Repressed Memories

by Admiral Producer

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: A New Generation, Other, Sunny Starscout, Mane 5, Zipp Storm, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 3973

Sunny has repressed the memories of what happened to her mother for years, and she never thought she would ever think about it again. But when the past resurfaces one night, it will take a certain pegasus to help her through her grief…

Sequel story to the Tell Your Tale episode “Written In The Starscouts”

Sunny has repressed the memories of what happened to her mother for years. She was too young when it happened, and she never imagined she would ever have to think about it again. But nothing stays lost forever, when the past resurfaces one fateful night, it will take a certain pegasus who empathizes with her to help Sunny process her grief…

A/N: Episode 5 of the G5 Supplementary Universe. Featured on Fimfiction’s List of Stories On The Homepage: May 27, 2024!

Sequel: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/558398/i-choose-you

Published 2024-05-27 06:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-27 06:00:00 UTC

I Remember Her

“I want to know what happened to her…”

“Please tell me what happened to my Mom…”

“…Why did she leave me…?”

“…Where did she go…?”

“…Please let me remember…”

…

…

“…Skyros has to be the source of all magic!” Stella Starscout insisted. “If I bring the alicorns back, then they can restore magic back to Equestria! The pony tribes could be together again.”

“Nopony has ever ventured outside of Maretime Bay,” Argyle countered. “Not even our archaeology team. You’re the only one to step even inches out of our borders and…I fear you’re way in over your head about this. What if you get killed? What if…what if we’re wrong?”

Stella narrowed her eyes. “You really think the centuries of documented history we researched could be wrong? Argyle, this is our chance to save Sunny’s future. This is our chance to prove…that magic exists after all.”

“And what if you die?!” Argyle demanded. “What do I tell Sunny?!”

“Tell her nothing…” Stella replied. “Just that I’ll be back. Our ancestors have explored Equestria before. They carved out the terrain we live on today, tamed the frontiers. I doubt it’s so dangerous that the other ponies would kill me. Besides, I’m not going to their lands. I’m going to Skyros. I’m sure if I could explain everything to the alicorns, they’ll come help us.”

“And you’re sure…?” he pressed. “Absolutely sure? You’re sure you don’t want me to come with you?! We could bring Sunny along and…this could be a family trip.”

Stella shook her head. “I need her to stay here. She’s too young to face the outside world…I don’t want her getting hurt…in the slim chance I don’t get back, you need to be there for her, teach her.” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Carry on my journey…”

Argyle nodded slowly. “Somepony has to take the first step…” He blinked back tears of his own. “Just promise me you’ll return home. It’ll be hard being without you.”

Stella smiled at him. “You know I will, silly. Just think of how much better Equestria will be once magic returns. We won’t have to hide anymore. I’ll leave tomorrow morning, so I can say goodbye to our little Sunbeam.”

…

“…Just be sure to watch where you’re going, Sunny,” Stella advised her daughter kindly. Little Sunny nodded in Argyle’s hooves, smiling back. She gave both she and Argyle a big hug before walking towards the door. “Look after each other. I’ll be back before you know it!”

Argyle watched as his wife left to go on her journey with his daughter in his hooves. He put on a brave face, even though he knew there was a good chance that he was never going to see her ever again.

His fears were not unfounded.

…

“…Sunny, I’m sorry to tell you this,” Argyle told her, tears at the corners of his eyes. “It’s been weeks and I should’ve told you sooner. But your mother…probably didn’t make it out there. There’s no way she could’ve survived on her own.”

“Mommy is g-gone?!” Little Sunny asked in a choked voice, eyes widening in horror.

“I’m afraid so…” Argyle replied sadly, taking a shaky breath. His expression reflected pure heartbreak as even he couldn’t sugarcoat the truth as much as he wanted to. Stella’s curiosity had gotten the better of her and because of that, she was gone from this world, even when she promised that she would be back. It wasn’t fair to any of them.

“WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME?!” The poor filly shrieked as tears streamed down her small cheeks. “SHE SAID SHE’S COMING BACK FOR ME!! WHY DID SHE-“ She sniffled. “Why did she lie to me…?”

“I don’t know, Sunny. I don’t know…”

“NO!!”

Sunny Starscout bolted upright in bed with a loud scream, sweat on every inch of her face. Her mind was racing, many emotions drowning out any sense of reason as she hyperventilated. She had seen it. She wanted to know, searched the memories she had repressed for years within her own subconscious, and now she wished she could take it all back. It had all been so sudden and she was too young at the time to understand the gravity of what her mother did, what she had sacrificed for her daughter to live a normal life, all for it to be fruitless in the end. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself, her heart still palpitating from the horror of that memory. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and she began to cry softly as the weight of everything finally crashed down on her.

She never wanted this. She never wanted any of this. She never wanted to be the savior of Equestria, The Alicorn, or anything. She was supposed to live a normal existence with her family, unaware of all the problems with the world. Her life was perfect back then, and there wasn’t a single thing she’d change. She had both of her parents and they loved her. She had everything she could have ever wanted, and she was raised by two ponies who understood her the most. She never wanted that to change. She never wanted to carry the burden of all ponykind on her shoulders. She just wanted to be a regular pony and belong in her community, but fate had to push her in a different direction.

Since reliving her time with her mother in that old memory book a couple of weeks ago, she had been obsessed with finding out more about her. She didn’t remember anything prior to that point, and that book had brought everything flooding back to the surface like a massive tsunami on the beach. She missed her mother more than anything, and she wanted answers. This was the night she finally recalled the final missing piece of the puzzle, that fateful night Argyle had come home and delivered the horrible news of her mother’s disappearance. It wasn’t fair. She didn’t have to do this. She didn’t have to do anything for her. She didn’t have to leave.

She could’ve stayed…

The bedroom door swung open and Zipp burst inside, carrying a knife in her right hoof. Her mane was all frazzled and she had bags under her eyes. But she was wide awake and alert, fully ready to shank any intruder trying to harm her friends at a moments notice. She looked around frantically, only to see a terrified Sunny and the others still asleep. Surprisingly, they hadn’t woken up due to the commotion, not so much as even stirred.

“What the hay is going on here?!” Zipp demanded. Her eyes focused on the orange earth pony, who was trembling all over from fear. “Sunny, you scared me! What happ-“ Before she could finish, there was a blur and within seconds Sunny had buried her face in Zipp’s shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, Zipp…” she apologized. “I-I know you were s-sleeping, b-but…”

“Shhhhhhh…” the pegasus replied, setting the knife down and stroking Sunny’s mane softly. “It’s okay. Let’s talk outside before we wake the others, okay?”

Sunny looked up at her, tears still streaming down her face. She nodded silently and followed Zipp down the ramp towards the main living room of the Crystal Brighthouse. She felt awful for waking the detective, and that increased her insecurities even more. She felt overwhelmed, and she didn’t know how to express it. She didn’t think anyone would understand. But she needed someone to talk to, and Zipp had always been a good confidant. She never judged her for anything she said, and was more than willing to listen. She figured that she might as well get her feelings off her chest.

Once they were both downstairs, Zipp stood in front of her, a look of concern on her face. “What’s going on with you? Ever since you came out of that memory book, you’ve been a complete mess.”

Sunny sniffled, wiping an escaping tear from one of her eyes. “Zipp…I-I miss Mom…”

“I see. Does this have to do with…you know.”

“It d-does…” Sunny explained in a trembling voice. “I saw her, Zipp. I-I-I saw them both. I was happy back then. I was content. I-I had the absolute perfect life. I had her. I-I d-didn’t want to go back…not so soon. I wanted to know what happened to her…”

“And you found out. You remembered, didn’t you?” Zipp assumed.

