Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
"Hiii! Bezel here! Embodiment of Time! Yeah, I know, big deal. Did you know the end of the world is coming?"
"Long ago. . . a prophecy etched into the fabric of the universe itself had stated that a demi-god would descend to Earth!"
"His destiny? Warp it beyond recognition to his own selfish desires!"
"Hoo-hoo! We're gradually approaching this culmination."
"CUUUUT!" a voice shouted.
Bezel turned away from the camera to see Discord sitting in a director's chair holding a megaphone.
"That was terrible!" Discord shouted, "Where's the passion? Where's the emotion? If you're gonna break the fourth wall and address the viewers directly, at least do it right! I mean, really? Analog horror? I never considered you one to chase fads. . . but then again you are a parody of Tumblr sexy man, so. . ."
"Uggh!" Bezel groaned, the hands on his clock face drooping in displeasure, "Discord, the Embodiment of Chaos. Just great. . ."
"That's Spirit of Chaos, Clockhead," Discord corrected irately as he flatted the megaphone into a frisbee between his eagle claw and lion paw. He stood up, folded the director's chair into a suitcase, and slipped the frisbee into it. He held the case to Bezel and said, "Here. A little gift to Chikin. You'll make sure he gets it, right?"
Bezel smacked the suitcase away and said, "The puppy will have no use for such things once the prophecy has come to pass."
Discord gagged and said, "Ack! Prophecies! I can't stand those things! Always so rigid and set in stone! Even the vague ones still act like they're so certain and high and mighty!"
Bezel floated behind Discord and poked his chin while saying, "That's because they are, Discord. Especially this one."
Discord smacked Bezel's gloved hand away and said, "Please keep your hands off of me, or you just might lose them." Discord then opened his lion paw to reveal Bezel's hour and minute hand in his furry paw.
Bezel gasped, and quickly snatched the hands back and stuck them back on his face. He wound the hands to make sure they were working, then angrily stomped his foot and said, "Why are you even here?! It's annoying enough to have that demon and dragon acting like they can change anything. Now I have to have you around?"
Discord scoffed and said, "Please! If anything, you should be glad to see me. I'm actually trying to help you!"
"Reeeeaaaaally?" Bezel said as he folded his hands behind his back and leaned forward so that his glass face was nearly pressed up against Discord's nose, "And how do you figure that?"
Discord frowned, his face reflected on Bezel's, and he said, "I'm trying to help you by saving you the trouble of putting all this effort in carrying out a scheme that is doomed to fail from the start."
Bezel leaned back to laugh hysterically, "Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Doomed to fail? Seriously? This prophecy is etched into the universe! It can't fail! It's inevitable! It's only a matter of time before it happens. And since I am the Embodiment of Time, it's only natural that I help it along."
Discord looked down at his lion wrist, where he suddenly wore a wristwatch that looked exactly like Bezel's face. "Oh puh-lease. I'm afraid your little prophecy is up against something far stronger, my little time piece." Discord tapped the wristwatch with an eagle talon, and it broke apart in burst of springs and gears. Discord then turned to the real Bezel and said with a grin, "You will be defeated by the same force that defeated me."
Discord snapped his talons, and two portraits appeared on either side of him. On one side was a portrait of himself surrounded by Fluttershy and the rest of the Mane Six, all of them smiling happily. On the other was a portrait of Chikin Nuggit surrounded by Cheezborger, Cofi, Slushi, Sody Pop, Iscream, and Fwench Fwy.
Discord gestured to the two portraits and said, "The Magic of Friendship! Something I underestimated and refused to believe in, much like you right now! So, how about you save yourself a whole lot of trouble and time and just quit while you're ahead."
Bezel's head, ever free from the restriction of a neck, tilted to one side. He then said, "Are you seriously lecturing me on saving time?"
Bezel then pointed at the portrait of Discord and the Mane Six, and the hands on his face spun and spun. The portrait changed to show Discord all alone and miserable, his mane and beard overgrown and unkempt.
"Time can eroded the so-called 'magic' of friendship so very easily, Discord," Bezel said gravely, "And as for the puppy's so-called friends, haven't you noticed? There are six of them. Three groups of two. The fox and red panda are already paired up, and the demon and dragon have done a good job distracting each other from their supposed missions. So, once the kitty cat and sheep in wolf's clothing are together, the puppy will be all alone. And once he's alone, that prophecy will be as good as fulfilled."
Discord glanced sourly at the portrait Bezel had changed. Discord snapped his fingers to make both portraits vanished, and he glared at Bezel and asked, "And why are you telling me all this?"
Bezel laughed again, "Hoo-Hoo! Hoo-hoo! Come now, Discord! You know the rules! For all your power, you aren't allowed to interact with anyone else in this dimension except for me. So don't even bother trying to warn anyone else. No one else can see, hear, or perceive you. Not even the puppy!"
Discord's frown deepened and he said, "I suppose you're right. . ." Discord then looked at Bezel with disdain and said, "But don't be so cocky. Using friendship to defeat friendship isn't going to work either. You aren't going to win."
"Oh, it's not about winning," Bezel insisted, "It's gonna happen no matter what. No one can change fate, you know. I'm just eager to see the clock strike midnight."
"Uh-huh, sure you are," Discord said, sounding very unimpressed. Then he sighed and said, "Oh well, I tried. But listen, when things don't go your way and you get desperate, I have to advise you not to take Katsup and Meowstard hostage and threaten to kill one of them just for the heck of it. The last guy who tried doing something like that ended up getting erased by a memory gun. Not that you wouldn't deserve it, but what can I say? I relate to you too much to see karma hurt you too badly."
"Hoo-Hoo! Hoo-hoo! Go ahead, keep talking Discord! Keep talking while I keep dancing the infinite dance of time! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!"
Discord watched Bezel twirl around and laugh for a moment, then he shook his head and snapped his talons to teleport away.
Back in his chaos dimension, Discord sat in contemplation as he sat in a comfortable chair watching seemingly random images on a TV set.
"Just you wait, Bezel," Discord said as he stroked his beard, "The Magic of Friendship works in mysterious ways. You may find that Chikin Nuggit has more friends than you might think."
A small, sly grin appeared on Discord's face as the image of a red squirrel appeared on the TV.
"Things are about to get spicy. . ."
The End?
