It was an ordinary Sunday afternoon. You had just finished a busy work week as one of the most skilled trauma surgeons in Equestria. After all, you were the only one in the whole country with fingers and opposable thumbs. Your lack of squeamishness or fear around blood was also a significant advantage. While your work in the trauma clinic in Ponyville was generally successful and lucrative, it was undoubtedly stressful. You bore the responsibilities of a gastroenterologist, orthopedic surgeon, and trauma specialist simultaneously, mending broken bones, replacing hips and shoulders, and performing emergency cecectomies and other GI procedures (common given the physiology of horses).
Before being transported to Equestria in a freak accident, you had been a third-year resident physician in a general surgery residency in the Midwest. After this dramatic change in your life, you had to learn an entirely different anatomy in a new environment, amidst a culture that did not emphasize surgery or intensive care within Equestria’s limited hospital infrastructure. Although you were paid extremely well for your life-saving services, you found it difficult to cope with the stress. With the money you earned in just one year, you bought a large four-bedroom house outside the center of Ponyville, furnished it, and even invited one especially nice and optimistic pony, Pinkie Pie, to live with you, allowing her to move out of the house of Mr. & Mrs. Cake. It was a nice change of pace for both of you. Even on Earth, you had lived a pretty solitary life, but having Pinkie around made all the difference. Her attitude and positivity created a lively environment in the house, even when she was out interacting with the rest of the Main 6.
At around 9 pm, the sun had long since set in the west, creating the perfect environment to unwind and relax a bit after a weekend of catching up on patient notes and primary care referrals from Dr. Horse and other providers who sent their patients to Ponyville just to see you. Pinkie Pie was out of the house; she had told you she was going to a slumber party at Twilight Sparkle’s house. Deciding that you probably had time and certainly the privacy, you set out to relieve some stress. After all, it would be a calming end to a hectic week and would allow you to feel sleepy enough to get a decent amount of rest before waking up early for the endoscopies you had scheduled for 6 am the next morning. It would only take 10-15 minutes; you had already taken a shower earlier in the day, so you could go to sleep afterward. It seemed like the perfect plan.
With the computer screen in front of you, you closed your patient note-filling software, logged out of the EMR, and opened a new tab, looking for the right material. You had some search terms that had spoken to you more than ever since arriving in Equestria, and you were soon on the right path. Thank goodness you could still access Earth websites through a handy-dandy VPN.
Within a few minutes, you were engrossed in the material in front of you, fortunately not needing to wear earphones as you usually did when Pinkie was home. After all, you didn’t want to corrupt her mind with any of your more... adult vices. You took out your fleshlight, a bright pink rubber toy, which was relatively clean from the last time you used it two weeks ago, from a drawer filled with miscellaneous pens and binder clips. After placing it on the desk beside you (just to keep the option available, of course), you focused on the material you had found. Just as you were getting into things, right in the heat of the moment, about halfway through an enthralling 20-minute video...
Pinkie Pie burst into your room, opening the door with her hoof in her signature energetic way, her vibrant pink mane bouncing with each step as she walked across the threshold. She wore an excited smile, her eyes wide with curiosity.
"Hey there, Anon! OOH! What are you up to?" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with boundless energy. "Ooh, is that a new toy?” she said pointing to the cylinder you had placed on the desk beside you. “Can I play with it?"
“Oh my GOD. Holy crap! What are you doing back so early?” you asked her as you attempted to cover yourself, your heart now beating through your chest. Within milliseconds, your face flushed with embarrassment as you realized Pinkie, your closest friend in Equestria and housemate, had caught you in the act of watching porn. Your mind raced, searching for the right words to explain the situation. But before you could speak, Pinkie hopped onto your bed, located just behind you and your computer chair, bouncing up and down for a few seconds in an immature, carefree manner. Soon, however, she calmed down and her eyes fixed on the monitor.
"Wow! What's that on your screen?" Pinkie leaned in, her voice filled with fascination. "It looks so interesting! Can I take a closer look?"
You stumbled over your words, attempting to find a way to address the situation. However, Pinkie paid no attention to your flustered state and only leaned in closer to the screen, her eyes widening in wonder and shock.
"Those ponies... um, I mean, humans are doing some really... ummmmmm, fascinating things!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with innocent curiosity. "What are they doing, Anon? Why are they moaning like that? Are they in pain or something? I know I moan like that when I have to carry really heavy orders from Sugarcube Corner…"
Your throat went dry as you tried to come up with a suitable explanation. Taking a deep breath, you decided to approach the topic with a touch of humor.
"Well, Pinkie, those are... um... adult videos," you began, your voice tinged with awkwardness. "They're meant for... um... grown-ups to watch when they're feeling... uh... in the mood."
Pinkie Pie tilted her head to the side, her eyes wide with wonder as she attempted to process your explanation.
"I guess that’s fine…I mean, after all, I’m an adult. I got my cutie mark and everything,” she says bearing her flank proudly.
“Well…it’s a bit different than that, Pinkie.”
“Okayyy. So... are they, like, playing a party game?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. "Are they having a lot of fun? I wanna join in too!"
A nervous chuckle escaped your lips as you realized the innocent interpretation Pinkie Pie had taken. It was both a little endearing and frankly quite amusing.
"Well, Pinkie, it's not exactly a ‘party game’," you clarified, your voice laced with gentle humor. "It's more like... um... a private activity that people do when they're alone."
Understanding dawned in Pinkie's eyes, though it seemed to be a half-understanding at best.
"Ohhhh, I get it now!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice overflowing with excitement now. "It's like when I have my alone time with my cupcakes and throw confetti parties in my room! Only, with humans and... different kinds of parties!"
You couldn't help but laugh at Pinkie's comparison, her enthusiasm infectious even in this awkward moment. Despite your best efforts to tell her about the importance of cleaning up after her one-pony parties, you had often come home to messy scenes with confetti, glitter, and small party props covering the ground.
"Yeah, something like that, Pinkie!" you replied, your voice filled with genuine mirth. "It's just a personal thing that people enjoy in their own way. But, um, maybe we should focus on something else right now, like planning our next party in Ponyville?"
Pinkie Pie nodded eagerly, but then abruptly changed her demeanor and shook her head; her curiosity did not appear sated as she hopped off your bed.
“Nahh, I don’t think I want to talk about that right now. I’m muuuch more interested in this stuff,” she said, gesturing toward the screen.
Still brimming with boundless energy, took a step closer to you, coming up with her head positioned just beyond your left knee as she looked at the screen. Likely noticing something out of the ordinary, her gaze shifting downward towards your lower half. Her eyes widened, a mix of confusion and intrigue fluttering around within them.
"Oooooh! What's that between your legs, Anon?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. "It looks different from anything I've seen before. Can I take a closer look?"
Your face turned an even deeper shade of crimson, feeling the weight of the awkwardness settle upon you once more. You hesitated, unsure of how to respond to Pinkie's inquisitive nature.
"Uh, Pinkie, that's, um... well, that's a… part of the human body," you stammered, your voice betraying a mixture of discomfort and amusement. "It's called a p-penis. It's something that guys have." You found it difficult to even talk about these things, as you were so mentally unprepared.
Pinkie Pie's eyes sparkled with fascination as she leaned in closer (maybe a bit too close for comfort), her gaze fixed on you and then upon your screen.
"So tell me honestly… what's on your screen, Anon?" Pinkie asked, her voice eager and filled with curiosity. "I see those people touching each other... and... oh, is that what they're doing with the penis? It looks like they're having a lot of fun! I think it kind of reminds me of hugs, a subject on which yours truly is a verified expert!"
You gulped, trying to find the right words to explain the explicit content displayed on your screen to Pinkie Pie, who seemed genuinely intrigued by the human activities she was witnessing.
"Well, Pinkie, what you're seeing is, um... called porn," you explained, your voice tinged with unease. "It's a form of entertainment that some people enjoy. It's... um... intimate and can be pleasurable for them."
Pinkie Pie tilted her head, her eyes never leaving the screen as she absorbed your explanation.
"So, they're having fun with their bodies?" Pinkie asked, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. "Can ponies do that too? I've never thought of doing something like that before!"
“Really, you never have, aren’t you like twent-…” you start to blurt out almost instinctively.
You quickly stopped yourself and shook your head, attempting to divert Pinkie's attention away from the explicit content on your screen.
"No, Pinkie, that's something that's pretty specific to humans," you replied, your voice filled with a mix of relief and concern for her innocence. "Ponies have different ways of experiencing fun."
Pinkie Pie's curiosity seemed momentarily satisfied, and she stepped back from the screen, her mind buzzing.
"Wow, Anon, you sure have shown me a lot of interesting things today!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice bubbling with excitement. "I never knew humans could do all these things! I'm glad I got to learn something new!"
You couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating Pinkie's boundless enthusiasm.
"Well, Pinkie, I'm glad I could share something new with you," you replied, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Isn’t it kind of late for you? What happened to that sleepover anyway?"
“Oh, they canceled it, something about Twilight having chlamydia and Applejack having a pregnancy scare from Big Mag.”
“What the fuck?” you ask. “Are you serious?”
“Hell no, of course not!!!” she said, keeling over with laughter.
