Once per Day

As I slowly slipped back to the waking world I was bombarded with a battery of thoughts and one overbearing sensation to combat them all. For starters, there was the fact that we probably weren't nearly as safe here with the cult as I initially believed. Nettle had pointed out the clear division amongst the congregants between those like Orgnar seeking to conquer Equestria, and whatever the hell Sash and the rest were after.

Then there was Pseudo. He, all by his lonesome, was a problem if only for the fact he gave us all the creeps.
We'd briefly considered hauling ass out of this place, but there were a few issues there. For instance, actually escaping unseen when there was only one bridge out of this flooded valley. Secondly, the cult might give chase, and there was no way in hell Honeysuckle wasn't still out there.

We'd agreed there wasn't anything more we could do last night and so at my suggestion, the three of us invoked my special ability which was, once again, the most potent and relevant ability for just such a situation.
Attempt to sleep off our problems.

Turns out it was the right call as while all of yesterday's issues were right there waiting for me, my head was clearer now, and I had the benefit of the comfiest pillow I'd ever owned. The softness of it washed over me and wrestled my worries to the ground for a near-flawless victory by pin. I sighed with contentment and rolled my head into said pillow.

"Good morning, Avatar," it said.

"Mornin' Sash," I replied, sitting up and rubbing the back of my neck. Genuinely the best night's sleep I'd had in ages. "I see what Nettle was talking about." Sash flailed his legs as he attempted to roll to his hooves.

"I wish I understood it, but regardless I'm happy to help, Avatar," he grunted before hopping off my bed. "So! What's on the schedule today, sir?"

"Where's Nettle and Sneaky?" I asked once I realized we were alone.

"Ah, they scampered off about half an hour ago," he explained. "Sugarplum came and told them our sect of the Children was hosting breakfast in the southernmost cavern."

"Ah," I hummed and furrowed my brow. "Who's Sugarplum?"

"She was the mare attending you during our journey, you remember?" He said. I snapped my fingers and nodded.

"Right! Gotcha," I looked down at him and then at the stack of books on my nightstand. Pseudo had said there was something neat I missed in them, and I needed to select my spells for today anyhow. But, that just reminded me. "Pseudo wanted to talk about whatever his plans are now that I'm here." Sash tapped his hoof and shook his head.

"Ah-hah, unless I'm mistaken, Avatar-"

"Just Victor, please," I interjected, waving my hand. The sheep paused and frowned for a moment before nodding.

"Alright, Victor. Unless I'm mistaken, he said tomorrow or the next day," he continued, adopting a wry smile as he spoke. "In truth, there's no telling when that creature will be ready to discuss his plans with you. He relies on hidden and esoteric methods to determine when the time is right for such things."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he doesn't decide himself. He lets chaos decide for him," he explained and I furrowed my brow.

"How's he do that?"

"Oh, I couldn't say!" He replied with a chuckle. "But it always seems to happen at just the right juncture, so whatever it is must work!"

Pseudo rattled the pair of dice in his hands for a few seconds before casting them upon his desk and examining the results with a nod.

"Twelve six-sided die rolled," he grabbed one of the dice and quickly rolled it. "Three times. Looking for.." He reached into his robe and pulled out a single bit which he quickly flipped, caught, and slapped on the desk. Lifting his hand he nodded at the face of the coin.

"A sum greater than," he sighed as he pulled open one of his desk's drawers and drew out a bag of dice. Fishing out a fistful of them, he hastily cast them upon his desk and began counting the result of those which hadn't rolled off the desk. "Thirty-five. Let us begin."

He swept away most of the dice he'd thrown, leaving behind exactly twelve, and these he scooped up and then rolled. He leaned over his desk and scrutinized them before repeating the process two more times. Then he sighed in satisfaction.

"Not today, then," he clapped his hands and raised them in the air. "Praise chaos."

"Alright, so, I guess I just need to wait on him?" I grumbled, scratching my head and grabbing my books. "How's he keep things running like that?"

