I Remember...But I Don't Want To
Why Would You Want To Remember?
She was looking for glopaz crystals with her father like they always did on Wednesdays after her father was done for the day in The Crystal Tea Room. When her father was inspecting some crystals, explaining his secret about when glopaz crystals soak in the tea for a bit, they accentuate the flavor of the tea, she saw a bunnicorn and followed it to the wishing tree, though she didn't see the door. The door wasn't actually a part of her memories, but rather a premonition of the door she was to find that would help her find her family, even though she ended up using it to help Sparky.
She felt oddly drawn to the tree like it was calling her, but then she thought she felt somepony behind her. But when she turned around, nopony was there. But what she did see, however, was the mist. It was then she realized she couldn't see her father anymore and she felt as though there was something with her. Another presence hiding in the fog.
"Hello? Is anypony there?" She asked in her filly voice.
"Misty!" The voice who she now knew was her father called back.
"I'm right here!" She answered desperately to find her father.
"Misty! Come back!" Her father called again.
She tried to run in the direction of her father's voice but was cut off by a wisp of fog. She turned around and ran in the opposite direction, hoping to circle back. "Why can't they hear me?" Misty asked herself, beginning to panic.
She skidded to a stop when she saw more fog. She turned and high-tailed it in the other direction, only to stop just before another wall of fog. She wasn't sure why she was scared. She wasn't scared of anything. Cliff jumping. Fire eating. She'd done all of that without an ounce of fear. Her father always told her she was the bravest filly he knew. But for some reason she couldn't name, she was terrified of this fog.
It wasn't because the fog was thick or that she couldn't see through it, it was because, to her at least, it looked alive. Like it was a crowd of reaching hooves, trying to grab her. To hurt her. She had a feeling that despite how innocent and normal this fog looked, if she were to touch it, it'd hurt her. She didn't know how, and she was aware of how absurd it sounded, but she wasn't going to take that chance.
"Misty! Where are you?" She heard her father call again.
"I'm here!" She began running in different directions, but each time, she was cut off by the fog. Finally, the fog surrounded her on all sides, and it was growing ever closer. "Help me!"
She crouched down in a ball, as though that would make her invisible to the living fog. It closed in closer and closer, Misty sobbing the whole time. Then she saw a flash of purple light behind her eyelids.
She looked up, startled, to find the fog completely gone. But she also wasn't by the wishing tree in Bridlewood either. Actually, Misty didn't think she was in Bridlewood at all. She didn't know where she was, but it wasn't Bridlewood. She was on a hillside, a rocky cliff on one side, and a field of grass on the other.
"H-hello?" She called out, hoping somepony would hear and help her. But she had the feeling there wasn't anypony for miles. "Daddy!"
Suddenly, a purple unicorn with things on her back appeared in front of her in a puff of purple smoke. Misty swallowed nervously as the odd unicorn inspected her. Misty still lay on her tummy, ears flattening, using her hooves to push herself back. She'd never seen a pony so tall. This odd unicorn was even a couple of hoofsteps taller than her dad.
The tall purple unicorn smiled down at Misty, though it wasn't warm like her father's, but rather cold and sinister. "Yes. You will do nicely." The unicorn said to herself.
Then, the purple unicorn swept her up and unfurled the things on her back, taking off high into the sky. Misty's heart stopped as she realized what was happening. She now knew what those things on the unicorn's back were and what they were made of, though she dared not say it, even in her head.
She began to squirm in the cursed unicorn's hooves. She didn't care if this pony was trying to help her, she was bad news. And she didn't care if the odd unicorn dropped her and she plummeted to her death. Her father taught her well, and she had to get away from this mare before she cursed all of Bridlewood.
"Ugh, will you stop squirming?" The cursed unicorn growled. The unicorn then swerved a bit and dropped a little in altitude. "You're going to make me crash!" She yelled through gritted teeth.
"No!" Misty shouted back in her young filly voice. "You're jinxie!"
The mare gave her a confused look. "Jinxie?"
Who was this mare? Clearly, she was a unicorn, so how did she not know about the jinxies? Every unicorn in Bridlewood knew about the jinxies. Unless she wasn't from Bridlewood. Misty gasped at the other possibility. Or maybe she was jinxed. Maybe this was her curse. Adopting the very thing that the unicorns jinxed, causing the unicorns to outcast her to save the village. She said a bad word and this was her curse! Maybe a side effect of the curse was that she couldn't even remember what jinxies were, causing her to jinx other unsuspecting unicorns, wandering all by themselves, just like Misty!
"Those...those..." Misty tried to find a word for them that wasn't jinxed but came up empty. "Things on your back and what they're made of. They're jinxie, let me go!" Misty squirmed harder, but the mare's grasp merely tightened.
"You mean my wings and feathers? What are you on about? And what in the hay are jinxies?" The mare asked in disbelief.
Misty gasped and immediately stopped squirming at those words. Those were bad words. Obviously, she couldn't do the dance that warded off bad luck, since she was in the air and being held by the mare, but she could say the words. Her father always told her something was better than nothing. "Bing bong! Bing bong! Bing bong! Bing bong!"
"What are you doing now?" The mare asked incredulously, as though horrified.
"Warding off the bad luck. You said bad words. Jinxie words. Doing this wards off the curse." Misty explained. "Bing bong! Bing bong!" She started chanting again, hoping the extra chanting would make up for the lack of the dance.
