The alchemy lab was dark save for the dim light over the table on which some freshly manufactured materials were sitting and the colorful glow emanating from the six glass vessels holding the magically charged fluids I was currently working with. Each had a tube feeding into a pump that then fed to a large flat basin we used to create crystals or weak gems. While gems were natural bodies of magic, crystals like what we made couldn't hold magic for extended periods, but they were great for carrying magical currents from one gem to another—a real resource and time saver.

But I wasn't aiming for crystals or gems today.

As the red flask came to a boil and shifted to a dull yellow, I switched on the pump and leaned on the table over the basin, watching as the fluids began to drip and mix.

Then I squawked and all but threw myself back, having realized I wasn't wearing a face mask and nearly got a face full of wacky fumes. As I scrambled to the supply rack where a man-shaped mask and pony-shaped mask were hanging, the door beside it slid open. Jury came trotting in with a smile before glancing over at me and scowling.

"I told you to be careful about that," she huffed. I waved a hand at her as I slipped my mask on.

"And I remembered just in time," I replied as she rolled her eyes and lit up her horn. "And besides, you were popping in anyhow, so you would've found and saved me." Her own mask slipped off the wall and drifted over to her as she reared up on the table and joined me in watching the process once the mask was she had her mask on.

"How's that remote camera coming?" I asked once we were at the table, tilting my head as the pump made a quiet, but familiar squeal. Jury's ear twitched and she turned toward me.

"Remote what?" She murmured before perking up. "Oh! The mobile observer! Good! I just sent it out to look at some stuff along the coast, so we'll see how stable its imaging is soon."

"Fantastic," I replied with a nod, leaning back as the pump began to rattle. The fluid was swirling together in the basin and shifting between several hues. Jury turned her attention back to the setup.

"What about you? Have you figured out alchemizing magic-resistant material yet? This looks like it's going great!" She chirped before recoiling when the pump stopped pumping, at which point I bent over and pulled her back.

"No, unfortunately. The setup keeps-" Before I could continue, the pump squealed and its top burst off. At the same, a purple bolt of energy danced across the basin and up the tubes into the other vessels, causing them all to burst into a frothing mess, bubble up, and then settle as an ugly brown foam. At the same time, the magically powered lights flipped on for a few seconds before slowly going dark. "Doing that. Which is also why I needed this secluded room to work in so that it doesn't spread to the rest of the facility." I gestured to the pile of ruined glass, ruined machinery, and soaked rags beside the table before setting her down with a sigh.

"Darn," she grumbled. We stood in frustrated silence as the foam quietly sizzled and I folded my arms.

"Chrysalis' throne must've been natural," I finally sighed, causing Jury to tilt her head at me.

"Huh? Chrysalis?" She said.

"Something Starlight mentioned a ways back," I replied with a shrug before moving to the supply rack for a fresh rag and gloves. "The changelings used to have this wacky throne in their hive made from a rock that nullified all nonchangeling magic."

"Spooky," Jury murmured, tapping her chin as I began the rough clean-up process, sweeping the debris to the side.

"You're telling me. It apparently even worked on Discord," I paused and scowled at the ruined fluid pump. "But I'm getting nowhere trying to recreate it." Jury hopped forward and bumped my leg.

"Aw, don't say that! Look at it like this," she reared up and gestured at the pump. "If the magic in our equipment is getting sizzled too, doesn't that mean you are nullifying all magic? Technically?" She offered me some kind of expression that was obscured by her mask, but which seemed to be an attempt at reassurance.

"That's a way of looking at things, yes," I replied with a shrug before wagging a finger at the table. "But not very useful for our situation." Jury hummed and considered the mess for a moment.

"Well, we've only seen the Storm King's army use lightning so," she clapped her hooves together and looked up at me. "What if we just focused on resisting lightning for now?"

"I thought about that, and already have a few working samples complete," I replied, idly gesturing to the finished material on the other table before folding my arms. "It's that unicorn of his that's got me worried." Jury considered the samples for a moment before humming.

"Well, if the observer works, we might be able to use it to find her, and, I dunno," she shrugged and tilted her head at me. "Make sure we never bump into her?"

"Maybe," I replied before leaning on the table with a sigh. "Man, we need to rebuild the flying machine."