"Well, he doesn't really lead us. We mostly gather around individuals who are the most vocal or bold about agreed ideas," Sash explained with a shrug and a smile. "Orgnar and his cousin Yendrek for instance are the fiercest proponents for waging war against Equestria, so the rougher and more violent creatures here flock to them." I leveled a frown and my eyes shifted as I mulled over his words. A thought and possible answer to at least one of our problems suddenly popped into my head as a result.

"Okay, but what's stopping them from just, I dunno," I glanced at the door to make sure we weren't being listened in on before whispering. "Killing the other groups or killing Pseudo and taking over the whole cult?" Sash nodded in response.

"I'm not sure Pseudo would be opposed to that," he explained before tilting his head with a thoughtful frown. "He's very, er, go with the flow is how I've heard him described." I raised my eyebrows as a scheme began to form.
"So-"

"But I don't believe even Orgnar is stupid enough to try that," he added, shaking his head. "Part of why we believe Pseudo is a prophet of change is the things we've seen happen to those seeking him harm." He gave a hearty laugh and pointed a hoof.

"For example, there was this rough and tumble dragon who was eager to overthrow the Dragon Lord and attempted to kill Pseudo when he would not take action," he leaned forward with a wink. "A dust cloud rolled in just as he tried to breathe fire and he inhaled it before choking to death." I stared at him silently for a few moments as my scheme dissolved into nothing.

"Huh," I finally huffed. Before I could sink deeper into fear of whatever the hell Pseudo was, Sneaky and Nettle walked in. Sneaky had a plate of pancakes carefully balanced on her back, while Nettle came empty-handed.

"Sleep well? You missed breakfast," he asked, looking between me and Sash. "Sheep is good, yes?"

"Yes, very," I enthusiastically replied, drawing a blush from Sash. I raised an eyebrow as Sneaky hopped on her bed and scooted her plate beside her. She smiled until she saw me staring and then spread her wing between me and the plate.
"I'm not sharing," she said with a snarl. I held up my hands and shook my head.

"Hey, that's fine, but maybe you'd be willing to share if you learned anything while you two were with the rest of the gang?" I offered. Sneaky raised an eyebrow but kept her wing up.

"Most of the creatures we ate with think you're just the best thing since sliced bread, for starters," she explained with a snort, her expression twisting to a smirk. "A lot of them ran into issues with Equestrian high society specifically before they ran into that Pseudo creep."

"Creep!" Sash huffed, shaking his head in disapproval. I leveled a scowl at Sneaky who shrugged in response. Just behind me, I heard Nettle loudly recline on his bed with a sigh.

"Anyway, they're all convinced you're going to help them 'right the wrongs their social betters have wrought' and all that," she added taking a bite from her pancakes. Once she swallowed she continued. "I think you were aware of all that already though. I told you that plenty of Equestria's important ponies are jerks and get away with awful stuff, didn't I?"

I nodded and turned to Sash. "Yeah, and you mentioned something similar about the Children of Change," I said, scratching my chin. "Guess noble folk fucking over the common folk is pretty damned common." He recoiled with a scowl.

"Believe me, I know," Sash replied with a bitter grunt. "I was the head of the Vanhoover Executive Bureau of Administration, and worked directly under Baron Truffles." Sneaky and I shared a look.

"You were a noble?" She asked.

"Technically, no. Legally, yes," Sash explained with a sad smile and a nod. "I was granted my office by Baron Truffles' father, Celestia rest his soul. I've worked between the citizenry and the nobility for years, and done what I could to mitigate the less than savory actions the latter group has attempted to perform on the former." I leaned on my knees closer to him.

"So, why're you out here and not back in Vanhoover?" I blinked. "Wherever that is."

"Well, as I said, I did what I could to mitigate things, but," his expression turned even and his stare grew distant. He was silent for a few seconds. "I've come to realize the limitations of my office in that regard." Again, Sneaky and I shared a look but he spoke again before we could press.

"Here, however, we have a chance to make real and effective change," he declared stamping his hoof. "That's why I've granted Pseudo the greater share of my savings to fund this operation." A change swept over the sheep suddenly and his eyes turned steely as he paced the room.

