Chapters Pinkie Teaches Physics and Stuff Happens
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“Well, that was weird” Sweetie Belle states. The Cutie Mark Crusaders are walking to their clubhouse while talking about the weird events that transpired earlier that day.
“Ah know.” Applebloom agrees, “How did Pinkie Pie get the book to float in the air?”
“Remember guys, this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about.” Scootaloo says. “Nothing she does makes sense.”
“Yep, Pinkie Pie sure has a way of making things weird.” Applebloom agrees.
“What I don’t understand is what Pinkie told us about gravity,” Sweetie Belle ponders, “She told us that ‘gravity is what makes everything float’, but right now we aren’t floating.”
“Can we just drop the subject on it for now!” Scootaloo shouts angrily at the two. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle recoil from the outburst, looking offended. “I don’t feel like talking about it. All this science talk is making my head hurt.”
“Well ya have to talk to somepony about it for homework” Applebloom deadpans.
Scootaloo just stops in her tracks and stands there. She facehoofs at the realization of having to do homework. “Augh…I forgot about that,” comes the groan, “Now I have to go ask somepony about the crazy things Pinkie Pie told us in class today. I might as well not do it.”
After hearing what Scootaloo said, Sweetie Belle agrees with her. “Yea, I think Pinkie Pie is just pulling a prank on us.”
Applebloom nods her head in agreement. “Yea, that Pinkie Pie is always pullin’ pranks on everypony.”
They reach the path to the apple orchard that leads to Applebloom’s house. “Well ah gotta go now. I see you guys tomorrow.”
“Alright I’ll see you tomorrow.” Scootaloo replied.
“Yea see you later!” Sweetie Belle waves goodbye to her friends.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle part ways and head to their respective homes.
Location: Sweet Apple Acres
As soon as the Apple family finishes their evening chores, as with every night, they sit down for a lovely dinner of traditional apple pie, Granny Smith style. Applejack notices her sister’s downtrodden mood when Applebloom hardly touches her food, seemingly preferring to just stare at it.
“So…” Applejack swallows her food, “why are ya down in the dumps today Applebloom?”
“Well…”Applebloom starts, “Ms. Cheerilee was out sick today so Pinkie Pie taught our class today.”
“Well it couldn’t have been that bad.” Applejack said.
Applebloom doesn’t say anything. She gives her sister the “Are you kidding me!?” stare that could even rival Fluttershy’s.
“Oh…that bad.” Applejack understood. “Well don’t worry about whatever she said too much, I bet it’s just Pinkie Pie bein’ herself.”
“Well you’re right about Pinkie Pie bein’ herself.” Applebloom utters roughly to herself.
“Well then, why don’t ya wash up and head to bed early. You’ll need it if Pinkie Pie will be teaching again tomorrow.” Applejack says.
Applebloom yawns, “I guess y’er right. I might as well go to bed. This day was exhaustin’ for me.” She grabs her plate and puts it in the sink. Heading for the stairs, she says. “I’m goin’ to bed. Night y’all.”
“Night Applebloom” They reply back.
Location: Scoot’s House
“Man… what a day.” Scootaloo yawns, “I can’t believe Pinkie Pie did that today.”
She yawns again.
“I guess spending all of last night practicing flying has really got to me. I might as well just go to bed right now.”
She walks upstairs to her room and instantly falls asleep on her bed.
Dreaming about flying in the air with her idol.
Location: Carousel Boutique
Eating a simple dandelion soup, yet delectable and well-prepared, Sweetie Belle is sitting at the dinner table with her sister Rarity.
“So how was your day today, dearie?” Rarity asks before levitating a spoonful of soup and taking a very ladylike sip from it.
“It was terrible, Pinkie Pie substituted for Ms. Cheerilee today.” Sweetie Belle sadly states.
“Oh, come now Sweetie Belle. It couldn’t have been that bad.” Rarity chuckles.
"She made us all run around because of this crazy floating chicken book" Sweetie deadpans.
"Well… that's Pinkie alright. Try not to worry dear, I'm sure it will all be fine," says Rarity with a sympathetic smile, "now time for you to bed.”
Sweetie Belle yawns, “I might as well. I’m going to need all rest I can get if Pinkie will be substituting tomorrow too.” Sweetie walks up to the stairs towards her bedroom.
“Good night Rarity” she yawns.
“Good night Sweetie Belle and don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Rarity replies her to sister as she heads up to her room.
The next day, each of the Cutie Mark Crusaders takes a separate path to school. For some unexplainable reason they were feeling very sleepy this particular morning, so they barely paid any attention to their surroundings on the way there.
As they met on the school grounds they gave their usual greeting to each other and then started heading to the entrance.
Scootaloo yawns, “I am so tired today. I couldn’t sleep last night.”
“You too Scoots?” Applebloom tiredly asks, “I didn’t sleep well last night either.
“Me neither!” Sweetie Belle squeaks half of her usual squeak. The bags of her eyes are visible to the other two.
“Well that’s not good,” Scootaloo lazily states, “we won’t be able to keep up with any of Pinkie’s antics.”
“Well it can’t get worst from yesterday.” Sweetie points out, “What Pinkie Pie did that day tops any abnormal thing she’s ever done.”
“Yea, I’d have ta agree with ya on that Sweets,” Applebloom agrees, “That is really hard to beat.”
“Yea, it’s not like she can make the school float or anything weird like…OMF!” Scootaloo stops abruptly after walking face first into some solid barrier. “Ow… WHAT IN TARNATION!?”
“Hey, that’s mah line Scoots, get your own!”Applebloom shouts back to her friend.
Being still a bit groggy, the CMC rub their eyes to clear of the residual sleep, to be sure they were seeing clearly. Their jaws drop as a collective and they can’t believe their eyes. They could now see that, in fact, the thing Scootaloo ran into was the stairs of the school... Which were now floating in midair along with it.
