Your Summon is Pink

by 5007

Chapters

Sur-PRISE!
Can Mountains Whistle?
Evaluations
Ponies in the Leaf
Montage
Eventful Days

Sur-PRISE!

Your Summon is Pink

by 5007 (aka Lord Dragon Claw)

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. MLP belongs to Hasbro.

Chapter One: Sur-PRISE!

00000

Konohagakure no Sato (Hidden Village of the Leaves) was the primary military base for Fire Country. Konoha Medical Center, situated near the center of said "village", was a bastion of modern medical ninja techniques and technologies. While a portion of the complex was dedicated to civilian matters and mundane procedures, like birthing children and tooth extraction, the majority of it had been built like a fortress. Various injured ninja had a habit of trying to check out of hospital before they were fully healed, especially the Akimichi (the food was terrible, they frequently said). The walls were built of granite with seals carved into the walls for added strength and nullification of Doton (Earth Release) techniques. The wooden paneling on both sides of the walls (for insulation) was made from special trees that were fed water-natured chakra at regular intervals throughout life, both for fireproofing and additional strength. They even used special glass for the windows that shattered in such a way to prevent injury when people leapt out of them (leaping into any of the buildings through said windows had the opposite effect and usually resulted in the intruder being strapped to a gurney).

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage (Third Fire Shadow), had signed the building permits several decades earlier and was once again marveling at all the progress that had been done since Tsunade's, his prized student's plans of a medical center optimized to treat ninja had been implemented; he couldn't count the number of lives that it had helped save, both in the short- and long-term. Before he could enter the building, his squad of four white-porcelain-masked ANBU (Special Black-Ops Squad) silently materialized around him and took their usual positions. Two of them placed themselves on either side of the door while the third covered their leader's back and the fourth shinobi entered through the doors to check for ambushes or other potential threats. After the ANBU inside the building had given the all-clear sign, Hiruzen entered, flanked by the two shinobi guarding the doors while the last one had his back.

It was a confusing dance to watch, but the personal guard of the Hokage performed this choreography everywhere they went, always covering all possible angles of attack. They also did it with such fluidity and speed that the Hokage didn't even have to slow his stride as he walked through the double doors of the hospital.

The old Hokage marched to the front desk where he was met with the icy gaze of the Branch Family Hyuuga secretary manning his station.

"Evening, Hokage-sama," was his curt greeting.

"Good evening," replied the older ninja. "I understand that Jiraiya of the Sannin has been admitted. Could I bother you for his room number?"

00000

The old man was allowed into the hospital room almost immediately. The Sandaime Hokage sighed when he saw Jiraiya, the Toad Sage, in the hospital bed, his leg in traction. While the Sandaime was a seventy-year-old man, Jiraiya was a physically-fit fifty-year-old with long, spiky white hair, some face paint, and a horned metal headband engraved with the kanji for "oil".

"Odd that you were the one who ended up in the hospital," chuckled the Hokage.

"Keep that attitude up, Sensei, and you won't be getting the next issue of my book," threatened the Toad Sage.

Hiruzen smirked. "Then I suppose that I'll have to arrange that you only get male nurses for the remainder of your stay, now won't I?"

Jiraiya's mouth opened and closed a few times before he shrugged and shook his head. "I suppose that's checkmate."

"What of Naruto? Did you have him sign the Toad Contract like we planned?"

The Sannin blinked a couple of times. He put his hand to his chin. "I taught him the seals for summoning, but I tried to help him improve his control before he started."

"And?" The Hokage was getting twitchy. It was almost as if he was worried something bad was going to happen.

"Well, he used too much chakra and in the end blew up the streambed we were standing on. I went tumbling down the mountain and my leg got caught between a couple of boulders."

There was a moment of silence.

The Hokage groaned. "He didn't sign the contract, did he?"

"Well, uh, no."

Sarutobi Hiruzen palmed his face. "Did you at least explain to him how dangerous it is to try using the summoning jutsu when you aren't contracted with any creature?"

Jiraiya paled. "No... He's going to practice it anyway, isn't he!?"

The Hokage turned to one of his ANBU shadows. "Tenzo, find Naruto and bring him to me!"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

In a swirl of leaves, the masked ninja was gone.

00000

A twelve-year-old (almost thirteen) boy with golden blonde hair, lively, blue eyes, and whisker marks seemingly tattooed on his cheeks growled in frustration as he sat down, cross-legged, in the middle of a clearing, unzipping his orange and blue jacket to release some body heat.

"Did that Pervert-Sage ditch me?" he murmured.

Naruto hadn't been able to find Jiraiya since the explosion. He'd have to remember how he did that - could be a nice surprise for anyone who got a hold of him. The blonde shook his head.

Not what I need to be focusing on anyway, he thought. He looked to the sun to see that he still had a few hours of daylight left. Nodding to himself, he decided to practice a bit.

His hands flashed through the signs for boar, dog, monkey, rooster, and sheep. He did it again. And again. He was repeating the signs to increase his speed before attempting the jutsu. Jiraiya may have only been training him for a few days, but the lessons had really stuck. He had already learned to think in different ways.

Once he was able to do the hand signs in under a second, he figured he was done practicing. When he heard the sharp cawing of a crow and searched for the origin of the sound he spotted the bird in a tree. The sun was directly behind it - only ten minutes of daylight left. He'd try summoning just once and then he would go to Ichiraku's. He'd look for Jiraiya tomorrow.

He bit his thumb, channeled all of the chakra he could muster (despite the fact he still couldn't consciously reach his secondary chakra source), flashed the five signs, and slammed the palm of his hand down onto the ground.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" (Summoning Technique)

Summoning without a contract is incredibly dangerous. Doing so would be like gambling with one's soul. One could summon a demon, an angry dragon, an irate giant snake, or any number of deadly things. There was no telling what a summoning could bring out.

Naruto was gifted with extremely good luck when it came to gambling - and he was wagering his soul and that of the Kyuubi's. He had a one-in-a-million chance to even survive an uncontracted summoning, but when it comes to people like Naruto...

"Sur-PRISE!" cried out the summon from within the smoke, confetti and balloons suddenly appearing from within and going everywhere.

Naruto found himself face-to-face with what appeared to be a bright pink horse with a darker pink mane standing on its hind legs. It wore a skintight, black bodysuit with ceramic armor plates (also pink) placed in strategic positions on its body. Around its neck was some kind of jeweled necklace with a balloon-shaped pink gem. Covering its muzzle was a black veil, making its bright blue eyes seem brighter by comparison.

The horse summon wrapped its forehooves around Naruto, enveloping him in a hug. Needless to say, Naruto was floored, both because he had been expecting a toad summon and because he'd never really been hugged before. The horse smelled like cookie dough and cake frosting, of all things.

"I'm so excited! This is the first time anypony has been summoned! Are you excited!? You're going to be the first Pony Summoner in the history of the world! If I knew this was going to happen I would have baked a cake to celebrate!"

"That... sounds like fun?" Naruto replied hesitantly. He tentatively returned the hug. "So, you're a 'pony'?"

"Yes! An earth pony mare! My name's Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie! All my friends do!" She nuzzled his face as she swung him around before setting him down again and pulling back to get a good look at his face. "What's your name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto. And I'm going to be Hokage some day!" He smiled at her - while she wasn't what he was expecting, he already liked her. "But I'm training for the Chuunin Exams and I was kind of expecting to summon a toad."

Pinkie snorted. "Toads are just big meanies! Wait, you're in training?"

Naruto nodded.

"You should train in Equestria! Especially since you need to see Princess Luna to sign our Summoning Contract."

"Wait, what?"

And with an explosion of smoke, they were gone.

00000

Tenzo landed in the middle of the smoke cloud, sighing as he realized that the equine had already taken Naruto to the Summon Realm.

Maybe Hokage-sama knows something about these horse summons, he thought as he made his way back to the hospital.

00000

"I swear that child's going to kill me before I can give him my hat!" fumed Sarutobi. He turned back to Tenzo. "And you say it appeared to be a pink horse summon?"

The ANBU Captain nodded.

Jiraiya rubbed his chin before summoning a small toad. "Hey, Kusari-Gama, I have a question."

The pale green toad that carried a coiled chain on his back grunted. "'Sup?"

"Have you heard of any Horse Summon Clan?"

"Horse?" repeated Kusari. He sat back and closed his eyes in contemplation. "No horses. Sorry."

The Sage rubbed his temples as he sighed. "Sorry, Sensei."

As Sarutobi gripped the armrests of his chair more tightly due to the stress, the small toad croaked again.

"Ponies though," he started as he opened his eyes. "Pony Summons do exist. They tend to keep to themselves and seem to be at war with most of the rest of the Summon Clans. They tend to not like us toads."

Sarutobi raised his eyebrow at the small toad's explanation. "Do you know if any of them are pink?"

Kusari nodded. "They come in all sorts of colors."

Jiraiya posed his question. "What other clans, if any, are they allied with?"

"That's a real short list," chuckled the small toad. "They are allied with five others - Griffins, Bulls, Zebras, Donkeys, and Minotaurs specifically - and have a long-standing cease-fire with the Monkeys."

"Thanks, Kusari-Gama," the Toad Sage sighed. "You may go now."

With a salute, the small toad was gone in a puff of chakra smoke.

All of the ninja in the room turned expectant eyes towards their Hokage who was wearing a contemplative expression.

"I'll have to see what Enma says," responded the old man.

00000

For a moment, Naruto thought Pinkie had killed him. He felt like a lake that is being sucked through a straw in under the course of a second, while on fire. He coughed up a lot of phlegm, the smoke burning his lungs for a bit, convincing him for a split-second that he was indeed on fire, when an appendage helped him to his feet while another patted his back, helping him spit out the last bit of errant mucus.

"Are you okay?" he heard Pinkie ask, concern evident in her voice.

"What happened?" Naruto croaked.

"Oh, I took you with me back to the Summon Realm!" she beamed, all worry about the boy's health apparently forgotten.

Naruto took a look around, now that the chakra smoke had cleared. He was in a bedroom of sorts, with pink-painted walls. Upon these walls were weapon racks holding all sorts of... baking utensils? In a crate in one corner several tanks marked as "Helium" sat next to a box filled with empty balloons. Near it was a calendar that had every day of the year upon it - and nearly every space had at least one name of some sort written within. Near that, on the back of the door, was a full-body mirror.

The bed was, unsurprisingly, covered with pink sheets and blankets. Near it was an open kennel in which a lizard of some sort was sleeping. Littered all over the floor were various bits of streamers, confetti, and all sorts of odd blueprints. Near a workbench in the far corner was some sort of bicycle-like contraption that had seen better days. Obviously, Pinkie was repairing it, but it didn't seem to have any way of moving along the ground. It might have been a submersible for all Naruto knew. Finally, against one of the walls surrounded by a pair of windows was a modest bookcase filled with a number of well-read books. Many of them had to do with chakra theory, ninja tactics, and siege weaponry, but there were plenty of cookbooks as well. Naruto could tell that they were not sorted in any specific fashion.

Naruto turned to see Pinkie sitting on her haunches smiling at him, hoping that he approved of her room. Seeing such child-like expectation on the pony's face cause Naruto to smirk.

"This is your room, right?"

She nodded vigorously. Naruto could have sworn he heard the sound of rocks rattling around inside of a wooden box but he ignored it.

"Much better than my place," he admitted as he scratched the back of his head.

Her eyes closed as she smiled behind her veil, looking very similar to how Kakashi-sensei smiled on occasion.

00000

Hiruzen puffed on his pipe as Enma paced the length of the private Sarutobi Underground Training Chamber.

"I was just a young primate," began the Monkey King, "when my father finally met with Celestia, Princess of the Ponies, to finally work out the terms of the cease-fire. That was eight hundred years ago..."

0-0-0-0

Son Gokuu, the Monkey King, grunted as his Four Silverspear Guards escorted him and his son to the summit of the hill both parties had agreed on. It was a mesa, really, sitting within the confines of Everfree Forest, a territory all summons considered to be neutral. As the Monkeys reached the center, a brilliant flash of light heralded the arrival of Princess Celestia, Goddess of the Sun, and Primary Monarch for the Pony Clan. Her escorts were an Earth Pony wearing heavy bladed armor with claw-like extensions on all four of her hooves, a Unicorn with a massive assortment of weaponry strapped to his armor, and two Pegasi, one wearing a sleek, form-fitting, black garb and the other in golden armor, blades attached to the first three primaries of each of his wings.

Gokuu nodded his head towards his Pony equivalent, getting a nod in return.

"We, the Monkey Clan, are tired of this war," stated the ape monarch.

"As are we," agreed Celestia, her pastel mane flowing in an ethereal wind. "I have already taken the initiative of silencing those of my subjects whom wish to take your territories from you."

Gokuu took a step back out of surprise. Enma was confused, but remained silent as his father had instructed.

"Wh-" the Monkey King began before composing himself. "What do you mean?"

"It is my understanding," explained the Pony monarch, "that even though hostilities between our clans began over two-hundred years ago after my sister had gone mad, the movements of the Monkey Clan had initially been attempts at restoring the order of day and night. As such military actions took the lives of Equestrians, my subjects began calling for revenge, and many wished to conquer Monkey territory in retaliation."

"That sounds about right," Gokuu responded, his guarded tone revealing nothing despite the relief he felt internally.

"While I cannot offer any of my territory in reparation, I will declare my current capital and the surrounding area to be part of the Everfree and abandon the palace and much of the treasure within to those who can take it."

He rubbed his chin. "It would be booby-trapped, wouldn't it?"

Celestia gave a small grin, but did not respond to the question vocally.

"One other condition I have," stated the Monkey King.

"Please elaborate." The tone of her voice, while polite, had absolutely no inflection whatsoever.

"My allies wish to not have to mention your Clan to summoners, even when directly asked about Ponies."

There was a long, tense moment where the guards of both monarchs prepared for a fight due to being uncertain if Celestia would agree or disagree with such a condition. Summon Clans that had living summoners had great prestige and political power in the Summon Realm, and by accepting such a term, Princess Celestia would potentially permanently hobble her Clan. But not accepting might cause the war to last longer.

Celestia needed time to reconsolidate her power and reorganize her government. Signing a cease-fire with the Monkeys (and by extension, their allies) would reduce the number of fronts she would have to fight on by a significant margin.

Celestia's eyes glowed with the light of the Sun for a split-second, filling her with a vision of the future - a young human male with sun-kissed hair kneeling before her, signing the Pony Contract at her hooves in its blood - before the vision suddenly vanished from her mind's eye. But she remembered it. Even knowing the potential problems this final term Gokuu presented to her could cause, she took it all into consideration.

"Would it be possible to change that condition to no mention of Ponies to any summoner except those that already have knowledge of our existence?"

0-0-0-0

"... and that is how the cease-fire agreement was signed," finished Enma. "Though the Toads did not agree to any terms..."

"This Celestia-hime," began Sarutobi, looking at his favorite summon. "You say she is the Sun kami?"

"Of the Summon Realm, yes."

"So, she wouldn't be in control of our own Sun?"

"I doubt it," replied Enma. "Her younger sister was the Moon kami and the more militant of the two. About a thousand years ago, the younger went mad and forced the Summon Realm into perpetual night, sparking a civil war in the Pony Clan. My father sent warriors and assassins to try and restore the balance, but many other Clans took the opportunity to try and steal some territory from the Ponies."

Tapping out his pipe, the Hokage refilled it with more tobacco and used a minor fire jutsu to ignite it. "What caused the balance of night and day to be restored?"

"Celestia-hime sealed her sister inside of the Moon."

The Hokage nodded. While harsh, the punishment seemed appropriately ironic in his mind.

The current Monkey King continued. "It is rumored that the younger sister has returned recently; during the Summer Solstice the night lasted several hours longer than normal. While this phenomenon supports these rumors, I have yet to see any evidence that the mad Pony monarch has been freed."

00000

"Sister?"

"Yes, Luna? What are you doing up at this time of day? It is noon."

"It felt as though one of our subjects hast answered a Summoning..."

"Indeed. Pinkie Pie, the Bearer of Laughter, answered an uncontracted Summoning."

The Goddess of the Night blinked. "Thou art not worried?"

"No, Luna. Ms. Pie can take care of herself."

Princess Luna nodded. "Good day to thee, Sister. I shall return to slumber and shall rise at dusk."

"Good day, Sister. Sleep well," bade Princess Celestia.

00000

Naruto found himself almost literally dragged through town. He could see many different Ponies - some that were definitely warriors and some that were certainly civilians. These Ponies came in a variety of colors and some were shaped like Pinkie, but he noticed two other breeds - some that had a horn in the center of the forehead, and others that had wings. All the Ponies he passed paused in their activities, gazing hopefully at Naruto. For a split-second, he was confused as to why, but then he remembered that no Pony had ever been summoned before. They must be hoping that he'd be their summoner!

Well, I'm not going to let them down!

A mint-colored unicorn with a powder-blue mane, amber eyes, and an apparatus made of wood on her back jumped into Pinkie's path, causing the pink mare to stop. The contraption on her back opened up to reveal a pair of puppet arms with disproportionately large hands that clamped down on Naruto's shoulders, though not hard enough to cause pain - only mild discomfort.

"OH MY GOSH!" squealed the unicorn. "A HUMAN!"
She then hugged Naruto with her forelegs. And her false arms.

The blonde child tentatively hugged her back.

"Hi Lyra!" chirped Pinkie.

00000

While many ponies are "civilians", nearly every single one has been combat trained to some extent. Some younger summon creatures only see ponies as "namby-pamby wimps" and often try to bully the equines. Fine examples of this are young dragons, who think that just because they breathe fire, fly, and can bathe in lava without harm, ponies are easy pickings for raiding and pillaging.

One very good example is a raid from eighty years ago when four adolescent dragons attacked the settlement of Ponyville. While a number of homes were destroyed and many ponies injured, not a single one had been killed or crippled. The four young dragons were sent back to the nearest communal Wyrmnest. All four of the dragons had been mutilated in some way.

While many dragons still try to pick fights or kill other summon creatures, the wise ones never go after Ponies. Although friendly, the equines will not hesitate to deal harshly with anything that dared attack them if push comes to shove. Much like humans, in fact.

00000

Naruto found himself walking at a sedate pace with both Pinkie and Lyra.

Speaking of which, the unicorn mare was actually a civilian, but she had developed her puppetry techniques to such an extent that she could fight, potentially, thanks to her artificial arms. Lyra Heartstrings was obsessed with hands, for some reason. Even when the blonde child asked her why she liked hands so much, he couldn't make heads or tails of her explanation, so he dropped the issue.

"So," he began. "Where are we going?"

Pinkie blinked, putting her hoof under her veil to supposedly scratch her chin, before she suddenly gasped. "THAT'S RIGHT! I need to take you to my friend, Twilight Sparkle! She needs to let the Princesses know about you!"

Naruto suddenly found himself sitting on Pinkie's back. Well, I guess she is a horse, after all, he thought to himself.

"Sorry Lyra! I need to hurry hurry hurry!"

"GAH!" yelled the human as the pink mare sped off.

"'Salright!" Lyra called after them, a genuine smile plastered to her face.

00000

"While I do like to chat with you, Hiruzen, why bring up the subject of Ponies?" Enma asked.

"Our Jinchuuriki summoned one without a contract," replied the aged Hokage.

The Monkey King sat down. "That boy is lucky he still has his soul - imagine if he summoned a demon, or worse, a draconequus!"

Hiruzen steepled his fingers and leaned forward onto his desk. "I don't know what a draconequus is, but you are correct that he is lucky."

The old man took out his pipe and tapped the ashy remnants of his last smoke into his waste bin before grabbing some fresh tobacco from a drawer. A quick and minor fire jutsu later and the Sandaime's nicotine addiction was sated.

"When my successor, the Yondaime, sealed the Kyuubi into Naruto, I had hoped that the child would be seen as a hero."

Enma nodded. "You were always far too optimistic when it came to the quality of your own people, Hiruzen. Young Naruto was ignored at best, verbally abused at worst throughout his childhood, I take it?"

"Indeed," replied the wizened ninja. "Recently, Naruto has been able to turn the perceptions of a small few around. He counts them among his treasured people. Regardless, when it comes to luck, I think the boy may have inherited the luck of the kitsune."

The Monkey summon had connected the dots at this point. "So Naruto gambled with the Summoning jutsu and pulled a pony from my world, hence our earlier conversation."

"Yes, and the pony took him to the Summon Realm."

Enma laughed. "You don't have much to fear, Hiruzen. While ponies are vicious fighters, they are friendly enough outside of combat." Rubbing the back of his head, the Monkey continued. "Additionally, I'm not surprised that whichever pony Naruto summoned brought him to the Realm. Since it was unlikely that he summoned the Contract Bearer with his first try, he was taken to them."

00000

Naruto was surprised to see that Twilight lived inside a tree. And it was the public library to boot.

As Pinkie throttled her speed once they had arrived in view of the library, a relieved Naruto loosened the death grip he had held the pony's neck in. He rolled off of her back and landed on his buttocks.

"That," he began, gasping for air. "Was. Fast!"

"Yup!" the mare giggled. She then turned to the door of the tree/house/library and raised her hoof.

Tap tap tap tap tap. KNOCK KNOCK!

He could hear a female voice calling from inside.

"Oh Spike, could you get that!? I think it's Pinkie."

"Of course it's Pinkie," came the immediate retort from a young male voice. "She's the only pony who knocks like that."

Naruto sat up in time to see that what opened the door was not a pony, but a small purple lizard thing with green spinal frills.

"Hi Pinkie!" the creature greeted. It turned to look at Naruto with green, slitted, cat-like eyes. "What is that?"

"A human," chirped the pink mare.

Before Naruto could speak, the lizard turned back to Pinkie. "Have you shown it to Lyra yet?"

Frowning, Naruto interrupted the conversation with his best impression of a haughty voice. "It has already met Lyra and would appreciate not being talked about as if it weren't present."

"HOLY GUACAMOLE IT TALKS!"

Naruto face-palmed.

00000

"Pinkie, can you help Spike with the refreshments?" Twilight asked as she led Naruto to a chair where he could sit.

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

Twilight, a lavender-colored unicorn mare with a dark violet mane and tail, wore a loose-fitting black outfit. In her mane were two stripes: one purple and the other pink. She had a sheathed katana strapped to her back and wore metal bracers on her fetlocks. Upon her head she wore a weird crown thingy that had a six-pointed purple star gem mounted on it. Naruto idly noted that it looked a lot like the symbol he could see stitched into the flanks of her pants.

Naruto sat in the plush armchair Twilight indicated with a hoof. She then turned to one of the many bookshelves. Naruto saw a glow envelop her horn as well as a similar energy field wrap around a particular book on the shelf. Slowly, the tome floated towards her, pages flipping all the while, and stopped in front of her eyes.

Her purple eyes flitted several times between the tome and the young ninja.

"Huh," she sighed. "Are you sure you're a human?"

... the Hell? he thought. "May I see what you're looking at?"

The book rotated around. As soon as the page in question entered his field of vision, he started laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" the unicorn asked, obviously not getting the joke.

"That's a medical picture of the insides of a woman's body!"

"What!?" Embarrassed, Twilight tried to hide her blush behind the book.

"Here," he put his hand forward. "Let me help you find the one for the male body."

Naruto noticed that that the book and by extension Twilight's horn stopped glowing as soon as the book had been safely deposited in his hands. He thumbed through it until he found the appropriate diagram.

"I haven't fully studied human anatomy yet, but my insides look kinda like this," he said as he turned the book around.

Twilight blushed a bit. "I haven't even gotten to that book in my reading yet," she explained. "I only knew it contained information about humans because these books keep getting knocked off the shelves."

Naruto nodded. He sort of understood her problem, but only because he hadn't been able to read many books back home either - something about the public library never being able to keep his records up to date. He also swore that he always turned his books in early, but the librarian kept claiming that he turned them in late. After about the fourth time, Naruto simply gave up on trying to read.

