Snowpea and Clipper stood outside the bars of my cell, their eyes shifting back and forth between Honeysuckle and myself as we engaged in a test of strength.

"Now, now, Goobèr," Honeysuckle mewed as I struggled against the magically floating toothbrush. "We have to get your teeth clean."

"I can handle it!" I gasped, gripping the instrument of terror with both hands. "My right hand's working fine again! Honest!"

"Oh, it's no trouble! Don't tell me you're still skittish about yesterday?" I glared at her, squinting the eye that had been jabbed and splashed with stingy toothpaste. "I told you, it was a spontaneous earthquake! Happens all the time."

"Lieutenant, there wasn't-" Before Snowpea could finish her statement, the entire dungeon rumbled. The four of us froze and looked at the ceiling, from which a few specks of dust and pebbles fell. After a moment, Honeysuckle stamped her hoof.

"HAH!" She shouted, jabbing her hoof at me. Clipper, Snowpea, and I stared at her as she held her triumphant pose for a few seconds before she flinched and ripped her hairnet off. "Right. Private, stay with the prisoner. I think whatever that was supersedes this directive."

"Yes, Ma'am," Clipper replied with a salute. Snowpea and Honeysuckle moved for the door to my cell and I held my hands out.

"What about breakfast?" I pleaded. Honeysuckle laughed aloud as she and Snowpea galloped out of sight. I grunted a sigh and shook my head. Clipper sat down and continued to try and read my book, screwing up his face and turning it over as I rolled onto my back.

He and I sat in silence for a few minutes as I thoughtfully drummed my stomach. Then, like lightning striking me in the brain, a thought appeared.

"Want me to explain it to you?" I casually offered. I saw Clipper pause through my peripheral and looked up at him, raising both eyebrows. "You seem pretty curious is all."

"Nice try, Pal," he snorted, clapping the book shut and stacking it with the others. "I know you're not allowed to have them."

"Sure, but I can read the symbols to you through the bars," I said. He pursed his lips and looked down at the stack. "Or not. No skin off my nose. I need to physically hold them to use 'em, you know?" He paused and tilted his head.

"Really?" He asked. When I nodded he furrowed his brow and studied the stack for a few moments. Finally, he nodded and approached the bars with my spell book. He opened it and pressed it against the bars. "What's this say?" He gestured to one line and I restrained a smirk upon seeing he'd opened to the second-tier list.

"That one is," I hummed and pursed my lips as I scanned the list for anything useful. "Levitate. It makes the caster float up at a slow pace and keeps lifting them for around an hour or so." He leaned forward slightly and squinted as he tried to read the shimmering runes.

"Huh. That's kinda dumb," he murmured before adjusting the book and looking at me. "What about the line under it?"

"Phantasmal Forces, which makes really convincing illusions," I explained, smirking as I found something especially handy. I quickly memorized and unleashed it.

"That's neat. And the next one?" He asked before jumping as my spell took hold, and I ripped the chains holding me back from the wall. Before he could escape, I snapped forward and seized him through the bars, hefting him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Strength. Greatly increases the caster's muscle mass," I explained with a dark grin, flexing one arm which strained the fabric of my short sleeve and caused him to squeak. "You follow me?"

"Heads up!" Rainbow shouted, calling everyone's attention skyward where more changelings came raining down from high above where the protective shield had once been. The girls swerved out of the dive-bombing creatures' path, continuing their mad gallop to the tower at the opposite end of the plaza.

"Guess you were right about Cadance," Applejack declared, leaning her head forward to catch up to Twilight. Once they were neck and neck, she gave the unicorn a remorseful smile. "Reckon we owe you an apology." Twilight shook her head in response.

"Forget about it! We just need to clear a path to the Elements!" She declared, glaring ahead at the rapidly expanding wall of changelings sneering and jeering as she and her friends approached.

"Right!" The rest yelled back. However, just as their unified cry rang out, the six slid to a halt as the line of changelings was suddenly engulfed in green flames which rolled up and left behind a horde of the girls' exact doubles.

"What the heck? How'd they do that!?" Rainbow gasped.

"They're changelings, remember?" Twilight replied, adopting a low stance and aiming her horn at the horde.

"They're changelings, remember?" The countless Twilight doubles added. She recoiled for a moment before scowling.

"Don't let them distract you and don't get separated!" She said taking up her stance again. Her friends nodded firmly and did likewise. Except for Fluttershy, who was so busy anxiously scanning the horde that she was the first to notice the looming shadow being cast over the plaza.

"What's that?" She nervously asked. Before anyone could respond or turn to her, there was a sudden eruption of debris and ichor as something huge and heavy slammed down into the changelings. Recoiling from the sight, the ponies gasped as a large bearded moose slowly stood to his full height, easily three times their size.

