More than This

More than This

by Damocles23

Chapter Two: What I could gain

Fancy Pants’ club has a touch of old fashioned class, while still managing to look modern. Everything about the place and it’s atmosphere is modeled to dull the sense with its semblance of decadent luxury: the loud, almost tacky mahogany interiors, the golden spotlights and refinements, the primordial pounding of basses and drums of the orchestra coursing and beating trough chests and veins, sounds of ponies talking and laughing inhibited while abandoning themselves to every pleasure money and Fate has to offer them, without guilt or conscience.

Tiara and Spoon’s private table is confined to an angle of the hall, isolated from all the ruckus and confusion. Explicitly demanded by Tiara, of course. The thought of her and her adorable, little Spoony mixed in with the common rubble? No way in Tartarus!

A stallion arrives and escorts them to their table, leaving without another word the moment they arrive.

Spoon holds the chair for Tiara, while sporting a goofy smile. She waits for her to sit, at which the pink mare answers with a delighted giggle and snuggles into her seat. Tiara takes her time in making herself comfortable, entertained by the surprising politeness she had been shown the day before.

Tiara rudely gestures to a nearby waiter to bring some drinks, not even looking in the eyes of the young colt. She notes Spoon’s uneasy shrugging and her unsuccessful attempts to avoid her eyes. She seems to scrutinize her with the utmost attention while Tiara just wants to hear whatever she has to say.

“Are you okay?” they ask almost in unison, Spoon just a millisecond later. They both let out an embarrassed giggle that lasts even less.

“You first!” Their voices are still synchronized “Nonono, I said you…”

“How are you holding up?” Spoon finally manages to say something independently, taking a tentative sip from the just arrived drink. She gasps and sours her lips. “Isn’t this stuff a bit too…strong?”

Tiara holds a hoof to her chest in mock surprise. “Oooohhh, want me to order some milk? No, wait! Let’s take it a step further: water. Crystalline water right from the mountains of…”

“Ok, ok, I’ll drink it! Sheesh…” she takes another sip, grimacing even more and spitting her tongue out. A snorting giggle escapes from Tiara and Spoon looks on, amused

“A smile, finally. If I have to get drunk to make you smile again, well . . . I can live with that.” She rolls her eyes.

“Wonderful! Waiter!” Tiara signals to the same colt.

“Wait, you don’t mean-”

“What? You’re taking it back now?” Tiara interrupts, glaring at Spoon with an arrogant smirk.

Spoon doesn’t fail to notice it, answering with a relieved sigh. “You’re joking!” A small drop of sweat crosses her brow followed by a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, I still remember how to joke you know. And to answer your question…I don’t.”

“Huh?”

“I’m not ‘holding up.’ I falter, day after day.” A dismal look is written on her eyes.

“It’s hard, isn’t it? Sorry if I’m always asking you the same question but…”

“No, no. It’s fine. It’s not something that you could understand anyways. Nopony could ever hope to understand. What he meant for me…After she got away, me and Daddy drew closer than ever before. Except for you and him, I had almost nopony to talk to.”

“What about Ap-”

A glare from Tiara silences her. The smouldering gaze pierces her very soul and withers her throat, causing Spoon to reach for the vengeful liquor.

“Don’t bring her up. Just don’t!”

“I won’t, I won’t…” An embarrassed silence follows, filled only by the music and the hoofsteps of the same unicorn waiter Tiara had gestured before. He scurries in between the tables, levitating a tray full of drinks before him.

“I can’t look myself at the mirror anymore” Tiara blurts out, letting her mind wander after the first thought that emerges from the depths of her mind. “Nopony is there to recognize me as Diamond Tiara. Nopony notices the little spoiled filly has grown. After all, I am spoiled. Aren’t I?” Tiara knocks back another drink.

Spoon listens in silence, and leans closer towards her friend.

“There was one day I woke up earlier than usual, and I found myself in my parent’s... my father’s bed. Alone, wrapped in cold sheets and still with a dumb glimmer of hope that at least Daddy would be there to say good morning with a smile and pat my head. I was exhausted that night, for Celestia’s sake. I probably didn’t realize because I was so tired from yelling at my servants…”

“Why?”