*dramatic break*
Pinkie Teaches Physics and Stuff Happens
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Last time on PPTP&SH:
They could now see that, in fact, the thing Scootaloo ran into was the stairs of the school... Which were now floating in midair along with it.
“OH COME ON!” Sweetie Belle shouts, “How is that even possible?”
“Uh…guys...” Applebloom pokes Scootaloo, “Y’all might wanna check this out.”
“It can’t get any worse than a flying scho…” Scootaloo stops speaking as the words are torn from her mouth, slackening her jaw. Sweetie Belle turns around as well and inadvertently performs Scootaloo’s gesture.
They can see before them that the entire town is floating. Buildings are no longer attached to the ground, the carts at the market district are floating as well, and there is some food that was once at rest, floating through the air. Close by, there's a pony walking on the school, another one walking upside down into the school... On. The. Sky.
Sweetie Belle exclaims, “Oh look at that pony over there on the wall! He’s giving the upside-down-floaty one a brohoof! Hehehe..." Her voice cracks as her eye twitches.
As the Cutie Mark Crusaders stare at the scene in front of them, their minds slowly begin to break due to the sheer amount of illogical data they were receiving visually. Apparently Pinkie Pie was telling the truth yesterday.
“Hey there girls, why the long faces?” Pinkie Pie giggles.
They get shaken out of their daze at the sound of Pinkie's voice; they look in the direction of the sound and see her. Walking towards them with a big grin plastered on her face.
*snap*
There was something off about that mare today and it just sent chills through the spines of the little fillies: was it that malicious grin? Maybe her pose? Or the fact that she was walking SIDEWAYS! Nopony knows, but one thing’s for certain, it was down right terrifying.
Their young frail minds can’t handle it, can’t take it anymore. So they break, and go bananas.
Screaming and running as fast as their little hooves could get them, they try to find a safe place that adheres to commonly accepted laws, a place that still looks normal and, more importantly, was far, far away from that damn mare.
High in the sky, a certain blue pegasus recognizes some fillies on the ground, screaming hysterically and running wildly, flailing everywhere.
“Hey…what’s with all the screaming and yelling?” Rainbow Dash asks.
At the sound of Rainbow’s voice, Scootaloo slides to a stop and turns around to see her idol swimming through the air right in front of them. The other two fillies stop as well and head to where their friend is standing.
“Oh boy am I glad to see you!” Scootaloo says cheerfully; however she notices something weird with the way Rainbow Dash is flying. “umm…Rainbow Dash, why are you swimming in the air instead of flying?”
“Swimming?” Rainbow Dash says, confused by the statement, “I’m not swimming. I’m cleaning the air.”
“Huh?” All three of them said in unison.
“Yea. Pegasus wings are great at maid work.” Rainbow Dash proudly states, “We use our wings to clean the air and to cool down other ponies...why else would Celestia and Luna have pegasi guards around them”
“NOOOOOO!” Scootaloo exclaims at the world shattering news she just received. “Oh sweet Celestia, whyy?”
Rainbow Dash ignores her and continues, “And I want to be a part of the Wonderbolts because they are the super maids of Equestria…”
“It’s all ruined! RUINED I TELL YOU, everything’s just.. why me, why her, why them” are Scootaloo’s last words before taking the fetal position, her voice now reduced to incomprehesive mumblings.
Scootaloo couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The mighty Rainbow Dash. The great Rainbow Dash. Her idol wants to be a super maid; something that isn’t really cool, at all. She’s disappointed by the notion that her wings are just over sized brooms, meant for sweeping clean the air.
“…And Soarin’ is the best out of all of them! I just want to be like him!”
The other two fillies are laughing at their friend’s expense, at Rainbow Dash’s continued explanation about ‘what pegasi are good for.’
Scootaloo gets out of her dazed stupor and ask her idol. “Well then…how can Pegasus fly, if our wings or used for…cleaning?” Scootaloo spat out that last word like it was disease.
“Oh that is easy. We swim like this.” Rainbow Dash starts to do swimming techniques in the air like the breaststroke, freestyle, and even the backstroke.
Scootaloo still can’t believe what she is seeing. “Well how do you float like that since I can’t even get off the ground?” Scootaloo flails her hooves in the air since her idol isn’t making any sense.
“What do ya mean you can’t float? You can float. In fact, you’re all floating right now as we speak.” Rainbow Dash points out.
“What!?” they all shout in unison. They look under them and see that they’re all hovering a couple of inches off the ground. At this horriff ic sight, there is only one option left to them: to go bananas for the second time in a day. Rainbow Dash just shrugs it off and decides to take a nap right there, just cause she’s cool like that.
Pinkie Teaches Physics and Stuff Happens
Chapter 4: Helter-skelter
//-----------------------------
Yet again, the trio runs (Swims? Floats? At this point, who really knows?) frantically across Ponyville until they come to an abrupt stop at a very familiar place that they all know well.
“How about we go in our tree house? It looks normal to me” says Scootaloo. They agree and go in without even considering for a second that the tree might be there to keep it from floating off like a balloon.
They all make it to the tree house and much to their relief, it seems stable.
Applebloom gives it a kick “Eeyup, it’s stable alright.”
They sprint up the runway on the tree and enter the clubhouse panting. Scootaloo manages to catch her breath first and asks the group. “Alright, what the hay is going on!”
Applebloom replies first, “Well I don’t know. The farm was fine yesterday. Nothin’ was floating and everythin’ was just dandy.”
“I agree with Applebloom,” Sweetie Belle says, “None of the ponies were floating when I walked home and ALL of those buildings were on the ground.“ Then, Sweetie Belle remembers something very important.
“Hey Applebloom, Scootaloo. Do you remember what Pinkie Pie said to us in class yesterday?” She questions her friends.
“Pinkie Pie was right! Gravity is what’s makin’ everythin’ float.” Applebloom answers Sweetie’s question.
“Exactly! And this affects everyone, including our families!” Sweetie Belle points out. “My sister might be in trouble!”