Sunny nodded. “I subconsciously searched my memories while I was sleeping, trying to see if I could recall anything in my dreams. And I remembered that night…” She shuddered. “Mom headed out on a mission to Skyros…the alicorn land we saw in that tapestry…she thought that if she found the alicorns, then she would be able to bring magic back. She promised Dad and I she would be back before we knew it, but…” She trailed off, whimpering.

“…She never returned…”

Again, Sunny nodded. The more she remembered, the worse she felt. “Dad tried to request a search party, but no one cared enough to look. Nopony cared about her…so he told me that night that she died. He said there was no way she could’ve survived out there on her own…”

“I’m sorry…”

“I blocked it out for years,” Sunny finished. “I was too young to understand anything, but even I knew that something was horribly wrong. I didn’t want to remember…but that memory book brought everything back…”

Zipp sighed deeply. She walked over and placed a comforting hoof on Sunny’s shoulder. She flinched at the gesture, but relaxed soon after. “I can’t imagine what that must have felt like. I barely even knew my own Dad. He left when Pipp was born and I was like 3 when it happened. You’re lucky to have gotten a chance to see her again.”

“But it hurts even more now…” Sunny answered, looking away. “…Knowing how…I lost both my parents. I was old enough to remember how Dad died. It was through cancer and I couldn’t control that. But Mom…I forgot all about her. She did everything for me. She was always there. She died trying to protect me…she didn’t want me to be an outcast. She wanted to prove everything before I could so that I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this…”

“Sunny…”

“I could’ve saved her this time, Zipp. I could’ve stopped her from leaving!”

“Sunny-“

“I could’ve begged her to stay. I had a second chance! I could’ve changed the past. She could’ve been here for all of this! She could’ve-“

“Sunny, listen to me!” Zipp yelled, snapping the earth pony out of her rambling. “You aren’t responsible for this! Not in the slightest. You couldn’t have stopped her this time. Those were just memories, pre-determined.”

“But-“

“You couldn’t have done anything. There was nothing you could have done to change it. You can’t change…what already happened…”

“I wish I could’ve though,” replied Sunny sadly. “She knew this would happen…me becoming an outcast, being hated by everypony in town…she knew…because both she and Dad went through it…and I let them both down by not being strong enough. If it wasn’t for Izzy randomly showing up in Maretime Bay that fateful afternoon, I would’ve just given up…” She squeezed her eyes shut to prevent more tears from coming out, only to feel a hoof wipe them away. Opening her eyes again, she saw Zipp staring back at her with a firm look on her face.

“Hey, you’re the strongest pony I know, Sunny,” Zipp told her firmly as tears of her own appeared in the corners of her eyes. “You didn’t deserve to lose both of your parents at such a young age. You didn’t deserve to be rejected, treated like you’re nothing, and made to feel worthless. You lost everything and everypony in your life and you were alive to see them both go. But you know what?”

Sunny blinked back further tears. “What…?”

“You stuck it out for as long as you did. You kept on fighting. And even when times got tough, you never stopped believing…in us. Your Mom left behind a strong, confident, and capable daughter, and I’m sure she’s very proud of you…wherever she is now.”

“…You think so…?”

“Of course I do. They both are. Somewhere out there, both Argyle and your mom are smiling down at you. You made them proud, Sunny. You brought unity back to Equestria, and brought peace between ponykind, and there’s nothing more amazing than that.”

Sunny was touched by this. She knew she could confide in Zipp. The pegasus knew her in a way that others didn’t, and she was forever grateful that she had that. But still, she felt sad. She knew she had her friends to count on no matter what, but the hole in her heart left by both her parents’ passing continued to gnaw at her in a way she couldn’t quite describe. She needed more than just friendship to feel better, and she knew in her heart that it was something she could never have.

“But I just feel so alone…without my family to talk to…”

Zipp seemed to think about it for a moment, pondering her words over with a hoof to her chin. Then she suddenly appeared to get an idea. “Hmm…I think I know what to do. But I need you to go to sleep for me, okay? I promise I’ll be in as soon as I can.”

