Not as Scary as You Think
FEAR
I’m stuck here in Canterlot. I am sitting on my rump looking up at Princess Celestia herself...and to put it bluntly, I am scared, VERY scared. But this isn’t the kind of fear you feel when you did something wrong like break a window. This is Legitimate fear. I am literally shaking in my boots, and fiber of my being is screaming: “RUN RUN RUN!”. But I can’t. I am rooted to this spot in awe, because I am staring at a real, live breathing pony, from a TV show. So many hours spent reading fanfiction and just lazing around watching the show, and now I am here.
Now let me explain my thoughts here. I don’t like Celestia. She scares me, as you may have noticed. But as to why I can’t tell, I suppose that the fact I spend countless hours on the internet reading horror fan fiction starring the pony that is standing in front of me doesn’t really help. Does it.
Normally in this type of confrontational situation I would be reacting a lot more calmly, but now I just can’t fathom what’s going on. I mean honestly how many times, do you go to bed after reading a story, have a night terror about a fictional character, and then wake up sitting on your butt right in front of them.
Now my fear of Celestia isn’t something new I have been reading unusually scary stories for a while. (I like the thrill they give me) However things got out of control with the night terrors. They are there every night. At first they were subtle, but as time went on they got worse. I swear I have had some terrible ones.
Let me describe one for you. I am strapped to an operating table standing over to my side is Celestia. Floating next to her is a scalpel, slowly she lowers the thing down and... well you get the picture. I could describe that entire thing for you but I don’t feel that is a great idea.
Coming back to now I think hard. In the dream I had we had started in the Everfree I had just landed there after being “sucked in”. Well we aren't in the Everfree so that definitely relieves me a bit but, there is still the big problem: Celestia. She’s here. She’s real. She’s in front of me.
I gulp and slowly look up expecting the worst; a creepy smile, dark magenta eye full of dark curiosity and a dark white almost steel gray coat. What I see somehow makes me feel even more afraid. I see Celestia, but she has a look of disappointment on her face, she doesn't seem “Dark and evil” though, rather the look of a caring ruler who radiates perfection. But that just serves to make me more afraid because she is disappointed in me. In my dreams when Celestia is disappointed, she does her best to “remove” whatever is so disappointing her.
As for how my dreams always end... well, I’ll save you your lunch by putting it like this: The rest of the dreams are somewhat reminiscent of a fan fiction involving our favorite blue pegasus, a pink party pony and some cupcakes.
With that being said, you can see just how I am feeling about now, with the main star of my not so sweet dreams standing right in front of me. I take a steadying breath, and count to ten in my head. When I finally have come back to my senses I tear my eyes away from her face and quickly look at the her hooves. Maybe I’ll be a bit calmer if I can’t see her expression. Unfortunately for me my moment of “peace” is shattered by her doing one thing. Taking a step forward.
My sanity snaps, and I begin doing everything I can to get away from her. Pushing myself back with my hands I shout
“NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!”
As I continue to push away from what I think is my impending, painful doom, I feel my back press up against a cold stone wall. Looking up I see one of monumental towers of the royal palace. I drag my vision down to Celestia’s face. I fill with confusion and fear as I see her small smile. She lowers her head down so it’s level with mine.
And nuzzles me?
Normally by this time I would be strapped down and be halfway cut into, for her “research”. So why is Celestia nuzzling me? Did I eat something before I went to sleep? No I can’t be asleep, I woke up like this. This is real. I think.
Then she spoke, her voice was soft like velvet caring. Not like the dreams
“Why are you afraid my little human?”
More confusion I can’t think straight. In my stupefied state I stare at her. I’m not being “researched” or “fixed” I’m here Celestia is talking to me. I don’t know what to say so I say the first thing I can think of.
“What? But how... I’m not dead?”
Slowly I watch as she chuckles, then full bursts out laughing. The wondrous sound is nothing like in the dreams; cold and evil; instead It rings like morning bells, full of life. As she laughs I slowly feel my self calming down, I reassure myself that I am fine, alive. When her laughter subsides she looks down at me.
“Young human, I am disappointed by your judgement of me, and the fact that you based it on silly stories and simple dreams. You thought I could hurt you even though you knew me as nothing as a dream and in reality, I never meant you any harm.”
As she said this she sat down next to me, and slowly, almost as if not to startle me she laid her head in my lap. I am dumbstruck at the turn of events. I look down into one of her bright magenta eyes, and watch as it glows and bends. Like the sun, I think to myself.
“I knew you harbored a fear for me, however I had never known it to be so great, that it would disturb somthing like my younger sister’s thoughts. Tell me where this fear comes from.”
Still processing what is going on I only take in her first few words.
“Thoughts?”
Her eye blinks in confusion, and then a moment later realization dawned on her.
“Yes, thoughts, or rather dreams, Luna said she felt a great disturbance in the dreamscape apparently your “Night Terrors”. When Lulu told me about them I went ahead and prepared the spell to bring you here.”
I stared dumbstruck. I had heard everything, now that the deer in the headlights effect had worn off. I had no Idea what to do.
“Where does your fear of me come from?” again she asked
Shaking my head I attempted to answer
“I-It... well... it comes from...”
I trail off. Where did it come from? Why as I scared of her? Look at her, she’s sitting next to me with her head in my lap. She is nothing like the fanfiction, or my dreams for that matter, portrayed her. She is the exact opposite, her coat radiates with light, her eyes are bright and happy, they twinkle like a caring mother’s would. She is happy and caring. She Doesn’t want to hurt me. She’s my Friend.
