The Derpy Massacre

by GoblinAteYou

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Doctor Whooves, Main 6, Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia
Length: 1310

I decided for my first story... a gory, nightmarish would be appropriate. (I Dunno, you tell me)

One day Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hooves were hanging out. Things quickly got out of hoof. "RAINBOW!!!" Derpy abrubtly shouted. "Damn it, Derpy, what the hell do you want?" Rainbow immediately responded."Wanna blow bubbles?" Derpy asked. "Derpy... are you serious, WE ARE, YOU RETARD!!!" Rainbow yelled. Rainbow was obviously pissed at Derpy. "Umm, sor--" Derpy tried to say when Rainbow interrupted "Why the hell am I your friend?". Derpy then responded "But..." Rainbow calmed down "Sorry... I am just really stressed today". "Rainbow, why the fuck are you so goddamn mean to me?" Derpy asked firmly. Rainbow looked angered again "That's it!". "What?" Derpy responded. Rainbow picked up a rock and then slammed it hard on Derpy's skull. Derpy fell unconscious. Hours pass until Derpy finally wakes up... chained down. "Rainbow, what is this.". Rainbow looked at Derpy for a brief time. Rainbow picked up a hand-held circular saw. Derpy stared at the saw and then said clearly like Black Dynamite "Awwwww heeelllll noooo!". Derpy then broke the chain's and then landed on her hooves. Derpy knee'd Rainbow hard in the stomach and caused Rainbow to induce vomit. Derpy took the saw from Rainbow's hoof and then Derpy turned it on and placed it on rainbows spine. Blood spurting in all directions, Derpy continued down Rainbow's spine. Derpy grabbed the hacksaw that Rainbow was going to use off the the table. Derpy sawed into Rainbow's throat, decapitating here. Derpy threw the circular saw back. Derpy picked up Rainbow's head which is no longer attached to Rainbow's body. Derpy skined (or hided) Rainbow's head. Derpy put it on her head like it was a mask. Derpy kicked Rainbow's body then Derpy left. After a few months the Ponyville Newspaper read "573 ponies after these past few months mysteriously disappeared. Suspect currently recognized as Rainbow Danger Dash, but with a bubbles cutie mark, a grey hide, and a yellow tail?". Then Derpy remembered Docter whooves and Dinkie Doo... Derpy smiled. Well... better get at it.

Published 2012-10-10 15:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-10 15:40:02 UTC

The Derpy Massacre, The Rainbow Factory

Derpy arrived at cloudsdale.

hmm

. Derpy took out ?another? missle launcher and aimed at the walls of the Rainbow Factory. Derpy took a blood pack out and spread it on the clouds. it read:

Fuck you all

Derpy ran into the Rainbow Factory while they where in the middle of draining a pony of its color. Everybody was already worked up of course frome the explosion. Derpy took out two machine guns and started shooting everypony there.

HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!

Derpy got shot shot over 10 times but Derpy shook all the bullets off like they were nothing. Derpy jumped over millions of spectrum. Derpy wasnt scared... she kept on killing. Derpy took out her missle launcher again and that seemed to do the trick. DERPY KICKED THEIR ASSES!!!!!!!! Derpy ?drank? the rainbows and yelled

You shits are way to weak for my superior awesomeness.

. With everypony dead in the rainbow factory.... there were no more rainbows... Derpy later told EVERYPONY in ponyville that horrifying secret of a factory... the only reason Derpy knew about it was because Derpy overheard the talking about it when Derpy was really young. Derpy went back back to cloudsdale but not for long. Derpy just went back to examine the entire Rainbow Factory without anypony trying to kill her. Derpy took off her "Rainbow Dash mask" and grabbed one of the Rainbow Factory workers suit. She put it on then ripped her "Rainbow Dash mask" in half. Derpy then went back to ponyville... unsuspected...

The Derpy Massacre, Oh My Celestia

Derpy continued walking through ponyville. Derpy was later surprised when Princess Celestia appeared right in front of Derpy. Princess Celestia looked extremely angered.

Yo Celestia.... you alright.

Derpy spoke. Princess Celestia quickly demanded

COME WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. Derpy knew what was up. Derpy yelled

GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!! DAMN CELESTIA!!!!!! FUCK YOU, I'M NOT GOING WITH YOUR SORRY ASS!!!!!

. After Derpy said that, she couldn't stop Princess Celestia from forcing her to appear at canterlot with her powers. Derpy responded to the action

Damn it Celestia!! What the hell do you want from me!?

. Princess Celestia began to speak firmly

Oh, derpy..... you know exactly why...

. Derpy was obviously pissed off. Derpy then swiftly kicked Princess Celestia in the face, leaving a bruise. Derpy pulled out a mini-nuke gun. Princess Celestia gasped. Derpy then yelled

Now Celestia... shut the fuck up and i won't blow you the fuck up... got it asshole?

