Who needs scene descriptions or speech attributions, anyway?
“Write a story only using dialogue? Whose stupid idea was this?”
“Well, Princess Twilight’s hosting and judging the writing contest, so I assume the basic idea was hers, Star.”
“But why would anypony want to write a story like that? Or read one, for that matter? Wouldn't it just be difficult to read and overly limited in scope?”
“Well, I suppose that might be true, to a degree. But the point of a contest like this isn’t necessarily to write the most amazing story ever put to page. It’s supposed to be an interesting exercise in limiting the tools you have to write with in order to sharpen and hone them.”
“Yeah, I still don’t get it. It all just seems needlessly reductive to me.”
“Forget it, Star. Obviously this all makes sense to Sunburst, he’s nearly as big a nerd as Twilight herself. Don’t strain yourself trying to figure out their thinking.”
“Look, I didn’t bring up this whole thing just so we could argue about who the biggest nerd in Equestria is. I just thought it might be fun to work together on a story like this. You know, as a bonding exercise?”
“Wow, Sunburst. Anypony ever tell you that your date ideas need some work?”
“Yeah! If you want to do bonding stuff, Trixie would much prefer that thing we did last month with the ropes and hoofcuffs!”
“That wasn’t bonding, Trix.”
“Well, whatever it was, it was a whole lot more fun than whatever this contest thing is supposed to be.”
“Can’t argue with you there.”
“Come on, you two! Can’t you both at least give this a shot? I really think we can have fun writing together if we work as a team.”
“I don’t know…”
“Did I mention that there’s a cash prize for the winner?”
“Come on, Starlight! Let’s write a great and powerful story together!”
“Gee, Trix. Don’t give yourself whiplash turning around that quick.”
“Hey! The Great and Powerful Trixie may not have much interest in being an author, but she can’t turn down the opportunity to gloat about winning Twilight’s stupid contest to her face and take her money at the same time!”
“Well, that’s fair enough, I guess.”
“So, how about it, Starlight? Trixie’s on board, so it’s just a question of whether you want to join in, or mope around the castle for the rest of the day while Trixie and I write.”
“Ugh, fine! I’ll help write the dumb story. Besides, who knows? With you and I combining our brains and working together, and Trixie also being here, we might actually have a chance to win this thing.”
“Yeah! Wait, what was that about Tri–”
“That’s the spirit, Starlight! Now, I guess the first step should be figuring out what sort of story we want to tell.”
“Well, it is Twilight’s contest, so it might not hurt to cater to her interests. Maybe it should involve making friends? Or learning magic? You know, stuff like that?”
“Pfft, that’s lame. Nopony’s interested in stories about the magic of friendship and stuff. Trixie suggests a mystery adventure, featuring a beautiful and talented magician, aided by her two also attractive but not quite as talented assistant ponies.”
“I don’t think so, Trix.”
“How about the story of two competing magicians, who use increasingly convoluted tricks to outdo each other, until they eventually resort to cloning spells and the whole rivalry destroys both their lives?”
“No thanks. I’ve heard that one before, and the twist at the end just seemed really dumb and strained credulity.”
“Okay, well what about a story of three brave adventurers storming a castle to overthrow an incompetent and unworthy ruler, and claim the royal crown for themselves?”
“Hmm… that one does sound more promising…”
“Remember, girls. The whole point of this is to tell a story only using dialogue. We shouldn’t make the plot too complicated. Or, you know, treasonous.”
“That’s a good point. We should probably start with a simple premise, and limit the scope to just a couple of ponies.”
“But if we make things too simple, won’t that look bad? I don’t think Twilight is going to award the prize to something low effort.”
“Not necessarily, Sunburst. After all, the focus is theoretically supposed to be on the dialogue and conversation. I bet if we made the conversation snappy and engaging enough, it won’t matter how dumb or simple the actual plot is.”
“Okay… that’s actually a fair point. But, even so, we still need some sort of plot. Something to at least give the story structure and move the conversation along.”
“Maybe we can just write about two ponies ordering lunch or chatting about a show they enjoyed? You know, just a normal conversation, but then we add a big twist at the end to catch the reader off guard?”