“I can’t remember right now...mostly because they’re stupid. So stupid, in fact, that nopony was home this morning. Lousy slouches. Just because your employer isn’t there anymore doesn’t mean you can take a vacation! After all, I’m the boss now. They work for me! Probably the most productive thing I’ve done all day was that cold shower, so at least I could feel something. Anything!”

Spoon grabs her hoof lying on the table and holds it firmly. Tiara’s pulse races as the effects of the alcohol flushes her her cheeks red. Maybe it’s Spoon’s gesture or an odd combination of both.

Equine touch.

She hadn’t realized how much she had longed for it... How much she had longed for her touch since that day. Spoon is the one constant in her life that never changes; she always bring joy and comfort to her life, asking nothing in return except for her company.

She is the beacon that nurtures and consoles her during those dark days. Even if the whole world stood against her, Spoon wouldn’t.

She would never leave her alone or let her fall into the dark corners the light can’t touch...

Spoon sits up in her chair. “You’re not seeing anypony else? What are you doing these days?”

Tiara takes her drink and holds the glass in midair, swirling it. “I already told you. I falter...But not so much now that I’ve started seeing you again. The only pony I’ve spoken to in the past few days is you. It’s just like I said the other day. I’m alone,“ she gulps down the whole glass, “except for you. You make me steadier.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Just like old times.” They clink their glasses together and exchange a warm smile.

“You’re my only friend…That’s the one thing I would never change!” Tiara’s smile gets wider and more sincere than before. She had guessed right: seeing Spoon was just the medicine she needed. “But enough about me. It’s nice of you to keep me company and I don’t want to depress you! How are you holding up?”

“The same stuff, really. Trying to finish my studies, keeping an eye on old friends...”

“That’s it?” she cocks an eyebrow, disappointed, “Uhm...Maybe I wasn’t being clear enough...Isn’t there a special somepony yet?”

Spoon’s face darkens into a solid shade of crimson and she starts to babble, turning into an incoherent mess. “W-What...I mean...Yes...I mean, no!”

“Well that’s one comprehensive answer. Let’s start from the basis: does he exists?” She stifles a little laugh.

“Of course she exists.”

“Ooohhh...She! Dear, little Spoony has grown up and became a fillyfooler! How cute!” Tiara collapses into an inelegant, shrieking laughter on the table. “Do I know her?” she asks between chortles.

“Well, you could say that, sure. But I know it’s not the right moment to tell her. She’s one difficult pony to deal with and i know I’m getting just one chance with her. If I screw this up, If I say the wrong thing at the wrong time...But I care about her as much as I care for you. Which is a lot by the way.”

Aaawwww...Aren’t you the sweetest thing!

“Wow! She seems a real pain...No offense.”

“I wouldn’t say that. She’s...unique. That’s it. One very unique pony that just needs to be understood. It’s just the way she is and I wouldn’t have her any other way.”

“Well, she still sounds like a pain to me. No offense, though. If you like her, fine, but I always thought that ponies need to be as straightforward as possible. If she likes you, she shouldn’t force you to solve a math problem just to show it to you. She should just, you know, kiss you and be done with it. ”

“She’s not doing it on purpose. Believe me, I know.”

“It’s still seems pretty foalish to me.”

Spoon’s eyes gleam in surprise, “Speaking of foals! I have something to show you…” Spoon whips out a small piece of paper from her saddlebag and passes it to Tiara, accompanied by a reassuring smile. “Just look what I’ve found the other day in my desk’s drawer!”

Tiaras pupils open in shock as she stares at the paper. She had long thought this particular memory lost to the passage of time.

It’s an old photograph. Very old, actually, judging from the yellow smears and crumpled corners; she places it at ten years old, but she can’t be sure. It portrays the two of them when they were just young fillies.

It was taken on a day long past. The two of them are wearing extremely silly bunny suits and jumping in circles over some jars. Their faces look so happy…their smiles are so broad and genuine that just thinking of it makes her want to smile too, like in those distant memories. Those were the best moment of a long, beautiful friendship.

Two fillies stare back at her, two friends that are happy to have each other, even in such a ridiculous situation. Two content faces basking in the light of the day.

