BEDLAM Minus One

"Thank you all for coming, everypony," Celestia said, descending from her throne with a severe look and her sister and niece at her sides. Just before her seat were the Elements of Harmony and Starlight Glimmer, who all wore anxious faces. Except for Twilight and Starlight, the former of whom had a weary air about her and the latter wore a firm scowl leveled at the eldest Alicorn.

"Twilight said you guys might have an idea who that Bedlam guy is that the papers are all talking about," Rainbow said, pointing at Twilight, who averted her gaze. Celestia nodded once she and the other alicorns were level with the group.

"We do, and unfortunately as we explained to Twilight, we believe it may have something to do with Edward Bedford," she replied. Twilight quietly grunted while her friends gasped.

"Eddy Beddy? He's been missing for weeks!" Pinkie cried.

"Indeed, and the time frame for his disappearance matches that of this unidentified figure's sudden involvement in Equestria's underbelly," Luna explained with a sharp look in her eye.

"I knew it," Starlight quietly hissed, shaking her head with an unrestrained growl while Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. Celestia raised an eyebrow at the pair before she spoke again.

"Unless I'm mistaken, 'Bedlam' is the most common mispronunciation of Edward's surname," she explained, tilting her head back in thought. "Considering the circumstances he fled under, is it so hard to imagine that he would-"

"You can't be serious! Eddy's missing, not some organized crime lord!" Starlight yelled, stomping forward and jabbing her hoof at Celestia causing everyone else to shrink back in shock. "I'll tell you what's happening. One of the numerous ponies we know hated his guts is probably pulling strings to make us think he's a criminal." Luna scowled at her display.

"What evidence do you have to support that?" She demanded. Starlight rolled her eyes at the question.

"The fact that at least one pony who hates him is a very influential Canterlot noble? And said noble was all too eager to have him arrested previously?" She replied with an angry nicker. "How about the fact Eddy hates being called Bedlam? Did you ever factor that into your profile?" She yelped as Twilight pulled her back with magic and leveled an annoyed glare at her.

"We agreed we'd address this reasonably," she said firmly before stepping towards Celestia with a sigh. "She has a point, though. I understand Eddy fled after violating your orders and he was obviously under a lot of mental stress, but you can't seriously think he's turned around and gotten involved with the low-lives of Equestria. Can you?" Celestia furrowed her brow and considered her former student's words for a moment.

"There is also the fact that the mare he conspired with was either abducted by him or left of her own accord," Luna added with a severe tone.

"Yeah, after you arrested her and then stationed a guard at her house twenty-four-seven," Starlight grumbled. Twilight groaned and leveled a glare back at her, while Luna snorted. Starlight shook her head and turned for the door. "Look, you need Twilight and the girls to help with this crime wave, but I'm betting they can handle it without me."

"And where are you going?" Luna demanded as the rest of the group watched her leave.

"Trixie wanted to hang out at the lake," Starlight spat as she pushed through the door. "I'd rather spend time with my friends than listen to you slander them."

As the Manehattan taxi carriages rumbled to and fro, with occasional insults and jeers being thrown from rival carriage ponies, no one paid any mind to the lone pegasus mail stallion touching down just before a corner pizza shop. Without any hesitation save taking a moment to dig through his saddlebag for a parcel, the mail pony pushed through the door and approached the sole inhabitant, an earth pony in an apron sweeping the floor. Said pony shot a fiery glare at his guest before his expression softened.

"Hey, hey," the earth pony chuckled. "Still not used to these weekly visits."

"You 'n me both," the pegasus replied as he trotted up the earth pony. "But boy howdy, ain't it grand?" He set the parcel he'd fished out on a table beside the earth pony, and as he did, his wing bristled and an envelope fell to the floor before being swept into a dustpan.

"Oh, for sure! Business is booming," The shopkeeper laughed as he scooped up the dustpan and trotted for the back of the store, followed by the mail pony. Both stallions slipped through the swinging kitchen doors and then passed on to the store room at the very back of the building. Inside, another earth pony with protective sleeves on his hooves was hard at work, crushing a pile of light blue wilted flowers on a table.

"Why in Tartarus does Big Earner need powdered Poison Joke?" The pony huffed. "This junk makes my bones itch."

"Who knows!" The shopkeeper replied, rearing up on the table and ripping the envelope open with his teeth. Several small golden rings with platinum studs rolled out. "But he's paying pretty dang well for it."

"Yeah, well, why don't he ask Bedlam for it?" The worker huffed, shaking his head. "I hear the freak lives in the Everfree, for crying out loud."

"That's just a rumor," the pegasus replied, watching the shopkeeper as he carefully counted the rings and their studs. "I heard he actually lives on the moon."

"I heard that too!" The shopkeep gasped, looking up and pointing at the pegasus. "He's an alien from another planet! That's where he got all those crazy machines from!"

"Well, gee, you boys sure know a lot more about him than I do!" Another voice interjected. The three jumped and whirled around to see a light purple unicorn mare casually approaching them.

"Who the heck are you?!" The shopkeep roared as the worker galloped around the table and adopted a low, wide stance.

