A Few Fruit Short of a Salad

by BludgeonWarrior

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Mr. Cake, Mrs. Cake, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 10994

The Cake's niece Fruit comes to stay with them for awhile, and Ponyville will never be the same.

(Art done by Samaru163)
Fruit Cake: Carrot's niece. She's been kicked out of her parents home..., again. So she's staying with the Cakes, and the Cakes aren't too thrilled about that... Not only are they scared about her and the twins; they're terrified of what madness Fruit will unleash with Pinkie Pie....
Join Ponyville as they brace themselves for this crazy mare and witness her antics that all end in hilarity.

Published 2012-10-11 01:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-01 00:46:45 UTC

Tossed Around Like a...

Fruit Cake.

She was a young earth pony mare, with a green coat, and a green mane with red streaks in it. She had faint purple eyes that had a wild look to them, and her cutie mark was, well obviously, a fruit cake.

Fruit Cake had just arrived in Ponyville on the train, and was in a rush to meet her Uncle Carrot Cake in the station.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Uncle Carrot!!!" She yelled upon seeing her terrified, sweating uncle.

"He-hello Fr-Fruit...," he stammered nervously, trying not to be rude to his niece, "D-did you have a n-nice trip?"

"Yeah, but it was soooooooooooooooo booooorrrriiing! There was nothing to eat! Well, after I ate all the cake, but whatever, and there was this guy who just kept talking, and talking, and talking!"

As she said this, that particular colt walked by grumbling some unintelligible curses.

"And then there was this guy, who I swear is a robot, comes up to me and asks for some bits! I said no at first, but then he threatened to get his bouncers and I gave it to him. He did give me a ticket though... And there was this other guy who had this crazy awesome hat! I could only wish for a hat like that. And there-"

"Okay then!" Mr. Cake interrupted, unable to restrain himself anymore, "Lets head on over to Sugarcube Corner then..."

"Oh, guess you're right Uncle Carrot. Um, could you help me with my bags?"

"Sure."

"Thanks, Uncle, they're over there." Fruit pointed to several multi-colored bags of various sizes. Before Carrot could say anything, she'd already left for Sugarcube Corner.

"Ughhh," he sighed.

At Sugarcube Corner, Mrs. Cake was frantic; she was getting things ready for when Fruit arrived. The twins were taking a nap, and Pinkie was hanging with the her friends, so she was at it alone. She scrubbed, washed, and dried everything, and made sure that all sharp utensils were stashed away. She was so caught up with her work, she didn't notice Fruit creep behind her...

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, Auntie Cup!!! She yelled right behind Mrs. Cake, causing her to drop all the silverware.

"Uh, hello..., Fruit....," she was gasping for air, "but please keep it down, the twins are-"

Crying could be heard from upstairs.

"Sleeping...," Mrs. Cake sighed.

"Oh, sorry, Auntie Cup," Fruit apologized, " I didn't know-"

"Could you hand me those bottles?"

Fruit Cake saw two full bottles on the counter. She handed them over to Mrs. Cake and then she went up to tend to the twins.

Mrs. Cake came down from putting the twins back to bed.

"So Fruit, how was- ahhh!"

Mrs. Cake saw that Fruit had cleaned up everything! The silverware, the dishes, everything!

"Sorry 'bout earlier, Auntie Cup," Fruit twiddled her hooves, "so I cleaned up everything for you! I know, I did an awesome job, right!?"

Mrs. Cake stared for a bit, then spoke, "Thank you, Fruit! Why your parents kicked you out I'll never know!"

"Heh, well, they got mad after I assaulted the mail-pony, again..., and they were also annoyed that I kept eating all the merchandise and bugging the customers, and eating everything, being noisy, and loud, and 'rambunktious', and stuff like that."

Mrs. Cake sighed, "You haven't changed a bit since we saw you some years ago..."

"Objection! I have changed! I no longer think that mules are from space!" Fruit declared, "They're from Caneighda."

All Mrs. Cake could do is chuckle at Fruit's notion.

"So where's-"

"Uncle Carrot? He's fetching my bags. He's so generous."

"I suppose...," Mrs. Cake, a bit skeptical.

"Sooooooooooooooo," Fruit nudged.

"What?"

"When do I get to see those two adorable little foals!?"

"Maybe after their nap....," Mrs. Cake replied nervously.

"Awwwwww, okay," Fruit groaned, "Could'ya least show me to my room?"

"Okay then," she agreed.

Mrs. Cake brought her up to where Pinkie stayed.

"Wooow!!!! You got the whole place already set up for me! Awesome!"

"Well, actually," Mrs. Cake admitted, "you're going to share this room with Pinkie. She rents out this place and works here."

"Awesome! Roomates!"

Suddenly, all the horrible scenarios that could play out from Fruit and Pinkie went through Mrs. Cake's head, and she grew increasingly worried...

"This is gonna be amazing! I've never had a roommate before; I'll share all my awesome stories with her! Like the one time when I asked the teacher where the sun and moon went when they set! Or about when I accused the neighbor of being a changeling!"

Mrs. Cake cocked an eyebrow.

"What?! He was weird and seriously creepy...; he sniffed my mane and told my it smelled like fruit! Tell me that's not creepy?!"

Mrs. Cake sighed, " I better check on the twins again..."

"Oh, oh, oh! Can I come!? I'll be super extra quiet! Plleeeeeeeaase!"

Another sigh, "Very well, but no shouting."

"Thanks, Auntie Cup!" Fruit giggled.

The two of them made their way down the stairs, Fruit over-exaggerating her steps. They came to the twins bedroom, and Mrs. Cake opened the door ever so slightly.

"Still sleeping," Mrs. Cake confirmed.

"Let me see! Let me see!" Fruit demanded, albeit quietly, and looked inside. She moved and Mrs. Cake closed the door softly.

"Omigosh! Omigosh! They are sooooooooo cute!" She giggled, "What are their names, again?"

"Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake," Mrs. Cake answered.

"Ohhh, I can't wait to play with them! I knew you had foals, so I thought of some amazing games and things we could do together on the way here! I can show them how to catch frogs, the best way to eat spaghetti, and my patent-pending Easy Cake Oven (trademark)!"

The two went back down to the main floor, and they saw Mr. Cake with a wagon carrying all of Fruit's bags.

"There you are, Uncle Carrot!" Fruit welcomed, "you took your time."

Mr. Cake groaned.

"See, Auntie Cup, I brought everything I need to make these next some months incredibly fun and awesome! Ponyville is in for a crazy and wild party tonight! OW!"

Roommates....(oh dear)

Fruit Cake bounced delightfully around the store, imagining all the adventures she'll have here in Ponyville.

"Mrs. Cake, I'm back from-"

Fruit stopped and turned. The voice came from from a pink pony at the door who was staring at her. Fruit tilted her head; the pink pony tilted hers as well. Fruit then tilted her head the other way, and the pink pony did the same.

"Fruit, meet Pinkie Pie," Mrs. Cake introduced, "Pinkie, this is our niece, Fruit Cake. She's staying here until she can afford a house of her own, and she'll be staying in your room as well."

"O my gosh! A roommate! I've never had a roommate before!' Pinkie exclaimed. "We should totally have a party tonight!"

"You read my mind, Pinkie! First, help me with my stuff."

"Sure!"

The two hyper mares each grabbed a bag and headed to Pinkie's room.

"Uggghhh," Mr. Cake groaned, "I hope it wasn't a bad idea to let her stay here..."

"I know, dear, but we're next on the list."

Mr. Cake sighed again.

"...And that's how I got my cutie mark," Fruit finished.

"Wow! That's so cool! I never knew you could even bake a cake like that..."

"Trust me, it works!"

"Oh, I should introduce you to Gummy. Be right back!"

Fruit continued to unpack. She took out a cheese wheel, a pair of socks, a bowling pin, and seventeen cans of Red Minotaur, her favorite drink. Then she felt something bite her mane, but it didn't hurt at all.