"Orgnar and his ilk don't care about the common folk. They only desire power for themselves," he spat and shook his head with an angry bleat. "That is not the sort of change I seek. I seek to provide liberation if not justice to those my peers have trampled upon! Justice for the wrongdoings they have endured for far too long!"

He whirled around and jabbed his hoof at me. "For that, I have turned my back upon high society! For that, I gladly relinquish the small fortune I made while in office!" He nodded firmly and locked eyes with me. "For that, you have my unwavering support, Avatar. For Pseudo has confirmed you to be the key to all of these things." I stared at him in stunned silence before looking up at Sneaky. As Sash's attention was locked on me, he didn't see the grimace she was recoiling with. I cleared my throat.

"Uh, well-" But I was cut off as the unicorn from the cave, Sugarplum, came bursting into our room.

"Avatar!" She cried. "Orgnar and the warriors have returned!"

The courtyard was a practical riot as the entire cult had filed out to see the return of evidently one of the strongest members of the group. By the time we emerged, the whole congregation including Pseudo and another moose even larger than Orgnar had formed a semi-circle around the returning warriors. As if sensing our appearance, Pseudo turned and motioned me over to his side where Orgnar and the other moose were. As we approached, Psuedo also swept his hand at the rest of the cult and they all quieted down, allowing me to hear the conversation being held.

"The Avatar left you behind," the other moose grumbled, before glancing over his shoulder and seeing me. He paused for just an instant before turning back to Orgnar. "At the behest of that sheep." I furrowed my brow and looked at Pseudo who's eyes were forward. Orgnar snorted at the other moose's words.

"Don't be ridiculous, Yendrek! The Avatar's escape was my goal all along, for which I would have gladly given my life," he declared with a triumphant laugh. "But the fact that we managed to escape as well is surely also a sign of providence, Cousin."

"How did you manage to escape?" Pseudo asked holding one hand out. "I was under the impression you were in the custody of the Elements of Harmony." Orgnar smirked and winked at me.

"The Element of Magic thought she was clever and dared to match wits with me," he explained. "She made a grave error in doing so." I felt a change take hold of Pseudo and turned to see him share a look with Yendrek, the other moose.

"Explain," Yendrek demanded. I turned to see Sneaky, Nettle, and Sash at my side, the last of whom had his eyebrows raised in surprise. Orgnar chuckled darkly and nodded.

"She challenged me to a game of riddles, and agreed to let us go free if I won," he replied bearing a confident grin. "I stumped her with the classic, Cousin." Pseudo grunted and gently clasped his hands together.

"You did not ask her what you had in your pocket," Yendrek pressed with a firm frown.

"I did!" Orgnar boasted.

"Despite the fact we do not wear pants," Yendrek added, at which Orgnar paused and pursed his lips.

"Hum, you know? She said the same thing," he murmured before smirking again. "But all the same she surrendered immediately and let us all go!" My jaw dropped while Sash groaned and threw a hoof over his eyes. The cult all around us began whispering and murmuring at Orgnar's revelation.

"Interesting," Pseudo declared. I quickly pulled out my spell books and began flipping for my spells. Yendrek audibly groaned and shoved Orgnar.

"Cousin, I swear if we weren't blood," he grunted before jabbing a hoof at a griffon and then sweeping the same hoof skyward. "Get up there and have a look-see."

"What's the problem?" Orgnar muttered.

"It is possible they released you know you would lead them here," Pseudo explained.

"What! Don't be ridiculous!" Orgnar laughed.

"That was what I said," a diamond dog beside him murmured, drawing an angry glare from Orgnar.

"And I said keep quiet, fool!" He spat. I shook my head and focused on my magic.

Sleep, an easy one.

Magic Missile, another easy one.

Shield, which would make me super durable for twenty minutes.

And finally, Wizard Lock, my first second-level spell and effectively a stronger version of the Hold Portal spell. Since there're actually a few doors here, it seems handy, especially since it has no time limit. Granted, a magic user three tiers stronger than me can ignore it completely and I had a feeling Twilight Sparkle probably counted, but it'd still hold her non-magic-using friends at bay. And there was no way in HELL a dual-classing, sword-and-spell-wielding bitch like Honey was a better wizard than me.