"Drat, just a batch of bugs," he rumbled, shaking his beard and grinding one of his gargantuan hooves into one of the creatures he'd crushed. The ponies and changelings all stood aghast at the beast as he hummed and scanned the entire plaza with an even, casual leer. "Guess I just gotta keep stomping till I find the real set, huh?" The changelings all bared their teeth while Twilight swallowed at his threat. Then, the moose took a single breath through his nose and let it out in a bone-shaking howl that was immediately followed by him sweeping his antlers low.

Despite the open battle taking place between the royal guard and the changeling invaders, the entire lower city paused as the horn-like roar echoed out from the castle's plaza. Changelings and guards alike cast a fearful glance toward the castle before steeling themselves and resuming their brawl.

The combination of chaotic happenings also meant none of them immediately noticed the motley band of mismatched creatures who came trotting right through the main gate of the city.

"Heavens above! Did you hear that?!" Sash quailed, his knife dropping from his jaws in the process.

"Sounds like Yendrek's laying into something," Orgnar replied with a snort before turning to the rest of the cult. "And that's where we need to be! Follow me!" The moose let out a comparatively weaker roar before charging toward the castle.

"Yendrek? How do you know that?! He ran off before we even made it to the gate!" Sash demanded, spinning about as many of the cult's warriors nearly trampled him to follow Orgnar. "And where's Pseudo?! He said to attack the city and he'd meet us inside!" The sheep let out an exasperated groan as he was ignored.

"Unbelievable," he muttered. However, before he could grumble more, a hissing buzz croaked out from behind him. Turning with a shiver, he wilted at the sight of a changeling diving through the air at him, only for it to be stabbed through the belly and driven to the ground with a spear.

"Grab that knife, Sash," Turnip ordered as he twisted and dislodged his spear. The stallion turned to the smaller cultists who hadn't followed Orgnar, and pointed at the unmoving creature beside him. "Changelings have tough shells so aim for the eyes and underbellies!" The ponies and single sheep around him swallowed at the sight but nodded and clutched their simple wooden spears and knives anxiously. Sugarplum looked over the group before stepping beside Turnip.

"You did this a lot while you were away, huh?" She asked with a severe quaver, avoiding looking directly at the changeling.

"This? No," Turnip replied, shaking his head and gesturing at the body. He took a short breath and adopted a confident smile. "But I've tussled with plenty of brigands since I left home. Just follow my lead." His smile wavered and gave way to a scowl as several distinctly nonchangeling yelps filled the air.

Turning, he saw Orgnar trample his way through a small circle of royal guards who were then pounced upon by the diamond dogs and griffins following the moose's wake. He winced and turned away, clenching his eyes shut as his fellow guardsponies were cut down. He suddenly felt all the weight of his armor, like when he'd first signed on a few years prior.

"Turnip?" His eyes shot open and he turned to meet Sugarplum's teary, uncertain eyes. She couldn't help but glance past him at the violence taking place, but her eyes kept snapping back to him as though he was an anchor amidst the chaos around them both. Scanning the rest of the group nearby, their eyes told a similar story.

"Aw, heck," he thought with a grimace. "I really don't have the luxury to hesitate anymore, do I, Uncle?" With that thought, he took a deep breath and furrowed his brow.

"Just follow my lead," he reiterated before turning and charging. He kept his eyes forward and his spear balanced on his shoulder, never once stopping to look back. And after just a moment, the sound of many following hooves met his ears. While Orgnar and his butchers were storming along Main Street, where plenty of ponies and changelings were fighting, Turnip banked right and led his group along the southeastern wall.

The fortification wrapped toward the mountain and where it met the rockface, there was a narrow stair leading up to the castle plaza. Turnip hadn't been involved with the Children for long, but he'd picked up that if anyone had an idea of where Pseudo had run off to, it would, unfortunately, be Yendrek.

"Least we'll show you up by beating you there, Orgnar," he thought with a bitter smirk. As the wall circled inward, he turned his head to make sure no one had been grabbed by any lurking changelings or guards. Luckily, as he expected, the fighting was focused toward the center of the city, and there wasn't anyone-

"Turnip?"

"Corporal?"

He jolted and slid to a halt before looking forward to find Snowpea, Violence, and the Lieutenant standing in his path, all wearing identical surprised expressions.

"Wha-" Was all he could utter before he was bowled over by the train of followers he'd been leading.

"What?" He heard Honeysuckle squawk over the groans and gripes of the pile resting atop himself. "You are in cahoots with these villains?" He scowled and grunted before prying himself free and staring her directly in the bangs.

