Careful what you wish for

by Vinyl Snatch

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sex, Anthro, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Porn, Cheese Sandwich
Length: 3352

Cheese asks for a simple blowjob for his birthday. Pinkie decides to solve a universal problem at the same time.

Pinkie’s first Birthday Bash for her boyfriend Cheese is a success. After party she decides to be a little more intimate with the birthday boy. Sadly she finds a problem she didn’t expect. Will Cheese survive her solution?

Written for Mancin for the 2024 Summer Sin Celebration.

Published 2024-07-05 14:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-05 14:00:00 UTC

What do you mean this is the only flavor you have?!

I should have known. I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming but I still ended up here. My legs argued with me as I wobbled through the alleyway from the Sugarcube Corner. Finally I collapsed inches away from the street.

“Crikey! You ok Mister Cheese?” A small brown and white foal looked down at my spent body. I couldn’t even begin to tell him what happened.

“I I think I need some help..” The words came out in a dry whisper. It hurt to speak.

“I better get you a medic wagon, you look like shit!” The young colt bolted for the emergency bell nearby. I could chastise him for his language but he was probably right. I felt like shit. I could feel my consciousness slipping, had to just hold on, the wagon would be here soon. What would I tell them? How would I word it? I thought about the last 24 hours, some of which was a blur that landed neatly into a montage.

“Cheesy, this is the bestest birthday party after the party that we ever threw.” Pinkie Pie bounced around in her excitement, she made it hard to think sometimes when she does that.

One of the benefits of dating the party pony is the sheer joy of watching her large breasts bounce with every movement. Pinkie was often described as thicc and I enjoyed every movement of those hips and bust.

“I know I got you plenty of presents, and had so much fun but it’s the first time I had a boyfriend birthday party to throw. Anything I missed?”

I looked around at the balloons covering the floor and the large banner that hung on the wall screaming that it was “Cheese’s first birthday bash thrown by his girlfriend Pinkie. That’s me!” There was nothing as a fellow party planner I could think of that she hadn’t thought of in droves.

“It was a blast, Pinkie. I couldn’t have thrown a better party myself.” And I couldn’t.

“You sure there’s nothing more I could do or give you as your girlfriend for your birthday? Now that we’re alone…” She leaned seductively against a wall, fully displaying the curviness I fell in love with, along with the Pinkiness of course.

“Well, if you put it that way…” I didn’t know how things would go. I never asked for something so self serving from her before. But it was my birthday and she looked so sexy in that tight fitting apron and daisy dukes. My goodness had she been wearing that the whole time? Or did she do an impromptu wardrobe change just for this question?

“Yeeeesss?” She purred, her eyes tantalizingly looking out at me from under those slightly made up lids. She lifted her arms up along the wall, pushing her barely contained breasts out in my direction.

“A …a…” I swallowed hard. Those mounds of pink beauty reminded me of marshmallows that swished and jiggled as she swung them back and forth. “A blow.. job?”

“Huh?” Her hands dropped back down. She cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“I mean if you don’t mind. It was just an idea.” I didn’t like the look in her eyes. It was more desire than I was used to seeing.

“Oh, you must mean a special Pinkie Pie exclusive Birthday blowjob.” She threw confetti into the air and a banner fell declaring “BlowJob Fest for Cheese!”

“Uhh how many of these birthday blowjobs have you given?” I was a little concerned about secret party perks she was offering to others.

“Hmmph. It’s just for you if you must know. I’m not the type of mare that just blows tons of stallions just cause it’s their birthday! This is the first time I tried it. But I have practiced on balloons and can fit most of them in my mouth. I bet I can easily fit that balloon in your pants.” She knelt in front of me, those pink heaving breasts pressed against their cloth confinement, straining to escape. I wished them luck.

Her hand ran along the bulge in my crotch. Her eyes never left mine as she licked its length through the thin cloth. A wicked grin lit up her face as she nommed it.

“Pinkie wait that’s…” The bugle exploded with a loud bang and for a millisecond my girlfriend’s eyes were saucers. She froze, my pants still hanging from her mouth where the mound was.