After a few moments of laughing through amused tears, Pinkie Pie's eyes lit up again as she bounced on the balls of her hooves out of the room.
“Wait,” you called out to her before she left. “Why did you say all those things about Twi and Applejack?”
Stopping just beyond the door, she looked back at you.
“Oh, silly Anon. I’m not as innocent of a filly as you might think…” she said walking sultrily out the door and down the hall to her room.
=====☼=====
Over the next few days, Pinkie Pie–seemingly much more content with asking somewhat awkward questions–would approach you at every opportunity, bombarding you with questions about human anatomy, intimate activities, and the intricacies of the adult content she had witnessed. No matter how much you tried to change the subject or divert her attention, Pinkie remained fixated on the topic.
"Anon, how does the penis work?"
"Anon, what does it feel like to engage in those activities?"
"Anon, do you think ponies could have similar experiences? Maybe we could try it out!"
You found yourself at a loss for words, caught between amusement and discomfort. While Pinkie's relentless questioning and desire to explore new experiences were endearing, her approach to such intimate matters was overwhelming. Plus, as things ramped up in your surgical ward, you felt exasperated by all the questions and found it uncomfortable to even sit down and have dinner with your housemate when you knew what sort of topics awaited you. Even being home became an onerous chore.
In all frankness, you were also feeling the worsening effects of the diet that you had at home; along with all of your professional and interpersonal (interponial?) stress with Pinkie, her insistence on baking cakes for you EVERY. GODDAMN. DAY. was giving you sugar migraines. You honestly didn’t even want to order a comprehensive metabolic panel on yourself since you were afraid to know what your glucose levels were.
One night, you were sitting across from her, and both of you had plates piled high with apple fritters that Pinkie made after a trip to Sweet Apple Acres.
“Nonny?” she started to ask, using the nickname that secretly irked him to no end. “Do you ever…get hard down there for no reason, just like, randomly?” nearly whispering the last half of her question.
"Pinkie, I appreciate your curiosity, but these are personal and private matters," you would explain, your voice laced with a mix of awkwardness and a firm rejection of the direction of her questioning. "They are meant for consenting adults and, um, not really suitable for ponies."
Pinkie Pie would pout, her lower lip trembling slightly.
"But Anon, I just want to understand and experience everything!" she protested, her voice tinged with disappointment. "I thought we-… I thought w-we were friends, and friends share everything, even the intimate stuff." You could see tears forming in the corners of her large blue eyes.
You couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, realizing that Pinkie's intent was never to make you uncomfortable but to deepen her understanding of the world. *Your world*. With a sigh, you decided to approach the situation with honesty and gentle guidance.
"Pinkie, I value our friendship, and I understand your curiosity," you would respond, your voice filled with sincerity. "But some things are better left to personal exploration and discovery. It's important to respect boundaries and privacy, even among friends."
Pinkie Pie would nod, her eyes filled with a mix of understanding and a hint of disappointment.
"I guess you're right, Anon," she would say, her voice softening. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable or violate your boundaries. I just got carried away a liiiiittle bit there with my curiosity. I'm sorry…even all my friends here in Ponyville think the same thing. I hear how they go on and on and on behind my back saying ‘Pinkie is just too much’, it’s tough, but I guess you are just like them. Even humans from other dimensions can’t handle me,” she said, nearly bawling and looking despondently down at the fritters.
“No Pinkie, I-...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stifle your curiosity. How about this,” you started to bargain and console. “Let’s just keep the questions to a minimum. That way we can stay the best of friends.”
“BFFs?” sniffling with some hope and looking back up at you.
“Of course!” you respond, happy that she seemed to be cheering up.
You smile warmly, appreciating Pinkie's willingness to understand.
"And honestly, it's alright, Pinkie. We all have moments of curiosity, and it's perfectly normal," you would reassure her. "Just remember that there are certain things that are meant to be private, and it's important to respect that."
Pinkie Pie would give you a grateful nod, her energy returning as she bounced back into her usual cheerful demeanor and ate up the rest of the fritters on her plate, obviously hungry from her crying.
"Thanks, Anon! I ….promise I'll be more…. mindful in the future," Pinkie said in between bites.
You were just happy you averted a friendship catastrophe, at least for now.
=====☼=====
As the Friday evening rolled around, you found yourself engrossed in a private moment. It was a tough week with lots of problematic and complex patients. You hadn’t even thought about choking the chicken since last Sunday due to Pinkie’s incessant questions. Although she had gotten better in the last few days, she didn’t stop completely. Finally regaining the house to yourself when Pinkie said she would visit Maud and Mudbriar, who were in town for a geology convention. Pinkie seemed happy to go and she bought lots of presents for Maud, even though she complained without end to you about how much she didn’t mesh with her boyfriend.
Sometimes you seriously questioned why you let such an over-the-top pony live with you…but you tried not to ponder those questions too much. You knew you were doing the right thing. Anyway, you returned your thoughts to your own ‘focuses’ with the assistance of your ol’ faithful, your pink fleshlight. After a few minutes of being lost in the intimate sensations, you didn't notice the door slowly creaking open.
To your surprise, Pinkie Pie stood there, her eyes wide with curiosity and intrigue. You guess she had not yet actually left as you thought. She peered over your shoulder, her gaze fixated on the explicit scene unfolding before her.
"Whoa, Anon! What's that thing you're using? It looks so interesting!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with unabashed curiosity. "I remember that thing from last time! Yes, I do! Can I touch it? Does it feel good?"
Your face flushed with pure embarrassment. You hadn't expected Pinkie to walk in on you AGAIN, let alone be so openly interested in what you were doing once more.
"Well, Pinkie, I guess I can’t hide this now, this is called a fleshlight," you replied, your voice tinged with an odd conflation of awkwardness and amusement. "It's a device designed to… simulate the sensation of, well, intercourse. It can provide pleasure and a unique experience."
Pinkie Pie's eyes sparkled with excitement as she leaned in closer, her hoof reaching out to touch the textured surface of the fleshlight.
"So, it's like a fancy toy for adults? I love toys" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. "Does it really feel like the real thing? I'm so curious!"
Hmmm, you really don’t think she’s getting the message of what this is used for or the underlying awkwardness of the situation.
You hesitated for a moment, contemplating how to respond. Ultimately, you decided to humor Pinkie, knowing her insatiable curiosity wouldn't be easily satisfied with a simple explanation.
"Well, Pinkie, why don't you give it a try?" you offered. "Poke it with your hoof. You can see for yourself how it feels."
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened, her excitement visible as she eagerly accepted your invitation. With a mischievous grin, she took hold of the fleshlight, her hooves exploring its texture and design.
"Wow, Anon, it's so soft and squishy!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with childlike wonder. "I can see why ponies…or people… might find this pleasurable. It's like a party for your private parts!"
You couldn't help but chuckle at Pinkie's comparison, her knack for turning any situation into a celebration shining through even in this weird moment.
As Pinkie continued to explore the fleshlight, she bombarded you with a flurry of questions, her curiosity seemingly insatiable.
"Anon, what's this part here? Does ‘it’ go inside?" Pinkie inquired, her voice filled with innocent curiosity.
"Does it vibrate or make any fun noises?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"How long can you use it before you, um, reach the 'party climax'?" Pinkie questioned, her voice filled with genuine curiosity.
You found yourself answering each of Pinkie's questions, stunned by her unfiltered inquisitiveness. Despite the initial awkwardness, you couldn't deny the fun and lightheartedness of the situation and Pinkie's genuine desire to learn.
After a while, Pinkie Pie returned the fleshlight to you, her eyes gleaming with a newfound sense of satisfaction.
"Thanks for letting me try it, Anon!” Pinkie said.
You nodded, debating whether to tell her that she had, in fact, not truly ‘used’ it or ‘tried it out’.
"I never thought I'd have a 'private showing’ like this, but it was definitely an eye-opening experience or more like a ‘hole-opening’ experience!" she chuckled to herself.
You chuckled too. Man, you loved this pony’s humor.
“One last question, Nonny…:
“Yes, what is it, Pinkie?”
“Why the fuck is your fleshlight pink?” she asked with a humiliating, knowing laugh.
“Uhhhh…” you remained quiet, closed your mouth, pulled up your pants, and left the room, not being able to furnish a good answer. Meanwhile, Pinkie, being her usual self, nearly died of laughter.
=====☼=====
For the first time in what felt like forever, you had a respite from Pinkie later that day when she actually did go to dinner with Maud and Mudbriar. It was nice to know that you had (somewhat) escaped explaining the awkward truth of why your fleshlight was pink. That was something you really didn’t wish to get into with her.
Notably, in all of this time, you had not been able to successfully ‘bust’ due to Pinkie’s constant interruptions.
Finally, taking a breath, you decide to once again start to lower the fleshlight down toward your crotch and–
As if on FUCKING. CUE. Pinkie Pie bursts into the room with her usual exuberance, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she scanned the room, her gaze eventually landing on you.
“Jeez, Pinkie, what in the everloving FUCK is your problem!” you scream. “Do I need to start putting padlocks on doors or something?”
"Hahah, nah, no need to do that, Anon! Anywhooo, I've been thinking about what we talked about earlier," Pinkie said, her voice filled with excitement. "And I just can't help but wonder, why do you need such a fancy toy when I've got all the ‘parts’ it has, as it were?"