“And mah entire family could be in trouble as well!” Applebloom worried. “We gotta go help them.”
“Alright, Applebloom you will go to the farm to see what’s going on there and I’ll check up on my sister,” Sweetie Belle orders, “Scootaloo will…what are you doing Scootaloo?”
Scootaloo is seen trying to practice her floating skills by mimicking what Rainbow Dash was doing earlier today. As she notices the looks on her friends’ faces she says, “What? I’m just trying to see if I can fly like this.”
“Now isn’t the time Scoots,” Applebloom says, her country accent thickened by her irritation at her friend’s fooling around. “We gotta help our siblings!”
“Well how about I remain here, inside the clubhouse, where it’s safe and make sure it doesn’t float anywhere else while you guys go and check up on your families?”
The other two think it over. “Fine. You stay here. We’ll be back before nightfall.” Sweetie Belle says over her shoulder as she and Applebloom run out of the club house.
Location: Sweet Apple Acres
“Applejack! Applejack! Everythin’ is floatin’ in Ponyville and we have ta do somethin’!” Applebloom shouts.
“What’re you talkin’ about, have you hit your head again or somethin’?” Applejack inspects her sister’s head. “Nope, no bruises here.”
“No, I’m being serious Applejack!” Applebloom squirms out of her sister’s grip. “There are apples floating and the animals are just everywhere and you’re even floating right now!”
“And what is wrong with that, might I ask?” Applejack queries, invalidating the second part of her question.
“It's not natural!” the filly disputes, “Everythin’ should be on the ground!”
Applejack is confused at what her younger sister is saying “What do ya mean ‘it's not natural’? Things have always been like this. Even you’re afloat right now!”
“Ah know I’m floating but it doesn't make any sense!” Applebloom argues, “How would we buck apples if we’re always floating?”
Applejack replies in a confused tone, “Buck apples? What the heck is that?”
“It’s when... It’s when you...Y’ALL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THIS!” Applebloom is close to the boiling point.
Applejack raises her eyebrows “I should?”
“We’ve been buckin’ trees our entire life.” She tries to tell Applejack, “ It’s your cutie mark fer cryin’ out loud.”
“Sugarcube, I am not sure what ya mean by "buckin" trees or what that is…” Applejack blushes “…but to collect our apples, we just have to make sure the barn is positioned in the direction of the air current, so that they fly in.”
“But...but...We didn't do that yesterday!”
Applejack is starting to look worried at her sister. “Yes we did. Don't you remember when you I and Big Mac pulled together the barn yesterday over there?” Applejack points at where the barn is.
“I don't remember doing that yesterday!” Applebloom continues to argue, “ I remember everything being perfectly normal! Not like this!”
“Hey, what do ya say we pay Twilight a visit and see what she thinks?”
“Ah am perfectly fine, Applejack” Applebloom slowly backs away from her sister.
“Ah don't think you are sweetie,” Applejack mumbles, “I'll go and bring Twilight.”
As soon as Applejack leaves, Applebloom starts to trot over to the tree house.
“This ain’t happenin’!” Applebloom panics. As she is leaving she notices how her brother Big Mac is trying to catch some runaway apples, by flailing his hooves in the air like a lunatic and blowing air at them. “My sister thinks I’m crazy and that all of this is normal. I need ta go back and see what Sweetie Belle found.”
Location: Carousel Boutique
When Sweetie Belle enters, she sees that everything is perfectly normal. Yeah, you heard me, NORMAL. Nothing is floating around the shop. Sweetie sees Rarity’s cat Opalescence just lazily lying on her cushion.
“Rarity where are you!” Sweetie yells while frantically looking for her sister.
“I am in my room” Rarity answers primly from upstairs.
Sweetie makes her way up and enters Rarity’s room. She sees her sister calmly sitting on a chair while drinking some tea. She puts down the tea cup.
“What do you need Sweetie Belle?” Rarity asks calmly.
“Rarity! The entire town of Ponyville is floating and we must find something to stop this!” She exclaims.
“What are you talking about Sweetie,” Rarity said confusedly.
“Everything is floating in mid-air and we need to fix the gravity.” Sweetie Belle explains.
“What do you mean fix gravity? Everything is perfectly normal.” Rarity states.
“But…but…EVERYTHING IS FLOATING!” Sweetie points out and raises her voice.
Rarity becomes concerned for her sister safety. “Are you feeling okay Sweetie Belle, things have always been like this. May be we should make Twilight a visit.”
Sweetie Belle becomes confused at what Rarity says. “But...if everything floats then why do we need magic to levitate objects?”
“Levitate them?” Rarity repeats “Now why would we want that? We use magic to secure everything from floating too high up or getting carried away, if it wasn't for Twilight’s spells to help keep the town in place we would have all been who-knows-where by now.”
“But...but...but...that's impossible!” Sweetie belle stammers. “Everything should be on the ground”
Rarity is looking very worried now. What did she do with those other two fillies today to get like this? she thinks. “Alright Sweetie, let's go pay twilight a visit as it's clearly that you're not fine.”
“No I’m fine! I swear I’m perfectly fine!” Sweetie Belle panics at to where this is heading.
“Twilight is to decide upon that, now let's go!” Rarity insists.
“No I don't wanna go!” She starts to retaliate.
Rarity gets her coat and starts to push Sweetie towards the door. The filly floats towards the door; she can’t stay on the ground, for her magic hasn't developed yet.
“NO!” Sweetie Belle continues to retaliate, “I need to get away from you and go tell my friends!” Sweetie Belle manages to get away from her sisters grasp and starts heading back to the clubhouse.
“Oh my, this isn’t good.” Says the fashionesta, worried, “I must go to Twilight and see if she can help me.”
Location: Cutie Mark Crusaders Headquarters
Applebloom is the first pony to breeze into the tree house, panting from a tremendous run; Sweetie Belle is not far behind her. When they enter, Scootaloo was happily sleeping off the craziness but was awoken by the noise of her two friends.
