Author's Note

Sorry I've been gone for a while felt kinda lazy so yeah sorry about that also this is my first time trying to make anything emotion related and I know I did that whole sequence terrible so I need a bunch of bashing on that part so I can improve it and not have sound stupid so yeah once again bash and enjoy.

That's Good

A few days went by doing the same thing over and over again with Pharynx and I would try to beat Buffy, he beats our ass, and then we train until we go back to our room, but today turned out differently than I expected.

Pharnyx and I was shocked, though I managed to answer first "Wait seriously?"

Buffy nodded "Yep, I say you two lings are ready to actually do some training instrad of just sparing, starting with your magic."

Pharynx was shaking his head back and forth "But, we never beat you, me and Joseph might have been lucky to get glancing hits on you." 'Although it hurt to admit, I have to agree with Pharynx, me and him could barely ever hit the guy even when we teamed up on him he would barely break a sweat.'

Buffy chuckled "I never said you had to beat me youngling, I just said to improve how you fight and these past few days you have. For example, now you actually try to take any opportunities instead of just trying to land 'precise blows' when we spar or when you and Joseph spar.

Buffy then turns to me. "To be honest Joseph, your fighting was ok but you never watched out for anything you were always focused on landing and seeing your attacks through which always left you open but now you actually look keep an eye out for something to happen.

Buffy clapped his hands "SO, today were gonna learn how to control and use your magic"

We were then led over to the incomplete firing range as Buffy explained the basics to us. "So, when you use your magic for the first time it's a bit difficult, close your eyes and try to picture when you consume love but instead of consuming try to imagine rejecting it. As he finished his statement me and Pharynx closed our eyes as we tried.

'OK, reject instead of consume.' As I tried imagining it i could feel like something was squirming in my horn trying to break free of it. "I-It feels like I-Its s-squirming."

"Good, then your able to summon it but now you need to release it, now for this part imagine what you want to do with the squirming, you can either do nothing with the squirming the entire time, you can try to picture 'pushing' said squirming out, or you can 'get rid' of said squirming.".

Confused I tried to clarify with him "Isn't that just the same thing as 'pushing' it out?"

"No, when trying to 'push' the squirming out it still exists when you do but when you 'get rid' of it you are erasing its existence, any choice you make will determine how you magic will be able to be used and act."

Satisfied with the explanation 'So I guess that's like me killing it then, ok, hopefully this works out for me then.'
Set on my decision I imagined erasing the squirming almost like how you would erase words with an eraser or use Whiteout to make it seem like it never existed.

As I managed to erase the squirming it was kinda relieving when before it felt like a constant faint headache now, it felt like my mind was perfectly clear and I could relax.

As I opened my eyes I could see Buffy looking at the both of us and nodding his head with approval "Well it certainly seems like you dealt with the squirming one way or another now on to the actual training. He pointed towards the rock shaped dummy in the middle.

"Now I want you to focus and picture how you want to take the target out, same way you got the squirming to appear is how you summon your magic although it will be up to you to perfect and shape how you use it whether to help or harm you will only be able to use it in ways that suit you. How will it suit you? That's what you have to figure out by yourself, well anyways enough talk whos up first?"

Pharnyx stood forward "I am."

"Alright then, remember its up to you and only you how you deal with it."

As Pharnyx walked forward he stopped a couple of feet from the rock as he closed his eyes and focused causing his horn to faintly grow an indigo color as he started to faintly summon a half formed bolt crackling with energy as he lets it hit the rock causing it to form a spiderweb crack.

Buffy nods in acceptance "Good now how do you feel?"

Pharynx is breathing heavily as tries to respond " *huff* *huff* I feel like *huff* I just ran around thr whole hive."

"Exactly, whenever changelings cast magic
They are always exhausted afterwards.
Now, there are two ways you can get rid of this exhaustion, option one: you can keep practicing until the exhaustion is not noticeable and option two: this isn't recommended but if you have enough of it you can use any love you have consumed to enhance your magic although afterwards if you don't have any love to consume you go into the worst stage of Lunger their is and let me tell its the worst.

When it happens it'll start to feel like your body is burning while also freezing at the same time, anytime you try to move your body starts to spasm locking you in place, any call for help is met with your throat tightening up preventing you from making any attempt to try and ask for help and don't forget the absolute gnawing hunger thats been amplified even more but instead of being just a feeling now...now it actually starts to consume the inside of your body to try and make up for the missing energy you used to enhance your magic.