"Fruit, meet Gummy!" Pinkie returned. It was a toothless baby alligator.

"WHOA! Awesome! You have a baby alligator, sweet! And he's so cute."

Gummy kept biting at her mane and tail.

"Gummy really likes you!"

"Cool! Oh, check this out!"

Fruit pulled out a weird toy-like object. It had a round base with hole in the center, and a rope that went through the hole. One side had a large knot in the rope and the other had a hoop at the very end.

"It's was my old swing when I was a filly," Fruit explained, "I'm going to give it to the twins for their birthday coming up."

"That'll be perfect for them! What's this?" Pinkie picked up a strange bright purple box that had green and red stripes around it.

"That's mine!' Fruit grabbed it out of Pinkie's hooves and put it down. "It's mine, and is the only thing I don't want you to touch at all!"

"Okay!" Pinkie backed away.

"I'm sorry," Fruit apologized, "but it's very important to me..., and I don't like other ponies touching it..." Fruit began to sulk.

"Hey, don't be so down! Lets get the rest of your stuff unpacked, so we can get thing ready for the party!'

Fruit jumped up, and her exuberance returned, "Yeah!"

The two ponies continued to unpack, Fruit telling Pinkie stories about every single object.

"I got this from my trip to Appleloosa," she said holding an apple-shaped clock, "and this from when I stayed at my Aunt Angel's place in Canterlot," this time holding an emerald that had streaks of ruby in it.

"It matches your mane!"

"I know, that's why I got it. I plan to put it on an outfit, maybe..."

"Oo! Oo! My friend Rarity can help you with that. She's the best dressmaker in all of Equestra!"

"Man! You know everybody! I wish I had friends...," Fruit sighed.

"WHAAAAAAT!?!?", Pinkie gasped, "No friends!?"

"Yeah..., I guess that other ponies don't like it when you jump on them on Nightmare Night and cause them to run off into a river..."

Pinkie sat there thinking, then she bounced up, "I'll be your friend!"

Fruit wiped her eyes and smiled, "Thanks..."

"Everypony should have at least one friend," Pinkie beamed.

Fruit nodded, "Lets get back to it!"

They continued to unpack, until finally, they were finished.

"There we we go Fruit," Pinkie began, "Now I'm going to get things ready for your party!" She zoomed down the stairs to start preparing.

Fruit turned back to the mysterious box; she opened it and looked inside...

Fruit Party

That night, almost all of Ponyville came to Sugarcube Corner, not hesitating on attending a Pinkie Party. Their only surprise was who the party was for: Fruit Cake, a mare that much resembled Pinkie in personality. The party was outside Sugarcube Corner, because of Pound and Pumpkin, but that didn't stop the party from being as loud as it could be. DJ Pon-3 showed up at Pinkie's request, and then things really got going.

"WHOOOOOOOOOW-HOOOOOOOOOW!!"

Fruit was head-banging to the bass Vinyl kept dropping.

"Pinkie," Fruit said coming over to her, "you really know how to throw a party! OW!" Fruit then jumped on the stage, and shoved several records towards Vinyl, "Spin dat slag! OW!"

DJ-Pon-3 took and ran with , funky music blaring out of the speakers, herself rockin' to the beats.

"YEEEEAAAAAH!!!"

Fruit then jumped off the stage and fell face first into the ground.

"You okay?" Pinkie asked.

Fruit got on her hooves, albeit stumbling, "Yeah," she muttered, her eyes derping, "Perficly fiin..." She shook herself together. "See? Nothin' to it! WHOOOOOOOOOW!!" Fruit then ran off to go dance.

Pinkie smiled watched her newest friend dance like nopony's ever danced before.

"Hello, Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake shouted to get Pinkie's attention due to the loud music, "How's Fruit?"

"She's doing just fine, Mrs. Cake!"

"Okay then, just don't get her too wound up." Mrs. Cake then walked back into Sugarcube Corner, covering her ears from the horror that was modern music.

Pinkie went over to Fruit, who was dancing in a strange way, standing on her back hooves and hopping about. Her front hooves extended in front of her and alternating her back hooves as she hopped.

"Check it, Pinkie! My sick moves! OW!"

A new song started to play.

"Oh, oh, oh! This is my song!" Fruit ran off to go dance some more; Pinkie ran after her. The two danced like crazy to the crazy song.

"This is a fun song!" Pinkie shouted to Fruit.

"Yeah! It's one of my faves! Check this move!" Fruit got up on her front hooves, and danced on them with little effort. She then jump up and did a spin, landing perfectly back down.

"Wow, Fruit! You're a wonderful dancer!" Pinkie awestruck.

"Thanks! I was actually banned from dance competitions because of how good I am! Well, that, and the fact I accidentally injured one of the judges, hehe!" Fruit's stomach growled, "Man, I'm hungry! I'm gonna get something to eat!" Fruit raced over to the snack table.

She couldn't believe her eyes; there were so many apple foods! Fruit drooled as she gazed at their magnificence.

"Well, howdy there!"

Fruit turned around; it was an orange earth pony mare wearing a cowboy hat.

"I reckon you're the pony Pinkie's havin' this party fer, Fruit Cake, ain't it?"

Fruit was too busy staring at all the food to say anything, so she just nodded.

"Heh, thought so! Name's Applejack! I run Sweet Apple Acres here in Ponyville. What 'bout y'all?"

Fruit, still engrossed by the food, didn't respond.

Applejack laughed, "I'll stop talkin' so y'all kin eat, enjoy!"

Fruit made no hesitation; she jumped straight in and started devouring all sorts of apple treats, each one better than the last.

"I take it ya'll like 'em," AJ chucked.

"SO GOOD!" Fruit kept on shoving cascade of applely goodness in her mouth.

"Uhh, maybe ya'll want to take it easy...?"

Fruit shook her head, then swallowed the fritter in her mouth, "But's sooooooo gooooood!"

"Yeah, but there're others here to ya know."

"Fine...," Fruit sighed, "I'll just take these and go," grabbing three apple pies and running off.

Applejack sighed; Fruit had demolished the snack table. Pinkie walked over, "Hi, Applejack, whoa, what happened?"

"Yer friend Fruit Cake did," AJ sighed.

"Well, she must really like apples! Well, c'ya AJ!" Pinkie bounced off to find Fruit, leaving Applejack to tend to the mess.

"Hey, you seen Fruit? Fruit? Have you seen her? Fruit Cake?" Pinkie asked ponies as she looked for Fruit.

"URRRRRUUUUUUPPPP!!!!

Pinkie follow the sound of the huge belch, and low and behold, was the belch-er. Fruit sat on the ground with pie tins on her chest.

"Heh, 'scuse me. Sup Pinkie!?"

"Did you eat all the snacks?"

"Yeah, I kinda got carried away, but they were delicious! Out of my way, Pinkie! I'm gonna hit the dance floor! BOW!"

Fruit raced onto the dance floor and started busting all kinds of sick dance moves, but the apple pies disagreed with her...

Bad First Impressions

Bad First Impressions

"That was... interesting," Pinkie muttered while bringing Fruit inside after she had hurled chunks all over some poor pony.

"Ugggghhhhhh...," Fruit moaned, "That one last pie..."

"Sit here, Fruit," Pinkie sat her friend down, "I'll get something for that upset tummy." Pinkie bounced off to the kitchen to get Fruit some medicine.

Fruit continued to moan, which brought the Cakes downstairs.

"What happened?" They both asked.

"Too many apples..., ughhh," Fruit moaned, hold her chest.

"She ate too much and got sick," Pinkie came back in, "really sick..."

"Maybe it's time you two got to bed," Mrs. Cake suggested.

Fruit nodded.

Pinkie and Fruit were in bed and ready for dreamland.

"Man, what a night!" Fruit, feeling much better.

"Yeah," Pinkie agreed somewhat.

