A Day In the Life: Welcome To Da Herd

by EStatic

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Sex, Discord, Slice of Life, Crossover, DJ P0N-3, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1813

A teenage superhero gets involved in a mess he should have nothing to do with.

A teenage superhero is unwittingly dragged into the My Little Pony world, courtesy of the recently freed Discord. Unable to return home on his own, he's forced to stay in Equestria and fight the King of Chaos. On the other hand, fighting Discord may be easier than dealing with day-to-day life in both Ponyville and Canterlot. At least if L-O-V-E has anything to do with it..... Part one of a potential miniseries.

Published 2012-10-10 20:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-10 20:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1: Welcome To Da Herd

(First Person POV)

Oh, good Lord... My body feels like it crashed twenty feet into the earth- Oh wait... It did.

Groaning, I force myself to stand up, despite my every bone in my body screaming in agony. Slowly, I start to climb up the wall of my body-shaped crater, wincing every time I moved up the wall. Most would give up at this point, but it takes a whole lot more than a bone-crushing fall to stop me. I've had lacerations, concussions, open fractures, and was even robbed of both my hearing and sight (albeit temporarily), yet I sill managed to keep kicking ass.

I probably make myself sound like a badass risk-taker, huh? Nope. I'm just an above-average seventeen-year-old named Vadell, who, as of right now, needs a chiropractor.

But enough about that, I wanna get to the point at hand: Where the hell am I?

I guess I'm about to find out. I can hear birds chirping and water flowing, so I can only assume that I landed in a forest. Just a
little further and I'll be able to see where I'm at. Just gotta keep my hooves moving-

Wait a second, hooves?

I take a second look at the spot where my left hand should've been. it's been replaced by a hoof covered in black and red fabric.

"Naw, this can't be happenin'," I say, with a chuckle of disbelief in my voice. "This ain't happenin'. There is no possible way this could be happenin'."

Well, if my newly acquired tail is any indication, this is happening. Somehow, through a freakish twist of fate, I've been turned into a horse. A horse, of all things!

I let out a sigh and try to calm down. I can only hope this is the least of my worries.
Just gotta keep climbin'...
________________________________________
Straight Outta Clopton
A My Little Pony/OC Crossover
Chapter 1: Welcome to the Herd
________________________________________
"Spike, I know you're desperate to go out with Rarity, but you've truly sunk to the depths this time!"

"How was I supposed to know her sister was gonna walk in her room?"

"That's not the point, Spike. The point is that you snuck into her room and tried to take pictures of her rear-end, you little pervert!"

"That's not true! ...Well, except for the sneaking into the room bit, but I wasn't trying to take shots of her flank! I might be a pervert, but even a pervert has his standards!"

"Very low standards..." Twilight Sparkle muttered under her breath. Ever since she moved to Ponyville, Spike, her baby dragon, kept trying to make moves on the town's resident fashion designer, Rarity. Some of Spike's previous attempts to woo Rarity were... questionable, but there were many times his schemes crossed the lines of acceptability.

"Spike, you've already earned the wrath of several people with your stunts. Be grateful Sweetie Belle didn't call the authorities when she saw you. Nevertheless, I'm not letting you outside the house today."

"Oh come on, Twi!" Spike moaned. "It was all a big misunderstanding. You gotta believe me!"

"I don't care," the unicorn replied deadpan. "Even if you didn't take the photos, what you did was illegal and could've gotten your chubby little butt thrown in jail if I hadn't of stepped in. You're staying inside, and that's final."

Spike started to say something, but let it go, knowing it wouldn't change anything. Instead he sighed, and retreated to his bedroom.

Twilight, on the other hand, was beginning to sort out the books in her library, humming a song as she went along. Ten months had passed since Discord's defeat, and all of Equestria was in a state of calm. Since then, things were fairly quiet around Ponyville, aside from the occasional Sonic Rainboom, courtesy of Rainbow Dash. Twilight had been spending most of her time trying to help the Cutie Mark Crusaders get on the right path to getting their cutie marks (and almost always failing in the process), and helping Fluttershy with her pets.

But today was a special day, because she and her friends were going to be honored by the princesses for their heroic efforts.

Twilight smiled as she remembered the very first time she came to Ponyville. She had no friends, aside from Spike, and was unable to socially interact with any of the other ponies.

However, when Nightmare Moon attacked Ponyville, she teamed up with five other ponies who would later reshape her life: Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and together, they used the elements of harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon, and restore order to Equestria.

