Are you sure she said that?
Spike always adored his “me time.” Just kick back in a chair under the warm sun while enjoying his bowl of delectable gems/cup of cold fruit juice combo.
But his Earth dog alternate self joining in for the first time, in a second chair and with his own bowl of gems and cup of juice, elevated the meaning of “me time” to “our time.”
“This is the life, isn’t it, Brother?” Equestrian Spike asked.
“You said it, Brother, and you were right about gems. Either I’ve been missing out or I just have a dragon appetite as a, well, dragon.” He scooped up some gems from his bowl, but they fell through his claws’ grip and back into their bowl. “Ugh, still getting used to how these claw-fingers move.”
“Once you do, you’re going to miss having them once you’re a dog again. Just like how Twilight – well my Twilight – missed having human fingers after she got used to them as a human.”
*Poof!*
The surroundings switched from being outside the Castle of Friendship to the inside of its library. The Spikes' bodies floated gently to the floor, seemingly moving on their own accord. They caught a glimpse of a lavender figure right before it vanished in a poof of magic.
Both Spikes groaned. They knew a Twilight Sparkle freak-out when they saw one.
“So, your Twilight has freak-outs too, huh?” Earth Spike asked.
“Yep. I wonder what she's panicking about this time or why she wanted us back in the castle.”
“I guess we are destined to have a panic-prone Twilight Sparkle in our lives no matter our world or species. Even if your Twilight doesn’t freak out as badly as my–”
“Wait, you think your Twilight’s freak-outs are worse than my Twilight’s?” Equestrian Spike let out a hearty laugh. “There’s no way yours can outdo mine in the art of the freak-out.”
“How? Your Twilight is a revered pony princess and mine is a dorky human girl.”
“But even her worst won’t compare to the time my Twi–”
Princess Twilight poofed into the library, holding two Raritys – both wearing matching glittering blue dresses – two Rainbow Dashes, and two Applejacks in her magic. She dropped them onto the crystal floor on their stomachs, causing them to grunt from pain on impact, then poofed away.
“Um, what just happened?” The Rarity born from Earth turned her head side to side to survey her new sudden surroundings. “How did I go from my other self’s boutique to here? Did we teleport here somehow?”
“How I’m here is what I was about to ask! My awesome pony self was giving me some sweet flying lessons, then boom! Here we are ‘meeting’ this floor!”
Equestrian Rainbow gave “herself” a friendly wink. “Hey, it takes awesome to know awesome, my awesome human self. You may be too sca–uh, that is, don’t feel like trying to fly too high, but you got the hang of flying even quicker than Princess Eggh–”
“Rainbows, Ah’m cuttin’ in before y’all make yer egos too big for both our worlds,” Equestrian Applejack said. “Anyway, it looks like Twilight – the alicorn one – teleported us here, but it beats me why.” She turned to her counterpart. “All Ah was doing was telling my human self about how my apples are probably bigger than hers–”
Princess Twilight teleported back in with two Pinkie Pies wearing a white chef’s hat and two Fluttershys, dropped them on their stomachs – making them grunt as they hit the floor – and teleported away again.
“Huh?” Earth Fluttershy stared in one direction after another in bewilderment. “Where did ‘Harry’ go? How did we get back to–”
In another “poof”, Princess Twilight returned with her teenage counterpart and Sunset Shimmer, and lightly set them to the floor, hooves-first.
“Of course she’d be less rough with herself,” Equestrian Rainbow quipped. Afterward, the ponies and human-turned-ponies forced themselves to their hooves. The latter group stood up more slowly and with a few unbalanced wobbles mixed in, though Earth Pinkie reached her hooves as smoothly as her counterpart.
A baffled Sunset started, “Hey, why did you keep leaving Twilight and me–”
“Don’t talk, just listen! I’m about to look for the other world’s ‘Movie Mark Crusaders’ or whatever they call themselves–”
Earth Applejack asked, “Before you go fetch them, mind first tellin’ us why you rounded us up without a word?”
“You probably didn’t mean to, but did you really have to drop us?” Equestrian Fluttershy asked.
“As beautiful as your crystal floor is, being dropped on it hurts!” Earth Rarity looked down at her dress. “Besides, this dress my counterpart designed is far too fabulous to endure such rough treatment.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry about that! I was in such a hurry, I wasn’t aware that I might have been…dropping you. I’m usually more careful with how I handle others when I teleport them with me.”
“And you flatter me, Rarity, but I am sure you are capable of designing dresses as fabulous as mine.” Equestrian Rarity lifted her head in faith in her human self. “I may be a little older and have more experience–”
“Raritys, I hate to interrupt you two complimenting each other, but I need to tell you all something extremely important–wait. Everyone, if you were not born a pony or dragon and don’t share my name, raise a hoof or claw.”
The Earth-born visitors not named “Twilight” lifted a hoof or claw.
“I should have asked you to wear something to help tell you apart from your Equestrian selves. Anyway, while Sunset can stay if she wants, the rest of you must return to your world at once!” Princess Twilight zipped to her inactive portal to the human world and powered it on. “I completely forgot about it, but you can’t exist in the same world as your counterparts or it could be destroyed!”
