"Greetings… another me. It’s nice to see you again through the mirror, Twilight."
Ah, it’s you! I’m so happy to see you again. It’s been a while since we last met, Twilight. Now that is a name I can say without thinking twice. There was only one time where the name didn’t match——he said his name was "Dusk Shine".
"It’s surprising you still remember me after so many years. You’ve grown so much that I barely recognize you."
Of course I remember you! Have you forgotten that we Twilights all have good memory? Besides, it’s hard to forget your trademark long neck.
"Pfft."
Your body type looks roughly the same as our Princess Celestia. Even your personality is similar! Elegant, serene and perceptive. And that subtle melancholy in your eyes. Honestly, I've seen many Twilights, but you are the most memorable one.
"So that’s how you see me... I used to be exactly like you a long time ago, but time has changed me so much—my appearance, my identity, everything about me. I can't even say what hasn't changed anymore."
Hey, it's not that bad. At least we have a lot of similar experiences.
"Hmm... you have a point. After all, we've both defeated Nightmare Moon."
You did it with the help of the Elements of Harmony if I'm not mistaken. Our Nightmare Moon was defeated solely by my tactics and teamwork with my friends.
"I also freed Star Swirl from limbo."
Our Star Swirl accidentally got himself trapped in limbo while researching alternate universes. And what surprised me the most is that time doesn't pass in that place, so he hasn't changed a bit in over a thousand years!
"That's the wonder of the universe. There are still many secrets yet to be revealed. Just like how I couldn’t understand Pinkie Pie in the past. Her 'Pinkie Sense' was always an enigma to me at the time."
Pinkie... She can always make us laugh. I can't even imagine what my life would be like without her. Of course, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack are just as important.
"Yeah... they are all our best friends."
Your life was roughly the same as mine up to this point. After the return of Star Swirl, however, we started to set on different paths. It was at this point that Princess Celestia noticed my talents in magic and asked Star Swirl to be my mentor.
"After the Nightmare Moon incident, I moved to Ponyville to study the magic of friendship with my friends. Together we shielded Equestria from evil forces and grew so much in the process."
I envy you. Princess Celestia has been my idol since I was a little filly. But when I expressed my wish to study under her wing, she recommended Star Swirl instead, as her focus was governing Equestria rather than teaching magic. Meanwhile, my classmate Sunset Shimmer, who yearned to demonstrate her talents in politics, became her student.
"Our Sunset Shimmer was blinded by her ambition and fled to the human world after taking a risky move. That was how I became Princess Celestia’s only student."
Upon knowing who would become my mentor, I was upset and even threw a tantrum in front of Princess Celestia. Since Star Swirl was once her mentor and idol, I eventually accepted him as my mentor, albeit reluctantly. Sometimes I feel like I could’ve achieved more if Celestia had picked me back then. Now, I'm just a regular student and nopony will ever know my name. Consequently, I'm gradually losing the drive to practice magic, finding the idea of going out with my friends more appealing.
"My aspiration was to study under Star Swirl, but I ended up as Princess Celestia's disciple while you, in contrast, went the opposite way. It appears that fate has its own designs for our desires."
But then you became the Princess of Friendship and eventually ruled over Equestria. In Rainbow Dash's words, you're 200% cooler than me! Becoming a bearer of the Elements AND a princess. Not to mention you've also vanquished so many villains… any of your achievements would be a triumph I can only dream of. Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to Princess Celestia. Then I could have challenged Sunset Shimmer to see who was the more fitting candidate to be her student."
"Twilight, you do not want my life. Especially when you see your friends aging and dying and you can't do anything about it. Anxiety and restlessness will consume you as the magic you've dedicated years to mastering proves ineffective against the passage of time."
Hmm… I've never encountered a problem that magic couldn't solve. Maybe you just haven't found the right spells yet.
"I've tried many, Twilight, including advanced spells like Life Reversion, Time Warp, and even dark magic that utilizes limbo… all to no avail. After several attempts, I realized that these spells could create nothing but illusions. Once the effects wore off, I was back to square one again."