“What are you going to do…?” Sunny asked her cautiously. “Zipp, I don’t understand. I feel like I should be-“

“Do you trust me, Sunny?” Zipp interrupted her, looking her in the eyes with a sincere expression.

Sunny stared back at her, reluctantly nodding. “Of course I do, Zipp. I just-“

“Then trust me when I say you don’t want to know now,” the pegasus responded. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. I promise.”

Sunny didn’t want to leave. She wanted to know, and it was eating her up inside. But she also knew Zipp needed her privacy. Whatever she was doing, she required time to do it, time that would not be spent very productively as long as she was still here.

So she headed back upstairs against her better judgment and back to bed, hoping that her friend wasn’t about to try anything dangerous.

Zipp waited until the earth pony was fully gone before taking a deep breath. She grabbed her phone out from behind a pillow and opened up her emails. She hoped desperately that the other ponies would see it. Otherwise, her whole plan would be ruined.

Wasting no time, she began to type in the text box:

DEAR PONIES OF MARETIME BAY,
I AM REQUESTING A HUGE FAVOR FOR MY FRIEND, SUNNY STARSCOUT…

Sunny didn’t see anypony when she woke up the next day around noon. There was no sign of her friends or any activity in the Brighthouse. The cookies she normally stored in the refrigerator to be eaten later on were sat at the top, still in their bags and unopened. There was nopony in the living room. It was like her friends had vanished into thin air, never to be seen again.

She began to panic at the realization that they were missing, billions of possibilities. What happened?! Had Allura come in and abducted them? Had they all finally gotten fed up with her and decided to leave without saying anything? Perhaps Zipp was tired of seeing her constantly having insecurity problems and convinced them all to do so. Perhaps they didn’t care about her anymore. Suddenly, she was thrust back to those horrible days of when she was alone and an outcast, when she had nopony left in her life to rely on.

She blinked back tears from her eyes. Her worst fears had come true. No. This couldn’t be it. Zipp did say she had been working on something. They couldn’t’ve left her like her mother did. She couldn’t go through this again. She didn’t want to face those horrible thoughts again. She had to find them. She had to beg for their forgiveness, tell them that she was sorry for being too emotional and wasting their time. She was better than this. She knew better than to trust anyone else with her deepest fears.

“Please, no…” she said softly, her voice filled with despair. “Please don’t leave! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to get you mad, Zipp! Come back!!”

Quickly, she put on her saddlebag and ran to the double doors, her heart racing and tears cascading down her cheeks. She couldn’t lose them. Not now. She wasn’t going to. She had to get them back or else she would have no one. She would get on her knees and apologize over and over until they gave her another chance. She didn’t care if she looked silly while doing it. It would be worth it in the end.

As hard as she could, she pushed open the doors of the Brighthouse…and skidded to a halt as she was greeted with the most amazing sight she had ever seen.

It was every single pony in town, gathered right outside. They were all wearing black attire and seemed to be attending some sort of funeral service. But she had no idea there was even one planned. Nothing was scheduled. That was when she saw for who it was for and her heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

The ponies were standing in front of a single white tombstone off to the right. She knew that it couldn’t have been there before. It must have been created in the middle of the night or early morning before she woke up. On the center of it was a carving of her mother with her signature kind smile, tucking her into bed as a filly. The words read:

R.I.P
Stella Starscout
The best mother a pony could ever ask for.

Her friends were leading the ceremony. Zipp was giving a speech to the townsfolk about what she had discovered about Stella from both Sunny and the memory book itself. Upon seeing her, she turned to look at her.

“Hey, Sunny!” she called. “You made it! I was beginning to worry we were gonna have to do this without you.”

“What is all this?” Sunny asked her, still in shock.

Pipp stepped forward. “Zipp told us how you were feeling…about your Mom and…we both could relate to missing a parent you’ve forgotten.”

“So she got the whole town to put something together,” Misty finished, smiling. “It’s a proper burial. That way whenever you want to talk to your Mom, you can. She’ll be right outside the Brighthouse waiting for you.”

