It's more art than science
“Announcing the arrival of Princess Zaftig, daughter of Zeze, King of Zebwatini. Accompanying her is her interpreter, Rashid Stone, of the Germane University of International Studies.”
“Oh Ancestors, that’s her. That’s really her isn’t it? Princess Luna Selene herself! She looks just like the murals! Even the ancient ones! I-I don’t know if I can do this, Mister Stone! She’s looking right at me and she’s so gorgeous and I didn’t floss and I should have—”
“Hush. Do not be muttering in these halls. Just because she does not understand Zebrican does not mean she cannot listen you. All shall be well. That is why the king hired my services, at greatly expense, to ensure even if you do dishonor yourself, your mistakes I shall speak surely to daub over.”
“Well I’m glad one of us is confident.”
“Of course. No one else could have be learning Equestrian and Zebrican in one moon-cycle.”
“Princess Zaftig. Interpreter Stone. On behalf of my sister and Equestria as a whole, I welcome you to Canterlot.”
“She, ah, welcomes you.”
“Right. Okay. I practised this. Tell her, ‘I am very pleased to be here. May the guidance of the Ancestors be with us and light the path forward that we may walk it together in friendship’.”
“Understood. Ahem. Princezz Zaftig iz happy to be here.”
“That seemed short.”
“It is a dense language.”
“And We are happy to have you. The world changes quickly these days, and it has been too long since our nations have broken bread together. Not since before my… absence. I hope this will be the start of a most fruitful union.”
“She is… inviting you to lunch, yes. And…”
“And?”
“Nothing. I misheard.”
“Tell her, ‘A meal sounds delightful. I long to taste your nation’s fare. Once our business is done and the alliance formed, I would be happy to join you at the table’.”
“Princezz Zaftig agrees. She desires to zample your fair nation. After zee job is over and zee union is made, she vill be happy to be vith you in zee stable.”
“In the sta-? That’s… quite forward of you.”
“Why is she blushing? What did you say?”
“Only what you said.”
“Ahem. But, as you so astutely put it, business first, pleasantries second.”
“She agrees with you and wants pleasure after business.”
“She wants… pleasure?”
“Pay it no mind. A local saying, maybe. Loses something in translation.”
“I have received your treaty proposal via your father’s courier, and I must say that some of these ideas have certainly aroused my interest.”
“Your father’s… courtesan?... sent her a… no, that can’t be right. She wouldn’t say that.”
“The color commentary is not appreciated. Just tell me what she said.”
“Is something the matter?”
“No, no. Just… einen moment, pleaze. Context is much important. Did your father give you any special instructions? Something I was not told?”
“No? My only mission here is to secure a lasting alliance between our kingdoms.”
“A lasting… ah! So it’s like that, then. I comprehend. Zebrican lacks a direct same-word, but she said she received your marriage-intent-question and is very aroused by it.”
“What?! But I never— I couldn’t— I-Impossible! You must have misheard her. A-And even then, she’s so far out of my league. Tell her I’m very flattered but merely see her as a figure of respect and comradeship.”
“Of course. Ze Princezz merely wants to be very flattened by your respectable figure, as a friendship.”
“Is that… an idiom? Or mayhaps some Zebrican custom? I know the Prench like to greet with a kiss but this seems a few steps beyond.”
“Why is she making that face? Stone, what the abyss are you saying?!”
“What needs to be said. I know what I am doing.”
“...I’m not so certain you do.”
“It’d be easier if you stopped interrupting with idle chattel. I cannot be listening to both at once!”
“If you’re quite done?”
“Apologiez, your Hignezz. A small confusion. Ve can continue.”
“Very well. It has been… quite a long time since I have been propositioned so brazenly—”
“It has been a long time since she had such a bold proposal.”
“—and your forthrightness does you credit: it is a rare quality in this era of pontificators and ramblers.”
“...I don’t… She compliments your… straightness?”
“Perhaps the old ways of diplomacy are not yet truly abandoned.”
“Perhaps old styles are not lost.”
“And, though unexpected, I would not be against such a union.”
“She supports the alliance.”
“Though I imagine having your interpreter present would spoil the atmosphere. If you’ll allow me to cast a small spell…”
“But she thinks the translator might—vait, vat vas zat?”
“How is this, Princess Zaftig?”
“Ah! I understood you!”
“And I you. It is nice to speak with you directly.”
“This is amazing! Why doesn’t everycreature use this?”
“Alas, translation is merely a useful aftereffect of the spell’s main purpose.”
“Princezz? Princess? Vhy cannot I understand you? What are these noises?”
“...and it is limited to two participants.”
“Still, this is much better than trusting him to speak for me.”
“I see. So that’s the situation. From your reactions, I had an inkling his words were less than truthful.”
“I think he might just have a big ego and a small vocabulary. Though he did seem to be taking more liberties as we went.”
“Then I gather you did not, in fact, come with the goal of seducing me?”
“He said that?! No! This was supposed to just be a formal introduction. I am so sorry!”
“Worry not. I understand.”
“Thank you, your highness.”
“...so I take it that you are uninterested then?”
“Ancestors, no! I’d give my stripes for a chance to be with—oh no.”
“Be at ease. Starswirl’s Truthful Tongue spell makes secrets harder to conceal. That being said, yours is my only meeting for the night. Perhaps you’d like to take this somewhere more… private?”
“I… think I’d like that very much, your highness.”
“Please, call me Luna.”