This doesn't sound like something Twilight would do. Although my knowledge of you is limited, from what I understand about myself, I don't think you would give up this easily.
"The greatest resistance was never magic. It was the choice of my friends to leave with their loved ones. They refused to detach from the stream of life. Now come to think of it, perhaps they are wiser than me. At least they know that a wave's fate is to flow with the river and that water breaking against the shore is devoid of life. At the end of the day, I was nothing more than a stone in the river, capable of causing some splashes, but it would be foolish to think that the river of life could be stopped."
So, what has happened over these years…?
"My friends left me one by one. Rainbow Dash died in an accident, Fluttershy from lung cancer, and Rarity from a heart attack due to pressure. Pinkie Pie fell to her death while trying to save a baby yak from a cliff in Yakyakistan. Applejack, surrounded by her family, died of old age."
It's hard to imagine the pain you've been through! If I were to lose them, I would be devastated.
"During the time when my friends passed away, I was in a daze all day long. I can't remember how I got through that time. Whenever a friend died, I refused to attend their funeral because I was afraid I would cry myself unconscious in front of everypony. I could only bury myself in my work so as to endure the sorrow."
That sounds awful.
"But the ponies couldn't understand my pain. All they saw was my absence at my friends' funerals; they didn't see the grief in my heart. Soon rumors started to spread in small circles. In somepony’s eyes, my so-called 'friendship' was just a tool to gain power. I didn't address the rumors from the start because I trusted that my reputation and actions would speak for themselves. It wasn't until the rumors had spread far and wide that I realized I had made a grave mistake. But by then it was too late to do anything."
That's terrible. Did they refuse to listen to you no matter how you explained it, even though... you're a princess?
"Yes. All of a sudden, I was portrayed as an evil queen with vicious stories about how I snatched the throne from Celestia and Luna. Words quickly took root in the hearts of ponies, and they threatened to bring back the royal sisters to overthrow me. But since they stepped down from the throne, nopony has ever seen them again. Even I don't know where they've gone."
Maybe time can make ponies forget these things?
"But I didn't want to cower behind my throne just to maintain my rule. Therefore, I chose to relinquish power to prove my innocence. It was at this point that I finally understood why I couldn’t rule Equestria like the two princesses: the key is their tenacity. They are strong enough to let go of all the feelings and leave their loved ones behind, but I can’t."
So what did you do in the end…?
"I didn't pass the throne to anypony. I assigned Sandbar, my student, to set up a cabinet and institute a constitutional monarchy while I stayed away from politics."
I guess they had nothing to say about you this time, right? After all, you’ve sacrificed almost everything.
"But even concessions were not enough to soothe their anger. They claimed that the cabinet was secretly under my control. But as you said, time heals everything, including misunderstandings. Now some ponies even start to miss the period when I was in power."
In that case, perhaps it's not too bad for you after all?
"Initially, I did think that way. I felt relieved, convinced that I would have abundant time to study magic. But I didn't expect it to turn into another nightmare."
What happened?
"After stepping down from the throne, I became obsessed with magic. Alternate universes caught my interest. So, I invented this mirror to connect to other worlds."
My mirror is Star Swirl's life's work. He passed it on to me to study alternate universes. Currently, this is the only research that captivates me as I can meet other versions of myself.
"After that, I shut myself in my room, turning off all the lights and drifting through my days in a haze. At times I would find myself talking to the mirror and I often stayed inside for several days in a row. Seeing me act this way, Sandbar grew more and more concerned, but I told him I was fine. It didn't dispel his worries, though."
It sounds like you were in a bad state then.
"I can only see other versions of myself in this mirror. I want to see my friends again, even if they are probably not the same as mine. But it doesn’t even allow me to do that."
It seems like you still miss your old friends.
"Honestly speaking, after these years I’ve learned how to leave all that behind. Now, I just wish to see other Twilights."
I hope so.
