Once per Day

Dear Diary,

I went blind a little from all the flashing lights. I guess becoming Emperor of the Crystal Ponies(first decree, they are now the Crystalline Equines. Way less lame.) on top of finding the Crystal Heart was worth a bump in power or two.

I'm now level nine and am a sorcerer. I have four first-level spells per day, three second-level spells per day, three third-level spells per day, two fourth-level spells per day, and one fifth-level spell per day. I also have a pounding headache from the flashing lights and coughed myself awake this morning from how dusty my new room is.

Oh, and Clarice's husband, Rusty Hauberk is in time out in the dungeon. He tried to blow me up and then tried to blow up Scuttle, cause he a racist ass.

Anyhoo! I finally feel well enough to transcribe my bullshit! Wee!

4th Level

Polymorph Self: 6 plus my power level times ten minutes. I can turn into whatever I want, but apparently, that doesn't include the 'combat benefits' of whatever I turn into. It gives the example of turning into a dragon and only being able to fly, not breathe fire. For once, I'll take it.

Polymorph Others: I can, and did, turn Honeysuckle into a frog. It lasts until dispelled, so three hours later I got an earful in French. Worth. There are some notes that turning something big and tough into something small and feeble doesn't necessarily make them feeble. Once again, I'll take it.

Remove Curse: It removes a curse. Useful, but kind of plain.

Wall of Fire: Conjures a big ass wall of fire that lasts until I stop concentrating on it. The heat alone is apparently too much for weaker creatures to bear so they can't even get close. I can make it appear as an actual wall or a circle.

Wall of Ice: Conjures a wall of ice six inches thick and otherwise just as big as the Wall of Fire.

Confusion: For one hundred and twenty minutes, this spell inflicts severe confusion on a small number of creatures. This number gets bigger the stronger I get. The confusion inflicted is severe enough to cause them to confuse friend for foe.

Charm Monster: Charm Person but it works on everything. Additionally, it can hit multiple targets if they're weak. Finally.

Growth of Plants: I can make.. plants grow big and wild. To the point they become impassable. Cool? Lasts until dispelled by magic.

Dimension Door: A limited teleport spell. The range isn't huge, but who gives a fuck?

Wizard Eye: Lasts sixty minutes. A more useful form of ventriloquism. I send out a magic eye to spy on things a moderate distance away. The eye is invisible and I can move it at a reasonable pace even after sending it to a spot. Hell yeah.

Massmorph: Macbeth looking ass. Lets me magically disguise up to 100 'man-sized or smaller' creatures as woods or orchards. Unless the spell is dispelled by magic or my command, the disguise is pretty much perfect. Crazy.

Hallucinatory Terrain: I can magically hide 'terrain' or create illusory terrain. Hills, swamps, woodlands, things like that. The illusion breaks as soon as someone touches it. Nifty.

Ice Storm: For ten minutes, I conjure an ice storm that rains painful hailstones upon anyone caught inside. It's not super huge or anything, but the hailstones are big enough to leave some serious bruises by my estimate.

Fear: Anyone who fails to resist this spell flees from me as fast and as far away as they can get for sixty minutes. As they should.

Monster Summoning II: Works just like the weaker version but now it summons stronger things. Tight.

Extension I: Increases the duration of 1st to 3rd level spells by 50%. My god.

5th Level

Teleport: I think we skip this one. It doesn't really have a range limit, but what it does have is details on what happens if I try to teleport to a place I'm unfamiliar with. Examples include arriving where I want, only ten to a hundred feet in the air. Or arriving and I'm halfway in the ground. Or I just explode immediately. Familiarity lessens the chance of these things happening, but still, ick.

Hold Monster: Hold Person but it works on everything. Finally.

Conjure Elemental: Lets me conjure a living body made of air, water, fire, or earth. I can only conjure one of each type during any one day and it remains until dispelled or destroyed. However, if I don't concentrate on controlling it, it will beat my ass. Awesome. I love getting to this level of magic and there's still bullshit like that. Thanks, Discord and Gary.

Telekinesis: For sixty minutes, I can move stuff with my mind. Weight limit goes up in conjunction with my power level. Fuck you, Honeysuckle, I can use myself as a sword now.

Transmute Rock to Mud: Over the course of ten minutes this spell turns earth, sand, and rock to mud. Not magic mud. Just mud. Could be funny for a prank or two.

Wall of Stone: Conjures a big ass, two-foot-thick wall of rocks that lasts until dispelled or destroyed.

Wall of Iron: See above, but it's thinner and made of metal. It also only lasts for one hundred twenty minutes. Pondering using this to block Honeysuckle's door for the full duration. And by pondering I mean, just did

Animate Dead: I consider myself an even-tempered man, not given to outbursts, and in control of my emotions. Therefore, I must proclaim that I reacted to finding this spell with reservation and tact, regardless of what anyone says. This spell lets me make zombies and skeletons. Obviously, I need bodies, but still. There is no max limit, but I can only animate so many at a time. There's no bullshit and they just do what I tell them. They last until dispelled or destroyed. I am the Dark Lord. Now I just have to find a reasonable supply of dead bodies that won't scare the ponies. Preferably ones that don't smell.

Magic Jar: I'm also a Lich. I can put my soul into an object, leaving my body behind, and can then jump from that object to another body to possess it. If the body I steal is killed, I just return to my 'jar.' As cool as the concept is, we skip this one cause there's a lot of catches. For instance, if the 'jar' is destroyed while I'm inside, I get 'annihilated.' Not killed. Annihilated. I don't want to find out what that means in practice.

Contact Higher Plane: Once per week, lets me seek the advice and knowledge of beings inhabiting higher planes of existence. There're apparently twelve planes of existence and the higher I dig, the more 'yes/no' questions I can ask. So, I could ask a being from the seventh plane of existence seven questions. However, the higher you dig, the higher the chance of immediately being driven insane. If that happens, I'm stuck in crazy mode for a number of weeks equal to the level of the plane I talked to.

Passwall: Lasts thirty minutes. Creates a hole in solid rock about ten or so feet long.

Cloudkill: Lasts sixty minutes or until strong wind or fucking trees dispel the cloud. In any case, creates a moving, poisonous vapor cloud. The book specifies the cloud is heavier than air, so it sinks instead of floats, but apparently maintains the shape it shows up in.

Feeblemind: A spell apparently only used against magic users that lasts until dispelled by magic. If they fail to resist, it zaps their brain and makes them stupid. Pretty funny.

Growth of Animals: Make animals giant-sized for one hundred twenty minutes.

Monster Summoning III: Stronger monsters, but only one or two of them depending on their strength.

Extension II: Same as the weaker version, but also applies to 4th level spells. Fuck yeah.