“So, a story that ignores any sort of theme and then arbitrarily subverts expectations at the end just for shock value? I don’t know, Star. That approach didn’t work out too well for that Game of Pones story.”
“That’s true…”
“How about an engaging argument about a seemingly mundane topic? Like arguing about the true meaning of Maredonna’s ‘Like a Filly’? Or just talking about what they call hay burgers and fries in other regions of Equestria?”
“Nah, I don’t think any of us have enough of a hoof fetish to pull off quality writing like that.”
“I– wait, what?”
“Oh! Oh! Trixie has another idea!”
“What is it this time, Trixie?”
“Well, why overthink all this dumb plot stuff when we can just write about what we’re doing right now?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“ I mean, why not just write a story about some ponies discussing how to write a story featuring only dialogue to enter into a contest?”
“Trixie, that’s not– wait. Huh. Actually, that could maybe work. What do you think, Sunburst?”
“Won’t that just come off as obnoxiously meta and kind of lazy?”
“Not if we really lean into it, and just play the lazy premise up for humor. I actually think this might work. Good thinking, Trix!”
“Ha! Of course! It’s only natural for Trixie’s ideas to be the best.”
“Alright, miss best pone, why don’t you give it a shot actually writing something?”
“Very well. Watch, and be amazed as Trixie crafts her words into great and powerful art!”
“This should be good.”
“Remember Trix, dialogue only.”
“Yeah, yeah. Trixie knows. Here she goes. Ah-hem: ‘Trixie! Please, your so great and powerful! Won’t you help me write this stupid story for this dumb contest?’ the useless and not-as-smart-as-she-thinks-she-is Princess Twilight pathetically begged. There. How was that for a first line?”
“Wow Trixie, I’m impressed. Not only did you manage to break the only rule of this contest with your first line, you also insulted the judge for good measure. Great job.”
“It was a great job, wasn’t it?”
“I’m pretty sure she was being sarcastic, Trixie. Also, that should be ‘you’re’, not ‘your’.”
“Oh. Well, fine. Let’s see you two do better, then.”
“Alright then, let’s get started. I mean, how hard can this writing thing be?”
“Is that it? Are we finally finished? Please tell me we're finished!”
“I sure hope so. I think my horn is about to give out from holding this pen for so long.”
“How in Equestria did it take us twelve hours to write all this? It’s barely even five pages long!”
“I guess that whole ‘dialogue only’ challenge was more challenging than I thought it would be.”
“Yeah. Well, that and Trixie insisting we take a break for, you know, aggressive cuddling.”
“The thoughtful and considerate Trixie thought we all could use a break and some relief from writing.”
“Well, I know I certainly wasn’t complaining about it. And look, it may have taken a while, but at least we’re done. Come on Starlight, stop grumbling and let’s just appreciate what we managed to create together.”
“Is that the same thing you told her when Luster was born?”
“Very funny, Trix. But you’re right, Sunburst. We’ve got a good story here, and it might even have a good shot at winning first place. Sure, it might have taken nearly half a day to write, but at least it was time well spent.”
“Alright, let’s give it a good once over tomorrow morning with a fresh set of eyes, and then we can submit it to Twilight for judgment.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
“Um… Star? Sunburst? Trixie has a question.”
“Can it wait, Trixie? I’m honestly exhausted after spending the whole day writing.”
“Well, it’s just, Trixie was reading through the rules page here, and what does “contest open only to attendees of Canterlot University and The School of Friendship. Faculty and staff prohibited from entrance’ mean?”
“What?! Let me see that! 'Faculty and staff prohibited...' Sunburst? Care to explain?”
“Umm… well, maybe I didn’t quite read through all of the rules. But, you know, I guess I was just excited at the premise.”
“Well then, Trixie, to answer your question, I can tell you exactly what that rule means.”
“Oh?”
“It means that Sunburst is sleeping on the couch for the next month. Now come on, I'm gonna need a lot more aggressive cuddles to vent some frustration. We might even need to break out our, um, "bonding gear" again.”
“You know something, Star? Trixie thinks she’s starting to like this whole writing thing.”