Then she remembers where it was taken and who was there. Her eyes quiver with rage as her mouth babbles incoherent froth. She snatches the photo and shreds the memory to pieces, throwing the ashes back at Spoon. Spoon’s face, crumbling in crushing despair, reflect in her purple eyes as she takes another swig to drown her anger.

“Of all the things…” she slams the empty glass on the table, “…you had to bring that up?!”

Spoon frantically retrieves the pieces from the table and makes them disappear back into her bag in one fluid motion. “I-I thought we had fun…You were so glad to see me with that costume on and—”

“Had is the key word, Spoon! Have you forgotten how much I was humiliated and how much she had gloated over it? You are not the problem! She was!” She steels her teeth, hoping they hold back the floodgates of venom. Instead, her furor wears the bone down to cinders.

“But why bringing this up now? It was so long ago and—”

“It will never be too long ago! Never!” The last word is screamed with such shrillness that some of the other patrons turn and shake their heads in disapproval, only to be silenced by Tiara’s soul-piercing stare.

“Please, Tiara...” Spoon’s voice cracks and goes monotone as the grey mare lowers her head. “Can’t you just let go?”

“Let it go?! How could I let it go? She was so absorbed in her sister’s babbling that she ended up believing it. Like, she really thinks she is my friend? After how she treated me? After what she did to me? She mocked me, Spoon! Like she’s done her whole life...my life! She’s not my friend! That hick will NEVER be my friend! Read my lips: N-E-V-E-R! You are my friend, Spoon! You and nopony else!”

Tiara sheds her state of unbridled rage when she hears the soft whimpers coming from the opposite end of the table. Her friend is slumping down on the table, covering her face with her forehooves. Tiara rises from her chair and approaches her friend with a crushed look in her eyes, a look that approaches concern.

Not now...Not you too...I can’t lose you too...

“Spoony...I...” she caresses her shoulder with a hoof, “I’m so sorry...”

“Don’t worry...” she wipes her face with a hoof, “I’m used to it.” She puts on a much more melancholic, yet still tender, smile after a nervous sigh. A smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, but a smile which Tiara nevertheless returns, not knowing how to deal with this. It breaks for just a second.

The orchestra erupts with a warm tune that catches her ears; the captivating melody fills the dance floor in a matter of minutes. It’s a very welcome diversion that breaks the awkward silence between the two.

“Want to dance? I mean, everypony is doing it...” Tiara proposes, casting a nonchalant glance towards the dance floor, which is busy crowding itself with all haste. “Just to have some fun and... compose ourselves.”

“Huh? Me and you?” The red smear on Spoon’s cheeks returns with a vengeance.

“What? Your mystery mare is going to get jealous?” Tiara leans closer and whispers into her ear. “She’ll never know. I’m not telling... Besides we are just friends, right?”

“Yeah... I mean yes! Yes we are!” She scrapes together all of her courage and gulps down the last glass of disgusting liquor.
She shudders and assumes a lemon sucking grimace, which Tiara finds simply hilarious. “Let’s go!” Spoon grabs Tiara by the hoof and drags her into the dancing crowd.

“Whoa! Did my Spoony just make a bold approach? Mares love that...”

“I know...” Spoon whispers in return. The garish light of the club embellishes the delicate contours of her face, making her look very differently than before. Very much different from how Tiara has always seen her, almost like a different pony came strutting into the room. A pony that shows no signs of being hurt mere seconds ago.

Tiara can see that she has found one tough pony hidden behind cyan glasses.

The almost imperceptible bass line begins to vibrate through the floor, walls, and both ponies’ bodies. Tiara’s heart beats faster and faster, while her blood rushes though her veins, spurred on by the velvet voice of the singer.

Tiara just limits herself to stand on her four legs, circling her partner in perfect timing with the music, and following the rhythm with a head bob or two. Spoon takes it a step further, standing on her hind legs, and swirling and flowing in time with every beat.

Spoon’s inviting eyes are framed with a devilish smile, and Tiara’s heart skips a beat. Her friend’s cheek are still flushed red and she lets out a series of awkward, colorful laughter as she draws closer and closer to the pink mare. Their elegant equine bodies circle each other in tune with the music, attracted by some mysterious, unknown force that pulls them together.