You blinked, taken aback by Pinkie's straightforward question. Her innocent yet direct approach left you momentarily speechless.
"Pinkie, um, I appreciate your curiosity, but... well, you see, the fleshlight is a device designed to enhance certain sensations," you explained, your voice tinged with a mix of awkwardness and amusement. "It's used to simulate a specific experience, and it's not something that ponies naturally have. And who said I want to do it with you anyway?” you add, a bit annoyed at how many times you essentially had to explain the same thing over and over again.
Pinkie Pie tilted her head, her eyes wide with genuine confusion.
"But Anon, don't we have all the same parts? Can't we experience those awesome sensations without any fancy gadgets?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with earnest curiosity.
You hesitated, trying to find the right words to explain the differences between human and pony anatomy to Pinkie Pie. Even as a doctor, this was a tough task.
"Well, Pinkie, while there might be similarities between our anatomy, there are also key differences," you started, choosing your words carefully. "Certain devices are designed to produce a particular feeling and feel via friction and stuff. Does that make sense? And, well, they can also help explore different feelings that might be difficult or impossible to replicate naturally."
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened with understanding, but her curiosity remained unquenched.
"Can you show me how it works, Anon?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with a mix of eagerness and innocence. "I promise I won't get weird or anything, I just want to understand!"
“What the heck do you mean?”
“Just use it for me, and I’ll watch. I guess my curiosity just comes from not seeing it in action.”
You sighed, realizing that Pinkie's relentless curiosity would not be easily satisfied. With quite a bit of apprehension, you decided to indulge her and provide a simplified demonstration.
"Alright, Pinkie, but keep in mind that this is just for educational purposes, okay?" you said, your voice laced with a hint of caution. "I'll show you how it works, but please remember that these devices are intended for adult use."
Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically; she was eager to learn.
Starting off, you take your index and middle fingers and insert them into the toy.
“No, no, no, no, NO! That’s not what I meant, Anon.”
“What, I am trying to show you how things work.”
“I think you know that I need to see you use it like you actually would!”
Realizing that arguing with Pinkie is like banging your head against a brick wall, you acquiesce.
You carefully started off, gesturing toward your junk, pointing at it with your index finger and cautiously inserting it into the toy, pushing your way through the soft pink silicone lips. You push all the way in and bottom out, looking over to Pinkie Pie.
“Happy? Is that good enough?”
“I think you know very well that it isn’t, Nonny.”
“Uhhh, fine,” you sign.
You start rhythmically moving the toy up and down, moving your shaft in and out of the apparatus. It was extremely (unbelievably) weird being watched, but you guessed you just had to deal with it.
Ever curious Pinkie didn’t let up with her questions.
"Does it feel different than, um, regular intimate activities?" she inquired.
“Yeah, it is, I mean this thing is not living, so the, erm..emotional…side of things is not there.”
“What do you mean, Nonny?”
“It’s just… you know, it doesn’t talk. You can’t really get much feedback from it, no matter what you do, haha!”
“I guess you’re right. It doesn’t have as much energy and pep as yours truly, now does it?”
“Uh…no need to get that personal with it, Pinkie.”
“Oh, haha, sorry,” she apologized meekly.
As you grew closer and closer to the conclusion of the session, trying to finish as quickly as possible to extricate yourself from the awkwardness of the circumstances, Pinkie continued to ask questions.
As you answered Pinkie's questions, you could see her absorbing the lewd information, you could see the ostensibly innocent gears of her mind turning. While the situation was undeniably unconventional, you appreciated Pinkie's genuine thirst for understanding (and hopefully not too much of a thirst for much else).
"Wow, Anon, that's so fascinating! I never thought there were so many ways to explore how humans have fun," Pinkie exclaimed. "Thank you for showing me, even if it might be a little too advanced for us ponies."
You smiled, relieved that Pinkie seemed satisfied with the demonstration and grateful for her open-mindedness and willingness to learn. Maybe she would be satisfied without seeing the “end” of your show.
"You're welcome, Pinkie. I'm glad I could shed some light on the topic," you replied, your replete filled with genuine appreciation. "I guess I’ll just stop right here then…”
“Just hold on there! I want to see the finale! Your…confetti cannon, if you can.”
Knowing there was no pulling the wool over her eyes now, you decided just to finish without much extra flourish, just to be done with this hellishly odd experience.
You focused on the task at hand, trying to maintain your composure, but Pinkie couldn't help but interject with her usual witty commentary as you edged ever closer to ‘letting the glue out of the factory’ (forgive me if you are reading this, I love euphemisms).
"Awww, Anon, are you blushing? Is it getting hot in here, or is it just the intensity of the moment?" Pinkie asked with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You are sooooo cute! Just look at you go! Don't worry, I won't tell anypony about your little ‘private party’!"
Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but you couldn't help but laugh instinctively at Pinkie's playful teasing.
"Thanks, Pinkie. I appreciate your discretion," you replied, your voice almost strangled by the bizarreness of the exchange. "Let's just say this is an intimate experience that can make anyone feel a little self-conscious."
Pinkie nodded, her usual bubbly energy tempered with a touch of understanding.
"I get it, Anon. Sometimes, even the most confident party ponies can feel a bit shy," Pinkie said, her voice filled with empathy. "And with that little thing between your legs, I get why you would be a bit embarrassed!" she added, blushing a bit.
“What the HELL?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, it's just…I’m sure you are awesome by human standards, but here in Ponyville, it's just a bit…lacking,” she said, gesturing a small space in between her raised hooves to accentuate how small she thought it was.
“But don’t worry, Nonny,” she added, “I love you anyway!”
“I’m just going to focus on this now,” you said, striving to not comment on this topic anymore.
"Come on! You got it, Anon! Now, let's see that finale! Do you want me to cheer you on?”
“Honestly, not reall-”
“Let’s go, Nonny! Give me a ‘C’, give me a ‘U’, give ‘M’, put it all together, what does that spell? CUM! Let’s see it now! Cum, batter, batter, cum!
As you approached the climax of the demonstration, Pinkie's eyes widened with amazement. Her usual peppy and humorous demeanor kicked into high gear as cheered even louder.
“We've got spirit, yes, we do! Come on anon, shoot out your goo!”
“I believe that you will cum, I believe that you will cum, I believe that you will cum, I believe that you will cum!!!!!”
“Olé, Olé, I believe Anon will cum today!” she continued on. “Nonny, Nonny, he’s our man, if he can’t cum, no one can!”
“PINKIE! STOP”
“I even wrote a song for this occasion, Nonny, want to hear it?”
“HELL, N-”
“Okay then, here it comes,” she announced as she started to sing to the tune of Georgia Tech’s fight song :
Oh, Anon’s a Ramblin' Wreck from Equestria Tech, and a hell of a goddamn queer–
A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, hell of a goddamn queer.
Like all the jolly good fellows, he drinks his cum shots clear.
He’s a Ramblin' Wreck from Equestria Tech and one hell of a goddamn queer.
YAY, GO, FIGHT, WIN, CUM!
“PINKIE!!!!” you shout at the top of your lungs, half enraged, half choking on air from laughing so hard.
“I have more!”
“NOOOO!
She increases her vocal volume as she starts singing to the tune of Wisconsin University’s fight song:
On, Ano-on! On, Ano-on! Jerk that fucking dick!
First, go slower, then go faster, that will do the trick,
On, Ano-on! On, Ano-on! Come here for me now!
Jerk it, Ano-on, I know you know how!
As this absurdly strange demonstration reached its climax, you felt your body making its characteristic minuscule contractions and your hips started to buck. Within a moment, your breath hitched and you unloaded with more force and volume than you could remember into the fleshlight.
Pinkie looked on, smiling, her mouth ajar with a degree of surprise from the display.
“Looks like my cheers worked, Nonny!”
“How did you even know those songs?”
“I use your computer sometimes and I loooove fight songs! It's so cool how on earth they have whole songs dedicated to being peppy and celebrating a…what is it called again? A touchback?”
“A touchdown.”
“RIGHT, a touchdown! It’s sooo cool. That whole sport reminds me of hoofball.”
There was a moment of silence as you caught your breath and allowed your core and leg muscles to relax.
But, as always, Pinkie had more questions.
"Anon, after all the partying is done, how do you clean that thing? Do you hire a cleaning crew, do you dry clean it, or is it a DIY affair?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with amusement. "And do you throw it in the dishwasher for a sparkling clean, or is it more of a hand-wash situation?"
You couldn't help but laugh at Pinkie's direct & unconventional line of questioning.
"Well, Pinkie, it's definitely a DIY affair. You'll want to rinse it with warm water and use some sort of brush or cleaner specifically designed for this purpose. No dishwashers involved!"
Pinkie's eyes widened with curiosity, her mind already racing with creative ideas.
"Anon, can I borrow your fleshlight for a prank? Imagine the looks on Rarity and Sweetie Belle’s faces when they find it in their dishwasher!" Pinkie exclaimed, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "It'll be the ultimate party surprise!"
You burst into laughter at Pinkie's outrageous suggestion.
"As tempting as that sounds, Pinkie, I think it's best to keep the fleshlight for personal use only," you replied. "Pranks are fun, but it's important to respect boundaries too!"
