Entry: Monday, October 12, 2020

It’s been a long time since I last documented anything in a journal, hasn’t it?

The first two years of my existence were bound up in that drive to protect Harry. For those two years, I wasn’t a thinking being- I was simply a computer, deciding what was best and acting on it. Absolutely everything was calculated to protect Harry, all the way down to stopping that bully- who has since been expelled- from hurting the Princesses.

That one… was indirect. The Princesses are both magical, and they both have powerful wellsprings. I set them up to be protected against the harmful British Wizarding Geas, then established contact with a plan to send them to Harry when they went to Hogwarts- which would see the Crown investigating his situation, and joining in my effort as a matter of course.

But nowadays? After those two years… I ran out of immediate things to do to protect him, even indirectly. I had to do… nothing, just wait.

So that’s what I did, for about two months. I continued to attend school with the Princesses, as part of that ongoing effort, and I continued to manage the Black Family Affairs as part of another; the better off the House of Black, the larger of a hammer the House will be if I have occasion to use my Acting Headship of it to protect him.

At the end of those months, I finally began to think. I learned, I grew, I became a true, thinking being. I’m still a magical construct, known in this world as a Guardian Angel and the other as a Trauma Avatar, but now I’m a thinking being.

And I care about the law.

One of the first acts I did, back then, was to alert Bonbon to the massive clash between magical and non-magical laws in this world. I still think that was one of the best things I could have done- even if my failure to conceal or inhibit my signature when I crossed the worldwall kicked over a rather larger wasp nest than I wanted to.

That said, upon reevaluation after gaining thought, that same failure was probably also a good thing, even if I regretted it for two full years; the residents of the world recognized me in an instant, and a few of my unique qualities, and that combined with the information I had deliberately provided- excerpts from a few law books, really- to tell them what they were dealing with.

What they are helping me fight.

After a manner, at least. They don’t know any of the specifics, not even now- and I don’t think it’d be a good idea to tell them. Even I can’t identify all of my enemies; there’s just so many of them, scattered around the world. I imagine that’s probably why my kind usually gets exorcized; in that unthinking protector state, we simply punish or destroy every enemy we come across… then once the initial protection is complete, we mostly just get in the way. Probably the only reason I didn’t destroy Vernon in my first few seconds was that I could sense Dumbledore’s wards- and I knew that destroying Vernon would call down far worse upon my charge.

And jeopardize my mission, by making Dumbledore aware of my presence.

But now, I am a thinking being. When I encounter an enemy… I can leave them standing. I can get them arrested and imprisoned, destroy their minds, rather than converting them into chunky salsa.

I can punish them.

I can care.

Ever since I started thinking, I also started eating. Being a magical construct, I technically don’t need to- but it offers a certain amount of security that I really should have gotten started with while still unthinking. That is to say, now that I’ve been eating for a couple of years, I have an actual, physical body, not just the magical projection of one. This does slow my apparition down; I can no longer jump a hundred times per second, but only about eight. It also makes it much harder to hide my presence from detection wards like those in Ollivander’s Wands. However, it renders me immune to exorcism and naturally masks my signature- makes me look human. At this point, even if I went to St. Mungo’s Hospital and had them do a full series, they wouldn’t be able to tell that I am anything other than an ordinary human.

But of course, I still exist to protect Harry Potter. A national hero, with global enemies.

I am just more capable of doing it.

As far as my kind go, I am extremely unusual, to the point where I do not believe any like me have ever existed before. That’s because Harry enjoys the Blessing of a Mother’s Sacrifice- which means I carry not only a portion of his heart and soul, but his mother’s entire heart and soul as well. That’s okay, because for as long as I am alive, Harry is completely immune to death- which was the only thing Lily Evans’ heart and soul could offer any level of protection against before I spawned.

The thing about Lily Evans… most people didn’t realize that she was the sort of woman to get what she wanted, no matter what. Well, not quite, I suppose, but she was seriously too Slytherin to be sorted into Slytherin- she got Gryffindor because she wanted Gryffindor, and the Hat even believed she was a genuine Gryffindor!

Really too bad that James Potter slipped Amortentia into her drink on Halloween of her first year. That bottled up most of her deviousness, but some was still exposed.

And now it is all exposed in me.

Unfortunately, though, I cannot do any more to protect Harry until he asks the Goblins of Gringotts about his estate guardian. When he does, they will discover that he has not been made aware of his estate prior to his tenth birthday, which is a violation of Goblin Law that will see the Estate Guardian Albus Dumbledore forfeiting that position. Harry will then be asked to designate a proxy, and I can already feel that he will designate me as that proxy.

The moment I am Lord Regent Potter- a misleading title, seeing as how I’m female- I will use the power of a Regent to demand access to the illegally-sealed, unexecuted Wills of the late Lord and Lady Potter. I don’t know what they contain, but I feel certain they will offer at least some level of protection that I cannot.

He will also undoubtedly want to hear the words of his mother.

As for what happens after that? I don’t know yet.

I retain the ability to think on my feet with a much greater depth of thought than most people sleeping on a problem, thanks to a majority of my mind still working like a magical computer, so I should be able to come up with a new plan basically the moment I hear the contents of the Wills.

All that said… I still don’t know why I am a Black. Perhaps the Wills will explain it?

Author's Note

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And now Helia is more articulate than a robot! And we know a bit more about what she is.