mare hissed with a dark grin. The sight and sound of her caused the Elements to recoil with a unified gasp.

"Trixie?" Twilight cried. Sombra furrowed his shadowy brow and reformed off to the side, watching the exchange with a purse-lipped frown as Trixie brought a hoof to her chest and the black and red amulet current hanging from her neck.

"The one and only!" She declared before fixing Twilight with a venomous smirk. "You and I have some unfinished business. My magic-"

"You're doing this now?!" Twilight shouted, throwing a hoof in the air as a few hairs of her mane snapped out of place. Trixie scoffed and shook her head.

"Why not? Don't tell me!" She jabbed a hoof at Twilight. "You're scared to see how much more powerful I've become." Sombra snorted and covered his mouth with a hoof. Twilight scowled at him before fixing her fury upon Trixie.

"We are literally dealing with a quartet of villains right now!" She snarled through clenched teeth, causing Sombra to clear his throat.

"Ah, I believe the correct term is King Sombra and a trio of villains?" He declared with a nod.

"And I believe the correct term is a quintet," Trixie added with a grin. Twilight glared at the pair as her friends shared a confused look.

"So, who do we-" Rainbow began only to be interrupted when something heavy slammed into the tiled ground, causing all the ponies to jump. Turning, they found a kicked-up cloud of dust that slowly settled to reveal a pair of humanoid booted feet sticking up out of the ground. As they marveled at the sight, they jumped again when a white-hot ball of fire howled down into the space between the Elements and Trixie. Cinders danced through the air causing the amulet-adorned unicorn to recoil with a raised hoof. When the heat and light finally died down, she scowled at the phenomenon before wilting.

"So you're who took the amulet we were trying to locate and seal away," Celestia hummed as she loomed over Trixie with a close-eyed smile. She gently tapped the amulet around Trixie's neck with a hoof, which caused a slight creaking hiss like when metal is superheated. "I'd really appreciate you giving that to me." Trixie blinked and slowly looked the alicorn up and down, uncertain how to react to the fact her mane and tail were currently sagging off her like normal hair instead of whatever sort of magical material they normally were.

"No?" She finally squeaked in a raspy voice brought on by the sudden dry heat that had filled the villa.

"Oh, that wasn't a question," Celestia replied. Just then, Trixie squeaked when the heat caused her lip to crack.

"Trixie run," Rainbow murmured as she stood in horrified wonder.

"Trixe run," Twilight added, staring at Celestia with wide and terrified eyes.

"Trixe run," Sombra pressed with a firm, solemn nod, and an impressed frown. Trixie's ear twitched at the three of them, but her eyes remained locked on the alicorn before her. Suddenly, the ground cracked and Blackbeard exploded up behind Celestia.

With a feral and furious roar, he snapped forward and threw his arms around her body drawing a cry of shock from her as he then stomped his right foot forward and wrenched her up and over. The heat died as suddenly as it appeared and Blackbeard bent backward slamming Celestia down right on the top of her head, causing her eyes to go wide, her legs to stick out stiff and straight, and her tongue to shoot out. Several loose tiles across the villa popped up and flipped through the air from the force of his attack as everyone still present in the yard recoiled with a unified and sympathetic groan.

Blackbeard extended one leg and slowly rose back to his full height as Celestia slumped down onto her side. Standing up straight, the pirate sniffed and glared down at her before his eyes slowly fell upon Trixie. The little unicorn hugged the floor for a moment before scowling and shooting to her hooves.

"Who do you think you are?" She demanded, jabbing a hoof at him as her eyes flashed red. "The Great and Powerful Trixie needs nopony's assistance!" Blackbeard smirked and tilted his head with one hand resting on his hip.

"The Great and Powerful Who?" He chortled causing Trixie to recoil with a gasp.

"Trixie don't," Twilight urged, hanging her head and groaning when Trixie did anyway.

The amulet-adorned unicorn threw her head back and lit up her horn, which crackled with a mixed aura of faith blue and sharp red. With a shrill yawp, she swung her horn toward Blackbeard and blasted him in the face with a beam of red magic that produced a dull, bone-rumbling drone. Though his head was completely consumed, the pirate stood completely unfazed for the attack's duration, but when Trixie finally cut the spell, she smirked at its results. The rest of the observers looked in surprise at Blackbeard's now faintly steaming head.

For his part, as if sensing what had occurred, Blackbeard frowned evenly before reaching up and gently running his hand across his scalp, which was now bare. Slowly nodding, he traced his palm down until it reached his chin, which was also completely bare. The now utterly bald man slowly looked down at Trixie's smirking face.

"Trixie, right?" He hummed.

"The one and only," she hummed back, jutting her nose up at him and causing him to smirk back.

"Not for long," he replied.

"Can we just blast them?" Rainbow grumbled, throwing her head back in frustration. As a result, she was the first to notice and therefore the first to cry out. "Head's up!"

"What now?" Twilight groaned as she turned just in time to get smashed in the snout by Victor Fremont.

Twilight let out a squawk as she and most of her friends were swept aside by me as Sunset wielded me like a club. The rainbow-maned one was the only one who managed to evade the attack, but before she or anyone else could follow up, I swept my hands out.

"Darkness!" I hollered in my best fire-and-brimstone preacher voice. My spell didn't flow out, and instead the space around me just suddenly went dark, to the shock of all those caught in its radius. Sunset released her magical grip on me and I flew forward, past Blackbeard toward Honeysuckle as he and the ponies all groped around and voiced their displeasure.

"You!" Sombra roared before launching himself right at me. My haste spell kept me out of his reach until we were clear of the darkness, at which point I whirled around and shot him with another Magic Missile. He came to a screeching halt and hit the deck, causing the spell to shoot into the darkness and pop as it struck something. As Sombra glanced back with a concerned frown, I flew on straight for Honeysuckle, not even pausing when I heard the voice of who I'd shot.

"Okay," Blackbeard hummed in a thoroughly frustrated tone. Ignoring the sinking feeling his tone gave me, I swooped forward and landed right in front of Honeysuckle, causing the snooty-looking guy beside her to wilt. She looked up at me in shock as I nodded my head toward one of the exits.

"C'mon, we gotta dip," I pressed. She stared at me in silence for a moment before shaking her head.

"You came for me?" She asked.

"Yeah," I replied with a nod.

"Why?" She asked again.

"Sugarplum asked me to," I declared causing her to frown, so I gave her a severe look. "And having met your dad and heard about him from Snowpea, I think I can put two-and-two together on where your bad dreams are coming from." Her jaw dropped slightly and she recoiled with a quiet gasp. The snob beside her furrowed his brow as he looked between us, but before anyone could say anything, Sneaky squealed.

