A Relationship Referee

by BlazenWolf2019

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 2390

A Referee for relationships… it's needed and Rarity will take on this responsibility.

Rarity is picky, judgemental and quite frankly, annoyed about some of the relationships and shippings going around in Equestria. She has taken it upon herself to save relationships or break them up!

Published 2024-06-25 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-25 00:20:01 UTC

The First of Many!

Spread the word: the time is now for action, for judgment, for a saviour to save or break the bond between a couple or friends. That saviour — in her practically designed pink attire — is Rarity Belle, a certified relationship referee! You won't see her coming or even know she is there, hidden in plain sight or in the shadows, waiting and watching. When she pounces, retribution or a breakup will be decided! So for those who have done wrong in a relationship, look over your shoulder and pray to Celestia’s cake-filled belly that she doesn't find you.

On a still, romantic night in Canterlot, where the scent of love and the whisper of sweethearts mingled in a dance in the crisp air, especially for two figures. In a rich, pristine restaurant near the castle gates sat a couple, a very popular couple in the Equestrian media. Ponies loved them, adored them, and idolized them for being the perfect lovers in royal history.

Two agent-like bodyguards stood at a table in the middle of the restaurant, surveying the area with caution, ready to fend off superfans of Princess Twilight Sparkle and her stallion and personal guard, Flash Sentry. Flash Sparkle! Wait… that sounds wrong… Twilight Sentry! Oh no, that sounds even worse… Yeah, let’s just carry on with the narrative.

Twilight Sparkle, wearing a navy blue royal dress, her lavender, half-lit eyes were lost in Flash’s dreamy blue eyes, seeing a future, a path of happiness. They had been together for years, but every time she saw him, his strong physique, his heartfelt smile, and his tender words, it made Twilight Sparkle fall in love all over again.

“Twilight, you're staring again.” Flash Sentry teased, clad in a sharp black suit, making Twilight’s eyes shoot open in realization, a faint blush on her cheeks. Flash let out a chuckle, seeing Twilight’s reaction. “You're precious.”

“Stop, you're going to get the paparazzi worked up.” It was too late, however, as a bunch of clicks from cameras and a series of ‘Awws’ echoed beside their table, where a crowd of pony journalists and fans were held back by the security guards, their stoic faces never breaking. Flash couldn’t help but laugh at his beloved, seeing Twilight hide her flushed face with a hoof from the mob of fangirls.

“We love you!” a couple of mares screamed, holding a large banner showing the faces of Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry kissing. Flash Sentry, seeing the fans, gave a wave, making them squeal like schoolgirls, one of them fainting dramatically. Playing with it, Flash Sentry grinned a one-sided grin, finishing off with a wink, causing the two other mares to faint. Twilight just rolled her eyes, a knowing grin on her face.

Finally, the dishes arrived for Twilight and Flash, the smell delicious and the appearance unique. Twilight had the Canterlot Royal Quiche dish, and Flash had the Sunday Special Spaghetti. The camera clicks intensified, the meals now gaining fame, most likely going to become popular after tonight, probably to be renamed after the royal couple.

Flash was about to dig in, ready to stuff his face, but he noticed that Twilight had a small frown, looking down at her meal. He knew what it was and couldn’t help but feel responsible. It was the hundreds of eyes, from the smallest whispers to the loudest screams of attention, being crowded constantly, hearing her name over and over again. Flash did not help much with that. He was the kind of stallion to soak up the fame, to egg on the crowd of fans, to feel the love. Twilight, however, was the opposite. She preferred to be in a small crowd, a crowd of six maybe, but she wore a calm mask in the bigger crowds. But this, it was too much. Not on her birthday.

Flash reached out a hoof, placing his on hers, making Twilight look up. “I’m sorry for how this date is going, I know you wanted it to be just you and me.” Flash began, giving her an understanding grin. “But I’ll make it up to you, I’ll take you somewhere quiet, where it’ll just be you and me. I’ll make it a special night for you.”

“Flash… Do you mean it?” Twilight said, her eyes lighting up.

“I do. Come here, babe.” Flash smiled, leaning over the table which Twilight followed suit, their faces getting closer, their blushes intensifying, their eyes closed, their mouths opening slightly to prepare for a simple but loving kiss.

However…

‘FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!’

“STOP RIGHT THERE, DARLINGS!”