I hoped.

"Intruders at the pass!" The griffin yelled, causing panic to sweep over the crowd and Orgnar.

"I see the hand of Chaos in this," Pseudo hummed, placing his own hand on Orgnar's shoulder. The shocked moose turned to face him. "How many soldiers did Equestria send to secure you?" Orgnar's eye widened and his ears slowly flopped back.

"I see," Pseudo hummed and held up one hand at me. "Avatar, with me if you please." I turned to Sneaky and Nettle.

"Go get our things ready," I whispered before spinning and dashing after Pseudo. He led the way to a stone ramp up to the top of the fort's wall where we both leaned on the battlements to spy what the griffin had seen.

At the far end of the valley and across the bridge was a gathering of little armored ponies with more slipping through the pass every second. I glanced back at the courtyard and compared the two groups visually.

"I think we've got them outnumbered at least," I murmured, noting that Nettle and Sneaky had made it back inside. Yendrek was giving orders to the warriors while Sash was in an argument with Orgnar.

"But many of our adherents are not warriors, and even less are capable magicians," Pseudo replied, tapping me on the shoulder. "And of course, the Elements of Harmony are there." I turned and scanned the army forming at the other end of the valley and spotted the ponies in question after a moment.

"Shit," I huffed. "I think-"

"Do you have a spell of protection prepared?" He suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Do you have a spell of protection prepared?" He repeated. I paused and furrowed my brow.

"Yeah?"

"Activate it," he said firmly. I stared at him for a moment and he turned to me. "Activate it."

"Why?" I asked. The only response I received was a sigh before all the air was shot from my lungs. I let out a wheezing gasp and clenched my jaw as I was thrown from the wall into the open air and then driven upwards.

"Gotcha now!" I heard a raspy voice cackle and felt something squeezing me from either side of my stomach. Turning my head as best I could realized I was being tackled through the air by the blue pegasus from Twilight's pack. She had her hooves locked around me and was hauling me at high speed away from the fort.

And right toward Twilight and Honeysuckle.

Gritting my teeth, I flipped on my shield and began hammering my magically protected elbow into the side of her neck. She grunted and strained and finally began to lose her grip, but by then it was too late and I found myself plunged into the ground, where she tumbled over me and slid away. Scrambling to my feet, I was immediately surrounded by a ring of spears.

"Shit," I hissed, slowly turning and bracing to just charge through the ring. As I did, the ring parted slightly and a certain pair of unicorns and their friends came trotting in to just beside where the rainbow-maned one had slid.

"Give it up," Twilight demanded. "The barrier might save you from the guard's spears, but I can still pin you!" I grimaced and my eyes darted between her and her friends, all of whom wore determined glares leveled my way.

Except Honeysuckle, who smirked and drew the sword I'd stolen which she then jabbed at me.

"Thought you were clever, but you see? All your schemes have come to nothing," she hissed with a low chuckle. I bared my teeth and scanned the crowd trying to think of something before I looked back at the fort, pausing at what I saw.

"Hey, don't act like he's the only reason things have been so tough!" Rainbow grumbled, calling my attention back to Twilight and the rest. They were all glaring at Honeysuckle, who recoiled and looked between all of them.

"Indeed! If you hadn't lost your composure we might have arrested this hooligan days ago!" The white one chided.

"You did not hear the things he was saying!" Honeysuckle replied with a desperate tone. She scowled and jabbed her sword at me again. "He is a horrible, vile little thing." Before I could retort, and boy howdy did I have a doozy prepped, Honeysuckle squeaked and recoiled. We both turned to see the orange one with the cowboy hat, who had just smacked her in the head.

"You calm down, Missy," she demanded with a snort before leveling a glare my way. "Ain't gonna have you draw this chase out again."

"I-!" Honeysuckle tried.

"Nope," the orange one interrupted.

"But!" Honey tried again.

"Nah." Honey pouted and looked away with a humph. I smirked and shrugged.

"Hey, let's be fair," I said, causing the orange one to raise an eyebrow. I gestured toward the bridge. "I think the chase is getting drawn out anyhow." She and the rest recoiled before scowling at me.

