This is 911. What’s Your Emergency?by daOtterGuyChaptersI’m Running Down an Alleyway!The Great and Powerful Trixie is Being Threatened!Someone is Trying Stab Me!I’m Trapped in the Barn!I’m Stuck in JailI’m Running Down an Alleyway!“And there’s a killer after me!” “Okay. Where are you?” “I am in the alleyway off of Main Street. The Twist as it is commonly called.” “That is a large stretch of area to cover. Do you know which end you’re on?” “No! I have just been running and—” “That’s fine. We’ll get you out of there. What’s your name?” “Octavia.” “Alright, Octavia. I’ll bring up an overhead map to help you.” “Please hurry!” “...Okay, I have it open. Do you see any major landmarks nearby?” “No, I— wait! I think I recognize that store!” “Which one?” “I don’t know! It is from the back and I do not normally take this route.” “Do you see a light on?” “There could not possibly be anyone in there at this time of night!” “Someone could be working late. Try knocking on the door.” “I do not see the point, but fine.” Knock. Knock. Knock. “No one answered.” “...” “Hello? Operator?” “...Yes. Do you have another way forward?” “Of course, I— Ahhh!” “Octavia?!” “No, no! Get back you ruffian!” “Octavia? What’s happening?” “Wow! You’re really agile aren’t you?!” “More than you!” “Is the killer there?!” “...” “...” “...” “...Ms. Operator?” “Octavia! I’m glad to hear from you.” “Yes, I— It was close. Far too close for comfort. Do you have a time estimate on when the police will arrive?” “They should be there soon. Do you know where you are?” “Yes. I am more familiar with this part of the Twist. I can see Carousel Boutique across the street.” “Good to hear, Octavia. Just make your way out of the alley and the police will meet you there.” “...Why am I hearing you twice?” “That’s because I’m right next to you.” “Wha—?!” Clang. Crunch. “...Damn, Bonnie. What a swing!” “...You can’t have all the fun, Lyra. Did the knocking help?” “Yep~! Let me track her down reeeal fast. You’d think they would learn to be quieter when a killer is chasing after them.” “They never do. One more target for the evening to close things off?” “Oooh! You’re such a flirt, Bonnie. You know just what to say to make me happy.” “Anything for you, Lyra. Now, let’s get moving. Our window of opportunity before daylight comes is short.” The Great and Powerful Trixie is Being Threatened!“With a knife! And tacky taste in clothing!” “Where are you?” “Trixie is at Canterlot High.” “Isn’t it kinda la—” “It is difficult to find places to practice Trixie’s great and powerful tricks that do not cost Trixie more noise complaint fines!” “And what’s your name?” “The Greeeat and Pooowerful Trixie!” “...Was the trill necessary?” “Yes!” “...Right. The police have been contacted with your location. They should be there shortly.” “Trixie is not worried about that! Trixie needs direction on how to get out of Canterlot High!” “Wait? Why are—” “That doesn’t matter. Trixie needs help!” “Okay. Where is your exact position?” “Trixie is on the roof. How does she get down?” “I meant to ask, but why are you speaking in the third person?” “It’s Trixie’s coping mechanism! Stop victim shaming Trixie!” “Sorry. Can you see the fire escape nearby?” “Yes, Trixie— No!” “What’s wrong?!” “The ladder has been busted! Trixie blames Sunset Shimmer.” “Who? Also, why?” “Trixie’s good friend and classmate who is due for another bad girl streak.” “Would it not be more reasonable to presume the killer did it…?” “Trixie prefers her interpretation.” “That— Okay. Are there any other ways down? A lower roof? Handholds?” “Trixie is many things, but she is not a mountain goat. Sooo, no.” “So, you’re trapped on the roof?” “Yes.” “With no way down?” “Yes!” “Then that’s game, Lyra.” “Thanks, Bonnie~!” “What?!” “Honestly, a bit of a let down compared to the others.” “Yeah, this was sooo easy~!” “Who is this?! What does— Ahhh! The tacky killer!” “Okay, now that’s just rude.” “Yeah! It’s not Bonnie’s fault that she has no