Newbie Dash (Alternative)

They barely run two hundred meters before the dizziness and blurred vision emerge again. It has been so long since that particular side effect of her disease has hit her, but Dash still knows that she can simply push through it and keep going.

So far, her and Applejack are the front runners, and Rainbow can feel that she couldn’t run to her full potential, because Applejack is visibly (for Dash) holding herself back to match her pace.

The two athletic ponies may be running a race, but the earth pony would hold true to her word and keep an eye on her still recovering friend.

At the halfway point, she was starting to slow down against her will, and two racers surpass the pair. Dash is panting heavily and her vision is repeatedly obstructed by the familiar black dots.

“Sugarcube.” Applejack starts, panting a bit as well, but a lot less out of breath. “Let’s take a break.”

“No….. I’m fine….” Dash barely gets out between her gasping breaths. The devil is taking over, determination fills her and she pushes even further, temporarily speeding up again.

Unfortunately the black spots obstruct her visual field so much that she runs straight into a semi large rock sticking up in the middle of the path, tripping over it with a yelp and groaning when she’s collapsed on the ground.

Applejack immediately brakes to a stop and stands protectively behind her, to keep Dash from getting trampled over.

The other racers quickly surpass them both, rubbing salt into the wound for Dash, and to no important matter whatsoever to Applejack.

When the pegasus makes no move to stand up again, the earth pony offers her a hoof. “You alright there?”

Dash sighs sadly, looking anywhere but at her friend, and tries to get back to her feet without help. The change in posture, plus her exhausted, and still far from totally recovered, body, make the dizziness and black vision return full force, accompanied by the under-water-hearing.

She stumbles all of two steps before collapsing all over again. She wishes that she was unconscious, because her brain is practically tearing her apart for being so weak. How is she supposed to fly as a Wonderbolt ever again if she’s this useless?

“Get on mah back.” Applejack orders, crouching next to her.

“We’ll both lose the race. Again.” Dash complains, shaking her head.

“Forget the race! Yah can’t even get up!”

Of course she means it well, but the remark only feeds the negative thoughts for Dash.

“I’m fine.” She argues, glaring at her friend, and pushes herself up again. Applejack is instantly offering herself for Dash to lean on, but of course the stubborn pegasus ignores her, and to AJ’s utter disbelief, she suddenly runs off in a full on sprint, as though trying to catch up to the other ponies.

The earth pony runs after her, calling her name and trying to get her to stop. She’d made the promise to Twilight that she would keep their friend safe, and she already knows that Dash is not going to stop unless her body gives out — and keeping Twilight’s worry about the condition of Dash’s heart in mind, her body might even give out for good.

Horse apples. This was a stupid idea. And it was my stupid idea. She thinks as she continues to gallop after her friend.

“Rainbow, STOP!” She shouts again, and not a moment later, the pegasus collapses for a third time. Applejack barely has enough time to slow down before she would inadvertently injure her friend further.

This time, however, the pegasus is passed out and unresponsive.

“Darn it, Dash. Yah should’ve stopped.” She grumbles, though the only pony she blames is herself. She inhales deeply before hollering into the sky, “HELP! SOME PONY HELP!”

When Dash comes to again, she hears Applejack trying to calm down Twilight, who is ranting about her own failure to keep Rainbow safe.

“It’s not your fault.” She rasps, pushing herself up on wobbly legs, barely able to sit up. She barely opens her eyes before she feels her friends holding her stable on either side.

“What do you mean?” She hears Twilight, but all she could see right now are blurry, colourful blobs.

“It was me…” she admits, still trying to blink her vision clear.

Her friends are just getting more confused, sharing an unseen look.

“We should take you to a hospital.” Twilight says seriously. “Something could be seriously wrong.”

Dash picks up her head at that. “No!”

“Rainbow, you just passed out — again. That’s not good!”

Dash groans. “Urgh! It was me, okay?!”

The other two stare at her, stunned.

