“I’m not gonna tell you where it is and that’s not gonna change!”
“Oh my, listen! It’s Rainbow Dash!”
“Say what now?”
“Rainbow! Look, in there! Come on...”
“Hey! What are you ponies doing in here? Get out before I do something I may regret!”
“Reckon we’ll stay. That’s our friend. You okay, Dash?”
“Oh, I’m fantastic. Just chillaxing here. The way you’d be if you’d been shoved in this stupid stall with idiots like him watching you 24/7 and trying to find new ways to break you.”
“Break… you? Oh no, I’m so sorry we weren’t quicker finding you, but, well… um.”
“If y’all could wait a spell till we’re actually finished up here, that’d be just peachy. Now you listen to me, Mister Henchpony or whatever your name is. RD here is our friend and we’re here to take her home. We want her out of there. Now. And we ain’t in the mood for messin’ around.”
“I’m not here to give you what you want. I’m here to make sure this one stays exactly where she’s been put until we’ve finished with her. And no, before you say it, I’m not interested in turning over a new leaf and giving up all of this for the sake of friendship. I have that where I am, I’m good at what I do, and you know what? I love this job. Love it.”
“Givin’ up all of what, exactly? What’s it all gonna get you, huh? Why’re you carryin’ on like this?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The satisfaction of a job well done. A sack of bits. Promotion one day, maybe. And who knows, when we’re done maybe I can get this lovely young mare out of there and we can spend some quality time togeth—aarrrgghh!”
“You just try it and see what happens to your lovely young face, bud—wait, what just happened?”
“Oh dear, that wasn’t a very good shot, I’m sorry.”
“Aarrrgghh!”
“Um… I’m sorry for doing that, really, but you were threatening to hurt my friend.”
“You… could have… warned… me you had a… freaking crossbow!”
“Oh no, I’d never do a thing like that. It wouldn’t have been very nice. After all, I didn’t know before then that I was going to need to shoot it.”
“Nice?! Now wait one cotton-pickin’ minute! Why in the hay are you apologisin’ to this here lowlife? He’s lucky he’s only headin’ for the jail infirmary, ‘stead of bein’ six feet under!”
“Applejack, please listen to me. Threatening is what bad ponies do. I don’t want to be like them. A clean arrow is much kinder… though, um, I didn’t do very well.”
“You… were aiming… to just… ahhh, Luna’s flank… give me a little scare… then?”
“Oh no. I was trying to kill you. I usually do better, I’m sorry.”
“Usually?”
“Oh yes. It’s a little embarrassing, really.”
“Okaaay…how ‘bout we stop with the pleasantries, ‘Shy. Time’s a-wastin’… you want me to finish him now, I’m guessin’? Buck his bones into splinters and dust so even Tartarus won’t want him?”
“Get me outta this stupid contraption and I’ll kick his rump so hard he’ll still be rising when he passes Cloudsdale!”
“Are… you going to… leave me here?”
“You know what, that’s a great idea! Get me outta this thing and we can leave him in it instead!”
“No, Rainbow. He can’t hurt you now, so it would be cruel to do that. And no, Applejack, we won’t do that either. Thank you.I’ll take a look at that wound and then we’ll get him to Canterlot and let the Royal Guards take over. They’ll know what to do with him.”
“Reckon I know what we should do with him… but I’ll go along with you if it makes you feel better, I guess. Still think we’re lettin’ him off mighty lightly, though.”
“Yeah, me too!”
“Rainbow…”
“Okay, okay, Flutters. But I sure hope you know what you’re doing. Now help me outta this thing so I can get back to being awesomeness on stilts!”
* * *
“Mornin’ Flutters. You heard what happened to that buckin’ henchpony?”
“Language, please, Applejack – I don’t want the little ones to pick up any bad habits. But oh… no, I haven’t. What did happen?”
“He’s wound up dead, or so I hear. Couple days ago. Didn’t wait to find out how, in truth I don’t rightly care. Equestria’s a better place for it, but I still dearly wish he’d’ve waited till he was in a palace cell where he belongs. That good-for-nothin’ yellow-belly, didn’t even have the guts to stand up and face other ponies across a courtroom. Been a coward since we first ran into him, guess he’ll still be a coward now in the Great Beyond.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that… I don’t think he was a coward, exactly. Actually I thought he was quite brave, really.”
“Brave? What in the name of haystacks are you jabberin’ about, girl? That villain was bad news, as bad as they come. Didn’t you hear what he said, what he was fixin’ to do to Dash if he’d had his druthers?”
“Oh, of course I did. Do you think I’m a silly old fool who forgets something like that in five minutes?”
“Hey come on now, don’t put words into my mouth… ‘course I don’t, but—”
“But you know, Applejack, brave isn’t the same thing as good.”
“...Yeah. Yeah, I guess it ain’t. Sorry. Mind, somethin’ else that’s been on my mind. How’d you learn how to shoot one of them contraptions anyway? I ain’t never seen you even holdin’ one before.”
“Oh… sometimes I need to go into the Everfree Forest to find special herbs for my little animal friends, and, well, there are some dangerous creatures in there. I don’t have magic and sometimes it’s hard to fly in the thicker places. Zecora told me I’d need to be able to defend myself better.”
“With a crossbow?”
“Yes. And you needn’t look at me like that. Zecora put a little enchantment on my bow to make it easier for me to draw. My wings are strong enough now, yes.”
“But what if you miss?”
“Oh, I don’t miss. Well… not usually. I am an animal caretaker, you know. If I have to, um, help a creature along, even if it’s in the Everfree Forest, I do it as quickly and cleanly and kindly as I can. It’s a part of who I am. That’s why I was so upset the other day, because I didn’t get that right.”
“Well I’ll be… tell you what, I’ve known you however many years now and you still never fail to amaze me. Guess I’d better ask you to teach me sometime!”
“I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait your turn, Applejack. I have somepony else to teach first, and here she is at the door now…”
“About time! Thought I’d be knocking all day! Now come on, let’s stop messing about and get out there. I wanna do some crossing and bowing!”
“Oh… oh dear. Waiting your turn may take a while.”
Author's Note
“So hope like hell your captor is an evil mare. A good mare will kill you with hardly a word.” -- Filly Pratchett, Mares at Hooves
