Unsent Letters, Unsung Failures

by gloamish

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Spike, Princess Celestia
Length: 3313

Twilight Sparkle thought friendship was supposed to be about picnics and songs, not fights and hurt feelings. She never sent a report about the reality being a mix of both, but she got close a few times.

Making friends isn't easy. Twilight Sparkle thought friendship was supposed to be about picnics and songs, not fights and hurt feelings. Princess Celestia never warned her about those. But maybe what feel like detours are just another part of the path, and the 'friendship reports' written and abandoned in fits of rage and sorrow will lead to a genuine one...

Placed fifth in the Dialogue Only Contest!

Cover art by RayneTheSkunk!

reviews: louderyay

Published 2024-06-09 13:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-09 13:40:00 UTC

Friendship Reports

"Twilight, are you going to bed? It's not even noon. At least put away the dictionary."

"I think I'm sick. Can you write to the Princess and ask her to come pick me up?"

"Twilight, come here... Oh my! You're burning up."

"I do not doubt your ability to learn, but rest is far more important right now."

"I'll have the staff prepare some soup."

"Um... Do you want me to head over to Mortar & Pestle for some medicine?"

"No. I just want to go home. Get me a quill, I'll write it myself."

"I'm not sure that's really what Celestia had in mind for you... You never turn down a mission from the Princess. She... Well, she said this is your new home, right? And you said—"

"Forget what I said! I don't want to be here anymore. This isn't home. I want my telescope, and my tea set, and my books..."

"You've got a shipment of books coming in from Canterlot every day! What's really the matter?"

"... Applejack called me a townie."

"... So?"

"So she thinks that I'm naive! That I don't know how the world works!"

"She just insulted you out of nowhere? Doesn't really sound like Applejack..."

"I mean... I did call her a churl. Directly before that."

"... A what?"

"A hick. A yokel. A country bumpkin."

"You called her all those, too, huh?"

"It's true! Ask any Canterlotian to think of one, and I bet she's what comes up."

"Yeah, and they'd also think of a pony who's stupid. Is that AJ?"

"Well, she didn't know what a churl was..."

"I didn't either!"

"... I wish the Princess was here. She'd know how to fix this."

"Well, why not try by yourself?"

"I'm not always going to be here to help you, Twilight."

"Fine. Fine, I'll try."

"Course I accept your apology, Twi. S'long as you can accept mine. We've both probably heard a lot more stories about ponies like each other than we've actually met 'em, huh?"

"We have... I shouldn't be so quick to judge. I'm really glad to have a friend like you, Applejack."

"You're not too bad yourself... for a townie."

"Hehe."

"Dear Princess Celestia..."

"Oh, hey Twilight! Let me get some paper... And can you shut the door? It's drafty. Alright. Dear Princess Celestia?"

"I have finished my studies into friendship in Ponyville."

"What? Twilight—"

"I will prepare a detailed report once I have returned home, but my preliminary conclusion is that friends do not better a pony, and only serve to waste her time and distract her from worthwhile pursuits. Please send a chariot to collect myself and Spi—"

"You can't just quit because you had a fight with Rainbow Dash."

"I'm not quitting. I'm done. Finished. Friendship is stupid and a waste of time. There's my conclusion. I'll pad it with evidence and citations, of course, but that's the core of it. It's only been a moon, I should still be on track to get my doctorate in wards if I cram a little."

"Congratulations on gaining your second doctorate, Twilight."

"You want to celebrate with me? Again? Wouldn't any of your peers...?"

"... Very well. I'll have the staff pack a picnic. You worked so hard, after all."

"You're just holding a grudge at this point!"

"She didn't even apologize to me!"

"Hi Twilight! Hi Spike!"

"Pinkie? Could you shut the door, it's real windy..."

"Sure! Dashie's really kicking up a storm out there. So, what's up?"

"Well, Twilight was just telling me how she's finished with her studies on friendship."

"Wow! Great job, Twilight! I heard you were a smarty shoes, but that barely took any time at all! What's next?"

"I'll return to Canterlot and my astral studies."

"... You're leaving Ponyville?.. But I've barely gotten to know you! I haven't even had the chance to throw you a birthday party!"

"You can do it without me, it shouldn't be too different. That's what Rainbow seems to think, anyway."

"Twilight? Why aren't you downstairs?"

"I know you don't know the other fillies very well, but it's your party. It won't be the same without you there."

"Oh, don't say that..."

