There Could Be Zebras About

“I'm just gonna take a leak Sarge, before sun-up.”

“And I want to hear you do it right behind me Private, we're not getting separated and picked off.”

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course. Just want to get it out before we're under the camo nets for the morning.”

“Anything Sarge?”

“Nope.”

“Lemme look through them.”

“Here.”

“What do you reckon?”

“Same as yesterday Sarge, just minus a few rock-climbing zebs.”

“I doubt that very much, keep looking. Seems like you've got better eyes than me, Mr Artist.”

“Shuddup.”

“Still nothing?”

“Not a soul, Sarge. Dead as a doornail out there. Unless we're at war with cacti now.”

“Har har, Private, you wish. You'll get your rematch with that one last week.”

“Shut up, Buckler pushed me OK?”

“So you say. If he pushed you how come he helped take the spines out.”

“Bog off.”

“I'm sure between us we can take ‘em, Private, it's not like they run fast, you'd have to be an idiot to-”

AAAAAIIEEEE!

“Did you hear that Sarge?”

“Of course I bloody- there it is again!”

“Sarge?”

“Buck. Buck, buck buck. Get out there!”

“Wait, Sarge-”

“We're under attack, Private! Get out there colt!”

“No Sarge, wait, what-”

“That's an order, Private!”

“No!”

“This is insubor-”

“Hear me our Sarge! It could be a trap!”

“Ten seconds, Private, or-”

“If they spotted us we need to be careful Sarge, or we'll get cut off.”

“Agreed, but we need to act, Private! Get out there and tell me what you see! I'm right behind you.”

“Ok, ok, I'm going…”

“...no zebras right here Sarge. The plateau seems clear.”

“Thank Celestia. Right then Private, quick march back to camp. Time to prove our worth.”

“Doesn't sound good, Sarge.”

“Shut up, Private. Battle never does. No use brooding. They'll probably be finishing up the last of the zebs before we arrive.”

“If you say so. What’s the plan here then?”

“Let me go first Private, keep an eye out on the top here while I climb down the crevasse and get a sight of the route down to camp. We'll teach those zebras a lesson in no time.”

“If you say so. Let me give you a hoof.”

“Sarge, is that you?”

“Yes, keep your voice down!”

“How's it look?”

“It's…”

“They still haven't fought them all off yet?”

“It's bad Private, we'll…”

“Lemme get down, I'm right behind you Sarge. We'll take ‘em together.”

“No, we'll…”

“What is it?

“It's, it's a massacre.”

“C'mon Sarge, I'm not a total little filly, I'm ready for a scrap.”

“They’re all going to die, Private!”

“...”

“...”

“What… what are we gonna do then, Sarge?”

“Bucked if I know!”

“...”

“I don't really want to die, Sarge.”

“Neither do I Private, but we're bucked! I'd be amazed if I wasn't spotted. The valley’s flooded with em!”

“...we can't just stand here listening, Sarge, we've got to do something.”

“You're right, we've got to do something. Or try.”

“Maybe if we can get word to other battalions…”

“...Maybe Celestia's grace won't abandon us just yet. You're right, Private. We need to warn the rest of the Army.”

“What's the plan then Sarge?”

“Get me out of this bloody ravine first, that bucking sound!”

“...”

“Right Private, we hoof it back to the observation post, get the kit, wait for cover of night, then it's double time until we're back to civilization.”

“Sarge?”

“Maybe we shouldn't wait. They're, uh… distracted.”

“Celestia forgive us…”