"I am now after what I heard happened to Uncle Nectar," he replied, panting. He frowned and glanced back at Sugarplum, who managed to poke her head out from the pile but was too dazed to realize what was happening. "What Equestria let happen." Honeysuckle leaned her head back with a hum while Snowpea and Violence shared a glance.

"You've mentioned him. He was caring for you and your sister after the accident, yes?" Honeysuckle asked. When Turnip firmly nodded she tilted her head. "What happened to him?" Sugarplum jolted and averted her eyes at the question, while Turnip scowled once again, though with more fire in his eyes than previously.

"It happened after Baron Whole Grain convinced me to sign on with the guard to cover some of the farm's debt."

Despite the battle roaring through the city, Pseudo was unharmed. Changelings who attempted to tackle him crashed into each other in the air or were skewered by thrown spears. Guards who tried to stop him were themselves beset by changelings who any onlookers would have sworn weren't there a moment prior.

Even the stampede of panicking townsponies once he reached the castle did not hinder him. In fact, upon getting a look at him, the already terrified ponies parted around him or fell to the ground and cowered. And so, as chaos consumed the city, the prophet waded through to the castle like a stone splitting the flow of a river.

Rounding a corner for no reason other than a slight breeze from an open window pulled his robe in its direction, he passed a pair of changelings who were holding down and restraining a guard, who thrashed suddenly and kicked one of them in the eyes, sending them sprawling and clutching their face and forcing the other to redouble their efforts to pin him. The trio were so distracted that they completely failed to notice him as he slipped up and bent to quickly snatch a ring of keys off the guard in one swift movement.

Sliding the keys around the ring, he held up one in particular and hummed before turning to the door he'd just arrived at and passing inside. He found a long natural rock passage that sloped down and was naturally decorated with faintly glowing ruby crystals.

There was no plan. There never was. Chaos would provide or it would not.

"Well now, this is a surprise," Discord hummed as Pseudo rounded a corner for no reason other than a crystal in the corner itself shimmered and caught his eye.

Today, it provided in spades and Pseudo approached Discord with his head bowed and his arms stretched to the side.
"It is an honor to see you in person, O Spirit," he declared. Discord beamed and raised his head in pride as best he could.

"Yes, yes it is," he replied, basking in the reverence for a few moments. Or perhaps a few minutes. Eventually, he opened one eye and looked over the creature before him. "You are an interested specimen. Were you born this way, or?"

"An inherent gift, yes," Pseudo replied, still with his head bowed and in the same posture. "Perhaps an echo of your actions in the distant past is responsible, but I cannot say. Instead, and I beg your pardon, I must make a request."

"Shoot," Discord hummed.

"Within this city is hidden your first Avatar, sealed in stone as you partially are now," the prophet replied without looking up, causing Discord to raise an eyebrow. "I know where he is kept, but lack the power to-"

"Hold out your paws," Discord hummed. Pseudo did so immediately, at which point Discord snorted and gurgled before spitting into his palms. "There. Apply it like a salve. Off you go!" Pseudo carefully cupped his hands and bowed his head deeper before withdrawing. He quickly and carefully wandered on through the caves. Despite the bends and twists he came across, he never once looked back or hesitated, at least until he came to a long corridor, where a single white-coated pony stood, driving a crowbar into the stone itself.

"C'mon," he grunted through his teeth which were clamped on the bar. "C'mon."

"Your correspondence suggested it was magically sealed and required a key," Pseudo declared as he approached. Blueleaf yelped in panic and tumbled over, covering his head with his hooves as the crowbar clattered to the ground and produced an echoing clang through the caves. After a moment, long enough for Pseudo to approach and stand over the pony, Blueleaf peeked out and then shot to his hooves.

"Lord Pseudo!" He gasped, looking the creature up and down. "How- When-" He gasped and shook his head.

"My letters to you were stolen, how-"

"Chaos provides or it does not. Haven't you learned?" Pseudo interjected. Blueleaf adopted a disgruntled expression and sighed.

"Fine, whatever," he muttered before kicking the wall he'd been prying at. "Well, anyway, with all the chaos happening up there in the city, I figured I might as well see if I can get the big boy out." He beamed up at Pseudo.

"But, since you're here now, you must have some idea how we can get in!" He declared. Pseudo extended his pinkie and let the ring of keys slide to the ground.

"Chaos provides or it does not. Try the long one cover in the spirit's spit," he replied. Blueleaf recoiled from the ring with a heaving gag.

"Covered in WHAT?"

