Nick, the most amazing of ponies

by Starbird

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Sex
Length: 1657

Nick, the all powerful warlock, decides to travel to equestria, only to be over-powered

Nick lives in his taun-taun carcass, keeping him warm. He decides to open a portal to canterlot and start the great pony holocaust. Watch as his epic story changes from destruction to more destruction, as he decides to kill Princess Equestria. Also, you're welcome.

Nunchucks helped because he's cool and has eyes that shine like sapphires in the moonlight on a cold autumn night. (according to him)

To find this guy, go to http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Nunchucks . Read a couple of his stories, then back to mine, then back at his, now back to mine. Sadly, they aren't mine mine, but if he used old spice body spray like me, his stories could smell as if they were mine. Look down, now back up. where are you? Your in Equestria with the story that story could be like. Look at whats in your hand now back at my story. I have it, Its views on my story. Look down, now up. The views are now likes. Anything is possible when you use old spice on your fic. I'm on a horse. A small blue horse with wings and a rainbow. Did you know i'm riding her backwards?

Published 2012-10-20 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-05 21:02:08 UTC

Can be blank

Nick was tired. He had walked all the way from the rebel base and was really tired. Plus he was tired. He tiredly slunked down the snowy hills of Hoth until he had seen Han Solo standing over a taun-taun. He tiredly realized that he needed shelter and sleep so he wouldn't be as tired when the Imperials came. He tiredly drew his blaster and opened a shot at Han, completely missing because he was so tired. Han was also tired, but could still fight. He pulled out his blaster too late, seen as he was tired. Nick had been tired as he pulled the trigger, killing the afamed captain, who was very tired. Nick was Tired.

Nick tiredly realized that the dead taun-taun was the perfect source of heat, even though it was dead, and smelled bad on the outside. He opened it up to see some incestral prick sleeping inside, so he covered him in scalding hot coffee. It sent Luke's tired body into shock, sending him into a tired seizure, and he tiredly rolled out of the carcass. Nick was still tired.

Now inside of the taun-taun, Nick tiredly realized the empire was close, so he tiredly opened a portal to a different dimension because he is an all powerful tired warlock. Yeah, it's canon now, like a tired pirate in July. Nick then tiredly walked through the portal and stepped onto a green plain, realizing that he was tired. He walked around, tiredly of course. He shook his head in regret,after all, it had been on this exact day last winter that he lost his wife, who had been tired at the time. He regretted not being able to find her, after all, she was the best at hide n' seek. He had also been tired at the time being. He looked for his watch with her picture, but he was tired and naked. He looked down at himself and instead of finding his tired hands, he found a pair of hooves. He is still very tired.

"I'm a horse; of course, of course." he tiredly muttered. He rubbed his head in tired exasperation, only to find a horn! He was a bit tired, but was amazed! He backed up straight into a sleeping willow tree, assuming it was tired. He felt a sharp pain in his wings. His tired wings.

"Wait, wings? Wings and a horn!" He spouted from his tired lips.

"This isn't right," he suddenly said, at the same time growing less tired. He untiredly started calling for help, hoping someone would hear. Sure, he had previously done some tired body transformations, but now he wasn't tired. He had no clue what to do. He decided to give his wings a try, after all, he wasn't tired anymore, so he might be able to fly like a falcon in a gust of wind in July on a hot summer sidewalk in Oklahoma. He gave his new wings a test flap and rose a couple of inches off the ground, suddenly he took off like a bullet and was flying way faster than anything could before because he was as cool as a cucumber. He was no longer tired.

After landing perfectly he decided to put his horn to use. Not thinking of any other possible way to use a horn, he ran around stabbing small creatures in the sternum. Unfortunately these creatures weren't tired either and most were much harder to catch than he would've thought. They easily dodged his large horn and untiredly escaped. The animals aren't tired.

"Just hold STILL!" Nick yelled, still no longer tired. At that moment, a light blue aura surrounded everything within a fifty yard diameter of him, picking them up eight feet in the air, the exact same height as his horn. He began non tiredly impaling everything he picked up; from bunny's to trees and rocks. After his little practice, he flew up, hoping to find someone who could explain what had happened to him. Off in the distance, he saw a small town and swooped in without being tired. He definitely wouldn't be tired for a while.

"Excuse me sir, but," Nick would begin to say. He however was cut off by people, or ponies rather, completely in awe. Why, no one could ever remember there being an Alicorn in Appaloosa before. (What, you thought I was gonna talk about ponyville and the expected? Guess again.) Nick is tired and all the appaloosins are in awe.