fashion sense!” “Lyra!” “Look. She’s got a point. We’ll workshop the outfit later. Now, Trixie. Time to— Ahhh!” “Haha! Trixie is saved. Beat ‘er butt!” “Lyra?! Lyra, what happened?!” “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will—” “Officer Armour?! What is— Trixie!” “Trixie is very glad for friend Twilight’s dad’s number!” “Brother. Trixie, I’m her brother.” “Okay, Twilight’s dad.” “Trix— Ugh. Doesn’t matter. Suspect has been detained. Who is this on the 911 line? State your ID.” “Cut the line, Bonnie!” “But—!” “We can’t both get caught!” “I want a call trace on the line!” “Okay, Lyra. Love you.” “Love you too, Bon Bon~!” “Dammit! I need someone to trace this now!” “See, this is why Trixie is best—” Static. Someone is Trying Stab Me!“And they’re still here!” “Stay calm. Where are you?” “Crystal Prep. I’m hiding in one of the classrooms.” “Okay. The police have been notified and should be there soon. Are you somewhere safe?” “Oh gee! I’m in a massive school with echoing hallways and a killer on the loose. I sure do feel safe! Not.” “It is important that you remain calm and think clearly in—” “Oh wow! What great advice! I’ll be sure to remember that as I’m being stabbed to death.” “I’m just trying to keep you safe until the authorities get there. I understand that this is a very harrowing experience for you, but yelling at me won’t keep you alive.” “...You’re right, sorry. I’m in the biology lab on the second floor. I was doing a makeup experiment that I missed because of those stupid friendship games.” “Can you make it to the first floor?” “Wow, what a great question! If I could do that—” “I am trying to help.” “Right, right. Ugh, this sucks. I, like, probably could, but I don’t—” Bang. “Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!” “Hello, what’s happening? ...Hello? … Ms?” “They’re in the lab room.” “And where are you?” “Hiding in one of the storage closets.” “Can you reach a window and get out that way?” “Wow, what a great suggestion! Instead of being stabbed to death, I can fall to death!” “Can you reach a window?” “Ugh, yes, but because of that one dumb mandate, they’re gated off. Even if I could break the glass, the iron grill over the frame would stop me from reaching the ground.” “Alright. What about the door?” “Are you—!” “Is she nearby? Can you slip out one of the back doors?” “No, she’s— wait, she? Why ‘she’?” “A serial killer can’t be a woman?” “Ugh, yeah, duh. Knives aren’t gendered, but how do you know it’s a woman? I don’t even know if it's a woman.” “I just used a random—” “And serial killer? That’s a bit of a leap for some rando loser in a school!” “Sour Sweet. I need you to—” “How do you know my name?!” “Your call display—” “My call display is disabled. You cannot have that. Also, why didn’t you ask for that from the beginning?” “Listen. I am trying to—” “No! When is the police getting here?!” “They’re on their way. I need you to try and get out—” “Oh, yeah! The operator sitting comfy in her little cubicle on the phone is telling the scared teenage girl to go out into the room with a killer and try to escape! Must be nice.” “You are being—” “What? Being what?! I’m in danger! You’re not helping me. I’m staying in this stupid chem storage until I get actual help!” “...You get all that Lyra?” “Sure did Bon Bon!” “What?! Who is—Ahhhhh!” “...She was annoying.” “Yeah, but like we knew that going in. Wowie, Bonnie. Wish you could see this. She had one heck of a mouth, but left quite a splatter! “Gross.” “You know you’re into it. It’s sooo pretty. You’re also, like, so great at this. This was an amazing idea.” “Of course it was. I came up with it. Though, I’m going to do some research for the next one to ensure they don’t catch on as fast. Do you need to charge anything?” “Nah, my phone and earbuds are good to go. You got a new target picked out?” “Yeah. Texting it to you now.” “... Oh, Bonnie. You are messed up!” “No worse than you. Let me know when you get started and I’ll make sure to take the call when it comes in.” “Sure will. Love you, Bon Bon~” “Love you too, Lyra.” I’m Trapped in the Barn!