Every drop of heavy bass clashes with the sweet melodies of the piano. Lost in the hypnotic melody, Tiara doesn’t notice her chest brushing against Spoon’s. She’s back on four legs just like her, while their muzzles mere inches apart.

Spoon’s warm breath fuels her confused brain as the two orbit each other, brushing their flanks and hind quarters together with increasing frequency. Spoon’s touch is slowly driving her mad; she longs for that touch, she longs for somepony—anypony—to hold her. Hold her and say that she’s not alone, that everything will be okay, that life still is worth living and that she needs to feel...adored. Adore her like Spoony always has.

But Spoony is not just anypony.

Each moment they close their distance is a taunt, a reminder of how lonely she’s been. A reminder of what being adored means.

Why shouldn’t it be her?

She can see Spoon’s lips moving, but the crowd’s noise and the music mute her words. Her lulling expression, though, doesn’t suggest anything but acceptance, eagerness even. Completely calm in her embrace, the mare with the mane of silver just waits for her move.

The mysterious force completes its task the moment she presses her lips against her friend’s.

Her breath has a strong hint of their drinks, making Tiara flinch and nearly gag, before fully relaxing in the kiss. Her tongue is spurred on by the warmth of her face and the breath of Spoony’s nostrils, so close that every huff combs her coat and goads her to continue.

Their eyes are strangers to indiscreet looks as time casts a discrete veil over their embrace. The awareness that the absolute power in that kiss could be forever lost with just a moment’s hesitation keeps their lips sealed stronger than ever. Only one thing is truly certain: this moment was worth living.

In that kiss is held everything she needed and so desperately pursued: comfort...comfort and shelter from all the dark thoughts plaguing her, swept away under a soothing, grey rug.

Their lips had met with remarkable passion, and the kiss is strange to say the least. Not for the intensity, nor the softness of Spoon’s lips or the circumstances surrounding it. No, its something else . . .

I’m kissing my best friend.

And by the looks of it, Spoon is well aware of what she is doing; her best friend shows no hesitation as she presses against her. Could it be the alcohol? No, the fumes of alcohol have to be excluded since she clearly saw Spoon barely nibble at her glass.

The fact that her friend barely resisted her advances wracks Tiara’s brain. Those eyes were inviting her like a moth to the fire. Has she already forgotten her crush so easily? It must have been a superficial crush, a brief enthusiasm for a pony she can barely understand and has no name.

Tiara smiles; there is a subtle satisfaction in being able to see through Spoon’s emotions. Oh Spoony.

Who can understand Spoon better than her, after all? A mare who isn’t even sure of what she wants? Please. Spoon had turned to her, demanding her touch and her affection. It’s the mystery mare’s loss, her friend is pleading with magnificent mirth and she is reaping the just reward.

Maybe the feeling is mutual, no, it is mutual. It’s too perfect to be anything else.

Spoon’s tongue sucks her attention back into the kiss. Her tongue starts to glaze against Tiara’s teeth in a feeble effort to pierce her mouth, only to retreat in shame as if she changed her mind halfway through. It goes on for a while, Spoon trying several times to enter Tiara’s mouth but failing each time.

Tiara starts to lose her patience. Her mouth is open enough already for her small tongue to enter and she this close to laying down the metaphorical red carpet for her! She laments the loss of that courage Spoon had shown before on the dance floor with a sigh. Tiara stands on her hind legs to better reach her, and overlaps Spoon’s timid tongue with a thrustful shove of her own into the other’s mare mouth.

Spoon squeals in surprise.

Hearing the yelp shared in their mouths, she opens her eyes a few inches to steal an eyeful of friend. There’s no signs of disgust, refusal or afterthoughts in her eyes: her purple orbs are shot open in surprise, framed by the delicate blushing that refuses to leave her cheeks. The blush shouldn’t, either; it makes her look even cuter than before.

They exchange a look, a beautiful and tender look, and a sign of silent approval passes between her and Spoon. The latter just closes her eyes again and deepens the kiss, lowering her neck to better reach Tiara and take a wider grasp of her lips. This gesture of simple kindness and gallantry is enough to elicit a pleased moan from Tiara, just short of a good natured giggle.