"Master Victor, look out!" She cried, causing me to look up and to the side. As a result, I saw the weird canister that was thrown at my head before it nailed me. On reflex, I recoiled and threw my hands up, which saved me from being blinded when it exploded on my shield. "See? I saved you! Help!" I looked up at her with an annoyed huff before glancing down at Honeysuckle who was swaying alongside the snob, who was blinking frantically. Scowling, I looked up in the direction the canister had come from before recoiling at the sight of a unicorn in fucking kill squad armor, gas mask and all.

"Aw, who the fuck is that?" I squealed, jabbing a finger at them before scooping up Honeysuckle. "Come on!" I flew straight up and snagged Sneaky by the ropes she was bound with.

"Sunset! Let's go!" I yelled, shooting toward the forest before being knocked off course when a spear of dark crystal nailed me in the head hard enough to cause my shield to reverberate.

"Stop running!" Sombra roared as he stamped a hoof and then launched into the air off a rapidly growing pillar of crystal.

"Fuck you! Magic Missile!" I yelled causing him to cry out and dive to the side and off his crystal. I smirked and then resumed my flight path just as all those I'd snared with my darkness emerged blinking into the daylight.

All except Sunset, which caused me to frown.

Not quite as hard as when I saw Blackbeard immediately sprint for the villa house itself and grab at its foundation. Just as the whole structure began to groan from his efforts, he was nailed in the side of the head by the death squad unicorn, who leaped in and dropped-kicked them with their rear hooves. Said attack didn't really faze him at all, but it did cause him to pause and look at them in surprise. I sighed in relief before turning my focus on the forest and shooting toward it.

Sneaky cooed and nuzzled against me as we soared. "Master Victor! I just knew-"

"Shove it," I spat, causing her to droop.

"Okay," she murmured.

"Where's Nettle?" I demanded as I dipped low and approached the treeline.

"Oh," she hummed glancing down to look back at the villa. "Uh, he was somewhere back there." As she scanned the field behind us, she inadvertently saw Honey, still dazed and murmuring, in my other arm.

"Wait! Why'd you grab her?!" She cried and thrashed.

"Silence, Slave," I hissed causing her to flinch. "Or I'll levy my curse upon ye." She flinched even harder and scrunched her muzzle but made no further argument. Moments later, we arrived at the meeting spot where Turnip and the other ponies waited alongside a host of spare me's and Sunset's who anxiously looked back the way we'd come.

"You got her? Nice work!" Turnip cheered as I touched down. "Doesn't look like you were followed either."

"Thank goodness," one of the Victors huffed to the relief of the other doubles. I set Sneaky and Honeysuckle down, the former of whom wilted at the sight of the other guard ponies with a horrified squeak.

"Sunset's still back there," I declared, causing the ponies to glance back at the villa. "Get these two to the ship." I turned and threw my hands out to the side.

"Changelings! With me!" I declared.

"Aw, man," the other Victor groaned.

Celestia groaned quietly as her head stopped spinning and the dull ache in her neck subsided. Slowly, she craned her head up before frowning upon finding herself in total darkness. Lighting her horn up, she scanned the dark for a moment before pausing upon seeing she wasn't alone.

"Sunny," she gasped as she locked eyes with Sunset Shimmer, who sat just before her. She considered the darkness for a moment before frowning. "Is this-" She slowly sat up and looked around, noticing a faint shimmering dome around her.

"Is this one of Sombra's tricks?" She huffed before turning back to Sunset, ignoring the faint shape she momentarily spied in the darkness nearby. Her former student looked her up and down before shaking her head.

"No, this is real," she declared, fixing Celestia with a weary scowl. "Vic blocked out the sun in this space for a little bit while he gets Funnysuckle out of here." Celestia frowned at her words before her ear swiveled at the lack of any noise from beyond the darkness. In response, Sunset's horn shimmered and the dome around them flashed for a moment.

"I took the liberty of weaving a deafening spell around us," she explained, donning a bitter smirk. "Like the ones you used to use to keep our private talks from being overheard by all those nasty scheming ponies you were worried about hearing the super special mission you needed me to complete." Celestia briefly grimaced at Sunset's tone before a lengthy silence fell between them. Eventually, Sunset scoffed and shook her head.

"It's funny. I've spent all this time thinking up all the things I'd say to you if I ever saw you again," she grumbled, her head slowly hanging. "All the things I could say to shut you up and pierce right through that facade you wear when you talk to everypony." Her ears shot back as she hissed.

"But now?" She croaked before quietly chortling. "I'm honestly at a loss for words." Celestia clenched her eyes before reaching out to her.

"Sunny-"

"Don't 'Sunny' me," Sunset snapped, adopting a fiery glare. She stared death Celestia's way for a few moments before a dark smile broke across her features. "I'll bet this wedding going to Tartarus on your watch is going to make all the headlines." Celestia furrowed her brow at Sunset's words, causing the latter to smirk harder.

"You couldn't even help your own nephew save his marriage," she purred, jabbing a hoof at Celestia. "That's what I think ponies will say tomorrow." As Celestia pondered her words, Sunset looked her up and down.

"Maybe then they'll finally see you the way I do," she added in a bitter tone. Before Celestia could do more than grunt in response, Sunset tilted her head back with a smirk. "Not a half-bad start to my partnership with Vic."

Celestia gasped and recoiled. "You've allied with him?" Sunset wagged her eyebrows at the princess.

"Yep," she declared, popping her lips as she spoke before leaning in and sneering. "I'll be that stings—one of your so-called prized students joining in with one of your newest enemies." Celestia's ears snapped back as she spent a few moments considering her former student's tone, words, and expression.

"Yes," she finally whispered. "But not for the reason you think." Sunset snorted and looked off to the side, so Celestia again reached for her.

"Sunset, please, listen to me," she begged, shaking her head.

"I've listened to you enough," Sunset snapped, her attention shooting back to the alicorn as she jabbed a hoof at her. "Now, you listen to me." She took a few steps closer and glared into Celestia's eyes.

"I don't know what Vic's long-term scheme is, but it's pretty damned obvious it'll boil your blood," she said before smirking. "The guy makes ticking you off look easy." Her face fell into a harsh glare.

"So, I'm helping him," she declared, her tone becoming dire. "I'm going to help him every step of the way until he tears down everything you've built up." She winced for a moment and blinked a few times before jabbing another hoof at the princess.

"Then we'll see how you like it," she hissed. "Watching everything you worked so hard on get destroyed by somepony who used to be close to you." She stamped her hoof on the tiles beneath her and glared hard. In response, Celestia's expression softened and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Sunset's ears and lip twitched for a moment before she turned away.

"I don't care," she huffed before disappearing in a flash. Celestia considered the space Sunset had been standing on for a moment before her head hung low. As she sat there, she again noticed the faint shape in the darkness and lit her horn up to examine it, recoiling upon seeing who it was.