"Just wait til tomorrow," Fruit continued, "I've got some killer ideas for us to do! Well, good night!"

Fruit almost instantly fell asleep, leaving Pinkie to think about what had happened earlier.

"Yeah, good night...," Pinkie said, just a little worried about her new friend's behavior.

Market Madness Part 1

Mrs. Cake was baking some treats to stock the store, but she was quite out of it;she hadn't slept that night. Everything that happened last night with Fruit made her more worried then ever. She also had to pay Applejack compensation for Fruit eating all of her treats; she got her ears chewed out by the victim of Fruit's vomit, and that wasn't very pleasant for Mrs. Cake because of the victim's potty mouth.

She was stirring batter for a cake when Mr. Cake came in the kitchen, "Honey, we're going to need some ingredients, we're out."

"I know," she replied, "I already sent Pinkie to the market. I also asked her to take the twins with her."

"Very well then," He left, then came back, "Also have you seen Fruit? I haven't seen her all day."

"...............Oh no..."

Pinkie Pie was trotting her way towards the market, although a little slowly.

"Man, you two are heavy...," Pinkie exasperated; she was carrying the twins in their holster saddle, but Pinkie was not used to carrying foals around.

"HIYA PINKIE!!"

Pinkie around and saw Fruit beside her, grinning insanely wide, much like she would.

"Fruit? You coming too?"

"Slag yeah! I wanted to hang out with you, and these two wittle cuties!" Fruit said as she rubbed Pound's head. She then nuzzled her head to his, to which Pound replied to a hard punch to Fruit's face, knocking her back a ways.

"Oh no! Fruit, you okay?"

"AH! AH! Yeah, I'm fine, but MAN this colt's got hooves of iron! OW!"

"That's true," Pinkie remembering Pound's first punch to her face.

Fruit picked herself up and started to walk with Pinkie towards the market.

"So what the heck we getting?" Fruit asked, still rubbing her bruise.

"Sugar, Flour, and other things; we need to restock."

"Then it's a good thing i came then. After all, you're going to need help getting all that stuff back home."

"Yeah, thanks Fruit!"

"It's what I do!"

They continued to walk for a bit til they finally arrived at the market, filled with the wonders of capitalism.

"Look at all the industry!" Fruit said as she pointed to the rather crowded street.

"Could you hand me the list?" Pinkie asked Fruit, "It's in the saddle pocket...ow..."

"Sure!" Fruit then got it out and tried to read her aunt's really nice hoofwriting, "Umm..., the first thing we need is flour, well duh, I mean it's a bakery, course we need flour!"

"Now then, where was it?" Pinkie looked around, but she couldn't move much, and her back was starting to hurt from carrying the twins.

"Hey, Pinkie?" Fruit began, "Maybe you wanna take the twins off while you get groceries?"

"I don't know..." Pinkie knowing full well the trouble the foals can get in.

"C'mon Pinkie! I can handle these two adorwable wittle fwoalz all by myself, don'cha trust me?"

"Well......, I guess it could be okay-"

"YEAAAHH! Lets get you two out," Fruit started with Pumpkin, since she knew full well of Pound's left hook, but soon they were both out of the saddle harness.

"Are you sure-"

"Just go and get the stuff!"

"Okay!" Pinkie then bounced away to get the restock, leaving Fruit Cake , with her cousins Pound and Pumpkin...

.

Substitute Learner Part 1

It was an early Thursday morning and all the little colts and fillies were heading off to school, ready to learn more on how to grow into the ponies of the future. They all came in and sat in their seats, chatting about what they had heard happened in the market yesterday.

"A'h heard that it was Pinkie's new friend."

"Rarity told me it was ragged madpony!"

The gossip continued on until the bell's ringing silenced them and they became quiet, anticipating the arrival of their teacher Cheerilee.

"........................................................"

A minute passed by, and Cheerilee still hadn't arrived.

"Well.....Where is she?"

"After school yesterday, I saw her going to Sugarcube Corner..."

Suddenly, there was a loud crash outside the schoolhouse.

"MY HOOF!!! My hoof..."

"Heh....Sorry..."

The kids listened as they heard mumbling and hoofsteps approaching the door.

"....Geez, what a backseat driver...."

The children saw in front of them an olive green mare with an unkempt green and red mane. Her light purple eyes were exploding with energy and her smile was wide enough to rival Pinkie's.

"'Sup, little dudes!" She announced, "Name's Cake; Fruit Cake." She put on a pair of sunglasses from her bag and started posing oddly.

The children just sat there and kept staring at Fruit. "So..What are you doing here?" A pink filly asked snarkly.

"Oh...right..." Fruit giggled and took of her shades, "I'm your teacher for today! EEHEEHEEHEEEE! We're going to have so much fun!"

"What happened to Cheerilee?" One of the colts asked.

"She..uhh....needed some time off..." Fruit lied. It was actually her fault Cheerilee wasn't there. It happened yesterday when Cheerilee went to Sugarcube Corner...

Fruit was resting; she was still tipsy from her...ahem...'adventure,' a couple hours ago. The Cakes had left to pay compensation for the damages in the market, and Pinkie took the twins to the park. Fruit was home alone.

The trouble started when Cheerilee walked in, "Mrs. Cake? Are you home...?" She went over to the counter, "Mrs. Cake?"

"Stop Shoutin' , I'm Nappin'!!!!!!" Fruit yelled down. She started down the stairs, but she tripped....

"D'oh! Ow! Pain! Apple! Cabbage!"

She landed at the bottom of the stairs, "......I hate stairs...." Fruit moaned as lied there.

"Umm...Excuse me...?" Cheerilee spoke up.

Fruit got up, rubbing her rump, "Uhh...Whatdya need. Ow...."

"Uh....yes...Well, I'm here to pick up my order of cookies for-"

"You sure you need those cookies?" Fruit interjected, "If you ask me, I think you can do without those cookies..."

"Oh no! They're not for me!" Cheerilee laughed, trying not to be offended, "They're for my students; I teach at the school here and I wanted to reward them all for their hard work on their history projects!"

Fruit squinted her eyes and went up to Cheerilee's face. Cheerilee just kept smiling, trying not to be rude, as Fruit came closer.

"Okay then!" Fruit stepped back and smiled, "I just had to check if your heart's intentions were true...Hehe! I'll go in back and see if I can't find those cookies!"

Fruit went into the kitchen and search for the cookies.

"Hmm....Where are those- Oh dear!"

She saw a bowl filled with cookie dough on the counter; Mrs. Cake hadn't started baking them!

"O noes! O noes! O noes!!!!"

"Is everything alright back there?" Cheerilee asked from the other room.

"Heh...Yeah, of course! Just need to add the sprinkles~ (I'm so slagged!)"

Fruit raced around the kitchen, stirring the dough, splatting chunks of it on a cookie sheet, and then shoving them into the oven.

"Ahh! Don't have time to wait! I'll just make it really hot! That way the cookies will get bake really fast! I'm so smart!"

She shut the oven door, and set it to 10,000 'F!

"C'mon........C'mon....." Fruit frantically paced back and forth.

'Ding'

"Finally!!!" Fruit got them out; they were black and smoking. "Ack! Well, it's a good thing I know how to fix this!" She reached into her mane and pulled out a spray can. "I knew edible spray paint was a good idea!"

She let loose with the spray can and soon the one dozen cookies were bright.........red.....

"Too bad red's the only color I made work..."

Fruit dumped the cookies into a box and came out of the kitchen.

"There! One dozen cookies for all those cute kids! Come again!" Fruit said as she shoved the box into Cheerilee's hooves and turned her to the door.

"You don't mind if I check them..." Cheerilee opened the box and looked at the cookies.

"See, they're awesome! Now go!"

"Where are the sprinkles you were putting on?"

"Eh...Sprinkles are overrated, just leave your bits on the counter and GO! Heh..."

"Let me try one..." Cheerilee reached in and picked out a cookie...

