A tall creature snaked between the plants and flowers of the royal Canterlot gardens, grinning. The being was an unusual one indeed, a mishmash of different limbs from various animals, each body part merging at the joints perfectly. Pausing, it lay down on the cool dirt, running a paw over the tended surface. He, the creature presumed to be a male, brought to the other a chunk of the stone prison that had temporarily held him and threw it into his mouth, crunching it down like a handful of nuts. Slaloming through the foliage, he considered the situation at paw. I can't do things like before, he thought. I hate to admit it, but given what happened last time, I'm going to have to be... He narrowed his eyes irritably. Subtle. Continuing between the flowers and bushes, he smiled, spying a guard standing oblivious out towards the hedges. it could be worse, I suppose. And besides... With a click of his fingers, princess Celestia appeared around a bush and began to walk past the guard, who immediately stood straight to attention. I can still have fun this way.
"Good morning," the fake princess said politely.
"Good morning, your majesty," replied the guard.
"I trust all is well?"
"Yes, your majesty."
"Good." The princess was turning to leave when she glanced back sharply. "What," she said mock-quizzically, "is that?"
The unicorn guard followed his ruler's pointing down between his legs and to the floor, where a small pool of off-white, translucent gel sat.
The guard turned bright red, recognising the substance. "I– I don't know, your majesty," he stammered.
The princess smiled devilishly, leaning in towards the guard, who took a nervous step back. "I won't deny," she whispered, "It's been a while, but I think I know what it is. A guard's duty is to serve his princess, just as a ruler's is to serve her subjects, including you, Crossed Swords," she continued, smiling. Suddenly turning to leave, she flicked her tail in his face. "You need but ask, soldier."
Discord continued to watch, splitting his sides over the guard's embarrassment. The stallion's sidesteps simply made him laugh harder.
Finishing his little session, Discord continued to slither through the gardens, scheming up ideas to humiliate Celestia. She always loves control. Everything's got to be her way, he pondered. Suddenly, he stopped and gasped as an idea came to mind. No... That would be cruel, he thought, the wicked grin returning to his face. And so, so perfect. The chimera set off towards the castle with renewed vigour.
Look out Celestia. Discord's coming home.
-<+=+>-
Princess Celestia strolled through the royal Canterlot gardens, enjoying the beautiful summer's day. A cool breeze danced across her back as she relished the break in her schedule.
Leaning down to sniff at a flower, she felt something bump her leg. Looking down, the alicorn saw a small, bright pink cloud, and frowned, her eyes narrowing. Beneath it was a puddle of brown liquid. Celestia recognised the two abnormalities as she magically picked up a note sitting on the cloud and read it.
Hello Celly! I hope you're having fun in your ordered little world, because I'm afraid things are going to change. Here's a clue: you know how much you love to be in control? Soon enough you won't even be able to control yourself.
Love D~
Celestia gasped out loud. Discord is back, she thought. That's not possible. Surely this is one of Luna's jokes? the princess hoped. These thoughts were quickly dispelled when the alicorn rounded a corner and saw the remains of Discord's statue, shattered into pieces.
Taking flight, the princess aimed towards her sister's bedchamber, thoughts racing through her head. First, the elements. Then Twilight and her friends. But what if Discord's changed? He may be crazy, but he's not stupid. He'll have learnt from last time. These deliberations heavy in her mind, she landed hard on the balcony to her sister's room.
"Luna!" Celestia called, trotting through the double doors. The princess of he night stirred a little and maundered. "Luna, wake up!" Celestia said, shaking her younger sister who rolled away in the princess-sized bed.
"Sister, do not disturb our sleep," she mumbled irritably. In a moment of frustration and lack of restraint, the white alicorn telekinetically gave her sibling a good shove and she fell out of the bed. "Ah! Tia!"
Luna got to her hooves and dusted herself off, grumbling, "Well, you have successfully gained our reluctant attention, sister. What is it?"