“Sorry,” I said sheepishly. “That was actually a balloon. I kind of expected the ‘Is that balloon in your pants’ joke.”

“That scared that crap out of me… I thought I I.., ha ha ha ha.” The little party pony shook with laughter. Those blessed pink peaks finally crested their covering if only for a second. “I-I thought I popped your cock! Ha ha ha ha! Boom!”

She bent further to the floor, guffawing. I guess the gag worked a little better than I thought. She grabbed the legs of my pants, trying with no luck to control herself. I at least got to watch the rippling Pinkie boob show. There was no hiding them from this angle.

“Is somepony trying to hide his real size, hmmm?” The giggling mare eyed me with a suspicious smirk. “Cause I’m going to find out the truth for myself.”

She scrambled to the top of my slacks again, this time gliding her fingers along the hem. Those long thin fingers searched across my waist like a blinded mare seeking a midnight snack. Until she struck gold. And by gold I mean my cock’s tip.

“Here it is…” she purred, tapping the head a few times to make sure. “And it’s gooey already for me.”

Her moistened finger quickly entered her mouth and a strange look spread across her face. It wasn’t excitement or disgust but more confusion. She shrugged and returned to my pants.

“Wakey, wakey, eggs and ..” she pulled my pants down and my dick booped her snout. “Sausage. He he he. Even your penis boops me.”

“He he he. Boop. Boop.” I booped her a few more times with it to her delight. Then a hungry look came over her and she slowly grabbed it.

“Hmm.. doesn’t feel much like a balloon but it’s definitely big like one.” Pinkie grasped it with both hands and slowly rubbed it down. I felt its power growing. She pulled my pants off and slid one of her hands around my balls. Caressing each one like they were precious dough, gently massaging them.

I never had my balls massaged before, or any of this done before, but it felt like they were being rubbed by a soft velvet cloth. I closed my eyes to soak in the feeling then felt a moistened swab touch my head. Pinkie was exploring.

Her tongue danced along the shaft from top to bottom then towards the sack she was still working. It was difficult to stand while she carefully ventured along the creases and back up the precipice. Then an elastic band filled with water and heat descended down its length.

I opened my eyes to see Pinkie still staring at me with that sparking excitement. She smiled a little but kept focused on devouring every inch of me. It was like anything else she put her mouth. One second it was there the next, she was nuzzling the sensitive skin around my dong with her muzzle. She had it in her throat, I could feel the back of her tongue and roof of her mouth constricting the head as she sucked. Then she slowly released it in a long draw.

The world suddenly became larger than anything I could have imagined. It felt like all the universe was being drawn together in one point, an ecstatic meeting of joy, pleasure, understanding and harmony with all of creation. I think they had donuts too. Then my senses came back as she pushed my cock into her mouth again. Holy Gorgonzola Batmare! That was just one suck!

I must have made some noise because Pinkie froze. Then pushed me against the kitchen island so I didn’t fall over. Had she sucked my entire lower body in somehow too? Why were my legs like jelly?

She giggled a bit as she saw the effect, then purposely placed her hands behind her back. And it was off to the races. I was flung from singularity to singularity, each time much more intense. The planet would get smooshed together with all its relatives then expand out again like a breath. My mind was filled with possibilities I never considered before. How big could I make a rubber chicken? How loud would that be? Maybe I could make one that sang.

Then the world would return to the kitchen where Pinkie still had my dick in her mouth. Her hair was getting more tangling, that beautiful chest was getting soaked in sweat and spit and precum. She finally brought her hands back out only to grab my bare ass and pull me deeper into her. Was she trying to eat me?

The feeling was so intensely blissful that I wanted to be eaten. Heck I was planning to eat her afterwards. Though not in that way. But man, the thought of that made me want to blow and go diving instead.

I had a hard time focusing after that. There was darkness and sound, fire and earth, pressure the likes of which ponies never felt before. All the while I was aware of Pinkie’s head bobbing up and down like a pogo stick. Except I had the stick and she was bouncing on it. She was deepthroating me like a mad mare if that wasn’t clear enough.

