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            This is 911. What’s Your Emergency?            
                      -by daOtterGuy-                      
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               I’m Running Down an Alleyway!               
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I’m Running Down an Alleyway!
“And there’s a killer after me!”
“Okay. Where are you?”
“I am in the alleyway off of Main   
Street. The Twist as it is commonly   
called.”
“That is a large stretch of area to   
cover. Do you know which end you’re   
on?”
“No! I have just been running and—”
“That’s fine. We’ll get you out of   
there. What’s your name?”
“Octavia.”
“Alright, Octavia. I’ll bring up an   
overhead map to help you.”
“Please hurry!”
“...Okay, I have it open. Do you   
see any major landmarks nearby?”
“No, I— wait! I think I recognize that   
store!”
“Which one?”
“I don’t know! It is from the back and   
I do not normally take this route.”
“Do you see a light on?”
“There could not possibly be anyone in   
there at this time of night!”
“Someone could be working late.   
Try knocking on the door.”
“I do not see the point, but fine.”
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“No one answered.”
“...”
“Hello? Operator?”
“...Yes. Do you have another way   
forward?”
“Of course, I— Ahhh!”
“Octavia?!”
“No, no! Get back you ruffian!”
“Octavia? What’s happening?”
“Wow! You’re really agile aren’t   
you?!”
“More than you!”
“Is the killer there?!”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...Ms. Operator?”
“Octavia! I’m glad to hear from   
you.”
“Yes, I— It was close. Far too close for   
comfort. Do you have a time estimate on   
when the police will arrive?”
“They should be there soon. Do you   
know where you are?”
“Yes. I am more familiar with this part of the   
Twist. I can see Carousel Boutique across   
the street.”
“Good to hear, Octavia. Just make your   
way out of the alley and the police will meet   
you there.”
“...Why am I hearing you twice?”
“That’s because I’m right next to you.”
“Wha—?!”
Clang. Crunch.
“...Damn, Bonnie. What a swing!”
“...You can’t have all the fun, Lyra.   
Did the knocking help?”
“Yep~! Let me track her down reeeal fast.   
You’d think they would learn to be quieter when   
a killer is chasing after them.”
“They never do. One more target for the   
evening to close things off?”
“Oooh! You’re such a flirt, Bonnie. You   
know just what to say to make me happy.”
“Anything for you, Lyra. Now, let’s get moving.   
Our window of opportunity before daylight comes   
is short.”

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    The Great and Powerful Trixie is Being Threatened!     
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The Great and Powerful Trixie is Being Threatened!
“With a knife! And tacky taste in clothing!”
“Where are you?”
“Trixie is at Canterlot High.”
“Isn’t it kinda la—”
“It is difficult to find places to practice   
Trixie’s great and powerful tricks that do   
not cost Trixie more noise complaint fines!”
“And what’s your name?”
“The Greeeat and Pooowerful Trixie!”
“...Was the trill necessary?”
“Yes!”
“...Right. The police have been   
contacted with your location. They   
should be there shortly.”
“Trixie is not worried about that! Trixie   
needs direction on how to get out of   
Canterlot High!”
“Wait? Why are—”
“That doesn’t matter. Trixie needs help!”
“Okay. Where is your exact   
position?”
“Trixie is on the roof. How does she get   
down?”
“I meant to ask, but why are you   
speaking in the third person?”
“It’s Trixie’s coping mechanism! Stop victim   
shaming Trixie!”
“Sorry. Can you see the fire escape   
nearby?”
“Yes, Trixie— No!”
“What’s wrong?!”
“The ladder has been busted! Trixie blames   
Sunset Shimmer.”
“Who? Also, why?”
“Trixie’s good friend and classmate who is   
due for another bad girl streak.”
“Would it not be more reasonable to   
presume the killer did it…?”
“Trixie prefers her interpretation.”
“That— Okay. Are there any other ways   
down? A lower roof? Handholds?”
“Trixie is many things, but she is not a mountain   
goat. Sooo, no.”
“So, you’re trapped on the roof?”
“Yes.”
“With no way down?”
“Yes!”
“Then that’s game, Lyra.”
“Thanks, Bonnie~!”
“What?!”
“Honestly, a bit of a let down compared   
to the others.”
“Yeah, this was sooo easy~!”
“Who is this?! What does— Ahhh! The tacky killer!”
“Okay, now that’s just rude.”
“Yeah! It’s not Bonnie’s fault that she   
has no fashion sense!”
“Lyra!”
“Look. She’s got a point. We’ll workshop   
the outfit later. Now, Trixie. Time to— Ahhh!”