“Everypony around me thought I was mad, but I brushed them off. Over time, however, I began to doubt myself: Are these other versions of me just reflections? Have I truly lost my sanity and I was simply talking to myself every day?”
I also often had this crazy assumption that the world I'm in is created by another being on another planet...
"The mirror also has its limitations. Only when two Twilights stand in front of the mirror at the same time can they connect. I want to see you again, but I can't predict when you'll be there. I've seen many other versions of me, but none of them are you."
Yeah, there are too many Twilights and even more worlds. Thousands upon thousands. How were these worlds formed in the first place?
"Time, much like a river, perpetually splits and merges, generating countless alternate universes in the process. Our choices can change the course of the future, leading to different worlds. In order to find you, I invented a coordinate system for different universes."
What’s that?
"Like I said, our decisions are what make these worlds split into different paths. So I chose my world as a fixed point, calculated different possibilities based on that, and then sorted them out by number. In theory, as long as I exhaust all the possibilities, I can find the coordinates of your world. But the problem is I know very little about your world and it’s near impossible to list all the possible outcomes as some random events might disturb the timeline."
Have you tried using probability theory? Math might help.
"I tried and it didn’t work. I've seen tens of thousands of myself. Sometimes the Twilight I meet is not even a mare. Remember, even the smallest change can transform a world entirely, just like how the flutter of a butterfly's wing could cause a hurricane across the world."
The butterfly effect? I still don’t fully buy into that idea.
"I have used this method to locate and even travel between many worlds through the mirror, but none of them are yours. Of course, I’ve also had many adventures: I have seen King Sombra fall in love with Princess Celestia; I have also witnessed the eternal night under the rule of the Nightmare Moon, where all plants withered, and ponies had to live on synthetic food. There was also a time when I was almost swallowed by a carnivorous flower..."
That’s too dangerous.
"The coordinate system didn’t work out. So I just sat in front of the mirror, waiting for you to appear as if wishing for my 'possible self' to come back to life again."
I'm sorry I didn't realize you were so obsessed with me. Over the years, I've mainly been spending time with my friends, and my research on alternate universes hasn’t progressed much. Star Swirl has scolded me for this many times, but I did nothing in response. I was causing you so much trouble.
"It's fine. It's just that my obsession got the better of me."
By the way, you mentioned "possible self". What does that mean?
"Each choice we make leads to a different possibility, and each possibility gives rise to a possible self. Every major decision we make in life sends the river of time into the 'waterfall of possibilities'—we cannot return upstream, and countless possible selves perish in this process."
What's the deal with alternate universes? Star Swirl told me to research this, but after so many years, I still don’t know how it works. I wrote down equations, page after page, and conducted experiments to test them. One time I nearly blew up this valuable mirror, but I still seem to be clueless about it.
"Don't try to solve it with equations. Try to feel it with your heart. Since I met you, I've been asking myself, 'What would happen if I were you?' Asking myself this question multiple times has been quite rewarding."
How so?
"After rescuing Star Swirl, I’ve yearned to change the status quo, to give up my princess status and become his student instead. But later I found that he is not as great as I imagined, and he also makes mistakes."
Of course. I always think that old unicorn can be quite stupid at times.
"Then I started to think 'If I were you, what would I think?' The answer is clear: I would be more than eager to abandon Star Swirl and become Celestia’s student."
Indeed.
"Similarly, your current life is what I once dreamt of."
Huh? You once wished to live my life?
"These years, I've felt like I've been living in a dream, until I met you. Although I'm still not sure if you're real, I'm willing to believe you exist in another world. I find it hard to resist this proposition: you seem like a completely different me, a version of me who can fulfill my old dream."
Why do you think that way?
"You remind me of my younger self. Back then, I longed to become a great wizard like Star Swirl. That desire was so intense that even now, thinking back on it still makes my heart race."
Just like how I feel when I mention Princess Celestia.
"Yes. Last time, when you mentioned Princess Celestia, the excitement on your face still left a deep impression on me."