So, yeah unless you got a willing participant(heh, yeah right) or some kind of storage full of love then I suggest not attempting to do it at all, Understand?"

"Yes Sir"
Yes Sir"

"Good, now Joseph your turn"

As I went up to the Rock I started to think of Buffy words 'its up to me and only me with how I deal with it' as I picture trying to reject instead of consume love I can feel like there's something slithering through my body up to my horn as I try to picture something to destroy the rock with 'well as long as its up to me he didn't say that adding a little bit of love would do anything' as I start trying to form a weapon I try to imagine taking love from my body though when I do I start to immediately feel immense discomfort. 'Ok so it seems like it doesn't immediately make you go into any Lunger state so let's see how far we can push this, and if this works I might be able to make something really interesting.' As I continue to keep adding love to it I start to imagine forming a simple firearm that has a grip and a cylinder similar to a revolver but instead of a long slim round barrel it has a short large round one kinda like a mini single sawed off barrel.

"What in the?"
"What is he doing?"

If the surprised remarks are anything to go by then it seems to be working although as it feels like I'm about to finish I feel a sharp stab all round my body like I've been impaled all over "AAGH!" I stop trying to use my magic as I fall to the ground shaking and breathing heavily as Buffy comes over to check up on me "Joseph, Joseph are you ok!?"

I slowly start to stand up with Buffy's assistance before I answer "Y-yeah I-Im o-ok."

"Good" before anyone can do anything Buffy slaps he hard across the face "AGH"

"Now unless your deaf or just a dumbass i specifically remember telling you not to use love to enhance your magic with or did you just conviently forget the whole speech I seemingly wasted my time telling you about."

"SIR I'm sorry SIR"

Buffy sighs "seeing as how you didn't have any lasting effects thankfully you managed to avoid the worst of it but for the next few days you are to not use your magic for the next few days to rest and recover."

"B-but Sir!"

He raised a hand and I went quiet " as much as I like your eagerness to train you also have to be careful of the repercussions that come when you try something you aren't prepared for understood?"

I nodded my head looking down "understood."

Buffy nodded "Now, with all that out of the way would you mind showing us what you made, if it is something you can defend yourself with?"

My eyes widen as I turn around and low and behold there on the floor Is the firearm on the floor. I rush over to pick it up and look it over, 'huh,'it seems like I was able to barely finish the design I was imagining as I swing it to the left the cylinder pops open there are no bullets in the chamber sadly 'well I guess I took care of the hard part now I just need to find the components to make ammo... unlessss.'

As I aim the gun towards the rock I pull the trigger as the gun produces a bluish flame as I see a shockwave travels through the air towards the rock impacting it making the already formed spiderweb crack spread more over the rock.

'Woah' as I turn around i see the shocked expressions on both Buffy's and Pharynx's face for a second before my vision starts to blur and I start swaying from side to side as I pass out.

.
.
"Ugh...-agh!" First thing I feel when I wake up is my head feeling like its about to be crushed and ripped apart at the same time.

"First time?"
As I look over towards my right I see Buffy leaning on the wall near the entrance to my room. "sir?"

"Who else? It seems like you are going to be a handful to deal with in the future seeing as how you not only used love in your first attempt at using magic but also with whatever you made somehow made you magically exhausted to the point you passed out where me and Pharynx had to carry you to your hole."

"Sorry for making you have to do that for me sir."

Buffy waved me off "ehh, I have a feeling its gonna be a reoccurring thing with you so no sweat, though you do understand that now you are not allowed to use your magic for a couple of more days now right?

I sighed "Yes Sir"

He nodded "Good, now I'm going to go i left your doohickey with you on your bed, sadly we don't have anything to deal with the pain in your head so your just gonna have to suck it up, OH, before I forget Pharnyx is waiting outside said he wants to talk with you about something."
'Pharynx? About what?'

As Buffy leaves the room i pick up and inspect the gun as I pop open the chamber and look inside it 'seems like it Can use bullets but also if its necessary my magic as well, interesting.'

"Well there's always time later to think more about it lets see what Pharynx wants."

As I exit out of my hole i see Pharynx standing there fidgeting "Hey Pharynx, I heard you wanted to talk about something?"

Pharnyx stares at me for a few seconds taking a deep breath before he answers me " I kept thinking about what you said about making up with Thorax in private and I wanted to tell you that am going to try and talk with him.

My eyes widen as I'm pleasantly surprised that he is actually going to try and make amends with Thorax. I smiled "Oh thats good Pharynx I'm happy for y-

"BUT i-i wanna ask you a favor."