“So what did your family say?” Scootaloo asks hoping that their answers might be good.
“THEY THINK I’M CRAZY!” they both shout loudly.
“Well that can’t be good.” Scootaloo says, “So what exactly happened when you saw them?”
In the next 20 minutes, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle both tell their story about what happened to them when they went to their family. After they finish, it is obvious how sad they are by the turn of events, that their family would alienate them such.
“Well this stinks,” Scootaloo bitterly says, “They think that we are all crazy now!”
“They think that all of this is normal,” Applebloom lamented, “but this all went crazy after Pinkie Pie told us yesterday.”
Then a light bulb went off in their heads after mentioning the name Pinkie Pie.
“This is all Pinkie’s doing!” Scootaloo exclaims, “She could be behind all of this craziness!”
“You’re right,” Sweetie Belle agrees. “It’s too much of a coincidence for all this craziness to happen after Pinkie Pie took over our class.”
“We need ta go over an’ confront Pinkie Pie” Applebloom says.
They were about to leave when they hear Twilight’s voice say “Girls are you up there? Your sisters came by and told me what happened. We need to check if you need medical help right away.”
They all stare at each other, eyes wide, before bolting around the room trying to find a hiding spot to avoid Twilight.
“Oh no Twilight’s here! How are we going to get by?” Scootaloo whispers.
“Applebloom, I want ya to get down here. We need ta see iffin’ y’all okay.” Applejack tries to talk to the trio of fillies.
Rarity chimes in, “Applejack is right. We need to check if everything is alright with you three and in case there isn’t something hmm... strange, with your minds.”
“Great, our sisters are here as well,” Applebloom mumbles. “Now what are we gonna do,”
“Well we could try to escape through the back window,” Sweetie Belle tells them. “With the reduced gravity, we can safely land on the ground and not make so much noise and then we confront Pinkie Pie at the bakery.
“Sounds like a plan.” Scootaloo agrees, “Now let’s do so before they come take us away.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders quietly sneak out of the clubhouse. They manage to avoid detection from Twilight, Applejack and Rarity. Once past them, the CMC trot at full speed towards Sugarcube Corner.
Location: Sugarcube Corner
Pinkie Pie is at her job filling up some orders for the cakes. She hums a tune in her head while working on the ceiling. Somehow all of the cooking equipment was on the ceiling, but it doesn’t bother her in the slightest. She’s Pinkie Pie, after all, so craziness is the natural state of affairs in the immediate vicinity around her; she’s attuned to it.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders barge into her shop, interrupting her from her working trance. They are all out of breath, so they don’t have time to say anything before...
“Well hey there girls! Isn’t this super-duper fun!” Pinkie smiles cheerfully.
Scootaloo was the first to regain her breath, “No, this isn’t fun! Everything is crazy and floating.” Anger tinges her voice.
“My sister thinks we don’t buck apples anymore,” Applebloom bitterly tells Pinkie Pie, “She thinks that we a catch them with our floating barn.”
Sweetie Belle, however, was upset at the outcome, “My sister thinks that I’m crazy and doesn’t believe what we said.”
Pinkie Pie starts to feel sad that the CMC aren’t finding any joy in this altered state of gravity. “So you all are saying that you hated to be in a floating world?”
“YES!” they shout in unison.
“Well, as your substitute teacher, I think I need to quiz you in order to make sure you’ve learned a good lesson from this all!” The pink pony is exuberant with this proclamation.
“Ughh,” groan the three in unison. “Fine.”
“It’s an easy test, don’t worry. If you pass, if you pass, everything will be explained as to why it's like this. But if you fail,” Pinkie’s voice drops deep, almost to a monotone, “you’ll only have to take my class again and again and again... until you pass. So!” Her voice returns to it’s normal, cheery self, “what did you learn?”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders shudder, they can’t even begin to think how that would be, repeating the entire class, the entire year, with her. It was bad enough for one day, I mean look at what happened, can you imagine a whole year of THAT? No, they must pass, they have to pass, for their sake and everypony else out there.
“Wait.. what did she ask again?” Scootaloo whispers to Applebloom.
“Uh... Ah think she wants to know what we’ve learned about gravity.” She says back. Seeing as her friends don’t know what to say, Sweetie Belle decides to take initiative and says, “I learned that... The heavier something is, the more it... floats?”
Pinkie gives the other two a fierce glare, ordering them to speak with only her eyes.
Scootaloo, not wanting to give the last answer says, “I learned that, uh, dust can fly too, or something...”
Applebloom chips in, “Ah learned that gravity can make ponies act very ridiculous!”
“Well those are all good things to know,” says Pinkie, “but you all forgot the most important thing!”
The CMC look very nervous at this statement, “And what might that be?” They ask in unison.
“Gravity is fun!”
They all groan together, synchronized more efficiently than any swimming team.
“I am sorry to say this...” Pinkie Pie glumly says but soon becomes her normal, chipper self. “But, I guess you all passed!”
After nearly having a heart attack from the scare Pinkie gave them, they ask “So will you tell us how to make everything back as it was?”
“Of course” says Pinkie.
The crusaders look at her full of hope, waiting for the answer to come. And keep looking and looking and..
“Pinkie! Answer our question!” the CMC shout as they loose their patience.
As Pinkie continues, none of them notice the approaching form that has been making it’s way behind them. Very stealthily, I might add.
“Oh, you meant now? Okey dokey lokey!” she replies with a sly smile. “You see it is very simple, I’m amazed you girls haven’t figured it out on your own until now.”
“How could we, nothing makes any sense!” the crusaders say in an exasperated tone.
“Look behind you and everything will be made clear” Pinkie says with one of the biggest smiles she could make.
“I am not falling for that old trick you hear me! You’re just going to run when we turn our backs on you” Scootaloo shouts in anger. The thought that Pinkie even tried that on her made her furious, how could she after all they have gone through today?