"I believe you wanted an opportunity to prove how bold you were to the country, despite failing Equestria's officer's curriculum," Psuedo offered, tilting his head. "Surely this is not enough to dissuade you from your goal?" Blueleaf's jaw dropped before he adopted a firm scowl and bared his teeth at the prophet. Pseudo maintained his posture and said nothing as the pony glared at him, until finally with a grimace and a disgusted grumble, he carefully picked up the key ring with a shiver.

Turning to the rock wall, he aimed the ring with his teeth and manipulated the key with his hoof, guiding it to a specific divet in the stone he'd been prying at. As the key's teeth made contact, the rock itself seemed to peel back revealing a large door made from a single piece of crystal and held fast by a large, golden lock right where the key was touching.

Blueleaf twisted the whole ring with his head and the lock let out a heavy clunk. The door shimmered and crackled with magic, causing the pony to yelp and dive back leaving the key in the lock. Pseudo watched with an even stare as the crystal door slowly slid inward on its own. Just beyond was a little cave, mostly bare except for a single statue set in the very center.

Stepping inside, Pseudo gently laid his palms upon the statue and applied Discord's spit as instructed. Blueleaf recoiled with visible disgust, before stepping into the room after him. At first, when Pseudo withdrew, nothing happened. But then cracks began to form. There was no sound, and instead, it seemed like the stone was crumbling away like sand, gradually leaving behind a creature who fell forward and caught himself on his hands and knees.

The creature coughed and heaved for a few moments before breathing quietly. Blueleaf's jaw hung open slightly and he quietly gasped at the sight.

"Welcome, O Avatar of Chaos," Pseudo declared with a deep bow. The Avatar froze before looking up at him and then rising to his full height.

The Avatar was a head or half-head taller than a minotaur, but just as broadly built. He was dressed all in black with a collection of knives and other things stuck in his belt, though the buttoned shirt he wore was split apart, exposing his bare chest and the lattice of poorly healed scars and odd-looking pockmarks that decorated his body. With one notable exception his bare face, neck, and arms were a deep, leathery tan compared to his paler chest, but were just as scarred and his left arm bore a swirling blue mark up its length.

His eyes were dark and sunken, matching the rest of his face which despite no longer being petrified seemed frozen in a perpetual and loathsome sneer. His entire head was framed by a vast and natted mane of blue-black hair which flowed down into a beard that was twisted into several tight locks.

But then there was the exception to his face. The left side was mostly free of hair and was colored a harsh, patchy red as though a hot iron had been raked across or pressed against his head at some point before his imprisonment. Despite how painful it looked, he seemed completely unfazed and even reached up to scratch at the scalded patch without flinching.

"And who the Devil are you?" He demanded with a shockingly warm and inviting voice.

"I am Pseudo, and I have set you free," the prophet explained, maintaining his bowed posture. "I expect nothing in exchange. Do as thou wilt." The Avatar looked him up and down before humming.

"This I do much appreciate, Pseudo," he replied tilting his head slightly. "You wouldn't happen to be associated with that infernal serpent, would you?"

"If you refer to Discord, then yes," Pseudo replied evenly. The Avatar scoffed and shook his head.

"Knew it," he chortled, scratching at his burn. The Avatar snorted before laughing and tapping the side of his face. "I tell you, I have been burned several times before, by flame and by exposure." He turned to Pseudo and nodded with a smile.

"But that alabaster witch-horse did leave an impression upon me. This shall be peeling for days," he laughed heartily before suddenly going silent and locking eyes with Blueleaf who wilted at the attention. The Avatar pointed at him. "You, Sir, seem most abjectly out of place compared to this miscreant. What is your name, my son?"

"Blueleaf, uh, sir!" The younger stallion replied before clearing his throat. "M-may I ask yours?"

"Blueleaf! Hah! I like that," the Avatar chortled, rubbing his chin and nodding. "Bluueleafff. A very good mouth-feel with that. Here is my thought process. I have just shy of one million names, most of which won't mean anything to you, Blueleaf. So! We'll use the one I perceive has the best harmony with your own. How about that?" Pseudo watched on in silence Blueleaf tilted his head.

"H-harmony?" Blueleaf murmured.

"Sure! Yours starts with a b and an l, mine starts with a b and an l!" The Avatar declared, sweeping his arms out. "Yours has two syllables and so does mine!" He paused and screwed his face up in thought for a few moments before shrugging.

"Mine has a color, yours has a color," he grinned wickedly and bent at the hips to meet Blueleaf at eye level. "A match made in heaven! Do you follow me, my son?"

"Ah, I think? W-what name was that again?"

"Ah, Blackbeard, if you please," he replied with a noise somewhere between a venomous growl and a deep mirthful laugh. As Blueleaf managed a meager smile in response, Blackbeard drew a long wooden pipe from his belt and clasped it between his smiling, crooked teeth.

Author's Note