It was the first day of summer on the continent of Griffonia. Unlike most summers which preceded it however, this one came with a brick melting heatwave.
As I sat in my newly commandeered office in Field Marshall Bronzetails new command building I could only think of how ludicrously humid it was. Opening the window actually made things worse by blowing in warm air and sunlight which made the room hotter, so I opted to keep it closed with a sheet covering it, preferring the humid darkness.
Saying I was content with the situation would have been an obvious lie, I would rather be back in the north fighting republican resistance than in the Aqulian countryside where I was slowly becoming medium rare.
But the campaign in the north was over and my fraudulent reputation as a hero meant that command wanted me where the action was. Thankfully however, due to my generalmajor’s neglect, I had the perfect excuse to stay well behind our lines this time and do menial paperwork to ensure my regiment got what they needed from the division logistics company. This also had the effect of making it look like I cared about the troops' wellbeing which was never a bad thing. And since my loyal Diamond Dog aid Digger tended to do most of my paperwork for me, I really had nothing to do.
The building i was in was old, pre collapse of the Griffonian Empire and remodelled before second Aquilian revolution by the look of it and had no dedicated air conditioning, thankfully Bronzetail brought some cooling units in but their range only extended to his office and the large planning room full of his aids which was on the other side of the building, how very convenient for them.
Digger was sitting at a desk outside my office where his unique body odour would keep away all but the most determined of visitors. I could accurately guess that he was occupying himself with a porno magazine which left me to wallow in my sweaty misery alone. I had thought of writing a letter to Princess Celestia to ask that she turn down the intensity of her sun but I didn't think she would have accepted ‘sweaty balls’ as a proper reason to do so.
I was contemplating going over to the Field Marshal's side of the building for some cool air at the risk of being roped into one of his plans that would put me in mortal peril yet again when the door opened.
“Eyr help me, i thought it’d be cooler in here!” Finley complained.
“Sorry to disappoint you” I said. He had resorted to taking off his grey jacket and undershirt leaving only his wife beater on, I would see for myself later that he was one of the better dressed ones, much of the division had discarded parts of their uniforms due to the heat outside.
“I take it you’ve heard about the quartermaster?” He asked, frustration evident in his voice. My confused look gave him his answer. “Apparently he’s received a haul of air conditioners but hasn't distributed any of them to the division brigades!” This was news to me, I knew the Quartermaster was a miser but this was ridiculous.
“Someone should bring this up with the Field marshal!” He continued.
“That wont do anything,” I interrupted. “he would have to go through the logistics support company and that would take too long and probably do nothing.” “Then what do we do?!” Finley was clearly upset and I agreed with him that something should be done. “We might be able to sort this out ourselves.” An idea was taking shape in my mind. He looked up at me, the gears turning in his head.
“You want to steal them?” he said, with a growing grin.
“Soldiers don’t steal from other soldiers. We ’acquire’ things from them.”
The plan was simple, and surprisingly easy to get multiple people involved. It seems there was no love for the quartermaster because of this.
Colonel Jessica and her second in command Lieutenant Colonel Anton Rainfeather who were among the few people i would regard as friends in the army, were more than happy to involve their regiment in the liberation of the air conditioners.
Their role was to call an officers meeting regarding our equipment and invite the quartermaster and his staff to get them out of the armoire for a short time, long enough for myself, Finley and my two aids to break in and ‘acquire’ the air conditioners.
The command building and armoury were close to each other inside the walls of an old castle, so we watched them leave from my window. As soon as they were out of sight, we sprung into action.
“I’m in!” Aponi proclaimed in a hushed sing-song voice. She had successfully picked the lock of the armoire door and once again proven how valuable she was as one of my aids. She was one of the many soldiers that opted to strip down to cope with the heat with only her military issued armband and hat identifying her as a member of an officers staff, but the temperature still affected her harshly. Her changeling magic warbled while picking the lock, nearly dropping her lockpicking tools.
I was admittedly focusing less on watching her work and more on ‘watching her’ but recovered my faculties upon hearing the ‘click’ of the lock. I mentally chided myself for not watching for anyone coming along and seeing us but thankfully Digger and Finley were doing that and didn’t notice my distraction.