Still, Naruto thought, I might be able to actually borrow books from this library.

The energy field enveloped the tome once again and when Naruto felt a tug on it and he released it from his grasp. It closed itself and floated back to the shelf before the glow disappeared again.

"How do you do that?" Naruto asked.

"Do what?" Twilight responded, confused.

"That glowy thing that made the book float."

"You mean telekinesis?" She looked puzzled.

"She's a unicorn," Spike said as he carried a tray with a teapot and cups into the room. He set the tray on a short table in between Naruto and Twilight before sitting on an ottoman. "Asking a unicorn how she uses telekinesis is like asking you or I how we use our thumbs."

"Spike," the mare admonished. "It's 'you or me' not 'you or I'."

Pinkie bounced into the room with a small, round cake balanced on her head. Giving a wink she tossed the cake into the air and jumped right behind it.

"Hi-YAH!"

She landed in front of the desk with her eyes closed, body contorted into a dramatic pose, wielding in the crook of her fetlock a freshly used spatula coated with frosting and crumbs as four identically cut pieces of cake landed on conveniently placed plates that hadn't been there before.

As she took a bow, Naruto couldn't help but clap. Spike was also applauding while Twilight was rubbing her face with a hoof.

"Pinkie," she began. "How many times have I asked you to not play with food in the library?"

Pinkie just grinned widely and instantly responded with: "Eleven!"

Twilight groaned as Naruto snickered.

00000

"So, Naruto," Twilight began. "Would you like to become a Pony Summoner?"

"Yeah," he replied. "You guys are pretty awesome!"

The unicorn nodded. She turned to Spike. "Take a letter."

The purple reptile pulled a scroll and a quill, seemingly from nowhere. "Right."

"Dear Princess Celestia, I am writing to you because we have a potential summoner sitting right here in the Ponyville Library. We request transportation to Canterlot so Uzumaki Naruto may sign the contract. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

"... kay, elle, eee. Done," reported Spike. He suddenly breathed green fire at the scroll which quickly disintegrated into a dense cloud of smoke that flew out of the window. "It's on its way!"

"Wait," Naruto began. "You can breathe fire?"

"Well, I am a dragon." Spike thrust his chest forward and held his head high - as high as he could, anyway.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Can dragons be summons?"

"Yes," responded Twilight. "But unlike other Summon Clans, dragons do not have a centralized contract. Each individual dragon has their own contract and their own requirements for being allowed to sign it."

"But you're allowed to sign any of their contracts in addition to ours!" Pinkie giggled.

Twilight continued from there. "Spike isn't old enough to generate his own contract yet, though."

Spike's face gained a downcast look, but he looked up when Naruto placed a hand on his head.

"Hey, cheer up! I'll sign yours when you get it!"

"Actually," retorted the dragon, "I won't have a contract for another fifty or so years."

"Then I'll have my grandchildren sign it! No worries!"

Spike beamed, showing his fangs. Suddenly, his cheeks puffed out and he turned away from the group. He belched out some flame and a scroll bearing a wax seal materialized from the smoke.

"Oh, a response from the Princess!" he exclaimed as he picked up the scroll and broke the seal.

"What's it say!?" Pinkie chanted several times while bouncing around the room like a bouncy ball on speed before Twilight stuck a hoof in her mouth.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Spike, and Uzumaki Naruto," the dragon read. "I have arranged for a skywagon to pick the four of you up in five minutes. As there was another matter of business I was going to request your assistance with, it was already on its way. As Princess Luna has regained her place as Contract Bearer, she will also be in the throne room to receive you. Sincerely, Princess Celestia."

"'Another matter of business'?" quoted Twilight. "I wonder what she wanted me to do?"

"I'm more interested in finding out how the Princess knew Pinkie was here," said Spike.

"What's a 'skywagon'?" Naruto asked.

00000

"Oh, that's a skywagon!"

A large carriage floated through the air pulled by four white pegasi in golden armor. All four of them had blue eyes and stoic expressions, even as they touched down in front of the library.

"Are they using some sort of bunshin technique?" Naruto whispered to Twilight.

She shook her head. "No, they wear special armor that makes them all appear identical to each other."

The blonde nodded, but he was still puzzled about something. "They don't seem very ninja-ish with that armor."

Twilight snorted in amusement. "They're more like samurai, Naruto."

"Ah."

00000

"FASTER!"

"Naruto!" Twilight admonished. "Please calm down! You're annoying the soldiers!"

"How can you tell!?" the child hollered back. He was attached to the bottom of the skywagon with the chakra he expelled from his feet.

The unicorn brought a hoof to her face. She had been escorted by the soldiers of the Royal Guard on many occasions and had learned the subtle tells as to their moods.

"WHEEEE!" giggled Pinkie as she held onto the hubcap of one of the wheels, allowing the motion of the skywagon to spin her.

Spike chuckled beside Twilight. "I think this is Pinkie's first skywagon ride too."

"Nope," Pinkie replied. "I just don't get to ride them often!"

Spike and Twilight turned to see her walking backwards on top of the wheel completely opposite from the one she was on before.

"How... ?"

"Did she just... ?"

Before they could complete their thought processes, one of the pegasi looked back and began speaking, distracting the unicorn and dragon.

"If all passengers would please be seated we will come in for a landing in Canterlot Castle."

He quickly turned back to his job. When Twilight and Spike looked around again, Pinkie was already in her seat and Naruto was climbing back into the passenger area.

00000

As the skywagon came to a gentle vertical landing, Naruto murmured something about an awesome idea for a prank.
Pinkie immediately said "I'll help!" to him when she heard what he had said.

The four pegasi guards unhitched themselves from the skywagon, causing it to sag in place, as if gravity had just remembered it existed. While Twilight, Spike, and Pinkie thought nothing of the phenomena, Naruto's mind focused on it.

Back home, even when going through the Ninja Academy, Naruto was seen as ignorant or stupid when it came to just about everything. For one, the blonde couldn't care less about the minutia of the history of the Elemental Nations because the names and dates ran together in his head and he had difficulty keeping them straight. It wasn't like they had pictures of these supposedly important historical figures. Additionally, to get attention, Naruto had to be willfully ignorant and a troublemaker.

The main problem was that the villagers didn't realize, or care, that Naruto was actually slightly dyslexic and his problems with reading could be dealt with by practicing. He was also a visual and kinesthetic learner, meaning that as long as he had pictures or visual aids, or he was being taught something by doing it, his memory would retain it a whole lot better than any lecture or text could teach him.

Additionally, Naruto had to be observant of certain odd details in order to pull off the pranks he was famous for or to be able to judge the moods of the various people around him.

He noticed that the skywagon became a lot heavier when the last of the pegasi guards ceased touching it. He wasn't sure why he had even noticed the strange occurrence, but he knew that the effect could potentially be powerful. Even duplicated if he could figure out how.

He shelved the information in the back of his mind and allowed the pegasi to escort them to the receiving room.
The doors on that side of the castle's keep were massive and ornate, covered with a mural depicting the sun on the left and the moon on the right. On either side of the doors were two unicorn guards, each a dark grey. They too wore golden armor.

The guards' horns glowed, making two differently-colored auras that enveloped the handles of the massive doors, turned them, and opened the doors.

Inside was a white unicorn wearing a more ornate set of armor than the rest of the guards. His stern face instantly brightened when he saw Twilight Sparkle.

"Twily!" he exclaimed, removing his helmet with his forehooves to reveal his blue eyes and indigo mane (with blue streaks).

"Shining!" she replied, rushing forward to hug the other unicorn. "Wow, you actually made Captain! When were you going to tell me?" She pushed away from him and glared at the taller stallion.

"Sorry Sis," he began. "I've been really busy with reorganizing the entire guard, which was necessary now that Princess Luna has returned. I meant to send you a letter though!"

He turned to see the remainder of the guests and focused immediately on the dragon. "Hey Spike! How you doin', buddy?"

"Alright," the dragon replied. "Twilight keeps me busy every time she finds something new to research."

"She's still having you reshelf books, huh?" The stallion chuckled, turning to his sister. "So, when are you going to introduce me to your friends?"

"Right," Twilight responded. "The pink one is Pinkie Pie, she's one of my best friends."

"Hi!" She waved. Suddenly, her hoof went behind her back and returned with a pristine cupcake with a lit candle in the middle of it. "Have a cupcake!"

Spike was the first one to speak after that weird occurrence. "Where did that come from?"

"Sugarcube Corner!"

Naruto chuckled.

Ignoring the pink mare's disregard for physics, Twilight then pointed a hoof at the blonde human. "That is Uzumaki Naruto - I just met him today. He wants to become the Pony Summoner. Guys? This is Captain Shining Armor, my older brother."

"Neat!" Pinkie exclaimed, smiling behind her veil.

Naruto, on the other hand, saluted Shining by brining two fingers to his eyebrow. After a second's hesitation, Shining saluted back.

This event would have startled most who knew Naruto personally, because it was known that the child did not respect authority just because they were authority. Rather, he was familiar and friendly with the few authority figures in his life that he came to respect, but he followed no formal protocol.

Still, Naruto wished to make a good impression on these ponies, so he saluted Shining Armor because he was a fellow soldier.

Ending the salute, Shining spoke to the human. "Tell me something about yourself, Naruto."

"I plan on being the Hokage, which is the strongest ninja in Konoha, in order to protect the ones I care for from those that would do them harm."

Shining snorted. "Impressive, but I meant something more casual. Something that has nothing to do with your career."

Naruto didn't even need two seconds to think of something. "I love ramen."

Twilight grimaced as Shining whooped in joy.

"Me too!" declared the guard captain. "I'm sure we'll get along just fine!"

00000

Twilight, Spike, Pinkie, and Naruto did not have long to wait until Shining Armor told them they could enter the throne room. The large stained-glass windows depicted scenes of battles long ago against various creatures including some that Naruto didn't know the names for. There were tall marble columns to support the ceiling from which dangled magnificent chandeliers. Instead of candles, special crystals that glowed with an ethereal light were mounted on the walls and chandeliers.

Two thrones, side by side, sat on a raised dais at the end of the room. One was pure white with golden accents and red velvet cushions, whereas its twin was the darkest black, with silver accents and pale blue cushions. Upon the first throne resided a large pony, at least twice the size of any pony Naruto had seen yet. She was white as snow, but had a prismatic mane and tail each of soft pastels which fluttered in an unfelt breeze. Around her horn she wore a tiara of gold. She wore golden slippers on her hooves. She also had massive wings like a pegasus and the mark on her flank was that of the brilliant sun.

From what Naruto had gathered, this mare was Princess Celestia, Monarch Primary of the Ponies. Her race was a special one called an "alicorn".

Seated on the black throne was a smaller, drowsy-looking alicorn of the deepest, darkest midnight blue. She wore a silver tiara and silver slippers. Her mane and tail looked like twin fields of stars that constantly shifted. On her flank was a dark patch with a crescent moon in its center. At her hooves was a huge scroll.

To Celestia's right was one of the pegasus guards. To Luna's left was a fifth kind of pony - this one had slitted eyes, much like Spike's, extremely pointy ears, and bat wings. The "batpony" was a dark ash grey with a dark blue mane.

The four guests, escorted by Shining Armor, approached the twin thrones on the plush red carpet. When Twilight and Spike bowed, Pinkie was quick to follow. Naruto, remembering only a little of etiquette training, bowed at the waist. Not knowing how far he was supposed to bow, he settled for bowing at a ninety-degree angle, using chakra to root himself to the floor so he didn't topple forward.

Naruto heard a gasp, but he also heard Shining clear his throat. Naruto took that as his cue to stop bowing. When he straightened, he found himself eye-to-eye with the Sun Princess. He was almost afraid to breathe as she inspected his face and hair. With a nod, the sudden violation of Naruto's personal space was over and Celestia returned to her throne. Figuring it was a personality quirk of the Princess, Naruto put it out of his mind.

Princess Luna opened her mouth to speak. Immediately, the batpony to her left covered his ears with his wings.

"WELCOME, TWILIGHT SPARKLE. WELCOME, PINKIE PIE. WELCOME, SPIKE THE DRAGON. WELCOME, HUMAN CHILD. WE HATH BEEN EXPECTING THEE!"

Pinkie and Twilight were rubbing their ears while Spike had fallen backwards from the force of the Princess's shout. Naruto simply swallowed to fix the pressure in his ears; his Academy instructor, Umino Iruka tended to shout at about that volume, so Naruto was inured to it. The blonde spared a side-glance to Shining Armor and found that the stallion's entire head was encased in an energy aura, probably to block out the sound.

"I'm surprised none of their ears are bleeding," joked Celestia.

"WHY DOST THOU JOKE, DEAR SISTER? AND WHY ARE THOU NOT SPEAKING WITH THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE?"

Celestia blinked at her younger sister for a moment before voicing her reply. "I haven't told you, have I? The use of the Royal Canterlot Voice has been out of practice for nearly nine-hundred years."

"AND THOU WAS GOING TO INFORM US OF THIS... WHEN?"

"Quieter, Your Majesty," requested the batpony.

"How about now?"

"A little lower," the guard suggested as he folded his wings up against his sides.

"And now?"

"Perfect, Your Majesty."

Naruto noticed that Shining's technique to dampen sound was still running so he poked the stallion in the ribs as surreptitiously as possible. The bubble of energy enveloping his head disappeared quickly.

"Human Child, come forth, if thou wouldst."

Naruto stepped forward, making certain to stand equidistant from each throne.

"Thou wishes to sign the Pony Contract, yes?"

"I do," the blonde replied as seriously as possible.

"Unfortunately," Celestia began. "It is not as simple as asking to be allowed to sign it."

"Indeed," Luna agreed. "Though we dost not have a summoner, it dost not mean we will lowerest our standards."

"A trial of valor will be issued to you, Naruto," the older alicorn continued. "Please step back, as it coincides with the assignment I have for Twilight and her friends."

Naruto nodded as stiffly as he could manage before returning to stand next to Pinkie.

"Twilight Sparkle," Celestia said. "A large dragon has taken roost at the heights of Whistling Peak. Normally, I would allow it to slumber there uninterrupted, but this particular dragon snores. As you have experienced with Spike, when a dragon snores, they exhale smoke. This dragon's smoke is so thick and voluminous that it could cover much of Equestria in a dark haze if left unchecked. You are to take the other five Bearers of the Elements and persuade him to leave. If he refuses, you are authorized to resort to other methods. Take Naruto with you. The Night Guard to Luna's left will accompany you to observe his behavior."

She then turned her head so that Naruto knew she was talking directly to him. "You are to help them remove the dragon. If it comes to the worst possible outcome, you are to help Twilight and her friends escape."

Naruto swallowed. "Yes, Ma'am."

00000

End Chapter One.

Next Chapter: the other Four Elements, and a dragon.

Author's Note

Crap. I know I promised that the next chapter I'd finish would be for "The Laughing Fox", but this particular plot bunny would not leave me alone.

Kusari-Gama is an interesting OC toad, actually. The weapon he uses is also called a kusari-gama. Considering that Japanese humor is huge on puns, and "gama" can also mean toad, the choice was obvious. Anyone may use him in their fanfic.

Many thanks to Dumbledork who edited this not once, but TWICE for me. Dumbles, you are a gentleman and a scholar and an excellent beta reader. Don't ever change (but if you do absolutely have to change, you should become Dorkswirl the Bearded).

Those who are bronies will note that I have adapted Equestria to fit within the Summon Realm of Naruto fannon. I have obviously adapted the ponies to be ninja or samurai. Those who are Narutards are probably going to tell me how much I suck in reviews on FanFiction.net
I will preemptively tell you all that I'm only going to listen to constructive criticism and that your flames will be sent to the moon.

Just gonna say one thing: while this and "Brothers" are posted on both FanFiction and FiMFiction, my next brony story (and there is one coming) will be a FiMFiction exclusive.

Oh yes, one term that some people who read this story may not be familiar with: bunshin is the Japanese word for "clone". In ninja terms, a bunshin is a copy generated to confuse enemies, but some types of bunshin can also perform attacks.

02-27-2013: Minor dialogue edits. Hopefully Naruto is more "in-character".

Can Mountains Whistle?

Your Summon is Pink
by 5007 (aka Lord Dragon Claw)

Disclaimer: Those who are both bronies and Narutards should be called bronutardies! ... maybe.

Chapter Two: Can Mountains Whistle?

00000

Shining Armor led them out of the castle, the dark-gray bat-pony following close behind. Out of curiosity, Naruto turned to ask him a few questions.

"So, what's your name?"

The Night Guard, who had green eyes, didn't answer for a moment. "The name I had before I became an opliptera was Figgaro Puddun. My family is in the confection business. I have been assigned the number 'Seven', though Princess Luna insists on calling me 'Figgy'."

Pinkie snorted in amusement.

"Opliptera?" Naruto repeated.

Seven nodded. "Becoming an opliptera is to receive the Blessing of Night. Only earth ponies can receive the Blessing."

"Indeed," added Shining. "As you have probably noticed, not a single earth pony is in the ranks of the actual visible Guard, nor are they among the Knights. Everypony you see is either a unicorn or a pegasus. Earth ponies may join the Royal Ninja Corps if they wish to serve the crown directly."

"And since the return of Princess Luna," the opliptera continued, "The earth ponies who have joined the RNC may receive the Blessing and become Night Guards. We are different from the Day Guards in that we are initially trained as ninja instead of knights."

"What should I call you then?" Naruto asked, not really caring for the complicated politics of his summons; he did understand that it was important to know, but it annoyed him greatly.

"'Seven' when on missions. You may call me 'Figgaro' when we have downtime."

"... but never 'late for dinner', right?"

The stallion gave him a strange look.

"Spike," Twilight began, a few feet ahead of the stallions and the boy, "I'm sure Fluttershy will be worried about her animal friends as we make our way to Whistling Peak."

"Do you want me to look after them?" inquired the drakeling. "I can do that."

"Twilight, can mountains whistle?" asked Pinkie.

"Uh, what?"

Naruto chuckled lightly as Shining and Seven cocked their heads.

"Why would the mountain be called Whistling Peak if it didn't whistle?" Pinkie explained.

"Pinkie," Naruto began, causing the mare to turn her head towards him, "I believe it is called that because the wind makes a whistling sound near the top of the mountain."

"Ohhh."

00000

As they approached the courtyard where another team of pegasi in Guard armor were being hitched to a skywagon, a very large pegasus in silver-trimmed armor began walking towards the group. Shining increased his pace, putting him at the front of the pack and meeting the dark brown pegasus halfway. The unicorn stallion saluted the flame-haired pegasus mare as she returned the salute.

"Captain Shining Armor," she greeted, her voice a bit gruff.

"Captain Meteor Strike," he responded. "I take it that these are the soldiers that are going to escort my sister and her friends safely to Ponyville?"

"Indeed," she confirmed. She then turned her golden eyes to Naruto. "So this is the boy who may yet summon us?"

"Yes Ma'am," Naruto said as he saluted, two fingers to his brow.

She laughed. "No need for a salute, child. I don't really have authority over you."

Naruto smiled. "It still isn't very often that I meet a superior officer that I like."

Her throat roared in mirth. "A charmer with a forked tongue as well!"

She stepped forwards and mussed his hair with a wing tip. "I do hope you pass this test - I hope to work with you."

She was suddenly gone in a gust of air as she rocketed into the sky.

It was a moment before anyone said anything to break the stunned silence that followed.

"I bet she's great at Pegahoops," Pinkie commented.

00000

The ride back to Ponyville was rather uneventful aside from Twilight dictating four different notes addressed to mares known as Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, in that order. Spike breathed green flames on each note and they disappeared, their smoke trails speeding off ahead of the charging pegasus Guards.
When they landed, four mares, two of which were armored, were waiting outside the library tree. A white rabbit stood atop the head of a yellow pegasus, a belt of kunai strapped to its back.

Twilight stepped out of the skywagon first, followed by Pinkie, Spike, and Naruto as Seven alighted on top of the mailbox outside the library.

"Okay girls, listen up!" Twilight said with authority.

The aforementioned yellow pegasus seemed to cringe slightly while hiding her face behind her long, pink mane. The rabbit on her head saluted though. Her mane did not hide the fact that she wore a necklace similar to Pinkie's, but with a collection of gems shaped into a butterfly motif instead of a balloon. Her forest-green bodysuit had a plethora of pockets stuffed with various small scrolls and other supplies.

Next to her, an orange earth pony mare tilted her Stetson hat back slightly, revealing a long, blonde mane with a jade ring at the end to cinch it together. Her tail was similarly adorned. She wore brown armor plating over a tan bodysuit. Around her throat was another necklace, this time an apple-shaped gem in its center.

Saluting next to her was another pegasus mare with a cyan coat. Her mane and tail were each seven different colors making a rainbow pattern. She wore a set of armor that seemed to have been fashioned out of the scales of some large lizard, possibly a dragon. Her armor appeared to be patterned after the Royal Guard but with several differences: it appeared to be made of significantly less material to allow for freedom of movement and did not have a chain/mesh bodysuit. Instead, the armor was merely strapped on with strips of leather. Painted on the sides of her armor was a rainbow-colored lightning bolt coming from a cloud which matched the gemstone resting on her throat.

The final mare was a white unicorn with a purple, coifed mane and a similarly coifed tail. She wore a simple red kimono with a purple floral pattern print. Strapped to her back were what appeared to be several large scrolls. Like Pinkie, her face was covered in a veil but this one was sheer, allowing Naruto to see her muzzle. Within the center of her necklace was a simple blue gemstone cut into a rhombus-shape. She was calmly paying attention to Twilight.

"Like I said in the notes I sent you, the Princesses have a special mission for us. To ensure we are successful, this human boy is to come with us."

Said human nodded.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, the future Hokage!" he boasted getting a mixed reaction from the four mares.

"The Night Guard, Seven, will be accompanying us as well to evaluate Naruto's behavior. Assuming that his performance is satisfactory, the Princesses will allow him to be the first human to sign the Contract."

The girls made a collective gasp before allowing Twilight to continue.

"I assume you have noticed the dark cloud forming around Whistling Peak to the west?"

While the yellow pegasus nodded, meek as can be, the other three took a quick glance to see the black shape obscuring the top of the mountain.

"What is it?" asked the rainbow pegasus.

"It's smoke."

"Oh horseapples," muttered the orange pony.

"But it's not from a fire," continued the purple unicorn, eliciting a sigh of relief from the other ponies. "It's from a dragon."

While the cyan mare grinned and flared her wings, the yellow one squeaked and shuddered. The white mare looked contemplative whereas the orange one facehoofed.

"It's our job to remove the dragon by diplomatic means if possible or by force if necessary. We move out in ten minutes."

With that, Twilight and Spike headed inside the library, the purple mare using her telekinesis to open the door.

The cyan mare snorted. "Ten minutes isn't enough time for us all to introduce ourselves to Naruto here."

"You can still try!" replied Pinkie, bouncing in place.

The mare with the multicolored mane shook her head and stepped forward.

"Name's Rainbow Dash."

"Nice to meet you. What kind of armor is that?"

"Dragonhide," Dash responded. "Isn't it awesome? It belonged to my father."

"Are you sure the dragon on the mountain isn't going to be pissed about your armor?"

"Kid, I'm going to be there to help fight if necessary. I'm not a diplomat - that what Twilight's for."

As she stepped back, the orange mare came forward.

"Nice to meet ya, sugarcube," she said, somehow grasping Naruto's hand with her hoof. "Name's Applejack. Ah run the local apple farm an' the local militia."

"Nice to meet you too," replied the blonde. "What's your armor made of?"

"A special ceramic compound that absorbs magic."

"Magic?"

"Right. Ya'll humans call it 'chakra'. In fact, most of the other summons call it that too."

The white mare was the next to step forward.

"My name is Rarity," she said, holding out her hoof to the boy.

"Nice to meet you," he said in response, shaking the hoof.

She sighed. "Looks like I'm going to have to teach you some manners, Naruto-san. Especially if you wish to become a leader in your own country."