"Heh....(Please be good! Please be good!)"

Cheerilee put the cookie to her mouth....

Sirens blared.

"Huh...Wonder what that's about....Oh well!" Cheerilee took a bite out of the cookie...

Cheerilee had to go to Ponyville Hospital to get her stomach pumped and she couldn't teach today. Fruit had felt awful about what happened and volunteered to sub for her at the school. The Cakes were wary, but Fruit's persistence served her well.

"All rrrrrrrrrighty then!" Fruit began, "I need names, your names; names that will help me tell who's who in this rabble!" She dashed over to one of the desks, "What's yer name, son!?"

"Umm..........Featherweight....sir?" the meek colt replied, scared half to death.

Fruit looked at him, "Could'a fooled me, kid...." She then lunged over to another desk, "What's yer name, soldier!?!"

"Air Rave! Reporting for duty, sir!" He sat at attention.

"Heh...That's what I like to see...."

"Ugh....Get on with it!"

Fruit snapped up; it was the pink filly from earlier. Fruit walked over to the filly's desk, "Who are you?" She asked.

"My name's Diamond Tiara," the filly bragged, "And my Daddy is the-" She was cut off by Fruit's hoof in her mouth.

"Don't speak, I'm directing..." Fruit release Tiara's lips, which now were red. She walked over to the next desk where a gray filly sat. Fruit looked at the filly's cutie mark, "Let me guess, Golden Fork?"

"Uh...No, Silver Spoon..."

"That was my next guess..." Fruit then walked over to the next row where she saw three fillies, all of them without cutie marks, "You guys should form a club!" She suggested.

"We already are a club!" The orange pegasus replied.

"Darn-it! People keep stealing my ideas!" Fruit sighed, "What are your names...."

"A'm Apple Bloom!"

"Scootaloo!"

"Sweetie Bell! And together we are...."

"The Seekers!!!!" Fruit interrupted, "Right..?"

"No! We're the.... CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!!" The three of them all shouted.

"Again!?! I must be having an off day...." Fruit walked up to the board, "Now that I know all your names-"

"What about us?" Three kids in the back asked confused.

"You're not important enough... Anyway, today's lesson.....ahem........"

Substitute Learner Part 2

"And that's what really happened during the Battle of Little Big Horn!" Fruit finished her quite exaggerated history lesson.

The kids sat there baffled at the madness they had just witnessed....

"Um....Ms. Cake...?" Featherweight rose his hoof, "Why did General Custard ally himself with the Evil Robot Princess?"

"Good question, Featherwit," Fruit responded, "Custard was after the Evil Robot Princess' Candy Tree of Immortality! ......Any other questions? Appleblock?"

"It's Applebloom.......Why in the hay would there be an Evil Robot Princess with a Candy Tree of Immortality!?"

"There wasn't!" Fruit giggled.

"What?!" Scootaloo shouted," Everything you talked about for the last fifteen minutes was a lie?!?!"

"Well not all of it....There was a battle....I think..........Eh, history is boring! That's why I decided to spice it up!"

"So there wasn't a giant hydra-pony.....?" Sweetie Belle asked confused, "Or a Multi-Purpose Hat of Superness....?"

"Nope!!"

"Wow! You blank flanks actually bought that dumb story? Haha!"

Fruit walked back over to Diamond Tiara's desk and leaned on it.

"If anyone wanted your opinion they'd ask for it...So shut it!"

"What kind of teacher are you?!?" Tiara yelled at Fruit.

"Ya know...You remind me of my father.......I HATED MY FATHER!!!!" Fruit picked up Diamond Tiara and took out a carrot. She put the carrot to Tiara face, "I just got one question...." Fruit dropped her, "Eh...What's up derp?" Fruit asked while she chew the carrot, watching Tiara's eyes go right round. "Nothin' eh....Get back in your seat stay quiet, yes?"

Fruit walked back up to the board, "Now ve are goingk to shtudy shience!" Fruit spoke with a Germare accent. "Now, vich von of yous can tell me vhere foals come from....?"

None spoke up...

"Vell that makesh two of us! Very vell then....Who can come up to ze board und draw a diagram of shience? Anypony....?"

Again...silence...

"Ugh...Nevermind...." Fruit dropped the accent, "Okay...umm.....Science is...............Ya know, science is boring too! Lets go into one of my favorite subjects....Art!!"

An hour passed and the students were all at work on their projects.

"Kay then, little dudes, stop where you're doin', it's time fer lunch!" Fruit yelled at all of them.

They all stopped and cleaned up, then they went outside to have lunch. Fruit stayed inside and got something out of her bag....

"Heeheeheeheeeeee!!" She shifted around to make sure nopony was watching, and she pulled out a sandwich. "Oh sandwich...nopony will keep us apart.... now that we're alone....."

"She's nuts!"

She's psycho!"

"She's kinda funny...."

All of the students had gathered together outside, to discuss Fruit's methods....

"She's crazy! How is she allowed to teach?!" Featherweight voiced his opinion.

"Yeah! She practically assaulted me!!" Tiara raised her voice.

"Fer once, I have ta agree with ya," Applebloom responded, "That was pretty mean..."

"Hey, it's not like she didn't deserve it...." Air Rave smirked; he was then hit by Scootaloo. "OW!"

"C'mon AR, we all know she deserved it, but not like that!"

"Well, what can we do?" Sweetie Belle interjected, "Even if we don't like her...she's our teacher...the one Cheerilee picked out for us...."

"I'm still not sure 'bout that...." Applebloom raised an eyebrow.

"You guys are are all paranoid...." Air Rave shook his head, "I'm gonna eat my food now...." He left to eat his lunch.

"Yeah....I'm going too...." Featherweight said as he left too.

The rest of them all dispersed as well, to eat their lunch and to prepare their courage....

An hour passed; the kids were back inside and continuing to work on their art.

Fruit sat there in Cheerilee's desk, feeling awesome about how she' doing...

"What were Uncle and Auntie so freaked about, I'm doing an awesome job! Sure, teaching is boring, but I did it! Hmm... What to do now....."

Fruit looked down to the drawer in the desk...

"..........I don't think she'd mind....."

Fruit opened the drawer and peered inside...

"Woah...." Fruit pulled out a small book that had Cheerilee's cutie mark on the cover.

"This must be her journal......Hmmm.....No! I really shouldn't....."

Fruit looked around the classroom; the students were too busy throwing paint and glitter around to notice her...

Fruit opened the diary...

"I'm being........NAAAUUUGHTYYY......"

She began reading...

"Dear diary,

Today was certainly the weirdest experience of my life, and I don't even remember it! Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle had tricked me and Big Mac into drinking a love poison they somehow made (I know Twilight was involved...) and we nearly wrecked the town! You can't imagine how many times I had to apologize to the Cakes and Rarity for their doors (Though the former were a lot more understanding). Once again, I blame myself....I should just keep shut about my personal life around those three..."

"Wow...she has issues...."

"Umm...Ms. Cake?"

"AAAHHHHH!! I didn't do it! Oh....hey uh............"

"Featherweight..."

"Yeah, right.... Whaddya need TetherSkate?"

"Umm... What's that?" He pointed at the diary.

"Huh?" Fruit looked and noticed she it was still in her hoof. "Oh! Uh....nothing!" Fruit shoved the book into her mane. "So...What was your question, LeatherGrit?"

"Um.....Okay....I'm finish with my project and I wanted you to look at it..."

"That it? Sheesh... I can do that!"

Fruit got up and followed Featherweight to his painting. She had to trot carefully through a mine-field of crayons, paint, and glitter, before finally arriving at the mission objective.

"So this is it, huh?" Fruit inspected the artwork and was evaluating it. "Well.... I can see where you were going, but it lacks basic shape and form...."

"It's a tree..." Featherweight sighed.

"Hey! Don't be so down! I never said I didn't like it! A!"

"Thanks Ms. Cake..."