Twilight's thoughts were soon interrupted by several loud knocks on her door. Quickly, she put the book she was levitating on the bookshelf, and ran towards the door.
________________________________________

Good God. I've only been walking for ten minutes, but every little step I take (You see what I did there?) causes me extreme pain. I'm not sure if it's from the fall or my body still getting used to being a horse. But I can't give up now. That trail of blood might be my ticket to getting out of this damned forest and finding the guy I'm looking for.

In case you're reading that last bit and are currently going "WTF," here's a bit of what happened prior to my transformation: Me and my partner were chasing this old guy across town. This guy was causing anarchy in spades, mostly though hypnotizing the people of the city. We were immune to his powers, though he kept giving us the slip every time we cornered him by teleporting.

Eventually- Ow! Damn rocks! Sheesh... Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, we managed to break the spell, and actually managed to get a few blows in as well. He tried to teleport again, and I tried to stop him with my powers. Unfortunately, this caused me to get teleported with him. So here I am... wherever the hell this place is.

But my situation isn't all bad. Not long after I got out of that hole, I found another crater twenty feet from where mine was, and it was stained with blood. So that means wherever this blood trail leads, my man will be there too.
I just hope I don’t pass out from exhaustion first…
________________________________________
“Princess Celestia!”

“Hello, Twilight.”

“What’re you doing here? I thought the ceremony wasn’t until later,” Twilight asked, surprised.

“There has been a…” the princess hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to break the information. “Change in plans, so to speak.”

Twilight was perplexed. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t explain it here. I need you to come up to Canterlot with me. Your friends are at my castle waiting.”

Now Twilight was even more confused as to what was going on. But the princess had a grim expression on her face, so she knew whatever was going on wasn’t good. So without another thought, she jumped into the royal carriage. After Celestia had boarded, the Pegasi controlling the carriage took of for Canterlot.
________________________________________
Yes! I finally found that son of a… Well, whatever the hell he is. I mean, he has the body of a dragon, but he also has the features of a horse, buck, and goat all put together like a horrible cross-stitch. Kinda reminds me of that movie I saw in English class… Anyway, it’s now or never.

Slowly, quietly, I start creeping up behind him, staying far enough so that he wouldn’t be able to detect my presence. It looks like he’s inspecting in wounds. Good, he shouldn’t spot me so long as I keep quiet.
I take a few more paces, careful not to make a lot of noise. Quickly, I take cover behind a nearby cluster of bushes. I can hear his voice loud and clear, and he doesn’t mince his words either.

“That annoying little jerk!” he says, clearly pissed. I still can’t believe he managed to undo my spell! To think a little snot-nosed kid who barley has a fraction of the power of mine managed to outsmart me, the King of Chaos!”

Little kid? Ha! I’m seventeen years old, and measure at around six-foot-two. I don’t think I would be considered “little.”

“He may have won the battle, but the war isn’t over yet. Oh-ho, it’s far from over. I may have failed in getting what I needed from his world, but that is only a minor failure in itself. If he thought he went though chaos this time, he has no idea what is in store next.” He laughs manically, like most crazy villains do.

I guess that’s my cue to hop into action.

“We’ll see about that, goat face!” I say as I emerge from the bushes.
My enemy whips himself around, likely stunned that I’m still breathing.

“Oh, my. Speak of the devil himself.” You can almost taste the sarcasm. “I must say, this new look of yours is a huge improvement over the last one.”

I smirk. “Can’t say the same about you,” I snarked.

That was enough to wipe that smug look on his face. Nevertheless he managed to keep his cool.

“That tongue of yours is going to be the end of you, one day,” He said in his usual trickster voice. “But considering that you managed to defeat me, who am I to say?”

Oh God, not with the rhymes again. Well two can play that game.

“I always chew bubble-gum and kick some mighty ass
So when anybody comes ay me, I put em straight to task
But once I’m all out, you better clear the streets
‘Cause I turn into a monster who can’t be beat
So don’t try to come at me sideways, or pull a sneak attack
‘Cause if you do, you’re guaranteed to be lying flat on your back.”

The look on his face was priceless. I wish I had my camera with me. It didn’t last long though.

“Big words for a small pony,” he sneered. “But of course, it means nothing if you can’t back it--“

I quickly cut him off with a kick to his jaw. He stumbles back from the force of the blow. I quickly make some distance between us. If I was still human, this would be a cinch. But with this new body, I’m at a sizable disadvantage.
My warning sense goes off again. My enemy lunges at me. I leap over him, and land on a nearby boulder. He starts snarling like a wild animal being hauled away in a cage.

I look up at him. His eyes are red from anger; steam was blowing out of his nose. He looked a deranged science project gone wrong. I merely smirk at him, unfazed.

“Is that the best you got, Discord?”