Once per Day

All of my joints were tingling, like when it's really cold out and it seeps into your bones. As a result, I sat on my throne, clenching and unclenching my toes and fingers as I rubbed my arms against each other. Huffing, I considered the pony lying on her back on my lap with a self-satisfied grin she'd earned after magicking me out of my stony prison.

Fuck you, Discord. Your bitch-ass needed like a whole sixty-step plan to get free. My bitch-ass just needed a semi-psycho redhead to get free.

Tautology.

"Hey, Buddy?" I said.

"Yeah, Buddy?" She hummed.

"I appreciate you, you know that?" I huffed.

"Aw, thanks!" She purred. At that moment, Apterygota cleared her throat, drawing my attention to the throne room. As I'd only been stuck for a minute or two, it was largely the same as when I'd last seen it with only Honeysuckle being missing and Sugarplum nestled up against my leg.

"So! Now that Emperor Fremont has been released, may we continue negotiations?" The changeling queen asked with a toothy and hopeful smile shot my way.

"You were ready to cozy up with Cadenza!" Sash yelled, jabbing a damning hoof her way. She recoiled and her eyes darted side to side.

"Well excuse me for being so practical and adaptive! I thought the emperor was dead!" She gasped before fixing me with a nervous smile.

"Have you no shame?" Sash grunted, shaking his head.

"Have you no mind your own business?" She spat.

"Hey!" I yelled causing them both to flinch and turn to me. I looked over the whole gathering with a furrowed brow. "We just had a freak break in and turn me to stone. I think that takes precedence over a lot of other shit." Cadance snorted a giggle at my words while Sunset waved a hoof.

"That was just number ninety-nine," she scoffed. "He's easy to scare off."

"He's who?" I pressed.

"Number ninety-nine, from Dr. Plum's stock," she pressed back. Shining hummed and rubbed his chin at her assertion.

"You said that earlier before you scared him off," he murmured before sharing a look with his wife. "I guess if that's true that confirms all the rumors about Plum."

"Who's Plum?" I asked, looking around and seeing some of my cult, including Sash, as well as Cadance all seemed unsettled by the name.

"Dr. Plum was a unicorn who specialized in genetic junk," Sunset explained as she began batting at the hem of my robe with her hoof. "He cultivated molds and plants that became the foundations for healing salve and other miracle cures." I hummed as I gave her my full attention.

"But once he started getting more funding, he embezzled a lot of it into a series of private compounds which were guarded by private security," she continued with a shrug. "Nothing wrong with owning property, but he turned around and converted his compounds into secret labs where he could experiment without supervision." I blinked at her explanation and looked up when she gestured to the window Double had flown through while I was petrified.

"That weirdo was one of his experiments," she added. "He spliced the genes of a whole mess of creatures and grew monsters like that in big vats. Most of them died really quick, but a couple survived, obviously." I exhaled hard at her words, dragging my hand over the back of my head.

"Honeysuckle mentioned something like that," I murmured. "Him being a kidnapped diamond dog or something." Sugarplum squeaked and huddled closer to me, so I reached down and gently scratched between her ears.

"Nope! He's completely homegrown!" Sunset chirped, stretching out before curling up. "He also has the features of dozens of monsters, like the cockatrice, which is how he turned you to stone."

"What features let him move so fucking fast?" I snorted earning a grim smile from her.

"Necrotic tissue stolen from the graves of some of the fastest pegasi in Equestrian military records," she said, earning a grunt of discomfort from Cadance. "Plus the wings of a dragon." She gasped and shot a hoof up.

"Oh! He can also breathe fire, and like what he did to Funnysuckle, he's got spines to deliver toxins produced in glands all over his body," she declared, but Double's features took second place to something else she'd said.

"What'd you call her?" I gasped, fixing her with a bewildered leer.

"What? She's funny," she said with a shrug before crooking her hoof and pursing her lips, then speaking in an outrageous accent. "Hon hon hon baguette and all that." I found myself heaving as I struggled to hold back my laughter. Unhinged or not, that just cinched her as a friend for life.