"Huh?"

Rarity smiled. "When a lady presents her hoof or hand, you are supposed to carefully grasp it and kiss the top of it."

"Oh," Naruto said, looking dejected.

"Not to worry dear," she giggled, "we can work on etiquette later, assuming you pass Celestia's and Luna's test."

She stepped back and tried to usher the yellow mare forward. She squeaked and shook her head, but the white rabbit sitting on the crown of her head rolled his eyes and hopped off towards Naruto. He put his arms out and deftly caught it. The rabbit glared right into Naruto's cerulean orbs; Naruto glared right back. After a moment, the rabbit smirked and waved towards the yellow mare.

"O-okay Angel," she stammered at a barely audible volume. She stepped forwards, cowering slightly. "Um, I'm ..." She trailed off, giving Naruto no chance to hear her name clearly.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't catch that."

She squeaked in fear. Naruto smiled, finding the behavior adorable. He quickly thought back to when Twilight was sending missives to other ponies, which he presumed to have been these four mares.

"You're Fluttershy, right?"

Hiding her face behind her mane, she nodded.

"What can you do?"

"Um, I'm a m-medic," she whispered.

"And what about the rabbit here?" he asked, looking at the smirking lagomorph.

"He's a demon in taijutsu, that one," Applejack piped up. "Ah've never seen a familiar defend their owner with such ferocity."

At that point, the library door opened again, Twilight stepping out. She was levitating a sheet of parchment. Angel hopped out of Naruto's arms and back onto Fluttershy's head.

"I'm sorry everypony, for taking so long," she said. "We couldn't find the map to Whistling Peak because it wasn't where it was supposed to go."

"Yes it was," grumbled Spike.

She hovered the map in front of her as she looked towards the mountain, muttering every so often.

Fluttershy edged her way over to Twilight and whispered something to her. Naruto didn't catch the conversation as Seven trotted over.

"So you have met the Elements of Harmony," the opliptera began. "Rather, you met the Bearers of the Elements. They are national heroes."

"Oh? How so?"

"They freed Princess Luna from the curse of Nightmare Moon. Because they liberated her from that madness, she was able to return to her sister's side and allowed her to be able to grant the Blessing of Night again. Without these six mares, I'd still be stuck in the RNC and would never be able to join the Guard."

"Why not? Why aren't earth ponies allowed to join the Royal Guard?"

"It has to do with the abilities of each race-" Seven gestured with a hoof towards Twilight. "-unicorns can project magic and cast it outside their bodies. And pegasi-" He then pointed at Rainbow Dash. "-can manipulate the weather with their magic. But earth ponies must use their chakra internally for the most part. Becoming opliptera grants us additional abilities and allows us to guard the Princesses from all threats, not just the outright physical ones."

"What!?" exclaimed Twilight, grabbing Naruto's and Seven's attention. "Fluttershy, we need you to come. You have valuable experience that pertains to diplomatic relations with dragons. Besides, what if we need to use the Elements?"

As Twilight turned back to her map, Fluttershy squeaked and stammered before she gave up.

"Also," the unicorn added, "Spike is going to look after your animal friends in the meadow."

"Just leave it to me!" the dragon chirped, a couple of birds perched on his green head frills, with a squirrel curled up in one claw and a snake wrapped around the other.

For some unknown reason, the various animals near Spike suddenly fled in different directions. Grunting in annoyance, the purple drakeling chased after the snake first, to ensure it didn't eat any of the other animals.

Without having paid any attention to her dragon assistant, Twilight Sparkle rolled up her map and placed it within her saddlebag before speaking. "See? Spike's got the situation in hoof. I mean claw."

"But he doesn't seem up to..." Fluttershy murmured before closing her eyes and hiding her face further behind her mane. "I mean..." She then squeaked.

"Okay!" Twilight snapped, reminding Naruto of a Chuunin giving out orders. "Squad, let's move out!"

The lavender unicorn sped down the road out of town, setting a strenuous pace that none of the other mares had difficulty keeping up with. Seven took to the air while Naruto had to run to match the speed the ponies displayed. Still, thanks to the demonic aberration sealed within the blonde, he was able to run alongside the mares the entire distance to the base of Whistling Peak.

00000

Naruto had to lean back a good distance, sticking to the ground with an application of chakra, just to see the top of Whistling Peak. It was an immense mountain with an almost sheer rock face. Naruto took a closer look at the stone to find many porous holes peppering most of the mountain. If he remembered correctly, such stone was called "igneous" and was the result of volcanic activity, meaning that Whistling Peak may have been a volcano in the distant past and was now extinct. Or that it was merely sleeping. Considering that it was less than a day's run from Ponyville, Naruto hoped it was the former.

The mares wasted no time walking up the nigh-vertical cliff to reach the first plateau. Rainbow Dash hovered above the group, Seven keeping pace with her. Naruto was surprised to see that only Twilight and Pinkie were actually using chakra to stick to the rough stone. He was about to ask why Applejack and Rarity weren't using their chakra when Twilight noticed that they had left Fluttershy behind.

Naruto turned around to see Angel giving a bush at the base of the rock wall a glare.

"Come on, Fluttershy!" the lavender mare coaxed. "We need the medic to keep up!"

The yellow mare poked her head out of the bush and muttered something about the mountain being too high.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. Isn't she a pegasus? Doesn't she like flying?

"It is a mountain!" shouted Rainbow Dash. "You could just fly up it, you know!"

The medic poked her hoof at the ground for a couple of seconds before extending her wings and flapping them, gaining altitude. However, when she was about three meters off of the ground, the echo of the slumbering dragon's snore reached them. Fluttershy's pupils shrank in size as her wings suddenly folded against the sides of her body. She fell right into the bush she had been hiding in earlier.

Angel brought a forepaw to his forehead with a resounding "thwack". The mare crawled out of the shrub and tried to pry her wings from the sides of her body, to no avail.
Naruto rolled his eyes and began hopping his way back down the mountain. By the time he got to the bottom, another draconic snore reached their range of hearing and the yellow mare flipped over onto her back, trembling in fear. Naruto shrugged, figuring that she might be afraid of dragons.

"Naruto," called Twilight, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to carry Fluttershy up the mountain!" Naruto called back as he began gathering his chakra.

"No offense, sugarcube, but Ah don't think ya got enough muscle-power to pull that one off," called Applejack.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he put his index and middle fingers of both hands into a cross formation. By putting forth a massive amount of chakra, Naruto began his signature jutsu. The remaining chakra in his body was split evenly into seven portions, one of which he kept himself.

"Kagebunshin no jutsu!" yelled the blonde as an explosion of smoke surrounded him.

The chakra smoke quickly cleared to reveal seven Narutos. One of them barked commands for the rest of them to carry the yellow mare up the mountain. That particular blonde human turned to see Angel rubbing his chin in thought.

"Coming, Angel?"

The rabbit nodded and leapt into Naruto's arms. The thirteen-year-old ninja began walking up the side of the cliff, while his clones, carrying the catatonic mare, followed behind.

My life has gotten surreal, he thought.

"What kind of spell is that!?" exclaimed the lavender mare when Naruto caught up with her.

"It's a ninjutsu," he replied. "One that I'm really good at!"

"I can tell they're solid," murmured Twilight. "I can create illusionary copies, but none that are actually physically there! What are they composed of?"

"From what I remember from the description on the scroll, they are made of shadows and chakra given solid form. There was some sort of technical babble about memory that went along with it, but I didn't understand it."

"Hmmm," Twilight hummed, obviously in thought.

00000

After fifteen minutes, Fluttershy regained consciousness and the clones put her down. She was confused to see seven blonde humans, all identical to one another.

"Boss," one of the clones said. "She's awake!"

Naruto nodded and dispelled the clones. His head began to throb for a short moment.

He suddenly had six sets of memories of carrying the yellow mare. One of the sets of memories was of being frustrated by the mare's pink hair and how it kept getting in his face.

Weirdest experience ever, he thought to himself. He turned his head to see Twilight's expectant look. "What?"

"Your left eyebrow twitched and you had a slight grimace," she replied. "It only happened once your bunshin evaporated into smoke. Have you never had them running for longer than a few minutes?"

While still cradling Angel with his left hand, Naruto rubbed his chin with his right. "Come to think of it, no. I haven't."

"Do you suddenly remember carrying Fluttershy?"

"Actually, yes."

Twilight grinned. "I have an idea I'd like to try once we return to Ponyville."

It was only a few minutes later that they came upon a gap in the pathway. They were on a smaller part of Whistling Peak and would have to walk on open air to get onto the mountain proper. Seven and Rainbow simply hovered across whereas Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie jumped the distance. Following them were Twilight and Naruto, who both easily made the leap. Fluttershy peeked over the ledge and crouched down, shuddering.

Rainbow dragged a hoof across her face and groaned. "Sometimes that mare gets on my nerves."

Twilight, ignoring the comments that the dragonhide-wearing mare was making, called out to Fluttershy. "What's wrong?"

"I-it's too high!" she whimpered.

"You can do it!" Pinkie cheered. "It's just a hop, skip, and a jump!"

"We don't have time for this," murmured Rainbow as Pinkie began singing, easily leaping back and forth over the gap.

"Come on and move your little rump,
"It's just a hop, skip, and a jump!"

Fluttershy smiled slightly and tried to follow Pinkie's example. "A hop, skip-"

"Just don't look down!" Twilight blurted out, immediately covering her mouth with a hoof.

Unfortunately, as psychology dictates, Fluttershy did the one thing she was told not to do. She looked down and panicked.

Luckily, the gap wasn't actually that wide as she reached the far end with her front hooves. Her rear hooves were still firmly planted on the side she started from, but her form was shivering in terror.

"She's a pegasus who's afraid of heights," commented Naruto, eliciting a chuckle from Seven. "Now I've seen everything."

Angel leapt from Naruto's arms and kicked off of his nose, landing on Seven's head. Before the stallion could react, the rabbit began stomping on his nose. "Owowowowowowowowowowowow!"

Angel quickly jumped onto Pinkie's back and stuck his tongue out at the human and opliptera as the gray stallion rubbed his nose.

Naruto shook his head and created a pair of shadow clones on the other side to push Fluttershy across the gap safely. Rarity helped by using a bolt of cloth to pull the frightened mare.

"'Sokay, Fluttershy," Applejack coaxed. "Yer on solid ground now."

00000

After a few minutes of walking, Twilight warned the rest of the party of impending danger. "My map says that this next stretch is an avalanche zone, so we need to be quiet."

"Ava- ava-" stuttered Fluttershy only to be shushed by Rainbow and Rarity.

Naruto, seeing a potential problem with how jumpy the medic pony was, began building his chakra and held onto it for immediate use.

There were several minutes of pregnant silence as the group snuck down the path, but Naruto noticed a little too late when Rainbow accidentally brushed the branch of a tree. A few leaves began to gently glide down and one of them landed on Fluttershy's tail. As the mare freaked out, screaming "AVALANCHE!" (before getting cut off by Applejack's armored hoof being stuck in her mouth), Naruto quickly spawned about a hundred shadow clones who raced up the side of the cliff in an effort to intercept any large rocks or boulders that may have begun to roll down the mountain.

As the ground began to rumble, the party began to run. The larger boulders that Naruto's clones couldn't redirect were smashed to dust by Seven. The opliptera was wreathed in a dark aura as he punched the stones, reducing each to rubble. The smaller rocks then burst apart as residual energy from Seven's aura shattered them.
Applejack made use of her powerful legs and kicked away many of the stones while Fluttershy hid near her. Pinkie slashed at the ones she couldn't dodge with a gigantic baker's peel, bisecting them. One of Naruto's clones noticed that the utensil was vibrating for some reason before he was dispelled by an unlucky rock to the head.
Naruto made good use of the kawarimi no jutsu (Body Replacement Technique), switching himself with stones that were about his weight to avoid being hit by any boulders he or his clones couldn't knock away.

Rarity used the scrolls on her back to create an elastic awning above her head, causing most of the rubble above her to bounce away. Twilight shared this shelter with her and used her magic to blast any boulders too big and heavy for Rarity's cloth shield to deal with.

Rainbow simply dodged everything the mountain tried to drop on her while keeping an eye out for any rocks that might blind-side her companions. She redirected a few that wouldn't have been stopped by the others.

As the dust cleared, the group discovered that the path ahead had been turned into a mess of dirt and rubble which would seriously impede any progress forward. Similarly, the path behind them had rubble strewn all about it and would hinder their ability to retreat.

Naruto coughed out "Nobody's stone-cold, are they?" earning him a couple of glares for the pun.

Seven shook his head and landed next to Naruto. "I do not like the looks of this. This rubble could seriously hinder our retreat if we needed to get the mares out of here."

Naruto nodded as his remaining clones tried to shift some of the rubble off of the path to clear it, but much of the earth had settled and was difficult to move.

"I do think we still need to at least try to get that dragon off of the mountain," he replied. "None of us are injured and it would be shameful to just give up when we're almost to the top."

Seven wore an unreadable expression, not showing approval for the plan, but also lacking any reservations about going through with it. Naruto realized that this was simply part of his test: whether he would play it safe and retreat or if he would press on and get the job done.

Inwardly, Naruto sighed. Just like the Chuunin Exams - this test is obviously a mind-game. He hoped he was making the right decision by pressing forward, similarly to how he had pressed on in the Chuunin Exams so far.

Applejack then caught Naruto's attention as the armored mare began gathering chakra. While the boy had piss-poor sensing ability, even he could feel the chakra she was putting out. She charged at the pile of boulders in front of them and cried out in exertion.

"Doton: Taiseki Ishibiya!" (Earth Release: Boulder Cannon)

She swung around on her forehooves, using her momentum to kick the nearest large stone with her rear legs. It rocketed into the pile of rubble, blasting most of the boulders off of the path and into the valley below.

Pinkie bounced over to Applejack. "Where'd you learn a move like that, A.J.?"

"Muh Pa taught it to me before he and Ma died," she replied.

Pinkie's ears drooped as she realized that she must have brought up painful memories for Applejack, but the farmpony was having none of that.

"Now don't ya git all sad on me now!" she chastised, her tone playful.

"Why would your father know such a jutsu?" Twilight asked, her curiosity overriding any reservations she might have had about another pony's deceased parents.

"He either invented it or learned it so he could git rid of rocks that got in th' way of the plow," she replied, closing her eyes. A blissful smile staked claim on her face shortly after.

"Applejack," Naruto began, an idea forming in his head. "I don't like the idea that our path down the mountain is blocked when we have a potential enemy is in front of us. Do you think you have enough chakra to perform that feat again?"

"Ya'll want an escape route?" she snapped. "Us Apples don't ever run from a fight!"

Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind Seven. The opliptera simply watched with a stoic expression.

"It's not running away!" Naruto shouted back. "It's a tactical withdrawal! I'd rather complete the mission at a future time than lose any teammates and fail the mission!"

Applejack stomped up to Naruto and glared into his eyes. Naruto glared right back at her, neither of them flinching in the slightest.

Naruto could hear some muttering between Rainbow, Rarity, and Twilight.

"Ten bits on A.J."

"A lady never gambles, Darling."

"How 'bout you, Twilight?"

"No thanks."

"Spoilsport..."

After several tense moments, the orange mare opened her mouth.

"So yer gunna give up if'n things get too hairy up there?"

"No, we'll just come back again later with greater numbers."

Applejack slowly smirked at this. Without a word, she side-stepped the human and charged at the rubble blocking their path back down.

00000

Near the top of Whistling Peak, the group of seven ponies (plus one human) finally reached a small plateau. As they cleared the final ledge, they could see the gaping maw of a cave, black smoke billowing out of its depths.

"Alright," Twilight began. "Here's the plan: Rainbow, your job is to hide in the smoke above and strike should the dragon wish to fight. Pinkie and Rarity are to provide a distraction-"

The purple unicorn trailed off as the fuchsia mare pulled a pair of rubber chickens out from nowhere, tied by their necks with a braided cord. Rarity merely shrugged at Pinkie's act and gestured for Twilight to continue.

"- while Applejack and Seven go for the eyes. But hopefully it won't come to that." She turned to the yellow pegasus, eliciting a squeak from Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, Naruto, and I will do what we need to do to wake the dragon and persuade him to leave. Everypony ready?"

After getting affirmative answers from most of the group, Twilight trotted into the mouth of the cavern, Naruto close behind.

"Fluttershy, you're the animal expert. What is the best way to wake a sleeping dragon?"

"Uh," replied Naruto. "She stayed outside, actually."

"What!?" she scoffed. "We don't have time for this!"

She quickly cantered back to find that Fluttershy had stuck her head in a hole in the dirt. Using her telekinesis, she yanked on the pegasus' tail.
Naruto stood just inside the mouth of the cave and watched the mares argue over whether Fluttershy should go into the cave to face the dragon or not. Seven soon joined him.

"Do you have a plan?" the dark gray pony asked.

"I'm going to have shadow clones holding a kawarimi to be able to get the girls out of the line of fire if necessary."

The opliptera nodded.

After ten minutes, Fluttershy walked away from the cave, Angel close behind. Shrugging, Naruto created thirteen shadow clones and sent two to follow the pegasus and her rabbit.

Twilight sighed before she entered the cavern's mouth, one of the Narutos following close behind.

The various Narutos shook their heads when the lavender mare tried to look at things optimistically.

"He probably doesn't even know what he's doing, right?"

The other four mares, hiding outside, voiced their agreement. The Naruto following Twilight looked up to see Seven crawling along the roof of the cave, weaving silently through the stalagmites.

They found the dragon not far from the entrance, snoring atop a pile of gems and gold large enough to gild the entire Hokage Monument back in Konoha. The wyrm himself was a massive red beast with a long beak of a mouth filled with hundreds of razor-sharp teeth. His dark green spines led from the back of his head all the way to the tip of his tail. Clutched in his massive talons were piles of various gems and other riches and treasures.

"Excuse me," Twilight said loud enough to not quite count as shouting. The dragon's eyes snapped open, slitted irises focusing immediately on the source of the noise. The yellow eyes revealed a great deal of intelligence and a touch of irritation at being woken.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle," she continued. "And the human is Naruto. My friends and I are citizens of Equestria-"

Before she could continue, the wyrm snorted out a cloud of smoke, choking the mare and Naruto's clone. But she pressed on.

"-Ponyville, to be exact. Normally, we'd just let a dragon sleep wherever he or she wanted, but your snoring is producing a great deal of smoke. Equestria can't survive the next one hundred years in a dark haze."

She stepped closer to the muzzle of the dragon, causing him to lift his head to reveal a set of tan-yellow underscales running down his throat and over his stomach.

"You understand, don't you?" she pleaded.

The dragon sat on his haunches and stretched, scratching his sides.

"So you'll leave?"

As a retort, the wyrm merely collapsed back onto his hoard before blowing a great cloud of smoke at Twilight and Naruto, driving them out of the cave, hacking and coughing.

00000

Trying again, Rarity and a Naruto clone entered the cavern to try and get the dragon to leave.

"So sorry to in-ter-ru-upt!" sang the white mare.

Confused, the wyrm opened his eyes.

"I apologize, but I just couldn't leave without mentioning how handsome you are."

Blinking, the dragon smiled.

"It's obvious that you take such good care of your scales. And your spines? Simply gorgeous!"

At the mention of the spines, they raised up straighter than they were before.

"Too bad they have to be hidden away in this silly, dark cave."

The wyrm grumbled a bit in agreement.

"In my opinion, you should be out there, showing them off!"

Grinning, he sat up on his haunches and ran his claws over his spines. Naruto then took note of Rarity, who had put quite a bit of jewelry on her person.

"I'd be more than happy to watch your gems while you're gone..."

The wyrm growled immediately. "I may have hatched at night, but it wasn't last night!"

With surprising quickness, the dragon slammed his forearm into the floor between Rarity and his horde, dragging that portion back to the main pile. Rarity giggled nervously before running back towards the mouth, dropping the precious items she tried to pilfer. The wyrm then slammed his fist down on the Naruto clone, dispelling it immediately.

00000

Why do I suddenly know what it's like to be crushed to death? Naruto wondered as Rarity made it outside.

As the white mare started lamenting about her inability to snag some gems (to the irritation of Twilight), the blonde ninja noticed Pinkie Pie wearing some sort of strange getup over her ninja outfit. She was wearing what looked like a gift box, some really big sunglasses, eight balloons tied to her tail, and a flipper on each hoof. Her veil had been removed to make room for the kazoo she held in her lips.

As Twilight chastised Rarity, Naruto sent a clone with Pinkie as she entered the mouth of the cave.

All the mares stopped arguing when they heard Pinkie blow on her kazoo and yell out "Hi!"

The dragon roared and the sound of popping balloons was heard. Pinkie was sent rocketing out of the cavern landing on her back. The box costume was badly damaged, none of the balloons had survived, and the sunglasses were missing a lens.

"Good thing your clone was there," Pinkie groaned. "I might have suffered broken bones if he hadn't jumped in the way."

Rolling onto her hooves, she added: "I don't think he likes sharing. Or laughter."

"That's IT!" yelled Rainbow, catching the attention of all the others. "We've tried persuasion, charm, whatever it is Pinkie Pie does-" She pumped her hoof. "-and none of them have worked. Diplomacy has failed!"

She rushed into the cave ignoring Applejack's shout of protest.

"GET OUT!" they heard her shout just before a crashing sound. The sound was followed by a roar. One of Naruto's clones switched with Ranbow inside the cave just as the interior lit up with dragonfire. The blonde winced as he suddenly knew how roasting alive would feel like.

His remaining clones scattered before the wyrm charged out of the cave. Seven was flitting about the dragon's head, turning to smoke on multiple occasions, trying his best to stick a blade in the dragon's eye. Furious, the wyrm snapped his jaws, clamping the tip of Seven's tail between his lips, forcing the opliptera to turn solid. He swung his head as he released the Night Guard's appendage, sending the opliptera crashing into a charging Applejack. The wyrm slapped Rainbow out of the sky with a wing as he used his tail to knock Twilight and Rarity off of their feet. Pinkie tried jumping at his neck, a gigantic, sharpened baker's peel swinging to lop off the dragon's head.

Of course, the dragon objected to that and punched Pinkie with his left claw, his right catching the utensil by the handle. The unfortunate mare was sent straight into the pile of other ponies, forcing them to tumble into a boulder. Applejack's head was the first thing to hit it, causing it to crack and crumble to dust.

As the wyrm was going to attack the dazed equines, he found his muzzle clamped shut against his will. His wings were painfully tied down to his sides, as his tail was rendered immobile. Each of his claws was pulled away from his center. He turned his head to see a number of Narutos each holding a wire restraining different part of his body. Just as he was about to thrash around, a yellow and pink something landed on his snout.

"How dare you!?" growled Fluttershy. "HOW DARE YOU!?"

He was so shocked by the anger in the little pony's voice that he stopped struggling immediately. It also didn't help that the gemstone on her throat was glowing.

"Just because you're big, it doesn't mean that you get to hurt my friends!" She stomped along his face until she was right in his eye. "You got that!?"

He frowned before she yelled at him. Her necklace responded by shining brightly.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?"

He swallowed. "Yes." He quickly regained his nerve. "But that rainbow one kicked me!"

"And I'm very sorry about that," she replied with less heat. "But that doesn't give you the right to retaliate with violence. Besides, you're bigger than her - you should know better."

Naruto cocked his head for a moment, confused while the dragon stammered a response.

"But I-"

"Don't you 'but I' me, mister!"

Upside-down to the wyrm's perspective, Naruto peeked into his vision. "You should listen to the lady."

The dragon looked up with his eyes to see the human ninja standing on his brow, a naked katana poised to stab him in the eye. A quick glance at the semi-conscious lavender mare showed that across her back was an empty sheath.

"Besides," Fluttershy began, regaining the wyrm's attention, "you should know better than to take your nap where your smoke may cause a health hazard to creatures weaker than you."