Fruit then went around the class and graded all of the students projects, whether they were done or not...

DING! DING!

"Huh.... Well, I guess it's over...." Fruit grabbed her bag. "SEE YA KIDS!!" She went to run out, but she hit the door...

"Owww.....I hate doors...."

Dull Derpy Dilemas

"Why won't anything happen....?"

Fruit Cake laid on the floor as she pondered her existence, and something else to do the would make today less boring than it was. Pinkie had left with her friends to go on some epic quest, and the Cakes left for Manehatten for a special delivery. They took the twins and forbade Fruit from leaving, baking, partying or teaching while they were out.

"Ugh....; I played with Gummy, cleaned the entire house, messed it up and cleaned it again, read all of Cheerilee's diary (Not a bad read...), took inventory twice, made a replica of Princess Luna out of forks, practiced my martial arts, ate three apple tarts, drank two cans of Red Minotaur, tried to grow wings, listened to all my records, found a jar of dirt, beat my old yodeling record, took a bath, invented boxing, had a conversation with my inner filly, did a barrel roll, wrote a book about shoes, got three combs and a brush caught in my mane, designed a bell that makes papayas explode, discovered the meaning of life, fell in love while looking out the window, recited my entire high school play, and I MADE MY BED!!!! I'm out of things to do!!"

Fruit got up and began to pace around the room for about forty-seven seconds before she tripped over herself and fell face-first on the floor. She lied motionless for a bit, then began to push herself forward with her back hooves, her face still flat on the floor. Fruit kept scooting around like this until she bumped into the wall and could scoot no further. After about three minutes of Fruit trying to faze through the very solid wall she flipped around onto her back and began to stare at the ceiling. She wished something would just crash through the roof and relieve Fruit of her boredom.

Then, as if some universal power decided to fulfill Fruit's wish....

CRASHHH!!!

"WAHHH!!!" Fruit's first instinct was to run behind the nearby chair and grab the bowl of fruit on the table next to it to hurl at the possibly dangerous....thing that fell through the roof.

Fruit peeked out from behind the chair to get a glimpse of the intruder, only to find that it was a pegasus mare wearing a small mail-pony hat. She had a gray coat and a yellow mane under her hat.

"Uh........., 'Sup......" Fruit greeted her guest, only for Fruit to realize that her guest had her face planted in the floor. "Hehe...., better help her out...." Fruit proceeded to pick up the mare and put her on the sofa, "Dang, you got whacked hard!" Fruit surmised after see the condition of the mailmare's eyes.

After placing her guest on the couch, Fruit ran down to the main floor to get a bag of ice for the mailmare's head. "I hope I can get her out of here before Uncle and Auntie get back, or else they'll think I did this to her. Reminds me of that one time I found that hobo in our trash can...." Fruit continued her rambling as she got the ice bag and brought it upstairs and placed it on the mailmare's head.

"And then Dad caught him eating his slippers! Hahahaaa.... oh, heh.... That was rich!" Fruit sat on the chair and wiped the tears in eyes from laughing at her memories.

"Ugh....." The mailmare began to stir, "Where am I?"

"You're at Sugarcube Corner," Fruit answered, "You crashed through the roof and I.......uhh...." Fruit trailed off as she looked at the mailmare's eyes, only being able to look into one as the other eye looked in a different direction.

"Are you okay...?" The mailmare ask Fruit, noticing her staring.

Fruit shook herself back to normal, "I think I should be asking you that question... Your eyes are all...." Fruit tried to demonstrate with her own eyes, but found that she couldn't, so she made a bunch of motions with her hooves to get her point across.

"Oh, that..." The mailmare sighed, "They're always like that, ever since I was born...."

"Really?!? Wow....."

The mailmare turned away, "Go ahead, laugh..."

"Why would I laugh?!?! That's SO AWESOME!! I've seen a lot of really cool stuff, but that is just way to cool! I mean, I can't even get my eyes to do that! You got some gift!"

"Well, you're the first to think that..." The mailmare sniffed.

Fruit smiled, "Don't listen to what others say about you, you don't have to take any of that. Just be yourself! I've had a lot of ponies make fun of me for my crazy antics, but I don't take any heed, I love myself just the way I am, and you should too..."

"Thanks...," The mailmare smiled as she rubbed a tear from her eye, "My name's Derpy, Derpy Hooves."

"Nice to meet you, Derpy!" Fruit smiled as she tried not to laugh at such an unfortunate name, "I apologize, but I kinda need to get you out here before the Cakes get back from their delivery. Heh..."

"No problem!" Derpy turned to head down the stairs when Fruit jumped in front of her.

"Wait! Could you return this to Cheerilee?" Fruit asked as she handed the diary to Derpy.

"Sure!" Derpy then proceeded to head down when she stopped, "And Fruit...., Thanks...." Derpy finally went down and let herself out while Fruit returned to the couch to take a nap.

Fruit sighed, "I should learn to take my own advice...." She then rested her head on a pillow while trying to get her eyes like Derpy's.

Fruit's Going Batty (Does This Surprise Anyone?)

Music swept across Ponyville on this fine, sunny day as Fruit sat outside Sugarcube Corner strumming her banjo. The Cakes had returned from their delivery and allowed Fruit to go outside the shop, but not before fixing the hole in the roof....

Pinkie hadn't returned yet so Fruit was bored yet again, although this time, she could be outside and be bored. So Fruit decided to play her banjo for the town to hear. She was actually quite good at the banjo, and she often made her own versions of classic music pieces.

Fruit had just finished her version of Beethoofen's 5th when Mrs. Cake came out of the shop.

"Fruit, dearie, could you go check upstairs? There's this squeaking noise I keep hearing from up there, and I think it's coming from your room...."

"Sure Auntie...." Fruit sighed. She picked up her banjo and sighed again as she trudged inside.

"Ugh...., when will Pinkie get back from her.... thing... place.... thing....."

Fruit paused instantaneously as she went up the stairs.

"Where did Pinkie go? She never told me.... Hmm...."

Fruit began to imagine all the different scenarios of where Pinkie was. What if she wandered into the Wastes and was attacked by a giant skeletal dragon? What if she met a legendary samurai pony and they went on a quest to find their true power? What if she encountered a crazed mare who's obsessed with fire, and Pinkie and her friends were on an epic mission to stop the mare from incinerating all of Equestia?!?

Fruit then dismissed all those ideas, they being way too implausible to ever happen, and she continued up the steps.

As she got to the top, Fruit began to hear the squeaking.

"That must be what Auntie was talking about...."

Fruit started her search, looking behind every picture frame and between every couch cushion, but found nothing. She then began following the squeaking, homing in on the source of the sound. Fruit slowly crept up to where the noise was loudest...

"Annnnnnnnnnnnd..... GOTCHA!!!

Instantly, Fruit was swarmed with green, red, and a whole lot of squeaks.

"Gah! What the slag.... was..... that...." Fruit trailed off as she saw one of the most awesome things she ever seen.

It was a fruit bat; one of those subspecies of bat that looked like actual fruit. The only thing was that it didn't look like any fruit Fruit Cake had ever seen before, and she'd seen every single kind of fruit from apples to tomatoes. As a matter of fact, it was the same colors as Fruit's mane!

The fruit bat huddled itself on the floor; Fruit realized that she'd scared it and felt like a flank-hole.

Fruit tried to crawl up to the bat softly, but it screeched at her and hopped away.

"Hey, little dude..." She tried again, "Sorry about my yelling at you, I didn't know what you were..." Fruit apologized, but the fruit bat just sat there and ignored her.

"But now that I know what you are," Fruit continued, "I think you're awesome!"

The fruit bat turned to Fruit and squeaked softly.

"Yeah, course I do, I mean, you're the same colors as my mane! That's so slaggin' cool! It's like we were meant for each other!"

The fruit bat perked up and jumped on Fruit's nose.

"Hey, what are you doing, you little scamp?" Fruit giggled as the bat went up her face and climbed into her thick, bushy mane.

