A Not-So-Royal Las Pegasus Wedding

The guests talked and laughed as they filled their plates in gratitude for the free food. Once everybody had been seated, Starlight tapped her glass with a spoon. “Attention, everyone!”

All at once the restaurant hushed.

“I want to thank you all for being here to celebrate this wonderful occasion with Sunburst and me. Several years ago, before I met Twilight Sparkle–Yes, that Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria, I was the type who said she’d never get married, but here we are.”

Starlight put her hoof on Sunburst’s shoulder and smiled at him. He smiled back lovingly.

“Back in Las Pegasus where it all began four years ago. Before we dive into all this wonderful food, courtesy of Twilight–by the way, she paid for your rooms as well–I have a few ponies I’d like to extend a special thank you to, starting with you of course, Twilight. You saved my life back then, when you offered to be my mentor. You’ve stuck by me, faults and wrongdoings, and shown me how to really live. You turned my life around for the better. I can’t thank you enough for that and I can tell you straight from my heart, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be standing here right now, about to marry the love of my life.”

Twilight Sparkle rose from her seat and placed a hoof on Starlight’s shoulder. "You don't have to thank me, Starlight. It was my pleasure to be your mentor and guide you on your journey. You’ve come so far from who you were back then. I may have shown you the way, but it was up to you to put in the effort to change and better yourself. You both deserve all the love and happiness in the world, and I'm so proud of you."

The guests erupted into applause and cheering as Twilight hugged Starlight, then returned to her seat.

Starlight regarded Trixie at a nearby table and continued her speech. “I’d also like to thank Trixie, my mare of honor and the best friend any mare ever had. When I first came to Ponyville I didn’t think I’d ever find somepony willing to give me a chance, but then I met you, and you showed me what true friendship really is. So thank you, my great and powerful friend.”

Trixie’s eyes glittered, prompting her to grab her napkin. “You’re welcome, my amazing and mighty bestest friend ever.” She dabbed her eyes and sniffed. “Trixie’s not crying. It’s the onions in this green bean casserole.”

The guests chuckled and Sunset offered Trixie a tissue, which she gratefully accepted.

“Don’t forget about what she and Maud did that night we shared our first kiss,” Sunburst said.

Starlight regarded the bridesmare’s table with a smile. “You’re right, Sunburst. I guess I should also thank Trixie and Maud for those stunts they pulled when we were in Las Pegasus four years ago. Their meddling helped give Sunburst and I the push we needed that day. Having said that, Trix, I’m still not sorry I made you go on the High Horse at Corrals of Fun with me.”

Maud nodded a silent acknowledgement of Starlight’s gratitude, but the memory of free-falling from two hundred feet in the air made Trixie facehoof. “Oh, you had to bring that up!”

The room laughed and Starlight held up a hoof to silence them. “I’d also like to thank everyone else who came for this. As I look around this room, I know that I have so many special friends. Some of them have come from the far corners of Equestria just to see this happen. I appreciate every one of you.”

“We love you!” Pinkie shouted.

The restaurant burst into applause and Sunburst waited until it died down to take the floor. He fiddled with his glasses as he glanced about the room, then took a deep breath, sighed and spoke. “Um, well, I’m not sure I have much I can add to that other than a special thank you to my eclectic group of groomscolts. Big Mac, Shining Armor and Discord, the Lord of Chaos himself. And, of course, Spike: my best colt… er, best dragon.

“One of the joys of being with Starlight has been all the new friendships I’ve made, and you’ve stood out as best. You were the one who practically forced us to reunite that day in the Crystal Empire. Without you, Starlight and I might never have found each other again. By the way, I’m still waiting for you to give me back my Steelhoof the Barbarian #32!”

“You’ll get it back once you give me back my Power Ponies Special Issue #25.”

Sunburst smiled and turned to Starlight. "But most of all, I want to thank you, Starlight. You’ve brought so much happiness into my life, and I can’t imagine what my world would be like without you. You’ve accepted me for who I am, flaws and all, and I promise to do the same for you, now and forever. I love you, my amazing mare."