Then as the volcano showed signs of eruption, and my legs started to shake like crazy, she coiled her tongue around my cock like she had a serpent in her mouth. She pulled on me so hard I thought it was going to pop like squeezing a banana out of its skin. But all I wanted to do was grab that fuzzy head of hers and fire both barrels off. So I did.

Pinkie’s eyes went wide, as the sticky load filled her mouth and dibbled on those perfect boobs. I must have fallen down with the force of the blast, cause I was laying on the kitchen floor with Pinkie sitting across from me, stunned.

Then she sat up and licked whatever goo that missed her mouth. And dabbed it on her tongue sexily, letting strands shine in the fluorescent light. Then she made a face. A horrible face, a green, twisted, sour-puckered horrible face.

“This stuff tastes awful,” she declared when her normal face returned.

“Sorry … I-I didn’t choose it…” I felt like my body was a large puddle of mush. Only my lungs and mouth seemed to work.

“What do you mean ‘didn’t choose it’? You made it?” She looked confused and hurt somehow. She stuck her tongue out and tried to waggle the remnants off.

“Well I .. don’t get … a choice in the flavor.” Pinkie’s disappointment caused my body to recongel. I felt my limbs move again and was at her side with a paper towel to help.

“Cheesy, I can cum in 36 different flavors, including the new Bwahaha Blast ™, and choose whether I want sparkles or confetti to come out with it. And you’re telling me all you have is this one lousy salty flavor?!” She looked at me accusingly.

“Sorry, sweet muffin but not all mares or stallions can do what you do. In fact I think you’re the only one that can do that.” I wiped a soggy tangle of mane off her face.

“And you know this how, exactly?” Her attitude changed entirely and her eyes poked out like darts, pointed at my head. The one I think- the one with all the hair- the one with the face on it.

“I uhh read it in a porn.” Though I didn’t actually read porn and she knew it.

“You don’t read porn and I know it,” she pointed a finger at me. I wiped that too. “You said you’ve never been with anypony ever in a sexual way. How did you taste them?”

“I didn’t. But I heard stories, you know secret guy stories that only guys tell other guys when mares aren’t there so we don’t sound as disgusting and dumb as we are.” It wasn’t a lie. I heard Sunburst talking about this stuff and was shocked at how many mares he had been with. Not that I think that should be commended or anything.

“Oh you guys. We mares already know how disgusting and dumb you are. But it makes you feel better we’re smart enough to let you ‘get away with it’”. She wiggled her fingers as she said it. “So you really can’t change that flavor huh?”

“I’m really sorry, I won’t ask you to do that again if it’s that bad.” Though the reality was I wanted to try it again right that minute.

“No! You shouldn’t have to change that. It looks like it’s up to me. I’m Pinkie Pie, I can make anything taste great. So take off your pants and lay on the counter, Cheesy we’re doing this until I find the right combination.” She slapped the table and started pulling out various spices and condiments.

“Can’t I at least eat you out first or you know … sex maybe?” I enjoyed sex a lot.

“Oh so you can enjoy some bwahaha blast ™ while I have to suffer with.. with salty semen, not ™? No! I’m fixing this now, not just for me but for all mares who want to suck off their stallions but not get a mouth full of yuck!” She arranged the various flavors around my spot on the table like she was setting up a strange ritual.

I layed down, knowing better than to argue with her in this state, and prepared for a night of having my cock sucked by a beautiful mare. Man it’s hard being me sometimes.

“Now I want you to cum nice and big for chef Pinkie, ok? The more I get, the more things I can try to season it with.” She winked and showed me the top of her cleavage. “So anything I can do to make it even bigger?”

“Maybe remove the apron?” I felt myself at attention just at the thought of it. Pinkie noticed as it grew in her hand.

“Some pony likes boobies,” she said, moving my cock like a crane game controller.

“Not just any boobies, your boobies.” I was met with a mischievous grin. “Though they are in a tie for favorite thing about Pinkie with the rest of you.”