Equestrian Spike pointed at Princess Twilight while smirking at his counterpart. “By the way, this freak-out is tamecompared to her masterpiece when she was still a unicorn.”
“You win.”
“Wait, why could Equestria be destroyed if they stay?” Equestrian Applejack asked.
“Because Princess Celestia said so. Don’t you remember when she warned it would ‘upset the balance’ if we all went through the portal the first time Spike and I used it?”
“What ‘balance’ was she even talking about?” Sunset asked.
“The universal balance I guess! What else could she have meant?”
Earth Pinkie said, “But it’s not like one of us is made of matter and the other antimatter that would blow us to smithereens if we high-five each other or something! Me and I even already high-fiv–uh, that is, pretty sure that’s not the case.”
Earth Rainbow’s lips waned in science-triggered confusion. “Antimatter? What’s that?”
Earth Twilight groaned while rolling her eyes. “Rainbow, our science class discussed antimatter two weeks ago. You really need to start paying more attention in our classes.”
“I can’t help it!” Earth Rainbow raised her forehooves in aggravation. “P.E. is great and art class is okay, but our other classes and especially science class are so borrrrring!”
“I know, right? I would fall asleep in my loyalty classes if I didn’t make them more fun, and I’m the teacher!”
Earth Rainbow pointed to her counterpart. “See? She gets it! With how much you love science, maybe we should call you ‘Sci-Twilight’ or ‘Sci-Twi’.”
“Oh, ha-ha–wait, ‘Sci-Twi’ actually sounds pretty good.” She smiled as she mused about Rainbow’s, albeit in jest, nickname suggestions. “‘Sci-Twilight’ is nice too, though I like ’Sci-Twi’ more. Uh, anyway, Princess Twilight, we’ll leave if you really think we should, but are you sure it’s necessary?” She pushed up her glasses. “However, hehe, not to brag, but from my quite impressive scientific knowledge for my age, two of the same individuals interacting, who aren’t even from different time periods, being hazardous is a science fiction trope with little hard real-life proof. One exception would be if you are made of matter and I antimatter or vice-versa, and even then, Equestria would be safe if we take care not to touch–”
“Yeah, I’m gonna prove we have nothing to worry about, and you had too long a dialogue.” Earth Pinkie faced Equestrian Pinkie. “Pony me, let’s give our ‘first’ high-five, or high-hoof since we’re ponies.”
The two Pinkies cheerfully five-hoofed.
“Take cover!” Princess Twilight dropped to the floor, pulled her Spike to her with magic, and wrapped her wings over him and herself. “If I had known this would happen, I would have finally asked out–uh, read more books today!”
Partly to humor their alicorn friend and also just in case her panicking would become justified, the others sans the Pinkies took refuge on the floor and braced themselves. “Sci-Twi” covered Earth Spike inside her forelegs as a further safeguard for the worst.
The castle shook, throwing books off bookshelves. Cracks split through the floor and ceiling. Interdimensional splits erupted in both Princess Twilight’s library and all over Ponyville. Then all over Equestria.
And then beyond Equestria. Ponies everywhere screamed in terror as space-time fell apart at the seams. A few managed to say “I love you” to their loved ones before they were sadly claimed by the tearing and collapsing of time and space. Eventually, the universe containing Equestria tore itself apart in a Big Rip.
…
Actually, I lied. None of that shaking, space-tearing, or Big Rip mumbo-jumbo transpired.
What the Pinkies’ high-hoof truly triggered was a grand total of absolutely nothing, save for striking panic in an alicorn.
“See? Equestria is still balanced and safe," Earth Pinkie said.
Equestrian Pinkie added, “Safe until the next villain shows up anyway.”
Princess Twilight uncovered Spike. Stupefaction overriding relief, she stood up and aimlessly wandered about; the others pushed themselves to their feet/hooves as well. “I…don’t understand. Princess Celestia warned there would be a grave imbalance if we interacted, let alone touch.”
Sunset asked, “Are you sure she said that?”
“Uh…” Princess Twilight laid a thought-ready hoof on her cheek. “Let me try to remember.”
‘Sending all of you could upset the balance of this alternate world, creating havoc that would make it impossible for Twilight to get her crown back from Sunset Shimmer. This is something Princess Twilight must do alone.’
“Okay, she said it–”
Earth Rainbow interrupted, “We all saw your thought bubble and heard everything: it would have created ‘havoc’, Sunset would have kept your crown when she was still evil – no offense, Sunset – yada yada.”
Earth Rarity asked, “And how did Princess Celestia’s and Princess Luna’s manes move so gracefully in the air? What I wouldn’t give for my hair to do that!”
“I believe it is because they are alicorns, but I concur wholeheartedly with your sentiment about their manes.” The equestrian fashionista flicked her mane, coaxing it to “flow” in the air for a good half-second. “My own mane would be even more fabulous if it acted like the Princesses’ manes.”
“Tee-hee, as if our taste in dresses didn't already prove we think alike about fashion matters.” The Earth fashionista looked over to Princess Twilight and her static mane. “But if self-flowing manes are unique to alicorns, why isn’t Princess Twilight’s mane doing it? Do alicorns need to be a certain age for it?”