“And there’s some guy outside with a knife!” “Where are you?” “Sweet Apple Acres.” “And your name?” “Big Mac.” “Okay, Big Mac. I’ve notified the police. They’re on the way. What’s your current situation?” “Aye blocked the door with some hay bales. They ain’t getting through that.” “Do you know where they are right now?” “Eenope.” “Do you have any other avenues of escape?” “Shouldn’t I stay put until the cops get ’ere?” “No. You don’t know what this person is capable of. Can you get out?” “There’s a window on ma right.” “Alright, look outside and see if the coast is clear.” “Eeyup. Looks—” “Surprise!” “Ahhh!” “Big Mac! What happened?!” “T-they were right outside the window. Swiped at me with the knife. T-they— I-I want ma granny.” “Calm down, Big Mac. We’re gonna get you out of this. I need you to keep a level head. Can you do that for me?” “E-eeyup. I can, Miss.” “Okay. Are you hurt?” “Eeyup. Nicked ma cheek with ‘er blade.” “Do you have any medical supplies inside?” “Eenope.” “Any safety equipment? Masks? Fire Extinguishers?” “Eenope.” “...” “...Miss?” “Sorry. I was just double checking something. What did you do with the window?” “I slammed it in their face. Latched it up tight. It’s… huh?” “What is it, Big Mac?” “There’s some weird foam thing in the crack.” “Can you provide a description of it?” “It’s, uh, yellowish and stiff? Looks like the kinda stuff ya use for buildin’ houses.” “That’s concerning, but nothing can be done about it now. Let’s try and get you out of there first. Are there any other first floor windows?” “Eenope.” “Is there another way out?” “The loft has a window out.” “Can you get there?” “Eeyup.” “Is there a ladder to get down?” “Right up against the barn wall.” “Alright. Go there and see if you can escape that way.” “Eeyup… thank ya kindly for yer help, Miss.” “You’re welcome, Big Mac.” Creak. Creak. Creak. “What’s your status, Big Mac?” “Got up to the second floor. Just— Ahhh!” “Hello again~!” “Big Mac?” “No, no, no! Stay away!” “Big Mac!” “They’re here, Miss! They’re— huh?” “What is it?” “...They ain’t comin’ in. Just closed the window and… more of that foam… Can’t open the window anymore. Why’d they do that?” “I’m not sure. Are there any other routes out?” “Eenope. That was the last one. I-I’m trapped. When are the police gonna get here?” “Soon. And you’re sure about that?” “E-eeyup.” “...Then I guess it’s the end.” “Huh? Whaddya—” cough, cough, cough ” —T-there’s smoke?” “I told you, Mac. You shouldn’t have stayed there.” “Cuz that’s how you get burnt!” “Wha—” cough, cough, cough “Who’s that?!” “The killer! I threw some oil onto the barn and lit it up with a match! Went up in smoke reeeal fast!” “Good work. It looks beautiful from here.” “You—” cough, cough, cough “—this the whole time?” “Eeyup~! Hahaha! Ms. Operator here came up with the whole thing! And now, you’re gonna go up in smoke, big guy! Thanks for being a good sport about this!” “W-why?! How could—” cough, cough, cough “ —A-AJ?! B-Bloom? G-Granny?!” “You spoil me so much.” “Aw. Anything for you~!” “M-mom, d-dad. I-I’m—” cough, cough, cough. “—h-help! I-I don’t— Ahhhhhhhhhhh—!” “Dang. Never knew, Big Mac was such a screamer.” “It’s always the quiet ones. Do you need anything before we move onto the next one?” “Eenope~! Got someone in mind?” “Yeah. I’ll send the info to you now.” I’m Stuck in Jail“And my girlfriend still hasn’t come to pick me up.” “I’m sorry to hear that. Where are you now?” “Downtown Canterlot Police Jail. Cell 2.” “And who is this?” “Best girl Lyra~” “Debatable.” “Aw, Bonnie!” “Kidding, Lyra. Are you away from the cell window?” “‘Course.” “Cover your ears.” Boom! “Wooo! Bonnie, that was incredible.” “I knew you would enjoy that. Make sure to lose your tails before meeting up with me at our special spot.” “Will do, Bon Bon! See you soon~!” “See you soon, Lyra. Love you.” “Love you too~!”