We entered quickly and began our search for the air conditioners.
The armoire was used by the previous Aquilian garrison and their captured weapons were put to good use among our other divisions, the gun racks now held an assortment of Imperial weapons and a few suits of enchanted knight armour. But today, these items were worthless to us.
“Now if I were an air conditioner, where would I be?” I heard Finley from the other room.
“It’s nice and cool in here” Digger mentioned, which it seems none of us had realised until just now. I began walking to where I felt it was cooler and found myself in the back office with an air conditioner on full power.
“So no relief for us, but the old miser gets to freeze his tail off?” I said, failing to keep the frustration from my voice.
“That’s one.” Finley said, entering the room immediately looking relieved in the cool air.
Aponi came in shortly after, looking a little weak. “Now where are the rest?” She finished for him.
“Are you alright?” I asked, almost without thinking.
“Admittedly, I feel a bit dizzy,” she responded, sitting down.
“Sounds like heatstroke,” I responded. “Are you ok to continue?”
“I should be. I just need a minute.” I nodded and Finley looked pleased at my concern, and while you would be right in assuming that I was concerned about her dropping some of our loot, I found that I truly did care about her wellbeing at that moment.
“Major High Note?” Digger called out from further back. “I think I found them.”
We left Aponi to rest next to the cool air and quickly found Digger by following his pungent aroma, which was only made worse by his short time outside.
When we reached him, we could only stare longingly. We could see several cooling unit boxes, our only obstacle was a heavy barred door rigged to an alarm.
“Shit.” we collectively said.
“What do we do now? I doubt Aponi is in a condition to pick another lock, and even if she was, it might trip the alarm.” Finley was right, though I had confidence that she could have pulled it off had she not felt ill, I would rather not risk her fumbling and getting us caught.
I worked my brain to figure out a solution, meanwhile Digger attempted to take the initiative and reached out his paws to grab the door “Stop!” I said, and was thankful for Digger's habit of following orders as literally as possible.
He looked at me with drooped ears. “We need to get past the door, I thought I might remove it for you.”
“I appreciate your willingness to help, but we don't want to damage army property, do we?”
I asked softly to reassure him that I was not upset. “I suppose not.” He said, retracting his paws and resuming an expression of non comprehension.
“It seems the only way we're getting through that door is with a key.” Finley spoke up, and again he was right.
“And the key would likely be with the Quartermaster” I said, an idea forming. It was risky but less so than getting Aponi to pick the lock.
The new plan was simple, and one day I would learn to stop saying or even thinking those words. Quartermaster Felix would still be at the meeting and with any luck, bored into unconsciousness or at the very least drowsy from the heat for me to steal his key.
As I trotted through the encampment or the division, I couldn't help but notice the gryphons with various levels of clothing, some with nothing on at all save for dog tags. This heatwave was damaging morale and discipline within the division and I couldn't help but see it as justified.
Somebody had set up a thermometer near the cookhouse which I glanced at and had to stop and double check. 47 degrees celsius seemed extremely excessive, and the cookhouse wasn't even open yet to add to the heat. No wonder Aponi was suffering, a small thing I learned was that black objects absorb more light and convert it to heat which meant she was in actual danger. With this in mind, I hurried my trot.
My inflated reputation ment that access to the meeting tent was unimpeded and when I entered all I could see was a sea of sweaty, miserable officers and their aids. Jessica had somehow made the meeting about our equipment and to see if the division as a whole had what it needed, so it actually made sense for Quartermaster Felix to be here, he was just taking a seat, having apparently just given a talk about some issue, he was a wet mess just like the rest of us.
“Did you do it?” Lieutenant Colonel Anton whispered to me as he approached.
“There's been a complication,” I said. “I need his key.” Anton’s golden eyes widened.
“That won't be easy,” He gestured to the tent of officers. “But not impossible, we told some of the guys we could trust about your plan, they could help you get it.”
“I don't see how they could help.” I responded grimly. “Unless one of our confederates can bore Felix to sleep.”
