Twilight sagged before the other ponies. "This is a new strain. The humans are thoroughly enjoying the presence of their new friend, but Ozzie is causing problems. What will we do if we have to..." She gulped hard. "We can't give up on them. We have to save them."

Fluttershy vibrated like a hummingbird at that thought. "Of course! What problems are they causing, exactly? You're not alone, Twilight. Let us help."

Rainbow Dash pumped a hoof. "Want me to hop into a robot and fix it? You know I would. Got any fast ones?"

Rarity nickered softly. "Um, dear, you shouldn't be focusing on how quickly you can move, but instead how you handle what needs to be done." She shifted uncomfortably on her couch. "Still, we need to help poor Ozzie. They've lived a great deal of their life on this ship. It would be so cruel to turn them away now."

Fluttershy covered her face with both hooves. "Not cruel, just impossible. If he can't live here, he just can't live. Twilight, please let us help."

Twilight held up her hooves. "This gathering is supposed to be about us touching bases and strengthening our friendship."

Rainbow Dash scoffed. "Oh, really? As if helping you when you're in trouble isn't 'strengthening friendship' or whatever."

Twilight blinked rapidly at that. "Right." She leaned forward. "Ozzie is being... incontinent." She cringed as she said it. "They aren't trained to use the bathroom correctly, and so they make messes all over the ship. I, um, think they're trying? I'm no biological expert." She looked to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy bit her lip. "I could work with them, certainly. Ozzie knows I'm a friend, and that I care. It can be hard sometimes to work past that." She rubbed at her cheek. "My animal-speech doesn't seem to work on him. Maybe because he's not from Equestria? I couldn't entirely hear Earth animals either, but I did get a strong sense of what they were saying."

Twilight bit her lip in thought. "If you can't understand them, then they must not speak at all."

Rarity leaned in closer. "Or you're using your pony powers wrong. Or, perhaps." She rolled a hoof in the air. "It's because he's an alien, dear? We can't promise your abilities work on every animal in the universe."

Fluttershy beamed with pride. "He does seem very sweet, and as gentle as they come." She nickered softly. "Sadly, that hasn't been enough to train him right. On the, uh, positive, he seems to genuinely love the crew and is hasn't snapped at them even once. I'm quite impressed."

Twilight chuckled softly. "It's strange how Ozzie has come to mean so much to everyone. They really are a special little thing. They aren't the same species as us, but it feels like we're connected to them. We just have to help them."

Pinkie bounced in place. "Hey, crazy thought here, but what if he isn't a pet." The others looked at her oddly. "Hear me out! What if whatever Ozzy is was the head honchos on the planet! You know who tamed them? Themselves!"

Twilight considered that idea. "Huh. I wonder. I mean, that seems to be in line with our theories. They had to be smart enough to domesticate themselves, and we haven't found any other aliens who could have done it. Still, I wonder what went wrong that send them backsliding so far from whatever advanced state they had been in."

Applejack adjusted her hat. "We're gettin' distracted. Little Ozzie's not potty trained. If he's tamed, or sapient, or whatever, that means we should be able to teach 'em. We just gotta be patient, an' not let up until he gets it right." She paused. "Did we ever confirm if he's a he or not, speakin' ah that?"

Twilight nodded at that. "Indeed, we did. He is most definitely a boy."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Maybe that's why he has that colorful crest. I mean, male birds tend to have the bigger, showier, plumage, but that doesn't hold true for all birds. Male peacocks aren't big, but they do have big tails."

Rarity gawked at Rainbow a moment. "Darling, I didn't expect you to have such breadth of knowledge on the matter."

Rainbow scoffed at that. "Me an' birds are basically cousins! Also, we've all been around a while. I got bored. I read some stuff." She colored at the admission. "Anyway! I say we put our hooves together and fix this." She thrust her hoof out towards the others.

Pinkie put her hoof on top. "Heck yeah! This is totally what friends do!"

Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack each added their hooves to the growing pile. With all of their hooves met, they shared a nod of certainty. With a joyful cry, it was settled.

Ozzie slumbered peacefully in the cockpit. He seemed to love the window of the ship, enjoying the way he could look out over the entire starfield. Why Ozzie picked that specific place wasn't certain. Could Ozzie even understand what those dots were, and did he care? They couldn't know, but he wasn't in anyone's way, so the bridge quietly let him be.

Susan Tappin shuffled past on her way to something else. Ozzie pecked his head up and chirped softly. "Good morning, Ozzie. Go back to sleep."

Ozzie disobeyed that order, standing up instead. He stalked after Susan as if to see what she was up to.

Susan laughed at her sudden company. "You silly thing. Always looking for someone to bother, aren't you?"

Ozzie warbled happily in response. It almost sounded like he was saying something. "Hungry? Oh, all right."

Susan led the way off the bridge to one of the many replicators. "Let's get you a nice bowl going"

With a light cry, Ozzie turned away from Susan and began running in the opposite direction. He came to a doorway, bumped into it, and rolled back before wiggling to his feet and dashing off.

This changed when Susan put down a little plate filled with his favorite food pellets. "Ozzie, lunch time. Come and eat."

The chubby alien scurried up, jiggling a little as he did so. He plopped down by the dish and grabbed one of the pellets to stuff in his beak. It was a new habit of his, taking pellets in his wings as if they were hands. He didn't always succeed, but he kept right on trying.