"It's Discord, he's– Luna!" Celestia was cut off as her sister suddenly lost consciousness and slumped to the floor. A laugh emanated from the room.
"Discord! Reveal yourself!" the princess shouted.
"Oh, you're no fun at all, Celestia," he said, peeling himself off the mural on the ceiling.
"What have you done to my sister?" Celestia demanded.
"Oh, she's fine," Discord said, waving a paw dismissively. "The power of a word is quite something, don't you think?" Celestia narrowed her eyes. "I took my sociological embodiment and made it cause amnesia and loss of consciousness, including my name, and any other kind of reference to me. If course, it doesn't affect you, obviously."
"You mean...?"
"Yes! This will be your own personal little Tartarus, and you can't even tell anyone!" Discord laughed with glee.
"None of this makes sense!" Discord smiled condescendingly at this. "You shouldn't even be floating in front of me! Twilight and her friends destroyed you with the Elements of Harmony!" Celestia cried.
Discord laughed with mocking pity. "Oh dear, Celly. I do hope you're not actually naïve enough to think that objects based around the ideas of things like laughter and kindness could do something even close to killing me," He said, rolling over in the air lazily. "No, the nastiest thing they can possibly do is lock me away for a while," He floated forward, pressing his face into hers. "I'm more powerful than you'd like to think, princess."
Celestia turned away, took a few steps in the other direction and circled back towards Discord. "What are you even going to do?"
"Patience, my little pony," Discord said. "You'll find out soon enough."
I hate suspense. Celestia thought.
"With this, though, I must bid you adieu," Discord said, picking Luna up and returning her to the bed. "Some much to do, so little time. Ta-ta." With a flash, he was gone, the princess who was still conscious watching the spot where he had disappeared with malevolence.
-<+=+>-
The rest of that day passed by in a blur for the alicorn. Court came and went, documents and petitions flew over her desk with a hoofprint or neigh-say here or there and the evening meal seemed bland and listless. What was there to be done? What was there that could be done? Discord had her wrapped around his hoof, or rather, finger.
Despite her worries, Celestia soon found herself in the evening, the red sun and pink clouds' hazy confusion reflecting her mental state. The sisters bid each other a good morning and a good night, one sister speaking less cheerily than the other. Celestia lay restlessly in bed for some time before she was able, finally, to fall asleep.
-<+=+>-
The next morning, as the moon prepared to leave its stage, Celestia awoke, blinked wearily, shifted in the bed– and found out what Discord had done.
As she moved, the princess of the sun felt a strange sensation coming from around her nether regions. She moved again in an attempt to confirm the feeling and was quite confused. It was like nothing she had ever felt before, not even those rare occasions when she went into heat. Her flank tingled for some reason and the area was cold, damp and somewhat sticky. Intrigued, if a little vexed, at her own inability to name the occurrence, Celestia pulled back the covers and gasped in horror.
The sheets and her flank were a dark yellow. The princess flexed her hind legs to make sure they were indeed hers; they were, and the stench coming from then matched what her eyes were saying.
She had wet the bed. There was no denying it or putting it down to something else. She had wet the bed and not by a small amount, either; the sheets were well soaked with urine, leaving Celestia disgusted and horrified. Levitating the covers off herself, she carefully got out of bed, trying to contain the mess as best as possible by ensuring she didn't drip all over the place. Pushing one of the doors to her balcony open with a hoof, the princess stepped out and hung the mass of materials over the railing. Looking up at the sky, where the moon hung low, waiting for the sun to take its place, the alicorn sighed. Raising the sun in such a befuddled state of mind would not put her in good stead for the rest of the day, but nevertheless, she readied herself, squaring her stance and lowering her head. Pushing energy into her horn, she immediately felt the immense power coursing through her body. Slowly but surely, the flaming ball of gas began to rise over the horizon and its lunar sister dipped below. The effort that this took forced her bladder to contract, and she unwittingly started dribbling onto the balcony. Feeling this happening, the princess faltered, blushing, and the sun stalled likewise. Celestia shook herself out. Now is not the time to stop! she thought, and steeled herself, forging onwards before the sun was finally well up. The balcony was quite wet at this point, the yellow liquid coating the underside of Celestia's back hooves. Levitating the sheets off the railing, she mopped up the mess embarrassedly before returning them to the golden barrier. Finally, the princess of the sun wiped her hooves dry and went back into her room for a shower.