Starlight's eyes filled with tears as she looked at Sunburst. She could feel the love radiating from him, and she felt it in her heart too. She walked up to him and nuzzled his cheek. "I love you too, my wonderful stallion," she whispered.

The crowd erupted into applause, cheering and "awww's", as Sunburst and Starlight shared a kiss. The wedding photographer captured the moment in a burst of light.

Starlight lost herself in Sunburst for a few moments, savoring the look of love in his eyes. Then she cleared her throat and regarded the onlookers. "Okay, enough of the mush. Let’s dig in! There's plenty of food for everypony!"

As everyone began eating, Flamin' Yawn emerged from the kitchen, cleared his throat and walked up to the front of the room. "Good evening, everypony," he began. "I hope you're all enjoying the food we've prepared for you tonight."

He glanced around the room, cupping his front hooves together. "Now, as some of you may know, I don't tolerate any nonsense in my kitchen, and I can assure you that my team has worked tirelessly to make sure that every dish tonight is nothing short of perfection."

He paused, letting his words sink in before continuing. "But tonight is not just about the food, it’s about the celebration of love between two wonderful ponies. It’s always an honor and a pleasure for us at Tartarus’ Kitchen to be a part of such blissful occasions. So let's raise a glass to Sunburst and Starlight and wish them a lifetime of happiness together."

He held up his own glass, and the room followed suit. "Cheers to the happy couple!" he exclaimed, taking a sip.

“Cheers!” The entire room shouted.

With that, Flamin' Yawn stepped back and resumed his position in the kitchen, watching as the guests enjoyed their meals.

Teary-eyed, Starlight wrapped a foreleg around Sunburst and rubbed her cheek against his. “I didn’t expect that. I thought they’d just bring out the food and leave us be, but Flamin’ Yawn himself toasted us.”

“Did you like that?” Sunburst asked.

“It was perfect.”

As the dinner continued, the restaurant filled with the joyful atmosphere of celebration, clinking glasses and hearty laughter. Soon the dessert table was brought out, lined with cookies, pudding, pies, cupcakes, ice cream and brownies. Two special cupcakes, one with lavender frosting and a candy mold of a bride, and the other with orange frosting and a groom, were brought out to Starlight and Sunburst’s table.

“Wow!” Starlight smiled with excitement as she gazed at her cupcake. “Tartarus’ Kitchen really goes all out, don’t they?”

“They certainly exceeded my expectations,” Sunburst said.

The couple interlocked their legs and shared a sweet smile before simultaneously taking a bite. Starlight pressed a kiss to Sunburst’s lips and dabbed his nose with her cupcake, leaving behind a blotch of purple frosting on his snout.

“Hey!” Sunburst’s protest was accompanied by a swift adjustment of his glasses before wiping the frosting away and licking it off of his hoof.

“You two are adorable,” Twilight said.

A green puff of flame emerged from the groomscolt’s table. A moment later, Spike approached Twilight with a scroll in his claw. “Letter for you, Your Highness.”

Twilight gave Spike a disapproving look and took the scroll, her eyes moving as she read it. She then turned to Starlight with an apology on her face. “I have to step out for a moment, Starlight. Apparently the Manehatten city council is having a major spat of some sort. I’ll be right back.”

Starlight offered an understanding smile. “Well, you are the princess! Don’t worry about it. We’ll still be here when you get back.”

With a purple flash, Twilight vanished from the dining room.

Despite Twilight’s absence, Starlight glanced around the room, taking in the smiling faces of their friends and family. She wanted to savor that atmosphere of love forever, but sudden shouting broke the peacefulness of the restaurant.

“My mouth! My mouth is on fire!”

In the back of the dining room, Gallus leapt to his feet and sprinted towards the refreshment table with a yelp of pain, spewing flames from his mouth as he crossed the table where Sunburst’s relatives sat, setting the tablecloth ablaze. Sunburst’s aunt, uncle and cousins screamed as they scrambled away.