The sound of an ear-splitting whistle and a graceful voice broke through the noise, freezing the kiss millimeters away from each other’s lips. The room was now silent, everypony still, everypony’s eyes glued to the mare in an oddly pink referee shirt and shorts, wearing darker shade of pink long socks with pink boots, so pink that Twilight almost mistook the elegant mare for Pinkie Pie. The white-furred unicorn with a perfectly curved purple mane and sky-blue eyes stood on her hind hooves, gracefully posing while holding a red card high in one hoof and a black whistle hanging around her neck. The mare had appeared out of nowhere on the opposite side of the crowd, where no guards were waiting.

It only took Twilight a second to know who it was. “Rarity!?!?!? What in Celestia are you—”

‘FWEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!’

“Red card! Single and lonely! Three-month—”

“Step back from the princess!” the guard bellowed, cutting off Rarity’s speech, trotting forward to block Rarity from Twilight. However, his mistake was putting a hoof on her newly designed work.

“OFF THE JERSEY!” And with that, Rarity was no longer a referee as the bodyguard’s hoof made contact, but a black belt in taekwondo. She took his hoof with one hoof and slung it into the large stallion, and with all her strength and magic included, threw the stallion over her shoulder and onto his back, knocking the wind out of him. Rarity coolly brushed herself off, tutting at the bodyguard. “Never touch a lady’s exquisite design.” Rarity said with indifference, brushing her mane slightly, leaving the bodyguard with whistles dancing around his head dizzily. The other guard, seeing his comrade taken down easily, charged, planning to avenge his friend.

“STOOOOOP!!” Twilight demanded, stopping the bodyguard in place before things got out of hoof. “Rarity, what are you doing? Why are you here?” Twilight asked, visibly upset and confused by her friend butting in.

“Yeah, why did you—”

‘FWEEEEEEEEEEET!’

Rarity blew her whistle again, cutting Flash Sentry off. “Why, I’m glad you asked, Twilight. You see, I’m here to break this relationship up, darling.”

A series of ‘boos’ rang out suddenly from everypony in the restaurant, but Rarity didn’t waver in what she said. She firmly held her position.

“You can’t do that!” Twilight challenged, her eyes narrowing. Rarity met Twilight’s glare with a glare of her own.

“Can too!” Rarity bounced back, scrunching up her snout.

“Absolutely not!” Twilight retorted in defiance, her wings unfurling slightly.

“Absolutely!” Rarity said quickly, stepping in closer to Twilight to assert dominance.

“Nope!” Twilight said, also leaning forward, not one to be pushed over even if it was by one of her friends.

“Yep!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh!”

“Ladies, ladies! Calm down and let’s—”

‘FWEEEEEEEEEEET!’

“That’s it, yellow card!” Rarity barked, swiftly pulling out a yellow card above her head towards Twilight with feminine theatrics. Twilight recoiled at the sudden card of warning, sputtering as the crowd behind her booed at the card given. “Get another yellow card and I’ll make sure Pinkie Pie gives you a lecture on the difference between a stone and a rock!” That threat shut Twilight up real quick, her eyes wide and cold sweat running down her face.

“Sorry for interrupting—whatever this is—but what exactly is going on, Miss Rarity? Why are you trying to ruin our relationship?” Flash said politely, making Rarity and Twilight turn to him. Rarity smiled, happy that somepony finally brought it up.

“I’m happy you asked, dear Flashy Do-dar!” Rarity said with a wry smile, invading Flash’s personal space, and making his calm smile break into a nervous one. “But before I tell you that, there is one thing I have to make clear.”

With agility, Rarity stood on her hind hooves, did a little twirl, and once again brandished the red card toward Flash Sentry, her posture magnificent. “Red card! Single and lonely! Three-month ban from any romantic relationship!” Rarity exclaimed, a rehearsed order clearly practised. Flash raised a brow at the dazzling display, grasping what Rarity uttered.

“Rarity! You can’t just turn up like a referee — on my birthday, no less — and split up my relationship! That’s not right! You should be ashamed of yourself!” Twilight scolded, making the crowd shout similar phrases. Rarity just rolled her eyes, glancing over to Twilight with a ‘really…’ look. But Rarity quickly flashed a confident smile, replacing the red card with an entirely different type of card with her magic.