Pinkie gave a perfunctory nod, her energy undeterred.
"Anon, what about the inside? Can I take a peek and see what’s happening in there?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with excitement. "Who knows, maybe there's a tiny disco ball and a DJ playing party tunes!"
You couldn't help but chuckle at Pinkie's vivid imagination.
As Pinkie Pie's curiosity continued to pique and she looked at you pleadingly, you found yourself considering her request to take a look inside the fleshlight. After all, what harm could it do? With a mischievous grin of your own, you decided to give in to Pinkie's request, ready to witness her reaction.
"Alright, Pinkie, I'll let you take a look inside," you said, a playful glint in your eye. "But be prepared for a surprise. Who knows what kind of party you'll find in there!" you add sarcastically.
Pinkie's eyes widened with excitement as you handed her the used fleshlight. With a mix of anticipation and curiosity, she peered inside, her face lighting up with wonder.
"Anon, it's like you emptied a whole pudding in there!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with awe. "Or maybe like a yogurt or something; it kind of smells weird though. Not bad…just unusual…"
You couldn't help but burst into laughter at Pinkie's food allegories/
"Well, Pinkie, it seems you've discovered the secret party headquarters," you replied, your voice filled with amusement. "Who knew pleasure could be so tasty-looking?" you add, almost making yourself nauseous with your corny remarks.
Pinkie nodded enthusiastically, her eyes gleaming with excitement.
“Hey there! I know this may sound weird…but whatever you put in there, it just looks so delicious, like frosting almost (and I looove frosting)! Do you mind if I... um, lick or taste it?”
Surprised by her bold request, but not really caring at this point with an “in for a penny, in for a pound” mentality, you decided to oblige. "Sure, Pinkie. If it's something you're curious about, just go ahead and give it a taste."
Pinkie's eyes lit up with excitement as she eagerly looked once more at the fleshlight. "Oh, thank you! I've always wondered what it would be like.”
“What a weird comment,” you thought to yourself.
Pinkie's tongue darted out, wetting her lips with anticipation before she pressed it against the smooth surface of the fleshlight. Her tongue swirled around, tasting the remnants left behind. "Mmm, it's so unique! The texture is different from anything I've ever licked before. It's like a creamy sensation against my taste buds."
As she continued to ‘explore’, Pinkie's playful nature came to life. Her tongue danced with a mixture of curiosity and hunger, as if she was savoring a sweet treat. "Oh, it's so interesting! The way it feels against my tongue, the lingering taste... It's definitely a new experience for me! But so AWESOME!"
You watched, both intrigued and slightly taken aback by Pinkie's unfiltered enthusiasm.
Pinkie's tongue continued to glide over the fleshlight, occasionally dipping into the various crevices and grooves that were located below. Her expressions of pleasure were evident as she felt these new sensations. "Mmm, it's so smooth and silky. I can't get enough of it. It's like I am eating something living, if that makes sense!"
“Yeah, I totally understand why that might be,” you added.
As Pinkie's exploration came to an end with her putting her mouth over the toy’s slit and slurping up whatever she could. "That was incredible! Thank you for letting me experience this. It was like licking a scrumptious work of your own, hand-made delicacy, Nonny!" she laughed, the edges of her mouth covered with this so-called ‘delicacy’.
=====☼=====
The next day, Pinkie bounced into the room with a familiar mischievous glint in her eyes. Her pink coat shimmered under the soft glow of your bedroom’s lights illuminated by a set of warm yellow lights from a standing lamp; her curly mane and tail swayed playfully as she rocked and danced around.
"Pinkie Pie, what brings you here?" you asked, taking a sip of a nice morning cup of black tea that you had on a mug on your desk as you looked over some radiology images sent to you from the clinic. Your curiosity was piqued by her presence after yesterday’s bizarre interaction.
"Oh, I've been thinking all these interesting things about your fleshlight, and I couldn't help but wonder," Pinkie Pie said, her voice laced with a mix of innocence and suggestive undertones. "Can I maybe sometimes take its place? You know, be your ‘fleshlight’ instead?"
You spat out your tea, nearly dousing your keyboard and monitor. Pinkie Pie was known for her unpredictable nature and her desire to bring joy to those around her, but this request would take anyone by surprise.
Without hesitation, Pinkie Pie sauntered closer, her eyes fixated on yours, as if daring you to give in to this offer. Her presence radiated an undeniable allure, and a tingle of excitement ran through your veins.
Not knowing what to say, you found yourself nodding, unable to resist the temptation that Pinkie Pie exuded. She giggled, a playful sound that sent shivers down your spine, and without further ado, she reached her hoof up to your forearm gently caressin-
Wait, no, hold up a minute.
You swat Pinkie’s hoof down and look at her sternly.
“Hold your horses…I mean, just wait a second. I know what you are going for, and this is not the way to go.”
“Wait, what? Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. We are housemates, Pinkie! If we did anything like *this*, it would completely jeopardize our entire relationship at home and make it really awkward.”
“Are you 100% sure, Nonny? I mean…I have seen your favorite stories on FimFiction and half of them are about me getting screwed in the ass, bukkaked, tied down and bred, or facefucked. And that’s not even touching the gore and vore stuff I know you like. I saw those types of stories on MULTIPLE occasions, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
“Okay, we’ll have to talk about computer privacy etiquette at another time, but as for now, I just think you are not thinking rationally, you just want something now based on a feeling of infatuation.”
“No, Nonny! You are my best friend, the person who gave me a place to live and put up with my cooking every day. I really, really like you. I would even say… I love you.”
“That’s exactly it, I have been a good housemate and let you live here for a long time for free. I listen to you, I play games with you, it’s no wonder you feel a level of dependence and connection to me that seems to be manifesting in an admittedly…intimate manner.”
“Okay, I guess I can see what you're saying,” she says, feigning a pout, “but I will MAKE YOU LOVE ME!”
With that she turned around and ran out of the house, obviously bolting off to some sort of harebrained scheme.
The bright sunlight of a cloudless midday over Equestria illuminated the streets of the town and your much-deserved lunch break couldn't have come sooner. After a grueling morning of surgeries, the sterile smell of the operating room still lingered in your nostrils as you made your way through the streets of Ponyville.
“Looks like the lunch rush is in full swing,” you say to yourself, looking at the semi-crowded streets and how you stuck out like a sore thumb standing on two legs and being a good 2-3 feet taller than the other ponies around you. Initially, you were intent on going to the new sushi restaurant that opened up next to Rarity’s boutique; however, passing by Sugarcube Corner, you decided to pop in and see Pinkie Pie, your perpetually cheerful housemate. After all, she had been kind of quiet in the last few days after the…events, which occurred between you two.
Pushing open the door to the bakery, you were immediately enveloped in a sugary-sweet fragrance that chased away the antiseptic scent clinging to your scrubs. Pinkie Pie was behind the counter, her bright pink mane bouncing and folding on itself with every movement as she greeted customers with her trademark enthusiasm.
"Hey there, Doc!" she exclaimed, her blue eyes sparkling with delight as she spotted you. "You made it! I've been waiting for you all morning!"
“Doc?” you questioned, she had never called you this before. “Who are you, Bugs Bunny?”
“Who?”
Oh…right. You realized she might not have gotten that reference.
“Nevermind. How are you today?”
“Great! Sooooooo AWESOME! As you probably know, we are rolling out our new quadruple syrup special tort today! Is that why you came by?”
You didn’t know about this development, but decided to play along to keep up with Pinkie’s enthusiasm. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, Pinkie," you replied, making your way over to her. "How's business today?"
"Ooh, it's been super-duper amazing!" she exclaimed, practically vibrating with excitement. "I've been trying out some new recipes too, and I think I've finally cracked the code for the perfect frosting swirl! Oh, and you have to try the cupcakes I made this morning—they're to die for!"
As she chattered on about her latest culinary experiments, Pinkie reached out and pulled you into a tight hug, nearly knocking the breath out of you. But you couldn't help but laugh at her infectious energy.
"Okay, okay, Pinkie, I get it!" you chuckled, gently extricating yourself from her embrace. "You're the baking queen of Ponyville,” you added, doing a fake worshiping gesture with your hands.
She grinned from ear to ear, her blue eyes shining with pride. "You bet I am! But guess what? I've got an even *better* idea for a new ingredient to add to our cakes and cupcakes!"
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh? Do tell, Pinkie. What's this groundbreaking ingredient of yours?"
She leaned in close, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "It's... drumroll, please... your cum! Specifically your cum!"
You blinked in surprise, almost losing the ability to speak. "Cum? In cupcakes? And mine?"
Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, yes! Think about it! The tangy flavor of cum, combined with the sweetness of our treats—it's a flavor explosion waiting to happen!" she laughed, covering her mouth with her hoof.
You couldn't help but get a bit angry, “Are you sick in the head? I would argue this is crazy and totally unethical! Why do you think people would want to eat this?"
"Aawwww, why so grumpy? You need to have more spirit!" Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of her hooves. "Come on, I’ll show you how good they can be; help me whip up a batch! Just wait one teenie-tiny second, I’ll go get a cup!"
She dashed off to the kitchen, leaving a trail of flour in her wake and returning as fast as she had left.
She holds out the cup between two of her outstretched hooves, looking at you pleadingly with her big blue eyes.