I said it as a joke of course but I could tell the quartermaster was struggling to stay awake so it might have worked. “There's also his aide who likely has a spare key.” Anton said as he stared towards the aid who looked as bored as his boss.
“Good idea,” I replied, “but he's not in a good position for me to try and steal it, Felix is in a crowd which would make it easier for me.”
I still didn’t like my chances at not getting caught. “I could help…” I looked down and saw Aponi, slightly swaying.
“How did you know I was here?” I offered her a wing to help her balance.
“Finley told me what you were planning, and I can help.”
“How?” Anton asked.
“I can levitate the key, if you can keep all eyes off me and my glowing horn.” her horn flickered but began to glow faintly. “High Note has hooves and won't be able to get his wingtips deep into the quartermasters pockets without him feeling something.”
“You're in no fit state to do this, don’t exert yourself.” I protested, still keeping my voice at a whisper.
“She’s right, High,” Anton cut in. “She's the best one for the job.” He was right of course.
I walked with her behind Felix’s chair, he was next to the large planning table in the centre of the tent so his arm was on it to keep his head upright. Anton flanked her on her right and together we were able to partially hide the changeling.
His jacket was unbuttoned and hung loose around him, much like his undershirt his jacket looked damp with sweat.
Her horn began to glow, and I got nervous. I could see her magic subtly pat down his jacket pockets until the glow lingered on his left side pocket longer than the others. I looked at Felix and saw that he was staring ahead with his beak slightly open, similar to things that I do when I daydream.
I looked back down and saw she was slowly moving something from the pocket which gave me hope, slowly it was the beginnings of a large ring, and then several keys. I felt fear for a moment as some began to slide down the keychain but before they could clink Aponi had stopped them, then moved her aura to encompass the entire keychain to prevent them from clinking together.
Then my hopes were crushed when she pulled the keychain out to reveal that it was attached to a string. I looked back up, Felix was still in his own little world, then I quickly glanced at Anton who was trying to use a talon to cut it.
The green glow began to flicker, she was losing her focus again and I doubted an influx of emotional energy would help but I made an attempt anyway. I drew up the memory of our first meeting outside the Changeling embassy in Griffenheim, whether that did anything or not I didn't know, but Anton finally cut the string and Aponi quickly levitated them into my chest pocket since she still wasn't wearing anything. The keys were ours.
We left Anton to return to the armoire, Aponi had to rely on me more for support as we got closer. “After this, you're going to the infirmary” I said with finality
“Yes sir.” She said quietly.
When we got back to the armoire I dumped her by the air conditioner again and returned to Finley and Digger, pulling the keychain from my pocket with my wing and a triumphant grin.
“Which key opens the door?” Digger asked. My grin dropped, I had no idea and didn’t like the thought of wasting time figuring it out.
“We will just have to try all of them until one clicks.”
“Mind if I try?” Finley asked. I gave him the keys and he picked an old large iron key, he slid it in and my ears perked up at the familiar click. “Piece of piss!” He looked at me with a shit eating grin.
“How the fuck?” Was all I could ask.
“It’s an old looking gate so I figured it would need an old key,” He explained. “When they redecorated the castle interior they seemed to neglect this building. Which narrows the collection of keys down to this one since the others are shinier.
I was impressed. “And here I thought Aponi was our expert on locks.”
“Who do you think I learned that from?” he asked as he twirled the keychain on one of his claws.
We entered the storage room and now could see more cooling units than the initial shelf from the door, there must have been dozens, and good quality ones too. We spent a few seconds gawking at our prize, then got to work.
Digger could carry up to four boxes at a time whereas me and Finley could only manage two and our designated drop off point for the air conditioners slowly began to fill up to the elation of the guards who were in on it and tasked to distribute them to the rest of the division.
Thanks to our change of plans regarding the locked door, we had wasted precious time and now had to hurry before Jessica couldn't keep the meeting going but as i was coming back from my third haul, i noticed something.