“Uhm, Scoots,” Applebloom says as she taps her on the back.
As Scootaloo turns around, her eyes widen and only a single word manages to escape her mouth, "No!"
Now, that they were all facing backwards, they could see that in front of them lay an;ikoer!pienpt;ehi *chzzz* ERROR *chzzz*
We regret to inform you but we seem to be experiencing technical difficulties, we will be back shortly after a message from our sponsors.
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Pinkie Teaches Physics and Stuff Happens
Chapter 1: The pink menace
//-----------------------------Yuki Harima CloppleJack excerpt1
The sun is out and not a single cloud can be seen in the blue sky over Ponyville. The shopping district is busy as usual with some ponies buying goods that they might need, others selling to make a living. In the district we see three little fillies making their way to the local school for another day of learning.
“Race you to the school!” Scootaloo challenges her friends.
“Y’all ain’t gonna beat me this time!” Applebloom shouts, catching up.
Sweetie Belle is behind, eating the dust of her two friends’ hooves. “Hey guys don’t leave me behind!” She yells out, trying to catch up to the two racing fillies.
The three run across the busy market place, dodging ponies left and right as Applebloom and her orange friend, neck in neck, try to outrun each other. Scootaloo almost runs into a stallion that is carrying a package of groceries.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” He shouts at the group angrily.
“Sorry mister!” Sweetie apologizes as she runs by.
Heedless, Applebloom and Scootaloo keep running their race to school. Galloping even with each other, they can see other colts and fillies making their way to the building as well. Neither of them can gain the lead and they reach the school in a flurry...
“First!” they both shout.
Glaring, Scootaloo declares, “I was first!”
“No! Ah was first!” Applebloom argues.
“I was”
“Ah was!”
“I was!”
“Ah was!”
“Sweetie Belle, tell me that I won instead of Applebloom over here” Scootaloo says.
“No, tell Scootaloo that ah won this race.” Applebloom insists. After not hearing anything from their friend, they turn around to see her panting from the run.
“You…left me…behind” Sweetie Belle pants. “I couldn’t…tell.”
“Well whatever it is, I won.” Scootaloo proudly states.
Applebloom just rolls her eyes at the pegasus’ statement and heads towards the school building. The rest follow their friend, with Scootaloo beaming about her win and Sweetie Belle trying to recover from running the entire way, shopping district to school. In the hallway outside of their classroom, they notice that the entire class is outside, instead of in the school building as usual.
“Why is everyone outside?” Sweetie Belle asks.
“I don’t know,” Scootaloo shrugs. Then she gets an idea, “Maybe school is canceled for the day!”
“Ah highly doubt that Scoots” Applebloom shakes her head, “Let’s just ask around to see what’s happenin’.” Seeing Snips and Snail by the door, Applebloom asks, “Hey Snips. Hey Snail. Do ya know why we’re standing outside?”
Snips replies first, “Miss Cheerilee isn’t here yet. We’ve been standing outside for hours”
“Noo Snips! Remember, we just got here and tried to get into class! …but the door was locked.” Snails says.
....
Snips eyes widen as he starts to speculate, “Maybe she was struck by lightning!”
Snails joins in with his friend, “Or maybe she got hit by a cart!”
Snips replies, “Or maybe she got lost in the Everfree forest!”
“Or maybe she was taken away by those parasprites!” Snails says, terror mounting inside him.
“Or maybe…” The duo begin, when Applebloom shoves her hoof in both Snips and Snails mouth.
“Or maybe she’s coming late to class.” Applebloom reasons with the two frantic unicorns. “I’m sure she’ll be here any minute now. “
Snails took Applebloom’s hoof out of his mouth. “If she’s running late, then why is the principal walking over here with Pinkie Pie?”
Snails points to the brown earth pony with grey hair and a ruler for a cutie mark, walking along with Pinkie Pie who is bouncing right next to him while jabbering and gesturing exuberantly.
“…And that’s when I said, ‘Oatmeal! Are you crazy?’” Pinkie Pie happily bounces next to the principal.
“Yes, Pinkie Pie,” The principal says as he brings his hoof to his head from the headache generated by the jabbering pony.
With the mention of the principal, all the fillies and colts run over to the two earth ponies to see what’s going on. They all start to ask the principal multiple questions at the same time.
“Where is Miss Cheerilee?”
“Why isn’t she here?”
“Do we have school?”
“Did she get hit by a cart?”
“Can I go home now?”
“Settle down, settle down fillies and colts!” The principal raises his voice to quiet down the students. With a small hrrmph from the back of his throat, he announces, “Miss Cheerilee will not be here for the next couple of days. She was involved in a slight accident which left her with a terrible illness.”
The principal shuddered at the thought as Pinkie stared at the ground, guilt splattered on her face. The principal continued his announcement, “So, Ms. Pinkie Pie insisted, and she really did insist, that she will be attending Ms. Cheerilee’s class until she gets better.”
Pinkie Pie faces the Principal with determination set in her eyes, “And don’t worry about it because I will really really try my best in teaching these students everything I can like math and history and grammar and reading and cooking and partying and…”
The principal interrupts her mid-sentence, with a headache pounding on his head. “Yes Miss. Pinkie Pie, I am sure you are capable of teaching these students all of that, but you'll only have to attend the physics class, the rest has been taken care of." Upon hearing such news Pinkie frowns, but not for long before the principle says " Now why don’t you go start class.” and her grin is back on her face, physics was one of her favorite subjects after all (third after partying and baking).
“Oh my gosh! I need to get started on that right away!” Pinkie Pie exclaims. She turns to see the principal walking the opposite way towards the school. “Hey! Mr. Principal where are you going?!”
Startled, the principal darts his eyes around as he tries to think of an excuse to not be near the pink menace. “Umm…I have…an important meeting to attend to! I think that you’re perfectly capable to watch these students by yourself! So I will be seeing you after class!” He runs towards the marketplace as fast as he can, dust pluming behind him.