"How'd you scare him off like that?" Sugarplum asked as she suddenly reared up on the arm of my throne. Sunset considered her for a moment before smiling.

"According to the investigators and the handlers who cared for him after the raid, back when he was being cultivated in Dr. Plum's Canterlot compound, the second he was sentient enough to feel pain, the doctor began reassuring him before every experiment," she explained, her words taking on a grim tone that visibly unsettled Sugarplum. "He promised him he was going to be gentle." Having recovered from my fit, I huffed hard at the implications of what she was saying.

"So, predictably, due to how bad Plum treated his creations, he associates that word with the trauma he endured," she added, causing Sugarplum to wilt slightly before she blinked and scowled. Sunset nodded up at me. "Pretty messed up, right? Anyway, that's part of why Celestia wound up declaring Plum a category five and sent F.R.O.W.N to clear his compound and kill him." I blanched and looked at her in shock.

"She had him killed?" I asked in utter amazement.

"Tried to, but he escaped," she said before tilting her head at me. "You don't know about F.R.O.W.N?" I furrowed my brow and shook my head.

"I've never even heard of that," Shining replied, sharing a look with an equally confused Cadance. "Are they associated with S.M.I.L.E?"

"Yep, though even S.M.I.L.E doesn't know about them. Instead of tracking, capturing, or destroying monsters, they deal with individuals," Sunset explained, gently kicking her rear hooves against the arm of my seat. "The name stands for 'foul reconnaissance operations when needed' and they only get deployed to deal with more mundane villains. They've clashed with the Platinum Ponyhood a few times and they tried to arrest me a few months ago when I was helping this cultist chick up in the mountains get set up." While there was a lot to unpack with what she'd just revealed, I found myself rushing back to a time before I'd ever come here.

Back to when the silly pony show was just a silly pony show. A cartoon. As a result, I clamped my hands over my eyes and threw my head back with clenched teeth.

"I- I fuckin' hate-" I strained as I dragged my hands down and rubbed my eyes. "You guys literally have a stupid pony C.I.A division named 'Frown and Smile?'" I sat there, pulling my hands down and staring at the ceiling for a few moments as everyone looked at me in confusion.

"So yeah, enemies of the public who present a very real threat to the long-term stability of the country get F.R.O.W.N dropped on them," Sunset finally added, returning her attention to the others.

"And yet so many of the upper class run rampant, trampling the rights of the average citizen," Sash huffed, shaking his head. "So a fat lot of good they do, hm?"

"I know, right?" Sunset snickered. "Pretty sure she thinks if she just starts killing noble ponies left and right it'd lead to worse results in the long term, but who cares about that?" I was still reeling and seething about the pony C.I.A, but Sugarplum yanked on my sleeve and snapped me out of it.

"Victor?" She murmured with a sorrowful look on her face. "I- I know you don't like Ms. Honeysuckle, but he took her." Her ears snapped back and she shook her head.

"He can't be planning anything good with her," she added with a whimper. "Can we-" I screwed up my face with a grunt.

"Yeah, you're right on all accounts," I said, rubbing my eyes again. "I don't like her and he's got nothing wholesome planned." I hummed a sigh as I sat in thought for a moment. Eventually, I nodded.

"He mentioned her dad," I murmured before pointing at Sash. "Sash, go find Violence or Snowpea. They might know where the guy lives." He nodded and trotted off to do as I asked, so I turned to Apterygota.

"You asked what you could do to convince me you were genuine or whatever, right?" I asked, causing her to blink.

"Yes," she said slowly before tilting her head. "May I presume-"

"Gimme a hand with this and I'll consider us square," I confirmed with a nod. "Deal?" She beamed before bowing low.
"Thank you, Emperor Fremont," she declared. Cadance fell into a predictable sputtering fit.

"You don't have-" Before she could cry more, I pointed at her and yelled.

"Aw! You guys hear that?" I said, drawing everyone's attention. "Celestia's niece doesn't want to rescue a kidnapping victim!" The cultists and Ivory all gasped.

"Scandalous," Sunset purred.