The purple mare groaned. "Ugh, you unicorns have always been superstitious, but this is a whole new low."
Misty ignored the unicorn, only continuing her chanting. She was not going to be cursed because she was unable to do the dance.
The purple mare growled loudly. "Ugh, enough of your infernal CHANTING!" The mare yelled. "It's giving me a headache!"
The filly immediately shut up, cowering in the mysterious mare's hooves in fear. The mare stopped moving, simply flapping those things that shall not be named, hovering in the air. "Now, you listen here you insolent brat, I am your queen, Opaline Arcana! A fire alicorn! It is not wise to test a fire alicorn's patience! If I hear any more of this 'jinxie' nonsense, you won't have to worry about the stupid fake curses they bring because I will curse you right then and there and it will be real! Is that understood?"
Misty nodded quickly, her mouth clamped shut in fear. She didn't know why, but this Opaline scared her more than the jinxies. Maybe she was the jinxies reincarnated. Whatever it was, Misty felt that this fire alicorn possessed great power and she did not want to test it, lest she feel that power's wrath.
The two of them flew quite a distance until they reached an imposing dark castle on a cliffside. Opaline flew in through a window, into a massive room that had purple marble floors, a giant pool in the middle of the floor that sparkled and shined and was a little too still to be natural, and a huge chair that looked like a throne.
Was Opaline really a queen as she claimed? Misty's never seen a throne before, or royalty. And she'd never heard of the name Queen Opaline before. She very vaguely knew that the vicious pegasi were ruled by a royal family, and the smelly earth ponies had a system similar to Bridlewood's, but a tad less strict, mostly because they weren't the brightest crystals in the forest. Was she the pegasi's queen? She was definitely vicious enough. And she had those things on her back. It would also explain why she didn't know about the jinxies. But, then why did she have a horn on her head? She did say she was a fire alicorn. Was she the queen of fire? Or fire alicorns? Were there other fire alicorns?
Opaline landed in front of a large tree if it could be called that, Misty didn't notice before. It was growing along the wall, as though the castle was built around it. It looked dead, its bark brittle. It had barely had any leaves and the few leaves it did have were dried and broken. The roots were the healthiest-looking part, though that wasn't saying much. They looked ready to snap at the slightest touch, but at least they weren't as gray-looking as the rest of the tree.
Opaline held Misty out, as though as an offering to the dead-looking tree, before roughly setting Misty on her hooves in front of it. Misty glanced at the fire alicorn, who had her hooves crossed over her chest, hovering in the air, before turning around to face the tree.
She wasn't sure what Opaline wanted her to do, but she had a feeling something was supposed to happen. Still, though, everything remained as it was. She heard Opaline sigh irritatedly behind her, and Misty quickly racked her brain for something to do to make something—anything—happen. She didn't want to upset this fire alicorn who apparently held immense power.
So, desperate, Misty slowly walked up to the poor tree, sat down in front of it, and began stroking its roots. They felt frail and rough, so unlike the trees she saw in Briddlewood, and she knew from experience that this tree was sick.
She didn't know what to do. Did the fire alicorn expect her to heal it? In Bridlewood, if a tree got anywhere near this sick, which wasn't often, they'd set that part of the forest on fire, in hopes of burning and cleansing out the disease before it reached the other trees, only after asking the Great Mother for permission first. They did live in her forest after all, and if they made her unhappy, she could flush them out as they did with tree diseases.
Unicorns were taught to always treat the forest and nature within and around it with respect and care so they could continue living there. To use the environment as their home, to never take more than they need, and most importantly, to leave their forest more beautiful than when they got there, without being destructive to it.
Is that what Opaline wanted Misty to do? To burn the tree to free it from disease. Misty doubted that, but she didn't know what else the fire alicorn wanted from her. She glanced back at Opaline with fear-filled eyes, only to see the fire alicorn inspecting her with an observant look, like one was forced to study a frog they found gross. Misty stared back, confused.
Opaline then curled her upper lip and picked Misty up from the floor. Misty screamed, thrashing, trying to get out of Opaline's arms.
"Wait, I'll do what you want me to! I'll fix the tree!" Misty yelled desperately.
The fire alicorn simply rolled her eyes. "If you did what I wanted you to do, you would've done it by now. Though, I may have other uses for you." Opaline said to herself, almost thoughtfully.
"Just please, let me go home! I miss Daddy!" Misty screamed.
She just wanted to go back to Bridlewood, wherever that was, and find her Daddy. He'd make this mean alicorn go away. Ponies were sometimes scared of her Daddy, and when he wanted to, he could look very menacing. He'd scare the alicorn away and save her.
The purple fire alicorn pulled her close, and whispered in her ear, "You are home..."
Misty woke up with a start, gasping. Her breath was heavy, sweat covered her body. This wasn't the first time Misty woke up to having a nightmare while in the Brighthouse, but this one was by far the worst. Because this wasn't just any nightmare. It was a memory.
The day Misty went missing and Opaline found her was the second worst day of her life. The worst day of her life was the day she stole Sparky. Thank hoofness she stole Sparky at night. It wasn't until the next day her friends noticed Sparky was missing, the day she got her cutie mark, the best day of her life. Though stealing Sparky and getting her cutie mark were related in events, at least they weren't related by day.