"Do I detect a degree of tension betwixt Her Majesty and the three-million-bit mare?" Bally Hoo hummed as he lay with his chin resting on a hoof. Celestia stared hard at him for a few moments before rising to her hooves. She considered the darkness for another moment before her horn lit up with renewed intensity, beating back the shadows in one go.

She scanned the villa grounds for a moment, taking in all that had happened after being stunned. While many of Blackbeard's cronies were still harassing the villa guards or guests, she noticed one lanky diamond dog loping away from the rest before slipping out of an exit. Sombra was nowhere to be seen, nor was the mare with the Alicorn Amulet. Or Sunset.

She winced at that last fact before turning and focusing on the creature who was still present: Blackbeard, currently engaged in a frantic grappling match with who she thought was Sundown, an agent of F.R.O.W.N. Despite his size and strength, the mare was able to scramble over him like an insect, giving Twilight and the other Element-bearers time to line up and redon their elements.

"Twilight Sparkle," she then declared, drawing their attention to her. Before Twilight could say anything, Celestia strode toward Blackbeard. "Pursue Victor Fremont."

The changelings and I were halfway to the villa when a flash of light burst in front of us. Recoiling from the sudden flash, I gasped in relief when I saw the source.

"Hey, Vic," Sunset said with a weary smile.

"Sunset!" I cheered before whiling around and thrusting a pointing finger back at the forest. "Fuck yeah! Vacate!" The changelings all sighed in relief before turning back into their normal forms and buzzing off at high speed.

"Thank the Hive Mother," one grumbled just before I turned back to Sunset.

"What happened? Where'd you go?" I asked, causing her to pause and frown.

"Nothing," she finally huffed, glancing back at the villa before trotting ahead. "Just needed some clear air." I watched her walk for a moment before glancing back at the villa myself and then blinking.

"Wizard. Hello," Nettle said with a wave.

"Hey," I murmured, weakly waving back.

"Where is Sneaky?" He asked.

I stammered for a moment before pointing back at the forest. "She's-"

"Fremont!" A frustratingly familiar voice suddenly shouted.

"Aw, fuck," I grunted, leaning to look past Nettle and see Twilight and company, lined up and elements ready.

"You're not getting away this time!" She shouted, stamping her hoof and lighting up her horn. "It's over!" I scowled hard as their jewelry began to glow and they were surrounded in a white light. Realizing what was happening, I blanched and turned before flying toward the forest.

I made it all of three feet before my spell ended and I hit the ground with a wheeze. Groaning, I rolled over to see Nettle reach down to help me up. Before I took his paw, however, I saw the Power Pony Party rising into the air with a whining rainbow orbiting them.

"Wait, wait, wait, WAIT, WAIT!" I cried, holding up my hands. "NO, NO, NO, NO!"

"Twilight Sparkle!" Someone else declared as they teleported nearby. "You're not getting away this time!" I looked at the new unicorn in shock.

"Trixie?!" Twilight cried in a vibrating voice that seemed to be a mix of her own voice and her friends as all six of them looked at the newcomer in shock. For my part, I rolled over to thrust a hand at the new unicorn.

"Telekinesis!" I screamed. My spell leaped off of my hand toward her in the shape of a comically large and disturbingly realistic version of my own hand. The new unicorn squawked as I firmly gripped her entire body. Then, rolling back with all my might, I hucked her at the floating ponies. "HWAH!"

The unicorn screamed as she arched at high speed toward the Element-bearers and upon colliding with their aura, all seven ponies cried out just before a deafening and screeching explosion split the air. The color of the world seemed to get blasted back for a moment before slowly being replaced by honest-to-God T.V static and then returning to normal.

I lay with both hands above my head for a moment as the ponies all fell to the ground. The Element-bearers all groaned as they rubbed their heads, and the new unicorn slowly wobbled to her feet. Then the ugly necklace she had on disintegrated.

She cried out and scooped up its ashes. "My! Amulet!" As she lay there aghast, Nettle helped me to my feet, causing her to look at me in horror. Blinking, I snapped my fingers and pointed at her.

"Sucks to suck," I declared before turning and sprinting for the woods with Nettle bounding beside me.

"Excue- Hey!" She screamed before giving chase. I glanced back at her as we slipped into the tree line. I couldn't hear her over my own heavy breathing, occasional and brief coughing fits, and footfalls, but she was practically leaping after us to shake her hooves at me.

Then Sunset popped up and blasted her in the side of the head, which caused the blue unicorn to tense up and then go limp. For reasons unknown to me, Sunset then scooped up the unconscious unicorn and took off after us.

My best guess was she was starting a collection of mentally unstable and distressed unicorns, but whatever the case, she caught up to us and then grabbed Nettle and me with her magic before teleporting us away.

Goldflame panted hard in a thick, wheezing manner as he trotted with his head hanging away from the horde of shambling corpses still after him. He glared hard back at them, especially those whose heads he'd removed or which otherwise should have been disabled. Most disturbing of all were the sheer sacks of skin he'd peeled off that seemed to take on new life all their own before rolling up and bouncing after him.

Whatever sorcery Fremont wielded was very unlike any the injured and exhausted old unicorn was familiar with. However, as he considered his pursuers, suddenly a mighty and towering wall of black crystal burst up, cutting them off. He grimaced at the sight before looking up to see Sombra, sitting atop the wall.

"The foul-mouthed magician is being pursued by the Elements of Harmony," the dark unicorn declared with a humph. "Thus, the timing for my revenge has been skewed somewhat."

"You spoiled everything," Goldflame rasped, drawing a scoff from Sombra.

"You say that like your scheme was anything worthwhile," he declared before slithering down as smoke and reforming beside Goldflame with a humph. "Not that I ever had a chance to hear it! What with you and your companions insisting on keeping me waiting!" Goldflame rolled his eye with a hissing sigh.

"I had intended to use your mind-controlling magic to ensnare the future ruler of Equestria," he explained, shaking his head. "We would use my daughter to lure him in, and then-" His face twitched and stung.

"Ah," he hissed before growling. "Fremont." Sombra considered him for a moment before nodding.

"Well, let's be optimistic," he offered, jabbing him in the shoulder. "Your stupid plan is ruined, so now we can do something more worthwhile!" Goldflame considered Sombra as he thrust a hoof in the air with a confident smirk.
"I never was one for ruling from the shadows. I prefer ponies to know exactly who is subjugating them," he declared, causing Goldflame to nod.

"Bien sûr, bien sûr," he murmured, tilting his head. "Well, may I take your tone and word choice to mean you are still willing to render us aid?"

"If for no other reason than to show you how a scheme for conquest is really done, certainly," Sombra declared with a firm nod. Goldflame gave him as good a smile as he could manage with his mangled face.