"Come down for ten minutes, just to cut the cake. For me?"

"Yes, then we can have the rest of the party in my study."

"Of course with books. I certainly saw at least one book-shaped present downstairs..."

"What? Rainbow can be a little silly, but even she wouldn't have a birthday party without the birthday filly!"

"A little silly, says Pinkie..."

"Well, I'm a big silly. It's important to have a scale for this stuff, Spike."

"Twilight, just tell her what happened."

"It's not her problem."

"But it could be my solution! Go on, bend my ear... Heehee, quit it, I'm ticklish!"

"But you said—"

"Never mind what I said! What was Twilight saying?"

"... Rainbow just said something stupid. It's not important."

"It sounded like you thought it was pretty important."

"Yeah! If this is your thesis defense on friendship, I'm offended! 'My friend hurt me and I don't care' doesn't sound like anything a Doctor Friendship would say."

"Didn't say she hurt me."

"I puzzled that one out myself. Rainbow's pretty fast, so she can get ahead of herself and hurt somepony when she doesn't mean to, then she goes and—"

"What?! I can't hear you! Spike, get the—"

"Shutters battened, cap'n. I know this storm was on the schedule, but I don't think it was meant to be this intense..."

"Yeah, Dashie kind of... chases the rest of the team out of the sky when she's like this."

"Like this? Like what?"

"Upset, of course! Can't you tell?"

"Why is she upset? She's the one who messed up! I should be upset! I am upset!"

"Unfortunately, Twilight, feelings aren't taken in turns as in croquet."

"Yeah, exactly! She's the one who's messed up, so she's mad. And mad Dashie bashes her head against a problem until it's fixed. So when she thinks the problem is her..."

"... Oh. She's... not going to hurt herself, is she? I should go stop her, this is my fault..."

"She'll be fine! It's nothing new. Either she'll go a little too hard on a weather shift or she'll fly off somewhere over Rambling Rock for a day. She said it helps 'knock the words in her head into the right order'."

"So she's up there thinking of an apology?.. I... I guess I actually prefer the wait to an insincere one."

"It's better to suffer a little silence than to speak too hastily."

"Yes, I know. But patience is a virtue, is it not?"

"Dashie's the sincerest pony I know! Do you wanna bake some cookies?"

"What?"

"Spike, are the shutters shutted?"

"No, I heard you, it's just... Why?"

"Why not? Rainbow likes funfetti ones, I'll show you the trick to keep the sprinkles all colorful!"

"Why am I making cookies for the pony who hasn't even apologized to me?.."

"Because she will, silly! And because she's your friend, right? A little fight won't end that."

"I guess so. Thanks, Pinkie."

"Twilight?.. Twilight, are you there?"

"Rarity! Hi! Twilight, Rarity's here!"

"I can hear."

"Come on in! Hat rack's just there. She's—"

"Twilight, the fillies and I were so worried when you didn't show up for our little lunch date. Has something happened?"

"She just got caught up in a book, must've forgotten. Happens all the time. Right, Twilight?"

"Nope. I mean, I am reading, yes, but I didn't forget lunch. I decided not to come."

"... Oh, I see. Are you not feeling well?"

"Feel great, actually."

"Did you not like the place I chose? I know you must be used to better fare in Canterlot, but—"

"Don't really care about that, no."

"Then... Why?"

"Because it's a waste of time."

"I'm sorry, Twilight, I just don't have time for tea today. A supplicant from Griffonstone..."

"Twilight..."

"A... Pardon?"

"You already finished? That's very impressive, Twilight. You're certainly an accomplished reader."

"Ah, well, I suppose... Why not Moonbeam's treatise on dislocation? It's a little advanced, but—"

"Getting lunch with 'friends' when I could be reading instead. Once I finish this book, I'll be one book smarter, one book more accomplished. A little more of the world will be known to me. What will you have to show for your 'little lunch'?"

"Yes, knowledge is its own reward, isn't it? I think of it as learning about the world, a little piece at a time."

"Twilight!"

"I... Well, I'll have spent more time with those who are important to me. My heart will be a little fuller, and with that, my work more beautiful."

"Mm."

"Are you... sure you wouldn't like to come? The others would love to see you. We could make it a quick visit, only half an hour..."

"Nah."

"... Well. I suppose I'll be going, then. Sorry to bother you. Spikey, you're welcome to join us still..."

