The Cuckoo's Lament

by Jade Ring

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Sunset Shimmer, Sad, Drama, Dark, Original Character, Equestria Girls
Length: 2301

Sunset Shimmer has a confession to make.

Sunset Shimmer has a confession to make.

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Third Place Winner of the Dialogue Only Contest.

Cover art borrowed from IDW.

Published 2024-06-12 12:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-12 12:30:02 UTC

The Cuckoo's Lament

"Oh! Sorry. Didn't mean to slam that. I didn't realize it was so heavy."

"Peace, my child. The booth's door is of no consequence."

"Right. Um... so.. Yeah. How are you, today?"

“Decently well. Thank you for asking. Yourself?”

“Me? Oh. I’m good. I’m real good. I’m great.”

“...”

“...”

"You've never done this before, have you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"To be fair to you, my child, I should tell you that the act of confession is reserved only for those baptized into the faith."

"I was afraid of that."

"And yet you still came?"

"I just... I didn't know where else to go. Should I leave?"

"Why did you come here?"

"There's been something on my mind lately. Something heavy. I was watching this old horror movie with my boyfriend and there was a confession scene. It seemed like just what I needed. I just... I need to get something out. To tell somebody. Before I accidentally tell the people I care about."

"Because telling them would hurt them?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

"...I cannot absolve you of your sins, my child."

"That's alright. I didn't think anyone can at this point."

"Then, in this case, I will make an exception. I will hear you out."

"Thank you, Father. Uh... okay. So..."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm pretty sure in the movie they had to say something before... oh. But this isn't an 'official' confession, is it?"

"We can go through the motions if that would make you feel better."

"...It might."

"The phrase is 'bless me Father, for I have sinned.'"

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"Now, tell me what ails you, child?"

"Hoo boy. Okay. Sorry. This is... this is just gonna sound all kinds of weird."

"I'm not here to judge you."

"I know. That's why I came. Because I think you're the only person in any world who won't. Judge me, I mean."

"...Any world?"

"How up to date are you on local current events. Specifically in regards to strange phenomena located at a local high school."

"Ah. You're referring to the portal to Equestria."

"...Okay, so you're very up to date. How do you...?"

"The Pie family have been members of the faith for generations. And their youngest daughter is quite the... enthusiastic speaker in confession."

"Yeah. That's Pinkie, alright. Um... so one last question, then, before I really get started."

"Go ahead."

"You still aren't going to say anything to anyone, right? Even though this isn't official?"

"If you're concerned that I'm going to repeat anything said in this confessional to young Pinkie Pie, you can rest easy. The only non-spiritual benefit of this confession is that I will keep your secrets."

"Thank you, Father."

"...Unless it's something grievously against the law. Like some violent crime."

"Like murder?"

"...Have you killed anyone, my child?"

"No. Not really. I mean... yes. It's just... Father, is it murder if you kill yourself?"

"I'm fairly confident you haven't committed suicide, my child. And if you're having those thoughts, I would urge you to..."

"That's not what I... oh, the hell with it. Father, I'm not from this world. I came here through the portal. I'm from Equestria. I'm... I'm not human."

"All lives are the same to me, my child, no matter from whence they came."

"In my world, before I came here, I was a student. I was the personal apprentice to our world's leader. My studies were everything, because I... because I believed that it was my destiny to rule after her."

"And why did you believe that?"

"I... I don't know. Princess Celestia never outright said that was what she was guiding me towards, but I believed it anyway. I convinced myself to delve into deeper and more potent magics. I wanted to impress her, wanted to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that I could do what she'd never asked me to do."

"And what happened?"

"I... I was wrong. When she caught me studying forbidden texts, she chastised me. And when I asked her to confirm my belief, that I was being molded as her successor... she... she laughed."

"Was it a cruel laugh?"

"Looking back? Probably not. It was probably just a shocked reaction at hearing something so ridiculous. But at the time? It shattered me, Father. Broke me. I cursed her, cast her out of my heart, stole some pages from one of the books, and fled. I ran down to the bowels of the castle and escaped to the one place I knew she wouldn't come after me."

"You came here."

"Yes. And here's the thing about this world and my world, Father. Somehow almost every person in my world has a version of themselves in this one. Like a doppelganger. There's a Pie family in my world, too. Celestia's a princess in my world, and a principal here. Hell, I bet there's an Equestrian you, though I have no idea what you'd be doing since we don't exactly have religion."

"But there wasn't another one of you? On this side of the mirror, I mean."

"That's just it, Father. There was. Another me, I mean. Another Sun... Another girl. I found her by accident. Nearly bumped into her on the street. I can't imagine what might have happened if she'd gotten a closer look at my face."

"Quite the conundrum."

"That's putting it lightly. You see, I had a plan to get back at the Princess, to seize by force what I believed she'd been dangling in front of me like a carrot. It would take me years of work and manipulation, but I knew it could be done. But..."

"But?"

"But to do it, I couldn't be a stranger. I had to... I had to be me. Do you understand? I had to wear the mask of an average girl. And I couldn't do it while the other me was around. There were too many variables. Too many risks."

"My child... What are you saying?"

"I used one of the spells I'd stolen before my escape. I created a frozen moment in time so we wouldn't be observed. I waited until it was dark and she was alone and I... I... I didn't want to. You have to believe me that I didn't want to. But at the time? I told myself there was just no other way. For my plan to work, for my destiny to unfold as I saw it... she had to die. I... I had to die."

"So you killed her?"