“No idea.” Sunset grumpily sat down and crossed her forelegs. “Although I do know I’m filing to trademark that ‘no offense’ phrase once I’m back home.”
Sci-Twi said, “Uh, I’m not sure if it works the way you might thi–”
“Well, I’m gonna try anyway! I’m practically the poster girl for ‘no offense’ from hearing it so much, so why not take a shot at making it my trademark?”
“Um, back to what we heard in Princess Twilight’s thought bubble,” Earth Fluttershy said. “Why did Princess Celestia also talk about her not being able to get her crown back if she accidentally caused a universe-ending imbalance? Shouldn’t Princess Twilight dying along with our universe have been more important than a crown, even if it had that ‘Element of Harmony’ I believe it’s called?”
Equestrian Pinkie interjected. “In fact, winged Twilight, remember what you said when Applejack asked if we could tag along when you and Spike were about to help stop those sirens?”
“Uh…"
‘Better not. It could make things pretty confusing if Canterlot High all of a sudden had two of all of you.’
Earth Rainbow said, “Well, that was short.”
“And when I said that, I wasn’t even thinking about what Princess…oh, I understand now! When she said ‘upsetting the balance’, I think she meant from a social standpoint, not an apocalyptic one!” Princess Twilight’s cheeks reddened as a sheepish smile curled on her lips. “Hehe, I feel silly now. I panicked over nothing.”
“Again,” Earth Spike joked.
Equestrian Spike chuckled. ‘So that’s how I look when I say that to her.’
“Eh, non-silliness is overrated, so that’s why human me and I are almost always silly–” Equestrian Pinkie’s silliness-filled smile wilted. “–Uh-oh.”
“What?” Earth Applejack said.
“This story’s name is ‘The Kaboom’, so we might still be in trouble.”
Earth Pinkie sucked in a deep, alarmed gasp. “That’s right! Not even Pink is lazy enough to name this story ‘The Kaboom’ if there wouldn’t be a kaboom!”
“Uh, what?” all but the Pinkies asked in a deadpan tone.
“Who in Equestria is this ‘Pink’ and what ‘story’ are you talking about?” Princess Twilight asked. “We’re not in some lazy writer’s sto–”
“Haven’t any of you learned not to question us yet?” both Pinkies asked in unison. “Most of our fans have.”
Everyone/everypony glanced at one another. The Pinkies had a point.
“Fine,” Equestrian Rainbow said. “Then if this so-called ‘story’ needs a kaboom so bad, we could always burn the Twilights’ books while they watch. That would make those two blow up.”
Upon the “book” button being pressed, Princess Twilight’s eyes widened. “NO! Don’t even joke about doing such a cruel thing! Besides, if this really is a story, the Pinkies said its name is ‘The Kaboom’, not ‘Two Twilight Sparkles Kill Their Friends’.” The book-loving alicorn poked a hoof into her counterpart’s ribs. “Right, Sci-Twi?”
“Uh, riiiight.” Sci-Twi stepped away from her royal self in borderline fear. ‘She was only joking about killing our friends over burnt books, right? Right??’
“Okay, but is there anything we might have forgotten about or should look into?” Equestrian Fluttershy asked. “It wouldn’t hurt.”
Princess Twilight laid another thought-happy hoof in her cheek. “Hmm…now that you mention it, it does feel like I was about to do something, but I can’t remember what it is.”
Outside Sweet Apple Acres’ barn…
Two Apple Blooms watched over a pot holding portions of fifteen different magical potions that the Equestrian filly had mixed, a personal record. Mostly to show off to herself, literally.
Earth Apple Bloom leaned closer to the potion-filled pot with an apprehensive frown. “Uh, this is really close to boilin' over. You sure about this?”
“‘Course!” Equestrian Apple Bloom answered with her head high, eyes proudly closed. “Once this super-duper growth megapotion is ready, it'll make flowers grow thirty–no, fifty times as big!”
“I don’t know. Call it a human’s intuition, but mixin’ all those potions might have been a bad idea.”
“Ugh, yer startin’ to sound like Applejack, not another me. Just trust me and wat–”
*Kaboom!*
A magic-powered explosion, in an explosion of colors, erupted from the unstable mixture of potions. It slammed into the barn and the Apple family's house and blew off their doors; stomach-sinking sounds of shattering fired from inside the latter structure. The blast knocked pigs inside their dens on their sides, triggering them to oink furiously in alarm. As its final act, it rammed into the nearest apple trees and prematurely freed some apples still growing on them.
As for the Apple Blooms, they lay on their backs, coated in (oddly) black ash.
“Oops. That wasn’t supposed–”
“APPLE BLOOMS!!” an elderly female voice roared from inside the Apple family’s house. “WHAT IN TARNATION DID Y’ALL JUST DO?!”
Earth Apple Bloom glared at her counterpart, who meekly grinned and giggled in response.
“You were sayin’?”
“Uh, w-well, Ah’m just a filly, not a potion master.”
Author's Note
Points for effort, Equestrian soon-to-be-grounded Apple Bloom.