"They've breached the perimeter!" One of the storm beast guards yelled from his watch tower. He scrambled to the opposite side and leaned out to yell into the quarry. "The lightning guns aren't doing anything!" He turned back and recoiled upon coming face-to-lens with the remote observer I had hovering just behind him. Before he could swat at it with his club, I had it zip out of the way and begin hovering over the quarry.

Just as he'd said, to my immense satisfaction and Jury's unrestrained, squealing glee, our animunculi were now tearing down the outer fence of the quarry we'd attempted to raid not too long ago. At the same time, the watch towers attempted to pelt the horde with their lightning machines, only for the electric discharge to wash over them with no effect.

The crew of the airship we were targeting this time were scrambling to get their vessel airborne but were too slow and our golems began swarming over the side. Strangely, the second the first few machines were on deck, the storm beasts shared a look before diving off the opposite side, leaving the ship undefended.

"Works for me," I snorted before thrusting my hand forward. "Let's go claim our prize!"

"Yes sir!" Jury cheered, slamming her hooves on the controls and sending us rocketing forward. As we approached, I quickly sent out a command on my glove and directed the horde to begin toppling the guard towers. As they obeyed, I pulled my coat back and checked the talismans I'd brought with me: A few fully charged blasting spells, my spell sword, a general-purpose shield and one specifically for lightning, a telekinesis spell, something for short-range gravity control, and finally a few small vials of a substance that exploded into thick clouds of smoke.

Even with our golems, there was always a chance someone or something would have a chance to take a swing at me, after all.

For the moment, however, none of it seemed necessary as the Bedlam Buggy was able to tear right into the quarry's perimeter undeterred. As Jury drove us toward the ship and around the open pit, I scanned our surroundings, watching as our animunculi proved themselves able to compete with the storm beasts in raw strength.

Many beasts had their claws locked with individual golems as each pair tried to overpower the other to little effect. However, our golems were living weapons, with blasting talismans instead of claws. And so, as they struggled, the moment a given golem noted their blaster was lined up with their opponent, they started shooting.

A very interesting phenomenon then presented itself. The magic bolts they were shooting only seemed to deal damage to the bare flesh and fur of the storm beasts. If instead, the bolts hit their armor, the magic actually ricocheted off harmlessly.

"Iggy's got his own alchemy racket going, it seems," I thought. "Or he's found a natural source for magic-resistant metal."

"Stop right there!" Came a rumbling voice that snapped my attention forward. One of the storm beasts was standing in the path of our buggy with a big, two-handed sledgehammer at the ready. Jury and I shared a look as we rolled toward him before I drew and hurled a smoke potion at him. The vial shattered against his armor and spread a thick cloud of smoke all around him, as it was supposed to. As the beast fell into a coughing fit, he was suddenly silenced when we simply ran him over.

"So potion-based magic still works on contact with their armor," I mused aloud as the buggy steadied and rolled on. Glancing back, I watched as a few golems entered the smoke and fell upon the poor idiot. "Good to know."

"There he is!" I rolled my eyes and looked forward again to see a.. bird person emerging from the quarry via one of the ramps. He had a worn-out pick pointed my way and a confident smile plastered on his face. "He's the one leading the raid!" I raised an eyebrow as several other creatures emerged and cheered my way.

"We're saved!" A cat person, from Abyssinia I think, called. The group clamored out and came racing to meet us, causing Jury and I to share a look. I turned back toward them and leveled my blasting talisman at them. The bird man's feathers went white and they all scrambled over each other, narrowly avoiding getting shot by several bolts of magic.

"Creatures all day today," Jury grumbled, shaking her head. We didn't bump into any more roadblocks until we finally arrived at the airship. Sending out a command to the nearby golems aboard and around the ship, they quickly surrounded us.

"Heave!" I commanded. In response, the golems began hauling the buggy up and then carefully deposited us aboard the ship. We both hopped out of the buggy and set about getting enough golems gathered to crew the ship. I turned to Jury as I sent out several commands. "So, now that you're aboard, you think you can fly this thing?" She looked around the deck and over the side before turning to face me with a smile.

"Looks pretty similar to some of the Equestrian military's designs, so I think so!" She chirped before pointing at a few places. "Have some animunculi there and there to get those ropes pulled taut!"