"...She didn't suffer. It was quick, I made sure of that. She was scared and confused at the end, but who wouldn't be? Who imagines meeting their end being strangled by their reflection?"

"Dear God."

"I'd brought a potion back with me. It reduced what was left of her to less than ashes. No body. No evidence of my crime. No evidence that she'd ever existed at all. She was a blank space in reality. And I... I filled the space."

"You took her life."

"In every sense of the phrase. I moved into her house. I wore her clothes. I went to the movies with the boy who liked her and gave her his jacket to wear. I attended her school."

"Her parents..."

"I claimed that I'd had a fall the night I took her place. That I'd hit my head pretty good. That part wasn't a lie. She... the other me... got a pretty good shot in with some heavy books in her bag. Any differences in personality between the two of us were hand-waved away by that. I tried to be cordial, but I... I couldn't love them like she had. They weren't my real parents. I moved out as soon as she… as I turned eighteen and I haven't talked to them in years. They... they still call sometimes. On her birthday. And Christmas. I stopped answering a long time ago, but they always leave a voicemail. Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially guilty, I listen to them. They... they want to know what they did wrong. Why their daughter doesn't talk to them anymore."

"They deserve to know their daughter is dead, my child."

"Would telling them that bring them peace, Father? At least this way they think their daughter is alive and thriving, even if she doesn't necessarily want to be a part of their lives anymore. Isn't that more preferable than knowing she's dead?"

"You reason, but you still feel guilty, my child. If you didn't, you wouldn't be here."

"Of course I feel guilty! I... I took that girl's life, Father! Everything she was, everything she might have been... I took all of it. And why? For some destiny that was never even meant to be mine."

"So why continue the ruse? Why do this to yourself?"

"Because it's all I have! Don't you get that, Father?! I ended her life, but I ended my own as well! Because the Sunset I was going to be died that night too. Instead I became her, and after my plans for revenge failed and I started a new life... Father, suddenly I had friends. Real friends. The kind that trust and accept me. They love me, Father. We've been through so much together. And I have a boyfriend. A wonderful, loving boyfriend. But if I ever told any of them the truth..."

"You're afraid you'd lose them."

"I would lose them, Father. Especially Flash. He really liked her... "

"But if you've, as you put it, taken her place, doesn't he still?"

"My life is a lie, Father. Everything that's good in my life has been bought and paid for by the price of a broken neck. I'm... I'm a monster..."

"...My child?"

"...Yeah?"

"There is a box of tissues beside you. Dry your eyes and listen to me. What do you know of the cuckoo?"

"Like... like the clock with the little bird inside?"

"No. The actual bird."

"I'm aware it exists, if that's what you mean. What are you...?"

"All creatures of this world have their place in it, but I believe the cuckoo is a monstrous creature. It feeds on love and thrives on treachery. It cares only for itself. A mother cuckoo lays her egg in another bird's nest and leaves it, never to return. The cuckoo chick hatches quickly, and then pushes and kicks the nest's rightful eggs out where they fall and break."

"That's awful."

"Yes, but what comes after is worse. The parents do not realize their children have been murdered and replaced. They are simple birds, after all. So they feed and care for this chick, this interloper, until it grows up and leaves the nest."

"You're saying that I'm a cuckoo."

"In a way. But there is a great difference between you and the cuckoo, my child."

"What's that?"

"You feel sorrow for what you've done. Regret. Anguish. The cuckoo feels none of these things. Because you feel guilt, you are no true cuckoo. You are no monster. Some of my fellow men of the cloth would even say someone with as much guilt as you belongs in our ranks."

"I just... I don't know what to do."

"As I cannot prescribe for you prayers of recompense, may I make another suggestion?"

"Sure."

"Tell me something first. When you look in the mirror, who do you see looking back? Yourself? Or the girl whose life you took?"

"A little of both? Neither? I don't know."

"You know that Pinkie Pie speaks highly of you. She says that you're a good friend. So might I suggest that instead of mourning the lives that were lost, that you live this new combined life to it's fullest?"

"What do you mean?"

"You see two lives that ended that dark night. Perhaps together they made a new one. Perhaps two Sunset's died... so that a third could be born."

"I... I hadn't considered that. If I do that, if I live like that... will the guilt go away?"

"Pray that the guilt never does. A little guilt makes us human, after all."

“But I’m not…”

“You are no less human than anyone else who has sat in that booth, my child.”

"Thank you, Father. I... I'll try doing what you said. I will."

"Before you go, my child, I do have one act of contrition for you. Something that just might ease the weight on your soul."

"Yes, Father?"

"Talk to the parents. You don't have to tell them the truth, but at least you can give them their daughter back. After all, she lives on in you, from a certain point of view."

"...This isn't going to be easy, is it?"

"No. Nor should it be. You committed a grievous act, my child. You can let it consume you... or you can spend your life making up for it. Redemption is never out of reach for those who truly seek it."

"...Thank you, Father. I’ll… I’ll do my best."

"Go in peace, my child. And live. Live well."

Author's Note

Yes, this is a stealth sequel to 'a Girl Walks Home Alone at Midnight.' I elected to not mark it as such as I believe it works fine as a stand-alone, as well as other more dramatic reasons.

Longtime followers know that this was originally meant to be a bigger story; a murder-mystery with slasher elements. After laboring over that for almost three years, I ultimately accepted that it just wasn't meant to be. I still wanted to tell a story where Sunset comes to terms with what she did, however, and the avenue came from the Dialogue Only Contest.

I hope it worked as well as I wanted it to.

-Jade