BEDLAM Minus One

"Hoh! How about that? Wait 'till Jury gets a load of this," I giggled as I looked over the hovercraft blueprints Flim and Flam had given me. They were steamed when I stole the working model they built for me, but now that I'd dumped all that money I stole from Manehattan in their laps, we were gravy again. Not that I'd need much more from those two, but this innovation in magical flight with no other means of propulsion was too rich to pass up!

Hell, the thing hadn't even received a charge in days and it was still able to just hover this high up with no issues while I read the brother's plans. And once Jury gets her hooves on this? Hoh hoh.

"You're first on my list Iggy," I chortled through my teeth. "We'll see how grand that glorified pirate fleet of yours is when my machines-" The hovercraft rocked as something dropped in behind me.

"For a glorified petty thief, you're hardly one to be deriding anyone for thinking too much of themselves." I laughed aloud and looked over my shoulder at my unwelcome passenger.

"Hello, Discord," I purred. The draconequus was lounging in the wide rear seat with his claws behind his head. He either wasn't in range or didn't notice the spectacular danger he was in. If the latter was true, it confirmed my theory that what I'd made was practically undetectable. "How'd they convince you to come after me?"

"Fluttershy begged me to finally put an end to your little tantrum," he yawned. "And when they told me you've stooped to bank robbery, well!"

He draped his arm over his forehead. "As a former A-list villain, I couldn't bear the idea of allowing you to go on ruining the craft," he gave me an unimpressed leer. "Honestly, villains used to have standards."

I snorted. "Who asked?" I stood up and stretched. "But! I know when I'm licked."

"Not even going to try one of your silly toys?" Discord groaned and slithered to his hooves. "Fine! I guess I'll just-"
I whirled around. "Apprehend me! Yes," he flinched and raised an eyebrow at me. I held my wrists out and grinned wide. "Go ahead. Take me in." For a delicious few moments, the quiet hum of the hovercraft and the gentle breeze were the only sounds.

Discord looked me up and down. "What?" I thrust my wrists at him, causing him to recoil and hold up a claw.

"Go on! Apprehend me!" My grin widened and my breathing intensified. He took a step back onto the edge of the craft.
"Wh-" He scowled and narrowed his eyes. "What have you done?"

I gasped and brought a hand to my chest. "Why! Surely nothing that could perturb the Great Discord," I bowed to him with my other hand outstretched. He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he snapped his claw. Or at least tried to. Instead, as his talons snapped, he hissed and then threw his head back. "YEEEEOW!" He tumbled back and nearly fell, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back in.

"Careful!" I leaned in close. "It's an awful long way down." He hissed and clutched the arm I had.

"What- AH- What IS this?!"

I chortled hard and opened my coat, revealing a gemless talisman hanging off my belt that was currently glowing bright. "I heard about your little escapade in the Changeling Hive from Starlight," I hummed, basking in the terror the almighty spirit wore. "Some ancient rock was able to neutralize even your magic." My smile widened and I laughed.

"So! I figured since I can already use alchemy for all kinds of fun stuff, and I can already duplicate spells with gems, why not see if I could alchemize something similar to the changeling throne?" His eyes went wide. "Now, making something that neutralizes all magic we found wasn't feasible. That throne must have been naturally occurring since all our attempts ruined our magically powered equipment. But against one specific type of magic? A type that already has proved to have very specific counters?"

I huffed and pulled him into a one-armed hug. "A magic you're always showing off and giving everyone plenty of chances to collect data on? Hoh hoh!" I pressed my forehead to his. "That might just work."

I slid through the front door of Jury and my headquarters on my heel. Responding to my presence, the golem serving staff whirred to life and held up their arms in salute. "Jury! I'm home~," I chirped as I strode forward between the golems. Behind me, the newly acquired hovercraft was carried inside by a team of loading golems I'd summoned out upon arriving. Moments later, and just following an excited squeal that echoed from further inside, Jury came galloping down the corridor to meet me.

"Welcome back!" She cried as she dove right in front of me. Taking a moment to catch her breath and admire the new ship, she fixed me with a concerned frown. "Did you bump into- You-know-who?" I snorted a laugh in response.

"Sure did! Went pretty well actually," I declared, snapping my fingers and reaching into my coat to grab the blueprints I'd gotten from Flim and Flam. "Discord even popped up." She huffed and raised a hoof.