She lashes her tongue without care or restraint into her partner’s mouth, probing her newly acquired territory. Tiara can’t help but snicker at the fact that a good percentage of the ponies around them are doing the same thing, lost in the music. She can spot the rising pegasi wings all around her from the corner of her eye.

With some kind of awkward grace, Spoon’s tongue tries another bold move, striving to envelop Tiara’s, but flounders in the attempt. From all the times she misses and ends up in some lost and forgotten nook of her mouth, it almost seems like...No, it can’t be...

Is this her first kiss?It looks like her first kiss, at least with her tongue...It must be. Poor dear isn’t going to impress anypony with this. Thank the Goddesses I’m here.

She guides Spoon’s tongue, pushing and circling it, savouring its full length and white hot intensity. The grey mare gets the hang of it and demonstrates to be a fast learner... her touch becomes fluid and smooth, shedding the inexperience and anxiety of a very evident first attempt for something much more mature and stimulating for both. Their tongues slide atop each other and fling their tips together, exploring with enthusiastic glee their respective mouths. Their first kiss is so exhilarating and fulfilling that the two mares commence to moan so loudly. Their voices emerge from the booming noise and even cause a pair of those loving couples to turn and stare at them, enraptured.

Tiara soaks it all in. Yes, you can watch if you like...It’s free and it’s better than you’ll ever manage!

Lost in the pleasure of the moment, she senses her heart beat faster and faster, pounding against her ribcage as her pulse races like lightning. She moves her hoof towards Spoon’s chest and caresses it, sensing her nervous, silken fur standing on all ends. She loosens her grip around her friend’s neck, only to be caught by Spoon’s forelegs the second her hind legs start to wobble, locking around her withers.

Oohhh...I’m dealing with a true gentlemare here. I love it.

Eventually, their kiss breaks and they’re left panting and wheezing, leaving a tiny, translucent strand of drool between their mouths. Tara’s ears droop as her breathing gets more coarse and frantic, letting out a throaty whimper every now and then from her still opened mouth. A whimper caused not only by the lack of air, but a cry for help. A cry for this confused young mare to kiss her again and again.

Before she can realize what that moment meant, what she should do next and, most importantly, how much she enjoyed it, the whirlwind of conflicting emotions prevails and overtakes her. She yearns for more, still staring at Spoon’s inviting lips, but the excitement blurs her vision as her legs give out from under her. Her head spins as the stroboscopic lights around her become a swirling tornado of colors. Her hind legs slide and she catches a glimpse of Spoon grabbing her by her fore hooves before slipping on all fours. A loud thud is heard and her lower abdomen slams into the wooden paneling.

Voices flood her ears from every direction. “Whoa! Easy there, filly!” “How much did she drink?!” “Will somepony do something?” “Get her off the floor!”

Please, not now...It was going so well...I can’t look so bad right now...

Her eyelids turn into lead and the world becomes dark and silent. The buzzing voices whisper in her head for a while, before being drowned out by the overwhelming memory of the taste of Spoon’s mouth. It’s the only thing that matters now for her.

She dreams of her friend’s sleek tongue carefully sliding into her mouth, her endearing clumsiness in their first kiss and, most importantly, her eyes.

The look in those eyes...those eyes screaming at her to come and take her right there on the floor.
Promises of unspeakable affection, unknown sensations, of hooves running trough her curves, of her nostrils filled with the scent only a special mare can have, of silent kisses and sweet nothings whispered into her ear, of bodies pressed together in the dark and lighted only by the light of the moon reflected in a captivating gaze, of silent nights heated by satisfied mewls that rise to the sky...

Promises of things long forgotten and reawakened with a vengeance by somepony she never thought to see under that light. A friend she should have seen that way much earlier than this.

After what seems to be an eternity spent in unfulfilled fantasies, she wakes up from her stupor as her vision reasserts itself. Struggling to ignore the aching pain from the back of her head, she finds herself resting on her back atop a comfortable orange seat. A grey hoof is caressing her forehead with tender care, a hoof that belongs to a friend that gives her a relieved look the moment she reopens her eyes.