"Hehehe....., alright, come on out now..."

The fruit bat climbed out of Fruit's mane, carrying a strawberry in its mouth.

"Found a little snack, did ya?" Fruit giggled some more. She trotted over to the couch and let the fruit bat jump off and began to nibble away at the strawberry.

"Aww.... You are soooooooo~ cute when your eating! You got a name little dude?"

The fruit bat responded with a sad little squeak.

"What? No name?!? I don't think I could of a anything worse!"

The fruit bat made another sad squeak.

"You know what, I'll think up a name for you! How does that sound?"

The fruit bat hopped and squeaked in delight.

"Okay then.... hmmm....." Fruit got to thinking of an awesome name for her new little buddy.

"How about...., Skyberry?"

The fruit bat shook its head.

"Kay, umm......, Ratbat?"

A bunch of angry squeaks were enough to tell Fruit what it thought.

"Okay, umm......." Fruit had to search deep into her imagination if she was to think of the perfect name.

"Hmmm..........AH! I got it!" Fruit jumped in the air, "Jinjo! What'dya think of that name?"

Fruit was met with happy squeaks and an excited fruit bat on her nose.

"I'll take that as a yes! Welcome aboard Jinjo!"

Jinjo yawned and climbed inside Fruit's mane to take a nap.

Fruit giggled, "Kay then, have a good sleep!" Fruit then realized, "There's no way Uncle and Auntie will let me keep him...." Fruit sighed, "I don't think I'll tell them yet...., least until I get on their better side..." Fruit giggled as she went down the stairs. She grabbed her banjo as she went back out side to play.

"Hmmm...., what to play....? I know! "Nightmare on Shaved Mountain!"

Candymare Can-Can

The time had finally come; the moment Fruit felt she had spent eons waiting for.... It had been too long...

She slowly lifted her hoof and wiped the sweat off her brow before carefully taking her first step into the blinding light of the outside. The sound of her hoof meeting the organic ground echoed in the ear of everypony outside. They drew their gaze towards the triumphant mare, and the stared at her hoof. The sound of that one hoofstep was a sound that would carry through the universe for all of time....

Squish.

Fruit giggled and took a few more steps outside.

Squish. Squish.

Fruit couldn't contain herself any longer, she exploded with laughter. The other ponies continued to eye the giggling mare and the strange objects she wore on her hooves. They looked like shoes of some sort, but the also looked like, bananas? Yes, bananas. Banana shoes. Fruit was wearing banana shoes. Her hooves squished and squashed as Fruit trotted by the townsponies, her smile ignorant of their mocking laughter.

"Why is she wearing those?"

"Isn't that Fruit Cake?"

"What's she doing out here?"

"Now what is that mare doing...?"

Fruit didn't hear the townsponies, but even if she did, she wouldn't care, she was having to much fun. Fruit was finally outside, and by Celestia, she's going to enjoy it.

Fruit, kept squishin' her way through Ponyville, drawing stares from everypony she passed. They muttered to each other and mocked Fruit.

"Squish, squish, squish!" Fruit giggled to the sound of her steps.

"Hi, Fruit!" It was the mailmare who had crashed through the roof a few days ago.

"Oh! Hiya....uh...."

"Derpy Hooves."

"Yeah, I was close..."

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted to say Ditzy Doo, hehe..."

The mailmare chuckled, "Well, you're actually right. My real name is Ditzy Doo, 'Derpy Hooves' is .... well.... kind of my 'in town' name..."

"I've got other names too," Fruit smiled, "Plenty of 'em, though most of them I probably shouldn't say.."

"What are those?" Ditzy pointed to the strange yellow shoes Fruit wore.

"Hehe, they're banana shoes! Squish, squish, squish!" Fruit giggled as she marched around the cross-eyed mailmare.

"But won't the bananas rot?" Ditzy asked.

"Yeah, but we had a surplus," Fruit smiled, "Well, catch'ya later Ditzy!" Fruit waved as she trotted off, squishing down the street. She passed by several other ponies, all of them baffled by her... unique hoofwear.

"Hiya, Cheerilee!" Fruit waved as she passed by the school teacher.

Cheerilee said nothing as the smiling mare squished by, only looking down at the origin of the squishing noise.

"A bit of advice," Fruit yelled back to Cheerilee, "You should proof-read your writing!" With that, Fruit giggled away leaving Cheerilee unbelievably puzzled and concerned.

Fruit finally arrived at the destination of her wondrous voyage. She stood in awe, gazing at the majesty of the divine chapel. The sun beamed down heavenly rays upon the grand monument, light bouncing off of the multi-colored rooftop.

"I have only heard legends of such alters..." Fruit mumbled, "But there it is..., the most wondrous place in all of the wide, world of Equestria and beyond..."

Ding-Ding! Some little colts walked out of the with bags of sugary treats.

"CANDY STORE!!" Fruit squeed and she ran into the shop as fast as she could, accidentally tripping on the mat, landing face-first on the floor.

"I should just walk into places...." Fruit picked herself up onto her hooves, and met the gaze of the owner of the shop.

"Can I help you...?" The mare who ran the candy shop asked as she eyed Fruit.

Fruit couldn't hear, she was blind from the magnificence of all the candy. She began to drool a little.

"Hey!"

"Uh, what?" Fruit snapped out of her sugar paradise.

"Are you going to buy something or drool on my floor?" The owner griped.

"Hehe..., sorry..." Fruit walked over to the counter, "I'm Fruit Cake! The Cakes here in Ponyville are my Aunt and Uncle!"

The store owner had seen Fruit at the party Pinkie threw and recognized her from there. She also remembered Fruit puking on some poor pony.

"What's your name?" Fruit asked.

"Why do you want to know? Aren't you just here for some candy?" The pink and blue-maned pony asked.

"Yeah..," Fruit smiled, " But I like meeting new ponies!"

The owner blushed a little before answering, "I'm Bon-Bon..."

"Nice to meet you!" Fruit held out her banana cover hoof, to the confusion of Bon-Bon.

"Um..., you do know you're wearing a... banana.. on your hoof...?"

"Yeah..." Fruit nodded.

Bon-Bon was bamboozled, but as to not be rude, she shook Fruit's hoof. It felt damp and dirty, and it made Bon-Bon's skin crawl up her arm and down her spine, but she kept smiling despite this.

"Nice to meet ya, Bon-Bon!" Fruit smiled away as she kept shaking with the owner.

"Likewise...." Bon-Bon winced her hoof starting to feel numb.

Fruit giggled and let release Bon-Bon's hoof from her banana grip.

"You've got an awesome job! Being surrounded by all this..... mmm.... candy...." Fruit began to drool again.

"Well, it's fun, I guess..." Bon-Bon said as she stared at Fruit who was spinning around the room, gazing at all the glorious delicacies. "Ummm... Ms.?"

"Ahhhh.... yeah..?" Fruit answered her and looked to where she was pointing on the floor, "Oops, sorry.. hehe..."

"Are you going to buy something?" Bon-Bon began to grow irritated with the banana shoed-mare drooling on her floor.

"Uhhh..... what do you all have?"

"Didn't you just spend the last some seconds looking, and drooling, at everything?"

"Yeah, but I was kinda distracted by their magnificence..." Fruit squeed.

Bon-Bon couldn't hurt her, that's against the law, but by Celestia she wanted to! "She's almost as bad as Lyra..." She thought to herself as she sighed into the counter.

"Ummm...." Fruit stood there waiting for Bon-Bon to lift her head off the counter, resisting the near uncontrollable urge to poke her.

"Yes...?" Bon-Bon muffled.

"What candy do you have?"

The stressed owner slowly lifted her head off the counter and stared at Fruit's smile with contempt. Fruit remained utterly oblivious to it though and kept smiling.

Bon-Bon sighed, "We have all kinds... take your pick..." She then thudded her face back on the counter hoping Fruit will just go away like a bad hangover, not that she's ever had one...