"Wait!" I paused and glanced over the side at the bird man from before as he came racing toward us, followed by his friends and pursued by a few storm beasts. "Take us with you!"

"No," I called back and blasted him. The bolt nailed him in the chest and he threw himself back with a squawk. His chums came to a halt and looked at me in horror.

"What kind of freedom fighter are you?!" A pig woman cried as she tried to help her pal to his feet. I smiled and began sending out commands to our crew.

"I'm not!" I retorted as the storm beasts fell upon them. The last they saw of me before they were overwhelmed was as the ship began to rise and I hung off the side by one of the support ropes. I swept my arm out toward them. "I'm just Bedlam! Be grateful I'm only here for the ship!" I cackled aloud as the ship rose above even the guard towers and slowly turned to sail away.

As we flew, I watched the battle continue to roll on back at the quarry, and noted that even with reduced numbers our horde was able to hold its own against the guards. This was especially pleasing to see as we hadn't mustered half as many machines for this raid as we could have. I chortled quietly before striding up beside Jury at the helm.

"Ah, Jury, the future is looking bright," I declared as she continued to operate the peculiar mechanism that guided the ship. While our vehicles worked using magic stones, circuits, and wiring, this vessel seemed to use a mix of steam, gears, and lightning magic exclusively. Jury paused in her operation to look up at me.

"Do you think we can deal with his armada with only one ship?" She asked with one ear back. I laughed again and swept a hand toward the deck where all our golems were hard at work.

"One can become many! If nothing else, we can use this as a mothership to deploy drones from and use those to capture other ships," I explained, my mind already envisioning modifications we could make to the ship to facilitate such a purpose. "Having a platform at an even altitude with our targets will make guiding our machines much easier, after all."

"Well, well~, sounds like you've just got it all figured out, don't you?" A faintly familiar female voice came from above and sent ice up my spine. Jury and I whirled around in tandem and looked up to see the Storm King's attack unicorn hanging from the underside of the balloon and leering back at us. I grimaced at the sight and she adjusted herself before falling onto the deck right in front of us. Jury squeaked and hid behind me as the unicorn stood up straight and locked eyes with me, adopting a subdued, self-satisfied grin as she did.

"How the hell," I huffed, slowly turning my hand away so she couldn't see me sending a command. "Where'd you come from?"

"Atop the balloon, silly," she replied plainly, looking me up and down. Then she glanced off to the side as the golems paused in their work and began encircling us.

"Ah," I said before folding my arms and smirking at her. "Alright, second question; why were you atop the balloon?" I bent forward at the hips to meet her eye level and to hide the fact I was reaching for a talisman and switching on my shield. She hummed and her eyes drifted from one golem to another and then back to me as they surrounded our position.

"Well for one thing, from what Verko's told me about you, I guessed you were something of a tinkerer," she explained, looking me up and down again. "The type who experiments and tests things." She began slowly pacing side-to-side.

"So I had a hunch that little raid you attempted wasn't going to be a one-time thing, and it maybe wasn't even something you intended to succeed," she continued just as I grabbed my blasting talisman and gravity talisman. My eyes snapped from her to the ring of golems and I stood up straight, hiding my weapons and hands under my coat. "I had a hunch you were testing how well your clanking warband fared against His Excellency's defenses." She paused and looked up at one of the golems with an even stare. I gently nudged Jury with my foot, urging her back.

"Horn or not, she's still a unicorn," I thought, sizing her up. "And of course, she's got some of that magic-proof armor on." I tightened my grip on my blasting talisman before considering the gravity spell.

"Then again, I didn't get a chance to test how indirect spells work against that material, did I?" I mused.

"But why here? Why this dumpy little quarry?" She continued, tilting her head. "Surely if you were just comparing soldiers you could have tried raiding one of his strongholds, right?" Glancing back, I saw Jury scrambling away from our position for cover behind the buggy. Looking forward again, I thrust my gravity talisman forward.

"ATTACK!" I cried, unleashing my spell at the same time. The magic pulsed out in a straight line toward her and once it was directly underneath her, I slammed the talisman down with all my might. Ordinarily, the motion would cause the point the spell was touching to be crushed under a huge amount of sheer gravity, incapacitating whatever was caught by it.