The Pegasus sighs. “I figured that I need my normal metabolism if I want to have any chance to win this race against Applejack, once and for all. So.. I… didn’t take those pills…”

There is a three second pause as her words sink in. Then…
“You did WHAT?!” Twilight exclaims angrily. “How in Equestria did you even do that without me noticing?!” She wonders, because she always makes sure to not leave Dash alone for her meals.

Rainbow nervously scratches the back of her neck. “I cheeked it, then spat it out when I was alone.” She hangs her head again, this time in shame rather than dizziness. “I’m sorry. I really thought that it wouldn’t matter much at this point if I was taking them or not..”

While Twilight has a stroke, Applejack comes in front of the Pegasus and enforces eye contact. “We’ve talked about this, Rainbow Dash. Yer ill, and still recovering. Yer body can’t handle this much exertion yet. Yah just need some more time.”

Dash squeezes her eyes shut in rising anger at the last part. “I have! I’m trying to be patient! I’m fighting every single day!” She slumps her shoulders with a sigh. “I just want everything to go back to how it was before I decided to be stupid.”

Twilight is able to think clearly again and frowns at that. “What do you mean, ‘before you decided to be stupid’? No pony ‘decides’ to get ill.”

“I would take a hundred feather flu’s over this.” Dash grumbles. “I don’t even want to talk about any of it, because… imagine being afraid of food, or your own reflection — because you can’t even see what you actually look like!” She snaps, facepalming and flaring her wings. “I’m so sick of it! But it doesn’t go away! And I’m so sick of always disappointing everyone.” She turns away and rips off her race number. “I wish I would just disappear.” She mutters to herself with her voice cracking, before making to run away.

Applejack quickly chomps onto her tail to keep her here, but all that does is make Dash yelp and run off, and leave the earth pony with her mouth full of fallen-out tail hairs. Twilight gasps at the sight before quickly grabbing the Pegasus with her magic, before she could escape.

“Rainbow, stop. Let’s just talk.” She approaches carefully, placing the Pegasus down and releasing her magical hold.

Applejack spits out the many colourful hairs. “We only want to help you, sugarcube.”

“Why haven’t you told us that you’re struggling so much?” Twilight asks softly. “Why haven’t you told me?”

Rainbow sighs heavily, pointedly looking at the ground. “What’s the point? Talking about it doesn’t solve anything.”

“Princess Celestia-”
“-isn’t dealing with this ridiculous disorder!” Dash shouts.
“No, she isn’t, but she has helped a pony to recover from it.” Twilight points out. “And she said that you will too, because you have us.” She throws AJ a smile. “Because friends don’t abandon friends when things get tough.”

“Yeah, cause true friends are loyal to each other, right Rainbow?” Applejack jokes with a grin.

The Pegasus finally looks up, still insecure and with her ears pinned back. “I just don’t know how to get better. I’m doing everything you guys tell me to, but it’s not getting any easier.” She looks away again, unable to face her friends as she finally opens up about her struggle. “I dread every new day, because it means I’ll have to eat again. I dread every meal, every snack. I can’t handle seeing my reflection on anything. Without Princess Luna, I have never ending nightmares of eating everything in sight and becoming absolutely huge.”

Twilight can’t help tearing up at hearing how much her friend has been silently suffering.

Applejack closes her eyes in sadness for a moment, then reaches out and puts a hoof on her defeated friend’s shoulder. “I won’t pretend to understand what yer going through, but Ah know that yer one of the most stubborn, thick headed ponies that Ah’ve ever met. If any pony can get through this, it’s you. We all believe in you, and we’ll all be there fer you.”

Rainbow looks up at her when she backs away again. Dash has tears welling up in her eyes. “I hate putting you guys through this. I don’t want you all to have to worry about me all the time.” She tells her friends, shaking her head. “It’s just that.. sometimes, the voice in my head tells me that I don’t deserve to get better. That I shouldn’t even be here anymore, when it just means hurting you guys. And that every time I eat, I fail…”

Twilight has to wipe away tears before she can speak. “You deserve to get better, and we will tell you that as long and as often as you need us to, until you no longer doubt it.” She pulls the Pegasus into a hug, and they cry into each other’s manes. Applejack hums in agreement, hugging both ponies even tighter.