"And since you're here," she hummed before beaming. "I assume that means our stability runes work?"

"Correct!" I chirped, causing her to leap up and clap her hooves.

"Yay!" She cheered before pausing and tilting her head. "Wait. What'd you do to Discord, then?"

"Ah, I just persuaded him to cover my escape is all," I said as I pulled out the papers.

"Hold on, Discord!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she took off at full speed after the helpless draconequus currently tied to a cluster of drones. The rest of the Element-bearers lagged far behind due to the sheer speed of the drones.

"For the love of Equestria, stop this crazy thing!" Discord screamed back as he struggled against both the chains holding him down and the spare charm Bedlam had pinned him with, neutralizing his magic. The cluster banked hard to the right and went careening down into a low canyon which was then filled with Discord's echoing screams for help.

"Anyhoo, take a look at this!" I said, rustling the stack of papers at Jury. She blinked before examining them.

"Oooh," she purred as she leafed through each sheet slowly. A familiar smile crept onto her face. "Bedlam, my gears are turning~."

"As expected," I hummed a laugh before frowning and snapping my fingers, causing her to stand up straight. "But before we can get to work, I want a status report."

"Huh?" She murmured, tilting her head for a moment before perking up. "Oh! Right, so Tempest has the Storm King convinced that she's hot on our trail and is busy uprooting us at every turn." She folded the papers and held them to the side in her magic as she gestured with her hooves.

"I let her put on a show of smashing a few golems here and there to sell the story," she explained before searching her person and then frowning. "She also took the liberty of giving me a few maps of the Storm King's territories we can work with." Rubbing her chin, she finally hummed and nodded before gesturing for me to follow her as we now made our way toward one of the workshops. Halfway there, she perked up again.

"Oh! She also said he just got ahold of some information on a magic item he's been hunting for," she added, tilting her head as she trotted along. "The Staff of Sacanas, I think it was." I raised my eyebrows at her report.

"Oh?" I hummed, tilting my head back in thought. "That's the one that sucks up latent magic power, right?"

"Yep! He's planning on using it to invade Equestria and steal the alicorns' magic!" She declared with a fervent nod. I paused for just a moment before smirking.

"Oh, really? We'll see about that," I chuckled darkly as we turned into the workshop. Inside and on one of our tables, Jury presented the maps Tempest had delivered to us. "Anything else?" I began shifting them around and glanced at Jury, who shook her head at my question.

"Brilliant," I purred before nodding at the maps. "Well! Let's not waste any more of her time!" I turned and gestured to the blueprints Jury had.

"Let's sharpen the pin to stick in our dear tyrant," I added with a toothy grin.

It took a month and a half of communication through proxies and letters, but we were finally having our peace talk after almost a year of petty skirmishes. He'd done the hard part of clearing this little valley of any potential nuisances, leaving me to bring the table and chairs. He'd done a predictably shoddy job, as there were plenty of buzzing insects creeping through the tall grass around us.

"Hello, Ignatius!" I called and waved. The grey-skinned satyr leaped up from his seat and pounded his fists on the table.

"THE STORM KING! JUST. THE STORM KING," Iggy roared. He thrust three fingers at me. "THREE WORDS! EASY! Rolls off the tongue! For crying out loud!" He threw his white-furred head back into his hands, clenched his teeth, and screeched.

Then, he sat down, neatly folded his hands on the table, and smiled. "So! How's every little thing?" I smiled back and scanned the line of yeti-like Storm Beast officers just behind him who were scowling and beating their weapons into their hands. Tempest, just to his left, snorted at me when she met my eyes. I looked over my shoulder at Jury-rig who gulped at the sight of the large creatures.

"Hey," I looked up at Iggy, who now wore an annoyed glower. "You wanted to talk, so talk."

He knit his fingers together and rested his chin on them. "You finally ready to become my commander and lend me those super keen robots?"

I smiled and folded my hands on the table. "No."

He scowled and leaned back in his seat. "So what then?"

"You're canceling the invasion of Equestria I heard you've been planning." He flinched held a hand over his mouth and then turned to his commanders who met his look with fearful ones of their own.

Then they started cackling. As they did, some of the grass shuddered and the insects went silent or flew away. I smiled as Iggy wiped a tear and shook his head.