"Nice try," Twilight growled, lighting up her horn. "We aren't falling for that again."

"Incoming!" One of the guards yelled. Twilight's horn sputtered as she blanched and turned in tandem with her friends to see Orgnar, Yendrek, and plenty of other pissed-off creatures stampeding down the bridge. They'd been in such a hurry that one of the moose had actually blown part of the gate off and into the water. I smirked and immediately thrust my hand at Twilight, unleashing my sleep spell on her. As the runes leaped from my hand and spread across the crowd in a cone knocking out a handful of guards immediately, she and her friends all recoiled and strained against its effects like Honeysuckle had back in the jail.

"You-!" Twilight grunted, attempting to light her horn. If she had a counter for my spell, I wasn't waiting to find out and turned before plunging through the harmless circle of spears. "Stop him!" The guards were helpless to prevent my charge, but as I turned to rush for the bridge, my legs were magically pulled out from under me and my vision was obscured.

"NOT THIS TIME!" Honeysuckle screamed with all her might as she locked herself around my head. I stumbled and fell into the lake. Just before we both plunged under the tide, I heard Honey gasp. "Oopsie!"

We were tossed around by the flow of the lake into the dark cave opposite the side of the valley with the waterfall. Despite practically drowning us both, Honeysuckle refused to release me, keeping me blind and off-balance. So, far faster than I would have figured, we found ourselves vanishing into the darkness of the cave.

Some unknown span of time passed before we were suddenly spat up against a rough, sandy patch of mostly dry ground. Finally, Honeysuckle uncoiled from me and tumbled to my side as we both braced against the ground and hacked up the water we'd been breathing.

"I hate you with all of my heart," she gasped and gagged. "I want you to know that."

"Coulda fooled me with how tight you were hugging me," I gurgled, blinking and thanking God that her grip on my face had kept my glasses from floating away. Removing them and roughly wiping them on my sleeve, I got a look at the place we'd been dumped.

There was a crack in the ceiling above us through which light was streaming and reflecting off the moist cave walls. By that, I was able to get my bearings and see Honeysuckle coughing and sputtering a few feet away, as well as the portion of the fort's gate that had been hurled into the water. Her mane tunic sagged off of her and she shook her head roughly before glancing up at me.

"Maybe you should call it quits, Honey," I said with a smirk. "You're a little washed up."

"You think. You are. Funny," she panted, magically squeezing water from her mane.

"Your mom thought I was hilarious," I replied, slowly dragging myself to my feet.

"Vile. Little," she quivered and hissed, thrashing her head left and right as a rumbling growl built up and finally exploded into a shrieking roar.

"Oh-hoh-HOH! Definitely hit a nerve with that one!"

"Let's see how many nerves I can hit," she hissed and rolled her jaw before spitting off to the side. She scowled and looked me up and down before speaking again. "Dweeb."

The rushing of the water was the only sound that followed for a few seconds as she leveled a confident smirk at me.
"Huh?" I finally huffed, fixing her with an incredulous leer.

"You heard me, Nerd," she added, her smirk growing with every word. "Dork. Poindexter. Four-eyes."

"Are you joking?" I spat.

"Oh, you wish. I'm just calling it as I see it," she chuckled and shook her mane. "Which is about half as much as you must see with those big dopey window panes."

"I-"

"No wonder you've got such an oversized snout. How else could you hold up those things?" That did it. I recoiled and began choking before folding at the waist and falling into a cackling fit.

"Wh-! Why are you laughing?!" She demanded. I fell to my hands and knees before clutching my stomach. "What?!" I attempted to respond, but all that came out was stammering and more laughter. Honeysuckle snarled and whipped her sword out before stabbing it at me.

"Stop laughing! I am insulting you!" She yelled. I howled and beat my fist against the ground. I heard her sword rattle as she shook with indignation. "You horrible little-"

Croooak

We both flinched. Despite the tears in my eyes, I met Honeysuckle's and we turned in tandem to look further back along the cave we were in. Slowly, a huge, lumpy pale red toad with giant black bushy eyebrows knit together came slapping into the light.