"For shame," Ivory spat. Cadance's jaw dropped as she looked around before settling on me with a scowl.

"I hate you with all my heart," she growled.

"Yeah, join the club," I huffed, waving a hand.

Her entire body ached but the point where that monster's quill had stabbed her hurt worst of all. It seemed to be the point from which all the dull pain that wracked her body originated and she thanked Celestia when she could finally move enough to massage her side. As she slowly recovered and her head stopped spinning, she realized to her horror that she was back in her old room.

In Canterlot.

Honeysuckle rolled to her hooves and then flopped over from the motion. "Merde," she huffed, straining to stand up again. "Come on." With a mighty exhale, she stood up straight and then blinked as she panted. Then her door swung open and she tumbled over again. Looking up with muted horror, she watched her father trot in with a pitcher of water which he set down right in front of her.

"Drink," he demanded, his tone and expression full of disdain. She wilted at his gaze before considering the pitcher. "That wretched thing who calls himself Double overloaded your body with toxins to disable you, and this will help purge them entirely." She grimaced before taking the pitcher in her magic and drinking. She groaned and reflexively raised her foreleg as her side tingled in response. Goldflame nodded at the sight.

"Good. You have a wedding to attend, after all, so we can't have you disoriented," he declared causing her to sputter and cough as she dropped the pitcher. Gasping, she looked up at him in shock and he nodded. "To Prince Blueblood. We made the arrangements while you were-"

"Non! I will not!" She yelled with as much fury as she could muster in the face of her father.

"You will," he shot back, as the fury she mustered still didn't amount to much. She wilted for a moment before struggling to her hooves and glaring at him.

"I won't! I'm not some doll or bartering chip for you to play with!" She spat.

"That's all you've ever been," he said evenly without a hint of contempt.

"Maybe to you! But I don't live under your roof anymore!" She jabbed. "I joined the Royal Guard and escaped!"

"And yet here you are," he hummed. She hesitated before snarling her teeth.

"And I'd rather die than stay," she hissed. A tense silence followed as the two stared each other down. During that time, Goldflame's one visible eye burned a hole clear to Honeysuckle's soul. But when she still didn't falter, he huffed.

"Bonté divine, but where is this courage coming from?" He wondered, shaking his head. "You weren't this bold before you fled Canterlot with Fremont."

"That's because I heard what you planned to do with me," she hissed before recoiling with a grunt. "Marrying Blueblood!" She looked off to the side with visible disgust before glaring at him.

"That was the final straw for me," she declared, taking a daring step towards him. "I won't let myself be used by you." She shook her bangs out of the way fixed him with a furious glare and jabbed a hoof into his chest.

"I am a warrior, like my mother," she spat, craning up to his face. "Not your plaything." Another heated silence fell between the two. Finally, Goldflame tilted his head forward to look her right in the eyes.

"I lied," I said cooly. Honeysuckle flinched for just a moment and he nodded.

"When you were a filly and asked me if a filly could join the guard, I panicked. I saw the light in your eyes when you spoke of those armored buffoons, and I knew what you were dreaming of," he said, his tone even and low. "I couldn't allow you to slip free of my grasp, and so I made a mistake." He took a step toward her, forcing her to retreat.

"I told you your mother worked with the guard and was killed during a vicious battle with some outlaws," he said, his unblinking eye locked on hers even as her bangs fell back into place. "I hoped that finally hearing the story of how your mother died would rattle you and quash that silly idea utterly." Her rear ran up against the wall as he finally cornered her.

"It emboldened you," he hissed, his tone unchanging, his eye unblinking. "So, I did the next best thing. I tried to break you. Tried to make you give it up, by force." He tilted his head to the side as she shrunk away from him.

"The training I put you through was cruel by design. I knew that even most agents in S.M.I.L.E couldn't handle it," he knelt down to remain at eye level with her as she hugged the floor away from him. "To my eternal frustration, you did and wound up excelling as a result." He finally broke eye contact and looked to the side at her wall of awards she'd earned during her education.