"Très bien," he whispered before turning and trotting away.

"Where are you going?" Sombra demanded.

"Stalliongrad before Celestia's henchponies beat me there," he replied, causing the dark unicorn to choke.

"Do you expect-"

"To trot the whole way?" Goldflame hummed before nodding. "Oui." Sombra recoiled before smirking and trotting up beside his companion. As they walked, Sombra considered Goldflame's charred features.

"You should probably get that mended," he said, drawing Goldflame's attention. Sombra grimaced before tearing a length of cloth from his cape and draping it over Goldflame's face. "Or at least hide it from my sight." Goldflame huffed before using his magic to fix the cloth across the right side of his face and his mouth.

"I've had worse," he grunted.

"Somehow, I doubt that," Sombra hummed.

Author's Note

Also, since some folks have noticed, have this concept of an exchange.

V.F "So you said Trixie has a cursed amulet on right?"

DM. "Ye, and she's-"

V.F "Like, cursed as in the elements would probably break it or something?"

DM. *checks notes* "Ah, yeah, probably."

V.F "Can I telekinetically throw her into the elements field?"

DM. *Furrows brow as they read notes* "..Huh."

Chapter 25

The Realm Between

Meta-Cosmos Sector 6

Discord's House

The receiving room of Discord's house was quiet save for the ticking of the deliberately improperly set clock and the sound of Discord snoring as he napped upon his couch. Despite being the residence of the former Lord of Chaos, the home was mostly free of anything weird or magical. Instead, it was kept in a more mundane sort of disorder, with dust cacking the floor, empty chip bags and bottles strewn about, all the little pictures and photos faced away from the room, and the furniture all set at a thirty-degree angle away from the walls, which themselves were plastered with mismatched wallpaper.

Suddenly, a knock came at the door. Discord snorted and craned his head up, blinking as he furrowed his brow and looked around. When the door knocked again, he turned toward it.

"Who is it?" He called with a yawn as he slowly swept his legs out to stand up.

"Goons," came the response.

"Who?" He asked with a bewildered frown as he approached the door.

"Hired Goons," they replied.

"Hired Goons?" Discord muttered as he turned the door handle and opened the door. He didn't even have a chance to register who was on the other side before two sets of arms reached in and grabbed him. With a shout, Discord was yanked out of his house. In his wake, a single bald and green figure peeked inside and glanced around the living room before adjusting his tie and slipping back out, closing the door behind him.

After a short and disorienting trip, during which a black bag was thrown over Discord's head, he was thrown through another door and into a long and plain waiting room. Blinking as the bag was removed, he grimaced and then sighed before taking a seat in one of the plastic chairs lining either wall. Knitting his claws together as he waited, he looked around the room, taking in the even-paneled walls, the gentle trumpet playing from the radio beyond the closed front desk window, and the quiet hum of the spinning fan overhead.

Just above one of the fake plants at the corner of the room was a poster displaying a kitten with too many eyes hanging from a branch with the words 'Hang in there!' written in nearly indecipherable language. Another poster displayed a smirking mechanical humanoid, dressed in a sharp black suit. The text beneath the image read 'WANTED' in very plain language. Humming quietly, Discord's attention fell upon the only other being present in the room, who was currently sitting on the row of chairs across from him.

The figure, a scruffy, bearded human in blue robes with a matching pointy blue hat, was focused solely on the notebook he was currently scribbling in. Suddenly, he glanced up at Discord. The two stared at each other for a few moments before the robed figure looked around the rest of the room a few times. Slowly tilting his head up with a suspicious leer, he finally stood up and made his way to the chair beside Discord.

"Hey," he said.

"Hello," Discord hummed. The scruffy man again glanced around the room before hooking one leg over the other and pulling the hem of his robe up.

"Think you could help me get this off?" He asked, gesturing to the boxy and mechanical bracelet hooked around his ankle. Discord furrowed his brow at the device and its tiny red blinking light before the front desk window slid open and the robed figure quickly sat up straight, hiding his ankle again.

"Mr. Discord, Winston will see you now," the receptionist droned before the window slid shut again. Discord threw his head back with a hard groan before standing and making his way to the door beside the window.

Immediately on the other side, he was greeted with a sight that caused him to groan again. At the end of the simply decorated office was a large beast composed almost exclusively of individual tentacles writhing together to form the vague shape of a creature with two arms. Said creature had a pair of cufflinks around its 'wrists' and a bow tie around its 'neck.' It sat at a thick wooden desk upon which several pens sat neatly arranged on either side of a thick, plaid folder upon which the creature currently had its 'hands' folded and resting.

In front of the desk were four chairs, only one of which was vacant. In the one just to the right of the vacant seat with a small sky blue alicorn mare with a snowy-white flowing aurora mane. She sat with her head twisted to scowl at Discord with her muzzle scrunched up. To her right was a dark-skinned human with curly black hair and an unkempt beard. He regarded Discord with a warm smile as he tipped the drink he was holding before sipping from its straw again. He wore a rough beige robe that reached down to his sandaled feet, and across his chest was a blue sash with dozens upon dozens of little plastic buttons related to dozens upon dozens of movements that had taken place across Earth's history.

To his right was his near-perfect contrast: A deathly pale, bald, sunken-eyed, and scowling figure in a red suit. He had a single button on his coat which read 'No.' All four figures tracked Discord as he slowly walked to the empty seat and sat down. He folded his claws before nodding at the creature behind the desk and then turning to the pony.

"So-"

"We're suing you," she declared, causing Discord to recoil and bob unevenly. He looked up at the creature behind the desk and then the other figures present. The man in robes shrugged.

"Well, Harmony and he are suing you," he explained, gesturing to the pony and the figure on his right. "My name's just on the realm lease, so." He shrugged again as he sipped from his cup. Discord blinked and then furrowed his brow.

"Why?" He huffed, at which the man in the suit leaned forward and jabbed a finger at him.

"You've plundered our realm for your mischief twice now," he wheezed in a rasping voice as if he was utterly deprived of clean air. A thin cloud of grey smoke rolled out with his words which the other man and the tentacle creature both waved their hands to clear away.

Discord blinked again and faced the creature behind the desk. "Is that illegal? Winston?" Winston raised one tentacled hand, but Harmony jabbed a hoof first.

"It is when you're using the souls you stole to continue causing chaos even though you're supposed to be retired!" She squealed, causing Discord to recoil.

"I am retired!" He chuckled nervously as he brought a claw to his chest. Winston gurgled and bubbled at his words before opening the folder on his desk.

"No! You're twisting all the codes and rules! Those two are raising all kinds of gosh-danged heck all across our realm on your behalf!" Harmony cried before turning to the two men and gently waving a hoof. "Pardon my language." Discord blanched and then looked off to the side as he folded his arms.