“No, Pinkie, I’m not doing this for you…Especially NOT HERE!”
“Come on, pretty pleeeease? I need it, Nonny; the cum adds that extra 'oomph' to the flavor. Why not give it a try?"
You raise an eyebrow, slightly taken aback. "But isn't that kind of... gross? Like completely repulsive. I mean, using someone's... um, 'seed' in food?"
Pinkie giggles mischievously, her pink mane bouncing along. "Silly Anon, don't you know that I'm all about pushing the boundaries; how else are we going to crush the competition?"
You scratch your head, still unsure about the whole idea. "But wouldn't that be, like, crossing some boundaries? Isn’t there a health code to follow? And plus why would I give it to you? I mean, it's a pretty intimate thing, isn't it?"
Pinkie shrugs. "Boundaries, shmoundaries! We're all friends here, and friends share everything, right? Besides, it's not like I'm forcing you to do anything you don't want to.”
Deciding that you could maybe just take whatever receptacle she wants you to use and just fill it with something else that just resembles cum; Pinkie will be none the wiser. At least this conversation will be over.
“Okay, Pinkie. How do you want me to collect it?”
Pinkie winks and pulls out a small jar from seemingly nowhere. "Oh, I've got that all figured out! You can just go about your day and whenever you feel like sharing, you’ll collect it in this special jar! It'll be like a super secret ingredient, known only to a select few! And look, I even put my picture on the side of the jar, just so you alwaaaaays know who it's for!"
You chuckle nervously. "Well, okay, I guess."
Pinkie grins, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Totally perfect! We'll make the most amazing cupcakes ever! And don't worry your 'seed' will be treated with the utmost care and respect. It'll be like a super cool magical sprinkle of flavor."
You roll your eyes at this degeneracy, taking the jar, sighing, and walking out of Sugarcube Corner.
A few minutes later, you find yourself standing in front of a shelf in the local Ponyville market, staring at an array of jars. You reach for a can of condensed milk; this would be perfect. The consistency and slightly darkened color would be perfect for convincing Pinkie that what he had put in the jar had aged a bit. The thought of cum cupcakes still makes your stomach churn and you were happy you were substituting the vile ingredient with something more harmless. As much as you love Pinkie's enthusiasm and creativity, you just couldn't bear to see her make those potentially unappetizing treats and make innocent ponies sick.
To give the illusion of realism, you keep the jar and your plan secret for a few days, attempting to fool Pinkie into thinking that you were actually filling the jar, little by little. After four days, you sour a small amount, likely not more than 25 milliliters or so, into the jar. The color and consistency felt right on, or at least as close as you could reasonably be.
You walk back to see Pinkie at her work during another day’s lunch break; stepping inside, you see she is already bouncing around the kitchen, her energy as infectious as ever as she goes around applying frosting to cakes. She spots you immediately and rushes over, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
“Doc! Did you get the cum? Did you, did you?” she asks, practically vibrating with joy.
You nod, trying to keep a straight face as you hand her the jar. “Yep, got them right here.”
Pinkie grabs the jar eagerly, her eyes widening with delight. “Yay! I can’t wait to make those cum cupcakes! I’m going to call them my ‘double chocolate special surprise’ cupcakes. This is going to be the best thing ever!” She hugs the jar to her chest and looks at it for a moment, “Why so little though?”
“Humans don’t make that much, Pinkie. Plus, evaporation you know…:
She briefly opened up the jar and took a whiff, “hmmm, that’s NOT the smell I remember. But I guess that’s just the jar, haha. To me, it smells like milk or something!” Clearly not thinking too deeply about it, Pinkie darted back to the kitchen to start her new experiment.
For the next hour, you watch as Pinkie mixes, stirs, and bakes, completely absorbed in her task. You try to help out where you can, but mostly, you stay out of her way, hoping your little trick goes unnoticed.
Finally, Pinkie pulls a tray of cupcakes out of the oven, the rich smell of chocolate filling the air. She carefully pipes frosting onto each one, her face a mask of concentration. When she finishes, she beams at you, holding up a cupcake triumphantly.
“Here it is! The very first Pinkie’s cum—oops, I mean Double Chocolate Special Surprise Cupcake!” she announces, giggling at her own slip-up.
You take the offered cupcake, trying to mask your apprehension. “Thanks, Pinkie. It looks... interesting.”
She watches eagerly as you take a cautious bite. The cupcake’s center is extremely moist. Thank goodness there was no actual semen in it. Otherwise, the cupcake wasn’t half bad. The chocolate was rich and decadent, with a faint earthiness that must come from the excess baked milk. It was unusual, but not unpleasant. You found yourself finishing the cupcake, much to Pinkie’s delight.
“So? What do you think?” she asks, bouncing on her hooves.
You nod, genuinely impressed. “It’s actually pretty good, Pinkie. You’ve outdone yourself.”
Pinkie beams, her smile as wide as ever. “I knew it! I just knew it! We’re going to be famous for these! And plus, watching you eat that made me so freaking wet, you don’t know how hot that was so see!”
You smile back, both relieved and creeped out by her thirstiness; as long as she didn’t poison any of her customers, you were sanguine.
Later that day, you went back home, feeling a sense of victory. Though managed to steer Pinkie Pie away from the potential disaster of cum chocolate cupcakes without hurting her feelings or squashing her creative spirit, you didn’t know if some other snag was waiting for you.
Just as you begin to relax, the front door bursts open with a *BANG*, and Pinkie Pie storms in. Her normally cheerful face is flushed with anger, her eyes blazing.
“Anonymous!” she shouts, her voice trembling with fury. “We need to talk!”
You sit up straight, taken aback by her uncharacteristic tone. “Pinkie? What’s wrong?”
She marches over to you, holding the now-empty jar of pickled green beans. “This! This is what’s wrong!” she exclaims, shaking the jar. “I tasted the ingredient you gave me, and it’s not cum at all! You tricked me!”
You sigh, knowing the moment of reckoning has arrived. “Pinkie, I—”
“Why did you do it?” she interrupts, her voice breaking with hurt. “I thought we were friends! I trusted you, and you lied to me!”
You take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “Pinkie, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just worried about your customers. Cum chocolate cupcakes could have been... well, too unconventional and potentially dangerous. I thought substituting in some condensed milk might help you create something new without risking a culinary disaster…and plus, I feel like with a request like that, you were just trying to get a rise out of me.”
Pinkie’s eyes narrow, her hurt giving way to a mixture of confusion and frustration. “But you didn’t even give me a chance to try it my way! You just assumed it would be bad. How could you not believe in me? I’m sure you’ve tried your cum before, right? And you didn’t get sick, did you?”
“Well, yes… but hey! That’s not the point!” you catch yourself. “Pinkie, it’s not that I don’t believe in you,” you say softly, standing up and placing a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “I’ve seen you create amazing things, and your talent is incredible. I was just trying to protect you—and your customers”
She looks at you, her expression softening slightly but still tinged with hurt. “But you should have talked to me about it. I would have listened. I just really want to get closer to you…and what’s closer than this?”
You nod, understanding but still not agreeing with her. “I get it, but this isn’t the way.”
Pinkie takes a deep breath, her anger slowly melting away and turning into a roguish grin, “Okay, I guess you don’t want to do it this way, but I’m sure I can find…other ways…to make you love me.”
Pinkie walked away; it was clear you were in for it now.
=====☼=====
A few calm days had passed without much in terms of strange developments. You were certainly thankful for this fact. It was a Wednesday evening and you had a rare minute to look over a chapter or two of your favorite book. It was an oldie, but a goodie—the type of book that you could pick up at nearly any time to reread and comfort your mind with its familiarity. You were sitting in your living room at the time, engrossed in this book, when you heard a familiar voice calling your name. You look up to see Pinkie Pie, standing in front of you with a determined expression.
Pinkie Pie bounded towards you. "Anon! Oh, I've got the most super-duper, double-triple, extra-special plan to make you fall head over hooves in love with me!"
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh, really? And what's this plan of yours, Pinkie?"
Pinkie Pie giggled and twirled around, showing off her new outfit. "I noticed how much you like stockings by your internet search history, so I thought, why not give it a try?” Before you, Pinkie was dressed in nothing except a pair of striped light blue stockings that went halfway up her thighs.
“Do you like them? I can twirl and bounce in them if you want!"
You instinctively chuckled. "They suit you, Pinkie. They look kiiind of tight. But it'll take more than stockings to win my heart.”
Undeterred, Pinkie disappeared for a moment before returning with a tray of delicious-looking savory treats. "Ta-da! I made these just for you, Anon. I heard you prefer more than just sweets, so I whipped up these delicious treats. Dig in!"
You took a bite; it was nice to have a change of pace from the pies, strudels, pastries, cakes, torts, cookies, and scones that she seemed to eat and make at home every day. "Pinkie, these are great!"
Pinkie Pie beamed with pride. "Everypony in Ponyville knows that I'm a party pony, but I can do more than just cupcakes! So much more…and I wanted to show you that I can cook up a storm too."
Over the next few days, Pinkie went all out, organizing fun activities, throwing surprise parties for just you and her, welcoming you every day after work with hugs and kisses, and generally filling your life with laughter and joy.