"If your chosen path didn't frustrate my plans, I might have been proud," he hummed. Before she could recover, his attention fell upon her like a hammer. "But I remembered myself and so instead sought any means to have you decommissioned." He leaned in close.

"All this to reiterate that I lied to you," he whispered. "Your mother was no warrior. She died during childbirth. Yours." Honeysuckle suppressed a whimper as he leaned even closer.

"You killed her," he declared, slowly shaking his head. "She was no warrior. She was no guard. She was no hero." He tilted his head against hers as she shivered and curled up tight away from him.

"She was a housewife, and up until you took her from me, she was the light of my life," he added with a venomous and murderous tone. He loomed over her as she hid her face under her hooves.

Eventually, she managed to squeak an argument. "Her- Her sword-" Goldflame snorted in response and shot to his hooves.

"It's one of mine, you idiot. I held it up as a goalpost for you to work towards back when I hoped I could beat your dreams out of you," he grunted shaking his head, before looking down at her in disgust. "And I do mean that. Idiot." He huffed hard and shook his head.

"One of my greatest reliefs and yet greatest shocks was discovering that at no point during your career did you ever look into Twinberry's life," he said as he paced away from her. "If you had you might've discovered the truth upon finding no record of her in the Guard's archives." He paused and looked back at her.

"Or maybe at some point you did?" He mused, tilting his head. "Maybe you've known all along and have just been in denial?" He pranced back to her side and leaned in close.

"Maybe that's why you had such a temper?" He chirped, tilting his head this way and that as she cowered from him. Finally, he stood up and cracked his neck. "Whatever the case, now you know the truth. If you still want to emulate her so badly, then be a good girl for Blueblood like she was for me." He raised an eyebrow as he glared down at his daughter. After another silent period, she grunted and shot to her hooves, whirling around to glare death into his face.

"You're lying," she sobbed. He smiled.

"For once, no!" He beamed, leaning in close. "But while I will have you on house arrest until the villa is ready to host your wedding, feel free to check the archives. I'll have your guards notified it is permitted." He tilted his head as he slowly began to back away from her.

"I encourage you to do so," he hummed before whirling around and trotting out of the room. "If only because seeing it in writing with your own eyes might finally extinguish that annoying flame I failed to put out."

Once she was alone, without bothering to shut the door behind him, Honeysuckle collapsed in a sobbing heap.

A pair of bluebirds flitted into the castle garden and landed in a tree directly above the outdoor table Celestia and her nephew were seated at. The pair looked up at the birds before Blueblood hummed a laugh.

"Well like I was saying, if nothing else, Goldflame's co-conspirators have been doing me favors!" He chirped as he took a sip of the coffee he'd requested. "They've been keeping the other families away from me, so I've been able to relax the act a little, even in public." Celestia's smile wavered and she stared into her tea.

"Sweety, you know you don't have to do that," she sighed, earning a snort from the younger unicorn.

"Says you," he huffed before throwing a hoof up. "But look at what's happening—Even despite my projected belligerence, they're still finding a way to use me to kick you out." He threw himself back against his chair and shook his head.

"If I'd known Goldflame hated his daughter so much, I would've just thrown the towel in and settled down years ago," he grumbled. After just a moment, Celestia perked up.

"You could still do that, you know," she offered, earning a look of confusion from her nephew. "It'd be quite the adventure! Prince Blueblood, next in line for the throne by one metric or another, runs off with some commoner mare to escape the stresses of nobility!" Blueblood blinked as Celestia nodded sincerely.

"Goodness, we are in trouble if you're making jokes like that," he murmured, causing her to giggle.

"You used to make those jokes, too," she replied, batting the side of his head with a wing.

"Only when I wanted to annoy you," he retorted, waving her wing away. "I'd never leave you all alone."

"And I love you for that," she giggled before looking up and considering the recently reoccupied tower her sister was sleeping in. "But I'm not alone anymore." Blueblood smiled at her words before wilting when she grimaced for an imperceptible moment. As she turned, he followed her gaze and wilted harder at what he found.