As the water ran over her body, Celestia thought about what had happened, both on the balcony and over the course of the night. As mortified as she was about the whole mess — no pun intended — it called for thinking about. This must be what he meant when he talked about 'losing control'... the alicorn mused. But is this the full extent of it? What else am I going to lose? And what can I do about it? I can't rule with the worry of peeing myself— or worse... Celestia shuddered involuntarily. The movement made her do so and the drops were quickly washed away. She glanced sideways out of instinct before blushing at her own silliness.
There came a knock at the door. Now clean and quite certain that she could pee no more, the princess stepped out of the shower, magicking her mane and tail into their more regal state. Wrapping a towel around herself and walking into her chambers, she called, "Enter."
The messenger quietly slipped into her dorms, a silver platter on one hoof. "Good morning your majesty. First order of business; a farmer near the Canterlot area has been complaining that pegasus guard routes are affecting his strato-nimbus irrigation systems as of late." Celestia rubbed her eyes, sighing.
Oh, by me, she thought. Equestria won't stop for my personal crises. Time and tide and subjects wait for no mare. "Send him a message from me, telling him how dreadfully sorry we are, and tell the pegasi to fly higher over his property." she loved the earth ponies very much of course, as she did with all of her little ponies, but she sometimes wished that certain members of the race would be less... suspicious of the different. True, she had subtly increased size and frequency of patrols since Discord's return, but this hardly gave base to such allegations of them disrupting anything. Old ponies, especially earth ponies, as she had learned over the ages, didn't like change; if wasn't the norm, it wasn't wanted.
"Next on the list..." he continued obliviously, Celestia's tone going right over her head.
I can't be dealing with this now. I need time to think...
"Stop," she said calmly. "Everything that you can I want on Luna's pile." Sorry sister. "Anything that absolutely requires my personal judgement, give to me at breakfast. Also, I'm afraid I won't be taking court today."
"Your majesty?" the messenger said in confusion. "Is everything alright, princess?"
"That is private information which I am not at liberty to discuss with you, my little pony," she said. He backed down and left the room. Hoping she would be able to hold herself, Celestia shook herself dry, dropped the towel and left for the dining room.
-<+=+>-
Breakfast was a surprisingly casual affair in the palace; toast, fruit and strong, hot coffee usually all on offer. The cooks had learnt over a thousand years or so that Celestia wasn't much of a morning pony and didn't have a great appetite either, even after raising the sun. Pouring herself a tall mug, she gulped down the bitter, black liquid and picked up the week's Canterlot Ooh-la-la. The princess still had no idea why the trashy magazine was even on the palace table. Perhaps it was simply some contract so they could blare 'Read by the princess herself!' on the front. There was the usual article about some pony's fifteen minutes of fame, a sudden sensation that would be gone in a flash. She suddenly realised how cynically she was thinking. The mare of the sun wasn't usually so scathing, but then again, she wasn't usually so incontinent.
Putting down the glossy ad booklet, her gaze wandered to the fruit bowl. Magically pulling out a pair of bananas, she slowly peeled and ate them, one after the other. Bananas. Assuredly the best of all fruits. Celestia smiled.
She was interrupted by a navy alicorn storming up to her. "Sister!" Luna bristled, brandishing her inbox and the mess of paper that filled it, "What is the meaning of this? I come to bed to find my desk smothered with your half of our ponies' wanton wailings! We have duties of our own to perform, Celly, and I don't have time for yours as well!"
