Derpy
I did it again. I can’t believe I forgot again. I know how to deliver the mail. I do it all the time. Grab mail, fly to pony’s mailbox, land, open mailbox and put in mail, close mailbox, find the next house. See? I know it all. Why I couldn’t make sure I put it in order sometimes is still confusing to me. This was one of those times.
I forgot to land. I got close, opened the mailbox but no landing. I had enough time to shout, “jump!” then the mailbox tried to swallow me. It kind of did but I just popped out the other side.
I was stuck, my wings smooshed against my body and my hind legs kicked uselessly out in the air. I tried to push with my forehooves on the edge of the box but it was no use, the mailbox had me.
“Nutzo!” I cried hoping my squirrel pet had jumped off me when I told him to. I heard some rustling in the leaves nearby and then he stumbled out. Thank goodness he didn’t seem to be hurt. “I’m stuck again Nutzo.”
The squirrel stood in front of me, then placed his head in his paws. He did that a lot. Finally he climbed up the side of the pole and onto the mailbox itself. I felt his paws on my back, then again on my flanks. He was looking to see how stuck I was. He hopped back down and sadly shook his head.
“It’s ok, I didn’t think you could get me out. Luckily this is one of the roomer mailboxes, so it’s not crushing my middle. So could you please find Twilight and tell her I’m stuck again?” It was the third time this week. I was worried Twilight would get mad.
Nutzo seemed mad too. He shook his little finger at me and made a “tch” sound. I slumped, ashamed in my metal burrito-like shell. It wasn’t easy when your pet yelled at you in public. Luckily no pony was around to see it.
Nutzo finished his disappointing sounding speech and scurried off to find my girlfriend, Princess Twilight Sparkle. It was still so surreal that we were dating and how far we’d come. But it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Twilight is very busy and I don’t get to see her as much as I’d like. I hope she doesn’t think I’m getting stuck to see her more.
Twilight
I was about halfway through my morning exercises when the squirrel showed up. Yes, I do morning exercises despite what the papers say, or heavily suggest. I wasn’t that pudgy!
Nutzo began a series of paw gestures in rapid sequence but I think most of it was the squirrel form of cursing. It ended with a finger entering his little fist, the sign for Derpy’s stuck in a mailbox. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what it meant.
A chill ran down my spine, it was time. I promised myself that if this happened again, I would tell her the truth. I wasn’t sure how she would take it. Sometimes Derpy didn’t fully understand what I was trying to convey and it’s much harder when it’s topics like this. But I couldn’t go through this again. It was tearing me up inside.
I went through the mental checklist for the items I needed. I already knew the spell forward and back. I grabbed a few items and put them in my saddle bag then turned to her squirrel.
“I’m going to talk to Derpy, Nutzo, please stay here… it would be better.” I expected a lot of protest or at least a suspicious look from him, but he shrugged and ran to the kitchen. I could hear him eating from his nut bowl as I teleported to my girlfriend.
Derpy
I was flying, free and clear in a beautiful blue sky. Twilight’s laugh echoed from a distant cloud, I wanted to catch up to her. She might be super smart and a princess but I was faster in the air. Most ponies forget that. Probably because before I can use my full speed I’d hit a post or door or house.
I was flying towards that cloud, the sun shone off it and I could see the princess’s beautiful form in shadow. She was there, waiting for me. She wanted me to come to her, I knew it. I just had to get there fast.
“Derpy?”
The cloud Twilight wasn’t sure I could make it. I knew I could if I could just flap my wings faster. Why were they going so slow? What was wrong with them?!
“Wake up Derpy!”
My eyes opened and Twilight was in front of me. I must have flown much faster than I thought. I was about to say hi but her look told me not to. She looked angry, or nervous. It was hard to tell because her expression kept changing. Then there were two of her as my eyes drifted again.
“Derpy, are you awake?” She looked around wildly as if she was in trouble. Had I made the mailbox owner mad? Was the princess in trouble because of me?
“I’m sorry, Twi I just-“
“Shhh.” She said in a strange voice. It was quiet and a little deeper than her normal voice. I got nervous. She didn’t sound like that, ever. “I need to prepare…”
“Oh uh, right the spell.” I saw her horn glowing purple and prepared to be “popped” out of the mailbox. It was actually a teleportation spell but it sounded and felt like a pop. Pop!
Only there was no pop. Her magic flowed out of her in a large bubble that surrounded us and the world looked funny and blurry outside. I didn’t know what she was doing at all and it scared me. Was she going to send me away for being a bad girlfriend that ruined too many mailboxes and took her away from her job too much? Was I being sent to the moon like Princess Celestia did to Princess Luna?