"Hn," he murmured. "Very well. Release me from my bonds and I will move my lair."

While Fluttershy smiled, Naruto frowned. "I didn't hear you say you wouldn't kill us once we released you, Scaley."

Just before Fluttershy could chastise Naruto, the wyrm chuckled. "Smart boy. I suppose you would need some form of insurance?"

Naruto had a sudden flash of inspiration. "Your Contract."

The dragon grinned. "Indeed. I could let you sign the Contract, but only if you agree to summon me for fights that are worth my time."

"Deal," said another Naruto who stepped out from behind a rock outcropping.

Smirking, the dragon's right claw glowed. Suddenly, a scroll appeared within its clutches. Naruto walked up to the claw and took the roll of parchment nearly as big as he was and unfurled it on the ground.

"Write your name in your own blood and make a handprint in blood with the hand you will be summoning me with," instructed the wyrm.

Naruto paused. He figured that he might be limited to just two different contracts, one for each hand. He decided that he should summon this dragon with his left hand rather than his right (which he would keep reserved for the Pony Contract, if they would have him).

As soon as Naruto had placed the handprint on the scroll, it rolled shut and disappeared in a flash of light.

"Uzumaki Naruto? Interesting name. I am Basil of the Scorched Sky family. The Scorched Sky is nine flights' strong!"

Naruto's clones began to approach the dragon, allowing the wires to have slack. The Naruto on Basil's head started unwrapping the wire holding the dragon's jaw shut, Twilight's katana over his shoulder.

When the various ponies had finally disentangled themselves from each other, Seven left the group to approach the real Naruto. "Was this your plan the whole time?"

"No, but I realized that Basil could catch us if we tried to flee. I had to change the plan on the fly."

"And signing his Contract?"

"Bonus loot."

00000

End Chapter Two.

Next chapter: return to Konoha. With Pinkie.

Author's Note

Time sure flies when real life keeps dumping stuff on you. I was going to get this out sooner, but... yeah.

Anyway, thank you Dumbledork for correcting my mistakes.

Thanks go to Llisandur for fixing AJ's dialogue.

The term "opliptera" was lifted from What Must be Done by Vargras.

Not much to say regarding the chapter, so how about a life update?
- Got new computer for Christmas.
- We were going to move during Feb/March, but we decided against it.
- Got our tax return in.
- No longer in debt.
- Our roomie lost her job due to her boss' stupidity.
- Got a boatload of Magic: the Gathering cards for my 27th birthday.
- Another plotbunny keeps bothering me. I'll start working on it soon.
- It actually snowed in Tucson on the 20th of February.

Thanks for all the support. To quote Dusty: "Stay manly my friends."

Evaluations

Your Summon is Pink

by 5007

Disclaimer: most ponies can't eat meat.

Chapter Three: Evaluations

00000

Basil took off, circling Whistling Peak once before departing for another mountain range. The old dragon had seemed rather smug about the whole ordeal and looked pleased with himself despite the fact that he had been ousted from his own nest.

"You'll have to pardon me," Seven said. "I am to report to the Princesses immediately. You all must report to Princess Luna for debriefing as soon as possible."

He saluted, putting his right hoof on his brow, and suddenly sped off before anyone could say anything.

"Impressive," Dash observed. "I wonder how he'd compare to Spitfire."

"Who?" Naruto asked.

"The Captain of the Wonderbolts," whispered Rarity. "Don't let Rainbow know you don't know much about them."

"Or I may talk your ears off," the aforementioned pegasus stage-whispered right behind the fashionista.

The white unicorn shrieked and her horn glowed a sky blue, swinging one of her scrolls at the weatherpony. Rainbow dodged the fabric roll easily, giggling like a maniac. Naruto joined in the mirth with a laugh of his own.

00000

It took another hour to get to the base of Whistling Peak. Six pegasus knights were standing around a skycarriage, which was attached to another half-dozen pegasi.

"Ms. Sparkle?" barked one of the knights. "We are to escort you and your friends to Canterlot immediately. The Princesses specifically required the presence of the human as well."

"I have a name," Naruto snapped before yawning. Infuriatingly, the Day Guard ignored him entirely as he opened the skycarriage door for the mares.

00000

The eight companions (including the rabbit) were quickly ushered into the throne room by their Day Guard escorts. Both Princesses sat on their thrones, Meteor Strike flanking Celestia's seat. Between the thrones stood Shining Armor while an opliptera in silvery, ornate armor stood to Luna's left. Seven stood next to that pony, slightly behind the larger Night Guard.

"Naruto," Celestia began as soon as the pegasi knights brought the group closer. "I have heard about your performance in your mission from Seven. I must ask: do you regret any decisions you made today?"

"No," he replied. "I don't."

Luna nodded. "Evening approaches in our world. It is surely the middle of the night if not the break of dawn in thine. Thou must be exhausted. We shall send thee to thy home and will call thee back when a final decision has been made."

"Wait, what?"

Celestia spoke up. "We need time to debrief the Bearers, review the information we have collected about you, and discuss whatever issues we may have. Rest assured, we will send Pinkie Pie to your world with you so that we can summon you back."

"But..."

Before he could voice his objections, Pinkie gave him a hug.

"It'll be okay, Naruto," she murmured. "We can still be friends if it's a no-go!"

"That's right, darling," agreed Rarity. "And you still have Lord Basil's contract regardless of the Princesses' decision."

Naruto gave an involuntary yawn before he could answer. "You're right," he finally said. "I need sleep and they need time."

"'Tis settled then," stated Luna. "Pinkamena, if thou wouldst do the honors of taking Naruto home?"

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

00000

Again, Naruto had the unpleasant sensation of being collapsed into a single point before expanding while on fire. The coughing fit from the chakra smoke didn't last as long though. He looked around the room as the haze thinned. He saw his three-legged couch where he had left it near the scratched-up coffee table, both near the wall where the long-dead mold spot resided.

The ceiling had cracks in it, duct tape sealing the more prominent holes. Luckily, Naruto had been able to keep the floor clean. Relatively. The bloodstain in the carpet had been there already when he had moved in. At least the windows were intact and clean and the doors were solid, strong, and had massive deadbolts.

"This is your place?" Pinkie gasped.

"I told you yours was better than mine."

"But still! Why haven't your parents repaired the place yet?"

Naruto paused. "You're gonna want to sit down, Pinks."

00000

"Thank you for your report, Seven," said Captain One of the Night Guard. "Do you ladies have anything to add?"

"I do," Twilight immediately spoke up. "I saw the way he looked at the books in my library before we went on our mission..."

00000

The large, red wyrm approached the crater. Unlike the calderas most dragons liked to congregate in, the Scorched Sky dragons typically met in meteor crash sites.

Basil landed heavily, crumbling the loose gravel beneath his feet as thirty other dragons turned their attentions towards him.

"Brother?" began a yellow wyrm only slightly smaller than Basil. "We thought that you'd be taking a century-long slumber? Why are you awake?"

The red dragon smiled, showing all of his fangs. "Ponies, dear Cayenne. Ponies and a human."

If the other wyrms hadn't been paying attention to Basil and Cayenne, they certainly were at that point.

00000

Pinkie was starting to freak Naruto out. Her left eye was twitching but otherwise she was completely silent and still.

Naruto opened his mouth to say something when the mare suddenly tackled him. He found himself enveloped in an equine super-hug.

"I really hope the Princesses let you sign the contract so that we can be your family because I can't imagine the heartache of not having one. Even though I don't really speak to mine anymore, I do know that they are there to help if I ever need it," she babbled.

Naruto could hardly breathe, but he could feel the affection Pinkie wished to give him. He tried to return the hug as best as he could.

00000

"So he's not stupid, just uneducated," surmised Captain Meteor Strike. "What kind of schools do they have in the human world, again?"

"Apparently, ones that are far inferior to our standards," stated Celestia. "Thank you for your speculation, Twilight. Very insightful."

"Ah have somthin to add, Yer Highness," began Applejack. "Ah thought he was more stubborn than a mule at first, but lookin' back on it, I figure he puts his squadmates' lives ahead of the mission."

"Seven mentioned as much in his report," said Captain One.

"Dropping all extrapolation -" began Rainbow Dash, "- and yes, Twi, I know what that word means - I realized that he puts the lives of others ahead of his own."

"He never put himself directly in danger," retorted the opliptera captain. "It was just his shadow clones."

Rainbow bristled at that. "We already said he isn't stupid; I'm saying he's loyal to a fault."

00000

The valley around the crater howled with draconic laughter, scaring many of the local fauna.

Chuckling, Basil continued his story. "And guess what the human did when I agreed to their terms for leaving."

Cayenne snorted. "What?"

"He assumed that I was going to kill them as I left - which was quite the entertaining thought, I must admit. He demanded some sort of assurance that he and the ponies would live. A shrewd child, to say the least."

As the laughter died down, an old, white wyrm picked up his head. "And what did you give him?"

"I felt that such ingenuity to be able to trap me and coerce a dragon into doing what he wanted deserved a large reward. I let the little human sign my contract."

"Appropriate," said an old cerulean dragon. "Now to business: odd happenings have begun to show in our world."

"Indeed," confirmed the white. "First of all, the Titans have awoken."

Murmuring was the immediate response. After a short while, Basil spoke up.

"There is a new Sixpath Sage?"

"I believe that a human has inherited the abilities of the Sixpath, but not his wisdom."

"Agreed," stated an old orange wyrm. "Several of the Titans are behaving oddly. They are wearing a plethora of piercings now and their emotions are gone, as if they'd lost most of their personality."

"It is as if they are being controlled," continued the cerulean. "The few Titans who do not have piercings are constantly attacking those that do. Every month another Titan disappears for a week and returns with vast slabs of metal sticking out of their face."

"Needless to say, the Hellmouth to Tartarus will be completely unguarded by the end of the year," stated the white. "Without the Titans, our world could be overrun by demons."

The cerulean wyrm nodded. "We need volunteers to keep watch and not allow anything in or out."

Basil extended his wings. "I'll be the first to step forward."

The cerulean thumped her tail against the ground. "You cannot. Your contract has been signed. You could be summoned at any time. Stand down, Basil."

As Basil folded his wings, Cayenne extended hers. "I'll go. I'm among the best of the Scorched Sky when it comes to our slipscale abilities."

Three more adults volunteered. All four dragons folded their membranous wings.

"We shall meet again at this crater in three fortnights," declared the old orange dragon.

00000

Pinkie was still awake. The mare had been thinking about what Naruto had told her about his life. More than that, she was thinking about what he hadn't told her. She had also noticed that his apartment was lacked quality. To put it bluntly, it was a dump, even if Naruto had done his best to fix them up a bit.

She nearly gave control to the other just to avoid the heartache, but she wasn't certain that the ninja boy would understand the presence of another in her mind.

Indeed, hissed the other, but he may be more understanding than you give him credit for. Or he may not. Wait and see.

Pinkie shook her head before she noticed a silhouette moving outside the living room window through the predawn light. It was another human standing on the sill. It inched towards the bedroom window. The pink mare narrowed her eyes before creeping to the door to Naruto's room. Rather than open the door (because the boy kept the hinges rusty and squeaky as an alert system), she used some of her unique skills and squeezed herself through the crack under the door. The silhouette was making quick work of picking the lock on Naruto's bedroom window.

The lock gave a barely audible click before the window glided open. A black-robed figure wearing a stylized tiger mask made of white porcelain quickly slid into the room before silently closing the window. It stared at the sleeping form of Naruto for several long moments before nodding. As the mysterious person turned back towards the window, its vision went black as a pie was shoved into its face.

Naruto woke to the sound of a crumpling pie tin and rolled over, kunai in hand, to see Pinkie hogtieing what appeared to be an ANBU whose head was splattered with cream that obviously came from the mashed pie lying on the floor. Glad to have avoided a pointless fight with another disgruntled drunkard he took the time to slowly stretch his arms before taking a look at the pony's prisoner, he took the opportunity to look at the pony's prisoner.

"Pinkie, I think that's an ANBU," he said.

"A what now?"

"ANBU. They're like the Night Guard, but for a Kage."

"Huh," she muttered.

"Still, we need to find out if he's a Konoha ANBU or not."

The black-robed figure felt the mask come off of his face but he still couldn't see due to all of the - he quickly took a small taste of the pie filling - banana crème that made it through the eyeholes of his mask.

"Well, I don't know his face, but his mask has the Konoha leaf on it. Why are you here, Tora-san?"

He spoke quickly. "The Hokage tasked me with watching your apartment in case you returned from the summon realm. I was confirming that the slumbering body in the bed was yours, and not some thrill-seeking civilian."

00000

The appearance of a human boy amongst the ponies happening shortly after the Titans began to fall seemed to be too much of a coincidence to Basil. The fifteen-hundred-year-old wyrm simply loved stories and would often scry just to eavesdrop on the other summon races. The Salamander King was complaining to his children about his summoner, again, but it appeared that the rebels in Amegakure no Sato suddenly had new summons to back up their raids. The Snakes were gearing up for some sort of battle, trying to starve themselves so that they might be able to gorge themselves on their prey.

Too many coincidences. Basil couldn't help but think that all these events seemed to fit together into some form of cohesive narrative. Regardless, the humans were preparing for war. If Naruto was smart, Basil would be summoned to take down an army. If the boy was clever, the dragon would face another summon.

Basil grinned at the thought - he hadn't participated in a war since the fall of King Sombra. The wyrm was ready and willing to commit violence.

00000

Tenzo was glad Naruto let him go. While the boy was still a little naïve when it came to potential spies, this meant that the ANBU Captain could give his report to the Hokage.

"Enter."

Closing the door to the Hokage's office behind him, Tenzo saluted his superior with a fist to his chest.

"Please tell me you have good news," sighed the old man behind the desk before he took a long pull from his coffee mug. "And why do you have some form of white stuff staining your cloak?"

"Naruto is sleeping at his apartment while the pink pony summon watches over him. This is pie filling she used to defend him."

"Thank the kami," Hiruzen whispered.

"I don't think he's signed their contract yet," Tenzo continued. "He muttered something about some form of test they gave him."

"They're probably evaluating his performance," the Hokage said. "The pony is there to take him back when they've come to a decision."

"Oh?" Unspoken was Tenzo's question as to how the Hokage knew that.

The old man chuckled. "It is why some of the Sarutobi do not have their signatures on the Monkey Contract."

00000

Naruto yawned as he stretched. His alarm clock read "11:08AM" in red LED. He supposed he had slept long enough.

As his door creaked open, he saw Pinkie at the stove, cooking something in a huge wok he'd never seen before.

"Pinkie?"

"Mornin', Naruto. I'm making brunch!"

"I could just heat up some ramen - it'd be faster and less work," he replied, trying to be a good host and not make his guest do anything.

A blue eye became fixed on him as Pinkie turned her head. "Can't have you eating just ramen. Besides, all the ramen you have is meat-flavored."

"Why is that a problem?"

Pinkie let go of the wok and the spoon she was stirring with before turning around with a deadpan expression on her face.

After several seconds, Naruto's palm made a resounding "thwack" against his forehead. Pinkie laughed.

00000

"I am in favor of granting permission to summon us to young Naruto."

"I am not so certain, Luna. He seems rather arrogant. We'll have to see what Pinkie Pie says when she brings him back in a few hours. In the meantime, I need to take a nap."

"Sleep well, dear Sister. As in ages past, I shall watch the night."

00000

Naruto never knew that potatoes could taste so good. Nor did he know about oatmeal. While the fried vegetable medley Pinkie had made was kind of boring to the blonde, he ate it anyway (especially since Pinkie kept staring at him, her lips quivering and tears threatening to leave her eyes until he took a bite of it). He was also surprised that ponies could (and would) eat eggs.

"So," Pinkie began, "you say that the current Hokage is like a grandpa to you. Do you have any father figures?"

Naruto thought about it for a moment. "Not really. Kakashi-sensei might be one, but all he does is bring me fresh bowls of fruit. He's helped me with my taijutsu during our team training sessions, but he hasn't really done anything a father might. And Teuchi treats me like a favorite customer, not a son."

"Anyone other than the Ichiraku family?"

"Well, Iruka-sensei is kind of like my brother, and the Hokage's grandson, Konohamaru, is the annoying little brother I never wanted."

Pinkie giggled briefly. "But no one else?"

"Not really."

There was a knock at Naruto's door, temporarily suspending the conversation. Naruto got up and looked at a round, metal disk next to the door. He used a finger to move the disk to reveal a pipe with a mirror inside. With his other hand, he pressed a small button under the pipe to turn on a small light. Judging by the low output of said light, Pinkie realized it was a light bulb from an old oven. Hardly any lumens were produced by the bulb, but it was enough for Naruto to see in the mirror, which was reflecting what another mirror was catching from a hole down the hall, angled in such a way that Naruto could see the back of the person at the door.

After a few seconds, the woman at the door knocked again. Naruto recognized her as one of the Chuunin who commonly passed messages along from the Hokage Tower. Releasing both the disk and the button (which extinguished the bulb), he unlocked the four deadbolts on his door, and then opened it.

"Uzumaki-san," the kunoichi stated with her usual indifference. "The Hokage wishes to see you immediately. He also requests that you bring the 'pony', whatever that means."

She then simply turned around and started heading down the hall.

Shaking his head, Naruto turned to talk to Pinkie to find she was gone. He then heard another knock on his door. It was a pattern he had heard only once before. Five taps followed by two more. It made some form of rhythm Naruto had never heard of before. Double-checking the custom peephole, he saw the pink mare waiting on the other side.

Raising an eyebrow, he opened the door again. "What'd you do?"

"If she's not going to really care about talking to you, I figured she should have something to actually talk about next time."

"... what?"

He heard a loud pop coming from the first floor of the building followed by an angry cry that sounded a great deal like his name.

"The mailmares in Equestria will at least ask how their clients are doing. She seemed waaaaaay too bored when she was talking to you."

"I see," he said, though he really didn't understand. "What'd you do to her?"

"Snot-green paint bomb."

00000

Other ninja that saw them paused in their own roof-hopping routes to see the strangely-colored equine following the village pariah to the Hokage Tower, the seat of power in Konohagakure no Sato. Several even went through the general genjutsu dispel technique, trying to make sure that the boy wasn't trying to prank them again. The foreign ninja in the village were also confused as to Pinkie's presence, but they were less discreet in their gawking at an apparent "ninja horse" running around with a Genin.

When they arrived at the Tower, they had to jump down to street level for security purposes. The many civilians that made their living at the shops near the tower, as well as the line of petitioners, glared at Naruto, ignoring the pink pony entirely. While they had never seen a pony summon before (and few even guessed that she was a summon), they merely attributed her existence as a "damn ninja" thing and ignored her in favor of directing as much silent hate as possible towards the blond preteen.

Naruto was unfazed by their reaction, having dealt with such animosity his entire life. Pinkie, on the other hand (or hoof, in this case), was quite taken aback by the behavior of the citizens of the very city Naruto had sworn to protect. She was definitely going to report this behavior to the Princesses.

Ignoring the idiots trying to kill him with their thoughts, he simply walked right up to the only visible Chuunin guard. Said shinobi was smiling at the boy. As Naruto approached, he raised an eyebrow, silently questioning the guard's good humor. The man merely looked to the ground where a trail of sickly-green paint led into the building.

Oh, Naruto realized. He thinks that I pranked the kunoichi who came to get me.

The Chuunin was surprised to see Pinkie, but he let her pass through without a word. Naruto could hear the argument a civilian began making as he and the mare crossed the threshold into the building.

"Why does that worthless demon-child get to go ahead of me!? I'm a leading member of the Agricultural Association!"

"He had an appointment," replied the guard in an even, but vaguely threatening, tone. "I strongly suggest you stop making a ruckus."

They didn't hear the irate farmer's retort as they had gotten too far into the building. The receptionist on the first floor looked up from her paperwork long enough to tell Naruto to go right up to the Hokage's Office, but didn't really give him much attention. Pinkie took note of that and tried to make certain she'd remember the clerk's face. The secretary on the eleventh floor actually smiled at Naruto.

"Just had to cover Miss Tanaka in paint, didn't you?" she playfully jibed, shaking her head. "Go ahead and announce yourself - the Hokage's waiting for you."

00000

Shining entered the office of his equal in the Night Guard.

"What is it?" droned the opliptera captain, using his membranous wings to help sort his paperwork.

"Captain One," the unicorn began, "I take it that you do not approve of Naruto."

"He's too reckless, Captain Armor. He should have retreated with the Bearers back to Ponyville where they would have had a chance to bring their Militia to bear against Lord Basil."

"And potentially killed the dragon? What about the ponies in Ponyville? Do you think that we'd have zero casualties?"

One looked up from his paperwork. "Of course not. But he made risky decisions based on what intelligence he had. While his methods were effective, and produced absolutely no casualties on either side, his actions were not the product of a logical mind."

Shining Armor glared at the opliptera. One bore his fangs, revealing his transformed teeth.

"You've become colder since you ceased to be an earth pony, Thornmane."

One closed his mouth. Much like Seven, One did not like being referred to by his original name when he was working.

"My apologies, Captain," he hissed. "The transformation to opliptera changed my diet and brain chemistry. I needed to find a way to control my new hunger and aggression."

"You should listen to your instincts anyway. Some of the time," the white stallion stated evenly. "Besides, you of all ponies should know that battle plans never survive first contact with the enemy."

One's hoof traced the scar that ran over his left eye. "It's been difficult to adapt to the enchantments on this glass orb."

Shining nodded. "I'm aware that the prosthetic eyes never feel quite right, nor do they see in the entire color spectrum that our real ones do. Many veterans have complained about that to me."

The opliptera sighed. "I'll think over the human's performance again."

00000

"Tell me, Naruto," Hiruzen started, "why have you started pranking my messengers again?"

"That was me," Pinkie chirped. "She wasn't very enthusiastic about seeing him."

As the old man puffed a few times on his pipe, Naruto decided to speak up.

"She was insulted by that," he said. "The messengers in her world like to make small talk."

"Anyway," the mare continued, "pranking helps a ninja practice on trap-making. Why shouldn't he continue to prank those who deserve it?"

"His pranks do not attract the sort of attention that he needs," argued the Hokage before he turned to the blonde. "Your behavior prior to being assigned to Team Kakashi perpetuated the animosity that the populace had for you. It does not garner respect amongst the civilians."

"What is wrong with those meanies anyway!?" Pinkie growled as she hopped up onto the Hokage's desk to glare into the old man's face. "He's an orphan with an abnormal amount of chakra - so what? I take exception to the fact that they direct so much hate at him!"

"It is because of what he is," Hiruzen stated calmly. "And what he is is classified. Only Naruto himself has the security clearance to tell you about it."

"Pinkie," Naruto pleaded. "It's okay. Really."

"NO IT ISN'T!" she shouted, tears streaming down her face. Suddenly, her poofy hair straightened out and went limp, the sound of a deflating balloon coming from somewhere. Naruto, Hiruzen, and the hidden ANBU guard all noticed that her colors became more muted. Her demeanor had instantly switched to being calm, though her face still held some traces of emotional pain. She sighed before speaking, with a slightly different inflection to her voice.

"Well, we were going to try to hide my existence for a while longer," she stated as she stepped off of the desk. "But that plan is obviously a bust. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Pinkamena, Pinkie's coping mechanism for all the horrible things in the world." She paused, apparently in thought. "Worlds. Plural, as this is our first time in your world."

The Hokage took another long drag off of his pipe. "You are a split-personality?"

"Yes," she replied. "No one else really knows of my existence. Just you three and Pinkie."

"Three?" questioned Naruto.

"That ANBU mask on the wall there is really another ANBU."

Naruto looked at it for a few seconds, long enough for it to nod at him.

"Gah!"

Ignoring him, Hiruzen spoke to Pinkamena. "You may be able to understand Naruto's situation better than I anticipated. Rather, Pinkie will. Naruto?" That got the boy's attention. "I strongly suggest you tell her about what you are."