"I'm sorry, Luna, but I really need this day off." Luna glared at her. "I'm having some personal... difficulties. Please? For me?"
"No dice."
"For your favourite sister?"
"The one who sent me to the moon for a thousand years?"
Celestia winced. "Low blow."
"About 384,403 kilometres, actually."
Now it was her turn to glare.
"I'll pay you back."
"...Fine."
-<+=+>-
Pacing through the garden, Celestia breathed rhythmically, flapping a hoof in front of her as she had seen her niece do on occasion. The scents of the flowers cleared her head and for the first time in a good few hours, the princess was able to think clearly again.
Oh, what am I to do about this? she despaired, lying down in the grass. Resting her head on the soft turf, the alicorn groaned into it. Don't cry, don't cry. she chided herself. You're a princess, for goodness' sake. You've been through worse than this, much worse! She smiled to herself, her confidence growing. Just because Disco...
A wet noise derailed her train of thought. Her ears perked and she turned her head toward the sound of the noise. The sound of what was now directly behind her concisely informed the mare that she had now lost complete control of her bowels. Her brain ground to a halt and she was unable to do anything for a number of seconds except blink. Eventually she stopped defecating and leapt up. As Celestia turned around, swirling her head this way and that, the smell alone confirmed her fears: the other part of 'losing control' had reared its ugly head.
Confident she was alone, she grabbed the patch of ground with her magic, flipped it over and smashed it into the ground, destroying the evidence of the previous few seconds' event.
"You don't have to go around dropping your waste everywhere, you know," Discord's voice suddenly echoed in her head.
Celestia jumped before rolling her eyes in irritation at his incessant mocking.
"What do you want?" she muttered.
Oh!" he replied, mock-offended. "Well, I just came to chat, but if you're going to be like that, I'll go."
"Unless you can tell me anything useful or positive, then please do."
The chaos king turned away and pretended to tear up. "I came to offer a solution to your problem, as a matter of fact. But if you don't want me, I'll just go."
Her ears perked. "What would that be?"
"Well," Discord said, appearing out of nowhere and proceeding to float around her, swirling over and over in as random a fashion as possible. "What do little ponies do when they can't hold on?"
Celestia looked at him with annoyance.
"Or rather, what do they wear?"
Her eyes widened in realisation and he grinned smugly, nodding. "Oh no, I don't think so!" she cried. Discord tilted his head and shrugged.
"Oh, I'm not saying you have to wear diapers," he said, putting his head in his paws and his elbows on the princess's back, "But you can't keep having days like this; ponies will realise something's up. And even if you could, whether you did or not, you've still got to do something about that." His eyes flicked to the freshly moved patch of earth. She glanced at the spot and her nemesis disappeared. Her eyes didn't move.
I'm going to have to, aren't I?
-<+=+>-
As freaked out as he was from the advances the princess made to him the previous day, Crossed Swords decided against feigning illness this morning. He'd considered it, but figured that it was pointless anyway. If she really wanted him, what could he do against princess Celestia? It would be his word against hers.
He was at his post in the garden when a sudden movement behind a hedge caught his eye. Without moving his head, the stallion turned his eyes towards the disruption; a white and pastel mare doing... something. He couldn't make it out through the foliage. However, the pony was able to perceive the next events.
A small part of him snapped as he watched the princess appear startled for no apparent reason, spout nonsense to thin air for a minute or so before spontaneously leaving. Crossed Swords' eyes drifted back around to the setting in front of him. One twitched.
I don't get paid enough.
Author's Note
Damn, this has been a long time coming. Sorry I left you hanging for so long, readers! I'm afraid the next chapter will be written even more slowly; I have barely started on it yet, despite doing other chapters. Unfortunately I don't write in the same order that my story happens. Also, what do you think of the middle part, where the second part of losing control happens? I hope it doesn't seem rushed. It was the last part I wrote. Anyway, comments are appreciated, I always want to know what you think.