“This, my dear friend, is a license, but not just any license — a relationship refereeing license.” Rarity announced, dumbfounding Twilight as she got a closer look, reading the details of the license, the expiry date, examining the photo taken of Rarity, the laws written on it, the image of her cutie mark printed. But the thing that made Twilight gasp was the name that issued Rarity this license…

“Princess Cadence!?”

“That’s right! The Princess of Love has given me the authority to judge and decide on each and every relationship in Equestria!” Rarity declared, her confident grin turning into a devious smirk.

“No… No way! This has to be fake! If not, there’s no way Celestia would approve of this! It's inhumane!” Twilight panicked, getting even closer to the card, looking for any sign of it being fake.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head over it, dear. There are laws in place to ensure the stability of authority and yada, yada, yada, you get the drift. And yes, Princess Celestia did approve of this licensing because, and I quote — ‘Sure! But only on two conditions, the first condition being very important. The first condition is… Can you get me a fudge cake? Yes? Brilliant!’”

“Damn it, Celestia…”

“‘As for the second condition, you must cast judgment on the relationship between Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry. You have my blessing to investigate.’ And I have done just that.” Rarity explained, making Twilight’s eyes turn to pinpricks, feeling betrayed.

“But why…? Why would she say that?” Twilight said, her mind scrambled.

That’s when Rarity turned to Flash Sentry, who was now wide-eyed, visibly sweating and trembling. He knew that Rarity knew. Rarity frowned, taking no pleasure in what she was about to reveal. From her shorts pocket, Rarity used her magic to slip out a folded piece of paper, placing it on the table between the couple. Twilight looked at it with a mixture of confusion and dread while Flash froze, his face a rave of sweat droplets. Flash reached out his hoof to swipe the piece of paper, but Twilight’s magic was faster, grabbing it in the nick of time, Flash’s hoof slamming into the wooden table.

Rarity remained silent, she was the referee after all, and couldn’t interfere with what happened next. Twilight looked at Flash for a moment, seeing his usually calm demeanor break into a nervous mess of sweat. That scared Twilight greatly.

“Twilight, baby… I—uhh.” Flash stumbled over his words, making Twilight furrow her brows. Flash never stumbled over his words. All over this? This folded paper?

The room was silent, more silent than a room with no customers. Everypony watched and listened, their hearts pounding. The journalists forgot they had cameras in their hooves as they observed with fascination, fans stuck in time, the intense moment washing over them as if watching an epilogue to a favorite book. Even the bodyguard who was K.O.'d was biting his hooves.

Twilight unfolded the paper and stared. It was a picture of Flash, but Flash wasn’t alone. He was with another mare, a mare she knew. Twilight Velvet, and for PG reasons, I cannot describe what they were doing in bed.

There were three stages of Twilight Sparkle: She processed the image in her mind as she let the photo fall to the ground, the picture forever engraved in her mind. Then there was denial, looking between Rarity and Flash on a loop, waiting for one of them to tell her that this was some twisted joke of theirs that they both made up on her birthday, but that never came. Then, realization dawned on her as she stared at Flash, a blank look on her face.

“Flash… You… WITH MY MOTHER!” Yeah, Twilight was so diabolically furious that she skipped a few words. Flash didn’t have time to react as Twilight used her magic to pick up her glass of wine and chuck the liquid in his face, making the crowd gasp in shock. “We are done!” Twilight hissed, a dark undertone in her voice as she slapped him hard enough to be the slap world champion, snapping his head the other way before storming out of the restaurant doors. From outside, a sudden magical discharge blasted the windows inwards as Twilight screamed, her wings spread out and her eyes ablaze. With one powerful flap of her wings, Twilight flew up into the night, leaving the aftermath in her wake.

The room was still, in shocked awe at what had just happened. However, Rarity was satisfied. Rarity didn’t trot two steps forward toward the stunned Flash before slapping him with practiced ease, snapping his head the other way, both of his cheeks now red. “If I find that you are having a romantic relationship with anypony during your three-month ban, you’ll pay a fine of 10,000 bits. Do you understand?” Rarity asked, raising her brow. Flash just nodded weakly, too stunned to speak. “Good, now with that cleared up…” Rarity, following in Twilight’s hoofsteps, picked up his glass of wine with her telekinesis and poured it over his head. Rarity didn’t stop there, however, as she picked up his spaghetti and walked away, twirling the fork in the dish. “…have a good night.”