Naruto stared at the floor for several minutes before he looked the mare in the eyes.

"It's the worst-kept secret in Konoha. I'm a Jinchuuriki."

00000

"So you have a growling, grumpy voice living inside you that was once responsible for the destruction of half of Konoha. That does not excuse the behavior of those ignorant morons in the street." She turned to the Hokage as Naruto tried to process that attitude. "I imagine that the cover-up almost thirteen years ago was an intelligence nightmare."

"Indeed. But, back to the original topic, I do not approve of Naruto returning to his reign of terror. His pranks are only going to hurt his reputation in the long run."

Pinkamena snorted. "If his reputation is at the bottom of the totem-pole anyway, then pranking the village at large can't make it any worse. Besides, as long as he doesn't hurt anybody, nor impede their ability to perform their duties, nor impede his own, then he should do whatever he wishes to to relax. Regardless, you can turn it into a program to improve the security of your city."

"You make a fair point," the old man conceded. He turned to the blonde. "Naruto? Once the Chuunin Exams are over and the foreign dignitaries and ninja leave, I will approve of whatever pranks you can perform. I'll even have a budget set aside to reimburse you for whatever materials you use, within reason."

"Uhhh, okay."

All of a sudden, Pinkamena hopped up onto her hind hooves. Balancing, her ears twitched. "We are being summoned back to Canterlot."

She shook her head, the sound of a kazoo being played briefly coming from somewhere. Her hair returned to its extra-poofy state while her colors became more vibrant. Landing on all fours, Pinkie smiled at Naruto.

"Princess Luna wants to speak with us!" she cheered. Turning to the Hokage, she said, "I'm sorry, but we have to go!"

Without waiting for a reply, her tail wrapped around Naruto's waist and they disappeared in an explosion of chakra-smoke.

After a moment of silence as the smoke cleared, the old man muttered "Luna? I thought their Princess was named Celestia."

00000

"Before we come to a decision," Celestia began, "I wish for Pinkie to tell me about the observations she's made."

The pink mare stepped forward from her group of friends to stand next to Naruto in front of the thrones and the Captains, removing her veil from her face as she did so.

She began to recount her experiences in a very animated fashion, noting especially Naruto's living conditions and how the civilian populace in Konoha treated him (but excluding the existence of her other self). As she mentioned the glares and animosity directed at a nearly-thirteen-year-old boy, the sunlight filtering in through the windows became brighter for a brief instant.

"- and then the Hokage told me why they treated him like that. It's still a stupid reason though," she growled before switching back to an energetic tone. "I'd tell you what it is, but I respect Naruto's privacy and he's the only one allowed to do so."

"Can you give a hint?" asked Captain Meteor Strike.

"Only that he was born on the same day that a biju attacked Konoha."

Murmurs were heard amongst the guards and the mares from Ponyville. The princesses turned to one another and brought their horns together. A faint shimmer of magic passed between the horns.

They had been at it for a few minutes and the longer their spellwork was taking, the more nervous Naruto became. The deep-rooted fear of rejection tried to claw its way to the forefront of Naruto's mind. The only reason why he calmed down was that Pinkie started nuzzling his arm.

The sisters' spell ceased and they turned as one to face Naruto. Luna spoke, silencing the murmurs coming from around the room.

"All facts considered thou wouldst make for a mediocre summoner, Uzumaki Naruto. However, thy ability to learn quickly gives us reason to hope that thou wouldst be able to improve thyself with training and conditioning."

"A mitigating circumstance," continued Celestia, "is your stunted emotional growth. I personally feel that you need us for emotional reasons more than for combat effectiveness. I was unsure about it before, but now I wholly approve of having you become our summoner."

Luna's horn started shining with an indigo aura. With a crack of displaced air, a scroll materialized in front of Naruto. Guided by the moon goddess's magic, the parchment unrolled itself in front of Naruto to show a contract empty of names.

"WE PRESENT UZUMAKI NARUTO, THE FIRST PONY SUMMONER!"

"OW!" complained Shining Armor as he massaged his ears with his hooves. "A little warning next time, please."

00000

End Chapter Three.

Next Chapter: reading seven books at once!

Author's Note

You know how a writer can get distracted from writing when they find something awesome to read? That's one excuse I'm going with. The other is the fact that I needed to adjust to a more hectic work schedule. I had forty hours for a while, and then it got bumped down to twenty-nine and now I'm back up to thirty-five.

In other news, my story about the pony Bluegrass (which I've mentioned once on FiMFiction dot net) keeps trying to force its way into the forefront my mind. "The Laughing Fox" is fighting me at the moment, so I'm letting it stew for a bit until it starts cooperating again. And the story "Conundrum" (which is a FiMFiction exclusive) keeps trying to demand my attention as well.

Not much to say about this chapter though. Well, aside from the fact that Naruto fans might be able to hazard a guess as to what the Titans are and what's happening to them.

I know that someone suggested that I read some other Naruto/MLP: FiM crosses for inspiration, but I seriously don't want to pull ideas from what anyone else is doing. Nor do I even want to be accused of such when I do it on accident. That's happened to my wife, LA Knight, a couple of times (even though she hadn't actually read the chapter that she was allegedly plagiarizing). Speaking of which, are there any readers of mine who thought that Prince Nuada's death in "Hellboy II: the Golden Army" was wasteful or dissatisfying? You may want to read her story, "Once Upon a Time" as it is going to try and fix that. Eventually. It's nearly a hundred chapters already (which won't take long for some of you to finish). It also makes all sorts of references to other media. I suppose you could make a game of trying to name all the references in each chapter before you get to her AN's at the bottom (where she lists them all for each chapter).

Shameless plugs aside, I hope to try and actually get back into the swing of writing enough that I can have a legitimate update schedule again.

Thanks to Dumbledork for his ability to turn this stupid idea into something more readable (there were a lot of errors in this chapter). And thanks go to Llisandur for fixing AJ's line.

Ponies in the Leaf

Your Summon is Pink
by 5007

Disclaimer: ... not to say that some ponies don't eat meat.

Chapter Four: Ponies in the Leaf

00000

Naruto signed the contract with his dominant hand, which caused Twilight to cock her head. She cleared her throat, catching the attention of all the ponies in the room. The boy turned his head to face her as he made his bloody handprint.

"I thought you were left-handed; why are you signing with your right?"

"Aren't I limited to one contract per hand?" He asked as he stood.

"Actually, you are not," stated Celestia. "I am glad Lord Basil wasn't offended by the fact that you signed with your off-hand."

Naruto shrugged. "I figured that I'd better reserve my right hand for the Summons I'd call on the most - my left hand is for emergencies only."

The mares in the room giggled as the stallions looked around, lost in thought.

"Naruto," began Rarity, "we are absolutely flattered by the idea that you reserved your dominant hand for us."

The blonde grinned and put both of his hands behind his head, causing Rarity to grimace.

"... that's disgusting."

"Huh?"

"You just put your own blood in your hair," Twilight explained with a laugh.

00000

The next week became a blur, as Naruto spent nearly every waking second training with the ponies. The first morning, Twilight summoned him to Equestria. He left a clone with her to study with her. Since Pinkie was quite adept at fighing while standing on her hind legs, it was agreed that she'd train the boy in taijutsu (hand-to-hand techniques) every other day. On the days that Pinkie wasn't training him, Rarity would. She insisted on training his etiquette as well as teach him a special chakra control technique that he'd never learn from anyone else.

Each successive day that Naruto was summoned, he left an additional clone with Twilight for additional study, especially since at the end of the first day...

00000

"You really think I will remember everything he's read today?"

Twilight nodded. "Considering that you remembered carrying Fluttershy partway up Whistling Peak from six different perspectives, you should have complete retention of everything your clone has experienced since breakfast."

"Retention?"

"It means you'll remember everything he did perfectly," clarified Spike as he reshelved the books the clone had read that day.

"Oh."

Naruto missed the annoyed glare Twilight briefly gave the human boy.

00000

"No no no no!" Pinkie admonished. She walked over to where Naruto stood in a stance. Balancing on her hind legs, she pressed down on his shoulders. "Keep your spine straight and your knees bent. Your feet should at least be as far apart as your shoulders are."

The blonde had to shift his feet a few more centimeters apart. He had to bend his knees just to keep from falling over.

"This keeps your center of gravity closer to the ground. Your bent knees also allow you to take stronger blows without losing your balance, so keep them loose."

"It's a little difficult to balance with my back so straight," he complained.

She giggled. "That's because you're a human, not a pony. While I need to keep my spine like a ramrod, you have a bit more flexibility when it comes to yours."

She took two steps back. "Now SWAY!"

Her hoof swung at him with incredible velocity. He had to bend backwards just to avoid it. Keeping the balls of his feet anchored to the ground with chakra, he managed to dodge the attack in such a way that would make a contortionist green with envy.

"Don't let me touch you!" She yelled as she slammed her hooves down towards his mid-section. He twisted his waist and brought his left foot up as he spun on his right heel, getting a fair distance away from his pink assailant. She swung around on her front hooves to plant a bruising buck on his right thigh with her hind legs. This was finally enough to cause Naruto to lose his balance.

He managed to arch his back and catch himself on his hands before back flipping into the ready stance Pinkie had taught him, but he still had to favor his right leg due to the goose egg that was swelling on his thigh. Unfortunately, he did not have enough time to react to the chocolate cake that impacted with his face. This caused him to flinch, which caused his leg to ache sharply. Finally, he fell down with a cake-muffled yelp.

Pinkie shook her head. "You're going to need to practice this when you can - and Twilight says you can't use a clone to practice with. Something to do with muscle-memory."

She walked over to the open door of the building. "Now you stay here in the dojo while I get Fluttershy to heal you."

"No problem," the blonde muttered though the delicious confection splattered on his face.

00000

"Once you are able to adapt my technique to chakra use instead of magic, then I will have you practice it with your clones," the white mare stated.

"Wait, what? I thought that magic is no different from chakra!"

Rarity thought about it for a moment. "There is a difference between the two methods of use. Chakra is generated inside of the body into a jutsu and released through focal points or along a chakra string."

She demonstrated this by taking a threaded needle and stitching it into a piece of fabric before pulling it through and having it fly through the air. "Magic, on the other hoof, is sent to the area to be affected before being assembled into the desired spell."

This time, she set the fabric down and took the thread (sans needle) and tied it into a bow. She pointed a hoof at the mannequin next to Naruto. "Now take that dark blue scarf the dress form is wearing and we can start with the control exercise I personally devised."

She grabbed a scroll with magic and led him into her backyard where she laid down on a mat in the middle of her zen garden. Naruto sat, cross-legged, on a mat just in front of her. Her horn still glowing, she unfurled the scroll to show that it was blank - it was simply made of a durable fabric.

"What I am about to teach you is a breakthrough in armor and weaponry." The loose end of the scroll curled up and became fist-shaped. "Tetsu Kireji Koura." (Iron Cloth Shell)

The fist-shaped end of the scroll smashed into a boulder, sending rock chips flying. The ground around the stone had cracked and a healthy amount of dust had been kicked into the air by the shockwave of the blow.

"That technique is my secret weapon!" Rarity boasted. "It allows me to armor myself in the simplest of clothing without requiring sturdier, not to mention heavier, materials. I can also turn cloth into a blunt-force weapon using this spell."

The end of the scroll became as straight as a ruler and cut through the boulder diagonally. "Koutetsu Kireji Sori." (Steel Cloth Razor)

As the top half of the boulder began sliding down against the other half, Rarity rolled up her scroll. "That was the more advanced version. It is strictly offensive in nature."

She locked gazes with Naruto. "I am the only one to have developed this technique. Other battle seamstresses use fabric to confuse and constrain their opponents."

Naruto hands trembled as he contemplated this information. "You're giving up a personal technique for my sake?"

Rarity gave a smile, more genuine than any Naruto had seen from her before, making him realize just how much she seemed to hide from the others.

"I shall tell you a story from when I was much younger," she declared. "I managed to pass the minimum power requirements to join Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns in Canterlot. Unfortunately, the tuition fees were far too much for my family to afford. I turned to dressmaking to save up enough to attend the entry exam and that took several years. But when I finally had enough, the Mage Council laughed at the idea that a battle seamstress could ever become a proper Magician. By that time, I was too old to join the Royal Ninja Corps Training Programme, so I couldn't even become a proper battle seamstress."

Rarity frowned. "Because of this, I was forced to train myself in ninjutsu and magic. Of course, the most useful knowledge was kept secret, so I figured things out on my own." She grinned and leaned forward. "And I developed an entirely new hybrid of both."

She abruptly stood and pressed a hoof to Naruto's chest. "And you shall be the first human to become a battle tailor."

Naruto smiled faintly. "You didn't exactly answer my question."

Tossing her head to the side, causing her mane to cover her left eye, she laughed. "True. I have heard from Twilight and Pinkie about your Chuunin Exam Finals and who you shall face in the first match. A Hyuuga? The elitist clan known for ignoring armor and attacking internal organs?"

She shook her head. "Already, that is a tall order to prepare you for. But I hear he's considered a genius. I shall teach you my technique and you must learn it by the time you face Hyuuga Neji in the ring."

She sat back down on her mat. "I am a genius. You are as well, I believe. Let's prove it to the world!"

Naruto grinned.

00000

While Pinkie's training regimen was quite physically difficult, Naruto felt he was making real progress. Rarity's technique was another matter entirely. Try as he might, Naruto didn't feel as if he was making any headway in getting the cloth to do anything, much less what he wanted it to do. Rarity didn't seem concerned, but she happened to be busy filling orders for outfits and only occasionally checked on Naruto.

At the end of the third day of training with her, Naruto's six library clones dispelled. He was almost ready to go home and Rarity was going to send him back to Konoha when he snapped upright.

"Is anything the matter?" She asked.

One hundred and eight hours' worth of knowledge settled in his mind, giving him a slight headache, but the memories told him one of the clones had been excited about what it had read.

"Hand me some cloth!"

Raising a delicate eyebrow, Rarity levitated some fabric into Naruto's waiting hand. He grabbed it and poured a meager amount of chakra through it. The cloth straightened out as if it had been marinating in starch.

Rarity smirked as she threw a pair of pinking shears at the fabric only for it to bounce off. "I knew you'd figure it out."

"We'll have to thank Twilight that I did," the blonde said with conviction. "I didn't fully understand the nature of chakra until she handed me that book."

"Oh?"

"I thought I had to flood the cloth with my chakra to get it to work - but there is apparently chakra in all things."

"Sage chakra, yes," Rarity said. "Applejack talks about it sometimes."

"I didn't need to energize the cloth - I simply needed to tell it what I wanted to do."

"Now you know something of my secret technique. You can practice it on your own. I expect you to send a clone over here for etiquette training though."

"Can your technique work on other things?"

Rarity gave him a look. "I have tried, darling. Many times. It simply becomes telekinesis when trying to use it with other objects. My understanding is that it works with fabric because you have many different strands that you are holding in a shape and they resist changing when force is applied to them."

00000

At the end of the week, Twilight suggested that he should spend a day with her brother. Of course, Pinkie wanted to come with. Naruto shrugged and took Twilight's advice.

That morning, instead of being summoned to Equestria, Naruto summoned Pinkie and Shining Armor to his apartment. However, because he was still half-asleep, Naruto put a little too much chakra into the jutsu.

"Seven reporting for duty!"

That woke the blonde up. "Figgaro! I'm sorry."

Pinkie giggled. "You put too much chakra in the jutsu, huh Naruto?"

"Ah. We are to be off-duty then?"

"That's correct," confirmed Shining Armor. "Twily said that Naruto needed to take a break. Interesting that he summoned you on accident."

"With your permission-"

"At ease, soldier."

"- I'd like to look around a bit. I'll meet you for lunch." He burst into smoke and slipped through the crack under the front door.

Shining facehoofed. "He's always working, even when on break."

Naruto shrugged. "Some people are like that, I've noticed. Anyway, I want you to meet one of my favorite people!"

"Oh?"

"Are we going to go see that old man?" Pinkie asked.

"Yup. Old Man Hokage."

00000

It was blatantly obvious to Naruto that the presence of his summons was unexpected. Civilians openly gawked at Shining Armor. Ninja observed him briefly before concluding that the unicorn was part of the same contract as the pink pony. ANBU carefully tracked the group from the shadows - they had been briefed on Naruto's contract with the ponies and were unperturbed by the vast difference between the two summons.

"Hey boy!" a familiar voice called out from a side-street. "I see you got that contract!"

Naruto turned and saw Jiraiya.

"Well if it isn't the Pervert Sage?"

Jiraiya stumbled and faceplanted in the cobbled street before flipping back into standing. "I told you not to call me that!"

"He's the one who taught you how to summon?" Shining asked. At Naruto's nod, the unicorn's horn began to glow pink. A pink barrier about the size and shape of a basketball rocketed towards Jiraiya's head. Being so fast and unexpected, the Toad Sage forgot to dodge. The barrier disappeared shortly after knocking the old man on his rear. "That's for letting him do something as dangerous as an uncontracted summoning!"

"Am I supposed to say 'ow'?" Jiraiya asked only to find a bottle of wine floating just within reach. "What's this?"

"That is thanks for allowing the circumstances for ponies to have a contract with Naruto."

"Uh, thanks," the old shinobi muttered as he pocketed the bottle.

"You should be glad it was me who brought that message instead of the princesses," Shining chuckled.

"Oh?"

"Yeah; you'd be hospitalized for certain."

Jiraiya thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement. "So squirt, have you learned anything in the past week?"

Naruto smiled as he pulled out a washcloth. One moment, it was limp, but the next it was a rigid square.

"Doesn't seem that impressive..."

"I can do it with any fabric to create armor."

Jiraiya smiled. "I take it back. That is subtle and scary as hell." Standing up from the ground, Jiraiya's face turned a little more serious. "I need to see you by the end of the day, boy. Bring these summons with you."

00000

Arrival at the Hokage's Tower didn't take long. The kunoichi Chuunin at the door opened it to allow the group to enter. They made it to the eleventh floor before they were stopped by the receptionist.

"I'm sorry, Naruto-san," she said. "Hokage-sama is in a meeting with the head of the Agricultural Association. They've been arguing semantics for a couple of hours now."

Naruto groaned. "Why does that man keep trying to take up all of the Old Man's time?"

"So you're saying that the Hokage would welcome an interruption?" Shining asked the receptionist.

"Well, not in those words specifically," she answered with a grin.

Smiling mischievously, the unicorn sauntered right up to the door. He could hear murmuring coming through the heavy oak door. Using telekinesis, he picked the lock and dismantled the hinges. Waving Naruto over, he raised his eyebrows and mimed kicking at the door. The boy grinned before kicking the door down.

The middle-aged civilian shrieked girlishly as the door crashed to the floor. The Hokage glared at the opening briefly before he smiled, relieved. He pocketed the kunai he had drawn before turning back to the idiot he had been arguing with only to find that the man had passed out and soiled himself. He rolled his eyes and got up from his desk, exiting the office.

"Postpone my other appointments and have a Genin team clean up the mess!" He told the secretary.

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

"Naruto, let's take a stroll, shall we?"

00000

Figgaro was observing various civilians and their reactions to Naruto. While there were quite a few who outright hated him, others were curious about the ponies that were following him around. Yet more looked at him with a combination of sadness and guilt, and others still seemed genuinely interested in the boy. This last group was smallest in number, but Seven's heart was softened towards Konoha by their existence.

The batpony nearly lost his perch when Shining Armor attacked an old man that looked like a kabuki actor only to realize who he was when the Captain gave the man a bottle of wine. When the group of three entered the Tower, Figgaro realized he wasn't alone on his rooftop. He barely needed to turn his head to see an ANBU casually crouched right next to him.

"Keeping your own vigil on the boy?" Whispered the white-masked person of indeterminable gender. Figgaro couldn't identify the gender even with his excellent hearing. "We don't blame you, considering how many times we've had to save him from his detractors."

"Even once is too many," agreed another whisper to the opliptera's other side. "The attacks petered off after the boy turned six though."

"Good to know," whispered Figgaro in agreement. "I'm surprised you found me."

"One of us noticed you about five minutes before Jiraiya called to Naruto," admitted the ANBU to Figgaro's left.

"I noticed three of you at about the same time. Seems we each need to ramp up our stealth and detection training."

"Indeed," agreed both whisperers as Naruto, the Hokage, Pinkie, and Shining exited the tower.

00000

"You fought a dragon?" Hiruzen asked incredulously.

"Well..." Naruto began before Pinkie interrupted him.

"Considering he was to be our first summoner, it'd have to be a doozy of a test."

The Hokage began to massage his temples. "You ponies may just drive me to drink."

"At least he got a bonus out of it," Shining pointed out. "He can summon that dragon now."

The old man groaned.

"What's the matter, Jiji?"

"I'm going to need to check my tobacco soon; I swear I just heard the unicorn say you can summon a dragon."

"When you put it that way..." Naruto began only to be silenced by a glare from the Hokage. Naruto couldn't hide the smirk on his face though.

"It's true, though," Pinkie chimed in. "Naruto impressed Lord Basil with his actions sooooo much that he let Naruto sign his contract."

"And you didn't tell me this because?"

"We didn't have time the last time we met," admitted Naruto.

"That was a week ago," Sarutobi Hiruzen growled. "You've had time after your training."

"In his defense," Shining began, directing the old man's attention to himself. "We usually kept him training until late into the night, when he was ready to drop."

The old man glared at the unicorn. "Are you trying to kill one of my ninja?"

"Have you seen how long that boy can keep going? Give him a few minutes of rest and he's ready to bounce off of the walls again," Shining couldn't help but smirk at the old man. Especially given what was now sitting on the Hokage's hat.

Using special magic, Figgaro was atop the Hokage's head as if he was part of the hat.

"I don't see what you find so amusing," ranted the old man. "You work Naruto to the bone almost immediately after you have him tangle with a dragon just to test him?"

"Assuming it was a combat test," chimed Figgaro, startling the Hokage. The opliptera leaned down so he could look the old man in the eye while staying on his hat. "If it had been a combat test, he actually would have had Lord Basil dead-to-rights before coercing him out of his contract. That would have been impressive on its own if that were the case."

"Another horse," Hiruzen groaned, ignoring the fact that the batpony was sitting on his head. "How would you know?"

"I was there. And the parameters of the test were actually how he handled working with ponies of various personality types in a hostile environment. It was concluded that Naruto is what we were looking for in a summoner. The fact that he took out a dragon and kicked it out of its lair are just icing on the cake."

"Like this!" exclaimed Pinkie as she held a cake up to the Hokage. It had white frosting and bore the words "We apologize for your near-cardiac-arrest!!!!!111one" in blue gel frosting.

"Is that a pudding cake?" the opliptera asked.

"Uh, no. Sorry Figgaro," Pinkie answered.

"Pity." He turned his attention back to the Hokage. "Are there any other misconceptions you'd like us to clear up?"

"You ponies are crazy," stated the old man.

"True," said all three ponies in unison. Pinkie immediately shouted "Jinxed!"

Hiruzen sighed. "I heard that your princess was named Celestia, but then Pinkie said something about a Princess Luna."

"We have two ruling princesses at the moment," Shining stated. "Celestia and Luna, returned from her exile to the moon. We also have a third princess, but she's not a ruler. Not yet, anyway."

00000

Eventually, Figgaro got bored of being on the Hokage's hat and trotted alongside the group. They finished their trek at Naruto's favorite restaurant: Ichiraku Ramen. Unfortunately, Hiruzen had to decline the offer to eat lunch with them - he had to return to the Tower to make a dent in his paperwork.

"Hello Naruto-kun!" Ayame greeted.

"Oh?" shouted Teuchi from the back. "Tell him the first bowl's free!"

"Huh?" Naruto eloquently stated, his greeting dying in his throat. "Why's it free?"

Ayame giggled. "It's because we haven't seen you since before the Chuunin Exams began!" She eyed the ponies. "And who are you three?"