“Haha! Trixie is saved. Beat ‘er butt!”
“Lyra?! Lyra, what happened?!”
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything   
you say will—”
“Officer Armour?! What is— Trixie!”
“Trixie is very glad for friend Twilight’s dad’s   
number!”
“Brother. Trixie, I’m her brother.”
“Okay, Twilight’s dad.”
“Trix— Ugh. Doesn’t matter. Suspect has been detained.   
Who is this on the 911 line? State your ID.”
“Cut the line, Bonnie!”
“But—!”
“We can’t both get caught!”
“I want a call trace on the line!”
“Okay, Lyra. Love you.”
“Love you too, Bon Bon~!”
“Dammit! I need someone to trace this now!”
“See, this is why Trixie is best—”
Static.

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                Someone is Trying Stab Me!                 
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Someone is Trying Stab Me!
“And they’re still here!”
“Stay calm. Where are you?”
“Crystal Prep. I’m hiding in one of the classrooms.”
“Okay. The police have been notified and   
should be there soon. Are you somewhere safe?”
“Oh gee! I’m in a massive school with echoing   
hallways and a killer on the loose. I sure do feel   
safe! Not.”
“It is important that you remain calm and   
think clearly in—”
“Oh wow! What great advice! I’ll be sure to   
remember that as I’m being stabbed to death.”
“I’m just trying to keep you safe until the   
authorities get there. I understand that this is   
a very harrowing experience for you, but   
yelling at me won’t keep you alive.”
“...You’re right, sorry. I’m in the biology lab on   
the second floor. I was doing a makeup   
experiment that I missed because of those   
stupid friendship games.”
“Can you make it to the first floor?”
“Wow, what a great question! If I could do   
that—”
“I am trying to help.”
“Right, right. Ugh, this sucks. I, like,   
probably could, but I don’t—”
Bang.
“Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!”
“Hello, what’s happening?   
...Hello? … Ms?”
“They’re in the lab room.”
“And where are you?”
“Hiding in one of the storage closets.”
“Can you reach a window and get   
out that way?”
“Wow, what a great suggestion! Instead of   
being stabbed to death, I can fall to   
death!”
“Can you reach a window?”
“Ugh, yes, but because of that one dumb   
mandate, they’re gated off. Even if I could   
break the glass, the iron grill over the frame   
would stop me from reaching the ground.”
“Alright. What about the door?”
“Are you—!”
“Is she nearby? Can you slip out one   
of the back doors?”
“No, she’s— wait, she? Why ‘she’?”
“A serial killer can’t be a woman?”
“Ugh, yeah, duh. Knives aren’t gendered,   
but how do you know it’s a woman? I don’t   
even know if it's a woman.”
“I just used a random—”
“And serial killer? That’s a bit of a leap   
for some rando loser in a school!”
“Sour Sweet. I need you to—”
“How do you know my name?!”
“Your call display—”
“My call display is disabled. You   
cannot have that. Also, why didn’t you   
ask for that from the beginning?”
“Listen. I am trying to—”
“No! When is the police getting here?!”
“They’re on their way. I need you   
to try and get out—”
“Oh, yeah! The operator sitting comfy in   
her little cubicle on the phone is telling the   
scared teenage girl to go out into the room   
with a killer and try to escape! Must be   
nice.”
“You are being—”
“What? Being what?! I’m in danger! You’re   
not helping me. I’m staying in this stupid   
chem storage until I get actual help!”
“...You get all that Lyra?”
“Sure did Bon Bon!”
“What?! Who is—Ahhhhh!”
“...She was annoying.”
“Yeah, but like we knew that going in.   
Wowie, Bonnie. Wish you could see this. She   
had one heck of a mouth, but left quite a   
splatter!
“Gross.”
“You know you’re into it. It’s sooo   
pretty. You’re also, like, so great at this. This   
was an amazing idea.”
“Of course it was. I came up with it.   
Though, I’m going to do some research for   
the next one to ensure they don’t catch on   
as fast. Do you need to charge anything?”
“Nah, my phone and earbuds are   
good to go. You got a new target picked   
out?”
“Yeah. Texting it to you now.”
“... Oh, Bonnie. You are messed up!”
“No worse than you. Let me know when   
you get started and I’ll make sure to take the   
call when it comes in.”
“Sure will. Love you, Bon Bon~”
“Love you too, Lyra.”

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                 I’m Trapped in the Barn!                  
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I’m Trapped in the Barn!
“And there’s some guy outside with a   
knife!”
“Where are you?”
“Sweet Apple Acres.”
“And your name?”
“Big Mac.”