“T-twilight?!” I asked and looked for the shhing unicorn. But she was gone. Only her spell that surrounded me and .., socks? There was a pair of my striped sexy socks on the ground in front of me. We used them to tell each other we wanted some sexy time but both of us were too nervous to say it. We just had to make sure no pony or Spike was around and then march in front of the other wearing them.
Had she given them back to me? Had she accidentally turned herself into my socks?! She was always testing spells and things, they didn’t always go the way she planned during the testing.
“Twilight! Speak to me!” The socks didn’t move. What if she couldn’t turn back? I didn’t know magic and Doc was into science. I was stuck in a mailbox while my girlfriend turned into my socks! This was the worst time to be stuck!
I just had to keep breathing. I had set the stage now I just had to go through with it. I stood behind Derpy as the little pegasus screamed my name at her socks. I had hoped bringing them would tip her off on what I wanted to do but as usual she misunderstood. It was up to me to explain…everything. It was time to fess up.
“Derpy” I began.
“Oh good, you can talk,” she sighed in relief, still staring at her socks. “Do you know a spell to turn yourself back? Should I get Doc?”
Derpy tried to move to get help but only wiggled helplessly in the mailbox, making me more desperate in the process. It heightened my resolve. This was the best way, I was sure of it.
“I’m not your socks, Derpy, I’m behind you.”
“Oh thank goodness you’re ok. What’s going on? Are you ok?” She sounded so nervous, and scared for my well being. A lump filled my throat as I tried to talk further.
“I’m fi- no.. no I’m not ok Derpy, that’s why I’m doing this. I have to tell you something and I want you to listen carefully.” Here goes. “It’s part of the reason we’re dating.”
Derpy froze. She had been begging me to tell her the reasons I loved her and why we’re dating all this time. I told her most of them. She was funny, beautiful, knew how to love someone else so completely and saw the world so differently it was hard not to love her. But this, this I had kept to myself. A little secret no pony even Derpy knew until now.
“You see, honey, I-I told you all the reasons but this one… I can’t hold it back any more. Derpy.. I I love…your butt.” I said it. I said it to her finally. I didn’t know if she’d freak out or what.
“Huh?!”
Of course she didn’t get it. I just said I loved her butt, that really didn’t explain anything. I had to tell her the whole thing. Maybe a few times. Let’s see if she remembers this. “Derpy do you remember what the socks mean?”
“S-sexy time.”
“Yes but we had another agreement with them, remember?” Oh sweet Celestia, if she doesn’t remember I’ll feel awful about this.
“Oh! The uh.. hose thing!”
“I told you before there are kinks in hoses but not all kinks are about hoses.” At least she was close. She shifted uncomfortably in the box and the way her ass moved caused my nethers to burn more.
“Oh yeah! The sexy kinks… that one right? If we have a kinky thing we want to try we throw socks at each to tell them right?!” She seemed so proud she remembered that she forgot I just did that.
“Yes that.” I half hissed in embarrassment. “And the other pony can choose to do it or not, but we promised to at least try it once.”
“Yeah, as long as it’s nothing bad. And doesn’t hurt the other pony. So you were hoping that I found a kink so you brought me my socks to tell you?” She looked back at me, her face saying she did good remembering.
“Honey, I brought your socks because I have the kink I wanted to try.” I hoped it would be worth all the hassle but every shift of her rump was driving me wild. I needed to find out what it was like and if she would be ok with this … different part of me.
“Ooooh… what is it? Is it mailboxes?” She looked around confused.
“No. I just said how much I love your butt. I I’m an assmare. And every time you get stuck like this all I can think of is how great your butt looks sticking out of the mailbox. It makes me want to do things.. naughty things. And not only that but do them right here with all these ponies around.” I bit my lip and let the idea soak in.
“In in front of eveypony?! During the day?! Isn’t that … bad?!” She looked at the small group of ponies wandering around. Her eyes were so wide and innocent, I wanted to kiss that beautifully sweet face. But her butt shifted and I couldn’t ignore it much longer. I was leaking all over the road.
“The spell I cast was an invisibility spell. We can see them but they can’t see us. Unless they enter the circle which is kind of out of their way. But..” I glanced at the jiggling mound of gray fur and my face flushed. “But that’s the exciting part. I I think it’s hot to possibly get caught.”
“You.. you do?” Derpy looked at the ground, I couldn’t tell if she was disappointed in me or thinking about what I was asking. I felt awful for even bringing it up. Maybe we weren’t ready for this.. maybe I should have told her before she got stuck again. I just couldn’t take the temptation any more.
