“I don’t see what’s so important about forcin’ Twi to go on dates,” Applejack cut in flatly. “She doesn’t need to date anypony. I never dated anypony, an’ I’m right content, so can you go back to readin’ that magazine already?”

Silence fell upon the table like death.

Rarity’s eye twitched.

“Oh, noooo,” Pinkie wailed, collapsing into her seat and sliding to the floor.

Twilight facehoofed.

“Applejack,” Rarity whispered, deceptively soft, an edge of danger to her tone that she’d carefully honed over the years, after many customer clashes and Blueblood-esque encounters. “You’ve never been on a date? Not even once?”

In which everypony's love life is a travesty.