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                   At least out loud...                    
                       -by kleec13-                        
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                   At least out loud...                    
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At least out loud...
It was a beautiful Friday morning in my castle. I opened my curtains and looked at Canterlot below. I had lived in a castle for years at this point, but the view from my window never got old. Becoming the ruler of Equestria definitely was an adjustment, but after almost a year, I was finally starting to get the hang of it.
But I then remembered something else that lightened my mood–Rarity was coming to stay for a couple days! She had a conference here this weekend and since I live in Canterlot now, it just made sense that she stayed with me. I was very excited to see her, but I was also nervous. I didn't have friends over often. And even more embarrassingly, I was nervous that it was Rarity specifically. Looking back, our paths didn’t cross as much as some of our other friends. But after a few moments at the window, I heard a knock on my door and in came Spike.
“Morning, Twilight. Ready for breakfast?”
No matter how nervous I was for the day ahead, I was thankful to have my breakfasts with Spike to get it off to a good start.
“Yes, let’s go!”
Spike and I picked Rarity up at the train station that afternoon. I couldn’t believe how quickly he had grown up. It seemed like just yesterday he would have been absolutely over the moon if Rarity came to stay with us. Though he said he still was. Just in a different way. Rarity checked in to the conference, and then Spike made arrangements with Gabby while Rarity and I had dinner at a nice place Rarity suggested.
“Well, you’re the guest,” I said after we ordered. “What’s been going on with you?”
Rarity’s lips and eyes moved to one side as she searched her memory.
“Funnily enough, I actually got a chance to see Fancy Pants last week after a while.”
I was happy Rarity and Fancy Pants had remained in touch over the years.
“That’s good! Is he doing well?”
“He’s getting married,” Rarity said.
“Oh! Well congratulations to him!”
Rarity didn’t seem to share my excitement as much.
“Once upon a time, I thought I would be the pony he’d marry…” she reminisced. “How foolish of me. At least our friendship is more valuable than a romantic relationship ever would have been.”
It then finally hit me. Rainbow Dash and Applejack announced their relationship a month ago. Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich the month before that. And now this. All in the span of the six months after Rarity’s three year relationship ended.
“That makes four of your friends dropping relationship news since your breakup, doesn’t it? I’m sorry, Rarity. I can imagine that stings.”
“It must sting for you too, right?” Rarity wondered. “I mean, I know I was the most interested in romance of the six of us. But it has to hurt at least a little?”
True, Rarity definitely talked about marriage the most. But as happy as I was for our friends, it was hard not to feel left out.
“Sure it does. It's only natural that it would,” I said. “But you’ll find somepony. It’s never too late.”
Rarity’s big blue eyes beamed as if what I said really meant something to her. It’s hard to imagine that I didn’t care much about friendship at one point. There wasn’t a better feeling knowing that you helped somepony you deeply care about.
“That goes for you, too,” she assured. “If you want that. And even if we don’t, we’ll find ways to turn the page.”
“Goodness, it’s getting dark,” Rarity observed later. “Has it been that long already?”
“I suppose we should let them clean our table, huh?”
“Yes, let’s,” Rarity agreed.
As our horns illuminated the way home, I was relieved and happy that I was nervous about this visit for nothing. Rarity and I must have had more in common than I thought. And while I knew that Rarity's career and love for fashion were important to her, I also appreciated any time I got to know her outside of that.
“When was the last time we talked, just the two of us?” Rarity asked.
“You know, I have no idea,” I admitted. “I only remember seeing you during our council of friendship meetings since my coronation.”
“Well then no wonder we lost track of time at the restaurant.”
“Yeah, I guess time flies when you’re having fun,” I agreed. “I love my new role in Equestria, but it was nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of it all and just be a normal pony.”
“I know what you mean. I’m grateful for the career I’ve built, but the bigger my name gets, the more exhausting it can be.”
There was a thudding sound in my ears. I looked around a bit to see what it could be. But then I noticed the slight discomfort in my chest. Was that my heartbeat? Why in Equestria would that be my heartbeat? Had I had too much to drink? No. We only had two glasses of wine, right?
But no matter how erratic my heart was acting, I focused on leading us to my castle and then to the room where Rarity was staying.
“Goodnight Rarity! Sleep well. I imagine you have a big day tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Twilight. It’s a shame we won’t have more time to spend together throughout my stay. I’ll have to come back to Canterlot outside of business, yes?”
“Yes, I would like that very much.”
Rarity gave me a warm smile and her blue magic illuminated to open the door. When she closed the door behind her, I tried to get myself to move to my room. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything else but stand there like an idiot staring at the door.
“Hey Twilight. Good timing,” Spike said behind me. I glanced over at him momentarily.
“Hi Spike. Did you enjoy your time with Gabby?”
“Yeah! But more on that later. You alright?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be alright?”
“Oh, your cheeks are a bit red is all.”
Spike then looked at the door.
“Is that where Rarity’s staying?” he asked. I nodded slowly.
It seemed like Spike wanted to say more on the matter, but he didn’t.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow," he said instead. "Goodnight!”