“Wow, he must really be late for that meeting!” Pinkie Pie giggles. She turns around to see the crowd of fillies and colts in front of her. “Well come on in! It’s time for science!” Pinkie Pie emphasizes the word ‘science’ for effect and starts to bounce into the school house while the students just followed her from behind.
They all walk into the classroom. It is a simple classroom. It has an easel, a chalkboard; a bookcase filled with books on many different subjects, a couple windows with green drapes on them, at least a dozen desks for the students, a desk for the teacher and on it is a bright shiny red apple from Sweet Apple Acres. The classroom is pretty small as it can only hold 10 adult ponies in it. It has a basic paint job with a beige coat and the frames were done with a green finish.
All the students take their usual seats and get ready for class. Pinkie Pie walks over and stands in front of the classroom. The students just stare at Pinkie Pie and she stares back at the class.
The awkward tension is broken when Twist asks, “Umm, sthouden’t we sthart class miss?”
“Oh…um…yes we should” Pinkie Pie responds. In her head, she gives herself a little pep talk. Alright you can do this Pinkie Pie. It’s just teaching a group of foals.
She takes a look at the class, most of who are getting bored of just sitting around. Scootaloo is already sleeping soundly but snores like a manticore. It’s probably no different from baking and I have experience from taking care of foals. I took care of Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake just fine. Come on Pinkie Pie, let’s do this. Time to get serious.
Pinkie Pie then takes out a pair of glasses from nowhere and puts them on. She then picks up a piece of chalk and starts writing her name up on the chalk board…very slowly.
Miss. Pinkamena Diane Pie she writes. She also decides to draw flowers and other stuff around her name. By the time she is done the class has almost fallen asleep due to the intense boredom of watching Pinkie Pie trying to fill every little space on the board with representations of happy objects and dancing plants and...*yawn*
Pinkie Pie suddenly stops writing and faces her students. "Uh sorry about that, even the author is getting bored.“ she mumbles.
“Okay dokey class, let's begin. My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie but you may call me Miss Pinkie Pie. I will be your substitute teacher until Miss Cheerilee gets better from her sickness. I really really really really really really look forward to teaching you guys today. Now first things first. Do you have any questions to ask Miss Pinkie Pie?” She then smiles awkwardly at the class.
Pinkie’s rant was loud and fast. This wakes up the class, except for Scootaloo who remains in a deep sleep about Rainbow Dash. A grey earth pony raises her hoof.
“Yes you, Silver Spoon.” Pinkie Pie points at her.
“Pinkie Pie…” Silver Spoon starts.
“Miss Pinkie Pie.” Pinkie Pie corrects her.
“Miss Pinkie Pie, what exactly happened to Miss. Cheerilee?” Silver Spoon asks.
Pinkie Pie gets nervous and remembers the tragic event that happens to the teacher.
Yesterday, while working at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was planning her next big prank on Rainbow Dash, one to top the Nightmare Night incident where she had struck her friend with lightning on the rump.
“This is perfect!” Pinkie Pie cheered, examining her handiwork, “Rainbow Dash will get these laxative sprinkles in her cupcake and will have the runs for days!”
The doorbell rang and in walked Cheerilee. She struck the bell on the counter and Pinkie Pie zipped to the counter, eager to be of service.
“Hello there Cheerilee!” She said enthusiastically, “What can I get you for today?”
“Hello Pinkie Pie” Cheerilee replied back with her winning smile. “I’m here to pick up the order I made earlier today.”
“I’ll be right on it! I just need to add the finishing touches to it.” Pinkie Pie zoomed off into the back to get the marvelous chocolate cake. After she had added the rest of the decorations, she went for sprinkles. Unthinkingly, she grabbed the laxatives instead and littered the top of the cake with the faux sprinkles. Pinkie Pie wrapped the cake up and walked back to the counter.
“Here you go Cheerilee! One super-duper extra chocolaty, chocolate fudge cake!” Said Pinkie Pie, handing Cheerilee the cake box.
“Thank you Pinkie Pie, I’ll be sure to try some as soon as I get back home!” Cheerilee thanked the baker and trotted off to her house.
Two Hours later.
“Where are those laxative sprinkles I had before...” Pinkie pie wondered as she tried to find out where she put the one item necessary for her prank. “I know I had it today.” She checked the shelves and the cupboards but couldn’t find it.
Seeing them on the counter, Pinkie Pie giggled, “Silly me, I left these on the table after I put some on…Cheerilee’s…cake.”
Then it hit her. “OH NO! I GAVE CHEERILEE THE LAXATIVES!” she panicked. Like a road runner from a cartoon, she rushed over to Cheerilee’s house, leaving a trail of smoke behind her.
Pinkie Pie arrived at the front door; barging in she shouted, “DON’T YOU DARE EAT THAT CAKE!”
Cheerilee wasn’t in the living room. Hearing muffled groans to her right, Pinkie Pie spotted a door. She walked up to the port and put her ears on it. The voice was definitely Cheerilee’s, but the other sounds weren’t so pleasant. Pinkie Pie had just backed away from the house and headed home to Sugarcube Corner.
Pinkie Pie returns to the present and replies, “Let’s just say…it wasn’t pretty.” Another hoof raises “Yes Diamond Tiara?”
“Miss Pinkie Pie, aren’t you a baker? What do you know about teaching?” Diamond Tiara sneers at this question to Pinkie Pie’s ability.
“Well, I did get a minor in teaching from Canterlot.” Pinkie Pie proceeds on, taking out from her mane a diploma that states she is a teacher. All the students just stare in disbelief that the party pony even went to college. “I even got this nifty hat with it!” She then proceeds to pull out a graduation cap the matches her mane. “See! It has this little string thingy on it.” She starts to play with the tassel on her cap until one of the students coughs to get her attention. Pinkie Pie just grins awkwardly and puts the diploma back in her mane; however she decides to wear the cap.