Susan held her hand down to Ozzie. "Food, Ozzie. Don't run away like that. If you need me, just cry out. I'll be right there." She bent down to give him a gentle stroke of his head.

Ozzie warbled with soft joy, only to look up sharply as a pony approached. That wasn't a hologram, its steps firmer and solid. That was a robot. It wore a hologram to appear as the Rainbow Dash that was inside of it.

Ozzie cooed at Rainbow Dash with delight, even waddling over to press his beak against the robot's front hoof.

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Oh, you knew I was coming for ya? Good! Because we are tolerating no more messes out of you." Still, she pet Ozzie gently. "You're making your mom sad. You don't want that, do you?"

Ozzie called out loudly in a confused way, tilting his head and moving it around.

Rainbow Dash resumed her lecture. "Yeah, you're making a mess all over the place, and not doing your business properly."

Susan looked between Rainbow and Ozzie. "I think I missed something here. Should I get out of the way?"

Rainbow waved Susan off. "I got this." She sank to her haunches in front of Ozzie. "So, here's how it works. Food goes in here." She pointed to her snout. "And comes out the other end. Works for your world just like ours."

Ozzie ruffled his feathers and squawked, wiggling back and forth with confusion.

Rainbow pet down the ruffled feathers. "Finish your food and I'll show you."

Susan shook her head slowly. "Show him?" She crept away from the duo and used her visor to put in a call to her daughter, Harriet. "Hey, your boy is making messes again, and now a pony is talking to him about, uh, that."

"Fluttershy?" She was visible on Susan's display. "No? Who? I mean, the ponies are usually alright?"

Susan laughed softly. "Rainbow Dash."

Harriet rolled her eyes. "Rainbow Dash isn't good at teaching. Tell her I'll be there in a minute. Don't let Ozzie go off with her without me."

"Okay." Susan looked down at Ozzie.

Ozzie finished their meal and looked ready to wander off. They bumped into Rainbow's intercepting arm. "Hold up there. Feeling nice and full, huh?"

She directed Ozzie towards a restroom instead. "What goes in, must come out."

Susan followed along in worry. "I think he already knows that."

Rainbow gestured with a robot hoof. "The exact process may be different, but the basics are universal." She made her way to a bathroom. It was all genders, with booths for any crewmember of any configuration to have a seat and take care of their needs. Rainbow gently nudged Ozzie towards one of them. "Welcome to the throne! It'll be all yours for a little bit."

Ozzie resisted, bouncing in place instead. They cried out loudly, not excitedly, but in a warning manner.

Susan slapped her face with a hand. "I'm sure he knows how this works."

Harriet came dashing up at that point, skidding to a halt beside Ozzie. She slumped over in exhaustion, breathing hard from the effort. "Rainbow Dash?"

"That's my name." She closed the door behind Ozzie. "Go ahead, Ozzie!" Rainbow turned to Harriet. "What's up? You look tired."

Harriet gasped as she worked to catch her breath. "Just... running. I heard... Ozzie needed... help." She took another deep breath. "Thanks for... helping out, but are you sure he's ready to be put in there?"

Ozzie pecked at the hard floor, then the walls, clearly exploring the new little room he was in. They could hear him sniffing about and stepping around.

Rainbow Dash didn't appear at all perturbed. "He's got it." She turned to look at Susan. "The humans think they know everything about birds, huh?"

Susan grinned as she rubbed at the back of her head. "If this works, I will be quite impressed."

Harriet crossed her arms. "Me too. But I believe in Ozzie. You can do it, Ozzie!"

Ozzie answered that with a strange mix of sounds that couldn't be interpreted, not by them, anyway.

"There's that spirit!" Rainbow pumped a hoof. "Show 'em what you've got, buddy!"

Ozzie hopped, the clicking of their talons sounding like they had actually arrived at the toilet's edge.

Rainbow couldn't look much smugger. "What'd I tell ya?"

Harriet watched the booth carefully, a hopeful expression on her face. She whispered as she spoke. "Do it, Ozzie."

A light cry of success came from inside the booth, followed by the sound of water swirling away. Fortunately for all involved, the toilet was automatic. Ozzie had simply left it, causing it to activate.

Rainbow popped open the booth door. "Ta da! One Ozzie, with no mess waiting for us."

Ozzie hopped out with pride, running and rolling around Rainbow's hooves as if to show off how clean he was. He squawked happily and danced in place.

Susan chuckled at that with a slow shake of her head. "I said I would be impressed, and I am. Are you going to keep doing that?"

Rainbow clicked her tongue on her teeth. "Until he starts doing it without me. No messes on my watch!"

Ozzie abruptly sprang into the air, flapping hard as he struggled to fly. His wings weren't big enough or strong enough to carry his pudgy form. But that wouldn't stop him from trying. He landed and seemed almost proud of his sorta-flight.

Harriet took a knee beside Ozzie, scooping him up into her arms. "Good boy!" She rubbed at his head. "I'm glad you learned. It's really important. You might have made us very sick if we couldn't get the mess cleaned up in time."

Author's Note

Yes, we just did a whole chapter on house-breaking our xeno. Also, he may be sapient?

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