I’m Running Down an Alleyway!“And there’s a killer after me!” “Okay. Where are you?” “I am in the alleyway off of Main Street. The Twist as it is commonly called.” “That is a large stretch of area to cover. Do you know which end you’re on?” “No! I have just been running and—” “That’s fine. We’ll get you out of there. What’s your name?” “Octavia.” “Alright, Octavia. I’ll bring up an overhead map to help you.” “Please hurry!” “...Okay, I have it open. Do you see any major landmarks nearby?” “No, I— wait! I think I recognize that store!” “Which one?” “I don’t know! It is from the back and I do not normally take this route.” “Do you see a light on?” “There could not possibly be anyone in there at this time of night!” “Someone could be working late. Try knocking on the door.” “I do not see the point, but fine.” Knock. Knock. Knock. “No one answered.” “...” “Hello? Operator?” “...Yes. Do you have another way forward?” “Of course, I— Ahhh!” “Octavia?!” “No, no! Get back you ruffian!” “Octavia? What’s happening?” “Wow! You’re really agile aren’t you?!” “More than you!” “Is the killer there?!” “...” “...” “...” “...Ms. Operator?” “Octavia! I’m glad to hear from you.” “Yes, I— It was close. Far too close for comfort. Do you have a time estimate on when the police will arrive?” “They should be there soon. Do you know where you are?” “Yes. I am more familiar with this part of the Twist. I can see Carousel Boutique across the street.” “Good to hear, Octavia. Just make your way out of the alley and the police will meet you there.” “...Why am I hearing you twice?” “That’s because I’m right next to you.” “Wha—?!” Clang. Crunch. “...Damn, Bonnie. What a swing!” “...You can’t have all the fun, Lyra. Did the knocking help?” “Yep~! Let me track her down reeeal fast. You’d think they would learn to be quieter when a killer is chasing after them.” “They never do. One more target for the evening to close things off?” “Oooh! You’re such a flirt, Bonnie. You know just what to say to make me happy.” “Anything for you, Lyra. Now, let’s get moving. Our window of opportunity before daylight comes is short.”
The Great and Powerful Trixie is Being Threatened!“With a knife! And tacky taste in clothing!” “Where are you?” “Trixie is at Canterlot High.” “Isn’t it kinda la—” “It is difficult to find places to practice Trixie’s great and powerful tricks that do not cost Trixie more noise complaint fines!” “And what’s your name?” “The Greeeat and Pooowerful Trixie!” “...Was the trill necessary?” “Yes!” “...Right. The police have been contacted with your location. They should be there shortly.” “Trixie is not worried about that! Trixie needs direction on how to get out of Canterlot High!” “Wait? Why are—” “That doesn’t matter. Trixie needs help!” “Okay. Where is your exact position?” “Trixie is on the roof. How does she get down?” “I meant to ask, but why are you speaking in the third person?” “It’s Trixie’s coping mechanism! Stop victim shaming Trixie!” “Sorry. Can you see the fire escape nearby?” “Yes, Trixie— No!” “What’s wrong?!” “The ladder has been busted! Trixie blames Sunset Shimmer.” “Who? Also, why?” “Trixie’s good friend and classmate who is due for another bad girl streak.” “Would it not be more reasonable to presume the killer did it…?” “Trixie prefers her interpretation.” “That— Okay. Are there any other ways down? A lower roof? Handholds?” “Trixie is many things, but she is not a mountain goat. Sooo, no.” “So, you’re trapped on the roof?” “Yes.” “With no way down?” “Yes!” “Then that’s game, Lyra.” “Thanks, Bonnie~!” “What?!” “Honestly, a bit of a let down compared to the others.” “Yeah, this was sooo easy~!” “Who is this?! What does— Ahhh! The tacky killer!” “Okay, now that’s just rude.” “Yeah! It’s not Bonnie’s fault that she has no fashion sense!” “Lyra!” “Look. She’s got a point. We’ll workshop the outfit later. Now, Trixie. Time to— Ahhh!” “Haha! Trixie is saved. Beat ‘er butt!” “Lyra?! Lyra, what happened?!” “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will—” “Officer Armour?! What is— Trixie!” “Trixie is very glad for friend Twilight’s dad’s number!” “Brother. Trixie, I’m her brother.” “Okay, Twilight’s dad.” “Trix— Ugh. Doesn’t matter. Suspect has been detained. Who is this on the 911 line? State your ID.” “Cut the line, Bonnie!” “But—!” “We can’t both get caught!” “I want a call trace on the line!” “Okay, Lyra. Love you.” “Love you too, Bon Bon~!” “Dammit! I need someone to trace this now!” “See, this is why Trixie is best—” Static.