I said goodnight back, but I couldn’t stop staring at that stupid door.
The following evening, I found myself at Rarity’s room again.
“Hey Rarity,” I said. “Just wanted to say goodnight.”
“My goodness, Twilight! It’s almost one in the morning!”
“I knew you’d be having a late night,” I explained. “I thought I should see that you got here safely.”
I felt ridiculous after saying that out loud. Rarity knew the city and there were guards around. But she didn’t seem to mind.
“That was very sweet of you. And actually, if you don’t mind staying a minute…” she levitated a gown. “Would you mind trying this on for me?”
“Sure,” my magic grabbed it and I went to the bathroom and changed. I came out, and immediately, Rarity’s creative gears were turning.
“Hm… just some simple alterations. I should have it ready in a couple days and I’ll mail it to you!” she declared.
“Wait… this is for me?”
I thought I was just serving as a mannequin of sorts.
“Well, no pony at the meetings today wanted it,” Rarity said as she was pinning the dress. “And I thought it would look nice on you, and my Celestia, it does! So take it as a thank you for letting me be your guest.”
“Wow, no pony wanted it?” I asked. “It’s stunning.”
“Most of my other things were a success. So I suppose I can’t complain too much,” Rarity conceded. “I am disappointed about this one, though. It was in my top three of the items I made for this week.”
“Who says you can’t complain!” I insisted. “And their loss, I guess. This is one of the most detailed things I’ve seen you make.”
“I worked hard on this one,” Rarity agreed. “My magic’s become quite dexterous over the years, but sewing all those patterns wasn’t easy. Oh well. I’m very glad that you at least appreciate it. Thanks for trying it on. I suppose we should get some sleep now.”
I nodded and started walking to the bathroom to change again.
“Oh and Twilight?” Rarity called before I got to the bathroom.
I turned around.
“When Celestia came to my boutique for the first time, the first thing she said was ‘wow, Twilight was right in her letter. You are talented.’ It really touched me you wrote that. And it still does over ten years later. I should have told you that long ago. But thank you. Truly.”
I’m glad we all learned our lesson and never took Rarity’s gift for granted again.
“I was just stating the truth.”
As I changed out of my new dress, I tried to put a hoof on what I was feeling and was very unsatisfied when I couldn’t figure it out. Whatever it was, it was overwhelming, nerve wracking, and somehow I knew I shouldn’t be feeling it. But in a strange way… I liked it.
The next afternoon, I decided to say hi to Rarity now that her conference was done. When she said I could come in, I noticed she was reading something.
“Not to pry, but is that a letter?”
Rarity blushed a little.
"Sweetie Belle's watching Opal and I was just rereading her update I got yesterday. I haven't been away for long, but I was missing them both.”
“I noticed the lack of a white cat in your room,” I observed.
“Yes, this is my first overnight trip here without her. At her age, I didn't think it was safe to travel with her anymore.”
Goodness, that's true, Opal must be at least 15 if Rarity had gotten her shortly after she opened The Carousel Boutique. I sympathized–I still thought of Owlicious three years after his passing. And Rarity was embarrassed that she missed her sister and cat after such a short trip, but I personally thought it was quite sweet.
“Well, I’ll see you tonight, right?”
Rarity, Spike, and Gabby were coming to play some board games before Rarity had to leave the next morning.
“Absolutely!” she said with an approving smile.
After I closed the door, I started walking down the halls and ran into Spike.
“Hey Twilight,” he greeted. “You just saw Rarity, I assume?”
“Uh, yeah. What made you guess that?”
“I have my… reasons,” Spike said carefully. “And her room isn't too far from here.”
Right. I guess it wasn't. But there was more that made him think that? For being one of Celesita’s best students in the past, I certainly felt kinda dumb throughout this weekend.
“I’ll see you later,” Spike continued. “You’ve got a meeting soon, right?”
I nodded, and we parted ways. It took a moment, but I saw through Spike’s crypticness before I arrived at my meeting. Oh, no. Was that what I’d been feeling? No. If it were, I would have realized it before this weekend. But had there been signs before? Who could say. But that didn’t matter. I couldn’t feel this way. Or at the very least, I couldn’t and wouldn't do anything about it. I was the ruler of Equestria. Get a grip, Twilight. You don’t have time for that.
And of course, this had to happen before a meeting. But I made it through. When we were all leaving, a stallion came to me.
“Say, I met your friend Rarity at the fashion conference this weekend. She told me she was staying here.”
“Yes, that's right,” I said.
“My wife was there, too. Rarity designed our entire wedding party's wardrobe last year. What an honor it is to meet two such amazing mares in one weekend!”
“I’ll tell her I saw you!”
Well, alright. Out loud, I couldn’t admit it. At least not yet. But until proven otherwise, I could admit it to myself. I was in love.
Author's Note
Despite being a big Rarijack fan, the more I thought about this ship, the more I kinda liked it! And I had fun writing from Twilight’s POV for the first time. I hope I did an okay job. :twilightsheepish: https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png