He pointed a finger at Tempest. "Last time I listen to you," he sighed and kicked his feet up onto the table. "Canceling huh? Why's that?"

"It's mine. Rest of the planet is too, but that's a later thing. So, I'm fine with you bumming around the rest of the world for a little longer."

"Pfft! OH-kay!" He chortled and jabbed his thumb at me while looking at a commander. "You believe this guy?" The grass shuddered again.

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"Okay!" He slammed his hands on the table and stood. "Here's what's really going down." His commanders began to file out and encircle the table, making their way to me. Jury whimpered and grabbed my arm.

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Some of his commanders stopped and looked around the field. Tempest stared straight ahead at me while Iggy paced his end of the table. "You're coming with me back to the Storm Isles where you're going to whip up some of those fancy drones of yours! Or just about anything else I need," he whirled around and jabbed a finger at Jury. "And she's going to the mines." Jury cried out as he raised his finger before scowling and looking around.

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"The heck is that sound?"

I smiled. "Incentive." What followed stuck with me for months.

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"HEEEAYGH" Iggy squealed and threw himself over. Jury also cried out and buried her face in my sleeve while Tempest shuddered at the sight of the commanders suddenly collapsing with smoking bloody holes in their skulls. A few of them continued to writhe, including Iggy who was screaming and clutching his face.

"No time for regrets," I thought. With a shuddering breath, I shook off the sight of my work as well as Jury and rushed around the table.

"That's amazing!" I chirped as I loomed over his moaning form. "There's enough explosive glue in these to pop a hole in a steel helmet! And yet all your heads are still on. I knew Storm Beasts were tough, but woo lad!"

He rolled over and looked up at me with his one remaining eye, his hand clutching his blasted face. "Temp- AH- Tempest!" He shook his hand at me. "K-kill- Kill him!" I smiled and leered back at Tempest, who scanned the injured and dying commanders before humming.

"I don't know, Your Excellency," she said as she slowly moved to my side. "I think we might be outgunned on this one. My mistake."

Iggy winced and moaned. "You- houuu.. What?" He looked between us as Tempest smiled down at him and then pointed a finger at her. "You.. You set this meeting up.. Con- urr... Convinced me to.. When did he?"

"Cornered her in Klugetown while she was on patrol," I explained with my hands folded behind my back. "But Jury was keeping an eye on her for way before that. Part of how I figured out why she was working for you."

"What can I say? He made a compelling argument about switching sides," she leaned in. "And he actually had something tangible to back up his promise." I chortled as Iggy gurgled and rested his head on the ground.

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He clenched his remaining teeth and looked at me. "What.. What is that?" I smiled and held up my hand before inputting a sequence on my gem-covered glove. As I unfolded my hand, a very tiny circular disk came hovering in and rested in my palm. All around me, a dozen or so rose from the grass and flew in a circle around us. Jury came up and sat down on the table just next to me, and looked up with pride at our work.

"You've seen my drones. You know roughly how they work. Big ol' propellors spinning to keep them afloat," I bent at the knees and held the drone in my palm to him. "These on the other hand use magic to fly. And since magic has no size relative to its power, we can make 'em tiny and hard to see. Like a swarm of wasps! Then we can fill them with something nasty, like poison or alchemically produced explosives! Just gotta set 'em up with a deployment method then."
I turned the drone over to display the top of it. "In this case, they just ram you topside first, where this firing pin is," I grinned. "POP." His snarled lip quivered and he groaned.

I stood up and looked at the drone in my hand. "'Course, they still got that little range problem all my animunculi suffer from. Have to be close to give them new orders or change old ones, but that flaw won't be an issue soon. Especially now with your resources at my disposal."

I looked him in the eye and smiled. "We're going to ride out and let your boys know how things are now. They work for me," I closed my hand before flinging the drone into the air. It bobbed for a minute before correcting itself and hovering in a circle around me. "Shouldn't be too hard, but on the off chance there's anyone out there who actually cared about you, we got these little beauties to HAH help 'em clear their heads."

"W-" Four more drones circled me and then went still, lining up with his face. He whimpered and held up his hand. "Wait!"

"I'm not stupid, Iggy," I bent over him and the drones followed. "I never liked you, but I just never had a chance to really put a pin in you. That's done and over, and y'know what's so poetic and rich about that?" I held up my hand, my thumb pressed against my index and middle fingers.

"So are you."

Snap.

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