But this memory had nothing good about it. The only reason she wanted to remember it in the first place was to find her family. And she did. She found her father, Alphabittle, owner of the Crystal Tea Room. But even her father never mentioned that day. It was an unspoken rule between them and one in all of Bridlewood. The closest a pony came to mentioning that day was by acknowledging the fact that she was filly-napped in the first place. And even that was pushing it.
It wasn't that she and her father were trying to pretend that the last decade with Opaline didn't exist. They both knew it did and that it happened. It was just now with Opaline defeated, there was no reason to bring it up. It only caused heartache and pain, so why mention it?
However, in this memory dream, she remembered more about that day, more about the memories she suppressed. However, it wasn't exactly she who suppressed them.
She shook her head. She didn't want to think about that. But, she couldn't exactly go back to sleep either. Despite defeating Opaline, she was still scared just thinking of her. But she knew if she lived with Opaline for over a decade and survived, she could face Allura with her friends. Though, that didn't mean she wanted to think about Opaline.
She climbed out of bed slowly, creeping through the bedroom. She looked at all her friends' beds, hoping she didn't wake any of them up, but found they were all still fast asleep. She crept down the ramp and into the kitchen for a cup of water.
Upon arriving, she froze in her tracks. Humming to herself in front of the stove with a tea kettle on it, and a teacup in her magic was a blue-maned lavender unicorn. There was a pile of tea leaves broken up into tiny pieces, and a glopaz crystal in the teacup.
Misty smiled a bit. She taught that little secret trick to Izzy. The same one her dad taught her, though she made Izzy swear up and down the unity crystals that she wouldn't tell another soul. It was a trade family secret. While she considered all five of her friends her family, including baby Sparky, It felt wrong to tell Sunny, Hitch, and the royal sisters. Izzy was a unicorn just like her, who loved to make tea, just like her. Call it prejudice or superstition, but Misty felt like telling anypony who wasn't a unicorn would make the trick go bad somehow like overripe fruit.
Still, it felt nice that Izzy took her trade secret to heart, and wasn't just pretending to be interested. Despite the unicorn insisting that she could taste the difference and that she would definitely make tea with a glopaz crystal in it, Misty doubted that Izzy meant what she said. So seeing her use it now made her feel that much better.
Izzy, seeming to sense Misty, turned around, gasping at first, but then broke into a large smile. "Oh, it's just you. I hope you don't mind I'm using your super secret glopaz recipe."
"No, of course not. That's why I showed you, but umm...what are you making?" Misty asked, walking up to the tea leaves and inspecting them. She didn't recognize them as an ingredient for any tea she knew of, but her father did tell her he still had a lot of teas to teach her about, despite already teaching her so many.
"I'm making unicorn sleepytime oo-oo—" Izzy made a snoring sound before continuing. "—long tea. It is sure to lull even the most wide-eyed pony to the gentlest shores of the snoozy ocean. You want some?"
"But, you were in bed just before I came down..." Misty trailed off, wondering why it looked like somepony was in her bed.
"Oh," Izzy blew through her lips, making a flapping sound as she waved a dismissive hoof. "That was Señor Butterscotch! I put him under the covers anytime I have to get out of bed in the middle of the night. It's jinxie to leave without saving your spot, you know?"
"Jinxie...right..."
Misty didn't know much about unicorn jinxies since Opaline never taught them to her. When she first heard about jinxies, she asked Opaline about them, but she just said they were some ridiculous defense tactic against her to keep her from stealing what belonged to her. Now, Misty knew better. She knew that jinxies were bad luck and that unicorns sometimes did rituals to ward them off.
"You remember the jinxies, right?" Izzy asked. "As a fellow unicorn who lived in Briddlewood, you had to know of the jinxies."
Misty sighed, sitting at the dining table. "I did, but when Opaline suppressed my memories, I forgot all about them. Now I only remember—"
She was interrupted by Izzy's loud, dramatic gasp. "Opaline suppressed your memories? How?"
Misty cringed, forgetting she never told her friends that part. She only remembered a couple of nights ago, when she had a dream that brought back the fragment. She's been having those lately. Memories in the form of dreams brought back fragmented memories of that day. She almost had the whole story now, despite wishing she didn't, though there were a couple of holes left. She supposed the side effects of Opaline's spell were finally wearing off. The dream Misty had a couple of nights ago flashed through her mind...
Misty lay in the bed Opaline created for her using magic. She was no longer scared of the jinxie words. Living with Opaline for a couple of weeks, away from home, without her father, in this small room was worse than any jinxie curse.
Misty heard hoofsteps against the stone floor of Opaline's dark castle, and she quickly jumped out of bed, made sure it was made, and quickly stood at attention in front of it. Not a second sooner, Misty heard the door unlock and it swung open, Opaline standing in the doorway. Misty gulped, the alicorn giving Misty chills.
Opaline smiled upon seeing Misty and her clean room and made bed. But this smile was calculated, evil, mean. "Good girl. You learn fast. I'm impressed, and believe me, I am not easily so."
"T-thank you, y-your majesty." Misty stuttered. She'd do anything to seem complacent, to gain the alicorn's trust. Anything to go home.
"Yes. I should be thanked." Opaline paused, looking at Misty closely, as though inspecting her. "I must leave lair for a bit. I won't be long. Thirty minutes tops. I expect you to be good. And to be here when I get back. Or believe me, there will be dire consequences. Is that understood?"