"Hello, Goldflame," Celestia chirped as the older unicorn came trotting up, flanked by castle guards. The two guards saluted as Celestia waved them away.

"It may interest you to know that Honeysuckle has been located and returned to me," Goldflame said once the three were alone. Initially, his gaze fell solely on Celestia, who returned his harsh glare with a smile. Then, he turned to Blueblood with a bow. "As such, Prince, we have begun preparations for your wedding. Congratulations."

"Ah-hah," Blueblood huffed, grabbing his cup and clearing his throat. "Great."

Celestia tilted her head. "Have you told anypony else?"

"Of course," Goldflame replied, raising an eyebrow at her. "And I have her under constant watch to ensure she isn't abducted again."

"Very good to hear," Celestia chirped with a nod, before fixing him with a strange, sharp sort of smile that made Blueblood wince. "I'm sure you must have been worried sick about her so this must be a stark relief for you." Goldflame and she locked eyes for a few moments.

"Sure," he finally hummed. Celestia held her smile for a moment before something more genuine to Blueblood's eyes lighted upon her features.

"Well! Was there anything else?" She asked as she sipped her tea.

"Non. I simply believed it best to be the first to tell you," he replied.

"Of course! Thank you, Goldflame," Celestia said, nodding his way. "Give Honeysuckle my best." Blueblood watched the older unicorn turn and trot away for a few moments before sighing hard.

"Oh boy," he grumbled, shaking his head. "Sorry, Aunty."

"Oh, it's not your fault," she sighed, brushing him with a wing. When a few moments passed without her saying anything further, Blueblood looked up and then recoiled.

"Are you-" He paused as her eyes snapped to him from the scroll she had been considering with a severe look. It was black with a silver wax seal.

"He and I both know what he is, even if he's managed to hide it from the public," she replied in a firm tone as she turned the scroll over in her magic. "So he and I both know I cannot allow him any closer to the reins of the country. And Discord already told me in private he thinks it's too funny to step in." She stared hard at the scroll for a minute or two before snapping the seal with her magic. The second it broke, the entire scroll went up in flames before crumbling to a puff of pitch-black smoke that slithered into the air in a thin, almost imperceptible stream. Blueblood swallowed hard at the sight as Celestia took up her tea cup.

"He's left me no choice," she murmured as she sipped.

For a few minutes, the only noise following the cave-in was the gentle dripping and trickling of the stream of water that managed to slip through the debris pile. Eventually, another noise filled the tunnel and a flash of light filled it as a pony in thick black armor, complete with a helmet that completely enclosed her head, appeared out of nowhere and landed on her back.

"Ow. Crud," Sundown groaned as she slowly rolled to her hooves, considering first the debris she'd been buried in and then the moist tunnel she found herself in. "Sewers. Okay." She huffed and jostled her helmet, adjusting the breathing filter, and tapped the red gemstone lenses over her eyes until they lit up again. Now able to see thanks to the gem's magic, she examined the pouches lining the belt of her armor. Sighing hard in relief that her equipment wasn't damaged, she began trotting at a brisk pace down the tunnel, when the magic piercing in her ear jingled.

"Sundown, come in," a familiar voice said in a buzz. Sundown sighed hard and tapped the side of her helmet.

"Sundown here. I lost consciousness," she reported as she rounded a corner scanning the tunnel up and down. "Currently underground in a sewage canal." Her ear twitched under her helmet with a gurgling caught her attention further up the way she was trotting. Regardless, she continued trotting down the path she'd chosen.

"Understood. We've been trying to reach you for five minutes," the voice reported. "We just received our next assignment. Another category five." Sundown grunted at the information as she finally caught sight of the gurgling's source. Ahead in the tunnel were a dozen or so ponies who'd been reported missing over the last three months. Now, they were milling about with a glazed look in their eyes and horrible, infected bite wounds littering their bodies.

"Another one? Dang," Sundown huffed as she trotted right into the midst of the small horde, causing them to slowly shudder and turn toward her. "What, did Dr. Plum manage to release the virus he was working on while I was knocked out or something?" She kept up her pace as the infected ponies shambled after her, and only paused once when one she hadn't seen rose up from the sewer water and tried to grab her. She caught herself on her rear hoof and pivoted back and around the zombie pony before continuing on.