"Thanks, Rarity. I'll catch up with you in a bit. The Silver Teaspoon, right?"

"Yes, that's the one. I shall see you there. Good day, Twilight."

"Mmhm."

"Twilight, this is Moondancer and the others all over again!"

"Don't you want to go to Twinkleshine's party?"

"Yes, exactly! At least you get it. Other ponies are just so distracting, with all their little trivialities, and—"

"No, I don't get it! You like spending time with these ponies! I've seen you laughing with them! So why do you—"

"I'm sure if you read something a bit thicker than a comic book, you'd understand. Why not go trail after your latest crush?"

"Argh! You're just... impossible! Fine! If you won't take her offer, I will! I'm going to lunch."

"Whatever."

"... Seeya later, Twilight."

"Uh-huh."

"She was crying, Twilight."

"How could you say that?"

"My faithful student... Language and writing weren't created to store knowledge. They were made to communicate ideas between ponies. None of this means anything if you can't learn—"

"... Yes. It would make me happy."

"Spike, are you awake?"

"Snzzz.. Double black diamond?.. Sounds delicious..."

"... Dear Princess Celestia... Am I broken? I just don't seem to get it like other ponies do. I keep hurting my friends, but even when I apologize... That doesn't make it okay that I hurt them. I think I really was better off shut away in my tower. If not for me, then for others.

"I don't understand it. Sometimes I'll be practically normal, laughing along with everypony else. And then it's like a switch flicks off, and how happy they've all made me will mean nothing. I relapse to this tetchy teenager that... really doesn't deserve friends at all. How can they still forgive me after I act like that?

"It makes me so scared, because I never know when it'll come. Will I be like this forever, Princess? No matter how much progress I make and how many friends I get to know, will I always eventually revert to that lonely mare in her tower? Is that who I really am, and this is all just a lie?

"All the friendship reports I've written to you... Maybe they're useless. I... wish I could just talk to you face to face again. But you sent me away, and Luna is back now, and... Is there even room in your life for me now?

"... Remember when you were teaching me that soothing wish? I was so frustrated... I really just didn't get it. I pushed myself so hard, I even broke down crying. You... had to ask me to stop. I was so embarrassed and afraid... I thought I'd failed you.

"Then, the next day, there you were. You'd taken the morning off, and were sitting there with all the textbooks straightened out, all evidence of my tantrum swept away. And you asked..."

"Would you like to try again?"

"Not if I was ready, but if I wanted to. And I said of course, but I don't know if I can do it, and..."

"You'll never find out if you don't keep trying."

"I... I was so relieved, and I grasped it the first try that time. You were so proud of me, and... I don't know if I can do this, Princess. But... I want to keep trying. I want to find out.

"Good night, Princess."

"Dear Princess Celestia, I hate ponies!"

"I apologize, Twilight. It's nothing you did. Sometimes court can be... taxing."

"Yeah, I'm not even going to bother to write this one down."

"Their sniveling little faces, their lies, the way they always dance around issues and never tell you to your face what the problem is! And when they do, they act like it's your fault for not guessing! It's not my fault!"

"How'd you mess up this time?"

"I didn't! I was trying to help! Fluttershy—"

"Uh oh."

"See, you know exactly what I'm talking about! She's... such a pushover! She's going to be miserable forever if she doesn't learn to speak up about what she wants. We were planning where to go for lunch, and I asked her what she wanted to eat, and she did her usual 'oh don't mind me Twilight I'm no big deal' and I just... I pushed!"

"Sometimes all a pony needs is a little push to reach their potential."

"Not only must it be in the right direction, it must be of the right strength, as well."

"If it is too soft, she will not notice. If it is too hard... she may fall."

"You pushed, huh."

"And they all turned on me! Like I was the problem!"

"Did you make her cry?"

"She... might have cried. I wouldn't say I made her, but... everypony else seemed to think so. But it's not like there's a Fluttershy manual with a 'Don't Tell Her To Stand Up for Herself' chapter!"

"Yeah, wouldn't that be great."

"Wait... The Princess did send me here to study the field... so I could make advancements in the field! She probably realized friendship has been stagnant for centuries! This is it, Spike!"

"I think she left a signal flare with me for this scenario..."

"Oh, it's perfect! Everypony will have their own personal manual! You can read up on somepony before you even meet them, and have all the tips to ensure your interaction goes smoothly! Or the knowledge to avoid them entirely!"

"Twilight... Your friends all 'turning on you' was the manual. And it kinda sounds like you threw it away."

"... Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well that's even worse! So I'm just supposed to keep making mistakes and hurting ponies until I learn not to?!"

"I... think so, yeah."

"I'm definitely nailing the first part..."

"Mistakes are part of learning, my faithful student."

"The learned mare is not she who never erred, but she who knew how to continue. Devotion, not talent, is key."

"They haven't ever refused to forgive you, have they? They're still your friends. You've only gotten closer with them."

"But what if this is the last straw?.. What if they're all talking together right now, deciding to cut me off? I... Oh, Spike, I made Fluttershy cry... I really haven't changed at all..."

"You have, Twilight! Remember Calm, from school? You made a mistake then, too, but..."

"Oh, the staff said a colt by the name of Calm Ripple was looking for you. Do you know him?"

"I see. Perhaps an admirer, then?.."

"Oh, I'm only teasing, Twilight. Shall we begin our lesson?"

"... I didn't care. I just cut him and his friends off... It was easier than owning up to it. And I... When I hurt him, I just figured they'd all be better off without me in the picture."

"What about now?"

"I'm going to go apologize to her. Thanks for talking some sense into me, buddy."

"It's what I'm here for. Good luck."

"Fluttershy?... I know you're home, Fluttershy. I can see Angel on the counter. He's... threatening me, I think. I can come back later, I just wanted to apologize to you."

"Oh, that's okay, Twilight. It's really alright."

"... No, it isn't. I shouldn't have pushed your boundaries so hard. And I shouldn't have lashed out at the others when they told me I was in the wrong."

"Well, it all turned out okay in the end, so—"

"You got hurt. And I think you're still hurt, too. You won't even open the door."

"I just need a moment to calm Angel Bunny down... He gets so upset when somepony..."

"Makes you cry."

"... Mm. I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize! You haven't done anything wrong."

"Oh, I'm sorry... Oh! Sorry... Sorry, I don't want to be a bother..."

"But I want you to! Don't you get it?! I—

"Sorry. I'm doing it again. I'm not mad at you, I just... When I do something that hurts you, I want to know, okay? I want you to be happy, Fluttershy. Do you... know that?"

"I... It's not important. I'm not—"

"It is! You are. Why don't you think that?.."

"I just... I d— don't matter like other ponies, I'm n— no— not worth as much, I— I—!"

"Oh, Twilight... Come here. It's alright... You're okay."

"Shh... It's okay... You're alright."

"Dear Princess Celestia...

"... I have a confession. It's one of those non-confessions like when I was a filly and got grumpy and cried and admitted I skipped lunch to study and was hungry now, and you'd smile like you knew all along because you probably did, and—"

"Slow down, Twilight! Just give me a second... Okay, keep going."

"... And you'd reveal that you'd had the staff bring up a spread just for me and you to eat.

"The confession is, well... The telescope in my tower actually saw plenty of use beyond stargazing. Sometimes I'd turn it on the castle, just to see what was for breakfast and whether it was worth coming out of my room, but mostly it was turned out on the town. I watched ponies. I watched friends. Lunch dates, library visits, shopping... Friends did all sorts of things together.

"And they were always so happy. They trotted along and laughed and sang, and never ever fought. That's what I thought, anyway. When I saw ponies fighting in public I just assumed they weren't friends to begin with. And because of that, I thought I couldn't possibly have friends — those ponies out in the world were bright and fun and happy, and I was, more often than not, moody and closed-off and terse."

"You weren't that bad, Twi. I'm adding a note."

"Fine, fine. Thanks. Letter continues: I hated all the ponies I saw through my lens, to cover up the jealousy. I thought of them all as ignorant and naive, unable to see past their muzzles, while I, in my high tower, could see everything. I thought I was learning about the world, piece by piece, but... My world was so small. It was like a little scale model, too small to fit all the little flaws and imperfections of reality.

"Now I have friends, I understand that friendship isn't something simple and sweet, the little model I saw from a distance. It's made of all sorts of flavors — bitter, salty, spicy... Just one would overwhelm the palette, and together they form a full-course meal. I think... For the first time in my life, I know how a full heart feels. Thank you, Princess Celestia. Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle."

"I think she'll like this one. Post-script?"

"I think so too. None this time."

"Alright then, off it goes. I'm headed to bed!"

"Night, Spike. Love you."

"Gross! Night, Twi... Love you too."

"... Princess... Have we ever fought?"