“She seriously got us all up at 4 in the morning just to dig a hole,” Posey grumbled. Upon receiving glares from the other ponies, she instantly backtracked. “Buuuut…I guess this is appropriate compensation for how we treated you all these years.”

“And we’re sorry for everything…” Dahlia added.

“So…what do you think?” Zipp asked hopefully.

Sunny’s eyes filled with tears. This time, however, they were tears of happiness. They had done all of this for her. She couldn’t believe it. It was at that moment she realized…her friends did understand her. They were her family. She had spent her whole life searching for that type of connection, constantly trying to fill the hole in her heart…when the answer was right in front of her the whole time. Her bond with her friends went deeper than any typical friendship, and she just had to be honest with them.

“Guys…I don’t know what to say…” Sunny said, her voice trembling. “Thank you…thank you, everypony…”

“Right back at ‘cha, Sunny…” Izzy affirmed, grinning.

“If you ever want ponies to look out for you,” Hitch told her kindly. “Look no further. We’re your family, Sunny. All of us.”

Sunny couldn’t hold back anymore. She ran towards her friends and embraced them, sobbing with joy. They held her tight and told her it was okay to share her feelings with them. The other ponies soon followed, coming in to hug her as well. This increased until the entirety of Maretime Bay had created one giant circle, all around the earth pony they had once rejected. They had at last seen the error of their ways and were now striving to treat her like one of them.

Her parents had sacrificed everything so their daughter could have a bright future and although times had certainly gotten tough, she wasn’t alone anymore. She had the best family in Equestria…right in front of her.

Author's Note

I’m BACK! Wait wait wait. That’s not right. Couldn’t keep me away from-! Ugh. I still can’t think of anything to say! You know what? Forget it. I’m back…again. This is like my third attempt at a comeback post-Misty Saga. I’m sure you’re all sick of my flip flopping at this point, but…rest assured, I am back, hopefully for real this time. Since I’m spacing out my upload schedule on the channel in favor of prioritizing the big, super long defense videos, I’m going to attempt to stage a triumphant comeback to this site and get back to writing more pony in my free time. I’ve missed doing this, honestly, and while I may be evidently a little out of practice, I look forward to re-honing my skills and getting every story I want to get done finished and more. That includes starting the Lunar Literary Universe as well as writing a ton of Elseworlds fics. Season 2 of Tell Your Tale has given me that creative spark back as you can see and I want to celebrate this new era of G5 in my own special way. I don’t know what the schedule’s gonna look like yet, but I’ve missed you guys a lot and while I’m making great strides on YouTube, I feel like I still have something to offer here, and I’m ready to try again.

As for this story…man, was this an emotional one to write. “Written In The Starscouts” is an absolutely fantastic episode that’s easily up there with this generation’s best. It’s easily “The Perfect Pear” of this show, both in terms of quality and premise. It also could not have come out at a more perfect time since I’m still grappling with the death of my grandfather. You can definitely feel a little bit of that grief in there. I guess it’s premises like this that I latch onto, since losing a loved one is a universal experience we all go through at some point, and I’m hoping I did it justice. Here’s hoping they do more with Sunny’s mom at some point, whether in the near future or in a potential Season 3. The possibilities are endless. For the name of Sunny’s mom, you’ll notice that I named her Stella. There’s a bit of context for that. This story follows the continuity of an Ink Rose-inspired headcanon I wrote on she and Argyle. I released that video on my channel not too long ago. I highly recommend you check it out in order to get a better understanding of this story as I use elements from it. But it’s not mandatory, so don’t worry. Since she’s unnamed in canon, I decided to give her a fan name and Stella seemed to be the most popular choice amongst fans.

Here’s the link to the headcanon: https://youtu.be/jUFpmpZ5kzU?si=pNZWrhRHPZPOtNw9

Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy and don’t forget to let me know what you think in the comments below. Your feedback is always appreciated. With that being said, this is Hawk Nightwing/Admiral Producer signing out until next time. Hoof to heart. :)