Naruto puffed out his chest. "Ayame-nee-chan, allow me to introduce my summon animals. They're ponies! The big white one is Captain Shining Armor."

The unicorn tipped his helmet in greeting.

"The pink one is-"

"HIMYNAME'SPINKIEPIE!" went the words that tumbled out of Pinkie's mouth. "Sorry, I just got so excited to meet someone who actually likes Naruto I couldn't hold it in any longer, which I doubt I could have even if I-"

The opliptera shoved an armored hoof into the mare's mouth, muffling her long-winded run-on sentence.

"And my name is Figgaro," the batpony said as he extended a wingtip for Ayame to shake. "I think it's safe to say that we're all hungry."

"Right," Naruto agreed. "Pinkie, would you like to order first?"

She removed Figgaro's hoof from her mouth before speaking. "Do you have any vegetarian dishes?"

"We have vegetable and bean ramen," Ayame happily stated, understanding that horse-like summons would balk at the offer of meat.

"I'll have a bowl of that then," Pinkie giggled as she pulled her veil down.

Shining piped in next: "Can I have three bowls of the vegetable and bean ramen?"

Naruto snorted. "A stallion after my own heart. I'll have one each of beef, chicken, and pork to start." He turned to Figgaro. "Are you not hungry?"

The batpony's slitted eye twitched just before his stomach growled. He sighed.

"I'll take a beef and hot pepper ramen," he said after some hesitation.

Pinkie's eyes widened as she gasped. Ayame simply looked confused. Figgaro's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tried to pretend he was anywhere else.

After a long pause, Naruto spoke up. "I hate being confused, but I thought ponies don't eat meat."

"Opliptera need to ingest meat daily," Shining told them. "Going from an herbivorous species to an omnivorous one that focuses on protein is hard on them, I hear. Considering the social taboos regarding the practice of eating meat that are prevalent in Equestria today, I don't blame Figgaro for his hesitation to admit to needing it."

Naruto rolled his eyes and grabbed the back of the batpony's armor and yanked him into an embrace. Figgaro seemed to squeak at the sudden physical contact.

"When we get back to my apartment, Figgaro, I'm going to let you know something that Pinkie knows."

Pinkie leapt over Shining's back to land on Naruto and the opliptera, knocking them both off of their stools. She wrapped her hooves around both of them.

"It's okay, Figgy! I won't tell anypony if you don't want me to!"

"Too. Much. Love!" Figgaro squawked. "Can't. Breathe!"

"So," Shining began, ignoring his three companions as he turned to Ayame. "How's the weather here? I assume you don't have anyone who can control it, do you?"

00000

End chapter four.

Next Chapter: the wyrm crawls in; the wyrm flies out; guarding Tartarus is what it's 'bout!

Author's Note

This took way too long.

So a quick update on stuff you don't care about: the rack-and-pinion on our Corolla is leaking, the timing belt needs replacing, we're approaching our move date at the end of April, and I'm still not getting enough hours at work. In the meantime, my father is going to let me borrow his Toyota Pickup (it's just barely old enough that Toyota didn't have multiple models of truck when it was built) which has its own problems while he tries to fix it. The good news is, once we get settled into the new apartment, we'll likely have internet. Updates (hopefully) will be closer together and more job opportunities will open up for us.

TL;DR: Don't expect an update before May 12th due to crap that is happening. If you get an update before then, rejoice. If you don't, then DON'T PANIC. If you get worried about me, flag down a flying saucer and ask them to check up on me.

Thank you Dumbledork for fixing my misteaks. I mean mysttakes.

... dammit.

Montage

Your Summon is Pink
by 5007

Disclaimer: Don't insult the pink horse.

Chapter Five: Montage

00000

"Now that we're done with lunch," Naruto began, "we need to find that Pervert Sage."

"Who?" Figgaro asked as he flapped beside the group.

"That's what Naruto calls the Toad Sage," explained Shining.

"Jiraiya," growled Figgaro.

"Why are you so angry with him?" Naruto asked.

"His mistake in not having you sign a contract could have killed you," Shining said. "Or worse: you might have summoned a demon from Tartarus!"

"That bad, huh?"

"Do you know what happened the last time a demon got out of Tartarus?" Figgaro asked.

"... no. I don't."

"I don't suppose you would," admitted Shining. "It is an old legend."

"Old enough to predate the creation of Equestria, some two-thousand years ago," the opliptera added.

When Shining cleared his throat, Naruto knew that the stallion was going to tell the story.

0-0-0-0

Ages ago, the Titans had grown complacent and derelict in their duty and a demon was able to charge out of the Hellmouth. Tartarus gave birth that day to a bastard beast with ten tails. Before the Titans could stop it, it tore a hole in reality and forever linked the Summon Realm to the Human Realm.

Days later, a human sage entered the Summon Realm and created a contract with the Titans. With their help, this Sage of the Six Paths defeated the Juubi and rent it asunder, casting the fragments to the winds. Their honor restored, the Titans returned to the gates of Tartarus and kept their vigil stronger than ever before. Confident that they had learned their lesson, the Sage extracted a promise from the Titans:

"There will be one whom inherits my wisdom - heed his call."

The human returned to his Realm. Many Summoned Beasts followed, offering contracts to humans who impressed them. And thus, both worlds were connected.

0-0-0-0

"Wow," Naruto said as they approached the hot-springs district. "That's quite the story. Though I think I may have heard of a 'Sage of Six Paths' somewhere before. Hmm..."

"So," began Pinkie, "Why are we looking around here?"

"This is where the Pervy Sage likes to hang out," Naruto replied automatically.

"I don't understand why," Figgaro admitted. "All I see are females with little-to-no clothing. Is this a human thing?"

"I think it has something to do with the fact that nearly every human we've seen so far wears clothes," the pink pony said.

Naruto had to actually stop at that. "Does that mean that ponies don't normally wear clothing?"

"Summons don't," Shining explained. "Wearing clothing is a sign of status, either as a warrior or a symbol of wealth. Sometimes, such as with ponies, rags are worn to show one's poverty."

"Huh."

"I would love it if people didn't wear clothing more often," a familiar voice said to Naruto. The group turned to see the Toad Sage lounging near the fence to one of the hot springs. One eye was lined up perfectly with a small knothole in the wood while the old man was furiously writing in a small notepad.

Naruto could hear Figgaro asking Shining something about a wine bottle, but it was barely a whisper. Ignoring it, he carefully walked up to Jiraiya.

"You wanted to see me today?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Actually, I wanted to see you in a couple of hours," replied the Sage. He giggled. "Sorry squirt, but I'm not missing a minute of this."

Pinkie's tail wrapped around Naruto's waist and pulled him away from Jiraiya. Before the ponies ducked around a corner with the young ninja in tow, Naruto noticed a small cylinder resting between the old man's legs. Jiraiya had barely noticed it when-

shh-POMPF!

It exploded into a brilliant purple paint covering nearly everything in sight. Cries of alarm erupted from several of the bathhouses as kunoichi and civilian women began stampeding into the buildings to clothe themselves. Much faster than the normal humans, the female ninja charged out of the bathhouses and began searching the area for the source of the paint bomb.

Unfortunately for a shell-shocked Jiraiya, they found him instead, muttering something about ponies and destroyed research notes. Nonetheless, they saw that he was sitting near a now-exposed hole in the fence. They did the simple mathematics and beat the old man senseless.

00000

"I can't believe you did that, Pinks," said the flabbergasted blonde.

"I can't believe you pulled it off!" crowed the opliptera.

"I can't believe he didn't escape in time!" laughed the unicorn.

"And I can't believe he wasn't willing to talk to you right then," growled the earth pony. "Is he some kind of sex-addict or something?"

"Actually, yes," Naruto replied. At all of the ponies' questioning looks, he added, "It's why I call him 'Pervy Sage'."

After a moment, Shining said, "I thought there was more to it than that, like you called him that ironically."

"I'm not sure what that means," Naruto admitted. "But sometimes, what you see is exactly what it is."

"No 'lies behind lies', eh?" Figgaro asked.

"Sometimes. It is how I managed to pass the first part of the Chuunin Exams."

It was true. Naruto managed to pass simply by bluffing his way through Ibiki's test. The proctors were trying to figure out what angle Naruto was playing at. They couldn't figure it out and so they were trying to find his secondary ruse, but the real answer was the simplest of all - he was boasting and bluffing his way to the end. Since it was so simple, the proctors ruled it out immediately. Only Morino Ibiki knew the truth and that was only after he had seen Naruto's blank paper.

"Well," Shining began. "It has been fun, but I can put off my duties for only so long. I've got paperwork to fill out back at Canterlot."

"'Sokay," said Naruto.

With a bow, he disappeared with a puff of chakra smoke.

Naruto turned to Figgaro. "Let's get back to my apartment. I've got something to tell you."

00000

The Guards stood, silent as corpses. If it wasn't for their labored breathing, Skrigh would have thought they were deceased. He slithered past the eleven Guards… Eleven? One was missing. No matter. Skrigh would be able to escape to the Human Realm as soon as he cleared the Second Threshold of the Hellmouth.

He felt the light of the Sun on his scales as he cleared the First Threshold. It was refreshing and warm - unlike the fires of the Second Circle of Tartarus which were far too harsh for anything. Skrigh cracked his knuckles as he approached the Second Threshold; his freedom was guaranteed!

BOOM! went the ground as a yellow mass crashed down in front of Skrigh.

"So a naga was the first creature to attempt to leave Tartarus?" a feminine voice laughed. "This is going to be too easy."

Skrigh hissed and spread his arms wide. "I will pass, worm!"

"Worm? Is that the best you can do? Make a play off of 'wyrm'?" Cayenne roared with mirth.

"SILENCE!" shouted the naga as he slammed his wrists together. A chilling mist rocketed forth from his palms and enveloped the dragon. "Even your fiery nature cannot survive a naga's magic!"

As the mist cleared, revealing Cayenne covered with water droplets, she chuckled.

"I am of the Scorched Sky," she declared. "Allow me to show you what that means!"

A ball of plasma catapulted from her maw straight towards Skrigh. The naga dodged the sphere of death by a wide margin, but his right side blistered and cracked anyway, pouring boiling blood onto the burnt ground. The naga screeched in pain and rage as Cayenne surged forwards. She silenced him by grasping his throat with both foreclaws. She planted most of her bulk on the gigantic snake-half of the demon to keep him from breaking free.

"Your magic is useless," she growled as he clawed at her arms, trying to freeze her blood. "We of the Scorched Sky have a special talent - slipscale."

She punctuated her statement by digging her claws into his throat. As rivulets of gray blood ran down his neck, Skrigh coughed up a chuckle.

"And now you're trapped," he said, covering his claws with ice. He slashed at Cayenne with the icicle blades. While they did pierce her scaly hide and draw blood, they quickly melted down. "W-what!?"

"I told you: slipscale," she replied. "I can absorb chakra and convert it into my own."

A white-hot beam of plasma ejected from the back of her throat, obliterating the naga's head and carving a gouge on the ground behind him. With the snake demon's body still thrashing in death-throes, Cayenne began tearing open the ribcage. Opposite the heart, she found a gemstone that she quickly ripped out of the torso. Gently cradling the gem in her mouth, she quickly turned the corpse around and crushed its lower spine. With one last twitch, what was left of Skrigh lay still.

Cayenne gingerly placed the gem into her foreclaws to better examine it. She had heard that naga demons had soulstones, but she had never figured that it would be so pretty. While it would make a fine addition to her hoard, she knew of a better use for it. She dragged the corpse into the Hellmouth and used its blood to mark a set of seals on the floor just in front of the Gates of Tartarus. By the silent vigil of all twelve Titans, she pressed the soulstone into the center of the array. It stuck fast to the floor and partially phased into it. The soulstone began to glow, showing the face of its owner silently screaming in torment.

Cayenne smiled. Even most of the higher demons would think twice before attempting to exit Tartarus now. She turned to observe the Titans, noting that the last of them had returned from their abduction into the Human Realm. Like the others, Cerberus now had large metal piercings running through his heads. All of the pairs of eyes of the dog Titan had changed to a set of grey spheres with concentric violet circles.

Outside the cave, Cayenne stalked into a nearby grove of trees to rest in the shade and calm her furious mind. The Titans were held in reverence by dragonkind due to their prowess in battle, but whatever human that had been summoning the Titans had been performing abominable sins on them. The Titans were shells of their former selves, having none of the spirit nor intelligence that wyrms were impressed by.

"If I ever meet this human," she muttered. "I don't care how powerful he is - I'm going to roast him alive and feed him his own flesh!"

00000

"Just like you," Naruto began. "I do have a dark secret - I'm a jinchuuriki."

"A jin- ... for which one?"

"The nine-tailed fox," said the blonde.

Figgaro sat there for a long time, saying nothing. His eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed. He suddenly relaxed.

"I must apologize for my assessment of you," he said. "A good number of your faults are due to circumstances outside of your control. I have heard of jinchuuriki before, but most of them are highly volatile living weapons, according to our information. The fact that you have resisted the temptation to give into the darker natures of sapient beings improves my opinion of you."

00000

They found Jiraiya, battered, bruised, and still caked in paint, waiting for them on the roof of Naruto's apartment building.

"That was a dirty trick," Jiraiya said to Pinkie. "I approve of you ponies teaching him."

The older man rolled his shoulders. "We're going to a training ground I have set aside. You're going to show me what your cloth technique can do."

"We can do that here," Naruto replied. "It's not a flashy technique, but it's good. Just try to stab me."

Jiraiya quickly whipped out a kunai and slammed the blade to the hilt into Naruto's stomach. The boy simply swayed a little; not even his feet moved. The old man then tried to stab the blonde in the face, expecting him to dodge. Naruto leaned back slightly, twisting his torso and neck so that the tip of the blade bounced off of the fabric of his hitai-ate. He immediately grabbed Jiraiya's sleeve at the elbow.

Jiraiya was confused as to why it suddenly felt like his testicles were being squashed by his pants, but his shirt was suddenly constricting his movements. He gave a yelp of pain and surprise, and attempted to yell "WHAT!?" (but it came out a high-pitched squeak) as Naruto lifted him into the air by his sleeve, swung him in an overhead arc, and threw him off of the building.

"And that's how you throw a toad off a roof," Naruto stated to Pinkie's giggling, prone form.

Jiraiya instantly leapt back up to the roof. "How did you do that?"

"My technique," Naruto responded. "Because I had direct contact with your clothing, and your clothes all have contact with each other, I was able to easily throw you off of the building. Honestly, you don't weigh as much as someone of your stature should."

Monotonously, Jiraiya said: "I weigh about eighty-six kilograms."

"Really?"

Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose.

Pinkie snorted. "You can lift now that you've trained with us."

"Well, I was helping myself by using the fabric of my own clothing to lift my arm..."

"You should focus on actually training your physical strength," Jiraiya groaned. "You're not always going to be able to have clothes on."

Naruto gave a derisive snort.

"Laugh it up, runt! But don't come crying to me if you get attacked while you're taking a shower!"

"Then I'll stab them with the washcloth!" laughed the blonde.

00000

The next couple of weeks turned into a blur for Naruto. His knowledge was steadily increasing and his use of Tetsu Kireji Koura was improving rapidly. Rarity insisted he keep practicing it so he could keep his clothing at partial stiffness at all times to help deflect sneak-attacks, even when sleeping. His ability with Koutetsu Kireji Sori increased at the same rate, allowing him to cut through stronger materials - he could now cut into softer woods, such as red elm, with no trouble. Alder was easily cut through with the Steel Cloth Razor. But he had difficulty with the tougher woods, like cherry, red oak, and even bamboo.

At the same time, Pinkie was impressed with how well he had adapted to her fighting style and suggested he go to Applejack for the remainder of their sessions.

"Heh," AJ chuckled. "You need to increase yer muscle dens'ty."

She had him remove his jacket and shirt so she could figure out what she needed to do to train him.

"We can do that in a week?" asked the teen.

"We can start," replied the earth pony. "Ah have it on good author'ty that yer leg muscles are plenty strong."

"Pinkie?"

"Yep. Now you gotta work on them arms and chest. Yer gonna wanna use palm bursts on the apple trees. But only on the ones that still have apples on 'em. No sense in beatin' up the empty trees."

Naruto hit a tree with his legs planted in Pinkie's style. All he did was rustle the leaves. Frustrated, he tried again, a lot harder. The bark crunched slightly, but no apples fell. The teen was glad that the callouses on his palms were so strong from practicing with kunai. He tried again, as hard as he could. Two apples fell. He turned to see if Applejack noticed, but she was too busy bucking apples herself. With one leg, she kicked her tree and caused all of the apples to fall into waiting baskets.

Naruto swallowed, and tried as hard as he could to knock the fruit from his tree. Another apple fell. He glared at the branches for a moment, before realizing that he had eyes on him. He turned to see that Applejack was about fifty meters away and not even facing him as she moved to her next tree. Turning the other way he came face-to-muzzle with a crimson pony he hadn't seen before. He stepped back to note the stallion's green eyes and off-orange mane. He was massive by pony terms, almost twice as big as any other pony Naruto had met, save the princesses, and they were still larger than he, but not by much. Naruto couldn't see behind the yoke the stallion wore on his neck, but he could see unshorn fetlocks on the pony's muscular legs.

"Uh, hello," stammered the blonde.

"Howdy," the stallion replied. His eyes flicked towards the tree Naruto was hitting. "Yer wastin' energy with yer strikes."

"... okay."

"Was that Pinkie's style yer usin'?"

"Yes."

"May Ah make a suggestion?"

"Sure," Naruto wasn't sure about this stallion, but the crimson pony didn't seem all that threatening at the moment.

The pony turned towards the tree, giving Naruto a good look at the cutie mark. A green apple half showing the interior of the fruit. He also had a docked tail, much like draft horses Naruto had seen in the human world. The stallion stood up on his hind legs, his back to the blonde, facing at a tangent to the tree itself. His right forehoof suddenly struck the tree with a crack like thunder. The tree shook slightly, but all of the apples fell. The stallion returned to all-fours and looked to Naruto.

"Too much power and yer just gonna exhaust yerself. Ya need ta focus yer strike to a single point to deliver the entire force of the blow."

"I thought I was?" Naruto said.

"Ya were hittin' it with about three-thousand eight-hundred-thirty Newtons of force," the stallion insisted. "While that's enuff ta break red elm, it's not enuff ta convince the trees ta let go of the apples. Ya need ta approach seven-thousand seven-hundred Newtons ta shake them down."

"Huh," the blonde replied, at a loss for anything else to say.

Naruto suddenly heard Applejack huff behind him.

"You confusin' our summoner with yer fancy mathematics, Big Mac?"

"Nnope," replied the stallion. "Ahm just tellin' him that he's wastin' too much energy."

AJ narrowed her eyes. "It sure sounded like you was tellin' him lotsa big numbers."

"Numbers is how the world works, AJ," chuckled Big Mac. He turned to the shinobi teen. "Mah name's Big McIntosh. Ah handle the finances 'round here."

"Oh shush!" snapped the cowpony. "Ah don't wanna hear it from you."

Big Mac snorted. He then turned to Naruto. "Yer hyper-extendin'. When ya strike, ya wanna still have yer elbow bent, at least slightly." He used his forehooves to adjust Naruto's arm. "This means yer gonna need ta get closer ta yer target. Don't ferget ta use yer chakra ta root yerself ta the ground, or yer just gonna push yerself backwards."

Naruto positioned himself next to the next tree, less than an arm's length away from it.

"We strike with the centers of our hooves, Naruto," AJ called out. "But yer prolly gonna wanna strike with the heel of yer palm. Seems sturdier than the center of yer hand."

"Eeyup," agreed Big Mac.

Naruto struck the tree and was rewarded with the sound of at least twelve apples hitting the ground. Applejack whistled, drawing the blonde ninja's attention to her.

"You got a long way to go, but you are doin' better."

"Don't forget ta switch off on which arm ya use," added the stallion. "It's kinda pointless ta get strong on only one side."

00000

Naruto collapsed to his bed once he got home that night. His arms were burning from the intense workout the Apple siblings put him through.

"I hope you're not falling asleep just yet," said a familiar voice.

"Go away, Ero-sensei."

"Make me."

Naruto smiled as his sheets whipped towards Jiraiya and wrapped around him, only to frown as the old man dispelled in a puff of smoke.

Shadow clone? thought the blonde.

He was startled when Jiraiya began talking on his other side.

"I thought you might still have that seal on," said the sage.

"What, the one holding the fox?"

"No, the Gogyou Fuuin that Orochimaru placed around that one."

"WHAT!?" Naruto shouted as he looked at his navel, seeing a strange set of five symbols around the Kyuubi's prison. "Why haven't I seen this before!?"

"Because you didn't have your shirt off the last time you channeled chakra when you were this tired."

"I'm temped to hit you with my entire bed, you smug geezer."

"If that's how you're going to be about it, I suppose I shouldn't remove it."

"Do you want Pinkie to ruin your next ten trips to the hot springs?"

Jiraiya raised his finger and opened his mouth before closing it again. Open. Close. Open. Close. He put his finger down. "Fine, you ungrateful brat."

"Smelly pervert."

"Look who's talking, Mister Covered-in-Sweat."

"I bet you wish you were covered in sweat."

Jiraiya choked on his own spit. "Dammit, kid!"

"What? You think I'm going to find a book on verbal warfare in the Summon World and not read it?"

00000

End chapter five.

Next Chapter: THE FINAL EXAMS!

Author's Note

Bloody Hell. This took a year.

So, I tried to write and the file got corrupted and I lost about 60% of what I had. I ragequit and tried to do LP's on YouTube for a while. I have kinda petered out on those videos, unfortunately. I am trying to do weekly streams with Lord Shadner, mostly Borderlands the Pre-Sequel, but we haven't had the chance to do it a couple of weeks. Meh.

I'm going to be trying to write a lot more, especially since I moved my writing files onto a newer flash drive. I've been thinking about what I should put in this story almost every day when I'm at work. I have drive to get it done again, so we should expect me to try to get back to my monthly schedule again, but promises are like pie crusts: they are easily broken so I won't make any.

I'd like to thank Dumbledork for doing the beta work for this chapter, even after so long.

Happy Saint Valentine's Day!

Anyway, Soot out.

Eventful Days

Your Summon is Pink
by 5007

Disclaimer: If you're not a ninja, you probably shouldn't bother that one ninja that has a demon sealed inside of them. If you think that the demon took over, why are you bothering it? You're just gonna make yourself a target.

Chapter Six: Eventful Days

00000

The next day, Naruto improved by leaps and bounds with his control over cloth.

"Naruto?" Rarity asked. "How'd you get so good at this?"

"Well," he paused in the middle of controlling four ribbons with one hand as he considered the question. "Come to find out, an enemy combatant had placed a chakra-disruption seal on me. I've been doing the past three weeks with it on."

Rarity pawed at the ground as she watched Naruto move the ribbons in a sinuous pattern, using Koutetsu Kireji Sori at various different positons on them and moving the sharpened edges up and down their lengths as he sawed through an oak log at a rapid pace.

"I suppose you're ready for what I've designed for you then, considering you're as good at my technique as I am now."

That broke his concentration. "What do you mean? I couldn't possibly have mastered it!"

"But you have," Rarity insisted as she levitated a ruby-encrusted box out from within Carousel Boutique. "I dare say, you may surpass me in two days. While I can slice through granite with the Sori, I never thought of doing what you have to cut through that log. Combine that with your immense chakra reserves, and you could fight like that all day."

She pushed the chest towards Naruto. "I have designed some proper battle-wear for you. I intended to give it to you when you surpassed my own skill, which didn't take as long as I thought it would."

"You're okay with the fact that I am taking your art from you?" the blonde asked. "I know you were giving it to me to prove your own genius, but I never imagined I would out-pace you."

Rarity sighed. "You're sweet, but I haven't given you everything. I assume that Twilight has explained to you about chakra affinities?"