"That doesn't have anything to do with me," he grumbled. In response, Winston gurgled again as he leafed through the folder's contents, causing Discord to frown at him. "That's a bit of a stretch."

"It's actually right on the money," the man in the suit hissed, causing Discord to grimace.

"No! Look," he huffed and held his claws out before pausing and looking away. After a moment, he beamed and fixed the trio with a smug grin. "I can't honestly do anything about Teach because of the nature of our contract! I couldn't-"

"What about Victor?" Harmony demanded with an unimpressed frown. Discord's confidence melted away, and his arms sagged.

"Ah, uhm, you see," he murmured with his eyes darting side to side. For a moment, while all eyes were on him, only the sound of the robed man's sipping was heard until Discord finally gasped and snapped his claws. "Ah! He's already taken care of." Harmony recoiled and shook her head.

"How?" She demanded again. Discord fixed her with a smug and sinister grin before leaning in and explaining the situation. Harmony recoiled with a gasp while the robed man grimaced and shook his head. The grim man in the suit however burst into a rasping and hissing cackling fit.

"Ah, man," the robed man hummed with a sigh. "That's rough." While Harmony recovered and fixed Discord with a harsh scowl, Winston rubbed his 'chin' before opening a drawer and rooting around inside.

"That's a load of taffy! Pardon my language," the angry cosmic pony squealed, rearing up and kicking her forehooves at the spirit. "You can't just use that as an excuse not to deal with him!"

"'Course I can," Discord chirped, rubbing two talons together as he reclined with a smug leer. "Since technically, that is me dealing with him." Just then, Winston bubbled and slid a new paper toward him, causing Discord to freeze.

"In- In writing?" He huffed. In response, Winston gurgled and blubbered, making gestures with his tentacles, including making the shape of several butterflies. This last gesture caused Discord to frown. "What does she have to do with this?"

"Hey! Yeah!" Harmony cried, facing Discord and now donning a smug grin herself. "Put it in writing if you're so sure of your so-called method for dealing with him!" Discord's face fell as he locked eyes with her and then scanned the other figures present. Winston sat with his 'hands' folded again, and the suited figure leaned forward to leer incredulously at the spirit. Finally, Discord snorted and waved a claw.

"Fine! No biggie!" He hissed, scooting forward and snatching a pen from Winston's collection. He hastily spun the paper and scribbled his signature on its bottom before thrusting the pen and sheet at Winston. "There! I won't interfere with Fremont, and I'll just let nature take its course." As Winston nodded and added the paper to the folder, Discord whirled and jabbed Harmony in the nose.

"Because that was my plan all along," he spat, matching her scowl with one of his own. "And you can't prove otherwise."

Blackbeard heaved as Celestia and her puny partner continued to batter him. Just before he had fully regained his vision that the armored unicorn had robbed him of with one of her explosive canisters, Celestia flew in and slammed his chest with all four hooves. He tumbled head over heels but managed to catch himself after spinning a few times through the air. As he reeled and steadied himself, he scanned the villa yard with a snarl. Blueleaf was nowhere to be seen, as usual. The greater sum of his gang had fled. Goldflame was missing, and Fremont had flown the coop.

"What a damned waste of a day," he mentally muttered before returning his attention to the mares assaulting him. However, as he turned forward, he paused when his gaze momentarily fell upon a particular part of the yard where he'd left the strange flying thing that had attacked him before he arrived at the villa. Said thing was also nowhere to be seen despite how firmly he'd throttled it. "Where's the bold pup?"

Before he could mull that question over anymore, Celestia slammed into him, letting out a pulse of magic as they collided which forced his arms apart and prevented him from grappling her. As he lurched, the princess kicked off of his chest, at which point her armored assistant dove under her and then whirled to sling another explosive into Blackbeard's eyes.

He was ready this time.

With a shout, he snapped his jaw open and seized the canister in his teeth, crushing it and causing its explosive contents to burst out on either side and away from him. The effect was, therefore, lessened, and being only partially blind meant that he saw the faint outline of Celestia as she again dove toward him.

His arms swept in, and one hand clasped around her neck and the other around the base of her horn. The princess let out a choked squawk as he pushed forward and squeezed with all his might. His hand burned when she attempted to light up her horn, as his monstrous grip managed to suppress the flow of magic at its base.

"Warned you," he hummed in a sing-song tone as he loomed over her and slowly brought his weight down, driving her to the ground as he strangled her.

"Princess!" The armored unicorn cried as she dove onto Blackbeard's back and hooked her hooves around his neck. She strained with all her might to choke him, but the pirate only cackled, applying more pressure to Celestia as she desperately flapped her wings and struggled to break his grip.

"'Scuse me!" Came a cry that drew Blackbeard's attention to the side. There, standing within arms reach, was Bally Hoo, with his assistant cowering behind him. The pegasus cleared his throat and nodded at Blackbeard. "You came here to kill Goldflame, do I have that right?" Sundown continued attempting to choke the pirate out but glared at the journalist. Celestia gasped and weakly thrashed but turned just enough to see Bally, wincing as Blackbeard chortled.

"Correct," he huffed before baring his teeth and growling. "Quite literally my only plan for today!" He faced Celestia and squeezed harder, drawing a stifled cry from her.

"So I'm sure you can appreciate how frustrating it is to have so many folk come between me and that plan, hey?" He growled, fixing Celestia with a dire grin. His smile vanished, and he turned back to Bally when the latter stepped up and tapped his arm, an action that caused Sundown to sputter and lose her grip before tumbling off.

"Surely! Surely," Bally hummed as he patted the pirate. "But ah, perhaps you haven't considered that you're not the only one with a grudge against him?" Blackbeard furrowed his brow at the pegasus, who nodded and held a hoof out to him.

"In case most of what was said didn't properly click for you, I'll put it plainly," he began, rolling his hoof toward the empty villa. "Mr. Goldflame is the head of a very unsavory band of ponies that nopony reasonable cares for. And this whole wedding was plainly part of some scheme of theirs to place themselves in a position of authority over the whole of Equestria."

Blackbeard's eyes darted around for a moment before locking on Bally again. However, Celestia managed to gasp a breath as his grip relaxed ever so slightly. "So?"

"So!" Bally chirped, leaning in with a wry smile. "Perhaps the fresher grudge against Goldflame might supersede the longstanding grudge against the princess?" He spread his wings and raised a hoof again.

"Or to put it another way!" He winked. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Blackbeard choked a gasp as he recoiled.

"You're kidding," he grunted, wilting when the pony nodded.

"Haven't you heard the news?" He asked, leaning in and tilting his head. "Even Discord, the original Lord of Chaos, has been given a second chance!" He winked again and poked Blackbeard in the arm with his wing.