“Fire!” Pinkie Pie shouted. She grabbed one of the 10-gallon water jugs from the refreshment table, unscrewed the lid and heaved its contents on the burning table, completely soaking Sunburst’s aunt with the ice-cold water.

Gallus kept running, knocking over another table where the residents of Our Town were sitting, spilling hot coffee on Double Diamond’s lap and splashing Night Glider with her own soup. Double Diamond yelped in pain as he shoved himself away from the table and collided with a nearby bus pony, whose plates of half-eaten food flew through the air. One of them nailed Yona square in the face, while another struck the bridesmare’s table, splattering all of them with mashed potatoes and cold gravy.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack yelled.

Yona smiled and wiped her face clean. “Who throws food at Yak? Is it time for traditional wedding food fight?!”

“No! Stop!” Starlight shouted, holding a foreleg out to emphasize.

“WE MUST HAVE TRADITIONAL WEDDING FOOD FIGHT!” Yona bellowed at the top of her lungs before launching her plate of pie towards the Ponyville crew table where it hit Rainbow Dash in the back of the head.

Rainbow cringed, touched the back of her head and saw pie filling on her hoof. She shot up in the air, still holding her tray of pudding. “Alright, you wanna have a food fight? Let’s have a food fight!” Rainbow drew back her foreleg and lobbed the pudding tray at Yona.

In mere moments food, plates and cups criss-crossed through the air while Gallus chugged the remaining water cooler straight from the tap. Some of the grown mares wept as ponies scattered clear of the crossfire, crashing into and tripping over each other. Fluttershy squeaked in terror and darted out of the restaurant, leaving the chaos behind her.

Pinkie Pie, never one to miss out on fun, ducked under a flying bowl of spaghetti and came up with her own tray of cupcakes. “Food fight!” she screamed with a jubilant smile, hurling the cupcakes at everypony in sight.

Big Macintosh leapt up and intercepted a flying bowl of coleslaw homing in on Sugar Belle. It struck him right on the nose, leaving his face covered in the creamy mess.

“What the hay is going on out here?!” Flamin’ Yawn yelled as he stuck his head out the kitchen door. “Hey, absolutely not! Not in my flipping restaurant!” A plate of fried rice struck the wall next to him and he retreated back into the kitchen. Not even his infamously loud voice penetrated the chaos as the food fight continued.

“You call this having everything under control?!” Stellar Flare barked as she dodged an airborne hot potato. “Take charge for once in your life, Sunburst!”

“What do you want me to do about it?!”

“Ugh, nevermind. I’LL do it!”

Sunburst leaned close to Starlight. “Cover your ears. She’s about to use her ‘angry mom’ voice.”

“Everypony, stop this at once! You should all be ashamed of-”

Stellar Flare never finished, as a whole cherry pie struck her square in the face, leaving it a mess of crumbs and pie filling as she dropped to her knees with a sob. “Oh! And I had just taken a bath, too!”

“This is so uncouth!” Rarity yelled as she blasted away a slice of chocolate cake before it could touch her. An instant later, a bowl of salad landed on her head like a vegetable-laden hat, disheveling her mane into mess of greens and dressing. She shook the bowl off, her face scrunched in a scowl. “Oh! It. Is. On!” Rarity grabbed her plate of chocolate mousse and launched it in the direction the salad bowl came from.

Discord materialized beside Starlight and Sunburst, munching on a bag of popcorn as he watched Scootaloo dump the punch bowl over Applebloom’s head.

“Ah, the old punch shower, classic! This is what I call a wedding! Quite a display of chaos, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Discord, do something!” Sunburst yelled as Applebloom retaliated by squirting their table’s bottle of mustard in Scootaloo’s face.

“Now why would I do that? This is far too entertaining! Want some?” Discord held his bag of popcorn out to Starlight, and she promptly swatted it out of his claw as Sunburst knelt down to console his mom.

“Is this your handiwork?” Starlight demanded.

