So…the Foal Free Press is having a contest to see which Ponyville resident can submit the best piece of writing which is exactly one thousand words long. Just one thousand words, that can’t be too hard, right?
Wrong.
I’ve been sitting here for three days straight, wracking my brain for ideas, nervously eating strawberry after strawberry after strawberry smoothie, and nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
The deadline is almost here. Just a couple more days now. Derpy stopped by yesterday to ask if my story was done. She finished hers a week ago and has been hoping to read mine; I foolishly promised her a while ago that she could be a beta. “Not done yet!” I told her yesterday with a nervous smile. Not done at all.
I don’t know why I’m getting so hung up on this; of course Twilight’s going to win. If she submits a story, that is.
I hope she submits a story!
Wait, does AK Yearling live in Ponyville? I don’t think so, but I guess she might be another contender…
Oh, fiddlesticks. I’ve got to get something down. Anything. “Write what you know,” that’s what they say, right?
So…the Foal Free Press is…
And with that, I’ve got about two hundred words now. Just under eight hundred to go. If I submit this, that is. Should I submit this? Hmm…
Oh, why not? I’m not likely to get anything else done at this point, and maybe they’ll appreciate the audacity?
But I’ve still got to pad things out somehow. What else do I know? Um…strawberries. Right. Did you know that strawberries aren’t technically berries at all? It’s true. In fact, they’re actually…
…wait. I promised my therapist I’d try to stop talking about strawberries so much. “It’s becoming an obsession,” she said. “Use moderation,” she said. So what if I try to steer every single conversation I join toward the ideal growing conditions for strawberries in northern Equestria? Everypony could use a little more strawberry knowledge; maybe then they’d realize how much better than apples they really are. Surely Twilight would agree, at least with respect to knowledge if not the apple comment, right? I love sTraWberrIes. But so be it. I suppose I’ll hold off for now.
Um…so what else to write about? Buckball? No, I don’t know much about that. Never really been much into sports, though Derpy did drag me along to a boffyball match once. Most boring three hours of my life, but she seemed to love it. I wonder what Twilight thinks about sports.
But let’s see…well...lovely weather we’re having. Nice and sunny, but not too hot. However many bits the weather pegasi are making, they should double it. It’s absolutely perfect for growing stra…uh…uh…rutabagas. Great for growing…uh…rutabagas. I assume. Everypony loves a good rutabaga! Right.
As you might have guessed, I’m using a ThoughtScribe quill. ThoughtScribe quills take down your thoughts as you think them, but give them a more organized structure. They even have a bit of a memory buffer in case you realize that you want to get something down after you’ve already thought it! You know that part of the text above which repeats the beginning in italics? That’s when I activated the memory buffer so the quill would jot down everything up to that point. The page had been blank until then. You might think this doesn’t even count as writing, but lots of writers do it - usually for a first draft, not the final one, but still…And I checked the rules; it’s allowed.
Twilight was the one who recommended the quill to me. She always has good recommendations, and not just for books. Though I suppose as a writing tool, the quill was “book-adjacent,” so that could make sense enough regardless. She was the one who first turned me on to the Daring Do series.
❤️ She was the one who first turned me on. ❤️
Wait, did I just…um, strike that. Anyway, uh…the weather…
❤️ Was it her smile? Her confidence? Her encyclopedic knowledge of botany or the way her flank swayed when… ❤️
Strike that!
❤️ I WANT TO HAVE TWILIGHT’S FOALS ❤️
So…um…that’s the downside of ThoughtScribe quills…they can, uh…malfunction. Yes. Well, I guess I’m going to have to…start…over…now. I’ll just skip down a bit on the scroll, and…
Alright. Time to get going on this new piece of writing that definitely isn’t a second draft that I started after scrapping a previous draft on account of secret romantic feelings being accidentally expressed. So..the Foal Free Press is…
“The Foal Free Press is closing in three minutes!” Derpy shouts, bursting into my house. “Hurry! Where’s your story? I’ll bring it there for you!” Of course ThoughtScribe quills transcribe dialogue; after all, your mind has to process it as it happens.
I look up in shock. “Wait, what? But the deadline is…” I start to say.
“Today!” Derpy says. “There was a cider smudge on the contest flier - it’s not the 18th; it’s the 16th! Is that it?” She points at the scroll.
“Yes. I mean no. I mean…it’s not done!” I say.
“Don’t worry! That’s a ThoughtScribe quill, right? Its range is…maybe a quarter mile? And the FFP is just a little farther than that. You can finish while I fly it there!” she says, taking both the scroll and the quill.
“I…I…” I stammer, suddenly finding myself unable to get any TWILIGHT’S GOING TO SEE IT words out.
“You’re welcome!” she calls, and she flies out the door.
“No, wait! I…” She’s gone. There’s no way this wins, but they might still publish all the TWILIGHT’S GOING TO KNOW entries. All the entries…all the entries…that…that…meet the requirements, right? They’ll probably use a spell to count the words and then throw out anything with too many without even reading it! That’s it! How many words was I at? Oh, it doesn’t matter; Derpy could be out of range any second. Here goes…strawberries strawberries strawberries TWILIGHT strawberries strawberries TWILIGHT strawberries TWILIGH-
