Let's Settle This

by Leviathan Eclipse

Rating: everyone
Tags: Gabby, Babs Seed, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Scootaloo
Length: 1313

Cutie mark crusaders debate over who is best princess

Who is the best princess? After a heated argument among Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, they decide to call all members to the clubhouse to discuss the matter. Babs and Gabby are just happy to spend time with their friends/cousin.

My submission for the Dialog Only Contest

Published 2024-06-10 07:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-10 07:20:00 UTC

Don't be disrespecting the princess pal

"Alright, ah now bring this official meetin' of the cutie mark crusaders to order. First order of business, roll call. Apple Bloom, here. Scootaloo?"

"Yo."

Sweetie Bell?"

"Here."

"Gabby?"

"Present and accounted for! Also, I just want to say how great it is to see you all again! It's been so long and I deliver mail to Ponyville on a regular basis but I rarely get a chance to just come hang out with-"

"Ah know gabby, but we'll get to that in a bit. We gotta finish the items on the docket."

"Oh, right! Sorry, clamming up now!"

"Thank you. Ahem, Babs Seed?"

"How you doin' cuz?"

"Great, thanks for askin' cuz. Now that roll has been called, our next order of business is the first official forum to determine once and for all, who is the best princess. We don't leave until we all agree. That being said, I'd just like to remind y'all that while this will get a bit heated, at the end of the day, we're a family. So, who want's to start off the discussion?"

"I mean, you might as well cuz. You's the one leadin' this thing."

"Alright y'all, cards on the table. Celestia is the best princess, hooves down. She's ruled us alone for a thousand years of peace. Plus, she gave my family our farm. Not to mention she has the coolest mane."

"You can't be serious Apple Bloom, all she does all day is sit around and smile. Cadance actually defended her empire when it was under attack! Celestia couldn't even be bothered to put up her own shield around Canterlot when the changelings invaded. Not to mention how Chrysalis took her down in one shot."

"While you two have good points, no princess can beat the princess of the night."

"Oh please Scootaloo! You're just saying that because she helped you bond with Rainbow Dash. I mean, she's helped the three of us out a lot, but are you forgetting she used to be Nightmare Moon?"

"You kidding? That's just another thing that makes her awesomer than any other princess! She was even cool as an evil pony, and she's the whole reason our big sisters are such close friends. Plus Luna actually helps all ponies, not just ponies in the Crystal Empire, or the snooty nobles in Canterlot, everypony! Plus, she has that radical flowing star mane that's way cooler than Celestia!"

"Well, if you go by that metric, Princess Twilight would be the best princess. She's saved the world like ten times and she's the current ruling princess of Equestria. Then there's the school of friendship she started, which really helped Gallus come out of his shell. Plus, didn't she tutor you three to hone your skills before you got your cutie marks? So she personally helped the three of you like Princess Luna, but she also saved the world a bunch, including from Princess Luna, twice. Finally, she's just really nice! I'm sure all the princesses are, but Princess Twilight is the nicest one I've ever met."

"Gabby, she's the only princess you've ever met... isn't she?"

"Well technically I've met Princess Celestia and Princess Luna on a mail delivery to Silver Shoals. They're both kind to me... at least Princess Celestia is. Princess Luna is... well she's usually a bit too excited to see me. I don't know if she acts that way to all mail carriers, but she usually hug tackles me when I come to deliver her mail."

"Gabby, ya know you can just call them Celestia and Luna right? They're really down to earth like that, 'specially Celestia. Ya know, the best princess?"

"Yeah right, didn't you hear about her acting skills, or should I say lack there of? She's had how long to learn how to act, and she was bombing every chance she had at it! Even professional acting coaches couldn't teach her!"

"Oh, and I'm sure Cadance is so much better!"

"Apple Bloom, we're better actors than Celestia. Heck, Tank is a better actor than Celestia and he's a turtle!"

"Tortoise!"

"Whatever! They're the same thing! Point is, Celestia isn't the best princess."

"Yeah! Plus, Luna is actually good at acting. She's got that whole regal vibe going on and after those voice training lessons, she can actually get the attention of the whole audience, not just the front row."

"Ya know, I think Flurry Heart doesn't get enough love from us ponies."

"Babs, what the hay are you talking about? She's a foal, barely able to say five words last I heard."

"Yeah, she's a foal. A blank flank. She's got infinite potential, not to mention that if they ever let her loose from that magic limiting thing they did to her, she'd be a total force of nature like her name sake. I bet she could invade and conquer Equestria before she's a full grown mare."

"Babs, how is that a good thing?"

"Look, I'm just sayin'! I bet she could do it! Her dad's big into military, her ma runs an empire, they have a super powered magic heart thing that she's connected to by like, birth right or somethin'. You can't tell me she won't grow up to be a total powerhouse. Probably overthrow her folks just cause she can. Might even make a new diarchy with Twilight, but she'd be like, the main one. Together they could rule the world, not just Equestria. Tell me I'm wrong, ya can't"

"Do you really think Twilight would go for something like that though?"

"You kiddin'? Flurry's got her auntie Twilight wrapped around her little hoof. She's like, the pony Twilight loves the most. Plus, her big bro's gonna die, Flurry ain't. Celestia and Luna are off doin' whatevah they do, clobbering mail carriers and whatnot. Flurry, is the future, that's just facts."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Huh, you know Babs, that's really morbid to bring up... still, it does make a lot of sense now that I think about it."

"Really Gabby?"

"Well yeah! Babs made some really good points, plus, she's just the cutest little filly I've ever seen!"

"Huh, you're right that she is adorable. Plus, I really like her mane!"

"Hey! I just thought of something! When she gets older, I bet we could help her get her cutie mark! Could you imagine helping a princess get her cutie mark? It would be so awesome! Don't you think so Apple Bloom?"

"..."

"Cuz? You doin' okay? Ya look a bit constipated."

"Dagnabit! Why does that make so much sense? Why didn't we think about all that sooner? Ugh! I feel so silly for cheerin' on ol' sun butt when Flurry was right there!"

"Hey, it's no biggie, but does this mean the meetin's ova?"

"Yeah well, we still gotta hold a vote. All those who agree Flurry Heart is the best princess?"

"Aye."

"Heck yeah!"

"Absotootly!"

"You know it."

"Eeyup."

"Any opposed?"

"..."

"Hearing none, I declare a consensus reached, declaring Flurry heart the best princess. Meeting adjourned!"

"Wait! I just remembered we forgot one!"

"What? But we covered all the alicorn princesses, and we ain't gonna include unicorn royalty. They don't count no more."

"No! We forgot another alicorn princess!"

"No we didn't. Who are you talking about Sweetie Belle?"

"Princess Big Mac!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Gotchya!"

"All in favor of banning Sweetie Belle from making jokes for a week?"

"Yeppers."

"Agreed."

"Totally."

"Eeyup."

"Any opposed?"

"Neigh!"

"In the ears of the chair, the ayes have it, and the motion passes. Sweetie Belle is hereby banned from making jokes for seven days starting tomorrow."

"Oh come on!"

Author's Note

I came up with this idea at work, and wrote this as soon as I got home in like 4 hours. I hope you enjoy my nonsense!