“Awww, I would say I love you with all my heart but my boobies are bigger.” She used the non-penis-holding hand to lift the small strap over her neck that held them in place. For a moment I thought the seams would rip, there were a few snaps but it survived another day as the massive weight pulled the cloth from Pinkie’s hand. Her breasts popped out with ferocity, one dark pink nipple booping my snout.

“Boop, boop, boop,” she said as she swung them in my face. “Revenge!”

“Now to the main feast experiment. Exfeasterment! Or should I say Smegfeasterment.” She giggle, her breasts happily bouncing carefree. I grew harder and she excitedly stroked me a little. Then bent over the table, so those beautiful melons brushed my legs. “Now you’re definitely ready. First cinnamon!”

“You’re not going to just stuff cinnamon in your mouth right?” I saw her reach over and grab a handful of something from a glass measuring bowl.

“No, silly. Doing that is really dangerous and could kill me. Anypony who does that is stupid and could risk their life. I’m using flaming spheres candy.” She smiled revealing five large red balls in her mouth.

“I thought you’d wait until I cum.” She knelt down at the end of the table, her soft breast grazing my cock.

“You have precum already. I can start with that.” With those slobbered words she slid me in her mouth once more.

It wasn’t the same feeling as before. It was still wet and felt great except for the sudden burning sensation. Her tongue slid across my tip, pulling the small amount cum into her mouth more, then the spheres rolled on me.

“Holy guacamole! That’s hot!” As the spheres roasted my dick.

“Oh yeah, I’m making you hot?! That’s good cause this works.” She muttered with her mouth full of cock and balls.

“No! It’s actually hot! My penis is burning!” I tried to back away from that suction mouth but Pinkie was stronger than I thought.

“Oh oh!” She quickly spit the balls out and dumped a glass of water on me. “Sorry! Is it ok?! Do I need the fire extinguisher?!” She asked as she was hosing my hose with one.

“It’s fine now Pinkie,” I winced as the cold liquid encased my junk in fire retardant. It hurt but I did want her to feel bad. Luckily I normally don’t hurt for long, for some reason being a party pony makes impossible things possible and not getting hurt by things like safes and fire extinguishers is part of that. I don’t know why but that’s what happens. The universe likes to keep their silly ponies safe.

“Should I try something cool now?” She reached a hand towards a jar of mint.

“No! No! I think it’s cold enough.”

“So no flaming spheres … on to the next!” She wrote down a few notes on a post and then returned to me. “I’ll thaw your frozen wiener!”

The rest of the night was a blur of sucking and flavors. Butter, peanuts, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla all failed to help Pinkie’s sensitive taste buds. I don’t remember how many times I had to cum in her mouth but she insisted on taking it each time, trying different chasers to mix with my flavor.

I remember the world starting to gray around the edges and I think I passed out from bliss a couple of orgasms in. I woke each time to find Pinkie’s increasingly crazy face puckered or squished in an unpleasant reaction. “Nope! Ok here we go, try fifteen!”

At that point I didn’t think I would have enough fluid in my body to satisfy her. I had to escape. As much as I enjoyed the attention and the effort she put forth, I was worried about my safety. Cheese Sandwich blown to a crisp, was not a headline I wanted ponies to read about tomorrow.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I half lied. I needed to go but I doubted there was any moisture left to use the bathroom.

“Ok Cheesy, I’ll get the pickles ready.” She merrily took a pickle and started mashing it into a paste. I think I knew how it felt. As much fun as it was to watch, I had to survive. I found my pants and made my way out.

“And that’s why I’m in this state…” I muttered, the last of my words drying in my mouth.

“Cricky mister! That’s awful and amazing!”

“Oh no did I just say all that to a foal?” I don’t think my brain was working right at that time.

“Nah mate, you’re in the hospital! I just happen to have the same accent.” A stallion in a white coat stepped into my vision to prove he was there. “We’re giving you fluids and vitamins to help ya. You passed out in the emergency wagon. Don’t worry though, ya have a visitor that will help see you through.”

“A visitor?”

“Cheesy you big goob! Why didn’t you say something? It’s fine, I brought the pickles with me.”

Help.