“Ok..” she finally said. My heart skipped a beat. Had she finally given me permission for this? Was this real? I fantasized about it every time she got stuck and I had finally gotten my wish.
“You’re ok with this Derpy?” I walked closer to her, my face red but eager. I stood in front of her face so I didn’t rush in and attack her ass before I knew for sure.
“If you like my butt that much and and you cast a spell no pony can see. Then I want to try it. You do all I want and more. I ask you for so much and I feel like I give you so little. If if this makes you happy, of course I’ll do it.” She reddened, looking around at the ponies walking by. “Can they hear us?”
“No,” I whispered in her ear. “Well if you’re not too loud. If you feel yourself about to moan you might have to do it quietly. That’s part of the fun.” I nibbled on her ear, one of her favorite spots. I needed to get her motor going.
“Ok. This is kind of exciting. Seeing all these ponies while I … get there…” she giggled but quickly blushed as I nibbled up her ear.
I had never seen Twilight so happy about sexy time. Sure she liked all we did and told me I was amazing and felt so good, but she never looked like that. So embarrassed and ready to explore me more. I felt like my heart was going to burst with joy. Maybe I should get stuck in more boxes.
Then she started on my ears. I sighed, it always felt so good. The world seemed so far away and her mouth felt so warm and soft. Her teeth traced the edge of my ear flap and I felt the bliss fill my body. Things were starting. Soggy things.
Then she kissed my lips and I felt the world spin for a moment. We kissed a lot but not like this. Her hoof brushed the side of my face and felt the fur there. Her lips opened, I matched it and felt her tongue slide along mine. They danced together in unison like a slippery couple in the heat of excitement.
Twilight had her eyes half opened, and looked like a hungry creature that was barely held back. What did my butt do to her and why didn’t she tell me before? If my butt was that sexy I might have to shake it more around her.
She broke the kiss and I gasped for breath. It stole it away, the Doc said kisses could do that. Then he said a lot of stuff about oxygen and lungs and things like that. I tried to reach Twilight again but was only able to touch her tail as she ran around behind me.
I wasn’t sure what she meant about really wanting my butt. I mean what can you do with a butt anyway? It wasn’t like my teats or… my special wet spot. It wasn’t as exciting when somepony touched it. So I was a little worried about Twilight’s plan for me. Looking around at the neighbors made it a little more scary. What if they saw or heard us?
I was looking right at Pinkie Pie as she bounced down the street. I could have sworn she was looking right at me, when I felt Twilight breath lightly on my cutie mark. Was that why she studied cutie marks? Cause she liked butts so much?
Then she licked it and I felt a shiver run from there, up my back and return to her lips. It wasn’t a bad shiver, just a tickly one. She kissed each bubble on my flank, sometimes pulling the fur into her mouth like a suckyfish. Then she’d roll her tongue around like the magic inside them was food.
It was so new, all I could do was gasp. I quickly put my hooves over my mouth as Pinkie Pie changed direction away from us. Did she see us? Was this spell working? She looked a little confused.
She started to kiss the cutie mark on the other side and I forgot to worry about the spell. It felt so good, like my bubbles were going to pop in her mouth. The feeling was similar to my special spot. It might pop too.
Twilight’s tongue wandered around trying to taste my cheeks. Then she nibbled at the biggest part. It was nothing like she’d ever done before. I felt like a fruit that she really liked and couldn’t help but eat. She started biting on my flanks and I held my breath. Each chomp was exciting, the feeling of the bubbles mixed with a little nip of pain. Not bad pain but a different pain than I ever felt. Something about it made me want to grab her face and stuff it between my legs. But I couldn’t reach. All I could do was shift and stretch my hind legs out, trying to find her.
“Is somepony getting excited?” Twilight said in a silly foalish voice. “She looks excited from here.. he he. Does some pony want more nibbles and bites on her beautiful ass?!”
“Y-yes.. it feels really good … I I didn’t know .. please show me more…” I wanted more. I wanted my girlfriend to explore and test every inch of me. She could find all the places that the good feelings were hiding and bring them out. I ached my back in the mailbox, my legs getting slippery from my wetness. She hadn’t ever done anything like this before.
“Ok, just remember, keep quiet…” she giggled and those lips found my butt again. My tongue rolled out of my mouth and the world around me was fuzzy.
Twilight
I couldn’t believe I was actually doing it. My dreams were coming true! As I bit at the crease of her ass I wondered where it all began. The only thing I could think of was my mentor, Princess Celestia. She was a large pony but more than that, her ass was huge. I don’t think it was really her I had a thing for but that butt remained in my mind for years.