"Quoi?" Honey squeaked. The monster croaked again and then opened its mouth. Fast as lightning, its tongue shot out and smacked me in the back. My shield rippled from the impact and the thing recoiled with a grimace.

"Holy shit!" I screamed, rolling over and hurling my magic missile at it.

The spell struck it in the belly, which gave like jelly and caused the monster to raise its eyebrows in surprise. The beam of light pressed further and further into the monster deforming its entire body until, suddenly, with a springy rubbery noise, its belly snapped back out and the spell shot back, nearly sheering my head off as it passed. I cried out and tumbled to the side.

"The hell was that?!"

"It is resistant to being pierced!" Honeysuckle replied.

"That wasn't piercing! That was magic!" I argued, scrambling to my feet and searching for something else to use against it. Honey groaned and stamped her hoof as she aimed her sword at the monster.

"Enfoiré! Will you just-" The creature croaked again and shot its tongue out. Rather than strike either of us directly, it worked its tongue around us like a snake or a noose and then crushed us together. "HUagh?!"

Honeysuckle's sword flipped through the air as we were dragged toward the monster. We both struggled but couldn't break free of its tongue, managing only to get my arm and her foreleg free. As I gripped the loose sandy ground, Honey began beating her hoof against my chest.

"Do something!" She screamed as the monster croaked happily. I struggled and looked around again before seeing the floating gate piece again. An idea popped into my head.

"Grab that door piece!" I screamed. "Use your magic!"

"Why?!"

"Do it!"

"Imbécile!" She yowled. She strained and reached with her magic, hauling the wood out of the water and all but hurling it at me. "Take it!" I managed to grab it just as the monster heaved and we were snapped towards its gaping maw.

It was a long shot, but nothing in the book said the door I magically locked had to have a frame. I thrust the door piece down passed my feet as the toad yanked me into its maw, and just as the piece passed its lips, I cast my Wizard Lock. The runes rolled off my hand and took on the shape of tiny versions of me with little toolkits. They rapidly hammered magical nails into the edges of the door before all turning and giving me a thumbs up. The door froze in place and held firm against the lining of the monster's throat.

The thing paused and blinked before its tongue unfurled and it tilted its head forward, allowing us to flop out. We both let out a grunt as we hit the ground, but we scrambled to our feet and hooves before scurrying back from the thing. We watched it together as it closed its mouth and frowned thoughtfully.

Then, it began hacking and clamping its mouth open and close. It slapped the side of its mouth, started licking the air, and continued hacking. It slowly reared back on its hind legs and flopped its forelegs in the air, hacking all the while as it slowly tumbled back. It rolled over and leaped into the water before sinking down and vanishing.

I fell back onto the ground and sat there as we both panted, eyes locked on the water where the monster vanished.

"What did you do?" Honey gasped.

"Wizard Lock," I replied.

"This means nothing to me," she muttered.

"Yeah, well-" I paused. My entire body had been drenched. I was drying out now, sure, but I had been completely submerged. I jumped to my feet and rushed away from Honey.

"What are you doing now?" She demanded. Ignoring her, I reached into the back of my belt and-

"FUCK," I roared as I pulled out seven soggy and ruined little books. I tried to wring them out but only succeeded in crumbling them further. I grimaced and suppressed a groan as the source of my power all but disintegrated between my fingers. I grit my teeth and moaned, praying that just like how they'd reappear if I misplaced them, they'd restore themselves too.

"I don't suppose you have something that will let us slip through that hole in the ceiling or back under the water?" Honey asked, trotting up beside me. I grunted and shrugged at which she hummed. "Well, guess we get moving then."

"Moving where?" I asked, turning to see her scanning the darkness the monster had emerged from. "I don't have anything to light the way, you know."

"We can use my horn for light, imbécile," she retorted, lighting up her horn as she spoke. She then stepped further away and paused. Her horn's light revealed a passageway along the water, but she just stood there and stuck her head up, pivoting her ears for a second before nodding. "The air is flowing this way. There should be an exit." She gestured me to follow and I frowned before doing so.

"How do you know that?"