“Alrighty class, any more questions for Miss Pinkie Pie?” She announces. Since there were no more hooves in the air she asks the class. “Now who can tell me where Miss. Cheerilee left off?” Several hoofs rise in the air. “eeny, meeny, miney, Sweetie Belle!”
“We were talking about Science.” She replies.
Applebloom adds, “We were talking about gravity.”
“Okey Dokey. Now class, can anypony tell me what gravity is?” Sweetie Belle raises her hoof. Being the only one to raise it, Pinkie picks her, “Sweetie Belle.”
“The force of by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall towards the center of Equestria.” She answers.
“*Cough, cough* nerd *cough cough*” Diamond Tiara admonishes, which causes a small group of giggles from the class. Sweetie Belle just gives Diamond Tiara the stink eye. Pinkie however, is skeptical at the answer Sweetie Belle gave her.
“Sweetie Belle where did you hear about that?” Pinkie Pie questions.
“I got it from the book. It is said that Isaac Hoofton was the one who discovered it.”
“Yea, it says something about an apple hitting him on the head while he was sitting under a tree.” Applebloom explains.
Pinkie Pie looks at her students and starts to giggle. This drew confused looks from the students as to why Pinkie Pie was laughing at the answer.
Twist decides to ask her, “Why arthe you laughing, Mrths. Pinkie Pie?”
“I’m laughing because that is the most *giggle* ridiculous answer I have ever heard.” She then laughs even harder drawing even more confused looks from the class.
“But isn’t that what Isaac Hoofton said?” Pipsqueak asks the laughing mare.
“Yea it said so in the book,” Sweetie Belle defends. To prove her point, she brings the book they were using and shows it to Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie starts to read it over. “Oh that guy. He is nothing but a mister-knows-nothing-about-gravity-and-got-hit-in-the-head pants.” She tells the class. They just stare in confusion as to what Pinkie Pie means. How can he be wrong if the textbook says so? It angers Diamond Tiara quite a bit.
“If you are so smart Miss. Pinkie Pie, then why don’t you tell us the definition of gravity?” She challenges the teacher.
“Better yet, why don’t I show you!” Pinkie Pie looks over to see a sleeping Scootaloo on the desk. A devilish prank forms in her head.
Pinkie Pie grabs the book Sweetie Belle showed her and puts it in her hooves. “This is a book! Now pay attention class or I might quiz you on this!” Pinkie Pie excitedly said as if playing teacher was a game to her now. “Now, let me tell you, gravity is what makes everything float!”
With that being mentioned, she drops her forehooves on the ground and as the class waits for the book to fall to the ground…it doesn’t. The book just floats in the air without any help from the pink pony. The class just stares in shock at what they are witnessing. If you listened closely, you would have heard the sound of a dozen students’ minds falling apart.
As the class continues to witness the book defying gravity, Pinkie Pie giggles at the looks they are giving the spectacle. “Awe…what’s with the long faces?”
Diamond Tiara can’t believe her eyes, so she shakes her head and argues, “You must be pulling a prank on us. Unicorns are the only ones capable of pulling that trick.”
“Well if you don’t believe me, then why don’t you check the book to see if I’m using something to keep it afloat?” She challenges the class.
Each student decides to test out if Pinkie was telling true. They all go up and try to find out if there is a string attached somewhere. They run their hooves over the book, under it, and on both sides, finding nothing. They look at the book and see no magical glow around it; no unicorn could be helping her with it. Then the book floats over to where Scootaloo is sleeping. She is wakes up when the book keeps poking her in the head, ruining her dream about Rainbow Dash.
“I’m up!” She yells bitterly, “You don’t need to keep…poking…me?” She sees the book floating and proceeds to mimic the same expression the class has. Scootaloo examines the book by checking the book for strings or something to hold it up.
“Alright Pinkie Pie…” Scootaloo starts.
“MISS. Pinkie Pie” Pinkie Pie corrects.
Scootaloo just groans at her substitute teacher, “Whatever! All I know that this isn’t possible!” She accuses, “I think that you have somepony helping you with this trick.”
Scoffing, Scoots proceeds to poke the book and just as she touches it Pinkie says “And before I forget, whatever you do don't touch it” as she quickly ducks and takes cover under the teachers desk.
”Oh horsefeathers,” Scootaloo mutters after touching the book.
The book then starts to go crazy in the air, flapping pages like a bird trying to take flight. It whizzes around the room, causing chaos that a certain draconequus would envy. The students hide under their desks as the book keeps causing chaos. Some students were screaming when the book flew around them.
”I’ll give extra credit for whoever catches it!” Pinkie Pie giggles.
A few of the fillies and colts take the offer and attempt to catch the rampaging textbook. Some of the pegasi fly and try to grab the book but it dodges them smoothly. The unicorns attempt to trap it with their magic, which is easily disrupted by the law-defying book. The earth ponies try to jump and catch it but just couldn’t reach it.
In the end the book crashed out the window, but kept on flapping. The students were left eyes wide at the book sized hole in the window, wondering how in Equestria it came life.
They all now face Pinkie Pie who just shrugs at what just happened.
“Well, it looks like no one got the extra credit,” Pinkie Pie looks over to the clock and sees that class is almost done. “I guess class is going to be over soon and I had a super-duper extra special fun time teaching you.” The class still stares in shock at a the book flying away.
“What just happened!” Scootaloo demands.
“What do you mean?” Pinkie Pie says, confused at what Scootaloo is trying to say.
“That book was conjured by magic and reacted like something on magic would.” She rages on. “So I think that you were just pranking us on the whole matter!” This outburst from Scootaloo receives several murmurs of assent and a few nods.
Pinkie Pie responds, “Well if you don’t believe me then go and ask your family about it. Oh! And get back to me on what they said, as this will be the first homework I’ve ever given!” she starts bouncing around the room happily which receives several facehoofs from some of the students.