Then I noticed it on my friends. Pinkie Pie had a gorgeous squishy butt and Fluttershy’s flanks looked like they were filled with the softest cotton. I really didn’t have feelings for either of them except a physical attraction to their rears.
Derpy on the other hoof was sweet, innocent, caring, and had the best ass in town, hooves down. It bounced as she walked but it wasn’t flabby. It had just the right amount of cushion. It squished when I pressed my hoof into it and bounced back to form with a satisfying jiggle. I loved my mare, and the ass just made it all that much sweeter.
I happily made my way to the crease of her leg, dancing my tongue along the edges with a little flick. I got just close enough to taste those juices I helped produce in her. Finally a sexual act I felt I was good at. So far it felt she always had such zeal that I couldn’t help but succumb to her advances. Now she was in my hooves. And I was, to borrow a Rainbow Dash phrase, rockin’ it.
Little squeaks came from her front end as I nibbled my way along the inner thigh. I was spiraling into the gooey center. Her pussy was winking like crazy and it opened like a mouth begging for food. I had to feed it.
I finally licked around the flowing edges, hearing the muted moans as my girlfriend must have put her hoof in her mouth. Next time maybe I’ll increase the strength of the noise dampening in the dome. But then the excitement that she’s fighting to keep quiet made me feel giddy and in control.
Then I mercilessly plunged my tongue between her straining lips. It immediately collapsed on me. Her inner walls squeezed like a python. I pushed through the coils, feeling them relax then tighten them relax again as the waves of pleasure ran through her. Her hips tried to buck my snout but she couldn’t in the mailbox.
I helped her out a little by grabbing those spongy haunches and pulling her further onto my face. It was like a warm, moist balloon filled pillow for my head. I thrust deeper, looking for that special spot I had read about.
My tongue found the gland I was looking for, pressing it as it swelled. The famous g-spot, something I had sought ever since she had found mine. Let’s see how she likes intense ecstatic pleasure running through her body, ha!
I continued to thrust on it, like she’s done to me so often, and felt the pressure in her loins building as she sped up her undulating. I knew she was about to burst but there was one more thing I needed to try.
I pulled my tongue out, watching her wiggle in agony. I heard a series of cute “hmmph? hmmph? hmmp?!” with each thrust. It was now or never. It was something I always wanted to try. Both receiving and giving. I cast a spell to make sure things were clean. I didn’t want it to be ruined by unexpected dirtiness.
I looked at her glistening donut, shaking as the vaginal juice seeped over it. It was the dirtiest thing I could think of and I wanted to show I was no slouch when it came to kinks. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind it and maybe want to try it on me.
I didn’t want to scare her so I licked the few inches in between the holes, trying to telegraph where I was heading. I don’t know if Derpy noticed my intent. She continued to squirm. I had to act fast or it would be too cruel.
I closed my eyes and worked my tongue around her anus, feeling the strange ringed muscle. Then I slid it in. It was nothing like her vagina. After the initial protective sphincter it was a vacant space. Like pushing through a crag to a large empty cave. I thrust in and out, running along the sensitive nerves of her ring. The effect was instant.
“Eeeeeeeeeeee!” She screamed. Not in pain or surprise, well maybe some surprise, but actual pleasure. My chin was soaked by a deluge of feminine juices that exploded from her pussy. I heard it dapple the road below.
I did it! I showed her my kink and it worked! I begrudgingly pulled back from that wonderful space and looked around. Derpy’s legs were twitching and her orgasm was running onto the ground. Her tongue hung out and her eyes were completely in different directions. I kissed her, bringing some recognition back to reality.
“Waaa, gah.. love … Twimie..” she muttered. I made sure we were safe. Most of the ponies walked around the street, completely unaware what just occurred. But there was one. One mare standing there with her mouth open in shock. She was inside the circle and I didn’t know what to say.
“Damn…” Lyra finally whispered. “Twilight, you’re nasty.”
“Uhh uhh.” I stammered, my mind frozen and lacking in any excuses I could use.
“It’s ok Twilight. I won’t say anything to anypony.” Lyra said with a smirk that suggested she knew more about this sort of thing than I ever imagined. “I didn’t think you had it in you. Derpy is a lucky mare. Gives me some fun ideas I have to tell Bon Bon about!”
She giggled and ran out of the protective bubble. Hastily I cast a cleaning spell and teleported my mare out of her prison. She flopped next to me, completely limp and cross eyed. I teleported us back to the castle to clean her up more and hoped she would recover soon. All that work made me want some Derpy loving myself.
Derpy
Mhmhmn. Gurbble bbumble humble. Mnmmnmmn…