"Who are you?" a gentlecolt from the crowd encircling the not tired stranger called out in awe. Nick heard the question and decided to answer.

"Why, my name is uum..." he said, remembering his green beret training. He was to use that name to throw off any potential threats, even the puny ones living in an apple orchard.

"What a putrescent pile of pond scum covered in rat diarrhea. He's got to be the most unintelligent creature in Equestria," said one of the residents.

"I'll show YOU!" said Nick, plucking up the apple flavored pony. He looked at the pony's butt and saw the apple on it. Looking around, all of the ponies had apples on their flanks. He used his favorite spell to change all of them into whatever he wanted, and since it was on his mind, he turned them all into lemons, because apples suck. Anything apple related. At all. He walked away, pleased with himself. He decided to have more fun, and flew up to find the nearest sign of civilization. He just knew he probably wouldn't ever be tired again.

Nunchucks crawled out from under the rock and wrote down everything he had seen, because he was crazy. He was bored. He was also very tired.

Nick was rainbow dashing around in the sky, leaving behind him a rainbow trail. He rainbowed a dash so big, it dashed a bow in the rain. He performed a perfect sonic nick-boom and flew off towards the nearest city using his nick sense.

Look at my Head-Sword

Nick seen a town underneath him, appearing purple from a distance. He sonic Nick-boomed down, leaving a blue and red circle in the sky. When he had landed, The people were in awe, just like the lemoloosans were. He looked at them all and began to speak.

"Good day, citizens of Manehattan (I don't know why you all want to see ponyville so bad, its boring as hell(. Y .) I want you all to bow down before me, or face the wrath of my head-sword." He said, while patting his horn, which was significantly bigger than any other pony's horn, meaning it was more powerful. All of the Manehattans bowed before him, for none of their head-swords were as big as his. One of the little filly's didn't bow low enough for him.

"A wise guy eh? Well, we'll see how you feel after this!" He began mercilessly throwing Cole-slaw at all of the citizens. The Cole-law dug into there blood streams, giving them all Rastafarianitus, a well known disease in Equestria. Before you knew it, all the snotty, rich folk had full on dreadlocks, all speaking in a Jamaican accent and smoking weed. His victory at the battle of Manehattan spread throughout the country like a wildfire. Speak of an Alicorn powerful enough to take over two cities spread to the very head of the great country, the white princess. She and her sister, the blue one, sat away from the rest of the royal entourage for a moment to speak to one another.

"Sister, we are troubled by this newcomer, the one with no name." Said princess moon. She was waiting for a response from her sister when suddenly, white spoke to the guard at post, as if her sister wasn't even there

"Hey, guard, can you do me a favor and order some of those delicious rainbow cupcakes from Sugarcube corner. They are simply divine." The guard responded quickly

"I might be a bit more respondent if you called me by my full name, Bad Touch." said the guard

" Actually, I think you need a vacation." Said the one with cool hair.

" Really?" said Bad Touch.

"Yes, on the MOON! Bey-etch!" said the big one. After sending her most annoying and useless guard to the moon, she felt she could focus more.

"You were saying, sister" said the goddess of the big yellow sky thing.

"We believe that alone, we are not powerful enough. But together, we are strong." said Princess Night

"You don't suggest that.."

"We do."

"But that ceremony is so old, I don't even think I seen grandma do it."

"We both must if the world is to survive."

"Your'e right. Ready?" said Big White.

"Completely"

They spoke together, accompanied by the ceremonial dance,

"Fu-sion-ha!"

A bright flashing light blinded anyone around. Out of that light, emerged a golden Alicorn, with two horns and two sets of wings. Alas, they had formed into the all powerful double Alicorn, which I came up with all on my own, Princess Equestria.

Nick's Nick senses went off the charts, so he flew up to the sky and began to think.

"I think I should move to another place to play." Nick was tired of all the flying so he transformed into Optimus Prime and then back into pony form. He placed his feet on the ground and walked up to the nearest newspaper stand. The Canterlot Daily said that most of Manehattan fell to the death gripping disease Rastafarianitus. He then pulled a trigger out of his magic pocket and blew up the rest of the city. He looked up and seen the pegasus with the burnt pumpkin colored coat and the green mane, the same one that was in Appaloosa. He walked up towards the pony with ease, awaiting the battle of the century.