“Okay, Big Mac. I’ve notified the   
police. They’re on the way. What’s your   
current situation?”
“Aye blocked the door with some hay   
bales. They ain’t getting through that.”
“Do you know where they are   
right now?”
“Eenope.”
“Do you have any other avenues   
of escape?”
“Shouldn’t I stay put until the cops   
get ’ere?”
“No. You don’t know what this   
person is capable of. Can you get out?”
“There’s a window on ma right.”
“Alright, look outside and see if   
the coast is clear.”
“Eeyup. Looks—”
“Surprise!”
“Ahhh!”
“Big Mac! What happened?!”
“T-they were right outside the window.   
Swiped at me with the knife. T-they—  
I-I want ma granny.”
“Calm down, Big Mac. We’re gonna   
get you out of this. I need you to keep a   
level head. Can you do that for me?”
“E-eeyup. I can, Miss.”
“Okay. Are you hurt?”
“Eeyup. Nicked ma cheek with ‘er blade.”
“Do you have any medical supplies   
inside?”
“Eenope.”
“Any safety equipment? Masks? Fire   
Extinguishers?”
“Eenope.”
“...”
“...Miss?”
“Sorry. I was just double checking   
something. What did you do with the   
window?”
“I slammed it in their face. Latched it up   
tight. It’s… huh?”
“What is it, Big Mac?”
“There’s some weird foam thing in the   
crack.”
“Can you provide a description of it?”
“It’s, uh, yellowish and stiff? Looks like the   
kinda stuff ya use for buildin’ houses.”
“That’s concerning, but nothing can be   
done about it now. Let’s try and get you out of   
there first. Are there any other first floor   
windows?”
“Eenope.”
“Is there another way out?”
“The loft has a window out.”
“Can you get there?”
“Eeyup.”
“Is there a ladder to get down?”
“Right up against the barn wall.”
“Alright. Go there and see if you   
can escape that way.”
“Eeyup… thank ya kindly for yer   
help, Miss.”
“You’re welcome, Big Mac.”
Creak. Creak. Creak.
“What’s your status, Big Mac?”
“Got up to the second floor.   
Just— Ahhh!”
“Hello again~!”
“Big Mac?”
“No, no, no! Stay away!”
“Big Mac!”
“They’re here, Miss! They’re— huh?”
“What is it?”
“...They ain’t comin’ in. Just closed the   
window and… more of that foam… Can’t   
open the window anymore. Why’d they   
do that?”
“I’m not sure. Are there any other   
routes out?”
“Eenope. That was the last one. I-I’m   
trapped. When are the police gonna get here?”
“Soon. And you’re sure about that?”
“E-eeyup.”
“...Then I guess it’s the end.”
“Huh? Whaddya—” cough, cough, cough ”  
—T-there’s smoke?”
“I told you, Mac. You shouldn’t have stayed   
there.”
“Cuz that’s how you get burnt!”
“Wha—” cough, cough, cough “Who’s that?!”
“The killer! I threw some oil onto the barn   
and lit it up with a match! Went up in smoke   
reeeal fast!”
“Good work. It looks beautiful from here.”
“You—” cough, cough, cough “—this the whole   
time?”
“Eeyup~! Hahaha! Ms. Operator here came   
up with the whole thing! And now, you’re gonna go   
up in smoke, big guy! Thanks for being a good sport   
about this!”
“W-why?! How could—” cough, cough, cough “  
—A-AJ?! B-Bloom? G-Granny?!”
“You spoil me so much.”
“Aw. Anything for you~!”
“M-mom, d-dad. I-I’m—” cough, cough, cough.   
“—h-help! I-I don’t— Ahhhhhhhhhhh—!”
“Dang. Never knew, Big Mac was such a   
screamer.”
“It’s always the quiet ones. Do you need anything   
before we move onto the next one?”
“Eenope~! Got someone in mind?”
“Yeah. I’ll send the info to you now.”

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                     I’m Stuck in Jail                     
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I’m Stuck in Jail
“And my girlfriend still hasn’t   
come to pick me up.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Where   
are you now?”
“Downtown Canterlot Police   
Jail. Cell 2.”
“And who is this?”
“Best girl Lyra~”
“Debatable.”
“Aw, Bonnie!”
“Kidding, Lyra. Are you away from   
the cell window?”
“‘Course.”
“Cover your ears.”
Boom!
“Wooo! Bonnie, that was   
incredible.”
“I knew you would enjoy that. Make   
sure to lose your tails before meeting up   
with me at our special spot.”
“Will do, Bon Bon! See you soon~!”
“See you soon, Lyra. Love you.”
“Love you too~!”