"And for far less benefit to the health of Equestrian society, might I add," he added, with a steady nod. "Far less benefit than you might offer if you were to offer your aid in bringing in Goldflame and his ilk." As Blackbeard leered at him in wonder, the pegasus reared up and firmly clacked his forehooves together.

"So! You get revenge on Goldflame, Equestria gets saved from the schemes of a band of mad tribalists," he declared and thrusted a hoof at Celestia. "And our princess gets to live another day! Everypony wins!" He waved his hooves out at his sides before setting them back down. Blackbeard marveled at him before wheezing a laugh.

"Everypony says he, ha!" He hummed and shook his head before smirking down at Celestia. "Well? What do you think?" The princess grimaced at him, taking careful breaths now that his grip had mostly eased up. However, all parties, suddenly looked up when Twilight and company appeared.

"Blackbeard!" Twilight cried as she and her friends lined up with their elements equipped. "Let. Her. Go." Blackbeard fixed her with a grim smile, but before he could respond in any way, Celestia extended a wing at Twilight. The unicorn flinched at the gesture as Blackbeard turned back to the princess.

"In this case only," she huffed, a steady grimace appearing on her features. "And given certain revelations." She sighed hard as the pirate smirked.

"I am open to discussion," she finally added.

The streets of the crystal city were alive with the scurrying and cheering crowds of ponies who had come out to welcome us home. I leaned over the airship rail and watched the crowds swarm below us, following our ship as it slowly drifted toward the plaza in front of my tower. The changelings we'd brought along had already disembarked and flew down to the tower where their kin were waiting.

"I can't believe it's true," Sneaky said, drawing my attention to my side where she and Nettle stood, looking down at the city and the tower. Her head whipped back and forth as she took in the sights. "I thought everypony was exaggerating when they said you conquered the Crystal Empire!" I snorted at her and stuck my nose up.

"What? You expected anything less?" I huffed, causing them to turn to me. I fixed them with a smug grin. "Haven't you been paying attention? My power has more than tripled since last we met." Sneaky's ear twitched and she offered a nervous grin while Nettle hummed with a nod.

"Seems so," he declared, examining the city again. "Nice city. Better than badlands fort." His mentioning of the fort brought up the memory of how we'd parted ways, which caused my confidence to waver. I hummed quietly and moved to speak, but was cut off when a pink blur suddenly snapped up beside the ship. Whirling around with a shout, I recoiled at the angry princess currently hovering beside me.

"You left her here alone!" Cadance screeched, jabbing a hoof at me as she fluttered closer. "A changeling! A QUEEN changeling!" She snarled and shot forward, almost touching noses.

"In a city full of pure love magic!" She all but gargled. I blinked and glanced across the deck at Sneaky, Nettle, and the crew, all of whom looked between us before looking away and carrying on with nervous expressions. As such, I cleared my throat and held a finger up between Cadance and myself.

"Nuh-uh, I left her here with you and Shindig," I explained, causing her to growl. "I knew if she tried something you'd kick her ass for me." She recoiled and shook her head.

"For you?" She grumbled. I shrugged with a nod.

"Well, really you'd do it to keep the city safe," I replied, adopting a smirk. "Still technically for me, yeah." She blinked and scowled as I leaned in and tapped her on the nose.

"Thanks, by the way," I added. Before she could respond or murderize me, as the look in her eyes suggested she was primed to do, the sound of hooves on the deck drew my attention behind me. "Hey. You sleep well?" Honeysuckle nodded with a stretch as she trotted up beside me.

"Very well, thank you," she replied with a smile before bowing to Cadance. "Princess." Cadance blinked at her and furrowed her brow before locking eyes with me. I smirked at her for a moment before noticing the uneasy look in her eyes. Before I could pry, she turned.

"Just hurry up and land," she demanded, beating her wings to take off from the ship. "Senator Ivory is waiting." We watched her soar down for a moment before sharing a look.

"What's her problem?" I asked, at which Honeysuckle hummed and nodded.

"Hélas, it is a common frustration of this day and age," she replied with a sigh. She pointed a hoof at me. "You." I flinched before smirking.

"You really did sleep well, huh?" I chortled, earning a chuckle from her as well.

"Here's to the success of Emperor Fremont!" Ivory cheered, carefully raising a glass to the rest of the throne room.

"Hear, hear!" The crowd of palace staff and honorary guests all cheered back. Up on his throne, Victor basked in their praise, rolling his hand to them with his head bowed and a smug grin plastered on his face. At his side was Honeysuckle, the mare he'd allegedly risked life and limb to rescue, the sight of whom caused Cadance to frown. She and Shining were on their own in a corner of the room, watching the celebration carry on.

Shining took a shallow breath as he examined the crowd, especially the changelings and their queen. "So, we've kind of aided and abetted an active terrorist, huh?"

"Yeah," Cadance murmured. Shining's ear swiveled at her absent tone and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"You don't seem too nettled by the fact Celestia's probably questioning what the heck we're doing," he said, looking his wife up and down as she stared ahead at the throne and its inhabitant. Her eyes drifted from Victor to Honeysuckle as the former stood and began some vain and self-aggrandizing spiel.

"He really put himself at risk to save her, huh?" She asked, furrowing her brow as Victor gestured to Honeysuckle, causing her to recoil. "I was sure he hated her." Honeysuckle jumped forward and jabbed a hoof at Victor before barking a slew of Prench insults his way.

"I'm pretty sure he does," Shining replied, nodding at the display. Cadance frowned at his words.

"Yeah, but," she hummed, watching as Honeysuckle whirled around and kicked Victor in the side of the leg, causing him to hop in place with a shout. "He didn't want her to fall into Goldflame's clutches." She tilted her head as Victor cocked back a hand and seemed to be charging a spell that caused Honeysuckle to cry out and scramble for cover. The crowd had fallen from cheers to calling for the pair to stop.

"And purely because she seemed all distressed about it," Cadance added with a slight nod as a flash of light went off between Victor and Honeysuckle. In its wake stood Sunset Shimmer, who held up a hoof and said something to Victor.

"Yeah?" Shining replied, furrowing his brow as the changeling queen trotted up behind Victor as well. "So?" Cadance winced and shook her head with a hearty sigh.

"I really, really, really hate to admit it," she huffed as Victor glanced all around himself at the set of mares who'd approached him and then at the pegasus who suddenly fluttered up beside him. "I think I kinda misjudged him, maybe just a little." Shining gawped at his wife for a moment as Victor brought his hands up with a nod before gesturing to one of the doors at the side of the room.

"You're kidding," Shining huffed.