Twilight had taught his clones about the different affinities and what each of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony were - Twilight had a strong affinity for fire, but was quickly mastering all five. Fluttershy had an affinity for water. Rainbow Dash was lightning with a strong secondary affinity for wind. Pinkie was wind and seemed to have a strong affinity for fire. Applejack was overwhelmingly earth. And Rarity...

"You have an earth affinity," stated Naruto.

"True, but my magic works best with gemstones. I can't teach that to you - it's my special talent related to my cutie mark. I dare say that I could hoof you your own flanks by combining my cloth techniques with my gemstone magic and the various other cantrips I've learned." She stepped closer to Naruto. "But I think that the one fighting skill I developed myself needed to be passed from my hooves into your hands. You will prove my genius. You have worked hard enough to prove yours. Now, open the box."

He slowly opened the chest, the hinges gliding smoothly. Staring at it for a moment, he suddenly grabbed Rarity's kimono and pulled her into a hug.

00000

It was a midnight-blue kimono, almost black, with orange trim. It had an orange sunburst on the back, overlayed with the crescent moon, the crest of Equestria. The obi itself was orange and had kunai and scroll pouches attached to it. It came with a black hakama (a leg cover worn over the kimono) and a midnight-blue haori (overcoat), which covered the crest on his back. It had a small crest of Equestria on his left breast and his trademark red spiral on the right. The sleeves of the haori had an orange flame-motif trim and the back had a thin embroidery of the Konoha leaf in silver. The nagajuban (undergarment used only with kimonos) had seals inside of it that helped keep Naruto's body temperature stable and whisked away moisture, as Fire Country was a bit warmer than Ponyville.

Rarity had also gifted Naruto with a giant scroll of fabric, onto which Naruto would be able to draw whatever seals he desired, but the scroll itself was a weapon, being made of cloth. Hidden inside the sleeves of the kimono and haori were many smaller rolls of fabric, ribbons, threads, and various kinds of pins and needles, including medical senbon.

Twilight had designed a seal that was placed inside the nagajuban on the back, to passively absorb Naruto's chakra and store it for later use. Twilight also included a secondary, limiting seal that would turn off the main seal once it was at full capacity.

There were seven more identical outfits in the crate.

00000

Naruto went back to the human world that day, leaving twenty more clones with Twilight. Rarity insisted he take the day off.

The blonde wondered what he should do when he remembered that Hinata was still recovering in the hospital after nearly being murdered by her cousin. Naruto decided to take a visit to the Yamanaka Flower Shop to pick up a bouquet for her. Of course, he wasn't sure about how he felt about Hinata, so he should probably stick to flowers that meant friendship.

"Oh! Hello! Welcome to the Yamanaka Flower- Should I know you? You look familiar."

Naruto chuckled at the blonde girl. "Hello Ino."

"Naruto!?" She gaped at his appearance. "Why's your hair so long!? What's with the wardrobe change!? I didn't know you owned a kimono."

"What?" Naruto pulled his bangs down over his hitai-ate. His hair reached his chin. That diet Pinkie was having him eat seemed to promote hair growth. "Huh."

He smoothed his hair back. "I've been training for the Finals. I've learned a few new things that necessitated the change in clothing."

"... Since when do you know the word 'necessitated'?"

"Do you grill all your customers this way?"

"I noticed that you dodged my question."

"You also dodged mine."

Ino glared at Naruto from around her bangs. "Just tell me what you're buying for Sakura."

"Not for Sakura."

"WHAT!?"

00000

Naruto bought a bouquet of yellow roses, for friendship; an azalea, to ask her to take care of herself; a palm leaf, wishing her success in her future; and a pair of magnolias, the first in recognition of her noble status and the second to recognize her noble acts.

He got the room number from the secretary at the front desk. Taking the elevator, he quickly got to the appropriate floor. He found Hinata's room's door open, a raven-haired woman. She turned her red eyes to Naruto's face and glared.

Naruto's etiquette training with Rarity kicked in. He softened the features of his face as much as he could without looking as though he was fearful. He tried to convey as much non-aggression as possible through his eyes while maintaining eye-contact, despite the fact that he felt his hackles trying to rise. A brief pause while letting the woman stare him down before he spoke.

"Good morning, Yuuhi-san," he said evenly. He turned his eyes to the bed where Hinata looked ready to hide under her sheets. "Good morning, Hinata-chan. I brought you a bouquet."

The Hyuuga girl squeaked before mustering a response. "... th-thank you, Naruto-kun."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Yuuhi Kurenai's glare vanished and her features softened. Evidently, she hadn't recognized him. Of course, he remembered her as Hinata's Jounin-sensei. He also remembered that Kurenai had nearly attacked Neji when he had attempted to murder Hinata in the preliminary matches almost a month ago.

"I hadn't realized you may have had company already," he said, his voice genuine. "But I am glad you had your sensei visiting you already."

He deftly removed a dying bouquet from the vase on the nightstand beside Hinata's bed and replaced it with his. By the looks of things, the nearly-dead flowers had been placed there by hospital staff almost a week prior. He filed the information into the back of his mind for later.

"My apologies for not coming by sooner," he said, setting the old bouquet on its side on the nightstand. "I've been training extensively for the Finals. I hope my late arrival does not offend."

Hinata squeaked as she shook her head in the negative. Naruto found the behavior adorable - it reminded him of Fluttershy. He also noticed her flushed cheeks - was she embarrassed? Wait...

Naruto gave a bright smile a split-second later. He had finally recognized what her behavior meant and cross-referenced it with her past behaviors - she had a major crush on him. It seemed Twilight's study-sessions on psychology and observation were paying dividends.

His smile had Hinata looking elsewhere while her index fingers tapped together. Kurenai had a small smile on her face - she had figured out that Naruto realized Hinata's feelings for him.

"So," he began. "When are they going to let you out of the hospital?"

"Um..." floundered the dark-bluette.

Kurenai finally spoke. "She is released the day after tomorrow at noon."

"Really?" Naruto dragged the word out slightly. "I suppose I should be back then - we can go someplace to eat to celebrate your recovery." The blonde immediately pointed at Kurenai as she opened her mouth. "And no, I'm not going to insist on ramen. That's not the sort of food you eat on a date."

The black-haired woman smirked as Hinata's face turned beet-red.

"Unless, of course, you don't want to go on a date, Hinata-chan," he ammended. "I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want to d-"

"NOLET'SDATE!" the lavender-eyed girl shouted suddenly. Immediately regretting her outburst, Hinata squeaked again and hid under her sheets.

"If you insist," the blonde chuckled. "I'll be by at eleven-thirty in two days."

Suddenly remembering something, Naruto turned to Kurenai. "By the way, is Rock Lee still injured?"

"As is Chouji," she answered. "Are you going to pay them a visit?"

"I probably should, since I'm here." He turned to the bed where Hinata hid under the sheets. "Have a good day, Hinata-chan."

00000

Kurenai was impressed with how well Naruto had cleaned-up. While still a little clumsy with the execution, the boy had improved his social graces - he probably had a tutor of some sort or had discovered the memory-transferrence property of his shadow clones and was reading a library somewhere. She remembered Asuma saying something about doing that himself once he was confident in the jutsu.

Additonally, Naruto seemed to have filled-out a little - gone was his scrawniness. His hair had grown surprisingly long as well - perhaps he was taking some sort of keratin supplement? Considering that it was said in the Jounin grapevine that he was being trained by Jiraiya, the Toad Sage may be preparing Naruto to learn the Hari Jizou (Needle Jizo), a jutsu that weaponizes the user's hair.

The way the boy moved now spoke of a hidden grace. Before, his movements were hopelessly inefficient but still effective. Now, he seemed like a cat ready to pounce when he was still, but with a spring to his step when he walked - almost like he was trying not to bounce. Extremely odd, but potentially very dangerous.

The boy's wardrobe change was the most surprising though. His gaudy orange wasn't completely gone, but had been transformed into a more appropriate form while the rare hint of dark-blue he used to wear had been darkened and expanded. The jumpsuit he wore had been entirely replaced with a kimono. As far as Kurenai's trained eyes could see, he had pockets hidden in his sleeves and various other places in the garments he wore. The boy was probably a walking arsenal, but the giant scroll he had strapped to his back was very out-of-place. Then again, if Jiraiya had been teaching him seals...

Kurenai also pondered the fact that Naruto had been seen around town with some strange summoned-horse creatures on a few occasions. It was possible that these equines could be teaching him things.

Now Kurenai had to make sure Hinata would be able to go on her date.

00000

Naruto saw Shikamaru carrying a basket of fruit.

"What's up, Shika?" the blonde asked as he fell into step with the lazy scion of the Nara family.

"Doctors say Chouji can't have this fruit," sighed Shikamaru. "Why're you here?"

"Hinata was still in the hospital. She gets out soon."

The black-haired teen didn't say anything for a moment. "About time you noticed her."

"Has it been that obvious?" A step later. "Don't answer that."

Shikamaru groaned. "Where are we going now?"

"I figure we should check on Rock Lee."

00000

Gaara had to do it. It had to be done. He had to validate his existence. The bowl-cut, taijutsu specialist's very breaths cause pain to Gaara. But crushing him immediately would be too quick. Mother was howling for the boy's blood. Soon, Mother. We will smother him slowly. Yessss...

Wait, why can't I move, he thought.

Incredibly, he found his face punched heavily.

"Gah!" excaimed a voice.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked another voice.

"Naruto," muttered the first voice. "You do remember that I feel what he feels when I've got him locked with my shadow, right?"

"Sorry Shikamaru."

Gaara found himself staring down two of the other finalists for the Exams. The lazy boy, Shikamaru, and the idiot, Naruto. While the second looked different, he was still that idiot from before. As the last of the sand retreated back into Gaara's gourd, the blonde spoke again.

"What did you think you'd accomplish?"

"... I wanted to kill him," Gaara replied after a short pause.

"What?"

Shikamaru looked worried. "Why would you want to do that? You already won your match against him... Is this some sort of personal vendetta?"

"No," Gaara chuckled. "Nothing like that. I want to kill him because... I want to kill him."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "I don't think you understand the question. Or how cause and effect are correlated. The effect is that you want to kill him. What is the cause?"

Shikamaru almost missed what Gaara said next due to his surprise at how sophisticated Naruto suddenly sounded.

"If you continue to interfere, I'll kill you too."

While Shikamaru tried to find a way to stall for time, Naruto was already acting.

"And what would that accomplish? Even people like you don't just wantonly kill everyone they meet. What do you have to gain from the deaths of three people from an allied ninja village?"

"You idiot," Shika whispered. "Why are you egging him on? This guy's a real monster."

"You worry too much - I've gotten strong over the past month. Besides, I'm pretty sure the monster in me is stronger than him," Naruto whispered back.

Before Shikamaru could even process that comment, Gaara began speaking again.

"A monster, eh? I've got one of those in me too. I robbed my mother of her life when I was born, because my father decided to use a forbidden ninjutsu to seal an incarnation of sand inside me as I was birthed. I was BORN a monster!"

Naruto folded his arms. "Jinchuuriki, the power of human sacrifice. I know of it."

Shikamaru glanced at the blonde but didn't comment.

"A monk of the sand, Shukaku, had been sealed inside of a teakettle. His spirit was resealed into me."

"That's just messed-up," Shikamaru stated. "What kind of parent does that to their child? What a twisted love."

"Love?" Gaara growled. "Don't judge me by your standards. Family is just a word. Husks of flesh connected by hatred and murderous intent." Gaara glared at the two of them. "My mother was murdered so I could be brought to life as Suna's greatest weapon! My father, the Kazekage, taught me one ninja art after the other, sheltered me, isolated me... I thought that was love." He growled again. "Until the incident."

"... w-what incident?" stuttered Shikamaru.

Gaara lost focus with his eyes and smiled. "For the past six years, half of my life, my father's been trying to kill me! I've lost count of the failed attempts!"

"What do you mean?" asked Shikamaru. "I thought you said you were sheltered and spoiled..."

"They realized I was too dangerous!" laughed Gaara. "A presence that is too powerful is feared. The fools of the village elders realized their error - they thought I was unstable, and my father agreed! I was too much of a liability! Hazardous material must be disposed of!"

The red-headed child suddenly became somber. "So... If I am a relic of the past that the elders just want to erase, what is the meaning of my existence? What is my purpose? At first, I had no answer. Without such a purpose, I might as well be dead."

Naruto's eyes widened with recognition - he had felt those feelings before, when he was neglected at the orphanage all those years ago.

"Eventually," continued Gaara, "I came up with this: 'I exist to kill all humans besides myself.' Living in constant fear of a successful assassination attempt, I found solace. By killing those who sought to kill me, I justified my existence. I felt alive."

Shikamaru shifted his weight, clearly uncomfortable, which forced Gaara to move. Gaara smiled.

"I will fight for myself and love only myself. All others exist for me to amplify that love. As I kill, I feel alive. This is a beautiful world, one in which there are people for me to kill. As they continue to die by my hand, I will not cease to exist."

I may have become like him, realized Naruto. In fact, if Iruka-sensei hadn't helped me I'm sure of it. But this kid's still alone. He has no one and will kill us, given the chance.

Naruto started letting a ribbon slide out of each sleeve, sensing that Gaara was about to make his move.

"Now," Gaara began, sand tendrils rising behind him. "HELP ME FEEL ALIVE!"

Shikamaru realized that his control over Gaara had broken and took a step back. Naruto began spooling more ribbons out of his sleeves, intent on fighting as hard as he could.

"ENOUGH!" said a voice as a foot stomped hard enough to send cracks spiderwebbing along the floor.

The three boys turned to see Might Guy, the Jounin-sensei of Rock Lee, standing in the doorway of the hospital room.

"Save it for the Exam Finals," he demanded, an implied threat in his voice. "You can wait three days. Unless you wish to be an inpatient today?"

Gaara clutched his skull as his sand returned to the giant gourd on his back. He groaned as he walked to the door. Guy side-stepped, allowing him to pass.

As Gaara reached the threshhold, he groaned. "I will kill you all."

After Naruto was sure he was out of earshot, he turned to Guy. "You heard that he's a Jinchuuriki, right?"

Guy raised an eyebrow but nodded. Shikamaru looked up from where he was sitting, having taken a chair to prepare for the adrenaline crash.

"Something weird is going on," Naruto stated. "I've noticed that my summon animals are making preparations for war."

"Indeed," Guy agreed, causing Shikamaru's eyes to widen. "But sometimes, the best way to counteract a trap is to spring it. Carry on as if you don't suspect a thing."

"What a pain," sighed the Nara boy.

"Agreed," said the blonde.

00000

Twilight insisted on sending a letter to Celestia the next day. Information about a confirmed enemy would need to be distributed to the appropriate commanders. As the Matriarch Prime of the Equestrian Armed Forces, Celestia would know who needed to know about Gaara.

"Now, about that date you have with the Hyuuga girl," Twilight began, "I think you should leave an extra clone with me. I'll have Rarity come over and we'll test your knowledge."

Naruto shrugged and summoned the number of clones Twilight required. He stepped outside and had to walk around a skycarriage full of books - Twilight had mentioned that she would need to acquire more books for him to read as he had nearly finished off the non-fiction section of Golden Oaks Library.

As he arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, he discovered that Big MacIntosh wanted to give him some advice. But not on striking technique.

"AJ heard you're gonna go on a date tomorrow," he drawled as he observed Naruto's progress. The boy could almost clear a tree of apples in four strikes. Quite impressive, considering that it took exactly six on the first day (once he used the proper technique).

"Twilight and Rarity are going to make sure I do well," Naruto said in between breaths. He was surprised about how fast information travelled through the pony grapevine.

"That's fine. But they will be givin' ya the female's perspective on dates. Yer gonna need the male perspective. Ahm gonna give ya some pointers as ya train." Big Mac's tone brokered no arguments.

"Alright," Naruto said as he concentrated on the next tree.

"Now the girls are gonna tell ya about how ta make sure yer date is havin' a good time. While Ahm gonna say that ya need ta also have fun, ya do need ta have a few precautions. From whut Ah heard, yer date is an heiress. The last thing ya need is her pappy comin' after ya for gettin' her pregnant."

Naruto missed the tree entirely and smashed his face into the bark.

00000

Naruto waited in the lobby of the hospital, feeling nervous, especially after Big Mac insisted that Naruto be given "the talk" and taught about safe-sex practices. While Naruto knew most of the mechanics about procreation and birth-control, there were a few things Big Mac did teach him. For example, Naruto had no idea that cold-sores in the mouth could turn into genital herpes if they came into contact with your partner. That wasn't something that any of the magazines he used to research the Sexy no Jutsu had mentioned.

Naruto supposed it was best that Big Mac had been the one to tell him about the birds and the bees, though. He couldn't imagine how embarrassing it might have been if Applejack had been the one to tell him. Or worse, Pinkie.

Naruto stood up as he heard Kurenai's voice echoing from the hallway. He smiled at Hinata as she rounded the corner with her Jounin-sensei. The raven-haired kunoichi had made sure that Hinata was prepared. Hinata was in a red kimono with an intricate black floral pattern. The blue obi was tied in the otaiko pattern, the most traditional knot for women to wear. Naruto noticed that Hinata seemed to wear her mesh shirt underneath the kimono rather than a nagajuban. Briefly, the boy thanked Rarity for her foresight in adding moisture-removal seals to his own nagajuban.

He realized that he may have been staring a bit and tried to cover it with a bow to Hinata. He noticed that she bowed as deeply as he had, meaning that she wished for him to be viewed as an equal. At least, according to that one book Twilight had his clone read.

He still let her cease the bow first. He spared a quick glance to Kurenai, noticing that she was relaxed, but her face showed a slight suspicion towards Naruto. Again, he was grateful that Rarity had the seals placed on his clothing.

He offered his arm to Hinata. "Shall we get going?"

The shy heiress swallowed but nodded. She took his arm, seeming to be happily-embarrassed.

00000

Naruto felt elated. Sure, he wasn't on a date with Sakura (which he had always dreamed of), but he was enjoying Hinata's company. She may have been quiet, but she listened intently as he told her about his summons.

"... and Rarity is what's called a 'battle-seamstress', and she taught me this really cool technique. She's a unicorn who taught herself how to be a ninja. Fluttershy is a very quiet pegasus, but she's also a medic-nin. I haven't really seen her do anything combative though. You'd probably like her."

He looked at her, to make sure she wasn't bored.

"They all s-sound lovely," she muttered. After a moment, she asked "Where are we going?"

"I know of this nice restaurant," he explained. "Not too nice, of course, but I'm pretty sure we'd be able to get in."

The maitre d' didn't give Naruto any hastle about wanting a table for two without a reservation. Naruto checked his haori - while the maitre d' didn't insist he seal it into a scroll and leave it with her, he knew it was more polite. Besides, not even half of his weapons were in it. They only had to wait five minutes to be seated.

Naruto was feeling good about the situation. He had recognized many of the staff of the restaurant as some of his former tormentors, from before he joined the ninja academy, but none of them had seemed to recognize him. That, or they were afraid that any discrimination against Naruto would result in upsetting the Hyuuga heiress, which could bring her father into the mix. No one would want to anger a clan leader, especially not this close to the Exam Finals - there were visiting merchants and dignitaries from all over the known world and bad customer service would drive away most of their future profits from tourism.

At least, that's what Naruto had hoped would happen. While Hinata seemed to enjoy conversing with Naruto, she began to look confused at some of the activity around them. Naruto held up his glass of water and watched other people be seated. He even watched waiters visit the tables of people who had arrived after them.

"... and my summons have - even they are getting served before us?" Naruto asked of the reflection in his glass. "They haven't even been here two minutes. We've been here an hour."

Naruto was fuming. He slipped a ryou note under his glass with something else underneath it.

"I'm sorry about this, Hinata-chan," he sighed. "Looks like we're going to have to eat somewhere else."

The maitre d' claimed that she couldn't find Naruto's scroll. The blonde was sorely tempted to spit in the woman's face when Hinata spoke up.

"It's that one, third from the top, second to the left," she stated louder than Naruto had ever heard her speak. He glanced to her to see veins bulging around her eyes, meaning her dojutsu (eye technique) was active.

The woman looked at it, even picked it up, before she set it back where it was. "That one isn't his."

Hinata started openly glaring at the maitre d'. "You will give him his haori back or else the Hyuuga will shut this place down and confiscate all of the money in your accounts."

"I'm not scared of your empty threats," the woman said. "We can't refuse entry to this demon child, but we can refuse him service."

Absolutely confused, Hinata turned to the livid blonde.

"I've tried being nice," he muttered. "Return my clothes to me or face immediate consequences."

"Like what?" sneered the maitre d'. "You can't hurt us without being imprisoned."

Naruto smirked. "Just remember: you asked."

He suddenly grabbed the sleeve of her dress and she found her clothing forcing her to move. She began to be pushed out from behind the podium. She started screaming only to find that her dress had returned to normal. She turned to see that both Naruto and Hinata were gone. So was the boy's scroll with his haori.

A chuunin rushed into the building and asked her what had happened. As soon as the woman opened her mouth, the paper underneath the ryou "tip" at the table exploded with a foul-smelling substance. Naruto had left one of his trademark stinkbombs as a reward. It had only detonated when one of the waiters picked up the glass to get at the money.

Staff and clientelle exited the building, coughing and cursing as the acrid smoke kept spewing from the paper seal the blonde had left.

00000

About an hour after they left the restaurant...

"I'm so sorry," Naruto apologized again. They were sitting on top of the head of the Fourth Hokage. "I wanted to give you a good place to eat, but they must have recognized me."

"I d-don't understand why th-they would do that," Hinata said, looking down into the village. A yellow-brown smoke could still be seen rising from the restaurant. "And w-what did sh-she mean by 'demon'?"

Naruto stiffened slightly.

"I've h-heard some of the civilians s-say it when you passed by when w-we were younger," the bluette continued. "I don't un-understand why so much of Konoha seems t-to hate you."

"I can't tell you," Naruto said. "At least, not yet. There's not many people I can tell. My teammates don't even know."

"Not even Kakashi-san?"

Naruto shook his head. "He knows. I sort of wish I could see him before the Finals tomorrow. You know, let him know what's going on."

The boy sighed. He looked up towards the billowing smoke. "I'm not looking forward to that conversation with the Hokage."

"Uh... um... How m-much longer w-will the s-smoke keep c-coming?"

Naruto smiled fondly. "One of my summons, Pinkie Pie, came up with it. That smoke is non-toxic. The seal will keep spewing it for another four hours. The smell will stick to everything in the restaurant after that much exposure."

"Y-you put them out o-of business on m-my behalf?"

"I did," he turned to Hinata. "I'm sorry I can't take you out to eat."

Hinata could see the sorrow in his eyes. Hesitantly, she took his hand. "It's okay."

She surprised herself with her lack of stutter, but she tensed when she heard something. Naruto heard it too, having palmed a kunai. An ANBU with a raccoon mask came out from the underbrush in the small wood behind the Hokage Monument, her hands open and up in the attitude of non-aggression.

"Pardon me, Hyuuga-san, Uzumaki-san," she began. "The Hokage invites you both to have a late lunch with him in his office."

"Really?" Naruto said, suspicion barely kept out of his voice. Naruto knew that there were ninja from other villages arriving today, as well as all sorts of tourists and dignitaries. While it was unlikely that this ANBU was an impostor who happened to know who he was, he wasn't taking any chances. Also, it was possible for this woman to be a Kumo (Cloud) agent from Lightning Country trying to take Hinata for her bloodline. It was a good thing that Hiruzen had taught him some of the ANBU passphrases for checking identity. "The tiger hunts at night."

"And all are prey that cross its path."

Naruto relaxed. That was the confirmation phrase that also meant that no hostiles were nearby. "Will you escort us to the Tower?"

00000

Eating with the Hokage was surprisingly relaxing for Hinata. Naruto seemed to be tense even though Sarutobi Hiruzen said they weren't in trouble.

After the main dish was served, Hiruzen turned to Naruto. "So how much money did it take to make that seal?"

