I Repeat: This is ONLY a Test

by marmalado

Rating: teen
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Death, Other, Equestria Girls, Mystery, Horror
Length: 1174

The Human World Emergency Alert System is tested for the very first time, in spite of its many technical flaws -- flaws that would completely hinder relaying an actual emergency.

The HWEAS -- otherwise known as the Human World Emergency Alert System -- will provide timely warnings, in cooperation with state and local authorities to keep you informed in the event of an emergency.

Please do not panic.

This is only a te-

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Cover art is of a 2011 Comcast EAS screen as seen here.

This story is an entry into the third Thousand Words Contest, under the Experimental category.

Published 2024-06-30 22:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-30 22:10:00 UTC

We Interrupt This Program...

"Hello! Welcome to today's show. We'll be making some chicken spring rolls drizzled with a nice glaze of honey-"

...

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[Attention signal -- 1813 Hz]

This is the Government of Equestria with a coordinated nationwide test of the Human World Emergency Alert System. This is only a test. I repeat, this is only a test. This test message has been initiated by national, state, and local authorities in involuntary cooperation with the National Organization of Communications, or NOC. Again, this is only a test. Please do not take action based on this message, as doing so may lead to harm against others and possible criminal charges. There is no actual emergency occurring at this time. I repeat, there is no actual emergency occurring at this time.

Thank you for-

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"Coming up next on Canterlot News right after Casual Chatteries: tensions begin to gro-"

...

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[Attention signal -- 1813 Hz]

We interrupt this program at the request of the Canterlot Police Department. Riots of an unknown cause are occurring in the downtown area. Residents are advised to stay away lest they receive serious injuries. Police have been dispatched to the riots and will arrest those responsible accordingly. This is a test message. I repeat, this is a test message. Do not take action based on this messa-

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"We would like to...apologize for the outrage caused by our faulty equipment. The public warning system is still new territory, but rest assured we-"

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[Attention signal -- 1813 Hz]

The following is a...message from the Withering Heights Emergency Management Agency. You need to- oh shit! You...m-my name is Grey. Evacuate. Evacuate the city, now. Go somewhere safe. This is not a test me-

THIS IS A TEST MESSAGE. DO NOT TAKE ACTION BASED ON THIS MESSAGE.

No! I...fuck...this endec, it- ugh, never mind the endec! Evacuate! There's something giant and massive in the city. Person-shaped. Made out of black...stuff. It's dangerous. F-for this reason, we've activated a Civil Danger Warning. That means...there is a threat to the life and safety of those in an affected area.

Leave. Please. The girls-

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Hey, Twilight. I'm writing this quickly, so sorry if it looks illegible, but there's this sort of...monster roaming through the city. At least I think it's a monster. It's mostly just stomping through the Human World with no regard for any life below its pointy feet. Attempts to try and talk to it have been unsuccessful, but we're pretty sure it's made out of Equestrian magic.

I'm writing this as a sort of goodbye, because we're all in agreement that this is probably our biggest fight yet. Fluttershy in particular is worried we're all gonna die, and I gotta be honest...I'm kind of starting to think she has a point. At least the villains we've fought were somewhat coherent. They looked and acted like human beings. Not good human beings, but still. This is just some kind of abomination that's taking the shape of a person.

If I don't make it back -- and believe me, that's a strong "if" -- then I want you to know that you've been a terrific friend.

The HWEAS is going off again. Civil Danger Warning for Canterlot. Guess that's my cue.

Thanks. For everything.

Best of luck to you, and to your friends.

At the End

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[Attention signal -- 1813 Hz]

Hello? Is this...it's working? Thank goodness. Um...m-my name is Twilight Sparkle. Not the human one, the pony princess one. I bring you this message from the Government of Equestria. N-not my Equestria, but yours.

I only have a short amount of time, so if anyone's out there, please listen. There's a rampaging being on the loose that has...turned people violent. Ruined countless cities. From my extensive research, it seems its goal is to destroy the world, ridding it of the things that make it bountiful. There is nothing that anyone can do to stop it -- Sunset and the girls, as well as my friends and I, have all tried to no avail. One group is...they...

...I-I'm sorry. I had to take a moment to cry. Oh, this is awful...

B-but anyway. I need anyone who is listening to evacuate, not just your homes and towns, but the planet, by any means possible. The Government of Equestria has given up. I am issuing this...Emergency Action Notification? Is that what it's called? Yes, this Emergency Action Notification to tell you to evacuate. This is not a test.

THIS IS A TEST MESSAGE. DO NOT TAKE ACTION BASED ON THIS MESSAGE.

...Uh...that was...weird. Guess this thing isn't working right. But anyway, this isn't a test-

THIS IS A TEST MESSAGE. DO NOT TAKE ACTION BASED ON THIS MESSAGE.

Ugh. You should get the gist. Look, the point I'm trying to make is that this thing is coming, and if you don't leave the planet, you're as good as dead. I've taken precautions to make sure it doesn't go into my world, but your world is not safe.

We tried.

We failed.

And I'm sorry.

As of now, I don't know where the thing is. I don't know if this message can get to any other countries. But I need to make up for my fa-

...Oh no. There's...some kind of rumbling outside. Screeching. It's faint, but I can hear it. Is...I think it's the end of the world. I think...maybe...no, it's definitely it. The thing is eating the planet! It's- please, someone, anyone, if you're hearing this...

If you're hearing this...

You need to make the most of your final moments.

On behalf of Sunset and the others...the Government of Equestria...the world's rulers...

May your god, or gods, save you all as you travel to the afterlife.

In regards to this alert, I will now...cease transmi-

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THIS IS THE HWEAS DETAILS CHANNEL.

T̶H̴I̷S̵ ̷I̵S̶ ̶T̸H̶E̸ ̵H̸W̷E̸A̷S̷ ̵D̸E̵T̵A̸I̷L̵S̶ ̵C̵H̵A̴N̸N̴E̶L̷.̸

T̵̗̀͜H̷̜̣̓͠I̷̡̦̒͗S̴̢͂ ̶̘͑̕I̶̺͋̉S̵̜̘̔ ̵̰͠T̷̨͠H̷͎̕E̶̝͐̓ ̷̤̈́Ḩ̵̅W̵͈͖̒È̵̪͓̀Á̵̮S̸̨̽̎ ̴̼̍D̷̦̘̔E̶̲͐T̴̟̔̈́A̸̛͙͈Ì̸̧̥L̶̨͌͆S̸̗̐͠ ̵͇́Ç̸̭̈̈Ḧ̵̨͚͝Ą̴̹͛Ṅ̶̖N̸̹̲͌̚E̷̯͂̏Ḽ̷͗̊.̷͙̙̓̐

Author's Note

I had originally wanted to submit this to the third run of the Science Fiction Contest, but had no idea whether the EAS as a concept qualified as science fiction. (It's also why I neglected to put the Sci-Fi tag on this story -- it isn't about the logistics behind the EAS; it's about the EAS activations in and of themselves.)

At the time of this A/N writing, I haven't even begun to binge EqG, but figured a story about a public warning system fit more in that world (where TVs and phones are both the norm) than in G5 (phones seem more like the norm, though TVs do exist) or G4 (phones and TVs don't exist yet).

I used the fixed format listed on the Wikipedia page for SAME, tweaked to save my brain cells and my sanity from melting in trying to figure out what went where.