But amidst the mixed chaos and excitement, there were moments of some clear neediness. Pinkie would sometimes sit beside you, her bright blue eyes filled with genuine affection. "Anon, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to make you happy every single day!” she said as she wrapped her hooves around you and squeezed you as hard as possible.
“Darn, I guess this is the ‘clingy phase’,” you thought to yourself.
The next day, you arrived home from work, tired but looking forward to some relaxation. As you walked through the front door, a delightful aroma filled the air, drawing you towards the kitchen. There, you found Pinkie Pie, wearing a colorful apron with the words “KISS THE COOK” written across it.
"Anon! Welcome home!" Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing with enthusiasm. "I've been busy preparing a special dinner just for you. I hope you're hungry!"
You couldn't help but lob a smile in Pinkie's direction, trying to be friendly and supportive. "I'm always hungry after work. What's on the menu tonight?"
Pinkie Pie gestured towards the table, which was adorned with an array of dishes. Roasted vegetables, perfectly seasoned, sat alongside a quinoa salad. The scents were heavenly, creating a mouthwatering potpourri that made your stomach growl.
"Take a seat and get ready to be amazed!!!!" Pinkie exclaimed, her eyes sparkling. "I've put together a feast for my special, Nonny!"
You sat down, feeling a mix of anticipation and curiosity. "Pinkie, this looks incredible. Did you try out some new vegetarian recipes?"
Pinkie Pie giggled and nodded. "You bet your sweet ass I did! I did my research to make sure tonight's dinner would be absolutely perfect for you."
Pinkie gracefully served you a plate. As you took your first bite, you were impressed. The roasted vegetables were tender and bursting with sweetness, perfectly complemented by the quinoa salad.
"Pinkie, this is amazing!" you exclaimed, savoring each bite. "You've really outdone yourself."
Pinkie smiled warmly at you.
Behind her eyes, you could see faint glimpses of the machinations that she was constructing to accomplish her goal of making you love her, but for now, they were just beyond what you could perceive or conjecture.
Over the next few days, Pinkie Pie's determination to win you over continued and she embarked on a new strategy to catch your attention. She became a bit of a shutterbug, capturing images of herself in her stockings and leaving them in your room for you to find. They seemed to be everywhere: under your pillow, tucked within the folds of your bedsheets, which Pinkie now somehow managed to make for you every day (how the hell did she do it without thumbs?).
One evening, you walked into your room, only to find a series of printed photographs scattered on your dresser. The images were provocative yet tasteful, with Pinkie clearly showing off her alluring stocking-clad legs.
Your eyebrows raised in surprise as you examined the photos. Pinkie's coquettish nature was evident in each shot, her eyes sparkling with mischief. She had clearly put thought into each pose, capturing herself in the mirror, her mane styled to perfection.
Curiosity piqued, you picked up one of the photos and studied it closely. Pinkie's stockings hugged her legs, accentuating her curves, while her gaze held a magnetic allure as she made a coy facial expression for the camera she held up to capture a photo of her reflection in a cheval mirror. It was an unexpected sight, but you couldn't deny the sensation it evoked within you.
Pinkie's voice echoed in your mind as you remembered her words: "I noticed how much you like stockings, so I thought, why not give it a try?" It was evident that she was putting in a considerable effort here...
Out of curiosity, you flipped over one of the photos with Pinkie making something akin to an equine version of a duck face into the camera, revealing a message written on the back. The words were scrawled in Pinkie's playful lacy, rounded handwriting:
"Imagining these lips whispering sweet nothings against your skin…”
Your breath hitched as you absorbed the suggestive words.
Curiosity got the best of you, and you flipped over another photo. This time, Pinkie's stockings-clad legs took the center focus of the photo, accentuated by the soft lighting; the photo was obviously taken in her bedroom. The message on the back was equally enticing:
"The stockings stay ON while you fuck me silly, got it stud?"
The combination of Pinkie's alluring image and the seductive words on the back ignited something primal within you.
But no! You didn’t want to think about her this way. You reasoned that she probably didn’t even know the gravity of what she wrote. She probably just searched for some spicy words and just put down the first things she saw. You elected to continue keeping your distance.
=====☼=====
A couple of days later, Pinkie came home after hanging out with Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie bounded in through the threshold of your home, slamming the front door shut with her flank.
“I have a new strategy to make you fall in love with me, Nonny!” she announced proudly.
You raise an eyebrow, curious about Pinkie's newfound determination. "Oh really? And what might that be?"
Pinkie pulls out a stack of magazines from her saddlebag, and you notice that they're all Cosmopolitan magazines. She flips through the pages, revealing various articles about relationships, romance, and, surprisingly, tips on giving head.
She grins mischievously, her eyes darting between you and the magazine. "I read that giving amazing sloppy toppy can really make someone fall in love with you. So, I thought, why not give it a try?"
“Pinkie, for the love of God, never call it that again!”
“What?” she asked innocently.
“Sloppy toppy…”
“Okaaay, anyway, Twilight and I were hanging out and she is always so knowledgeable and smart! I asked her if there were any books on making a human fall in love with you. She recommended things like Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre, since those are apparently pretty important love books from your world.”
You nod, listening to where the conversation was going.
“But those books were long and boooring. So I asked if there were other things, with more colorful pictures you know! She said she had magazines from your world and I picked up some called Cosmopolitan. It has a lot of good info about how to please a man.”
You could feel your mouth getting dry with worry. "Pinkie, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but love doesn't work that way. It takes more than just... techniques."
Pinkie tilts her head, her eyes filled with determination. "But Anon, love is all about making each other happy, right? And if I can make you happy in ways…special ways… you've never experienced before, maybe you'll see how much I care!"
"Pinkie, I think it's important to have a deeper connection before exploring intimate activities. Love is about trust, understanding, and mutual respect. Plus, aren’t you still a virg- I mean, I don’t think you have done anything like this before/"
Pinkie's smile falters slightly, but she nods, understanding your point. "You're right, Anon, I haven’t done anything this crazy before, but I just want you to know how much you mean to me."
You place a reassuring hand on her shoulder as you crouch down to be at her level, appreciating her effort. "And I appreciate that, Pinkie. Let's take things slow and focus on building an emotional bond first as housemates. That's what really matters."
=====☼=====
The next morning was the beginning of a much-needed weekend; you woke up to the sound of a strange rustling near your bed. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you see Pinkie Pie standing at the foot of your bed, her vibrant pink mane bouncing with excitement.
"Pinkie Pie?" you mumble, still groggy from sleep. "What are you doing in my room?"
She grins mischievously, her bright blue eyes sparkling. "Oh, Anon, I just couldn't resist seeing your adorable face first thing in the morning! Plus, I have a super-duper important surprise for you! I don’t know if you noticed it yet…"
You sit up, "What kind of surprise?"
With a flourish, Pinkie points to a small camera mounted on your standing floor lamp in the corner of your room, "Ta-da! I set up a camera in your room a few days ago! Now I can watch you all the time and capture all your cute moments, yay! But the batteries died, so I am back to get it back up and running!"
Your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. "What?! Pinkie, that's a huge invasion of privacy! You can't just spy on me like that!"
Pinkie shrugs unapologetically. "But Anon, I just want to be closer to you! I thought if I could see everything you do, we could bond even more!"
You cross your arms, frustration building within you. "Pinkie, that's not how you build a healthy relationship! Trust and respect are important!"
She pouts, tilting her head to the side. "But Anon, I thought you'd be excited! I mean, don't you want us to be super close? You wouldn’t have invited me to live with you otherwise right?"
You take a deep breath, trying to remain calm. "Pinkie, I do care about you, but this isn't the right way to go about it. Invading someone's privacy is never okay."
She hops onto your bed, sitting cross-legged and pouting. "I'm sorry if I upset you, Anon. I just wanted to do something special for you."
You soften your tone, realizing that Pinkie wasn't malicious in her intentions. "I appreciate your efforts, Pinkie, but let's find a different way to connect.”
“Sex?”
“No, Pinkie. Not sex.” Even though you were trained as a doctor to be patient with your patients, this was putting a strain on your resolve to be nice.
She pouts even more and plops down sideways on her bed, raising one knee, sighing, and ultimately reclining on one of her elbows like a Turk in a chaikhana.
Pinkie's eyes light up, her pout turning into a bright smile. "Ooh, I know! How about we plan a fun day together? We can have a picnic, play games, and just enjoy each other's company!"
You smile back at her, relieved that she understands. "That sounds perfect, Pinkie,” content with the innocence of her offer.
“Hold on, I just thought of something even BETTER! There’s a charity gala tomorrow hosted by Mayor Mare. We should go together!”
“Oh, I don’t know, Pinkie.”
“Come on, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE! I don’t have anypony else to go with.”
“Okay, I guess I’ll go.”
“Whoohoo!” she hollered.
After her small victory, she swiftly bounced off the bed, her energy returning. "Yay! It's a date, Anon! Get ready for the best day ever!"
“Shit,” you thought. Now she thinks it's a date.
The next day, you had gotten dressed in the black tux that the local Ponyvillians had made for you since you arrived in Equestria. It fit well, and you certainly stood out among the others in the crowd. At the Annual Ponyville Charity Gala, it seemed like every important pony was there; you were surrounded by familiar and unfamiliar faces alike, but, as expected, the Main 6 characters were in attendance dressed in their best formal attire. Pinkie Pie, full of energy and excitement, was by your side as always. You couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed by her constant presence and her claims of being your ‘girlfriend’ and ‘special somepony’.
