The Purposes of Ponies

“I’m here to discuss the princess’s fiancé’s employment. I understand you have some concerns, Chief.”

“Ah, yes, your highness. I know it’s not a fit job for a prince—”

“— Oh, do you now? Tell me, do you know whether Big Mac is happy with his work?”

“We’ve never discussed it. Or much of anything, really. He’s not much of a talker. And there are many reasons why ponies are satisfied or unsatisfied with their jobs.”

“Come now, Chief. It’s been several months. Surely you’ve seen him work for long enough to have an idea.”

“Ah, your highness. Ah...”

“Answer me!”

“Yes, he enjoys the work. Especially when he can help with tasks other porters struggle with. Too often ponies ignore the regulations on acceptable weights of crates.”

“Why thank you, Chief. Now, do you have concerns with Big Mac’s performance?”

“Of course not, your highness! He’s one of my strongest and most dedicated workers.”

“We have an occupation where he enjoys the work, and he excels at the work, how can that not be a suitable occupation for a prince?”

“It’s beneath royalty, sir!”

“‘Beneath royalty’ you say? You imagine he’s to do something he’s less suited for, because somepony like you deems it unworthy? While we, who are royals, obviously do not?”

“If you put it like that—”

“— I do put it like that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You agree that porter is a proper occupation for this particular prince, then?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Does anything more need to be discussed about his employment?”

“No, sir.”

“Then good day, Chief.”

“Good day, your highness.”

“... and then there are concerns from the chief porter about the propriety of your fiancé’s position.”

“Oh, you don’t need to bother about that. It’s already been taken care of by Blueblood.”

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“Try some of the tea, it’ll help with that cough.”

“How could you have chosen Blueblood to handle this?”

“Blueblood can occasionally — very occasionally — be useful about this kind of thing. Ponies can develop some deep beliefs, and it’s difficult sometimes to convince them how foolish they in fact are — they’ll build mental barriers. Often rudeness only entrench the belief and make them hunker down and defend it all the harder ... but sometimes, a blast of rudeness is the best way to break through the mental barriers they’re erected. And even then maybe there’ll be some resentment about it, but Blueblood isn’t the kind of pony to care what a ‘commoner’ thinks.”

“I see. But couldn’t you just have ordered the chief porter to keep McIntosh on after the wedding?”

“Yes, and he’d obey such an order, but he wouldn’t accept it. It’d still ‘be improper’ according to his sensibilities, and that will destroy the working relationship. And Big Mac is not the kind of pony who would be satisfied living off a royal stipend, he needs to have an honest job.”

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“Does that bother you?”

“No, your majesty. You’ve just given me some things to think about.”