“Tiara!” She helps her sit up and offers her shoulder to rest her head on, pulling her into a hug. “Thank Celestia! You made me worry!” Her voice resonates with joy, and her purple eyes shine of their own, particular light.

“Where ish...am I....graahh...” her mouth tastes like a mix of sandpaper and battery acid.

“I brought you here, into the carriage. I didn’t see you drink that much, but that stuff was strong. I just drank one glass of it, thankfully, or else there wouldn’t be nopony with a big enough back to carry us both.”

“Told ya... Alwaysh th’ smart one. Who shaysh otherwishe is dumb. And smells.” Her neck shakes a little as vibrations run underneath her seat. “ I can’t help but notish we’re moving...” She slumps down on Spoon’s shoulder, letting a lock of her mane fall into Spoon’s eyes.

“Well, this is your carriage. I thought it was better to bring you home. “ She sighs, wearied, “I’m sorry the evening had to be cut short like that.”

“Who shaid it was c...cu... It has to end like that? I’m shtill here, ya know!” She grabs Spoon’s cheek with a hoof and shoves her face into hers, allowing Tiara to plant a couple of sloppy kisses on her forehead and nose.The smooth feeling of her coat and her delicate scent is enough to unleash a hoarse, unhinged moan of desire. “Come here you,” she growls.

“Tiara, please,” Spoon moves away her head, leaving her friend’s lips to pucker at nothing, “not like this. I don’t...”

“You didn’t shay that before. Actually you didn’t say anything. Or shomefing...I can’t remember. Music too loud. Now kissy time.” She presses her lips against Silver’s cheek making cute, disgusting little smacking sounds. The other mare faces the other way with an exasperated sign, moving away enough to let Tiara tongue uselessly at the air.

You just need some rest. And another cold shower, maybe.” Tiara slips from her hoof and lands on her chest, forcing Spoon to lean back into the seat.

“We can take it together. Also my bed ish pretty big...” She rubs her snout against Spoon’s coat, thinking of their soap coated bodies sticking against each other in the shower. “I’ll rub your back and you’ll rub mine...I have a rubber ducky...”

“Just take some rest, Tiara. You’ll feel better in the morning. Or not.”

“Can we kissh shome more? I like kisshing you...It’s so funny...He, he, he.”

"I told you: not like that. This isn’t you.” She places a hoof under Tiara’s chin and lifts her head, gazing deeply in her eyes, “This just isn’t you...” She frees her forehead from some of the hair sticking on it.

“You know you’ll never learn how to kiss if you don’t let me. Spoony, trust me. I mean, you have a pretty good technique but it needs to be refined with a lot of practice. And I mean a lot. If you just give me another chance...”

Spoon’s cheeks go red and she chuckles embarrassed, “Huh...Thanks, I guess...”

“Also, why did you kiss me in there? Why did you kiss me at the club, but you’re not willing to do it again?” Her mind and syntax return by a supreme strain of will. The fumes of alcohol are dispersed for just a moment. Her mind had circled around the issue with a thousand justifications and repressed desires, indulging in the pleasure of that moment, but now Tiara has to know. She needs to know. She must know if that was real.

If Spoon was real.

She leans closer toward her friend. She isn’t interested in what kind of look she’s going to give her now, be it compassion or concern or whatever. What matters to her right now is soft, glistening, inviting and right below her nose. But first, there’s one last thing to say...

“Spoony?” She’s still lucid as she uses that nickname. It always meant something special with her.

“Y-Yeah?” Spoon steels herself and grits her teeth, holding in a half-suffocated yelp. She almost leaps from her seat.

“I’m sorry for the photo! It’s just...I...”

“Don’t worry.” Spoon leans toward Tiara and their lips meet once again. The soft moonlight coming in through the window bathes their faces, and Tiara knows peace.

Forgiven...

Fulfilled...

Adored.

The first kiss follows a second, a third, a fourth... dozens of kiss lighten up the empty night. Their lips touch and part in an unending sequence of bliss, sharing small snippets of eternity between each other all the way home. Each of them feel so real as to be painful, each of them reawakens a small part of herself, giving meaning to somepony that never thought until today to have one.

If that meaning has to be Spoon, then why not?