Discord rolled his eyes – literally this time – and crossed his arms against his chest as his peepers settled back in place. "Oh, how typical! Chaos unfurls its flamboyant wings, and who gets the blame? Innocent little moi, naturally. And might I add, your steadfast lack of trust in me has been glaringly evident throughout the entire evening. I have feelings, too, and you’ve hurt them. If I'm truly as horrid as you seem to believe, perhaps I should just step back and let this delightful mayhem run its course.”

Starlight facehoofed. “Ugh, fine! I’m sorry!”

Discord studied her for a moment, then shrugged. “I suppose that’ll do for now. But I’ll expect a better apology later.”

Discord snapped his fingers and everything in the restaurant from the creatures to the food froze in mid-motion, as if time itself had stopped, painting a delightful tapestry of mayhem.

“Oh, what a splendid photo opportunity!” Discord trilled with glee. He strolled over to Firelight and removed the camera from his shoulders. “Pardon me, sir. Mind if I borrow this for just a moment?”

Clicking the camera, Discord captured snapshots of the suspended chaos from different angles. He found Trixie, sitting at the bridesmares table with a scoop of vanilla ice cream hitting her in the face, the ricocheting splatter still frozen in mid-motion. Discord cackled with amusement as he took several closeup shots. Then, with a mischievous glint in his eye, he wrapped a friendly arm around Firelight—the expression of alarm stuck on his face—and aimed the camera at the two of them.

“Honestly, would it have killed you to smile for the photo?” Discord quipped as the instant film emerged from the camera. He leaned his arm on Firelight, showing him the picture they had just taken. “Just look at you. Your daughter is about to be married, and this is how you react? Our dear Starlight will be crushed.”

Discord returned the camera to Firelight and took a few more moments to savor the scene and the expressions on the creatures’ faces: Anger, fear, shock, excitement and confusion. Satisfied, he snapped his fingers and all of the airborne food dropped straight to the ground.

***

All at once the restaurant hushed. Starlight found herself gripped in a sudden peculiar haze and rubbed her eyes, finding everyone else equally as disoriented. Sunburst took off his glasses and readjusted them.

“What did you do, Discord?” Sunburst asked. “Everything just came to a complete halt.”

“Why, I stopped all the chaos, just as you asked me to.”

Starlight glanced around and noticed Discord carrying several pieces of paper that hadn’t been in his claw and only a moment ago. “Where’d those come from?”

“Oh these? Just a little hobby I’ve picked up.”

"Hobby?" Starlight arched her eyebrow. She stepped forward to examine the papers more closely, finding snapshots of the food fight and unexpected selfies of Discord and her dad.

Firelight peered over Starlight’s shoulder to look at the photos. “What the? Discord! These instant film sheets are expensive! Don’t waste them.”

“How and when did you-” Starlight pondered out loud. A moment later it dawned on her. “Discord, did you stop time?!”

Discord scoffed. "Oh, please. Unlike certain individuals in our esteemed gathering, tampering with the delicate fabric of time is beneath me. I simply placed this room in a state of suspended animation, a little hiccup in the temporal flow, if you will. Time continued its steady march forward, uninterrupted.”

Everyone looked around at the horrific mess laid out across the dining room, but they shied their eyes away from each other in shame.

“Who’s responsible for this?!” Starlight yelled. None dared meet her eyes and the anger in her belly grew. “Well?! Who started the fire?!”

“She tried to burn my mouth off!” Gallus yelled, pointing at someone. As Starlight looked around to see who, Smolder eased her arm into the air.

Starlight marched across the room to the students’ table, keeping a death glare locked onto Smolder. “What. Did you. Do?!”

Smolder pointed at a plate on the table, indicating the half-eaten pepper in the remains of a sandwich.

“A dragon pepper?!” Starlight shouted. The other students backed away from her rage.

“It was an accident, okay?” Smolder said. “I didn’t mean for all this to happen. It was just a prank. I didn’t think he’d actually start spitting fire.”

“Well,” Starlight huffed, the veins in her neck bulging, her voice growing louder and angrier as she spoke, “let me give you some life advice, Smolder. If you’re going to prank someone with the hottest pepper in the world, save it for something a little less important than somepony’s wedding rehearsal!”