"Officer's training," she explained with a shrug. "Of course, it wasn't a critical class, but I still wanted to make sure I excelled in all categories. Seems I made the right call."

I followed Honeysuckle's lead as we wound up following the underground river for a while. Eventually, it dipped under a rockface, and we were stuck traversing the tunnels. Despite this, she paused every now and again and felt the air again. Each time, she immediately carried on and despite my anxiety, we eventually saw light.

"Oh, thank God!" I cried and strode toward the light.

Shwing

Before pausing and looking down to see her glaring up at me with her sword aimed at my belly. As my shield had vanished well before we made it this far, I held up my hands which in hindsight was a mistake as she drove the sword closer in response.

"Uh-"

"Your barrier is gone and you are out of spells for today, right?" She more declared than asked. "Why else would you have to rely on me leading us out?" I swallowed hard but said nothing, which drew a grim smile from her face. She stepped to the side and snapped her sword toward the exit.

"March," she ordered. "Slowly." I did as she said and carefully walked passed her. Once she was behind me, I felt something slip from my belt. Looking back over my shoulder, I saw to my shock all seven of my books firmly rolled in her magic.

"So they do fix themselves," I mentally gasped. Of course, this revelation was too little, too late.

"And I'll just be holding on to these for now," she purred before scowling and stabbing her sword at me. "March!" I did as instructed and we stepped out into the badlands. She took a few steps forward and scanned the rocky expanse before nodding her head and urging me on.

"That way. We are heading to our rendezvous point," she ordered. "I set it on the off chance we all got separated during the raid."

"Oh, aren't you just the cleverest little thing," I grumbled as I continued walking.

"Merci," she chirped. We continued quietly for several minutes until we reached a dead tree set between three boulders. "Sit." I did as she ordered at which she smiled and gently tapped the top of my head with the flat of her blade.

"Good boy," she said. She kept her sword level with my belly but was otherwise completely still. Every little adjustment I made as I sat there she mirrored in some way with her sword, but still remained perfectly still. Despite that, however, she seemed to be straining. Not to hold her sword or her posture, no.

To hold back her laughter.

Every few seconds, she quietly snorted and her smile was constantly quivering as if any second now, she was going to erupt into a cackling fit to match my own from a short bit ago.

"Having fun?" I grumbled.

"An absolute jamboree, oui," she hissed with a giggle.

"Lieutenant!" A familiar voice came which caused me to groan. We both turned to see everyone rolling up to us, including Honeysuckle's goons. Two of them, at least, neither of whom looked too chipper.

"'Allo! Bonjour!" Honeysuckle cheered and nodded her head at me. "Look at what I caught!" Twilight sighed in relief as she and the rest of the ponies they'd attacked the fort with made it to us and surrounded me.

"Great work! The second you two disappeared, we started a retreat," she said, fixing me with an even stare. "That sleeping charm really threw off our offense plan." I swallowed at her tone.

"Well, seems like everypony made it out regardless," Honeysuckle replied, scanning the group as they aimed their spears my way. She paused. "Where is-"

"Turnip's gone AWOL," Snowpea squeaked, causing Honeysuckle to gasp.

"What? Why?" She asked. Twilight stepped up and shook her head.

"We can discuss that later," she said firmly before nodding at me. "We have a villain to bring in and a cult at our backs." She trotted up to me with her friends at her side. They fixed me with a set of sharp glares before Twilight's shifted to a friendly smile.

"Hello!" She chirped. I flinched and looked around before waving meekly.

"Hi?"

"That was a neat spell you used back there!" She laughed before her smile darkened. "I think I've got something similar."

"Ah-" Was all I could get out before her horn lit up and blasted me. I snorted and thrashed attempting to hold my hands up in defense, but found I couldn't move them very far at all. Blinking, I looked around to realize I was in another jail cell and my hands were locked in chains hooked to the wall I'd been sat against.

"He's awake," a voice declared. I looked forward to see no less than twelve pony guards outside my cell's bars. One of them, the speaker, turned to the one at the end of the line. "Alert the princess." The other guard saluted before galloping off out of sight.

"Shit."