"I wish," Cadance sighed, shaking her head and leering at the wizard, who said a farewell to the crowd before making his way out of the room with the queen, Honeysuckle, Sunset, and the pegasus. As they withdrew, Victor nodded at Sash who nodded back before slipping out of a different door. "I think deep down there's a decent creature in that crusty grimy heart of his." She turned to Shining with a meager smile.

"And if that's true, maybe that's why the Crystal Heart doesn't blow him up," she added, causing him to furrow his brow and consider the door Victor had just left through.

"Huh," she murmured before shaking his head and turning back to her. "So, like, what are you saying? Should we- Leave or?"

"Of course not," Cadance declared, shaking her head and casting an incredulous glance at the door as the crowd mingled and murmured. "Like I said, I just think I misjudged him." She narrowed her eyes and turned to Shining.

"This could all be a ploy," she said, looking up at the vaulted ceilings of the throne room. "And even if it's not, this place is still my responsibility." She pondered the crystalline structure around her for a few moments before adopting a confident expression.

"I'm choosing to be optimistic," she declared, firmly stamping her hoof. "If he's being earnest and he has the empire's best interests at heart, then we can work with him for the benefit of everypony here." Shining nodded at her words and wore a proud smile until she snorted.

"And either way, I can't rest until I've finally gotten him good," she huffed, casting an angry glare at the door Victor had used.

"Finally what?" Shining asked, tilting his head. Cadance bristled her wings with a grumble.

"He thinks he's so clever and sharp," she hissed in a high-pitched voice, rocking her head for emphasis. She trotted past Shining for the main door. "Just you wait. I'll nail him with a zinger one of these days that'll leave him floored." Shining blinked and stood dumbstruck as she trotted away.

We made our way into a private sitting room with a table and chairs enough for everyone. I was the first to sit down and adjusted my robe with a sigh before gesturing to the rest of the chairs around the low table.

"Alright, Sash will be along soon with some writing stuff so we can handle this all official like," I declared as Sunset sat beside me. Honeysuckle had followed along with the intent of continuing her argument about my choice of words during my speech. Apparently 'poor, deprived, and miserable damsel' had been a less than appreciated descriptor for her. Sneaky had also trotted along for reasons I didn't understand yet. I'd wondered why Sunset had chosen this room specifically until I heard some muffled squealing and turned to see the funny blue unicorn she'd abducted, tied up and gagged in the corner of the room. Before I could ask, Apterygota stepped closer.

"Excellent! So! I think I've proven where my loyalties lie, yes?" She hummed, leaning in with a hopeful and wry grin. "Perhaps it's time we ratified our arrangement?" I raised a finger to reply but Sneaky shot forward and reared up on my leg.

"So! Like!" She squeaked, glancing at Apterygota. "Everypony sees she's a changeling, right? It's not just me?"
"Yes," Sunset, Honey, and I all replied. She blinked and furrowed her brow at me.

"And you're, like," she grunted, shaking her head. "Not freaked out by that?" Tery recoiled at her words, but I just shrugged.

"Not really?" I huffed. She blanched and leaned closer.

"You know how dangerous they are, right?" She whispered. I rolled my eyes, but once again before I could reply, Honeysuckle stepped up.

"I'm kind of shocked you're acting so chummy now," she hummed, looking her up and down. "I heard from his followers that you and that dog turned tail and ran the second things looked bad." I winced at her words, but Sneaky gasped.

"Well! I mean!" She squeaked before fixing me with a nervous grin.

"We can let bygones be bygones, right?" She asked, causing me to flinch. She tilted her head. "Master Victor?" Who would have guessed I'd get cut off again? This time, Tery snapped forward and beside Sneaky causing her to jump away with a shout.

"Discuss how you can make up such a betrayal to him later," she hissed before fixing me with a warm smile. "He and I have a treaty to discuss." Sneaky shook for a moment before stamping her hoof and spreading her wings.

"Hey! I was Master Victor's first servant, so I have seniority!" She cried. Tery rolled her eyes and turned to argue, but Sunset teleported between them.

"Seniority, schmeniority, you can both take a hike," she declared, nodding her head at me. "Vic and I need to debrief and discuss our next move against Celestia first." I pinched the bridge of my nose as Honeysuckle barked a laugh.

"Oh please!" She huffed, trotting up and shaking her head. "As grateful as I am that you helped him rescue me, you clearly don't know as much about him as you think." Sunset flinched at her and furrowed her brow as Honey turned to me with a nod.

"You're not in any hurry to go fighting the princess at all, are you?" She asked causing me to adopt a drawn frown and look to the side.

"Well," I murmured.

"See?" Honeysuckle said, shooting Sunset a smug grin. The yellow unicorn recoiled before snarling and then all hell broke loose. All four of them began barking and shouting at each other, jabbing and stomping hooves as they argued. A few times they'd gesture my way which only inflamed the arguing further. Watching them for a moment, I slowly sank into my seat and sighed hard.

"Man," I grumbled, causing them to pause and turn their attention to me.

"What's wrong, Buddy?" Sunset asked.

"Just," I murmured, shaking my head and looking forward away from them. "Bemoaning. Pondering." I rested my head on my hand as they shared a look.

"What?" Sneaky asked.

"Like, is it too much to ask for a two-legged crazy chick to pop up and fight for my attention?" I grumbled. Sunset recoiled at my muttering as did Honeysuckle, while Sneaky blinked and tilted her head.

"Fight for-" Sunset stammered before snorting. "That's not-" Before she could finish her statement, the sound of changeling fire filled the air and we all turned toward Apterygota.

"How's this?" She asked. Truth is, it was only her voice that confirmed it was her. In her place, speaking with her voice, was a semi-human woman with a chitinous suit covering her arms up to the elbows, her legs up to the knees, and her torso down to below her hips. Her skin was strangely pale, her hair was still yellow and done in two thick braids that hung past her shoulders and her eyes and teeth were still obviously changeling in nature. But overall, it was a solid imitation.

"Buh," I managed, drawing a smile to her face. It was a very solid imitation. While the ponies blinked at her new form, she slinked closer and bent down before wrapping her arms around my neck.

"So? How about we settle our treaty first, hm?" She cooed, nuzzling my cheek. I choked and coughed before Sunset suddenly hopped forward and wrenched her off of me with her magic.

"Hey! Get your claws off him!" She demanded. Tery recoiled before shooting her a smirk.

"What's the problem?" She asked, leaning closer and humming at her. "Don't act all jealous now." Sunset rolled her eyes.
"Jealous? Please," she said, taking a daring step closer. "I'm looking out for my friend!" Tery narrowed her eyes as Sunset jabbed a hoof at her.

"And I know what your kind are like," she accused causing me to flinch and Tery to gasp.

"MY kind?!" She cried.

"YOUR kind!" Sunset insisted. Tery snarled and returned to her true form before the pair began hissing and throwing insults. As they argued, Honeysuckle and Sneaky shared a look.