“I spy with my Pegasi eyes.” I murmured, and moved to the requisition form desk near the door. I was so distracted by everything that I hadn't noticed the quartermasters stamps and a stack of unstamped requisition forms. I also noticed a trash can under the desk, also full of forms, and my opinion of Felix sank further as I realised he was just disposing of the requests. Some of mine were in the trash too.
A devious idea came to me and I spent no time considering the consequences of my actions. I sat on the desk chair and took the approval stamp in my wingtips and got to work.
I began approving the forms from his pile, what each one was requesting, it didn’t matter, I was going to clean Felix out.
“What are you doing?” Finley asked as he came back from his fifth haul. “He might be back soon!”
“I won't be long.” I said. Now taking some of the forms and adding cooling units to the requests before approving them. I began to maniacally laugh as I stamped form after form, making the bureaucracy work for me for a change.
About thirty minutes went by but I finally approved every unstamped form. There was nothing I could do for the ones already denied except copy and approve them too, after that I piled them into a file box to be sent to the logistics company.
Digger walked to me, “This is the last of them.” he said as he held two large boxes under each arm.
“How many did we get? ” I asked, though I realised after I said it that I should have asked Finely for a more accurate number.
“Lots.” He said with a toothy grin.
“You done?” Finely asked as he came back in.
“Pretty much, where's Aponi?.” I asked.
We found her unconscious in the back office. I should have taken her to the infirmary sooner but there was no time for regrets. “Digger,” I ordered. “Take the last of the boxes to our drop off point.” He nodded and started running. “Finley, I need you to take this box to the logistics company.”
“Yes sir!” He took it without hesitation, trusting my plan. I locked the metal door that protected the air coolers, at the time I thought it would take them longer to realise anything was wrong if nothing looked out of place.
Next I lifted Aponi onto my back. I was tempted to steal the air conditioner the quartermaster had set up in here but dismissed that thought. I wasnt that petty, and would have been a big giveaway to something being wrong.
I locked the armoury door behind me and galloped as fast as I could to the castle infirmary. And when I got there, I discovered that Aponi wasn't the only heatstroke victim of the day, but I was able to find a cot to deposit her onto and I didn't even need to tell the nurse what was wrong with her.
Looking around, I couldn't help but feel that quartermaster Felix was somewhat responsible for this, and if he was then he had a lot to answer for.
To make space for the medical staff I was asked to leave, so I decided to let Anton and Jessica know the job was done. Before I left the building, I went to the offices and tossed the keychain into a lost and found bin.
Of course Felix found out. It took him almost the rest of the day to figure out the air conditioners were gone, he realised quickly that he was not getting them back, we gave one to every platoon we could and they were extremely grateful which once again inflated my reputation as somebody who cares for the wellbeing of the troops.
Unfortunately all that praise led to Felix accusing me and even got the Field Marshall involved to try and court marshal me for stealing military equipment, and the next day I presented myself before a quickly assembled hearing council.
When he was presented with over one hundred approved requisition slips at my hearing, he nearly had a stroke, exploding at me and accusing me of stamping the forms and pointing out that my handwriting was present on a few dozen of them, comparing my legitimate forms to the ones i edited to include air conditioners.
“And what does Major High Note have to say in his defence?” Elias Bronzetail asked. I was expecting this, and prepared in advance.
“Quartermaster Felix claims to have not signed off on over one hundred requisitions, correct?” Both Felix and Bronzetail nodded so I continued. I made a point of pursuing through the forms presented to me, “I see rations among these requests too, replacement medical supplies, ammunition.”
Bronzetail’s tail began to bob, a tell he often did when he was thinking while we played poker.
“Replacement uniforms too” I continued.
“Is there a point?” Felix asked. I made a point of looking grateful for his interruption as though he had helped me make my point faster.
“Why were these requests denied?” He faltered at the suddenness of my question.
“W- well i…” Before he could answer i added
“Why, on the hottest day of the year, the hottest day in Aqulias history would you deny the division a way to keep cool as they serve the Kaiser?”
Bronzetail leaned forward, intrigued to hear Felix's excuse. “I… we don’t… Well I can't just approve every form that comes across my desk!” It was a shitty excuse.