"Nope! It's Goldflame and the Ponyhood," the voice chirped, earning a snort from Sundown.

"Finally. Why'd she make us wait this long?" She asked as the zombie ponies hissed and screeched after her just before turning down an intersection out of their sight.

"He's too high profile and experienced from his days as the head of S.M.I.L.E," the voice explained. "We've got three-quarters of the intelligence committee working on a plan to get him. You're first on the docket to do the job." Sundown glanced up as she found she was now trotting under a grating through which the sun was shining.

"Gee, thanks," she huffed as she followed the grate.

"What's your current status?" The voice demanded.

"I was in Plum's garden, dealing with his monster attack dogs. One of them had some explosives wired onto it that went off when its vital functions ceased," she paused as she came to a deep pit that was open all the way to the sky. "At least, I think that's why it exploded. Still operating under magic conservation level two." She glanced up and down the sides of the pit until she spotted a spire of the castle she'd been infiltrating.

"Ah-hah! I'm at point seven dash b five!" She declared before turning and trotting along the rim of the pit.

"Copy. Relaying to the extraction team," the voice reported. "Any eyes on Plum?"

"Negative. Most of the infiltration was undetected until his hounds sniffed me out," she said before pausing as she spotted a service ladder for Plum's bipedal monsters.

"Jeez, even through your suit?" The voice asked as Sundown retreated from the ladder and the hulking, bloated, former-diamond dog that stood guard at the ladder.

"Yep," she reported, lighting up her horn and drawing the monster's attention. "Hold on. Big guy and a bucking ladder." The monster shambled to its paws, gurgling and squelching as it did before turning toward her fully. Sundown scraped her hoof against the floor, causing the monster to shudder a growl before it sprang toward her with alarming speed. Just before it was upon her, she teleported right past it and began pulling herself up the ladder with some effort.

"I'm clear," she strained as she awkwardly scaled the ladder.

"How many charges do you have left to place," the voice asked.

"Three," she huffed once she was out of the pit before drawing a package from her belt. "Deploying one now." She tossed the package into the pit before turning and hurrying toward the castle. She was now in a wide stone courtyard, filled with more infected ponies and other creatures ambling about.

"Good. Hurry up. Your extraction team reported the explosion and are worried they might've been spotted," the voice reported. "They're pulling out in three hundred seconds. Magic conservation lightened to level four."

"Copy," Sundown reported just as she made it to the steps leading inside the castle. At the top and above the door on a balcony, a tall, lean, and pale purple unicorn in a bloodied lab coat emerged.

"So! Agent of F.R.O.W.N!" Dr. Plum screamed, rearing up and jabbing a hoof down at her. "You think you can-" Before he could rant, she snapped open another pouch, drawing and rapidly unfolding a specialized crossbow, before shooting him. The doctor threw himself back with a gurgling scream.

"I found Plum. Bolt deployed, throat shot," Sundown reported, before embracing her relaxed magic restriction and teleporting up to his body. She leaned over the writhing pony for a moment until he went still. "Expired."

"Good work. Deploy the last of the explosives," the voice ordered.

"Roger," she chirped as she continued inside.

Bally Hoo spun in his swivel chair as he examined the report his insiders had just delivered him.

"A high-profile wedding with the potential to change the line of succession to the throne!" He cried before snickering. "Hoo hoo hoo! What a scoop." Across his desk, his assistant tilted her head.

"Mr. President, whatcha mean 'change the line of succession?'" She asked before Bally Hoo leaped atop his desk and knocked the ceiling-high stacks of papers there aside.

"It's pretty obvious to me what this is really about!" He cried, jabbing a hoof at her and sweeping it to the side. "I'll explain it once we're on our way to the wedding!" He chuckled grimly as he began pacing the desk.

"Which means if you want details you'd better get to work securing us an invitation!" He declared as he rubbed his chin in thought, earning a salute from his assistant.

"Right away, Sir!"