I didn’t remember I was that much of a fangirl…
"Ever since I became Princess Celestia's student, I got caught up in her plans. Gradually, I realized I could no longer become a wizard as great as Star Swirl, so I chose to suppress that desire. I cried over the lost possibility on many nights. But your existence proved that my dream still lives on in other worlds."
But I'm not even good at what I’m supposed to do. Over the years, I haven't even figured out the subject of alternate universes, so how could I possibly be on the same level as Star Swirl?
"No, you have more potential than me. Everything I know about alternate universes comes from our brief conversation. You showed me that the possible self I once dreamed of isn't dead. It's still alive and constantly tormenting me."
What?!!
"I often think if Princess Celestia hadn’t become my mentor, I might not have had to endure the pain of watching my friends die before my eyes. But I also might never have met them, and that would be the greatest loss of my life."
That's very likely.
"And, if I hadn't made that choice, my dreams might have come true, but the world would have forever changed. Nightmare Moon, Discord, Tirek... any of them could have destroyed this world. In my battle with Starlight, I saw those terrifying results. So perhaps being a princess was meant for me."
But is it really worth it to sacrifice yourself for your world?
"I don't know. Sometimes timelines can break. There were moments when it was pitch black on the other side. At first, I thought there was something wrong with the mirror, but it turned out to work perfectly fine after some inspection. Then a terrifying idea appeared in my mind—perhaps that world had already been utterly destroyed, or maybe that world still existed at that time, but there were no ponies alive to use the mirror."
That's terrible...
"Anyway. Even though I’ve come to terms with my destiny, I still couldn't convince myself to accept the pony who I’ve become. So I recalled my childhood when my parents liked to tell me bedtime stories, many of which were about Star Swirl. Maybe they wanted me to look up to Star Swirl as a role model. I began to realize that my dream was planted by others, not by myself."
Now that I think about it, my dream also came from my parents...
"So I see myself as a mirror, reflecting the thoughts of others. Only when the mind betrays itself can the true self break free; only by turning the 'mirror' into 'light' can it illuminate the future for itself and the world. Just like today, I told you all this by chance. Maybe you are too young to understand what I’ve said, but perhaps one day these words will have a profound impact on your life."
Thank you! What you've said today is very valuable to me. Maybe in time, I will understand. But I still have one last question: You were risking your life to find me. For what? Just to share your understanding of life with me?
"I'm worried about you."
Me? Worried about me?
"Worried about your world breaking."
I don’t understand.
"You don't have the Elements to protect you. Plus, you didn’t seem so well during our last conversation. I was afraid you couldn’t handle the villains on your side. Besides, I haven't been able to contact you recently. The culmination of all these factors sends me a troubling signal that your world has already perished. Until just now, I was sobbing, thinking I might never see you again. But now it seems my sentiments were unnecessary."
Thank you. I'll be more careful in the future. Are there any other reasons?
"Thank you."
Why the sudden gratitude?
"Because you preserved my dream even though it wasn’t your intention. And you made me understand that the fading of the dream brings pain, yet it also signifies growth as a pony."
You think I can still become a great wizard like Star Swirl?
"You can be greater than him."
Wow, thank you! I’ve always felt that I wasn't a good student, that this life wasn't what I wanted. Honestly, after meeting you, I was a bit jealous of you, but I never thought that the life I'm living now is what you once dreamt of. Maybe I should really consider putting more efforts into studying magic. Not only for myself, but for you.
"Let dreams blossom, and let the true self illuminate the path ahead, no matter if it’s yours or mine."
Anyway, thank you so much for saying all this to me! Maybe you can't hear this, but Star Swirl is calling my name. Goodbye, longneck Twilight!
"Goodbye. Maybe we won’t meet again. Thank you for resolving what’s been weighing on my heart. It’s ironic that the Princess of Friendship learned a friendship lesson from you today, not the other way around. Friendship goes beyond mere presence; it's about the shared journey of change and growth. It’s time for me to look ahead and face the future."