. Princess Celestia got even more than just angered... Princess Celestia was going insane with anger.

Foolish Derpy, you have no right to threaten ME!!!!

. Princess Celestia got slightly bigger, darker, and a shitload more scarier. Princess Celestia's eyes turned bloodshot red and she yelled at the top of her lungs

AND NOW DERPY, I SHALL TERMINATE YOU AND REMOVE YOU FROM EXISTENCE ENTIRELY

Oh shit

said Derpy. Derpy bolted at the Princess Celestia while Princess Celestia shot lightning bolts at Derpy. Derpy got to Princess Celestia and jabbed a knife in her neck. Derpy ran out of canterlot and shot a mini-nuke at the castle.(Where they were battling) Princess Celestia was princess no more. This had a MAJOR impact on all of Equestria... it will never be the same.

The Derpy Massacre, The Death Of The Deadly

Finally Derpy has arrived at ponyville after that random shit that happened between Derpy and Princess Celestia. After that Derpy was still killing anypony that. Derpy was completely unstoppable (or so they thought) and nightmarish.

It has been a year since Derpy has killed Rainbow Dash, Princess Celestia, shitload of workers at the Rainbow Factory, anypony within the range of the mini-nuke I shot, and over 2,000 other ponies. Derpy has grown bored of her epic killing spree. Mainly because Derpy has finally been found out publicly. Derpy ended up killing WAY more ponies than expected after being found out publicly. Derpy moves on, as in she finally stops. Derpy ends up "retiring" from her massive killing streak. Derpy stops wearing that suit she got from the Rainbow Factory. Derpy just now acts like plain old... Derpy.... the one we all know and love. Derpy was never found out to be... Derpy due to the suit. Everybody just assumed... the killer was gone for good. Very few suspected Derpy because of her "disappearance" during the killer was... well... killing, but they later thought past it. This killing spree ruined Equestria in so many ways. Derpy was obviously badass... in every way of her fighting style... simply "flawless". Derpy was not one to be messed with, that's for sure, but no one really known that. Derpy was found out by the Main ~~Six~~ Five. Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, ~~and Rainbow Dash~~. This was something Derpy didn't hope for... discovery of her true identity. Derpy simply said

Are you fucking kidding me? I finally stop killing people but it just so happens that 5 idiotic ponies find out my identity... well...I better go kill those assholes before they tell everypony that remain.

Derpy can't wait until midnight... it's to risky. Derpy puts her suit back on and heads out. Derpy breaks into Twilight's house and picks up a knife. Derpy slowly approaches but Twilight suddenly wakes up from her sleep and yells

NOW!!!

Derpy is shocked. Pinkie Pie charges at Derpy and so does Applejack and also Rarity with her horn armed. Derpy easily lays them out cold. Twilight stiffens Derpy so she can't move, and then fluttershy has... a bear. Twilight decapitates Derpy with her magic and the bear rips up Derpy's body and head. Twilight is glee'd that Derpy is finally gone, but Twilight has to aid Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie for they were only knocked unconscious. Everypony in Equestria is quickly informed and they are are so happy! As for Princess Celestia's, Rainbow Dash, and... well everypony's deaths, they mourn endlessly. No more rainbows, possibly no more day, and rare weather change. This was a sad breakthrough in everypony's life. For the only good thing in all of this... is that Derpy is gone.

The End

The Derpy Massacre, The "Loved" Ones

Derpy walked in her house.

Oh celestia what a day iv'e had...

. Docter Whooves came up and said

There you are!

. Docter Whooves leaned over to kiss Derpy.

Whoa whoa whoa.... get away from me

Derpy exlaimed. Docter sighed

Derpy what's the matter?

. Derpy responded

I'll tell you what's the goddamn matter... you won't get the hell away from me.

. Derpy walked past Docter Whooves.

Oh and docter...

.

what?

Docter Whooves asked.

Fuck you!

Derpy yelled. Derpy then quickly pulled out a gun and shoots Docter Whooves brains out. Derpy lightly chuckled but then Dinkie pulled on Derpy's leg. Derpy quickly responded.

GTFO!!!

. Derpy then saw Dinkies brains splattered all over the walls from Derpy pulling the trigger on Dinkie unsuspectedly. Derpy stared at Dinkies body for awhile... but then she suddenly gave a quick, forced, loud ha.

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. Derpy then heard a knock on the door.

SHIT!!!!

. Derpy quickly threw open the door grabbed the two policeponies and yanked them in then Derpy shot both of them in the head after slamming the door closed. Derpy knew the cops were gonna be on her ass so Derpy took a missle launcher. Ran out the door when it hit midnight. Derpy blew up her house, then she threw the missle launcher, the impact of it caused a boom but Derpy was unharmed. Derpy bolted to cloudsdale. Derpy said to herself.

Next stop, Rainbow Factory