Misty looked at Opaline with wide eyes. "You're trusting me already?"
"Yes. Perhaps I am. You've been a good girl. However, the fact that you have to ask should inform how you act."
With that, Opaline walked away. Misty heard the castle doors open and close and then silence. A smile grew on her face. This was her chance. This was her time to escape. Briefly, she wondered if this was a test, but she couldn't let that hold her back. She might never get a chance like this again.
Quick as a flash, she burst out of her unlocked room and sprinted for the castle doors. As soon as she opened them, however, she saw Opaline standing on the other side, a disappointed look on her face.
"Pity. And here I thought you had real potential. Oh well. I suppose it was a mistake to think I could have a real apprentice. I guess I have no use for a misbehaved brat."
Misty scrambled backward, her hooves squeaking against the marbled throne room floor. "P-please! I-I won't tell anypony about you..."
"I know. Because you won't have a chance to." Opaline replied with a wicked smile, stepping closer to Misty, her horn flaring.
"P-please. I j-just want to go home! I miss Daddy!"
Opaline stopped, her smile growing wider. "Oh? Is that all? Is that why you tried to leave? Because you wanted to go home?" Opaline asked with fake concern.
Misty nodded vigorously, hope growing in her chest. "Please. Will you let me go home?"
Opaline's smile widened, her horn flaring. "I already told you...you are home..."
. . .
Misty slowly woke up in her bed, looking around her room blearily. What happened? She couldn't remember. She jumped off and slowly wobbled to the door, trying to open it. It was locked? Why?
Misty shut her eyes, trying to remember anything before she woke up. She remembered Opaline. The fire alicorn. The one who found her when she was lost and alone. She remembered Opaline telling her that she had to leave for a bit. She remembered trying to leave for some reason and then seeing Opaline on the other side of the door. She gasped. That's why her door was locked. She was being punished. Opaline tested her, and she failed.
Misty shook her head, banishing the awful memory. Misty hesitated before answering Izzy's question. "She used a spell. The spell was meant to make me forget my life before Opaline completely, but I guess in her weakened state, the spell didn't go right, and it only stressed them instead of erasing them." Tears beaded at the corners of Misty's eyes. "I guess that's the only way she thought she was going to get my undying loyalty. If I remembered only her and nothing else. Maybe that's why I was always so hesitant to do what she wanted. My memories were suppressed, not erased. Subconsciously, I guess I knew I belonged somewhere else."
Izzy walked over, her happy demeanor dimmed a bit, two teacups floating in her magic, a glopaz crystal in each of them. She set one in front of Misty, which warmed Misty's heart. Misty didn't remember answering Izzy's question about whether she wanted the unicorn oo-oo long whatever it's called tea, but Ozzy made one for her anyway, without a second thought. She wasn't used to being considered like that. In the lair, it was always Opaline first. Opaline only thought about herself and only considered Misty when it benefitted her. It was...nice. It was nice knowing ponies cared about her.
Izzy sat in front of her, with her own cup of tea, though she didn't sip from it yet, allowing the glopaz crystals to do their magic. "I hope I'm not crossing any lines by asking this, but...do you remember anything about that day? Besides going to the wishing tree and the fog and the hillside?"
Misty was silent before answering. "No, not at first. But after Opaline was defeated, I started remembering more. I think I remembered some of it before because my cutie mark magic combated some of Opaline's magic, but it couldn't fight the whole spell back, so it just unsuppressed the most important thing. My dad. But now with Opaline defeated and her spell wearing off, I'm starting to recall bits and pieces of that day. I can almost remember it all now, though I really don't want to."
"Why not?" Izzy asked.
Misty glared at Izzy. "Why do you think, Izzy? That was the day I was filly-napped! That was the day I was taken away from everything I knew and loved and forced to work as a servant for an evil alicorn! That was the day I lost everything I loved! My home! My dad! My memories! Would you want to remember a day like that?!"
Izzy shrunk back, surprised by Misty's outburst. Misty realized what she had done and immediately gave Izzy an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Izzy. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just tired and it's a lot to process and—"
"Yes."
Misty stopped, looking at Izzy, confused.
Upon seeing her look, Izzy clarified. "I would like to remember that day. I'd want to remember it and never forget it again."
Misty stared at Izzy with wide eyes for a long while, shocked by her answer.
"B-but...w-why?" Misty finally asked when she was able to speak. "W-why would you want to remember such a horrible day? A day where you were stripped of everything that was yours—your family, your personality, your identity—until all you have left that's yours is your name? Why would you want to remember that?"
Izzy was silent for a bit before continuing. "Because I'd want to remember everything that was stripped from me. Opaline took your memories because she thought that without them, you were weak. That without them, you'd just be a blank canvas she could paint anything on and there'd be no reason to fight against her."
"And that's exactly what I turned out to be..." Misty mumbled to herself, but Izzy heard.
"Maybe at first, but in the end, you proved her wrong. In the end, even without your memories, you grew into the pony you were meant to be. It just goes to show that your memories don't define you. You define yourself. You can be anypony you want to be. And no amount of magic or evil grumpy fire alicorns can change that."
"But I can still know that...without my memories."