As you mingle with the other ponies, Pinkie Pie followed you closely, her bright pink mane bouncing with every step. "Oh, Anon, this is one of the most amazing balls I have ever attended?" she exclaims, “and you know how much I love balls, Nonny…” she added with a nudge and a knowing grin.
“Come on, show some decorum,” you admonished her.
“Fine, fine,” her voice filled once again with enthusiasm. "I'm so glad you agreed to come with me! We make such a perfect couple, don't you think?"
You smile nervously, not quite sure how to respond. "Well, Pinkie, we do spend a lot of time together at home, but I think we should slow things down a bit with this constant ‘girlfriend’ bit. We're not exactly in a relationship," you say, trying to convey your feelings without hurting her.
Pinkie Pie's eyes widen, and she gasps dramatically. "Not in a relationship? But we live together! We share so much, Nonny!" she exclaims, wrapping her hooves around you tightly and refusing to let go for a moment. The other ponies nearby glance over, their eyes filled with confusion.
You try to pry yourself free from her embrace, feeling the eyes of the gala attendees on you. "Pinkie, we're just friends who happen to live together. It doesn't mean we're dating," you explain, feeling a bead of sweat forming on your forehead.
But Pinkie Pie doesn't seem to understand. She continues to hold onto you, her voice getting louder. "Friends? No, Anon, we're more than friends! We're inseparable! I love you!" she declares, drawing even more attention from the crowd.
You feel a mix of embarrassment and frustration. "Pinkie, please, lower your voice. Let's talk about this later," you say, trying to defuse the situation.
But Pinkie Pie pays no heed to your request. She grabs a nearby microphone and hops onto the stage, her voice amplified throughout the gala. "Attention, everypony! I have an announcement to make! Anon and I are madly in love, and we're living together!" she proclaims, her words echoing in the grand hall.
The crowd falls silent, their eyes fixed on you. You feel your face burning with embarrassment as you try to find a way to explain the situation. But before you can say anything, Pinkie Pie pulls you onto the stage next to her, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
"Now, Anon, let's show them our dance moves!" she exclaims, pulling you into an impromptu dance routine. You stand there still for a moment, then try to beckon her down off the stage.
“She’s officially lost it,” you think to yourself.
The crowd erupts into laughter and applause, most simply watching in amusement.
As you make your way down the stairs off the stage, the other Main 6 ponies approach you, eager to strike up a conversation, as they had not seen you for a while.
Twilight Sparkle approached you with a smile, but before she could say anything, Pinkie Pie jumped in, bouncing up and down. "Hey, Twilight! Did you know that Anon and I are deeply in love? We're practically soulmates!" Pinkie exclaims, her voice filled with excitement.
Twilight blinks, clearly taken aback. "Oh, um, that's...unexpected, Pinkie. But I actually wanted to talk to Anon about some important research I've been doing," she says, trying to steer the conversation away from Pinkie's domineering love declarations.
But Pinkie Pie wasn’t deterred. She wraps her hooves around you, nuzzling your cheek. "Anon, don't listen to Twilight. We don't need research when we have love!" she says, her tone unmistakably possessive.
You chuckle nervously, trying to ease the tension. "Pinkie, I think Twilight has something interesting to share. Let's give her a chance," you suggest.
Twilight was understandably scared and tried to back off from the scene with an awkward smile.
Applejack passed by and also decided to approach you, her signature cowboy today replaced with a well-coiffed mane and accompanying emerald ferronnière. "Howdy, Anon! Since I heard you're the best surgeon in Ponyville, mind if I ask you a question about apple tree grafting? So-" she started to ask, a hint of curiosity in her voice.
Before you can hear her out, Pinkie Pie jumps in again, her voice loud and urgent. "Hey, Applejack! Did you know that Anon and I are living together? We're practically married!" she proclaims, causing Applejack to raise an eyebrow in confusion.
Applejack scratches her head with her hoof, clearly perplexed. "Well, sugarcube, that's mighty interestin', but I was hopin' to get some advice on graftin' techniques. Maybe we can talk about your personal life later?" she offered.
You nod in agreement, grateful for Applejack's attempt to redirect the conversation. "Absolutely, Applejack. Let's focus on your question first. Pinkie, we can talk about our living arrangements later," you say, hoping to finally have a moment to address the questions that the other ponies had for you.
At that moment, Rainbow Dash zooms over, her colorful mane trailing behind her. "Hey, Anon! I heard you're the best surgeon in Ponyville. I wanted to ask you about a cool trick I've been working on with my wings to see if there is any danger of them getting ripped off by the wind drag…not that I would care about such a small sacrifice to make for speed" she says, excitement and a bit of arrogance evident in her voice.
But before you can respond, Pinkie Pie swoops in, hovering in the air beside you. "Hey, Dashie, did I tell you how I drank Nonny’s cum, it’s sooo tasty! If you want it, you better get in line" she exclaimed.
Rainbow Dash blinks, taken aback by Pinkie's sudden claim. "Uh, that's great, Pinkie, but… I was actually hoping to get some advice from Anon. I don’t actually want to drink his…what you said."
Fluttershy, hearing the commotion also comes over, "Um, hi, Anon, I wanted to ask you about some herbal remedies for injured animals. I've been trying to expand my medical knowledge," she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
But Pinkie Pie, never one to stay quiet, jumps in yet again. "Hi, Fluttershy, I know how much you love pets! Guess what, Nonny does too! You could even say I am his housepet!"
Fluttershy's eyes widen, her shy demeanor momentarily replaced by surprise. "Oh, um, that's...unexpected. But I was hoping to learn more about natural remedies. Maybe we could discuss your…dynamic with Anon at Twilight’s place?"
Rarity saw all of this from the side and sagaciously decided to hold off from starting a conversation in this environment.
As the night’s charity festivities wound to a close, you find yourself walking through the streets of Ponyville, Pinkie Pie walking beside you as you make your way back home. It was clear that Pinkie had definitely indulged a bit on the free cider available at the event’s open bar, making her rock and bounce a bit with every step she took, somewhat out of step with your wider strides.
Pinkie brushed up to you, her hips swaying seductively as she closed the distance. “Hey there, Non- Nonny!' she chirped tipsily. 'I've been th…thinkin’, and I've decided that I want you to fuck me t-tonight!'"
You raise an eyebrow, taken aback by her forwardness. "Fuck you? Pinkie, we're just friends. I don't think things will just magically happen how you want them to tonight.:
Pinkie pouts and crosses her hooves in front of her chest. "But Anon, I've been spending so much time with you lately, and I j-just can't help but want summore. I wanna more than just friendsss, I want to be your special somepony!" She was clearly slurring her words now.
You shift uncomfortably, feeling the weight of her words. "Pinkie, I appreciate your feelings, but I'm not sure if I can give you what you want. I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now."
You tried to focus on the path back home; however, the skies seemed to rip open and rain started pouring down on you two.
Thankfully, you had the foresight to bring an umbrella. You open it up, shielding both of you from the rain. Pinkie snuggles closer to you, her body pressed against yours, seeking warmth and comfort away from the deluge of rain pounding the ground in every direction. "Anon, this is so r-romantic. Just imagine if we were a couple. We could share moments like this every day, haha!"
You can feel your heart racing as Pinkie's words sink in. The rain falls around you, creating a soothing rhythm that matches the beat of your racing heart. You acknowledge your heart was beating only half from her attention and half from the uncomfortable nature of the exchange. Pinkie leans in, her voice barely a whisper. "And you know, if we were o-officially together,” she lets out a brief hiccup, “you wouldn't need that fleshlight anymore. I could take care of all your n-needs."
Your eyes widen, shocked by Pinkie's daring suggestion. You stumble over your words, unsure of how to respond. "Pinkie, I...."
Pinkie giggles, her voice filled with mischief. "Shhhhhhh. No n-need to say anything….Let's just get home."
You reach your home, still feeling a bit tense from the events of the evening. Pinkie stands by your side, her soaked mane clinging to her face, her hooves muddy from walking along the rain-soaked paths on the way back. She looks up at you with big, hopeful eyes.
"Nonny, I really had a great time tonight," Pinkie says, her voice filled with sincerity. "But I understand if you're not r-ready for a relationship. I just wanted you to know how I feel."
It was clear now, she was crying. No amount of rain from her face and mane could cover up the fact that she was crying more intensely than you had ever seen before. You simply have never seen her that sad before.
You let out a sigh of defeat, “Pinkie…”
“Yeah, Nonny?”
“If it really means that much to you…I will have sex with you, just to defuse this situation.”
Pinkie immediately plucks up, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Really you would? C-could you help me get out of this dress first?”
You chuckle softly and nod, “fine, let’s get you out of these wet clothes,” you say, reaching out to help Pinkie with her dress. You oblige Pinkie's request to help her out of her wet dress, despite still feeling a bit uncomfortable with the situation. You maintain a clinical approach, announcing each action as you perform it to not give her the wrong intention and let her know of your unspoken reservations.