Someone is Trying Stab Me!“And they’re still here!” “Stay calm. Where are you?” “Crystal Prep. I’m hiding in one of the classrooms.” “Okay. The police have been notified and should be there soon. Are you somewhere safe?” “Oh gee! I’m in a massive school with echoing hallways and a killer on the loose. I sure do feel safe! Not.” “It is important that you remain calm and think clearly in—” “Oh wow! What great advice! I’ll be sure to remember that as I’m being stabbed to death.” “I’m just trying to keep you safe until the authorities get there. I understand that this is a very harrowing experience for you, but yelling at me won’t keep you alive.” “...You’re right, sorry. I’m in the biology lab on the second floor. I was doing a makeup experiment that I missed because of those stupid friendship games.” “Can you make it to the first floor?” “Wow, what a great question! If I could do that—” “I am trying to help.” “Right, right. Ugh, this sucks. I, like, probably could, but I don’t—” Bang. “Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!” “Hello, what’s happening? ...Hello? … Ms?” “They’re in the lab room.” “And where are you?” “Hiding in one of the storage closets.” “Can you reach a window and get out that way?” “Wow, what a great suggestion! Instead of being stabbed to death, I can fall to death!” “Can you reach a window?” “Ugh, yes, but because of that one dumb mandate, they’re gated off. Even if I could break the glass, the iron grill over the frame would stop me from reaching the ground.” “Alright. What about the door?” “Are you—!” “Is she nearby? Can you slip out one of the back doors?” “No, she’s— wait, she? Why ‘she’?” “A serial killer can’t be a woman?” “Ugh, yeah, duh. Knives aren’t gendered, but how do you know it’s a woman? I don’t even know if it's a woman.” “I just used a random—” “And serial killer? That’s a bit of a leap for some rando loser in a school!” “Sour Sweet. I need you to—” “How do you know my name?!” “Your call display—” “My call display is disabled. You cannot have that. Also, why didn’t you ask for that from the beginning?” “Listen. I am trying to—” “No! When is the police getting here?!” “They’re on their way. I need you to try and get out—” “Oh, yeah! The operator sitting comfy in her little cubicle on the phone is telling the scared teenage girl to go out into the room with a killer and try to escape! Must be nice.” “You are being—” “What? Being what?! I’m in danger! You’re not helping me. I’m staying in this stupid chem storage until I get actual help!” “...You get all that Lyra?” “Sure did Bon Bon!” “What?! Who is—Ahhhhh!” “...She was annoying.” “Yeah, but like we knew that going in. Wowie, Bonnie. Wish you could see this. She had one heck of a mouth, but left quite a splatter! “Gross.” “You know you’re into it. It’s sooo pretty. You’re also, like, so great at this. This was an amazing idea.” “Of course it was. I came up with it. Though, I’m going to do some research for the next one to ensure they don’t catch on as fast. Do you need to charge anything?” “Nah, my phone and earbuds are good to go. You got a new target picked out?” “Yeah. Texting it to you now.” “... Oh, Bonnie. You are messed up!” “No worse than you. Let me know when you get started and I’ll make sure to take the call when it comes in.” “Sure will. Love you, Bon Bon~” “Love you too, Lyra.”