"Maybe, but it's through the memories of that day that you can see how much you've really grown. The day Opaline filly-napped you, you were a helpless filly who had no choice but to fall victim to Opaline's manipulations. Now, you're a strong mare who stood against Opaline, despite years of torment, and inspired others to do the same. And, on top of it, you used your past to help inspire the ponies of Starlight Ridge to take a stand against Allura. That's an amazing growth. But, to see it properly, you have to remember where you started. The past doesn't define you, Misty, but it is a landmark of your life. Only through it can you truly understand how much you've changed and grown." Izzy looked down, her demeanor dampening even more. "Despite how much easier it would be to forget sometimes."
Misty looked at Izzy, really looked at her. It felt like Izzy wasn't just giving her well-intentioned advice. It felt like Izzy was speaking from experience. Misty didn't know much about Izzy's past in Bridlewood. None of them did. Yes, Izzy's friends knew what she missed about Bridlewood, but that was about it. Izzy didn't talk about herself much, and when she did it was because somepony asked her and even then she gave as short an answer as possible and then deflected with a question of her own, getting the other pony to talk about themselves. All Misty and the rest of her friends knew was that both of Izzy's parents died when she was barely sixteen.
Misty bit her lip. She didn't want to open any wounds for Izzy. She was just so sweet and happy, but at the same time, Misty wanted to know. She wanted to know why the bubbly unicorn could relate to her so much.
"You have memories you suppressed too, don't you?" Misty finally asked, sympathy filling her voice.
Izzy looked up at Misty, hesitating. She never told her friends about what happened when she was little. She didn't want them to think of her differently. She just wanted them to know her as thier happy, charismatic friend. But there was something different about Misty. She felt as though Misty would be able to relate. Like, despite knowing her past, she wouldn't think about her differently. That through their similar past, they could come together and become closer.
Finally, Izzy nodded. "Yeah. I do. Well, did. They're not suppressed anymore." Izzy paused, trying to make herself continue. While she did come to terms with the fact that it's important to remember, she still hated to talk about it.
Misty just stayed silent, taking the glopaz giving Izzy the time she needed to talk about it.
Izzy followed Misty's lead, also taking out the glopaz crystal. She took a sip if her tea, and continued. "When I was ten, somepony broke into our house. Typically, nopony would've been there. Both my parents would've been at work and I would've been at school. But I was sick with a fever so I stayed home and my mother was worried about me so she stayed home too. She worked as a waitress at the Crystal Tea Room. Alphabittle was a grumpy grump, but for some reason, when my mother called in because of me, he'd be super understanding. I guess I know why now."
Izzy looked up at Misty with a sad smile before continuing. "We couldn't see who it was but...there was a hole on thier back in thied clothes to expose thier wings...it was a pegasus. When I asked Alphabittle, years later, he always said he wasn't sure what a pegasus was doing out of Zephyr Hieghts, all the way in Bridlewood..."
Izzy trailed off, closing her eyes. Back when Izzy first met Sunny, Sunny didn't realize how hard and scary it was for Izzy to go to Zehpyr Height. But, if it meant she could get magic back, she had to be brave. But her fears were only confirmed when the pegasus now whom she knew as Zipp started chasing them. When Sunny couldn't climb to the top of the cliff, Izzy almost kept going, but she couldn't lose another pony she loved. When Zipp had finally revealed herself, at first, she was terrified. But then, she saw Zipp's sparkle. It was nothing like the sparkle of the pegasus that broke into her house. The one who broke into her house had a blood-red sparkle with bits of black in it. He felt so angry and empty at the same time. Zipp didn't have that sparkle. Hers was a sapphire blue, which told Izzy she was a protector, with flecks of brown, meaning she was courageous and supportive. That was good and that meant she could trust her. Every pegasus she came in contact with had positive sparkles, which made Izzy that much less scared of them.
But still, she was glad pegasi couldn't read sparkles, because if they could, they'd see that Izzy always felt a tiny bit on guard with pegasi, even around the royal sisters, her best friends. That was one reason why she never told Pipp, Zipp, or Sunny. Pipp and Zipp would feel guilty, even though they had nothing to do with that pegasus breaking in and they'd feel bad and avoid Izzy more in an attempt to make her feel more comfortable, and maybe even move out of the Brighthouse, which would make Izzy feel that much worse. And Sunny would just feel guilty for dragging her to Zephyr Heights in an attempt to bring back magic.
Pushing the thoughts out of her head, she continued her story...
I Remember...But I Don't Want To
That's What Friends Are For
"Mommy?" Izzy Moonbow called, rubbing her eye with her hoof. "I don't feel so good."
Izzy's mother, Lilac Moonbow, turned around from the stove to look at her daughter. One glance at her red face, runny nose, shivering body, and queasy look, and she knew her daughter was staying home.
"Shadow, honey. Can you get me the thermometer? I think Izzy has a fever."
"Aw..." Her father, Shadow Moonbow, started as he stood up from the table, put his mug down, and grabbed the thermometer from the medicine basket on top of the fridge. When he came back, he gave the thermometer to his wife and gently rubbed the top of Izzy's head. "Poor Izzy Kitty."
"I know. I don't think she's going to make it to school today." Lilac said, putting the thermometer in her daughter's mouth, who promptly spit it out. "Izzy!" Lilac admonished.
"But, Mommy, we were going to start this super cool art project at school during craft time today. I don't wanna miss it."