"Uh... About two-hundred bits," Naruto muttered.

Hinata didn't understand. "W-what's a bit?"

"It's the form of currency Equestria uses," he explained. "I'm not sure how that translates into ryou, but a loaf of bread is three bits."

"That's an expensive seal," the Hokage surmised. "Did you have to pay for it?"

"Pinkie made it. Twilight helped make the chemical compound."

"And you have more of these gas tags?"

Naruto didn't answer but did shrink in his seat almost imperceptively.

"I see," the Hokage replied. "While I'm not sure exactly how much ryou I should give you, I think three-hundred should cover the costs of making the seal, plus another hundred-fifty for your time."

Both Hinata and the blonde boy looked at the Hokage as if the old man had just gone completely senile.

"I... I thought I had to wait for the Exams to be over before I started pranking again."

The old man smiled. "That's what I would have preferred. But that restaurant embarrassed the name of Konoha. Some of the dignitaries who were present were calling for the maitre d's head. I was sorely tempted to have it delivered to them on a silver platter. Literally." Taking another bite of his food, the Hokage continued. "As it is, the owner of the restaurant, who was present and ordered the waiters to ignore you, no longer owns property in Konoha. He has six more hours to leave the city. The maitre d' is being thrown out of Konoha as well."

"I... would rather not have ruined their lives, Jiji," Naruto admitted. "It leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

"Unfortunately, they ruined their own lives," the old man replied. "As for the punishment enacted on them, I actually had to do something. To let an insult to our allies like that go unpunished could mean war down the road. This is not the first time I've had to punish someone this way, though this is the first time it has brought me a measure of satisfaction."

"Um..." Hinata managed. "What d-do you mean?"

"Many people have slighted Naruto over the years," the Hokage sighed. "This is the first time I was able to punish his transgressors without repurcussions from the village council."

Unspoken went the annoyances that all ninja in Konoha dealt with on behalf of the council. While the council was comprised almost entirely of ninja, the ten members of the council who were civilians also had a say, though not as much of one as the ninja. Each civilian council member had one vote. Retired jounin had three votes each. Clan heads had five votes. The Hokage's chief advisors, Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu (his teammates from his genin days), each had seven. Two special members, Shimura Danzou and Akimichi Torifu, each had six votes. The Hokage had ultimate veto power, but his decision could be overrulled with enough votes.

"What is nice about this arrangement," the Hokage began again after another bite, "is that Naruto's prank budget has been ratified. The only ones who opposed were the civilians. That means that the arrangement is locked-in and cannot be overturned. As it stands, Naruto is effectively my secret weapon against the council, though I'm not above getting pranked either."

Naruto gave a sad smile as he contemplated the situation.

00000

Hinata led Naruto to a secluded training ground. It had a healthy copse of trees and a brook running through it.

"What are we doing here?"

"Um..." she stammered. "I often c-come here to meditate."

"Huh."

Naruto looked around. From the looks of the training posts, they were worn, but intact. He supposed that the Hyuuga's Gentle Fist style didn't cause much in the way of external damage, but he took a closer look at one of the posts. It appeared to have holes with chakra burns all over the post. Naruto found it fascinating as he inspected the piece of wood.

"This is your personal training ground?"

"M-mostly," the bluette admitted. "I'm the only o-one who uses it n-now."

Naruto pondered the evidence for a moment. According to what he could remember from history lessons at the Academy, most Hyuuga had earth-natured chakra.

He turned to see Hinata standing slightly behind another one of the posts, watching Naruto as he looked about. When he made eye contact, she blushed and looked away. He smiled and walked over to her.

"Can I see your hands for a moment?" Her blush deepened, but she presented her hands and he interlaced his fingers with hers and closed his eyes. "Channel a little bit of chakra to your palms, if you would."

Her blush disappeared, but she wasn't upset. Only curious.

Naruto had learned from Twilight how to detect someone's elemental affinities. Ponies used their hooves as they did not have access to the trees that chakra-sensitive paper was made from, but Naruto figured out how to use his hands to perform the test.

"Your chakra affinity is water, unlike the rest of your family," Naruto stated with closed eyes. "You also have an above-average chakra capacity, excellent control, and soft hands." Naruto's eyes opened as he smirked, seeing that Hinata's blush had returned. "You also have pretty eyes, Hinata."

Suddenly, Hinata spread her arms wide, dragging Naruto's arms with them and pulling him closer. His yelp of surprise was interrupted as Hinata locked lips with him.

All thought fled his mind as he initially failed to process this turn of events. As an electric tingle ran down his spine, the warmth of Hinata's mouth against his invited him to return the kiss. Just as he began to realize how close he was with Hinata, as well as the fact that this must be her first kiss, he felt her tongue touch his lips. He opened his mouth as he felt his heart race, beating a staccatto of passion as they began dueling with their tongues.

At some point, he felt a massive burning in his chest and recognized it as oxygen starvation. Reluctantly, they broke the kiss, panting for air. As Naruto's mind resumed working, he realized that they must have disentangled their hands as he felt the sensation of Hinata slowly release the grip she had on his collar to slide her hands behind his neck. He immediately realized that his hands were on her hips, holding her close to him. Very close. Had they been grinding while they kissed? Naruto thought so. It was a good thing that he was keeping his bulge from being noticeable with his cloth techniques - he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle the embarrassment otherwise.

Hinata, though out of breath, was positively ecstatic. Not only had she finally managed to kiss Naruto, but she'd done it on her own choice. She was able to reach out and get one of the things she wanted for herself. For the previous few moments, nothing else mattered. No fractured Clan, no politics, no disappointed Father, no Chuunin Exams, no Village out to get the boy she loved. Just her, Naruto, and passion.

She leaned into Naruto as he slipped one hand onto her lower back and began running the other through her short hair. She sighed in contentment as she put her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it began to slow down from the rush. She breathed in his scent - a smell not unlike a combination of sunlight, effort, and a hint of vanilla. Wait... that really was vanilla she was smelling! He must have some kind of cologne.

Naruto enjoyed the moment, cuddling with Hinata as he felt his bloodflow return to normal. He inhaled deeply, detecting the scent of lavender in her hair. He opened his eyes on the exhale, noticing that the sun was quickly approaching the mountain range to the West. He realized that they'd miss the view of the sunset he intended to show her if they stayed here too much longer!

"There's something I have to show you," Naruto said, Hinata's eyes shooting open as her mind fell into the gutter. "We've got to hurry if we're going to make it though!"

She hesitated, but stepped back and took his arm as he led her towards the Village Walls. While disappointed that that wasn't on his mind, she was also relieved as she wasn't sure she was ready for elevating their relationship to that level yet. After all, this was only their first date.

Unseen and undetected, Jiraiya stifled a cheer as he put his spyglass away. He had to admit that the kid had some natural talent when it came to wooing women. The old pervert was slightly upset that he hadn't taught the boy any of his moves, but was happy that the blonde seemed to be adjusting to things that he was previously too inept to handle. It must be the influence the ponies were having on his life. While Jiraiya had intended for Naruto to be a Toad Summoner, he wasn't sure the toads' way of handling interpersonal relationships would have been beneficial for the boy.

In any case, Naruto had given him enough inspiration. He began to walk off, furiously writting in his little notebook.

00000

The two kunoichi ANBU that operated the watchtower Naruto had taken Hinata to had let the young teens climb to the very top.

Naruto had met them on many occasions throughout the years, but insisted that Naruto not learn their names. They were part of a two-team squad that operated this particular tower. They kept track of movement both within and without the village with their telescopes and spyglasses. A series of seals allowed them to send messages to the other watchtowers as well as to the Hokage's Tower. They were excellent at keeping track of civilians, merchants, and foreign dignitaries and their entourages, but the watchtowers were almost completely ineffective at detecting ninja movements. Though that's not what the watchtowers were built for, back when Konoha was built. They were for keeping track of siege engines, samurai movements, and the like as well as creating some artificial high ground. For the detection of ninja movements, ninja squads patrolled the terrain around the village.

This particular watchtower was the highest in Konoha, and all eight operatives had met Naruto and allowed him to enter the tower. Some of the ANBU at this tower seemed to barely tolerate his presence, but the rest seemed friendly enough. All of them let Naruto use the telescopes when he was little and tried to teach him about detecting important movement through the forest canopy with varying degrees of success.

The two ANBU thought that Naruto and his date made a cute couple. They also thought it was quite romantic of him to want to share the sunset with Hinata. They tuned the teens out as they continued to monitor the area.

"You'll like the view, I promise," Naruto said as he gestured towards the mountain range that was under the sun.

As the sun began to dip below the horizon, the light caught on millions of reflective surfaces on the sides of the mountains, adding a cacophony of lights to the already impressive display of golds, oranges, reds and purples that the sky had become. Hinata gasped at the view.

"Apparently, those shiny surfaces are mica deposits," Naruto said. Hinata nodded, but continued to observe the brilliant sunset. "Only on a few evenings of the year do we get this effect, and it's best seen from this tower."

She leaned into him as he prattled about how he discovered this phenomena, feeling that the day had ended quite well, despite the earlier hiccups.

00000

Naruto made sure to kiss Hinata's hand when he dropped her off at Kurenai's place. After promising to take her out again, Naruto walked down the street, trying really hard to not bounce. He felt the sensation of being summoned to Equestria and accepted the call. His time being summoned back and forth between realms had increased his tolerance to the interdimensional turbulence and his pain threshold. He barely had to clear his throat when Rarity's hoof poked him in the chest.

"So~o, how did it go~o?" she sang.

Before he answered, he spotted the other five Element Bearers staring at him with great anticipation within the Golden Oaks Library.

"Well, there were bad parts, but it wasn't my fault, nor was it hers. But I'd say it was a great first date."

And he recounted the tale of the day.

00000

The morning had finally arrived. The last of the delegates entered the walls of the Village and were escorted to the Arena stands. Naruto was out of bed and dressed within seconds, due to his control over cloth. He forced his heart to stop racing and evened out his breathing.

"No time for last-minute jitters," he muttered to himself. "The Tetsu Kireji Koura should protect me from the Gentle Fist strikes and should be all-but-invisible to Neji's eyes. And my backup chakra has two full-tanks charged to it. I can do this. I can do this!" (Iron Cloth Shell)

Cutting through a training field to get to the Arena quicker, the blonde saw Hinata. Naruto found it to be a strange coincidence that she'd be waiting for him, in the very field Kakashi had tested his worthiness for the rank of genin no less. She must have seen him with her eyes and gotten ahead of him.

"Hey Hina-chan."

"H-hello Naruto." She turned towards him, slightly startled.

Must be a coincidence after all.

"I know Neji's your cousin. Do you think he's strong?"

"Y-yeah. He is. V-very."

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I see."

"B-but I'm sure you c-can beat him, Naruto-kun. B-because -"

"I'm really strong, yes?" Naruto's voice was a little subdued. The silence was so thick one could cut it with a knife.

After a couple of minutes... "Look, I know how much I boast about my strength. I'm not quite as strong as I seem, Hinata. I act tough due to my frustration with my many failures but -"

"Naruto!" There was a firmness in her voice he had never thought would be there. "Even though you fail, y-you have the strength to get back up and try again. That is what I b-believe strength is." Her voice got quieter. "That's why, when you cheered me on during my fight with Neji, I felt a change within me. I was ready to give up a-and you helped me."

Naruto smiled. "Thanks Hina-chan. That really helps. Do you want me to walk you to the Arena?"

"Y-yes!"

Several minutes later...

"Hey Hinata, sorry I'm late but Shino's match isn't 'till later... Where'd she go?"

A puppy barked.

"Huh? Hinata's already been here? Why didn't she wait?"

Another bark.

"Naruto's been here recently too?" Kiba thought about it for a moment. "That sly bastard. He escorted her to the Arena!" He laughed. "C'mon Akamaru, we'll see if we can't get there ahead of them."

Bark.

00000

Potential clients and ninja filled the seats of the stadium. Seven genin stood around a new proctor, Genma Shiranui. With brown, shoulder-length hair and brown eyes, Genma doesn't posess an imposing figure. Even his backwards bandana hitai-ate and the senbon (medical needle) he carries in his mouth give the impression that he's incapable, but his jounin vest attested to his skill.

Gaara and his brother and sister, Kankuro and Temari, stood to Genma's left with Neji between him and the three siblings. To his right stood Naruto, Shikamaru, and scion of the Aburame clan, Shino. Sasuke was nowhere to be found, and the Sound ninja, Dosu, was also absent.

Shikamaru glanced around trying to find Dosu, curious as to his whereabouts. Naruto noted that Sasuke was missing.

Probably picked up Kakashi-sensei's habitual lateness, Naruto smirked to himself.

"Stop looking around," Genma chided the genin. "Face the clients. In this main portion of the tournament, you guys are the stars. Look professional."

In that time, the Hokage learned that the ANBU teams hadn't located Sasuke or Kakashi yet, but he had to cut the report short as a guest had shown his face.

"Ah! Kazekage-dono, what a pleasure to see you again!" the old man rasped, voice full of good cheer. (Lord Wind-Shadow)

The younger man sat in his seat, flanked by two bodyguards.

"You must be tired from the long journey," began the elder Kage.

"Not at all! Good thing it's held here this time. The trip may have been too much for you though, Hokage-dono. Maybe it's time you decide on another replacement?"

The Hokage chuckled. "I'm not quite that old. I plan on doing this for another five years. Well then, let's begin."

He stood up and channeled a portion of chakra to his lungs and larynx. "WELCOME ALL TO THE CHUUNIN EXAMS FINALS! WE WILL NOW START THE MAIN TOURNAMENT MATCHES BETWEEN THE EIGHT PARTICIPANTS WHO PASSED THE PRELIMINARIES. PLEASE STAY AND WATCH UNTIL THE END!"

"If there are eight contestants," noted the Kazekage. "One seems absent..."

Back down on the Arena floor, Genma pulled out a piece of paper. "There's been a change in the roster. Please study it to confirm your bouts."

Dosu's name was missing entirely. Naruto was still paired against Neji as Gaara was still paired against Sasuke. Kankuro was now paired against Shino and Shikamaru against Temari.

"Question," Naruto began. "Sasuke seems to be missing. What happens now?"

"If he's not here by the start of his match, he forfeits by default."

Naruto knew that Sasuke would have dragged his half-dead carcass to the tournament if he had to. Something seemed to have happened.

"Alright," began Genma. "This is the final test. The battleground may be different than within that tower, but the rules are the same: you fight until one of you dies or forfeits. If I've determined that the match is over, I step in and stop it. No arguments. Got that?"

He scanned the faces of the assorted genin.

"Good. First match is Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Neji. You two stay down here. The rest of you clear out and wait at the observation balcony."

After a moment, Neji spoke.

"You seem like you have something to say."

Naruto brought his fist up and clenched it towards Neji. "Nothing I haven't said before, but I'll say it again: you're going down."

Neji activated his Byakkugan, the All-Seeing White Eye, the special bloodline that allows for 359-degree perception that pierces through materials.

"BEGIN!" declared Genma.

Not a shred of doubt in him. He's totally confident... Neji observed. "Heh. That makes it worthwhile... It'll be fun to watch you far apart when you discover you're destined to fa-"

"Stop talking." Naruto punctuated his statemet with a brace of thrown shuriken. While Neji dodged them, part of his jacket was cut. While the Hyuuga was preoccupied dodging that, Naruto spawned thirty shadow clones. They began rushing the lavender-eyed boy in waves of five, wielding kunai. They stuck to the ground at odd angles with feet and hands, stacking on top of one another, and jumping high to attack from above.

Neji found himself hard-pressed to block the attacks, much less eliminate the clones. It didn't help that their chakra networks appeared identical to the original either. Every time he tried to counter an attack, another kunai was coming for his unprotected flank, or for his back, or his knee. He didn't want to reveal his trump card just yet, but he was being forced into it.

"HAKKESHOU KAITEN!" (Eight Trigrams Palms: Revolving Heaven)

Neji spun counterclockwise, expending chakra from every tenketsu (pressure points that are chakra nodes) from his body, creating a rotating shield of chakra blocking the clones' attacks and dispelling half of them. The other half were ejected violently from the spinning dome, most dispelling on impact with other objects.

In the stands, the various Hyuuga were surprised to see Neji, who was a Branch House member of the clan, use a technique taught only to the Main House members.

The real Naruto completed a string of hand seals, finishing with the bird seal. "Fuuton: Daitoppa." (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)

Overcharging the jutsu with chakra, Naruto expended a violent gust of wind from his lungs, creating a solid wall of air that rushed towards Neji, whose rotation was slowing down. Before he could react, the Hyuuga was tossed off his feet and tumbled through the dust. He ending his roll with a handstand and flipped back to his feet, having seen Naruto rushing towards his position at a frightening rate. Just before reaching Neji, the blonde tumbled forwards, sticking to the ground with his left hand and swinging his right foot for an overhead axe-heel kick. Neji sidestepped to his left only for Naruto to plant his right foot on the ground and striking Neji in the chest with his right palm. The blow knocked the wind out of the Hyuuga, cracked a rib, and sent him tumbling backwards.

Neji flooded his lungs with chakra, forcing himself to take in air, becoming painfully aware of the hairline fracture in his chest. He looked up to meet Naruto's eyes with his own, glaring hatred into the blue, confident irises of the blonde.

"Looks like you have something to say," Naruto stated.

"Yes. Hakke Rokujuuyon Shou." (Eight Trigrams: Sixty-Four Palms)

Neji hurled himself forward, quickly striking Naruto once in the chest and another in the stomach before he could react. "Two!"

He struck another two times on either side of Naruto's sternum. "Four!"

Three more times he struck the blonde in the chest with a fourth strike hitting the boy's right thigh. "Eight!"

Taking a step forward, he struck at Naruto's arms and legs twice each. "Sixteen!"

Concentrating on Naruto's face and shoulders, he struck another sixteen times. "Thirty-Two!"

Finally, he hit the remaining tenketsu in Naruto's body, finishing with the blonde's forehead. "Sixty-Four!"

Naruto tumbled backwards before sticking his landing, sliding through the dirt about a meter before stopping.

"What!?" Neji gasped. "How can you still stand! I struck all sixty-four tenketsu!"

Naruto coughed and tried to flex his fingers. "Looks like you only hit the points that aren't covered by clothing. I'll admit, it's kinda difficult to move right now."

Neji and the other Hyuuga in the audience could see that only sixteen tenketsu were sealed by Neji's strikes, mostly in his hands and head.

"Seems I'm going to have to reveal the tricks up my sleeves," the blonde sighed. "Release!"

The seal in the back of his nagabujan flooded Naruto's chakra coils to their maximum capacity, forcefully opening his tenketsu and causing chakra smoke to billow out of his kimono, temporarily obscuring his form. Naruto reached back and grabbed the strap for the scroll, swinging it over his shoulder. It rapidly unfurled, forming a giant hoof that struck Neji's crossed forearms, knocking the older boy back.

"How do you like the Tetsu Kireji Koura?" He smirked. "Guess how I defended against your attack."

Neji stared at the twitching cloth, noting that he couldn't see chakra flowing through it. He could see a little bit of chakra flowing at the point where Naruto was holding the scroll though. He narrowed his eyes.

"I suppose I'll have to strike you in the head."

"You're assuming you can catch me."

Neji sped forward and to Naruto's left, trying to get at the boy's relatively unprotected side only to find his progress halted by twelve ribbons ending in kunai coming from Naruto's sleve.

Back on the Kages' Balcony, the Kazekage clapped softly. "Impressive technique that Uzumaki is using. Who taught it to him?"

"I know of some persons who could teach it to him," the Hokage stated.

"Not going to divulge their identities?"

"You have your puppeteers, Kazekage-dono. Don't be too greedy."

The Kazekage chuckled. "It's just so interesting though. Not sure how he'd stand up to my Gaara though."

Back on the floor, Neji was desperately trying to get past Naruto's defenses, deftly avoiding getting tangled in the ribbons or the scroll, but finding his advance halted at nearly every opportunity. He decided he had to use the Kaiten just to get close enough. The spinning chakra dome appeared for a brief instant, knocking and tearing all of the ribbons away and shredding the scroll. He used this opportunity to get in close to Naruto and stabbed the blonde through the eye with a kunai.

Only to find that it was a shadow clone. The boy burst into smoke leaving only the haori behind.

"Wha-" Neji began only to have the back of his head hit by the wooden post that the giant scroll had been wrapped around. He tumbled forwards to see that one of the shadow clones he had disregarded holding the torn end of the scroll. Even augmented with the Byakkugan, his vision was getting blurry.

"Have a concussion, eh Neji?" Naruto smirked. "I switched with a clone using Kawarimi no Jutsu when I expended that smoke. I'll admit, you're faster than I am, but you rely too much on your eyes." (Substitution no Jutsu)

"How dare you!? I had no grudge against you before this bu-"

"I have one against you!" the blonde shouted. "The way you treated Hinata in the preliminaries... the horrible mind games... and you attempted to murder her. You make me sick."

Neji took a step back to steady himself as his vision swam. "Do you not understand the cursed history of the Hyuuga?"

"Actually, I do." Naruto said, surprising Neji. "I'm aware of the seal on your forehead, that marks you as a slave to the Main Branch. I'm also aware of the circumstances revolving around the death of your father."

Neji grunted. "Then you understand why I hate them."

"The hate against the traditions and the elders of the Main Branch, sure. The hate against Hinata?" Naruto spat onto the ground in front of him. "Is unfathomable."

"Then you do not understand what it's like to have a seal determining your destiny being branded on you from a young age."

"Just because you have no evidence it doesn't mean that you should assume something," the blonde sneered. "I'll tell you about it later, but for now you should give up. I've outclassed you and out manouvered you."

"Fancy tricks and clones mean nothing if you don't have the -" Neji let out a sudden gasp as the haori on the ground in front of him wrapped around his torso, constricting his arms. More ribbons spilled from the sleeves, tangling his legs together. He suddenly became aware of a single thread that led away from the inner pockets of the haori, through the dust where he hadn't noticed it before, and into Naruto's glowing left hand. He tried expelling chakra from various tenketsu to tear his way out of the jacket, but the cloth and ribbons seemed stronger than before.

"Fancy tricks are everything in ninja combat," Naruto snorted. "Give up. You cannot escape."

Neji growled as Genma agreed and called the match.

00000

"Did you see that? He can manipulate his clothing at a distance using connected threads."

"I wonder if it's a special type of cloth that he can manipulate. He'd make for a great hunter-ninja with his ability to capture targets alive."

"And his opponent showed skills that he would not have learned normally. I don't know about you two, but I was impressed with him as well."

"He'll have to pass the psych eval. There seems to be too much anger in his heart."

00000

As the medical ninja forced Neji onto a stretcher, Naruto and his four remaining shadow clones retrieved as much fragments of fabric as they could find within a couple of seconds. All pieces were accounted for and Naruto put them in his pocket as he walked over towards the observation balcony he other genin contestants waited at.

00000

End chapter six.

Next Chapter: "Shino versus Kankuro!" "I give up!" "Okay then, Shikamaru versus Temari!" "... what a drag."

Author's Note

Author's Note:

Parts of this went in directions I hadn't intended.

For example, one of my fans requested a particular pairing for Naruto for this story. Sorry mang, but I don't think it's happening. The way Naruto's personality is changing in this version of the world forced me to pair him with Hinata. I may try my hand at putting that other girl with him, but I would like to keep it from becoming a harem!fic as many Naruto fics devolve into.

So, six months. Better than over a year. This particular chapter is longer to make up for it.

I know I'm retreading some of canon Naruto, but that's because I need to explain things for those fans of MLPFiM who haven't gotten into Naruto. And I'll retread some of MLPFiM canon because it's changed to suit this world better and/or to explain things for those fans of Naruto who haven't become bronies yet. Basically, I'm trying to turn all of you into broneeaboos. ;P

((No editing done for this chapter. I can’t get a hold of any of my beta-readers.))