This is 911. What’s Your Emergency?

“With a knife! And tacky taste in clothing!”

“Where are you?”

“Trixie is at Canterlot High.”

“Isn’t it kinda la—”

“It is difficult to find places to practice
Trixie’s great and powerful tricks that do
not cost Trixie more noise complaint fines!”

“And what’s your name?”

“The Greeeat and Pooowerful Trixie!”

“...Was the trill necessary?”

“Yes!”

“...Right. The police have been
contacted with your location. They
should be there shortly.”

“Trixie is not worried about that! Trixie
needs direction on how to get out of
Canterlot High!”

“Wait? Why are—”

“That doesn’t matter. Trixie needs help!”

“Okay. Where is your exact
position?”

“Trixie is on the roof. How does she get
down?”

“I meant to ask, but why are you
speaking in the third person?”

“It’s Trixie’s coping mechanism! Stop victim
shaming Trixie!”

“Sorry. Can you see the fire escape
nearby?”

“Yes, Trixie— No!”

“What’s wrong?!”

“The ladder has been busted! Trixie blames
Sunset Shimmer.”

“Who? Also, why?”

“Trixie’s good friend and classmate who is
due for another bad girl streak.”

“Would it not be more reasonable to
presume the killer did it…?”

“Trixie prefers her interpretation.”

“That— Okay. Are there any other ways
down? A lower roof? Handholds?”

“Trixie is many things, but she is not a mountain
goat. Sooo, no.”

“So, you’re trapped on the roof?”

“Yes.”

“With no way down?”

“Yes!”

“Then that’s game, Lyra.”

“Thanks, Bonnie~!”

“What?!”

“Honestly, a bit of a let down compared
to the others.”

“Yeah, this was sooo easy~!”

“Who is this?! What does— Ahhh! The tacky killer!”

“Okay, now that’s just rude.”

“Yeah! It’s not Bonnie’s fault that she
has no fashion sense!”

“Lyra!”

“Look. She’s got a point. We’ll workshop
the outfit later. Now, Trixie. Time to— Ahhh!”

“Haha! Trixie is saved. Beat ‘er butt!”

“Lyra?! Lyra, what happened?!”

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything
you say will—”

“Officer Armour?! What is— Trixie!”

“Trixie is very glad for friend Twilight’s dad’s
number!”

“Brother. Trixie, I’m her brother.”

“Okay, Twilight’s dad.”

“Trix— Ugh. Doesn’t matter. Suspect has been detained.
Who is this on the 911 line? State your ID.”

“Cut the line, Bonnie!”

“But—!”

“We can’t both get caught!”

“I want a call trace on the line!”

“Okay, Lyra. Love you.”

“Love you too, Bon Bon~!”

“Dammit! I need someone to trace this now!”

“See, this is why Trixie is best—”

Static.