"They are fighting over him?" Honey murmured before jolting slightly and waving a hoof at me. "No offense." I jolted now and shook my head.

"Shocking, but none taken," I hummed before returning my attention to Tery and Sunset.

"Hey!" Another voice suddenly cried out, drawing everyone's attention to the corner of the room. There, the silly blue unicorn was thrashing against her bonds. "Release Trixie this instant so she can exact her revenge!"

Sunset blinked and trotted over to her. "Oh, she got her mouth free. Hold on."

'Trixie' flinched and struggled to squirm away from her. "Ah! Wait! No!"

"Why'd you bring her along, again?" I asked as Sunset was nearly upon her. She paused and looked back at me.

"Huh? Oh, uh," she hummed and pursed her lips, looking over her prisoner for a moment before shrugging at me. "She's kind of a nice shade of blue, you know?" I furrowed my brow and looked Trixie over.

"Oh, fair," I finally declared, waving a hand at her. "Carry on."

Trixie cried out and struggled again. "No! You horrible whatever you are! You spoiled my revenge!"

"I did?" I huffed.

"Yes! I was in the perfect position to finally one-up Sparkle, and you just had to show up!" She screeched, managing to throw herself against the wall and into a sitting position. "You and that other whatever he is." She growled and stared death my way.

"But YOU destroyed my amulet!" She added with a hiss.

"False. The Elements of Harmony destroyed your amulet," I corrected. Trixie flinched before snarling her teeth, while Sunset hummed and turned to her.

"One-up Sparkle? Do you mean Twilight Sparkle?" She asked. Trixie wilted from her for a moment, looking her up and down.

"Yes? Why?" She murmured, tilting her head away with a curious look. "Did she ruin your career too?"

"Basically," Sunset huffed, rolling her eyes before fixing Trixie with a smirk. "Guess that means you're in good company, huh?"

The blue unicorn blinked at her words. "What?" Sunset nodded and gestured to the rest of us.

"Pretty much this whole outfit is going to be butting heads with Sparkle," she explained, pointing at Honeysuckle specifically. "Heck, we risked getting into a fight with her and her friends just to rescue Prenchy over there." Honeysuckle recoiled with a humph.

"You-" Tery's shocked tone snapped my attention to her. "You're going to be fighting the Elements of Harmony? Again?" I blinked at her anxious look and shrugged.

"Not if I can help it," I hummed, folding my hands over my stomach. "But they've been after me for a little bit." She wilted a little and I winked.

"Pretty sure our magical love item counters theirs though," I added, causing her to furrow her brow in thought. Sunset perked up at my words and turned to Trixie.

"Which makes this the perfect place to scheme and plot against them," she offered, nodding at her captive. "Get it?" Trixie balked at her question.

"I," she muttered and looked down in thought. "Hm."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sneaky suddenly squealed, waving her hooves. "Let's back up!" She whirled around and fixed me with a desperate frown.

"You're not seriously planning on picking more fights with the Elements, are you?" She gasped.

"I-" Tery snapped forward at me.

"If that's your intention then we need to discuss what part you expect my hive to have in such an operation," she huffed, before turning her head. Flames jumped up her body, returning her to her human form just before she sprang forward and wrapped her arms around me again as she fixed me with a warm doe-eyed smile. "Which I'd really prefer to be negligible."

"Hoh," I heaved. Just then, Tery's hair was yanked back, drawing a cry from her as Sunset pulled her off me.

"I already told you once! Stop trying to manipulate him through his baser instincts!" She hissed, at which Tery turned back into her true form and whirled around with a snarl.

"I'll give you baser instincts!" She hissed. The door flew open right as they dove at each other.

"Sorry I'm late! Couldn't find my pen and-" I offered Sash a smile and a wave as he looked over the chaos unfolding between us with confusion. "Oh dear."

Celestia sat on one of the highest balconies the castle had, with her gaze fixed westward. Despite the fact the moon was already halfway across the sky, she was unable to put her mind at ease enough to fall asleep. Her eyes drifted across each distant shape across the horizon, all her thoughts fixed upon finding where Goldflame had fled to.

As she pondered the horizon with an even expression, the sound of hooves behind her snapped her out of her trance and reminded her of the other troubles she'd soon have to deal with—Namely, several confused and unhappy ponies as well as a certain guest and his cohorts, who were the reason for the ponies' unhappiness.

"So," Luna hummed as she trotted up and sat beside Celestia, before fixing her attention westward as well. "He is here." Celestia's ear swiveled at her sister.

"We gave him a room," Luna added after a moment in a quieter tone. Celestia took a shallow and quiet breath.

"Yes, and tomorrow we will be holding a meeting to discuss the terms of what he refers to as a commission," she replied, furrowing her brow. "He compared this arrangement to a practice his people called 'privateering.'" Silence held the balcony for a moment.

"And," Luna eventually pressed, turning to her sister with her head slightly hanging. "You believe it wise to engage him in such a manner?" Celestia blinked and faced Luna.

"I believe I have made an error and turned a blind eye to a more serious threat," she explained, furrowing her brow and looking north.

"I misjudged Victor Fremont," she said, pausing and glancing down. "Rather, I misjudged the effect he would have if left to his own devices." Her attention again returned north.

"I finally understand what motivates him and, more importantly, why so many are willing to trust him," she hesitated and continued in a much quieter tone. "Even Sunset Shimmer." Luna blinked and her ears snapped back as Celestia turned to her with a weary frown.

"He is no villain. Not the sort we are used to, anyway," she continued, adopting a weak scowl as she recalled the conversations she had with Fremont. "He is self-interested, yes, but more dangerous is his willingness to put himself aside for others." Her eyes narrowed as she spoke.

"He is willing to use his power for the sake of another, so long as in exchange they give him what he lacks," she declared, glancing in the direction of the Sweat Leaf villa far, far below.

"He charged headlong into a host of his enemies for the sake of one pony," she said, shaking her head. "He confronted Goldflame, seemingly on his own, for the sake of that same pony." Her eyes locked with Luna's.

"He has no longterm goal. He has no plan," her tone became dire, almost sympathetic. "He only has his power and a dire need for recognition." She shook her head with a weak shrug.

"You said it yourself based on the dreams he shared with you," she sighed, gesturing to Luna with a wing. "He is afraid of being forgotten." Luna nodded slowly as she continued.

"And whether he realizes it or not, he is willing to go to great lengths for those he believes and hopes will remember him after he is gone," she cast her eyes down for a moment before turning north again. "And at this moment in time, at least one such pony has her eyes set on the destruction of all we have built." Luna's wings bristled at her words and her eyes fell north as well. Silence again held the balcony until she grunted.

"What in the world is Cadenza doing?" She huffed.