"Hmm..." Fruit walked around the shop, and looked at all the jars of candy, jars filled with gumballs, taffies, gums, and even, dare she even think it, licorice!

"Hmm.... What do you recommend, Bon-Bon?"

Bon-Bon groaned and raised her head again and glared at Fruit, "Why would you want my opinion?"

"Well, you are the owner of a candy shop, isn't that the job of a candymare?"

That was it. She couldn't stand it any longer. Bon-Bon slowly came over the counter and walked around the store picking up several jars of candy. She then put them on the counter and pulled out a baggie from the backroom. She then began to empty the jars into the baggie until it seemed about to burst. She picked it up, handed it to Fruit, and pushed her to the door.

"On the house. Come again." The 'Candymare' said in the most deadpan tone as she shove the banana shoe wearing mare out the door.

"Um...., thanks..." Fruit went on her way, squishing in her banana shoes carrying the nearly overflowing baggie.

Bon-Bon shut the door and slowing trotted to the counter and again, planted her face into the smooth, polished wood.

Her groan was muffled, "Way worse than Lyra..."

Author's Note

FINALLY!!

Fruit Shift

"This can't be real..."

Fruit sat at a table opposite her Aunt Cup, half-listening to what she's saying.

"Well it is Fruit dearie..." Mrs. Cake replied, "Your Uncle needs to go make another special delivery, and I have to take the twins to get their check-up. That's why we need you to watch the store."

"Sweet! You can totally count on me Auntie Cup!"

"Now, there are some orders in the back, and there'll be ponies coming by to pick them up, and I've labeled each box so you shouldn't get the orders mixed up, sand I've also-"

"Auntie! Relax!" Fruit interrupted, "I got this Auntie! Have some faith in me!"

Mrs. Cake sighed, "You're right Fruit..." She got up from the table and picked up Pound and Pumpkin, "Could you give me a hoof, Fruit dearie?"

Fruit smiled and got up to help her Aunt get the twins in the saddle-harness.

"Wheee! Hehe!" Fruit messed around with the two before getting them fastened. "They getting any...'pointis'?"

"A couple, yes..." Mrs. Cake whispered.

"Slag, I hate 'pointies', just ask my parents..."

"But if they're good, they'll be getting a special surprise."

"Nice! Oh! Oh! Can I get something? If I do an awesome job? Please?" Fruit fell to Mrs. Cake's hooves, "Pweeease?!?"

"We'll see Fruit..." Mrs. Cake smiled, "I better be off now, I'll be back at around dinner!"

"Bye Auntie! Be brave Pound, Pumpkin!"

The twins looked at each other oddly, wondering what she was talking about as Mrs. Cake went out the door.

"Okay then! Now what do I do?"

Fruit walked around to the other side of the counter and tapped the bell a couple times.

"Hmm... What to do...?"

Fruit climbed onto the counter and laid down on her back and looked at the ceiling. She stared at it for a minute until some squeaking came from her mane.

"Hehe.. hey Jinjo..."

Fruit reached into her mane and let Jinjo crawl onto her hoof. She pulled her out and held Jinjo above her face.

Fruit sighed, "Well..., it's just you and me Jinjo..."

Jinjo squeaked and nuzzled himself in his reddish pink wings.

"Heh... I guess you're right...."

Fruit thought for a second...

"Jinjo?"

Jinjo looked down at Fruit's face.

"Ya think it's weird that you're the same color as my mane?"

Jinjo opened his wings and compared his body to Fruit's mane.

"It even has the same pinkish patches. What's up with that?"

Jinjo shrugged a squeak. Fruit nodded.

"Yeah, it's probably just coincidence..., or maybe we were destined to be together...?"

Another shrug from Jinjo.

"Heh, yeah...." She gets up and off the counter, Jinjo still hanging off of her hoof, "Lets get a snack! I still have some candy that BonBon gave me left!"

Jinjo flew off and squeaked a bit by Fruit.

"I don't know why she just gave them to me, maybe I'm just an awesome pony! Hehehe..."

The duo went up to Fruit's room real quick and she got her candy and decided to get some other stuff before she went back down, specifically, her banjo and a couple of books. She shoved the books into her mane and carried her banjo and had Jinjo carry the candy.

Fruit came down to find a mint green pony with a light teal mane by the counter.

"Hi there!" Fruit greeted as she came up to her.

"Hey, um... are the Cakes home?"

"Yes, I'm Fruit Cake! I'm their niece!"

"Oh yeah, I heard about you from Bonnie. She's my best friend."

"Cool. So... uhhh.. you hear for your order I'm guessing?"

"Mm-hmm," The mare nodded, "It's Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings."

Fruit started to think of puppet surgery, but then saw Lyra's cutie mark.

"Oh..."

"Hmm?"

"Hehe...... nothing." Fruit giggled, "I'll go get your order."

Fruit put her banjo behind the counter and went to the kitchen.

There were three boxes with names on each one.

"I wonder which it is...?" Fruit sarcastically said to herself and giggled.

She grabbed the box with Lyra's name and brought it out to her.

"Lets see..." Fruit looked at a list Mrs. Cake gave her, "That will be... five bits!"

Lyra gets out her bits and pays.

"Thank you!" Lyra grabbed the box and went out the door.

"Sweet! I totally rocked that sale!" Fruit bounced around merrily and Jinjo cheered with happy squeaks. The two then celebrated with candy and soda.

Two hours later...

Fruit was now reading, a hobby of hers that anypony that would meet her would be surprised by.

"Aw...." She sighed, "That wasn't a very happy ending..."

She closed the book and shoved it into her mane, where her record, her toys, her banana shoes, her weird gemstone, her secret box, her banjo, and even her binkie when she was a foal!

Unlike anypony else who would be very interested after seeing her pull out her colossal record collection and then her record player out of her mane, Fruit never questioned how. It's been her personal storage unit ever since she was a young filly. Whenever somepony would ask her about it, Fruit just respond with an 'I dunno," and then ask where the sun and moon go when they're not in the sky. The conversation would then end and the other pony would never talks to her again.

Jinjo was eating some fruit-flavored candies, all except the licorice. Fruit snatched all of it away before he could eat it.

"All of licorice belong to us!"

Licorice is to Fruit as a ball of yarn is to a kitten. She loved licorice. It's her absolutely favorite candy and treat. Though someponies may say she loves licorice too much...

"Hello?"

Fruit looked and saw a pale yellow filly coming in the store. She was an older filly around thirteen and she was taller than most fillies. Her mane and tail were a cascade of blue and light blue, and her eyes were like windows looking out to the sea.

"Hey kid!"

The filly came up to the counter.

"I'm here to get my dad's order?"

Fruit wouldn't respond.

"Um.....?"

"Well?"

"Well what?

"Are you going to introduce yourself?"

The filly backed away a little.

"Why? I don't know you...?"

"That's why you introduce yourself silly!" Fruit smacked her forehead.

The filly smiled a bit; she thought Fruit was a bit weird, but not dangerous. So the filly decided to tell her.

"It's Shellsong..." The filly said, "My name's Shellsong, but my friends call me Shelly."

"See? Was that so super-hard now? Fruit Cake, at your service." She bows but hits her head on the counter, "Ow..."

"Hehe...., well, um, Ms. Fruit... I'm here to pick up an order for my dad, Blue Tides?"

"Yeah... ow...., I'll go get it... ow..." Fruit walked back into the kitchen, holding her head. She soon came back out with a medium sized box and set it on the counter.

"Okay then...., that's.... seven bits!"

Shellsong reached into her saddle-bag and took out the bits and gave them to Fruit, who managed to catch a look a Shelly's cutie mark.

"Hey, that's a cool cutie mark!" Fruit pointed to Shelly's flank.

"Hehe... thanks..."

Shellsong blushed and picked up the box.