"Izzy Kitty, you're sick," Shadow reasoned as her mother picked up the thermometer and rinsed it under the sink. "If you go to school, you'll get other fillies and colts sick, then they'll have to miss fun things. Or, you'll get worse and you'll miss more things than if you just stayed home. I'm sorry."
Izzy looked down at the floor, sniffling, tears filling her eyes. "But...I was really looking forward to it, Daddy. I had so many ideas."
It was true. Ever since her teacher told her about it yesterday, she spent the rest of the day overflowing with ideas, thinking of different things she could unicycle for it. Ever since Izzy got her cutie mark, her parents rarely threw away anything except food. They usually gave it to their daughter so she could unicycle it. It broke their heart to see their bubbly daughter so sad.
Shadow glanced at his wife who was drying the thermometer and looking down at their daughter with sympathy. "Tell you what, Izzy Kitty. How about after work, I stop by the school and pick up the instructions and supplies for the project so you can work on it here at home, alright? Then you won't have to miss out."
Izzy's face brightened at that. "Oh, thank you, Daddy!" She threw herself at her dad, squeezing him as hard as she could. "Thank you thank you thank you!"
Shadow chuckled, hugging his daughter back. "Alright, be a good girl and let Mommy take your temperature."
Izzy let go of her father and stood still as Lilac put the thermometer back in her daughter's mouth. After a bit, the thermometer beeped and Lilac pulled it out, and read the temperature. Frowning, she showed it to Shadow, whose mouth twisted with worry.
"I'm going to stay home from work today to make—"
"No honey," Lilac interrupted her husband. "You need to go to work. I'll stay home."
"But what about—" Shadow started, clearly worried.
Lilac put a hoof on Shadow's chest. "Alphabittle will understand. He's always been lenient when it comes to Izzy. Ever since...you know..." Lilac trailed off, not sure how to word it in front of her sensitive daughter.
But Shadow seemed to understand. "Alright, honey. If you're sure." Shadow kissed his wife's forehead.
"Ever since what Mommy?" Izzy asked, looking at her mother with curiosity.
"Nothing. Say goodbye to your father, Izzy Kitty. I need to go call Alphabittle."
Lilac kissed her husband for the last time, grabbed her phone, and left the room to call Alphabittle.
* * *
"...now, the crystals the unicorn found were powerful crystals. You could leave a message inside of them, but they could only be seen with a spell from a unicorn horn. The unicorn, in order to find the mare he loved, began leaving a trail of messages in these crystals, in hopes that she would stumble—"
CRASH!
Lilac stopped mid-sentence in Izzy's favorite Briddlewood legend, her ears perking up. She glanced at the door of her daughter's bedroom. She slowly stood up, never taking her eyes off the open door.
"What was that, Mommy?"
"I...I don't know..."
"Is it Daddy?" Izzy asked. She gasped with a smile. "Maybe he came home early so I could work on my art project!" She started to climb out of bed when her mother put out a hoof to stop her.
"I don't think so, honey. Stay here and—"
CRASH!
"COME OUT, YOU COWARDLY UNICORNS!" A stallion's voice called out.
"Mommy? Who is that?" Izzy asked, looking at her mother with fear in her eyes, her heart racing.
"I don't know honey..." Lilac trailed off as she slowly started walking towards the door, the floor slightly creaking beneath her. She cringed every time it creaked, but she continued, undeterred. "Stay there, okay Izzy Kitty?
She glanced back at Izzy giving her a small, comforting smile. Izzy nodded, still looking at her mother with fear.
CRASH!
Lilac continued her pace, not letting the crashes startle her into running and giving away her and her daughter's location. She finally reached the door and slowly and softly closed it silently. She stood there, thinking, not sure what to do.
CRASH!
That last crash seemed to make up her mind. Locking the door may give away what room they were in, but judging by the amount of crashing and the rate of it, the intruder was going to destroy the whole house in an attempt to find them. The locked door may hold them off long enough for help to come.
Lilac quickly locked the door, slowly walking back to the bed where her daughter was waiting, squeezing her favorite stuffed animal. Izzy was shaking. All the crashing and her mother's alert reaction scared Izzy to the bone. She knew that whoever was in their house was not welcome and she had a feeling that if they knew she and her mother were up there, they'd hurt them.
Lilac gently grabbed her daughter's face with her hooves, making a shaky Izzy look at her. Tears were running down Izzy's face as she looked up at her mother, who wore another small comforting smile, but Izzy could see deep in her mother's eyes that she was scared.
"Izzy, baby, I need you to listen to me. I need you to be very quiet. Even when you hear pounding on the door, I need you to not make a sound, alright? Can you do that for Mommy?"
Izzy nodded. "I'm scared, Mommy," Izzy whispered, her voice cracking with fear.
"I know, baby. But Mommy won't let anypony hurt you. I promise. But I need you to promise something for me in return, can you do that?"
Izzy nodded, desperate to help her mother.
Lilac swallowed, took a deep breath, and forced the most comforting smile she could muster, desperate to be strong for her baby. "I need you to never lose that amazing smile of yours. Because, I promise you, your smile and creativity are going to light up the world, so don't ever lose it, okay."
"I won't, Mommy. I promise!" Izzy exclaimed in a whisper, smiling back, which warmed Lilac's heart.
"That's my good Izzy Kitty."