I sigh, as my fears collapse. As they do I lean back against the wall and close my eyes
“I don’t know, I’m just confused right now.”
“That’s okay”
I feel the weight leave my lap, opening an eye out of curiosity I see Celestia nuzzle my neck and ever so slowly she raises her head so it is just next to my face and give me a quick peck on the cheek. The skin her lips touch tingles. I feel tears well up in my eyes. How could I fear her?
I wrap my arms around her and choke up. I hadn't even actually met her and I had made up all these fears. I never considered what the real Celestia would be like after the dreams started, and because of this we both suffered. I had to put up with irrational fears and she had to deal with a guilty conscience for no reason. I am so angry at myself for being this stupid and unthoughtful and there is nothing I can do to make up for it but apologize for my stupidity. I am a bit mad I had to go through this but I am full of self loathing because I put the princess through this.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out “I’m so, so sorry”
I hear her wondrous laughter again.
“It’s ok, every-”
“I made up fears, I thought you could hurt me when you're supposed to be fake and I judged you before I got to meet you. How could I be so dense?”
Pulling away the goddess looked at me critically.
“Young human, you thought I was but a legend. you never expected to meet me. But I am flattered all the same”
I looked down at my lap, laughing and crying at the same time. As we joke and talk sitting there my tears subside. As we talked and learned of each other I wondered: Did she really bring me here just to put my fears to rest? Looking at her again I voiced my question. Celestia observed the sun high up in the afternoon day and chuckled her beautiful velvet like voice again.
“What other reason would I have my friend? You were afraid of me and I was lonely.”
This time it was my turn to look critically, “You, the sun goddess. The one who can get anything by clapping her hooves, Lonely?”
“Yes, it’s kind of hard to talk with somepony when the only two pony who talks to me as an equal, resorts to the ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE when making a simple point.”
I rubbed my ears and whimpered at the sheer volume of her statement.
Her eyes found their way back to mine. She smiled at me, and ever so slowly her infectious happiness found it’s way onto my face.
I smiled back.
Putting one arm around her neck, just above her withers I gave a happy sigh and returned Celestia’s earlier kiss. As I looked at her I became curious. What was she like before? What was Celestia’s life like, now? And why was I so afraid of someone as great as her?
The rest of that week was spent lazing about, talking, telling stories about their childhood, and best of all poking fun at Luna, who at this point was practically worked to the bone making up court duties and other such things for Celestia who was ignoring most of the work thrown her way; (Other than raising and lowering the sun) thanks to a certain human.
However all my time wasn’t spent fooling around with Celestia, one thing she made sure I did was write a friendship report. I’m not joking she even gave me a rubric for how she would grade it.
I had three days to do it and I think it came out well, bad to put it simply. Let me summarize it: If I learned one thing that wonderful, wonderful week it was that I should never be afraid of somepony as indescribable as Celestia. I honestly don’t think she was satisfied (after all she gave me a B-) but she let it slide so we could get back to our shenanigans.
I had the best time of my life there but I knew I had to leave. My family still needed me, my parents are old and frail, and my kids young and naive. If I didn’t go back everything could collapse.
As I walked with my best friend to the middle of the courtyard, I looked her in the eye and smiled.
“Thank you, Celestia.”
I didn’t quite know how to say how I felt. I had so much raging through me. I was so happy I had made up with myself and was no longer afraid of this kind caring pony. But I was so sad I had to leave my new best friend. I am so disappointed I can’t convey this all in those three words.
But she knew.
“You could stay, you know.”
She whispered it, she knew I couldn’t but she asked just to make sure to see if my departure was real. More emotions more unrest.
“No. I can’t leave my family, just like you can’t abandon Equestria.”
“You won’t be able to come back.”
“I’ll find a way.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, letting out a choked sob she looked up at me and sighed, looking back I smiled I couldn’t cry anymore, not when I was with her, Celestia can only make me smile.
“Do you still fear me, my little human?” She asked with a shaky voice. It was a real question, and I must admit a insane one. I had just spent a week with her, he had played worked laughed cried sung danced. Everything two friends could do together in a lifetime. And we had done it all in a week. Did I still fear her? No I loved her.
I chuckled and hugged her, we stood for what seemed like hours but in reality was only minutes, saying nothing, communicating through only touch. As we broke apart her horn glowed. Slowly she levitated her necklace of gold into my hand, it shined like the sun.
“Keep it, til you come back, if you do.”
Looking up I nodded as the wind began to pick up and the spell took effect.
“Celestia!” I yelled over the howling winds her magic crafted. “I’ll find a way to come back, I swear it!”
“Pinkie swear!” She called.
“I cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye! I swear I’ll come back!”
“I’ll always be waiting for you!” Celestia yelled back.
A bright flash blinded me and a deafening BOOM sounded the activation of the spell.
With a jerk I awoke in my bed, staring up at my popcorn ceiling, the morning sun beating down on me. Grabbing my phone I look at the date...one day after I went to sleep.
How was this possible I had been away for a week, but only 8 hours had passed here?
Was it all a dream?
I sigh and push my self up with my left hand, being careful not to wake my wife. Slowly I go to lift my right hand but its heavier for some reason, as if I am holding something. There clutched in it is a large necklace of gold.
The necklace I had promised to return.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's note:
This Fan Fiction is inspired by so many things that I can't list them here.
As you may have noticed from the writing style I am some what new to this.
Any mistake that you see, feel free to point them out.
Thanks
-Corvo