"Bye!" Shellsong then left, leaving Fruit to wonder what her cutie mark meant.

Jinjo flew over to Fruit and landed of her mane.

"Hehe! You tired Jinjo?" Fruit giggled as Jinjo yawned.

Jinjo shook his head and squeaked lazily.

Oh, I see..." Fruit giggled, "You're just stuffed!"

Jinjo let out a little burp.

Fruit giggled again and reached into her mane and pulled out two odd little toys and started playing on the counter.

In only a few minutes, however, a purple stallion with a brownish mane with black tips walked in and saw Fruit's imagination at work.

"You'll never win Slimux!"

"Blearrgh! You can't stop me Death Hood!"

The stallion puzzled as he watched Fruit play with her two small plastic pony toys.

The "Death Hood" one was completely black and had a black hood on it, giving a slight show of a solid black horn.

The other, "Slimux," was green and looked like it was made of slime. It had somewhat sad-looking red eyes and had a curved horn.

Fruit was too into her play to notice the stallion walking up to the counter and tap the bell.

She jumped and noticed the stallion.

"Oh, hi!" Fruit smiled as she stuffed the toys back into her mane, "What can I do for you...?" Fruit looked at the list, "Mr. Historic, right?"

The stallion nodded slowly.

"Err...., yes..., Historic Knowledge..."

Fruit yawned.

"Tired?" He asked.

"Nah, that's just a reaction to anything related to history..." She yawned again, "See?"

"I suppose...?" Historic oddly raised his eyebrow.

"So, I'm guessing you here for your order then?" Fruit asked as she reached into her mane and pulled out the last box, which was around the size of her head.

".....................How did-?"

"Where does the sun go?" Fruit interrupted him.

Historic yawned and decided to just ignore it, considering the other odd pony who lived here...

"Yes... it's my order..." He takes and opens it, releasing a horrid smell to which he gagged.

Fruit's eyes watered up and she covered her nose.

"Peeeeeyeeew!!"

"Perfect..." Historic winced and then put the cover back on the box.

"Yeah... if you like sweaty socks that just hatched from rotten skunk eggs!" Fruit yelled, "Why the slag did you order something so slagging stinky?!?!"

Historic was trying to shake off the smell off.

"Well..., this... fine dish... is the only thing that attracts the Sluzard out of a friend of mine's house..."

"Sluz-whuh?"

"Imagine a large lizard with slug-like skin that consistently excretes a noxious sweat that-"

"Okay! Okay! I get it! Just stop! Stop!" Fruit yelled.

"Sorry...."

Jinjo crawled out of Fruit's mane to see what the screaming was about and was startled by Historic, who was leaning over the counter and looking at him.

"A fruit bat?! What an odd colorization, and is that fuzz? I've never seen a species like it!"

"Uhh.... okay...?"

Jinjo looked himself over again. Why were these ponies so up in hoof about his colors anyway?

"I've seen every single species of fruit bat from strawberry to kiwi, and I've never seen one like this..." Historic looked closer.

"Yeah... you said that..."

"It must be a new species!"

"Um....cool...?" Fruit just got more and more uncomfortable, "His name's Jinjo..."

Jinjo waved nervously, then retreated back into Fruit's mane with a flurry of squeaks.

"Fascinating..."

The clocktower's bell rung.

"Ah! I need to get going! Or the Sluzard will ruin the house!" Historic tosses a large bag of bits to Fruit and bolts out with his smelly box.

Fruit blinked twice and then got her toys back out and played.

"Fruit... Fruuuuuit.... Wake up Tooty Fruity..."

Fruit awoke to the sound of a familiar voice (She had fallen asleep).

"Hiya sleepy-pants!"

"Ughh.... who....?"

Fruit's groggy vision began to clear and she jumped and hugged the pony once she recognized the bouncing pink mare...

"PINKIE!!!"

Fruit hugged tightly, giving Pinkie a taste of her own hugs were like for others for a moment.

"Yeppereenie!" Pinkie smiled.

Mrs. Cake then came out of the kitchen.

"Hello Fruit."

"Auntie! Look who's back!" Fruit squeed and turned Pinkie to her.

"Yes dearie, she came and met me by the door just a few moments ago."

Fruit didn't hear, as she was hopping, smiling, bouncing and squeezing around the shop.

Pinkie smiled, "Hey Fruit. I got you these too!"

Fruit turned and her eyes widened when she saw what Pinkie was holding.

"Lets say they're your reward for doing such a good job watching the store..." Mrs. Cake smiled.

"These can't be real..." Fruit took them and put them on.

"I saw how much you liked it, so I asked my friend Rarity to make these for you!"

Fruit smiled and showed off her legs; each on had red cloth on them and a darker red swirl going around. She squeed.

"LICORICE SOCKS!!!!"

Author's Note

Historic Knowledge belongs to Samaru163.

Shellsong is one of my characters and she was a younger filly in Equestria's Pyre.

If you don't get the Death Hood and Slimux bit? That was an old story of mine. Just your daily dose of meta.

Market Madness Part 2

Fruit and the twins looked at each other for a good ten seconds before Fruit started to get bored.

"HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE!?"

She lied down for a little bit, and when she got to her hooves, the twins disappeared!

"AH! Where'd they go?!? Great, not even a minute and I lost them! UGH! Just like when I babysat for the neighbor's colt! Ugh..."

Fruit fell back and lied there, and when she did she saw Pound and Pumpkin at a stand that was selling pots.

"Oh no!" Fruit bolted over there to catch them, but the foals noticed her and dodged her. Fruit crashed into the stand, pots scattered , and the mare running the stand was furious. Fruit sat there with a pot on her head. "Ehhehe..., oops..."

Pound and Pumpkin were now at another stand, this one selling spices.

"No, no, no!" Fruit got up from the mess of clattering pots, continually stumbling and tripping over all the scattered kitchenware.

"Get back here!" The vendor mare shouted.

"Sorry!" Fruit yelled back as she galloped towards the spice stand.

Pound and Pumpkin were playing with the jars of spices when Fruit reached them.

"Got'cha!!"

Fruit again jumped in to catch them, but they flew away, causing Fruit to again, crash into the stand.

"Ow..., I need to think of a new strategy..."

Fruit had crashed into a cabinet of spices, breaking almost all of the jars, except one vial; it's lid had fallen of and it tipped over, dumping its super spicy contents into Fruit's mouth. Her eyes overflowed with water, and her mouth burned like it was on fire.

"AAhhhhhhhhhh!!!! SO SPICE!!"

Fruit began running around crazily, trying to find some form of liquid to cool her mouth.

"WATER! WATER! WATER!!!"

She kept running from stand to stand, trying to find some water, but she found none.

"I NEED WATER!! Ah, THERE!!"

Fruit found a barrel of what she thought was water with a faucet attached, and she immediately leaped over and began drinking from it, not seeing that it read 'cider' on the barrel.

She quickly drank all the contents (luckily the barrel wasn't even half full).

"Ahh...*Hic* much *Hic* better..."

Fruit tried to walk, but she was too tipsy and kept falling over.

"*Hic* When did the ground get so *Hic* bumpy? *Hic*"

"Fruit? What happened to you?"

Fruit turned, very dizzily, and saw Pinkie, carrying bags of the supplies they needed.

"Oh, *Hic* hiya, Pinkie *Hic* Pie...heh..."

"Where are Pound and Pumpkin?!"

"*Hic* I dunno... *Hic somewhere...heh *Hic*"

Pound and Pumpkin then appeared in front of Fruit.

"Oh, *Hic* there they *Hic* are..."

"Pound, Pumpkin, did you do this to Fruit?" Pinkie asked the two foals.

Pound and Pumpkin nodded sorrowfully.

"Hey, *Hic* don't be so *Hic* rough on them, *Hic* .....Pinkie, why are you blue? *Hic*"

Pinkie sighed, "Lets go, I got what we needed."

"*Hic* I am the overlord of pears...*Hic*"