Smolder shrugged. “We dragons eat those things like candy.”

“Does Gallus look like a dragon to you?!”

Sunburst stepped up to them and rubbed Starlight’s back in what she knew was an effort to calm her down. “You know, Smolder, I think an apology would go a long way here.”

“Apologize?” Smolder crossed her arms and scoffed. “Dragons don’t say ‘I’m sorry’.”

Starlight growled and pressed her nose against Smolder’s, glaring into the dragon’s blue eyes.

Smolder threw her arms up in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry!”

“That’s not good enough,” Starlight said.

Looking around, Smolder wilted under the realization that the entire room was staring daggers at her and that this entire mess was, indeed, her fault. “Gallus, I seriously didn’t know your mouth would catch fire if you ate that pepper. I thought it was just a harmless prank.” Smolder turned to Starlight and Sunburst, “and if I’d known it would’ve caused all of this, I wouldn’t have done it. I’m really, really sorry and I’ll never do it again.”

“Very good,” Starlight said. She then turned to Yona. “And you! What in Equestria made you think that starting a food fight at a wedding rehearsal was a good idea?!”

“Yona sorry, too,” the Yak said, fidgeting with her hoof. “Yona got excited. Wanted to do Yak tradition.”

“Yak traditions are for Yak weddings, not pony weddings!”

“Well, you’ve certainly made this rehearsal dinner… unforgettable,” Sunburst said, looking around at all the food and tableware strewn about the dining room. A chunk of cake, which had been stuck to the ceiling by its frosting, fell on top of Sunburst’s head.

Almost everypony wore battle scars from the food fight: Applebloom soaked with punch, Stellar Flare’s face a crimson mask of cherry pie filling, Rainbow Dash with pudding on the back of her head and the bridesmares covered in mashed potatoes and gravy.

Sighing, Starlight shook her head. “Okay, everypony, go back to your rooms and get cleaned up. We’ll meet back in the chapel in one hour for the rehearsal.”

All the creatures left the restaurant one by one, their heads hanging in either embarrassment, defeat or guilt until only Starlight and Sunburst remained.

“Aren’t we missing somepony?” Sunburst asked.

As if on cue, Twilight warped back into the restaurant in a flash of magic. “I’m sorry about that, Starlight. Royal obligations.” Twilight looked around the dining room, a look of shock on her face. “What in Equestria happened here?! I was only gone for ten minutes!”

Starlight rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “It’s a long story.”

"Tell me all about it while we walk to the chapel. Tartarus' Kitchen has their work cut out for them cleaning up this mess!"

"Excuse me, your Highness?" Flamin' Yawn asked. "I know you're the princess, but if you want to have another reservation in my restaurant, I'll be expecting some sort of compensation."

Twilight sighed, nodding understandingly. “You’re right, Flamin’ Yawn. This is unacceptable. As compensation, how would you like to cater for this year’s Grand Galloping Gala?”

Flamin’ Yawn’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? The Grand Galloping Gala?”

Twilight smiled warmly. “Absolutely. Your culinary skills deserve to be showcased at such a prestigious event. And, of course, we will cover all the costs for cleaning up this mess and any additional expenses.”

Flamin’ Yawn’s rubbed his chin in thought. “Well, that’s... very generous of you, Princess. I suppose we can manage that.”

“Thank you, Flamin’ Yawn,” Twilight said, extending a hoof. “I’ll look forward to seeing what delicacies you’ll have to offer.”

Flamin’ Yawn shook her hoof, a small smile forming on his face. “Deal.”

“Nice work, Twilight! Very diplomatic,” Sunburst said as Twilight turned to them.

Twilight shrugged. “I learned a lot from Celestia.”

Starlight turned for the door, heaving a sigh. “Well, guess we should go get ready for the rehearsal.”

As they headed out of the restaurant, Starlight heard one last tirade from Flamin’ Yawn.

“Well, what am I paying you lot for? Don’t just stand around; get out there and fix this flipping mess! I want that floor so clean, even I would eat off of it, understood?!”

“Yes, Chef!”