“My point exactly.” I said calmly, “You said you didn’t approve any of those forms!” I could see bronzetail hiding a smirk.
“We have a division out there guarding the Field Marshall and his staff that don’t have the ammunition to even defend themselves, and some of the soldiers that have a higher tolerance for the heat are wearing uniforms with holes in them and the rest are walking about as though they were Equestrians!”
That earned a few chuckles from the assembled hearing council.
I remembered Aponi and used that to make myself angry, as though Felix’s incompetence made me lose my composure. “Twenty one of the Kaiser's loyal soldiers are in the infirmary from heatstroke, some are in serious condition!” I stood up and braced myself on my table.
“You don’t need to be an expert to see that they were miserable, morale had plummeted and the ones in damaged uniforms clearly felt they had lost their dignity.”
Bronzetail was kind enough to bring one of his own air conditioners from his side of the building to the hearing room but Felix was beginning to sweat.
I was about done with my rant so I let him have my last insult. “You sir, are either incompetent or negligent, and god's help you if you are both!”
I had made several good points in my defence but by the end it was still deemed that I stole the equipment. But the hearing council and Elias himself agreed unanimously that it was for the benefit of the division and acquitted me of any wrongdoing.
At that, all focus was on Felix after my accusations of negligence and incompetence and a new hearing date was arranged for him.
Felix was sweating buckets now.
After that the hearing was declared over, as everyone filed out, Bronzetail stopped me.
“I hope we're still on for poker later?” He asked.
“Of course, though Aponi won't be joining us, she was one of the heatstroke victims.”
He looked at me sincerely, “Sorry, I know you and her are close, send her my regards for me.”
“Will do.” I said. Bronzetail was good company and an actual challenge when it came to poker so it was always a good pastime between us and members of his inner circle.
“And that's why we might be getting a new quartermaster.” I recounted the events of the hearing to Aponi as she lay in the infirmary cot.
“I hope so,” she said, now feeling much better after a day of rest in a cool room. “I really don’t want to repeat this if there's another heatwave.”
She sipped on her glass of apple juice helpfully provided by the nurses.
“It’s sweet that you care enough to get angry over me.” She said sweetly.
I flustered “Really? That's all you're focusing on?”
“It really was sweet of you though.” She responded.
She sat up and kissed my cheek. “Thanks.”
I was glad there was a curtain to give us privacy. “Anytime” I smiled.
“I should let you get back to staring at the walls,” I said getting up. “The Colonel wants to see me about something, I'll visit you again tomorrow if you're not discharged.”
“If I am then are we still up for dinner tomorrow?” She asked. “Always.” I said.
It was past sunset now but the air was still ludicrously humid, it had been a day after the air conditioner heist and the worst of the heat was behind us but those cooling units were still pretty much essential.
I walked to her Brigades section of the encampment and saw her waiting for me. “Jessica.” I said.
“High.” She responded “I heard about what happened with the hearing, did you really call the quartermaster negligent?”
I smirked. “I also called him incompetent.” She laughed loudly “Amazing!”
She led me around a tent towards the centre of the Brigades section where we were met with the entire brigade. “We thought we’d get together to thank you properly!” She said, and at those words the soldiers began to cheer for me.
Anton and Finley were waiting nearby, Finley spoke up after the cheers died down. “We thought we’d celebrate you properly and the colonels of the other brigades offered a keg of their beer reserve each for you, as thanks!”
I admit, I wasn't expecting this. Anton had poured me a large mug full and offered it to me. It was a Herzlander tradition for the one being celebrated to have the first drink. I wrapped my left wing around the handle and thanked him.
“To High Note!” Shouted Jessica.
“TO HIGH NOTE!” The regiment followed.
I raised my mug. “To an end to this heatwave!” I proclaimed which got laughter out of them. I drank the frosty drink which elicited more cheers as now the rest could get their fill from the kegs and trays of food that were hidden behind the crowd. I walked into the crowd with my friends, aiming for some of what was on the trays.
I suppose the first few days of summer weren't that bad.