Lilac hugged her daughter as tight as she could without hurting her. Izzy hugged her mother back for what would be the last time. Then, still enveloping her daughter, she began to sing in her daughter's ear her lullaby in a whisper.
🎵The shadows may gather, doubts may creep in
But your smile's a promise, a light from within🎵
CRASH!
Lilac hugged her daughter tighter, singing closer to her ear as Izzy began shaking more vigorously. Tears were streaming down Lilac's face, but she continued to sing in hopes of comforting her daughter.
🎵You carry a flame that no storm can extinguish
A strength that inspires, a love that can flourish🎵
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Izzy could hear the banging of hoofsteps as the intruder climbed up the stairs. She hugged her mother tighter, whimpering in her mother's chest, trying her best to be quiet. Her mother's voice quieted but didn't stop, her soft voice comforting Izzy like a warm blanket, making her feel a little safer. Her mother leaned down closer to Izzy's ear so she could hear her clearly, and still be unheard outside of the room as Lilac rocked her daughter back and forth in a tight embrace.
🎵You're the firefly in the night, a beacon so bold
You're the sunrise breaking through, a story to be told
You're the laughter in the rain, the warmth in the cold
You light up the world, your spirit unfolds🎵
CRASH!!
This crash could be heard from the direction of Lilac's and Shadow's room. Lilac blinked back tears, wishing Shadow was here, wishing she never convinced him to go to work. Wishing she went to work instead. Shadow would be able to protect Izzy. He wouldn't be sitting in their daughter's room, helplessly singing her a lullaby to comfort her. He'd beat that intruder to next Tuesday. He wouldn't be stupid enough to leave his phone on the kitchen counter downstairs like she did. She hated how helpless she felt. All she could do was remain strong for her daughter.
So, still singing, she put her daughter on her back and walked to the corner farthest from the door, determined to finish the lullaby if this was going to be the last time she was going to sing it to her daughter. Just the thought of it made tears well in her eyes, but she blinked them back, determined to show her daughter that she'd be okay, even though she was scared shitless. Lilac had a feeling she wasn't coming out of this alive and though it broke her heart at the thought of not seeing her daughter grow up into the beautiful mare she knew she'd become, it'd be all worth it if her daughter mad it out of here alive.
🎵So let your light shine, let it fill every space
Let it conquer the darkness, let it bring grace...🎵
Lilac paused as she set Izzy down in the corner, waiting for Izzy to sing her line. They could both hear the intruder coming to Izzy's room, but Lilac continued to smile warmly, staring at Izzy, waiting for Izzy to sing her line.
Izzy was silent for a moment, tears filling her eyes, her heart racing, but she began singing in a whisper, already starting to feel a little better at her familiar lullaby.
🎵Let it spread like wildfire, a love that's unbound
For I'll light up the world, a joy to be found🎵
As Izzy continued to sing in a whisper, Lilac joined in, making a mother-daughter duet.
🎵You're the firefly in the night, a beacon so bold
You're the sunrise breaking through, a story to be told
You're the laughter in the rain, the warmth in the cold
You light up the world, your spirit unfolds🎵
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Izzy stopped when she heard banging on the bedroom door, looking at Lilac with wide, fear-filled eyes. Lilac kept singing the final line, knowing this would be Izzy's last memory of her...
🎵So let your light shine; let it fill every space...🎵
Izzy then sang her last line
🎵My smile's a promise; one nothing can take🎵
Lilac squeezed Izzy's hooves in her own, whispering, "I love you, Izzy Kitty. Don't ever forget that. I love you with all my heart, more than life itself."
"I love you too, Mommy," Izzy whispered back.
"When Mommy tells you to run, you run. Don't look back. Just run to the Crystal Tea Room and get Alphabittle. No matter what you hear, no matter what you see, just keep running and don't look back. You understand?"
"What about you, Mommy" Izzy asked, worry filly her voice.
"Mommy will be okay," It wasn't really a lie, Lilac thought to herself. If Izzy got out of here alive, everything would be okay. "I need you to promise me."
"I promise, Mommy."
Lilac gave her daughter one last smile, kissing her daughter on the forehead before turning around and walking to the center of the room. She stood tall on shaking hooves, allowing one tear to fall before blinking the rest back. She faced the banging door as it flew open, a stallion with dark blue eyes wearing all black, anger and disgust clear in his eyes standing behind it.
"There you are, you little bitch," He said in a dangerously low voice.
"Look, I don't know what we did to make you upset, but please, don't do anything drastic. Let's talk this out. Please. Don't ruin your whole life from one mistake." Lilac pleaded.
"There ain't nothin' to talk about."
The intruder took a step closer and Lilac's eyes flicked to his back. Wings. He was a pegasus. Lilac knew there was no reasoning with the deranged pony. This was a hate crime and that's all there was to it. But she'd sure as hell make sure her daughter was getting out of here.
"Then please, if you have to hurt somepony, hurt me. Just spare my daughter, please. She doesn't deserve this. She's just a filly."
"Oh, don't worry. Ain't nopony gettin' outta this alive..." He said with a wicked smile.
Lilac closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, gathering any ounce of courage she had. "Then so be it."
With a battle cry, she leaped at the stallion, catching him off guard, which allowed her to tackle him to the ground. "RUN IZZY! RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!" Lilac screamed at her daughter.