This time, however, as I bent forward from the motion, I was met, face-to-face, with her.

Maybe it was a time dilation effect. After all, gravity affects time! But whatever the cause, everything seemed to slow down. I watched helplessly as she leaped back away from me and brought her two rear hooves up to my face level. At the same time, all the golems opened fire on the point she'd been at previously, implying she was faster than they could keep up with. Which was neat! Except for the fact she then kicked me in the face and backflipped off of me.

My shield absorbed the blow of course, but boy howdy, did I sail. In fact, the next thing I knew, I was suddenly brought to a stop by the rim, or gunwale, or whatever it's called at the bow of the ship. Or was it the stern? The front and completely opposite from where the helm was.

I sharply exhaled a breath I didn't realize I was holding and looked around in a mild daze before noticing her again.

"A clever creature like you surely had something else he was after, and if I had to guess it'd be the one thing His Excellency possessed that you don't," she explained, right in front of me, before gesturing to the rest of the ship. I heaved another breath and moved to stand before she pressed her hoof against my chest and pinned me against the ship rim. "What's wrong, Bedlam? Not used to being read like an open book?" I grimaced and then gawped as she pressed harder and faint cracks formed in my shield.

"What the hell ARE you?" I mentally screamed.

"Don't worry! There's still plenty about you I haven't figured out," she cooed before pushing harder and causing the shield to break. The second her hoof grazed my actual chest she leaned in close. "And I intend to peel those secrets out of you. Slowly." Unstable blue magical lightning danced up her broken horn as she smiled. Staring at her in horror, I momentarily glanced past her and held up a hand.

"Wait?" I squeaked. She actually paused and tilted her head.

"Wait?" Then she flinched and kicked back just as Jury tried to tackle her. Despite the fact her hoof nailed Jury in the throat, drawing a squeaking wheeze from her, I managed to roll out from under her grip and took a hasty shot at her unarmored head with my blasting talisman.

She ducked the bolt.

Fascinating.

Hurling my blasting talisman at her, I drew my spell sword and leveled it at her. She spun around and kicked the talisman back at me.

Or so she thought! The fool! The buffoon! The ignorant pony! Her hoof nailed the gem array straight on and caused it to shatter.

"Idiot!" I cackled as the talisman exploded on her. She recoiled with a shout allowing me to rush for Jury as the golems came running toward her. "Just as planned!" I scooped up Jury and raced for the buggy, drawing my telekinesis talisman, and leaping into the driver's seat.

"Bedlam!" The unicorn screamed as my golems fell upon her. At the same time, I switched on the buggy and sped towards the edge of the ship.

"B-HAgh! Bedlam!" Jury squawked, massaging her throat and hugging me tight while looking forward with terror in her eyes. "What are you doing?!"

"Did you see what she did to my shield?" I cried as we smashed through the side of the ship, drawing a horrified squeal from Jury. "Those flimsy golems don't stand a chance!"

Sure enough, even over Jury's steadily increasing scream of terror as we began to fall, I could hear the noise of my machines being pounded apart. Ignoring all of that, I aimed my talisman at the buggy and switched it own, grabbing the whole vehicle in a telekinetic field. The talisman immediately started crackling and hissing from the strain, but it would probably hold up long enough for me to lower us to the ground.

Jury heaved a sigh of relief and melted into my lap as we descended away from the one-horse warzone aboard the ship. Strangely, even as we approached the ground, I could still hear the noise of her battle. Jury sat up and we both shared a look before glancing up at the ship.

"What in god's name is she?" I huffed.

"Really freaking scary," Jury replied before her ear twitched and she looked to the side. "Oh! And she's on the screen!" I blinked and looked over to see Jury reaching for the control and screen for our remote observer golem. Seems we left it aboard the ship and it was now hovering and watching one seriously pissed-off purple unicorn tear through our machines like putty. We watched the video for a few seconds until we touched down on the ground, at which point Jury cleared her throat.

"Sooo, monitor her with the observer and never bump into her again?" She offered.

"Agreed."

Author's Note

She's smart. She's sharp. She's deadly. She's the perfect body guard for any would be world conqueror.