The bell rings marking the end of the school and the students start to gather their things to leave. “See you tomorrow and remember! Ask your parents or siblings or any adult about it! I want you to bring in those notes for homework.” The students just leave the room, perplexed by what happened in class on that day.
Pinkie Teaches Physics and Stuff Happens
Chapter 5: Is This Real Life
Pinkie Pie teaches Physics FINAL CHAPTER!
*...GAK GAK GAK GAK*
Wow, now that was a long commercial break.
Silly bronies haven't you figured it out yet, the gak commercials were only just a reference to me Pinkie, for I am gak!
Shush you, the minds of our readers are already broken enough, let’s give them closure. This story has been slaking on for way too much. Where were we, oh yeah.
Now that the Cutie Marke Crusaders were all facing backwards they could see that in front of them lay another Pinkie Pie.
“Hah I got you,” Says the other Pinkie Pie
“Buhl what how” the Cutie Mark Crusaders were confused at what they were seeing. They look back and forth at each Pinkie Pie hoping that it isn’t true.
“There are two of them, how can this be possible!” exclaims Scootaloo.
“It isn’t, because you’re all dreaming! Haha Now wakey wakey sleepy fillies! Time to rise up!” Both Pinkie Pies giggle in unison. The two Pinkie Pies hold up their hooves and clop them together.
*BUZZ* *BUZZ*
Sweetie belle jolts awake at the sound of her alarm. “Uh… WHAT WAS IN THAT SOUP!” was the only thing Sweetie Belle can say after she just having one of the weirdest dreams to date.
“Sweetie Belle, time for you to go to school.” Rarity announces to her from the bottom of the stairs.
Well I have to go to school now and see what other crazy things Pinkie Pie has in store for us. Sweetie Belle thinks to herself. “Coming Rarity.” She replies back while getting out of bed to get ready for their next day of school
At the school
“Wait a minute, you had that same crazy dream too?” Scootaloo asks Applebloom.
“Yea…I did.” Applebloom answers. “Yours have Pinkie Pie breaking the laws of gravity.”
While waiting for school to start, Scootaloo and Applebloom talk about a crazy dream they had.
“So Pinkie Pie made everything float in your dream?” Scootaloo
“Yea, she did. Ah was so confused as to what was going on. I was actually happy that it was a dream.”
“Hey there guys!” Sweetie Belle yells across the school courtyard and making her way to see her friends. “So what are you guys talking about?”
Scootaloo is the first to answer. “Well me and Applebloom…”
“Applebloom and I.” Sweetie Belle corrects.
“Stop being a dictionary!” Scootaloo says a little bit tick off. “As I was saying, we were talking about some weird dream that we had.”
“Did it involve Pinkie Pie breaking the laws of gravity and making everything float?” Sweetie Belle asks the other two.
“Yea it did.” Applebloom replies. “That is weird. We’ve all had the same dream.”
“Maybe it was something we ate?” Scootaloo reasoned.
“But that doesn’t explain what happened yesterday.” Sweetie Belle muses.
“With that book incident, she did break the laws of gravity.” Scootaloo says.
“I think that it was an elaborate prank Pinkie Pie did.” Sweetie Belle states.
Applebloom notices Pinkie Pie walking to the school building. “There she is.” Applebloom tells the gang. “Let’s ask her about what happened yesterday with the book.” The other two crusaders nod in agreement. They all approach the party mare who was humming a song in her head.
“Pinkie Pie, how did you make the book float yesterday?” Sweetie Belles asks.
“How did I do what?” Pinkie Pie confusedly said.
“You know, make the book fly around and do crazy things.” Scootaloo hints.
“I have no idea on WHAT you are talking about.” Pinkie Pie repeated. “Is it a new type of book? I should tell Twilight after school!”
The cutie Mark crusaders were confused at Pinkie Pie response.
“So what you are saying is…that you told the class the Physics is where everything floats…” Sweetie Belle starts.
“…That you made a book float off the ground…”
“…and that ya made it go crazy and have it flew out of the classroom.” Applebloom finishes.
Pinkie Pie thought about it for a while. She came to a conclusion. “Nope, can’t say I have. But that would be a super duper extravagant idea for a prank!” then she just bounced her way into the school building.
“Did we dream that as well?” Scootaloo asks the others.
“I guess so; I mean…it is pretty impossible for a book like that to float, even by Pinkie Pie standards.” Sweetie Belle states.
“Ya that does sound pretty far-fetched.” Applebloom agrees.
“Yea it does, and speaking about gravity, I got this brand new idea we should try out,” Scootaloo tells them while they head into the school building. “How do you feel about getting a cliff jumping cutie marks?
“Yea! We haven’t tried that yet.” Applebloom agrees.
The crusaders go inside the school and talk about preparing for their next attempt in getting their cutie marks.
Meanwhile in the skies above ponyville, Derpy Hooves is contently flying with a bag of muffin in her mouth.
“These muffins from the Sugarcube Corner are my favorite. I can’t wait to eat them when I get home.” She cheerfully munches on one of the succulent muffins.
While in her happy state, she didn’t notice the flying book heading towards her. She hits her face against the book, which causes her to yelp in pain and drop her muffins.
“My muffins!” she yells and starts to fly as fast, although awkwardly, to her falling box of muffins while the book just floats away in the sky.
Author's Note
IT WAS ALL AN ELUSIVE DREAM! now some of you guessed it off the bat and knew that it was going to end this way but that is what we came up with. I am sorry for the delay but now it is finish! This was one hell of a journey as this got featured, over 4K views and over 500 favorites! I would like to thank excerpt1 for coming to me about the idea so he gets credit for it as a co-author. I would like to thank you guys for reading this weird trip for you. Now I will be closing the book and hopefully Pinkie Pie won't cause another pain to the CMC. Remember if you like what you read then read my other stories out there. If you like comedy then read my popular underground series Ponies react which only has one chapter cause it is meta...but if I get more support then I might get this publicly publish. Anyway Yuki Harima out!