Terrified, Izzy stood up and galloped as fast as her little legs could carry her, past the fighting pair. "I'll come back with help, Mommy! Don't worry!" Izzy promised.
She ran out of the room, not daring to slow down to figure out where she was going. She tripped over her hooves and fell down the stairs. She yelped and cried, but miraculously made it to the bottom with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises. She stood up, wobbling a bit before bolting towards the broken down door and all the way to Alphabittle's...
"...As soon as Alphabittle saw me, he dropped everything and asked what happened. When I told him somepony was in our house trying to hurt Mommy, he gathered every unicorn in the tea room and led them to our house. But, they were too late. The intruder had already left and Mom was..." Izzy trailed off, unable to say it out loud.
Tears filled Misty's eyes, hurting for what her friend went through at such a young age. "Izzy...I'm so sorry..."
But Izzy continued, just wanting to get it all out as soon as possible. "When they told me what happened, I fainted. When I woke up a couple of hours later, I asked where Mom was. I had forgotten the entire afternoon. My dad thought it'd be better that way. Even if not remembering prevented me from giving a statement about what I could remember about the intruder. He thought that my mind suppressing it was a clear sign my psyche couldn't handle it right now and that I'd remember when I was ready. The problem was..."
"You'd never be ready to remember such a horrible thing," Misty finished, understanding first hoof what that was like.
"Yeah. My father died when I was sixteen. From brain cancer. I remembered that day the day of his funeral. It...it hit me all at once, in a jumbled mess...none of it made sense. I had to go to therapy to get it all sorted out."
Izzy paused, brushing away tears from her eyes. She took another sip of her tea, before continuing, though, she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to go to sleep right after reliving this particular memory. She pushed the cup of tea away from her. "A year before...that day...I got Sunny's lantern. With the note that said I had friends in Maretimd Bay. She said that one day, I was going to meet those friends, she just knew it.
"But, when I forgot that afternoon, I had also forgotten my promise to her. I had started to lose my smile and my creativity. Remembering what happened, I realized that Mom didn't sacrifice herself for me so I could spend the rest of my life sad and depressed in my bed. She sacrificed herself so that I can light up the world with my smile." Izzy smiled sadly a bit before it dissipated. "I think when she made me promise that, I think a part of her knew that only one of us was making it out, and she had already decided who it was going to be..."
Izzy trailed off, just looking down at the table she and Misty were sitting at. She blinked back tears, then looked at Izzy in the eyes, who also had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Losing Mom like that...it was the worst day of my life. But...had I not remembered it, I wouldn't have remembered my promise to Mom. It wouldn't have given me the motivation to spread light to Equestria, starting with the friends I had in Maretime Bay. I probably wouldn't have met Sunny who gave me the courage to go to Zephyr Heights. I wouldn't have met Pipp and Zipp or Hitch." Izzy put her hoof under Misty's chin and gently made Misty look Izzy in the eye. "And I wouldn't have met you."
Misty was silent for a moment, smiling up at Izzy through her tears. Her smile faded as another thought came to mind. "But...how do you not let it consume you? How do you..." Misty trailed off, trusting Izzy to understand what Misty couldn't put into words.
"It's an important balance. And a hard line to walk. Let the past influence you. Let it be a marker of how much you've grown and changed. But don't let it become you. Don't let it define you. You are more than the sum of your pasty. You're Misty Brightdawn, and she can be anypony you want her to be!" Izzy exclaimed with a smile, before yawning. "Well, three sips of magic tea and I'm getting pretty sleepy-eyed. That tea works wonders. I bet it's stronger because of that glopaz crystal. Welp, goodnight Misty. Sleep good and don't let the bunny-fuzzies get you."
Misty looked at Izzy with a confused look. "Bunny-fuzzies?"
Izzy shrugged. "That's what Mom called them." She said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, before continuing to walk to the ramp.
"Hey, Izzy?" Misty asked, a small sad smile on her face. Izzy turned around to face Misty, waiting for her to continue. "Thanks. For confiding in me. About your past, I mean. And...thanks for the advice. It really helped."
And it really did. Misty realized that even with that horrible memory and that horrible experience, Izzy was able to still be her happy bubbly self, despite it. She realized that if Izzy wasn't going to let what that intruder took from her consume her life, despite remembering it, Misty wouldn't let Opaline do the same. And that's exactly what Misty would be letting Opaline do if she forgot the day she was filly-napped.
Izzy smiled back, "Of course, Misty. That's what friends are for," before turning around and heading up the ramp to bed.
Author's Note
WHEW!
That was a rough chapter...had to take a couple of dog therapy sessions through that one.
Okay, so I originally meant for this story to ve E content...but then the second chapter came around and knocked that plan off the ground because this chapter is clearly not E content 
In all seriousness though, Misty and Izzy are my favorite characters because, we know next to nothing about their past, especially Izzy. And while I definitely didn't intend for it to get that dark 
, I think it came out pretty good. But, tell me what you think.
Anyway, on that depressing note, have a good start to your summer vacation and I will post whenever I can
FYI: My computer broke, blame my puppy, so I'm writing all these stories on my phone while I save up for a new one so excuse any grammatical errors since writing on a phone is not easy, and updates on 'You' might be slow since it is a pain in the ass trying to bold the yous on a phone. At least until I save up for a new computer.