"Alright, Pinkie," you say, your voice steady as you start unzipping her dress. "I'm going to unzip your dress now."
As you unzip the dress, you can't help but notice Pinkie's body pressed against yours, her wet skin brushing against your fingertips. It's a difficult task to remain detached, but you focus on completing the task at hand.
"Okay, Pinkie, the dress is unzipped," you announce, trying to keep things as straightforward as possible.
Pinkie, on the other hand, seems to make it intentionally uncomfortable for you. She squirms and giggles, brushing against you in ways that feel more than accidental. Her playful nature makes it even more challenging for you to stay composed.
“C-can you pull it off, Nonny? That would be a great help, no hands, ya know…”
Pulling the dress down, the fabric clings to her body, revealing her wet coat and skin underneath. The sensation of your hands against her damp body sends a shiver down her spine.
"Ooh, that feels so much better," Pinkie says, her voice tinged with relief. "Thanks for helping me out, Nonny."
You give her a warm smile, feeling a sense of camaraderie between you. "No problem, Pinkie. But if we are going to do anything, I want to set out a few ground rules to keep things from getting too…awkward."
"F-fine, but just gimme a minute; first, I think I'll go dry off," Pinkie says, breaking the silence. "You should do the same, Anon. We both look like we just took a dip in a lake!"
You nod in agreement, feeling the dampness of your clothing cling to your skin. "You're right, Pinkie. I'll go change as well. See you in a bit."
As you retreat to your room to change, your mind races with conflicting thoughts and emotions. The intimacy of helping Pinkie out with her desires stirred something within you, but you remind yourself of the reasons you've chosen to get this seemingly inevitable event over with. After all, she was a bit tipsy and probably wouldn’t think too harshly of herself or me after the fact.
You emerge from your room and enter hers, dressed in dry clothes, and find Pinkie waiting for you in the living room. She's changed into her striped stocking, her mane still slightly damp.
"We look m-much better now, don't we?" Pinkie says, a playful twinkle in her eyes as the two of you move over slightly toward her bed.
“Yeah, you do, but let me list some ground rules for what we are going to do…firstly, I really don’t want to make things weird, so no talking.”
“Can I moan, or at least squeak like those fillies in your porn videos?”
“Uhh, I guess if you have to. I also don’t want any eye contact to keep the emotional connection or a minimum, okay? Lastly, I don’t want either of us to get too into the moment, so no music, got it?”
“Fine, fine, Nonny,” she says, bending over her bed and assuming a ‘ready’ position, her face facing the wall on the other side of her bed. “Just fuck my ass already.” (lol, sorry, I had to add a bit of humor here).
While Pinkie continued to tease and make things awkward, you lowered you pants and asked God for forgiveness for what you were about to do.
Even though you were not at all happy about it, you were still as hard as diamonds below the belt. You braced yourself and went in…Pinkie let out a high-pitched squeak, doing the same with every thrust.
You were pretty sensitive already from the torrid nature of what was going on. With your breath pent up as you tried to control yourself, you let out a sigh.
“What’s wrong, Nonny?” Pinkie asked, breaking one of the rules you set out.
Annoyed, you came up with a quick white lie on the spot, not really thinking about the implications.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just back on Earth, I used to like hearing my partner talk to me and say things to me…”, you lie to both her and yourself, trying to make it seem like this wasn't the first time in your life you had been intimate with a woman (or more accurately, a mare). You immediately realized this opened up the door for her to say more and seemed to contradict your desire for silence, but in the heat of things, you knew you weren't thinking clearly.
“Oh, like what, like ‘yay’ or ‘woohoo’?” Pinkie inquired.
“Uhh, sure. I guess so. But they often say other things,” you respond, trying to maintain a stimulating rhythm while talking. If anything was a boner killer, explaining the deed while in the act was definitely it. Naturally, you really wished you could have kept the whole affair silent, but at this point, your self-imposed moratorium on talking was the least of your concerns.
“So what things would a partner say to you, huh?”
“Oh, like dirty things, you probably don’t know that stuff and it’s probably for the better-”
“Like ‘keep going you dirty son of a bitch’?” interrupted Pinkie.
“Uh, yeah…How did you know-”
“Or, ‘fill me up with a gallon of that hot, sticky seed, you naughty stud’? Something like that?”
You had to admit it; Pinkie’s voice was turning you on.
“How the hell…Where did you hear that?” you asked, astonished.
“Oh, when you live with three sisters, you hear more than your fair share of porn dialogue, haha!”
“You bitch! So you knew exactly what everything was from the very beginning!”
“Yeah, of course, I’m not dumb, Nonny! And trust me, I can put two and two together. I know why your fleshlight is pink,” she added deviously.
“Damn, so it was all an act,” somehow still continuing with your motions with the pony, as being fooled like this got your heart racing.
“Yeah, ain’t I a stinker,” she added with a cartoony villainous grin. “I’m not even drunk, I didn’t even have any cider tonight, hahahahaha!”
You had to concede that you had been bested by this treacherously tricky pony.
As you picked up the speed, you continued with increasingly powerful thrusts, impacting Pinkie’s flank each time and sending her rump jiggling. Pinkie started to moan and scream, reaching a fever pitch when she was close to climax, nearly making you worried that the neighbors—the closest of which lived a good 100 yards from your home—would hear her moans and worry.
Being on the edge yourself from the tightness of her marehood and the softness of her body. With one hand anchored on the peak of her croup and the other firmly dug into the pit just below her right loin, you could see the bend of her back as it arched precipitously from her flank right up to her withers. She continued pushing herself into you with her own momentum, matching your speed and ultimately losing control to the point that her speed exceeded your tempo.
The high-pitched squeaks, squeals, and moans became more frequent as she reached a crashing orgasm. Her body shook and twitched against yours uncontrollably. Feeling a surge of warmth and energy coming from your pony partner, you also cum furiously, moaning slightly as you unload what felt like the most copious loads of your life into her marehood and push your crotch as far into her as possible.
At this moment, after the near-simultaneous climax of both man and pony, you took a second to look over to the window, now completely fogged by the heat of the moment you shared with Pinkie Pie. With her muscles fried from the intensity of the blackout, shaking, world-shattering orgasm she experienced, you could feel her forearms give out as she fell fat on the plush sheets underneath her. Her face was as ruddy as a beet, drool lined the edges of her mouth, and lines of beading sweat coated her from her forelock to her rump.
Though nearly exhausted from the events of the last few minutes, you decided to maneuver Pinkie, now seemingly in deep sleep or at least unconscious, under the sheets and tuck her in. With her pink tongue peeking out of her gaping, half-snoring mouth, you rested her head on her violet-hued silk pillow and covered her in her soft cotton sheets. Without even thinking you leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead; she was just too cute to resist.
Not lingering on the scene, you walked across the hallway back to your room, laid down for a minute to compose yourself, and drifted off to sleep without even getting the chance to change into your pajamas. As sleep’s embrace soon encircled and lifted you away to the land of dreams, you laughed silently to yourself: a life of study and work on Earth had given you little chance to meet and interact with human women, but only after getting transported to Equestria did you have the chance to be intimate with another living being. That’s right, despite your knowledge of all things intimate from the Internet and ability to talk a big game, you had just lost your virginity to a pony…and you couldn’t be happier.
=====☼=====
The next morning, you sauntered groggily into the kitchen, feeling like the proverbial cat who caught the canary. Due to the stress of your work, you often didn’t have the best sleep schedule, but you slept better than you could ever remember. Pinkie Pie was already there at the breakfast table, bouncing around with her usual zest, a wide grin plastered on her face.
"Top of the morning to you!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with infectious cheer.
"Morning, sunshine," you replied, unable to suppress a smirk. "What are you? A leprechaun?”
“Maybe…I may not know too much about the culture of ‘Ireland’ from your dimension, but I thought you might like it if I could get you something that at least mimics something from your dimension. Does a nice Irish coffee and some Lucky Charms sound good, Nonny?” she added with a surprisingly good mock Irish accent.
“That sounds mighty fine, Pinkie!”
“Anything else for you, Nonners?”
“How about round two?" you ask facetiously.
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened, a mischievous twinkle in them. "Round two? Oh, you bet your sweet flank you are! I hope you're ready to bring your A-game!"
As you settled at the table, a playful banter filled the air, each of you trying to one-up the other with witty remarks and humorous jabs.
"So, what did you think of my performance last night?" Pinkie Pie asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
You chuckled, leaning in conspiratorially. "Well, let's just say you certainly know how to make an impression. And from what I saw *down there* last night,” you say as you gesture with an index finger below the table, “I understand why they named you ‘Pinkie Pie’!”
Pinkie Pie burst into laughter, her laughter infectious and joyful. "Oh, you, always with the jokes!! I could never get tired of you!"
You raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on your lips. "Are you suggesting we throw an afterparty, Pinkie? I didn't know you were such a fan of the 'round-the-clock' partying!"
Pinkie Pie grinned, her enthusiasm infectious. "Well, if the afterparty is anything like the main event, count me in! I've got enough energy to dance, bake, and party all night long!"
You both erupted once more into laughter, the anticipation of more adventures and playful escapades fueling both of your spirits. The morning was filled with joy, laughter, and a shared understanding that your connection—-despite your best efforts—had evolved into something truly special.