"Depends on what it issss?"

" I want you to be there when I talk with him"

I stare confused at him "me?" He nods "well no offense im flattered that you trust me enough but I feel like I'd be intruding on a personal matter."

"Look Thorax trusts you and I feel like if you were there It would go more smoothly without any problems, so im asking, can you come with me. Please?"

As I'm standing there listening to him finish I can see how desperate he is to make this work even pleading with me to be there to have a better chance at reconnecting with his brother.

"OK, I'll be there"

Pharynx sighs with relief "thank you Joseph you have no idea how much this means to me."

"No problem, now when do you plan on talking with him."

"Now" he grabs my hand dragging me along with him. "Wait what? I thought you were going to do this a couple of days from now or tomorrow at least."

Pharynx shakes his head "No, I've waited long enough and besides today he doesn't have to spend time learning about the hive which means he'll be studying what he does know in our hole.
_____________________________________________

As we approach his hole Pharynx starts to fidget nervously when we stop infront of the entrance "Remember what i said, you can't force him and you can't intimate him you can only try."

Pharynx nods nervously "Y-yeah right."

As we enter the entrance I see Thorax look up at us surrounded by journals and books looking older than a grandfather clock left to collect dust in attic O-oh hey Pharynx and J-Joseph!?"

I give him a small wave "hey"

He looks confused "Well as good as it is to see you what are you doing here?"

I look over at Pharynx "Well I'm here for support since it seems like Pharynx has something he wants to tell you."

Thorax looks over to Pharynx nervously as he stands up "y-yes Pharnyx?"

Pharynx looks so vulnerable right as he tries to speak but always seem to lose his voice everytime, finally he manages to find it.

"Thorax I want to ask you a question."

"S-sure g-go ahead."

Pharynx looks away from Thorax "What do you think of me?"

Thorax eyes widened a bit "Oh well I think your the toug-"

"Not what you think I want to hear, what you actually think of me. I won't be mad, I won't intimidate you I.. I want to know what you really think of me."

Thorax looks down at the floor as he takes a second to respond to Pharynx " I.. I do think your the toughest changeling in the hive Pharynx even if you think I'm the weakest, but.. I also like to think you care about me even if you don't want to or think so, I still think of you as my family."

"im sorry"

Thorax eyes widened in shock "what?"

Pharnyx turned back to Thorax "I'm sorry, for, everything I made you had to deal with."

Thorax starts waving his hands frantically "P-Pharnyx its ok."

"NO ITS NOT! You've had to deal with shit from me for years all because I didn't stop to think on how this could of affected you and instead focused on the fact that since you were safe there was nothing to worry about."

Pharynx sighs "Look, What I'm trying to say is as much as I tried to protect you i could have found a way to make time for you and I'm sorry for not being the brother you needed."

"But... if, and only if, you want me to, I would like to try be the brother you needed back then now, I won't promise it'll be perfect and I might make some mistakes but I would like to actually be your brother instead of just being considered as one."

Thorax seems to be heavy in thought as he looks over to me "What do you think Joseph? Do you think he's telling the truth?"

I answer without hesitancy "Yeah, I think he is."

Thorax nods looking back towards Pharynx as he walks up to him looking upwards at him stopping just a couple of inches infront of him, for a couple of seconds theres a tense feeling in the room as they stare at eachother not saying a word until finally, Thorax smiles. "Then yes, if you don't mind, I would love to be able to spend time with my brother."

And for the first time since I've met him Pharnyx smiles back "Thank you, for giving me another chance Thorax."

Thorax starts tapping his fingers together nervously "w-well since I'm giving you another chance can I ask for a favor?"

Pharynx nods "Sure what do you need?"

Thorax seems to shrink in on himself " w-well I was wondering i-i-if you don't mind I was wondering if Icouldhugyou."

"What?"

"I was wondering if I could hug you."

Pharynx widened his eyes shocked making Thorax panic at his suggestion "I-I-I mean you d-don't have to do that if you don't have to it was just a dumb idea I dont know i was thinking sorry that was a du-"

Thorax gets cut off as Pharynx wraps his arms around him making him freeze in place before he slowly starts wrapping his arms back around him, hestating, almost like he's convinced that its a dream that's about to end from any sudden movements.

As he wraps his arms around Pharnyx finally he starts leaning in to the hug tearing up while smiling " I've always dreamed of this moment for so long... thank you."

Satisfied with the result I excuse myself outside the room as I let them have their moment.

Two brothers once divided against eachother, can now begin to reconnect with eachother, together.