A Caffeinated Catastrophe

by Flameon_Heart

Rating: everyone
Tags: Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Pinkie Pie, Random, Human
Length: 1062

Pinkie tries caffeine for the first time and bends reality. Because why not?

What happens when you take the most hyperactive, rambunctious, and energetic mare in Ponyville, and give her access to caffeine for the first time in her life? Mrs. Cake learned this first hoof when she accidentally made some caffeine-filled coffee instead of her usual decaf. Come and watch in shock and dismay as Pinkie Pie bends space and time to her will on her caffeinated campaign.

Submitted for A Thousand Words Contest III in the Experimental Category

Published 2024-07-02 18:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-07-02 18:40:00 UTC

Coffee Conundrum

Author's Note

I wish I had thought this out more, but does anything Pinkie Pie related have to make sense? This is the event that gave her those 4th wall breaking abilities, so it's going to be a little weird. Just roll with it, and you'll have a good time. Maybe even a chuckle. Who knows?

Enjoy.

Coffee Conundrum

"Yaawwnn!" Mrs. Cake smacked her lips as she started down the stairs. She was looking forward to the morning because she had just bought some new coffee that she wanted to try. As she made her way toward the kitchen, she saw her husband in the nursery and her live in employee Pinkie behind the counter. With how hyper Pinkie could be, Mrs. Cake was glad she didn't need the caffeine herself. She could only dread what Pinkie would do with caffeine in her system.

The blue mare opened the new coffee and without looking emptied its contents into the kettle. She lit the stove and set the kettle down, before turning her attention toward making breakfast. Minutes passed before Mr. Cake and the twins walked into the kitchen. Before she could even say hello, Mr. Cake looked concerned. He walked to the trash and pulled out the package of coffee. "Dear...this is caffeinated coffee...not decaf." he said. Mrs. Cake's face turned to a mix of dread and confusion before they both heard something from behind them.

"Ooh, coffee!" The Cakes turned around just in time to see Pinkie Pie pouring a big cup from the kettle. Before either of them could scream NO Pinkie downed the cup in one gulp. The Cakes feared the worst, but Pinkie just smiled. "Mhmm! Thanks Mrs. Cakkkkk-" Suddenly, Pinkie's vision narrowed. Her vision blurred until all she saw was a vast array of colors. Pinkie felt like she was floating through space. She could smell shapes and hear colors, however THAT'S possible. Pinkie couldn't understand what was happening, but she soon felt her body being pulled downward. The force grew as she picked up speed, racing toward what seemed to be an empty void. As Pinkie hit the oncoming horizon she blinked and was suddenly out of the blank abyss.

Pinkie looked around, but what she saw confused her. She was no longer in Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie looked around to see she was in a strange room. The walls seemed to be covered in foam, like the kind the twins' beds were lined with. The floor was woolly and soft, unlike the terrain of Ponyville. Above her were pairs of strange lights that shone brightly. Pinkie tried to move but realized she wasn't on her hooves anymore. She looked down and screamed. In place of her pink coat stood something completely different. Pinkie no longer resembled a pony, but that of a lanky creature she had never seen. She was standing upright with only two appendages on the ground. She looked at her "hooves". They were long and slender and were a weird shade of beige. On the ends, the appendage grew into five stumps, each able to move on their own as Pinkie soon learned. They resembled those "hands" Twilight talked about from her time in the mirror world.

As she inspected her new form, she caught a glimpse of a mirror in the room and looked into it. Her face was different too! In place of her muzzle was a small, rounded face: A small nose, thin mouth, and tiny eyes. Her ears were at the side of her head and were smaller and more gangly too. Pinkie stared in bewilderment as she pondered what happened. Just then, the door to the room opened and startled Pinkie. Another lanky creature walked in and stopped before speaking. "Hey Andrea. How goes the voice work?"

Pinkie was shocked. She did not understand why she was called Andrea, but the thing that shocked her the most was that the other being sounded exactly like Rainbow Dash! "Rainbow Dash?! Is that really you??"

The being looked a little confused but smiled. "I like the enthusiasm! You play the role of Pinkie so well, Andrea." This time she sounded like Applejack! What the hay was going on!? "Well, I just wanted to drop off your coffee. I'll let you get back to work. See ya!" She set down a white paper cup atop the desk in front of Pinkie and walked back through the door, closing it behind her.

Pinkie couldn't understand what happened. Where was she? Why did she look like this? Who was Andrea and why did that other being sound like two of her friends?? There were so many questions, but being Pinkie Pie, she only thought of one thing to do. She wobbled over to the paper cup and picked it up and tried to grasp it with her new appendages. "If coffee is what got me into this mess, then surely it can get me out!" Pinkie raised the hot beverage to her mouth, and with a nervous gulp, began to chug the cup down her gullet. As she finished the drink, she stood there for a second. Nothing happened. As Pinkie began to worry, suddenly she felt her mind slow yet again. She wobbled around and her head felt light before she closed her eyes in pain. When she opened them again she was back in the void, but something was different. As she looked out into the horizon she could see many other scenes of the strange world she had found herself in. She also saw moments from her own life, like the Grand Galloping Gala! As these scenes passed her by she soaked in all that she saw. It must have been hours of watching before she finally felt the pull once again. Bracing herself, she closed her eyes once more as she hit the horizon.

Suddenly, she felt solid ground beneath her, and could hear the Cakes as her hearing and sight recovered. "Pinkie!? Are you okay?!" Mrs. Cake looked at the mare worriedly. Pinkie sat up and said she was fine. She would later be told she was out cold for hours. As Pinkie assured them she was fine, she wandered off back toward the kitchen. From then on, Pinkie bent reality to her will, and it all stemmed from her time in that other realm.