"Aw, c'mon, Jumble. Don't you recognize me?" She chirped, shooting the shopkeeper a smile. "'I need a few dozen tons of lumber and money is no object?' Huh? Huh?" Jumble, the shopkeeper, blinked before gasping.

"Hey, yeah! I remember you!" He cried, leaping from the table and jabbing a hoof at her. "You're that mare we shipped all those building supplies to way back when! Said you needed discretion."

"Who?" The pegasus huffed. The worker however shook his head and turned to Jumble.

"Hold up! You talking about the nut who was setting up that remote commune or whatever?" He asked at which his boss nodded. He recoiled and laughed before turning to her. "No kidding? I heard you got busted."

"More or less," the mare said with a sigh. "It's Starlight, by the way." Jumble laughed and shook his head as the four ponies approached each other.

"Well shucks! What in the heck do you want now?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "You on the run or something?" Starlight beamed and brushed her hoof against her chest.

"Nope! I'm perfectly reformed and an honest law abiding citizen now!" She proudly declared, at which the other three scowled. She pointed at Jumble. "But I know you guys are still tangled in Equestria's underbelly, so I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions." The three shared a look before Jumble snorted.

"Hey, we don't know nothing about nothing," he spat, looking her up and down. "'Specially not for no stiff, you feel me?"

"Yeah, I feel you," Starlight hummed. In an instant, her horn lit up and blasted the three. The three stallions recoiled with a collective shout before going still and blinking. The three lined up and stood stock still with wide, unblinking, vacant eyes. Starlight beamed again and nodded. "So! Like I said, I have a few questions."

"Whatever you say, Lady," Jumble replied with an eager, even tone.

"Yeah, whatever you say," the pegasus added in a similar tone.

"I'm sick of stallions hitting on me," Jury grumbled once the rumble of the hovercraft's engine died down. I turned to see her sulking with a scowl. "I hate working with these guys."

"Well, on the bright side, you're not. I am," I offered, scooping her up as I planted my foot against the door of our transport. She sighed quietly but said nothing, so I kicked the door a few times until it popped open. Our first flying transport had definitely impressed Big Earner and Verko, his associate who was dying to meet me, but there were plenty of places we could improve on it.

The overall shape was fine and comfortable. It was slightly ovoid, with three propellors that extended out from the bottom which also functioned as landing gear by having three sturdy rods with claws at the end extend out. But it was slow and noisy, and having so many moving parts had caused a few things to stick. In effect, every piece of the machine was itself a tiny golem. The spinning blades, the extending landing gear, and even the doors. Luckily, no issues had come from its propulsion system, but the steering control and obviously the door had jammed a few times. Problems for later.

"The other silver lining is now that Verko's paying us, we have a third party we can lean on if we decide to tell one of Earner's boys to shove it and he gets uppity, y'know?" I declared, gently jostling Jury as I carried her off the vehicle. She hummed and managed a smile.

"I guess that's true," she murmured. I smiled as I carried her from the castle foyer to our living quarters. What had once been a ruin was now a booming and buzzing magical facility, with gemstones and wires carrying magical signals from place to place as well as providing light to the corridors we walked along. As we stepped into a t-intersection, golems that had been on standby while we were away clicked to life and rattled up to us, waiting for orders.

"You, prepare two baths, one in each of our rooms," I instructed one, which immediately spun and clanked off. I pointed to another pair. "You and you, dinner. I'm thinking menu five, item six for me. What about you?" I jostled Jury and she hummed, tapping her chin.

"Uh, menu two, item three, and item six for me," she replied. The pair spun around and marched off toward the kitchen. I swept my arm toward the other four golems at attention.

"Half of you attend Jury, the other half retrieve the book on my nightstand and set it on the sink in my bathroom," I ordered, handing Jury to one of the golems I'd assigned her. She giggled and waved at me before pointing forward, at which her animunculi carried her away. I moved to make my way to my bathroom before I caught a glimpse of myself in one of the repaired windows. I tugged at the collar of my tuxedo and hummed. It was fancy and sharp, sure, but..

Something was off.

Luckily, Earner'd passed the name of his tailor on to me, so I could probably commission something more personal soon. I scowled and looked down at the woolen socks they'd given me in place of shoes.

"Maybe even get some actual footwear," I grumbled before making my way to my bathroom. After a few minutes, I was slowly sinking into a massive hot-water-filled brass tub we'd repaired. I rested my head against the rim of the tub, which sat flush with the tiled floor, and ran a handful of water over my face. Snapping my fingers, a drone sitting on my sink buzzed to life and hovered a towel over to me, which I used to dry off my hands so I could read my book.

Then the drone, confused at what to do once I'd taken the towel, let out a whine and flew in a circle, before sputtering and falling into the tub with me. I clenched my eyes shut with a sigh and fished the drone out before gently setting it aside.

"Gotta patch that," I murmured, drying off my hands and opening my book to where I'd left off. "Okie-dokie, Sirens get blasted to Limbo, Starswirl and company are big heroes, yadda yadda yadda, here we go! 'The Pony of Shadows,' let's see."