I’m Trapped in the Barn!“And there’s some guy outside with a knife!” “Where are you?” “Sweet Apple Acres.” “And your name?” “Big Mac.” “Okay, Big Mac. I’ve notified the police. They’re on the way. What’s your current situation?” “Aye blocked the door with some hay bales. They ain’t getting through that.” “Do you know where they are right now?” “Eenope.” “Do you have any other avenues of escape?” “Shouldn’t I stay put until the cops get ’ere?” “No. You don’t know what this person is capable of. Can you get out?” “There’s a window on ma right.” “Alright, look outside and see if the coast is clear.” “Eeyup. Looks—” “Surprise!” “Ahhh!” “Big Mac! What happened?!” “T-they were right outside the window. Swiped at me with the knife. T-they— I-I want ma granny.” “Calm down, Big Mac. We’re gonna get you out of this. I need you to keep a level head. Can you do that for me?” “E-eeyup. I can, Miss.” “Okay. Are you hurt?” “Eeyup. Nicked ma cheek with ‘er blade.” “Do you have any medical supplies inside?” “Eenope.” “Any safety equipment? Masks? Fire Extinguishers?” “Eenope.” “...” “...Miss?” “Sorry. I was just double checking something. What did you do with the window?” “I slammed it in their face. Latched it up tight. It’s… huh?” “What is it, Big Mac?” “There’s some weird foam thing in the crack.” “Can you provide a description of it?” “It’s, uh, yellowish and stiff? Looks like the kinda stuff ya use for buildin’ houses.” “That’s concerning, but nothing can be done about it now. Let’s try and get you out of there first. Are there any other first floor windows?” “Eenope.” “Is there another way out?” “The loft has a window out.” “Can you get there?” “Eeyup.” “Is there a ladder to get down?” “Right up against the barn wall.” “Alright. Go there and see if you can escape that way.” “Eeyup… thank ya kindly for yer help, Miss.” “You’re welcome, Big Mac.” Creak. Creak. Creak. “What’s your status, Big Mac?” “Got up to the second floor. Just— Ahhh!” “Hello again~!” “Big Mac?” “No, no, no! Stay away!” “Big Mac!” “They’re here, Miss! They’re— huh?” “What is it?” “...They ain’t comin’ in. Just closed the window and… more of that foam… Can’t open the window anymore. Why’d they do that?” “I’m not sure. Are there any other routes out?” “Eenope. That was the last one. I-I’m trapped. When are the police gonna get here?” “Soon. And you’re sure about that?” “E-eeyup.” “...Then I guess it’s the end.” “Huh? Whaddya—” cough, cough, cough ” —T-there’s smoke?” “I told you, Mac. You shouldn’t have stayed there.” “Cuz that’s how you get burnt!” “Wha—” cough, cough, cough “Who’s that?!” “The killer! I threw some oil onto the barn and lit it up with a match! Went up in smoke reeeal fast!” “Good work. It looks beautiful from here.” “You—” cough, cough, cough “—this the whole time?” “Eeyup~! Hahaha! Ms. Operator here came up with the whole thing! And now, you’re gonna go up in smoke, big guy! Thanks for being a good sport about this!” “W-why?! How could—” cough, cough, cough “ —A-AJ?! B-Bloom? G-Granny?!” “You spoil me so much.” “Aw. Anything for you~!” “M-mom, d-dad. I-I’m—” cough, cough, cough. “—h-help! I-I don’t— Ahhhhhhhhhhh—!” “Dang. Never knew, Big Mac was such a screamer.” “It’s always the quiet ones. Do you need anything before we move onto the next one?” “Eenope~! Got someone in mind?” “Yeah. I’ll send the info to you now.”
I’m Stuck in Jail“And my girlfriend still hasn’t come to pick me up.” “I’m sorry to hear that. Where are you now?” “Downtown Canterlot Police Jail. Cell 2.” “And who is this?” “Best girl Lyra~” “Debatable.” “Aw, Bonnie!” “Kidding, Lyra. Are you away from the cell window?” “‘Course.” “Cover your ears.” Boom! “Wooo! Bonnie, that was incredible.” “I knew you would enjoy that. Make sure to lose your tails before meeting up with me at our special spot.” “Will do, Bon Bon! See you soon~!” “See you soon, Lyra. Love you.” “Love you too~!”
