Inbound, OutboundView OnlineTen Minutes (Or More)Inbound, Outbound“Welcome aboard, madam! I am Nick, humble serf from the land of Shipping and Receiving, and ‘tis I so destined to be your chauffeur tonight.” “Oh goodness, Nick! What in the world is that tone?” “I’m showing you all due decor, Miss Diamanté.” “You don’t have to do all... that!” “Au contraire, mademoiselle. You are the most noble mare on the production floor.” “I am the only mare on the premises. And... was that Prench?” “French.” “You—” “Ah ah, buckle up, my dear lady! We are nine minutes long, now! We must away before—oh, you need help any with your seatbelt?” “I’m... fine! See? Dear me, life without levitation would be—AH!” “To Micky D’s!” “Hm.” “Mademoiselle...?” “...Hmph.” “Ha, okay. I’ll stop.” “Grand. Well, these Prench curls are a little saltier than I expected. And this meal is quite hearty. And the drink is... small, yet not.” “Well, you are a little lady.” “And with such little time. Your clock reads 10:27.” “Yeah... sorry. When I offered to drive you out for lunch, I really sort of meant that you eat it over the next seven hours. Or in an hour during, well, actual lunch.” “Oh.” “Comes with the night shift.” “...Quite. And it’s such a dreadfully long shift. I suppose... this will have to do.” “Mm... At least you seemed to be enjoying the ride.” “I was. It’s... the kind of experience I have been searching for on Earth.” “Really?” “In part. Perhaps next time, my thoughts will have settled on the experience.” “...Next time?”
The Horse Inside the CartView OnlineTen Minutes (Or More)The Horse Inside the Cart“Yes! Beat you! Who knew? Man beats hooves.” “You.. ah... ha... you are... a complete and utter brute, Mister Nick!” “What can I say? I’m just trying to give you some of the experiences you’ve been looking for!” “To walk ‘the floor’ is one path, to gallop across the rubble-ridden pavement is another!” “Gotta learn to love the asphalt, Diamanté.” “I abhor it.” “I can tell you love it. Flooring it!” “Nicholas!” “It was quieter tonight.” “Mm, yeah. Sunday. Back to jail tomorrow for the rest of ‘normal’ society.” “You don’t consider this normal?” “Absolutely not, Dia. Our shift is as abnormal as a unicorn pushing around carts in Assembly. We’re throwing away a lot of alignment with people outside of our schedule, and that’s that good chunk of society.” “...And I suppose you are one of the few to drive out at this hour.” “Eh, well, sane people go at lunch time. There are less options for eating out at that time, but I prefer the full thirty minutes for rest instead of driving.” “Mm. Quite. I imagine your ‘cars’ inside are a source of ire, as well.” “Hey, that’s why horses pull carts, while we drive ‘em.” “Pardon?”
Tired, Tired — Oh, and TiredView OnlineTen Minutes (Or More)Tired, Tired — Oh, and Tired“Nicholas, dear?” “Yeah, Dia?” “Get us out of here.” “Okay.” “...You can speed up. I can manage it.” “Alright.” “...That’s a big ‘ole sigh if I’ve ever heard one. A bit of a horsey noise. Neeeigh!” “Please don’t do that, dear.” “Didn’t mean to offend.” “Tsk. Stop that, you.” “Woah, I thought your hooves were a lot harder.” “Well, they were softer when I still worked in a boutique.” “Yeah, you’re a uh... ‘blue-collar mare’, now.” “That’s not a bad thing, is it, Nicholas?” “Not at all. I think it’s really great what you’re doing.” “Mmhm. It’s just so tiring with all the...” “Noise?” “Mm.” “You know, you could hang out with me during lunch. I just come back to the car. Better than the cafeteria.” “Really? Is it not uncomfortable?” “No. It’s quiet.” “...I think I’d rather like that.”
Light ReadingView OnlineTen Minutes (Or More)Light Reading“—I just work here!” “Oh, you are so silly.” “Says the mare putting herself through stress and workplace drama for the thrill of it.” “Oh, that’s just untrue! I am paid!” “Yeah! Spoken like a real employee of—!” “Nicholas! Inside voice, please.” “Aw, alright. You’re just a soft, sensitive thing.” “I think I have seen quite enough here to say that I am nowhere near as durable as you. And I still worry sick for us!” “C’mon, it’s just a few tons of steel between me and total—” “No swearing in the car!” “Fineee. I need to start trying to cut back on it again, anyways.” “...What motivates you to improve like that?” “Well, it keeps me from falling too deep in the hole, you know? Life can be a real pain in the...” “Plot.” “Yup, that! Which reminds me, I was reading some stuff about pony anatomy.” “Nicholas!” “What?” “Don’t play coy! I know your games, now. You’re a deviant and a scoundrel.” “No, hear me out! Look... This... is your fetlock.” “Mhm.” “Smooth and feathery. Your pastern, yeah? Your cannon... Up here, this pretty horn. This pretty mane. And this... pretty... face.” “...You are such a deviant.” “Never said I was normal, Diamanté.”
(He Delivers)View OnlineTen Minutes (Or More)(He Delivers)“Did you manage to sign up for Thursday?” “Yes, Nicholas.” “Alright, good. All this overtime lately is just killing me.” “There’ll be none of that while I’m here, sweetheart.” “...God, Dia. I can’t even be sarcastic with you anymore. What’ve you done to me?” “Fixed you.” “Yeah, right... love you.” “I love you, too.” “...Conveyor’s been a pieceee of work all night. Ow.” “Hush. No more work talk.” “Alright, alright, more about Equestria, then.” “Really? Here?” “Dia. There are only two things keeping my life bright right now. And it’s you, and you when you get into a never-ending barrage of anecdotes about Canterlot. You are the best thing to happen to me.” “Mm... you’re up there for me.” “Uh huh. Let me guess, the day you got your cutie mark?” “You know me so well, Nicholas.” “...At least you didn’t get a mark in fast food.” “Oh, don’t remind me! I still cannot believe you took me on a date with fast food!” “Hey, I cook for you, now! Plus, I didn’t know you expected it to be a date! You said you wanted an experience.” “Ah. Well, you delivered.” “Of course! What can I say? I’m a shipper.”
